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Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Did you know that? If you go to ko fi.comporphfriidice and subscribe, will won't send goons to your hometown to break your kneecaps.
[00:00:09] Speaker B: Pork Fried Dice now with fun bonus materials for your eyes and ears.
[00:00:14] Speaker A: And you can keep your eyes and ears if you support us. Thank you.
[00:00:21] Speaker B: You're listening to the show about saving pianos. It's Pork Fried Dice.
I'm Eric and I'm the dungeon Mast.
[00:00:32] Speaker C: I'm Abby and I play Rafina.
[00:00:35] Speaker D: I'm Alex and I play Batwack.
[00:00:38] Speaker A: I'm KT and I play Will.
[00:00:42] Speaker E: I'm Adam and I play Roscoe.
[00:00:47] Speaker B: Hold on to your haversacks. Let's roll.
[00:00:54] Speaker A: It just reminds me of I showed my kids. They Live. Do you Know They Live?
[00:00:59] Speaker C: Is that the one with the giant ants?
[00:01:02] Speaker A: It's the one with the aliens that you can only see when you're wearing certain sunglasses.
[00:01:08] Speaker C: I've never seen that.
[00:01:10] Speaker A: Starring Rowdy Roddy Piper. You guys have never even. You don't even know what I'm talking about. Oh, my God, you guys, it's such a great movie. I have a T shirt. I love that movie so much. Anyway, I showed my kids. It. It doesn't matter. The aliens are so bad looking. They were. They were watching it.
[00:01:23] Speaker B: They're like, you don't need to see that movie.
[00:01:24] Speaker A: They're like, they look plastic. Hey, the kids were all glad that they saw it because it was commentary. Like, it was very relevant for today. Obey, consume, sleep. Ooh, Subliminal messages and shit. It's really fun. It's a fun movie. But yeah, the masks were so plastic. And they look like. Literally like your laundry door. Like those as eyeballs. They're like plastic bubble eyes.
[00:01:51] Speaker C: Have you ever seen From Hell They Came?
[00:01:55] Speaker A: When's that from?
[00:01:57] Speaker C: It's from 1957.
[00:01:59] Speaker A: Oh, no, I don't think so.
[00:02:00] Speaker C: And our weights training lady was telling us that. That. That her mom went to see it in 1957, and she sent us a clip of it. It's got these aliens. That. Or no, it's from radiation. Because this is when they're all worried about radiation.
[00:02:15] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:02:16] Speaker C: The aliens look like tree stumps and they sort of wiggle around.
[00:02:20] Speaker A: Amazing.
[00:02:21] Speaker C: And carry these Polynesian natives away. I mean, it's very terrible. I really want to see it because it just sounds so.
[00:02:29] Speaker A: Like some of these. Yeah.
[00:02:31] Speaker C: Special.
[00:02:31] Speaker A: Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's the word for it. Yeah.
Anyway. Hello, everyone.
[00:02:39] Speaker E: Hi.
[00:02:40] Speaker D: Hello.
[00:02:42] Speaker C: Hi.
[00:02:43] Speaker A: Hi.
[00:02:43] Speaker D: Whose turn is it to write the recap?
[00:02:51] Speaker E: It's pretty good.
[00:02:54] Speaker C: Was that the recap?
[00:02:55] Speaker B: Yay. We all had to laugh like that because it's possible you were asking that incident.
[00:03:00] Speaker A: It's absolutely correct.
[00:03:04] Speaker C: Eric, are you just really quiet, or do you not have your mic on?
[00:03:07] Speaker B: It's here. I think it was kind of angled the wrong way.
[00:03:10] Speaker A: Oh, babe, stay close to that.
[00:03:12] Speaker B: It wasn't me. It was the microphone itself.
I quit.
[00:03:19] Speaker E: Eric, I've been watching you on Netflix.
[00:03:22] Speaker C: Huh? Oh, yeah, Eric's been on Netflix.
[00:03:25] Speaker A: Nicolas Cage. Is that who is. Is that who you're talking about?
[00:03:27] Speaker E: No, I've been watching Eric on Netflix.
[00:03:31] Speaker B: Thanks.
[00:03:32] Speaker C: That's very puzzling. Have you been watching Eric watch Netflix?
[00:03:35] Speaker E: There's a new TV show on Netflix called Eric.
[00:03:39] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:03:40] Speaker A: Oh, really? Oh, nice. Is it good?
[00:03:43] Speaker E: Cumberbatch. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:03:45] Speaker A: Oh, with Benedict Cumberbatch.
[00:03:47] Speaker E: He plays, like, a Jim Henson, like, type puppeteer for a tv kids TV show.
Yeah, it sounds really sweet, doesn't it? His. His kid goes missing.
[00:03:59] Speaker C: Oh, that's terrible.
[00:04:01] Speaker E: And he is. It's really. It's quite dark.
[00:04:06] Speaker B: Let's do this.
[00:04:09] Speaker F: Ah.
[00:04:12] Speaker B: Yeah, that's right. Does it smell like something dead in here?
[00:04:15] Speaker A: It does. It's because there's something dead outside.
[00:04:18] Speaker B: Cool.
[00:04:18] Speaker D: Just wanted to make sure it was.
[00:04:20] Speaker A: Almost always something dead at our land.
[00:04:24] Speaker B: Come on down.
[00:04:25] Speaker A: Come on down. Dead mice, dead stuff. Lots of dead stuff. All the time. It's great.
It stinks.
[00:04:33] Speaker C: Life.
[00:04:34] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:04:35] Speaker C: Involves death.
[00:04:36] Speaker A: It's very true.
Yeah.
[00:04:46] Speaker B: Previously on Pork Fried Dice.
[00:04:50] Speaker D: Oh, we hear Alex didn't write a recap, so we offered him a gift, and he happily accepted. We're coming to you from the Amber Tamblyn reaching out across the plains to all you dark powers, slivers, and whatever the hells you all are. I know y'all already know everything. Or do we? Well, whatever. Let's get started with this involuntary interview. Rafina.
[00:05:19] Speaker C: Hi.
[00:05:20] Speaker D: How did you feel when Roscoe and Mo pushed Ace's body in the ocean, when you decided not to revive him?
[00:05:27] Speaker C: Oh, it was. Wait, that's a mean question.
[00:05:31] Speaker D: Oh, I'm sorry. Oops. I asked the wrong question. How did you feel when you pushed the piano into the ocean?
[00:05:39] Speaker C: Now I'm stuck on the first question.
Wait a second. Who pushed the piano in the ocean?
[00:05:47] Speaker D: I think you did.
[00:05:48] Speaker C: Oh, I was hoping you'd remind me of that. Doing the recap as you are supposed to be doing. But, yes, I think you're right. I think ultimately. Wait, did I. Anyone here remember if I pushed the piano in the ocean?
[00:06:03] Speaker D: I. Oh, we remember, Rafina.
[00:06:06] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:06:10] Speaker C: Oh, My God, all of it felt bad.
[00:06:14] Speaker B: Bad.
[00:06:15] Speaker C: Oh, ask someone else questions now.
[00:06:17] Speaker D: All right, I will. Thanks, Roscoe.
So did. Sorry, did Rafina make the right decision?
Absolution or validation?
[00:06:33] Speaker F: Well, I think you're falling into a specious binary if you ask me.
But for the purposes of this interview, as you call it, yeah, I think she did the right thing.
[00:06:55] Speaker D: We. We agree. Oh, but that's. It's not about us. One last question. How do you feel about stealing diamonds?
[00:07:04] Speaker F: I mean, you gotta do what you gotta do. Am I right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
[00:07:12] Speaker D: All right. Thanks, Roscoe. Hey, Reed. Thorin. We hear you'll be leaving King Bathwick's side and striking out on your own. How do you feel about traveling with Gnar?
[00:07:23] Speaker B: Well, he.
You know, he's a bit of a hard one to read if you ask me. It's not exactly sure what's going on there with them. Is he even, like, a real person?
But maybe. Maybe I'll be able to delve a little deeper into his psyche out there on the trail as my trail. Pardon?
[00:07:48] Speaker D: And what do you plan to do on the trail now?
[00:07:52] Speaker B: Oh, you know, I mean, we'll have some campfires. Maybe we'll strike up a song or two.
You never know.
[00:08:03] Speaker D: Great.
Hey, Will, can we call you that?
Nevermind. Do you think it's a mistake to let Reed and Nar go? Do you. Do you regret your decision to let them go?
[00:08:19] Speaker A: Who am I talking to again?
[00:08:29] Speaker D: It's just a voice in your head, Will.
Don't worry. Nobody can hear us talking.
[00:08:37] Speaker A: I think that I am not as sure about my previous life choices, but I do think we're making a mistake.
Even though I feel like that's not a nice thing to say or a good thought to have.
[00:09:15] Speaker D: Hey, Bathwack. Can we call you that?
Tell us how it feels to look at the lighthouse.
Guys. It's weird to talk to myself.
[00:09:31] Speaker B: Yeah, but tell me about it.
[00:09:33] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:09:38] Speaker D: Well, I.
I think the lighthouse looks pretty good.
I like. I like the sword.
I'm not.
You know, I guess I could get used to. And maybe I could get used to the idea.
Look at the stern look on his face.
And bathwack, how do you feel that Xantras didn't return your calls?
I think.
I think he's gonna get back to me soon.
Sure. And dusk.
Last.
Last question.
[00:10:31] Speaker E: Hello?
[00:10:32] Speaker D: Oh, hello.
How does it feel to have. How does it feel to have little tiny feet walking on your eye? Will you miss it?
[00:10:46] Speaker B: Well, it's better than Seagull Towns.
Oh, yes.
[00:11:04] Speaker D: I'm sure they'll miss walking on your eye, too. All right, well, that's all the time we have. Thanks.
[00:11:08] Speaker B: Bye.
[00:11:10] Speaker A: Yay.
[00:11:13] Speaker C: But who were the interviewers? I'm still confused by that.
[00:11:18] Speaker D: I don't. I don't know. What do you think they were?
[00:11:21] Speaker E: Dark powers, Right? Or some.
[00:11:23] Speaker A: Some dark vibe coming to you from the Amber Tambor.
[00:11:28] Speaker E: Amber Tamblin. Yeah.
[00:11:30] Speaker B: Maybe it was exa. Thank you. AKA Victor.
[00:11:37] Speaker D: Like, Adam, you should know it's called the Amber Temple.
[00:11:42] Speaker B: But if you don't refer to it as the Amber Tamblyn, we'll all be very disappointed. At least once, if not the entire way through.
[00:11:51] Speaker E: Yeah.
I gotta say, the. The involuntary interview was kind of like that.
I was nervous. I always give you guys scripts.
[00:12:05] Speaker C: Judgment.
[00:12:06] Speaker E: In that you might be, like, nervous with like. Like cold reading something, but like to just put us on the spot like that.
[00:12:13] Speaker D: That's why it's called involuntary, Adam.
[00:12:15] Speaker E: Yeah, it's. It's kind of.
[00:12:18] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:12:19] Speaker D: Well, I mean, it was from the Amber Tambour.
[00:12:23] Speaker E: I get it.
[00:12:25] Speaker F: I don't.
[00:12:26] Speaker E: I just don't like it.
No, it was good.
[00:12:29] Speaker D: Well, I'm sure whoever that was that we were talking to is very. Sorry. Voluntarily interviewing you.
[00:12:35] Speaker E: Now, the question is that cannot. Is that as canonical as my RV radio.
[00:12:41] Speaker B: It certainly is.
It certainly is.
[00:12:45] Speaker D: I mean, I think I. Did I say. Did I say from a parallel universe or something?
[00:12:49] Speaker A: I don't know.
[00:12:50] Speaker D: I mean, I was trying to give retroject. I was. I think I meant to. Oh, no. Oh, I didn't. I left it out. I had originally put it in to give Eric some. Like. Like to be like. This doesn't have to be canonical. Do whatever you want, but it doesn't have to be canonical.
[00:13:05] Speaker B: Either way, all the recaps are canonical.
All the songs all your characters have heard. It's all just real.
[00:13:14] Speaker A: Wow. Who are writing these things about what we're doing?
[00:13:18] Speaker B: You just. You just know them.
[00:13:19] Speaker A: That's scary.
I think I'm a musical genius. I'm like, you guys. Once I get home, I have all these songs. They're just coming to me.
[00:13:27] Speaker D: They rhyme in dreams. In lieu of dreams. In this world, we just hear recaps.
[00:13:33] Speaker A: Yes, recaps every night. Yep.
[00:13:36] Speaker E: It's a result of us not being able to sleep. Yeah.
We are going insane.
[00:13:42] Speaker B: And to hear a lot of sense.
[00:13:48] Speaker D: Okay, thanks for playing along. I really was totally unprepared.
[00:13:52] Speaker E: That was fun. That was great.
[00:13:54] Speaker D: I also felt like whoever that was asking the questions, they were kind of mean.
[00:13:58] Speaker C: Yeah, that was kind of Fun.
[00:13:59] Speaker D: How did it feel to push that piano in the ocean?
[00:14:03] Speaker C: Well, I enjoyed. I surprisingly enjoyed the questions because they were sort of illuminating.
Not. Not even like additional information, just sort of like any. Just like enlarging on the situation.
[00:14:17] Speaker A: So.
[00:14:18] Speaker C: But don't ever do it that way again.
[00:14:20] Speaker A: I love it because it kind of made me feel like, okay, what is my mental state right now? That helps.
[00:14:25] Speaker E: That's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was really good.
[00:14:27] Speaker C: Yep. Yeah.
[00:14:28] Speaker E: But don't ever do it that way.
[00:14:33] Speaker D: I'll do it some other uncomfortable way.
[00:14:35] Speaker C: Yay.
We invite that.
[00:14:38] Speaker A: We do.
[00:14:41] Speaker B: All right, so you, if you recall, have all disembarked from the eye. And if you recall, there is a doorway in the base of the cliff at this small little dock here with the base of a set of stairs leading up within the cliff.
And so you begin to ascend. Now, these are single file stairs.
I mean, you could like squeeze past someone, but you can't walk two abreast, if you will.
[00:15:17] Speaker D: I bet will wants to go first.
[00:15:18] Speaker C: Wait, this is down.
[00:15:20] Speaker D: Up from the up.
[00:15:21] Speaker B: No, it's up up from where you are. Down from above you.
[00:15:25] Speaker C: Yes, that makes sense.
[00:15:26] Speaker F: Wow.
[00:15:27] Speaker D: I picture Will just taking off and flying up the corkscrew, like all the way up the stairs. I don't know. Is it a corkscrew? Are they spiral stairs?
[00:15:34] Speaker B: They're switchback stairs.
[00:15:36] Speaker E: This is one of duck penis lighthouses.
[00:15:40] Speaker A: Nice.
[00:15:41] Speaker D: Oh, got it. These are on the outside of the. I mean, nothing to do with duck penises, but these are on the outside of the cliff.
[00:15:46] Speaker B: Nope.
[00:15:47] Speaker D: No, they're inside the cliff.
[00:15:50] Speaker C: What is wrong with the duck penis?
[00:15:52] Speaker A: It's a corkscrew.
[00:15:53] Speaker C: So they have corkscrew, but I thought it was a switchback. Do they have switchback penises too?
[00:15:59] Speaker E: Hold on, let me Google this. What animal has a switchback in it?
[00:16:05] Speaker B: It's chiropractic.
[00:16:07] Speaker D: Post the first picture, you.
[00:16:08] Speaker E: I found the 12 weirdest animal pieces on earth.
[00:16:12] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
[00:16:13] Speaker E: But it doesn't include the word switchback.
[00:16:16] Speaker C: Oh, bummer.
[00:16:17] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:16:18] Speaker B: Wombats, poop cubes.
[00:16:20] Speaker C: Is that something I've heard that I've heard that.
[00:16:25] Speaker B: Sounded like this?
[00:16:29] Speaker C: That doesn't sound very square.
[00:16:31] Speaker E: The sea slug has a disposable regenerating penis.
[00:16:36] Speaker C: Oh, wow.
[00:16:38] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:16:40] Speaker D: Don't need that anymore.
[00:16:41] Speaker E: The sea turtle has a massive terrifying penis.
[00:16:45] Speaker C: Is that the scientific term for it is.
I'm just gonna write down switchback that.
[00:16:56] Speaker A: I read to you that one night. Remember that? I was totally reading about animal penises to you.
[00:17:00] Speaker B: Anyway, I don't remember you Reading about poetry.
Sorry.
[00:17:04] Speaker A: It's really sad.
[00:17:05] Speaker B: I'm so sorry.
[00:17:06] Speaker C: Looking at romance.
[00:17:07] Speaker B: I'm so sorry.
[00:17:09] Speaker A: I hope you knew that the ducks had corkscrew penises, Though the orb spider.
[00:17:14] Speaker E: Has a burdensome load.
[00:17:17] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:17:18] Speaker C: Ow.
[00:17:21] Speaker B: I think that's just a romance novel.
[00:17:27] Speaker E: The whole thing was a fun detour.
[00:17:30] Speaker B: Yeah, it was. That was great. So you. That was a little hallway you went down before the stairs. Little niche of just images of different animal penises.
[00:17:39] Speaker A: Is that true?
[00:17:40] Speaker B: And then you un. Detour back to the bottom of the stairs. It's as true as any of the recaps.
[00:17:46] Speaker F: What kind of lighthouse is this?
[00:17:52] Speaker E: Wait, I'm gonna look up a glossary penis turtle.
[00:17:55] Speaker B: Roscoe, I don't know if we're in the lighthouse yet. I mean, that's way up there. We're just in the cliff.
This isn't like the base of the lighthouse. Have you, like, looked? Or do you have to have someone describe it to you more clearly than maybe was described previously?
Perhaps.
[00:18:18] Speaker F: Yeah, one of those sleepless voices in my head should describe this to me again.
[00:18:27] Speaker B: Well, Roscoe, as you stare at the sky above, unable to find yourself slipping into the bosom of slumber, you pan your vision down to see the lighthouse standing atop the cliff that towers above you.
The little lighthouse is in the form of a half orc warrior with his sword held high, yet his face strikes you as slightly turtle ish, if you will.
Below the statue's mighty feet sits a round plinth, and the plinth itself is situated at the very top of the cliff, the bottom of which is where you are standing at.
Sweet.
[00:19:37] Speaker E: Ah.
[00:19:39] Speaker F: Even my initiate voices are losing.
[00:19:46] Speaker B: And so you guys go in the doorway, because that's really about the only place to go.
[00:19:51] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:19:52] Speaker B: And start to go up.
[00:19:54] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:19:55] Speaker B: Is it important to anybody where you are in the order? Is there some jostling or some haggling or negotiating?
[00:20:06] Speaker C: Remind me what time of day it is.
[00:20:08] Speaker B: Oh, Abby, you're coming in with the. The hard questions right out of the gate. I wish I were being spontaneously interviewed recap style right now, because.
No, I think.
How long did he say it was gonna tick? Fuck.
[00:20:32] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, we asked that or something.
[00:20:35] Speaker B: Yeah, I think it was like a day.
[00:20:37] Speaker C: Yeah, I feel like it's still daytime, right?
[00:20:41] Speaker E: Still.
[00:20:42] Speaker F: From when?
[00:20:43] Speaker C: I don't know.
[00:20:44] Speaker B: Always.
[00:20:46] Speaker E: Always.
[00:20:47] Speaker B: Roscoe.
[00:20:48] Speaker A: So it says, nearing the tail end of the day, we can see in the direction of the Dusk Queen landform becoming more clear. That was, like, maybe two sessions ago. Wait, no, no, that was.
This is Just the last session. So. Nearing the tail end. Oh, no, no. Yes. That was the last. That's the last session. Yes.
[00:21:09] Speaker B: Nearing the tail end of the day.
[00:21:10] Speaker A: Nearing the tail end of the day.
[00:21:11] Speaker B: So. And that was in the distance. So now it's the tail end of the day.
[00:21:15] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. It is getting near the tail end. Yes, yes.
[00:21:19] Speaker E: How many tails does the day have?
[00:21:21] Speaker B: One, so.
[00:21:24] Speaker A: Because I remember, it's also in my notes. Just in the side of the cliff, there's an archway within which there's a warm, orange, flickering light. So, like, it's lit up against the darkness, I guess. All right, cool.
[00:21:36] Speaker B: It beckons to ye.
[00:21:38] Speaker A: Nice.
[00:21:38] Speaker B: To whom does it beckon most strongly?
[00:21:44] Speaker A: Will goes. He just goes.
[00:21:47] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:21:47] Speaker A: He gestures to Shimi, and he's like, let's go.
[00:21:50] Speaker B: All right, boss. Come on. Everyone going up the stairs, follow Will.
[00:21:54] Speaker A: Oh, God. I'm gonna run out of breath. It's gonna be really embarrassing.
[00:21:58] Speaker B: Slow, boss. It's all right.
Is anybody not going up the stairs?
[00:22:07] Speaker C: It's important to know I'm going up the stairs.
[00:22:10] Speaker B: Cartwheel.
[00:22:11] Speaker E: This look like it's gonna be exhausting.
[00:22:13] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:22:19] Speaker E: I'm tired. On Roscoe's behalf.
[00:22:22] Speaker C: Yeah.
Yeah. I think that I. I know for Rafina, this is something I've realized through our involuntary interviews that Rafina is also tired. It's been sort of exhausting with all of the emotional turmoil. So, yes, exhaustion is a thing.
[00:22:41] Speaker B: That being said, Rafina just participated in a grand staircase race via cartwheels, so she's probably all right just physically all right. So you start to head up the stairs, which, like I mentioned, are switchback stairs within the cliff and the flickering orange light. There are sconces set in the walls every so often. Often enough to, you know, pretty well illuminate the treads of the stairs as you ascend.
Every so often, there's either a basically window cut into the stone on the side to allow air and if there is any light outside light to come in.
And as you ascend, occasionally there's even points at which the stairs and the path are outside of the rock.
They're pretty much going straight up. And there's some points at which it seems like just the natural form of the. The cliff allows the staircase to sort of travel outside versus in, and those feel a little precarious. It's not, like, fully exposed. It's almost like there's kind of like a low stone railing at points to your side, but you feel pretty exposed during. During those points, and then it cuts back in. And sometimes you're in the dark for some time. There's not even a single opening allowing any exposure to the outside air for what feels like many, many flights.
[00:24:21] Speaker A: Jeez.
Torture stairs.
[00:24:26] Speaker B: At one point, there's a drip of water that just consistently hits your forehead for four hours.
[00:24:33] Speaker A: Something is shitting over me.
How many bats are in this staircase?
[00:24:41] Speaker B: And eventually you start to notice on the inside wall of the stairs are these carved reliefs. These images, they're sort of these grand murals almost, of various.
If you take this time to step back and try to take them in.
[00:25:07] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:25:09] Speaker A: Oh, my God. Look at the sword.
[00:25:12] Speaker F: Oh, we gotta take. Yeah, let's take a carved relief break.
[00:25:16] Speaker E: We've gotta just.
[00:25:17] Speaker F: I don't. I'm fine, but I just have these carved reliefs. I don't need relief. There's carved reliefs that we need to look at.
[00:25:27] Speaker A: So.
[00:25:27] Speaker C: Wait, are there. It's. Did you say the stairs are stone?
[00:25:31] Speaker B: Mm. Everything around you is stone.
[00:25:35] Speaker C: Got it, got it, got it. And the reliefs are in the stone themselves or along the sides.
[00:25:40] Speaker B: They're on the. Like, the inside wall. Like, say you're going up and the. The edge of the cliff is on your left on the right side of the stairs, like on those walls.
[00:25:50] Speaker C: I have so much trouble with picturing things sometimes. Okay, got it.
[00:25:53] Speaker B: So, yeah, there's. There's. The images are actually kind of hard to make out because the. The carvings seem very, very worn. These seem old.
[00:26:05] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:26:06] Speaker B: Really? Everything about where you are seems old. Like, the stairs are almost rounded in some spots. Like, they're. They're not sharply carved like you would imagine they had been initially. These seem to have gone through the duration of use and time.
And that same is true for these. These carvings. So it's a little hard to make out. So specific details are nigh impossible to get if there were any in the first place. But, for example, a very common theme among them are these grand battles. You think two or maybe even more forces pitched against one another wielding various weaponry, with the dead lying on the ground and, you know, things like that. You see, some are these grand looks, like ceremonies maybe with imagery and symbols and maybe, like, crownings.
Not natal crownings, but. But regal crownings, just to be clear.
[00:27:14] Speaker A: Nice.
[00:27:15] Speaker B: I don't want Abby to picture the wrong thing.
Things like that. Knightings.
Yeah, maybe. Maybe baptisms or things like that. Who knows? Natal baptisms, not regal baptisms.
You see, depictions of what you feel like could only probably be described as, like. Probably religious figures, like gods or things like that. I mean, it could be. Maybe you Know, heroicized, actual individuals. That's, again, hard to say. But think, like, these exalted beings in some way, and there's some images that are. That are consistent throughout, like things like the sword, the arrow.
You see waterfalls everywhere.
And these get more and more frequent the further up the stairs you go.
[00:28:23] Speaker C: Oops.
[00:28:25] Speaker B: Oh, Rafina just erased one.
She recorded over it. Home improvement.
[00:28:33] Speaker C: Sorry, my notes just closed on me.
[00:28:36] Speaker B: Okay, Batwack, are you in any of these?
[00:28:46] Speaker D: They. They look old, don't they?
[00:28:49] Speaker C: I guess that wasn't a yes or no answer.
[00:28:54] Speaker D: I don't know. Did you see me? Did anyone.
Do you see anyone who looks like me? I mean, this whole lighthouse looks like other me.
[00:29:03] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:29:03] Speaker D: So do you think the walls would have also an orc bath?
[00:29:08] Speaker C: But do you recognize this? This whole. Any of these from. Like, is this familiar?
[00:29:20] Speaker D: I mean, maybe it'll be more familiar the further up we go.
[00:29:27] Speaker F: I mean, look, back in Bear Table, there were big features of the town that were unfamiliar to Rafina. Isn't that right, Rafina?
[00:29:42] Speaker C: That is correct.
[00:29:43] Speaker F: And then it all changed back after we did our thing.
[00:29:49] Speaker C: That is correct.
[00:29:51] Speaker F: So I guess. I don't know. I mean, we're. Now we're in your stomping grounds.
[00:29:59] Speaker E: And.
[00:30:00] Speaker F: I just wondered, was there even a lighthouse in this spot in your time? In your.
[00:30:10] Speaker E: At least?
[00:30:10] Speaker F: And.
[00:30:13] Speaker D: Yeah, I'm pretty sure. But, I mean, it obviously didn't look like this.
[00:30:20] Speaker F: Did it look like some other kind of penis?
[00:30:26] Speaker C: What? Animal penis does it look like?
[00:30:30] Speaker D: Oh, oh, you're talking about the stairs now.
[00:30:33] Speaker F: No, but really, like, was it just a regular lighthouse, or was it in another.
Was it. Was it a sculpture of you, but in your real form?
[00:30:44] Speaker D: Oh, no, there were no sculptures of me.
[00:30:53] Speaker B: Well, then who was it?
[00:30:55] Speaker C: But you were king, right?
[00:30:58] Speaker B: Yes. Kick is king.
[00:31:01] Speaker A: Yeah, let's be careful with the other name.
[00:31:09] Speaker C: Nobody's here. Right?
Just us. And the possibility of falling off of this staircase.
[00:31:16] Speaker A: And also the possibility of a spell in which somebody can spy on someone else. Like a spell that I have. Rafina. That's why we're trying to keep this a thing the whole time we travel. Just be careful. Also, by the way, K3 is not that upset.
[00:31:31] Speaker F: No, but I think it's a really good. I think it's a really good point, Valencia.
[00:31:39] Speaker D: No, I don't recognize any of this yet.
Maybe I will later.
[00:31:46] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, because you never been here. You from over there, where we came from?
[00:31:52] Speaker A: I clap my hands.
[00:31:54] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:31:55] Speaker E: Roscoe matches Will's clap. Like in kindergarten.
[00:32:01] Speaker B: You guys went to kindergarten Together?
[00:32:03] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:32:03] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:32:05] Speaker D: Oh, like. Like when he goes like.
Yeah, and then all the kids do it.
[00:32:11] Speaker E: That's.
I want that to be something that. This. That we have to do, that Will claps like that every once in a while to get us to focus.
[00:32:21] Speaker A: Well, I'll just let you. If Roscoe really did that, I'll just snap a look at him like he doesn't know what that meant. This is. Yeah, like that instant face. I love that face. I knew that was the face you were gonna give me.
You're kind of bewildered, but just, like, waiting to hear what positive thing I'm about to say to you.
It's so cute.
All right.
[00:32:48] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:32:50] Speaker A: I turn around. I start walking again.
[00:32:52] Speaker B: Okay, keep going.
[00:32:54] Speaker A: These bones. What a bad idea it was to make these bones before we. I say in my head, to make these bones before I had to climb a whole lighthouse with them carrying, what, 40 pounds of bones? How many pounds? He was over six feet tall.
[00:33:10] Speaker B: I mean, 100 pounds.
I don't know. Do you? Theoretically. Are you. Have you been picturing a full dragonborn skeleton?
[00:33:16] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't know. It's.
[00:33:17] Speaker B: I haven't.
[00:33:18] Speaker A: Some kind of burnt remains.
[00:33:19] Speaker B: Yeah, but, like, it's pictured, like, three or four.
[00:33:21] Speaker C: It can't be all of them.
[00:33:23] Speaker A: Yeah, I know, but, like, that's why.
[00:33:26] Speaker D: Will was intense so long. Will was like, oh, my gosh. There are, like, 300 and whatever bones in a dragonborn skeleton, and I only just.
[00:33:35] Speaker C: In its hand.
[00:33:36] Speaker D: I've made 36 of them so far.
[00:33:38] Speaker B: I guess Will was doing a lot of boning in his tent.
[00:33:41] Speaker A: Stop it. I guess I just assumed there was at least one, like, pretty decent sized bone to make it obvious that it was like the bone of Bathweb. Like, it's a bunch of ashes, and.
[00:33:53] Speaker E: Then it's his cloaca bone.
[00:33:54] Speaker A: Oh, that is his biggest bone for sure.
[00:33:57] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:33:57] Speaker A: So. Okay. All right, all right. It's easy. I have it slung over my back. All right, what's up, guys?
[00:34:02] Speaker B: If we go by, the human skeleton accounts for about 15% of a person's weight, apparently. I mean, that seems subjective, but okay.
[00:34:14] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:34:15] Speaker B: So how much did Bathwhack weigh?
[00:34:17] Speaker A: A lot.
[00:34:18] Speaker C: But also 202, 300 something.
[00:34:23] Speaker B: I don't know.
[00:34:24] Speaker E: I'm googling convert human bone weight. Dragonborn, not dragonborn. Boner weight. Dragonborn bone weight.
[00:34:34] Speaker C: Yeah, that's a different question.
[00:34:36] Speaker B: Commissions charge you extra for that.
[00:34:37] Speaker A: Let's see. Did Mark Justin.
He does wear shoes. According to the Wiki, he's 255 pounds.
[00:34:46] Speaker B: All right, 15.
[00:34:47] Speaker C: Oh, I thought it was closer to 300.
[00:34:49] Speaker B: So what's. What was it?
[00:34:50] Speaker A: He's tiny.
[00:34:52] Speaker B: How much did he weigh?
[00:34:54] Speaker A: 255.
[00:34:55] Speaker B: 15% of 255. 38 and a quarter. Okay, so if I made it like 20 pounds.
[00:35:03] Speaker A: Like, if even. 15 pounds of bones. 20 pounds. I don't know.
[00:35:06] Speaker B: Half his bones.
[00:35:07] Speaker A: I don't know. I'm trying to make it look like his bones.
[00:35:09] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:35:10] Speaker A: God. It'd never question like this.
[00:35:12] Speaker B: I like a Halloween decoration version of, like, two or three kind of piled up on top of each other. That's always what I pictured in my head.
[00:35:19] Speaker A: Why?
[00:35:20] Speaker B: I don't know.
[00:35:20] Speaker A: Because you live in a cartoon world.
[00:35:21] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:35:22] Speaker A: Awesome. Okay, well, I.
[00:35:24] Speaker C: Sorry.
[00:35:24] Speaker B: You live in reality. Please describe me the dragonborn bones that.
[00:35:28] Speaker A: You'Re carrying in an owl bear pelt.
[00:35:29] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly.
[00:35:30] Speaker A: Here we go.
No, but, you know, I want. It's. It's just we're all talking about how hard it is to walk up these stairs and just make it.
[00:35:40] Speaker B: No, I'm not upset with you. I'm.
I'm interested. I want to know what you're making. You've made them. So.
[00:35:50] Speaker A: Okay. Are we at the goddamn top of the stairs yet?
[00:35:55] Speaker B: You somehow got turned around. You're back at the beginning.
[00:35:59] Speaker C: So are we talking about the bones? Because Valencio was just shifting the bones around because it was hard to carry.
[00:36:06] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:36:07] Speaker C: I can't remember where this started.
[00:36:09] Speaker A: Like, I had this gesture where I was, like, holding the bones to my chest still, and I was sarcastically clapping.
[00:36:15] Speaker C: Oh, I see. Okay. Okay. And I got confused about how that related to the bones, but now I understand.
[00:36:19] Speaker A: I just realized I was holding them and then realized.
[00:36:21] Speaker B: It's like how we remember NPCs every so often.
[00:36:24] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:36:24] Speaker B: Also remember inventory items.
[00:36:26] Speaker A: The bones are encumbrances. A couple episodes.
[00:36:29] Speaker E: Dogs with us. Like, our dogs are here. Oscar's here.
[00:36:33] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:36:33] Speaker E: Well, I guess there's one dog.
[00:36:35] Speaker C: The dog is carrying all the bones in his mouth.
[00:36:39] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:36:40] Speaker E: We've had to keep Oscar awake. There were more bones, but Oscar's been burying them along the way.
[00:36:48] Speaker B: It's part of the ritual.
[00:36:50] Speaker E: I just remembered that we're playing D and D and not just doing a weird skit.
So I would like to have. Roscoe.
I would like to do a perception check.
[00:37:02] Speaker D: But no, but did you know that this is important? I think you'll appreciate this. That sea cucumbers also use cloacal respiration. I just learned that.
[00:37:11] Speaker B: Of course I did.
[00:37:12] Speaker E: And.
[00:37:13] Speaker D: Yeah. And you know it's, like, important for breathing underwater. And I guess there's some fish and crabs that can take advantage of this and live inside the sea cucumber. And then at night they crawl out.
[00:37:29] Speaker C: Yes, KJ totally knew that.
[00:37:31] Speaker A: I did know that.
[00:37:32] Speaker C: Look at that knowing nod.
[00:37:33] Speaker A: I did know that one. I knew that there were creatures that lived in a sea. Cucumbers, anus, coacas.
[00:37:39] Speaker D: Crazy. I was.
[00:37:39] Speaker B: I.
[00:37:40] Speaker D: Sorry, I got on this tangent because I was just looking for a. A cloaca bone, but it didn't work.
[00:37:45] Speaker E: So Roscoe's nervous now because Will mentioned possibility of spells, and Rosco would like to do an arcana check, try to get a sense of. Is there magic in this lighthouse? Is there a spell? Is there some kind of. Is there something going on here?
[00:38:05] Speaker B: Cool, Go for it.
[00:38:07] Speaker F: We need to be aware of and concerned about.
[00:38:11] Speaker E: Roscoe got a six. Arcana check.
[00:38:15] Speaker B: All right, so these torches, like, there have been torches as far up as you've gotten, which you think is pretty far by this point. How are all those torches lit?
It's gotta be magic.
Okay, what is it, Roscoe? You just kind of paused and looked around and kind of was. Were you, like, tasting the air or something?
[00:38:45] Speaker F: I was attuning myself and my organic senses to the energies around me, and I think that the torches in here are magically lit.
They must.
[00:39:05] Speaker C: Is that weird?
[00:39:08] Speaker F: I don't even know anymore.
I've had to come to terms over the years with. I've had kind of a. Weirdly enough, kind of a switchback relationship over the years with.
[00:39:19] Speaker E: With magic and with all that shit.
[00:39:22] Speaker F: I don't know. I mean, I guess it's probably fine.
[00:39:26] Speaker E: I don't know if fires that are.
[00:39:28] Speaker F: Magically sustained also might have, like, I don't know, the power to listen.
[00:39:37] Speaker C: How big are. Oh, well, I don't need to ask that. I can see them. But how big are the torches? Are they just sort of normal sized torches?
[00:39:43] Speaker B: You can ask me, Abby. Rafina doesn't have to ask somebody. Right?
[00:39:46] Speaker C: Rafina asks the dm.
[00:39:48] Speaker B: Okay, well, hey, Rafina. Don't hurt me. They're normal.
[00:39:54] Speaker E: They're normal.
[00:39:56] Speaker A: Normal.
[00:39:57] Speaker C: So they're not like gigantic?
[00:39:58] Speaker B: Nope. You could pick one up and carry it.
[00:40:01] Speaker C: We can pick one up. Okay.
[00:40:04] Speaker E: Are there any. Is there any part of this journey up, like, between torches where it's unlit? Is there constant light cast from by the torches?
[00:40:13] Speaker B: They're spaced out.
Not so far that you're ever in complete darkness.
But they're. They're not all on top of each Other. It's not like you would imagine torches lighting like a palace hall or some. Or a castle hallway or something like that. They're. They're a little more spaced out than that. But at some point, you're getting some light from one torch or another.
[00:40:41] Speaker F: All right, guys, well, from now on, we should take our breaks in the dark.
And if we have to say anything to each other and breathe, and we should do it between torches just to be safe.
[00:40:55] Speaker C: So you think the torches are bugged? Like there are little bugs in them that are listening and reporting back to their bug king?
[00:41:02] Speaker F: If that helps you understand it more, Rafina, then sure, but I can't possibly see how.
[00:41:16] Speaker C: Okay, well, don't we want to take a torch with us for fun?
[00:41:24] Speaker E: Do you?
[00:41:24] Speaker F: Do you want to, Rafina? I guess that's the question in this moment.
[00:41:29] Speaker C: Well, I'm not sure how heavy one is. And she tries to take one down.
[00:41:33] Speaker B: You can hold it.
[00:41:34] Speaker F: Well, we're not near torch right now because we're talking, right? We're talking in the shadows.
[00:41:39] Speaker C: No, you were just discussing. And you were. The torches right here stopped us in the shadows.
[00:41:44] Speaker F: Now we can walk up there to the next torch, and when we pass it, you can try to take it.
[00:41:49] Speaker C: I apologize. I did not know where I was.
Okay, and I shall go and get this torch then. And Rafina runs up and grabs it.
[00:41:58] Speaker B: Okay. Yeah. You have to hop a little bit, but you can reach it.
Yeah. It's a wooden torch that looks like there's some sort of combustible material wrapped around the head of it. You pick it up and the flame behaves like you would expect a flame lit torch to behave. It kind of gutters a little bit when you pull it up, but it's not attached in the sconce or anything like that. You're able to lift it, and it's just like lifting a piece of wood on fire. As you would imagine, it's not a problem for you at all.
[00:42:29] Speaker C: Does it seem like this gives more or less light, Roscoe?
[00:42:35] Speaker F: I think the light's pretty normal.
[00:42:40] Speaker C: And you're worried that you're worried about the magic, so. All right, all right, I'll put it back.
[00:42:46] Speaker F: I don't know what's going on with. With this lighthouse, with these worn out carved reliefs, these torches that stay lit in a place that hasn't seemed to have feet in it and forever.
And I'm still mourning the death of my friend Bathwack, which makes this whole journey up these stairs that much more taxing.
Not just on my physical body, but on my very soul.
[00:43:26] Speaker C: Rafina tries to blow out the torch.
[00:43:30] Speaker B: You are not able to blow out the torch, Rafina.
[00:43:33] Speaker C: Does it gutter?
[00:43:34] Speaker B: Yeah, it behaves like you would expect a torch to behave when you blow on it vigorously.
[00:43:42] Speaker C: I don't know why you think this is magical.
[00:43:48] Speaker F: It's a gut instinct. All right, I.
[00:43:53] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:43:53] Speaker B: He attuned himself to the. The arcanic somethings. What was it you did, Roscoe?
[00:43:59] Speaker C: Proof.
[00:44:00] Speaker B: He licked the air.
[00:44:02] Speaker C: I am a scientific creature. I really believe in what I see.
[00:44:09] Speaker F: That's rich.
[00:44:10] Speaker D: Rafina.
[00:44:10] Speaker A: Rafina. I think, Rafine, I think it's a good idea to just assume that people or someone or something is watching and listening at all times. Just pretend the torches are after us. Just do that for now. And then when we get up there, pretend whatever is happening is also paying attention to what we're doing. And then we might get to the place we need to get to.
[00:44:34] Speaker B: So Roscoe and will believe that anybody could be listening at any time, and they reject science, so they're qanon.
[00:44:44] Speaker A: Oh, no.
Oh, no.
[00:44:48] Speaker C: Damn. Rafina is fauci.
[00:44:53] Speaker B: Zendaya is Michi.
Fina is fauci.
[00:44:59] Speaker A: Danny devito is Dorgle, and Rafina is fauci.
[00:45:08] Speaker C: Rafina says, I know. I'm just pretending. For the torches benefit.
[00:45:15] Speaker A: I give her a thumbs up, and I turn around and keep walking.
[00:45:21] Speaker C: And Rafina puts the torch back on the wall. Does anything happen?
[00:45:26] Speaker B: You are slightly less warm.
[00:45:31] Speaker A: So they.
[00:45:32] Speaker C: Gave off heat, too.
[00:45:33] Speaker B: Good to know they did as you would expect flame to do.
[00:45:38] Speaker C: All the behavior was normal. Okay, let's go.
[00:45:41] Speaker E: This is great. We got so much content out of bones and torches.
[00:45:47] Speaker C: We're trying to explore and play d and D. Isn't that what we do?
[00:45:51] Speaker E: It's great.
[00:45:52] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:45:53] Speaker E: Absolutely.
[00:45:55] Speaker B: No crushing it.
All right. So you keep heading up. More and more reliefs, more and more stairs, more and more torches, more and more precarious exposures to the open air. More and more descent. Not descent, but whatever descent is, but lateral into the side of the cliff, not seeing the light of day or night for many, many flights. And eventually will. Being in the lead, you die. No, you.
You come to the end of the stairs.
[00:46:30] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:46:32] Speaker B: Above you sits a wooden trap door.
Looks huge. Like, not huge huge. Sorry, It's. You wouldn't have to squeeze through it. It's maybe four foot by four foot.
[00:46:47] Speaker A: Oh, okay. That's pretty big.
[00:46:48] Speaker B: Yeah, but not like for a giant.
[00:46:50] Speaker A: Are there steps leading up to it?
[00:46:52] Speaker B: The stairs basically just lead up to the Trapdoor.
[00:46:55] Speaker A: And there's no sign on the inside or anything.
[00:46:57] Speaker B: Don't enter. A metal. Large ring hanging down from it. Oh, and it's banded together with. With metal straps.
[00:47:08] Speaker A: Okay. I think I just walk up to it and knock. I. I don't. I don't think I am assuming that this lighthouse is run by anything bad. And there's only one dock, and no. No signage has told us to, you know, that we're intruding, trespassing. And as far as I remember, didn't they say something to do. Was the lighthouse something to do with the pies or something?
[00:47:34] Speaker B: The person you guys accidentally murdered.
[00:47:36] Speaker A: Yes. He gave us a bunch of pies.
[00:47:38] Speaker B: Gave out cream pastries.
[00:47:40] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:47:41] Speaker B: Which he said he got from the ladies from the lighthouse.
[00:47:47] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:47:47] Speaker E: So we've heard that there are people in this light.
[00:47:50] Speaker A: Yes, Yes, I forgot about that. It doesn't really. I mean, like, we. Basically everything we've encountered.
[00:47:56] Speaker B: You should have mentioned it in your recap portion, Adam, so you could have remembered.
[00:48:01] Speaker E: Yes, I should have.
[00:48:02] Speaker F: Yeah.
[00:48:03] Speaker C: I thought they were. I didn't realize it was in the. I didn't remember the lighthouse part, if it makes you feel any better. I just knew that they were there somewhere.
[00:48:09] Speaker E: It doesn't.
[00:48:10] Speaker A: It's kind of a funky lighthouse too. It's a big statue, so it's a little weird, but I just. I. There was a couple things that were said that night that have stuck in my head about this lighthouse, so.
[00:48:20] Speaker E: Yeah. But what's interesting, though, is that, like, per Eric's description, it does certainly seem like this lighthouse is weird. Well, you said everything seemed old.
I guess you didn't. You didn't necessarily describe the, like, the stairs as untrodden.
[00:48:40] Speaker B: No, they weren't dust covered or anything like that.
[00:48:44] Speaker E: Yeah, that's. Yeah.
[00:48:46] Speaker A: Well, the funny. Like, I was gonna say when you were doing that speech as Roscoe, about, like. Like kind of freaking out about where you were as Will, for a moment, I was like, oh, shit, Roscoe's losing it. Oh, God, what are we gonna do? How do we get. Calm down Roscoe in this situation? And then you flipped it over to, oh, but I'm so upset about Batwack. And it was such a performance that Will was like, oh, hell yeah, Roscoe, good job. Okay. Like, no sarcastic clap needed. So I liked it. I liked that it seemed like it was a performance.
[00:49:19] Speaker E: Nice. Yeah, that. Let's say that's what it was.
[00:49:23] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:49:23] Speaker E: Well, it seems like the whole thing was a performance.
[00:49:26] Speaker F: Yeah, it's good.
[00:49:27] Speaker B: Life is a performance.
[00:49:30] Speaker E: Life. All is the world. Some kind of performance would.
[00:49:37] Speaker A: What?
[00:49:38] Speaker E: It's all the world.
A piece of performance.
[00:49:42] Speaker A: Performance Wood.
[00:49:46] Speaker B: And all the dragonborn. And women.
Nearly 15 of their body weight.
[00:49:52] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:49:56] Speaker B: Is that a thing? All right.
[00:49:58] Speaker A: Yes, it's perfect.
[00:49:59] Speaker B: All right, so you've knocked upon the trap door above. It feels very solid. It's not reverberating super strongly.
[00:50:07] Speaker A: And I'm, like, adjusting my clothes. Like, even though it's an illusion, I'm like, okay, adjust my clothes.
[00:50:11] Speaker B: Hold the bones. They are perfect the whole time.
[00:50:14] Speaker A: Put my face. A little grief stripped in. Like, we've been through a lot waiting for somebody to come to the door.
[00:50:20] Speaker B: Oh, it's okay. It's okay. Why did I say it's okay?
[00:50:24] Speaker A: You, like, comforted me. Just that you're like, oh, it's okay. That's Eric. I'm playing a character right now. I am. Okay, we can keep going.
[00:50:32] Speaker B: I thought this was a sketch or a bit.
[00:50:34] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, this is a weird sketch thing, Eric. Okay.
[00:50:40] Speaker B: I open the trap door. Hey, guys. Welcome.
[00:50:46] Speaker C: Oh, that would be so weird.
[00:50:47] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:50:48] Speaker C: Oh, shoot. Don't ever do it that way.
[00:50:51] Speaker E: Don't ever.
[00:50:53] Speaker B: Don't read the Dark Tower. You guys.
[00:50:56] Speaker F: Spoiler.
[00:50:59] Speaker B: All right, so Eric is in the Dark Tower. That's right.
[00:51:04] Speaker E: More like the dork tower.
[00:51:07] Speaker A: Yes. He's so hurt. Pretend What?
[00:51:13] Speaker B: You villain.
You 90s teen movie villain.
[00:51:24] Speaker A: Yeah, the dork Tower.
Amazing.
[00:51:29] Speaker B: All right, so through the door, you maybe give me a perception roll. Hey, perception roll.
[00:51:37] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:51:38] Speaker B: D and D. I look at Chimi.
[00:51:41] Speaker A: Is there space enough? Is there, like, a landing? Like, it's. It's literally just single. I can't look at Shimi. I don't.
[00:51:46] Speaker B: She's there.
[00:51:47] Speaker A: I. I feel she. Me too close to me, and I do this. I just.
[00:51:51] Speaker B: You drop the bones.
[00:51:52] Speaker A: No, I have one hand around the bones, and I swat at this child.
[00:51:56] Speaker B: There's so many bones. We discovered that there's too many bones.
[00:52:00] Speaker E: I thought you had the bones in, like, what the. What?
[00:52:03] Speaker A: Do a bindle.
[00:52:05] Speaker E: A bindle. That's right.
[00:52:09] Speaker A: No, we made a joke and tried to attach it to bath wax.
Fishing kicks. Fishing pole. Oh, I rolled a 19. It's a 20. Perception.
[00:52:16] Speaker B: Hey, good job. You don't have to feel so bad. Wait. Okay.
[00:52:20] Speaker C: Sorry.
[00:52:20] Speaker B: I'm getting confused.
[00:52:21] Speaker A: All right.
[00:52:22] Speaker E: It's okay. Kt.
[00:52:24] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
[00:52:26] Speaker B: It's all right, Will.
So with a 20 unnatural 20, you hear from above the door, like a. Maybe a low murmur and some shuffling noises.
And then the trapdoor shudders a little bit and it begins to lift up.
Why am I making the noise? Here we go.
Oh, my God.
Do that in a while.
[00:53:00] Speaker C: It's not made out of stone.
[00:53:02] Speaker B: Listen, this is the first time you're taking umbrage with that sound. Abby.
This might actually work. It's grating against stone. It's closer than many of the doors that have made that sound or other things that have opened naturally.
[00:53:19] Speaker C: Have to complain. It's my habit.
[00:53:20] Speaker B: But you haven't before about it. That's what worries me. Are you okay, Abby? You know this isn't real, right?
[00:53:28] Speaker C: I'm just worried you're behind that trapdoor, Eric.
[00:53:32] Speaker A: Scary, scary.
[00:53:35] Speaker B: It's not me. It's okay. Five of me.
[00:53:39] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:53:39] Speaker B: All peering down through the gap.
[00:53:41] Speaker A: I don't like this Pink Floyd.
[00:53:44] Speaker B: Pink Floyd.
[00:53:45] Speaker A: I don't know. It just feels like a Pink Floyd video. Yeah. You're welcome.
[00:53:48] Speaker B: Hello, my son.
[00:53:50] Speaker E: Ah.
[00:53:51] Speaker A: I close the trap door. Get out of here.
Is that really what's happening?
Okay, thank you.
[00:53:58] Speaker B: Pink Floyd's version.
All right, so the door begins to lift upwards with that sound as it scrapes against the stone of the the floor. And you can also hear, and it's kind of slowly, like bit by bit, moving up.
And it finally swings past the apex of the hinges. And you hear it crash to a stop on the floor. You assume above 180 degrees from where it started. And peering down through the hole is, to some of you, a probably familiar face.
[00:54:50] Speaker A: What?
[00:54:51] Speaker B: It's an old woman clad in not great quality clothes. Might call them rags. They're maybe a step or two above that.
She's looking down at you inquisitively and says, oh, yes, hello. What can I do for you?
And Will, Bathwack and Rafina recognize her as the woman from Barovia who will saw peddling dream pastries in the village of Barovia, and then whom you later encountered, were subdued by, and then ultimately slew at old bone grinder, the windmill.
[00:55:43] Speaker C: Somebody called this Alex said it, like.
[00:55:47] Speaker A: Back when Eric said, yeah, reminded him.
[00:55:50] Speaker C: Of the windmill of the pies. Yeah.
[00:55:52] Speaker B: But she is not only familiar to you three, Roscoe, you recognize her as well.
This woman was amongst a trio of women who at some point in your circus career, sort of early on, kidnapped one of the members of the circus who is known as the world's strongest boy.
They were later caught and burned for their crimes, for they apparently devoured this boy.
And as they they burned this one, specifically said in her defense that they just had to have him because they knew his bones Would be excellent.
Whoa.
[00:56:52] Speaker A: All right.
[00:56:55] Speaker E: And Roscoe recognizes her immediately.
[00:56:57] Speaker B: Yeah, she's very distinctive.
[00:57:00] Speaker E: That's up, Roscoe. So was it like the circus? It was circus justice. The circus burned these witches alive.
So much for circus dialogue. We tried circus dialogue and then it didn't work.
Well, it was through circus dialogue that we found out that they ate the boy.
[00:57:20] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
[00:57:21] Speaker E: And then we moved to circus justice.
[00:57:23] Speaker B: The natural as one does.
[00:57:25] Speaker E: And Roscoe saw this woman burn alive.
[00:57:28] Speaker B: Yes, you did.
[00:57:28] Speaker E: Along with the other two.
[00:57:29] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:57:32] Speaker E: That's a up memory.
[00:57:33] Speaker B: Yeah, it is. You haven't forgotten about it. It's a long time ago, Roscoe.
So it's.
[00:57:40] Speaker E: It's. It's. It's. It comes back. Can I play it as like. He definitely recognizes her, but it's gonna take him.
[00:57:46] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. It might even take everybody. Maybe not as long. But it's only been a few weeks for them. But a lot happened since then.
[00:57:54] Speaker C: It's. Given that we all think she's dead, it's.
[00:57:57] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:57:57] Speaker C: Definitely gonna take some, like.
[00:57:59] Speaker F: Yeah.
[00:58:00] Speaker C: Double takes, at least.
[00:58:01] Speaker E: Incongruous.
[00:58:02] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:58:03] Speaker E: Roscoe's just kind of narrowing his eyes upwards.
[00:58:09] Speaker A: Will, is. Is there any signage visible? Is this like a.
[00:58:13] Speaker B: No.
[00:58:14] Speaker A: What does it look like up there? Is it just light? We can't. I can't.
[00:58:16] Speaker B: You see this person? It's brighter, more brightly lit up there. Still looks to be fire lit.
You see a. A ceiling beyond her. And that's about all you can make out from where you're standing.
[00:58:31] Speaker A: Okay.
I said I'll say something like. Excuse me. We had a. Accident outside. Like a ship accident. Crash situation. Shipwreck, yes. Thank you. I'm not a sailor.
[00:58:49] Speaker B: Maybe you had a bit of a head injury.
[00:58:52] Speaker A: What.
[00:58:53] Speaker B: What you weren't able to come up with. Sorry, I. I just. Maybe thinking. You seem a little bit confused about. About what you just went through, what.
[00:59:00] Speaker A: A shipwreck is called. Yes, because I. Yeah, I've never been in one, so I've never actually had to use that term.
[00:59:05] Speaker B: What do you have there?
[00:59:06] Speaker C: What?
[00:59:07] Speaker B: Looks down at the bones you're carrying.
[00:59:09] Speaker A: Oh, okay. Of course.
Just does. Does she see them? They're in the owl bear pelt. Like, are they wrapped?
[00:59:16] Speaker B: Oh, they covered.
[00:59:18] Speaker A: Well, I mean, that's what I. But I don't know. Like. I guess we've never really established that.
[00:59:22] Speaker B: Again, I.
[00:59:23] Speaker C: We probably smell them.
[00:59:24] Speaker A: I know. She might be able to. I know.
[00:59:27] Speaker B: Again, like, as usual, are they bindled up?
[00:59:30] Speaker A: Yeah, well, no, I. I pictured it just like, wrapped up like. Like as if it covered it, like, you might not know what's in it, but maybe there's a bone poking out, if that's.
[00:59:40] Speaker B: Sure.
[00:59:41] Speaker A: Okay. So she said, what do you have.
[00:59:42] Speaker B: There that looks like a bone? This is a result of your shipwreck?
[00:59:48] Speaker A: No, I am bearing the bones of a king back to their rightful resting place.
[00:59:56] Speaker B: Oh, well, you've certainly been through a lot. Would you all like to come up?
[01:00:00] Speaker A: Okay. Can I roll a perception about whether that sounded, like, weird? Like, I don't know, Will's, like, let's.
[01:00:07] Speaker B: What you mean insight?
[01:00:08] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, if she's, like, really interested in the bones in a reason. That's an.
[01:00:12] Speaker E: And Roscoe heard her say the word bone a couple times.
[01:00:18] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:00:18] Speaker E: Okay. That's gonna be triggering the memory for him for sure.
[01:00:24] Speaker B: All right, we'll roll to 13.
[01:00:26] Speaker E: She shrieked about bones while she was.
[01:00:28] Speaker B: Burning it down, Basically, yeah.
And your question is, is she more than naturally interested in a sack of bones you're carrying?
I mean, that's a pretty odd sight. It's hard to say.
[01:00:45] Speaker A: Okay.
[01:00:46] Speaker B: You're carrying a sack of bones up this enormous flight of stairs. Like, it's. It's odd to see.
[01:00:55] Speaker A: Okay. I think that. And it's okay if Roscoe freaks out or anything, but I think that Will is going to try at this time time to just. I mean, like, we've. I just talked about this, like, a couple hours ago to the group, but, like. Or to somebody about the seagull not, you know, being a name like Will's. Like, things are different in this world. Who knows what this lady is about? Like, she looks exactly like that lady, but we definitely killed that lady. So what is this? I'm not going to act rashly yet, but I'm going to very much be on my guard, like, and shoot her with Eldritch blast in a second if I can. She doesn't seem to be attacking us yet.
[01:01:36] Speaker B: Not that you can tell, but that.
[01:01:37] Speaker A: That bone moment probably made me pale a little bit. I don't know if we know about the bone thing necessarily. It was children. Pies. They were making children into pies.
[01:01:46] Speaker B: I mean, I don't know if we.
[01:01:48] Speaker A: Knew about the bone stuff. I don't remember what it was exactly that we knew about the stuff.
[01:01:52] Speaker B: I mean, that was what specifically what they were making the pies out of was their bones.
[01:01:57] Speaker A: Yeah. I don't.
[01:01:57] Speaker C: They were grinding the bones.
[01:01:59] Speaker B: Whether that was explicitly. I. God, yeah.
Who the know?
[01:02:05] Speaker A: I think I just remember it as eating children. So I. Like, I'm like, okay, Bones. Yeah, maybe okay, she's weird, but maybe this is okay. I don't know. Like, my vibe is not terrible from her. It's an odd sight. So I think I'm gonna keep going with my whole, like, I don't know who this person is, and she doesn't know me because I'm. I look different than what I did back then.
[01:02:25] Speaker B: If it's the same person, she wouldn't.
[01:02:27] Speaker A: She wouldn't recognize me at all. So I'm pretty safe right now. So.
But she means right behind me, and I make sure she. Me, like, if I come up the stairs, I'll go up the stairs, but I will, like, bat Shimi behind me and like, like, smack him on the side to make sure, like, he's understanding that I'm, like. It's a very distinct direction. Like, do not, like, let me stand between you and this person.
[01:02:49] Speaker B: Right, Right.
[01:02:50] Speaker E: Guys, I just searched the wiki for the word bones.
[01:02:54] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
[01:02:55] Speaker E: And in episode 20, the group storms the windmill, discovering barrels of strange, foul goop, a pastry oven, and the remains of children's bones.
So I think you would have surmised.
[01:03:10] Speaker C: I mean, honestly, if we didn't talk about it, we could still just think the bones were the only thing left.
We would have to actually see the milling process. I mean, it's probably not that important.
You know, not to put define a.
[01:03:23] Speaker B: Point on it, but Mr. Rogers needed to have, like, a special of, like, how these pies were made.
Yeah, one of those things from the. What was the thing called? Like, you would see how, like, crayons were made.
[01:03:36] Speaker A: Yeah, those are the best ones.
[01:03:39] Speaker E: Go visit his neighbors, the three women next door. Make pies.
[01:03:45] Speaker B: He would dip his feet in the same wading pool as them.
[01:03:50] Speaker A: Oh, yes. Oh, my God. Mr. Rogers. We need Mr. Rogers.
[01:03:54] Speaker E: No, they. Yeah, these women might eat children.
[01:04:01] Speaker A: No, I don't like where I'm going with this.
[01:04:06] Speaker E: I don't like.
[01:04:07] Speaker C: It's not too late to turn you bad, Adam.
[01:04:10] Speaker A: Comparing black people to people who eat children.
[01:04:13] Speaker B: Really?
[01:04:14] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, that's. Yeah, that's good, Adam.
[01:04:19] Speaker A: Oh, my God. Well, this isn't a sliver.
Yes, definitely. This is Adam's sliver counter self.
Wait, but, like.
[01:04:32] Speaker B: Hey, everyone, if you like what you hear, please leave us a kind review wherever you listen to us. Also, consider supporting us by subscribing to us on ko [email protected] supportpfd where you can gain access to lots of exclusive treats and behind the scenes goodies. Thanks for listening. And we'll see you next time.
