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Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hey, all you sexy people looking for sexy times.
[00:00:03] Speaker B: Did you know that if you support Pork Fried Dice on KO Fi, you can get access to exclusive secret behind the scenes goodies and art?
[00:00:13] Speaker A: Just head over to tinyurl.com supportpfd+ if.
[00:00:19] Speaker B: You support us, Bathwack will kiss you right on the lips.
[00:00:33] Speaker A: You're listening to the show about Eyeball Island. Aisle. Eyeball Aisle Island. Eyeball Island.
It's Pork Fried Dice.
I'm Eric and I'm the dungeon master.
[00:00:50] Speaker C: I'm Abby and I play Rafina.
[00:00:53] Speaker D: I'm Alex and I play Batwack.
[00:00:56] Speaker B: I'm KT and I play Will.
[00:01:00] Speaker E: I'm Adam and I play Roscoe.
[00:01:05] Speaker A: Hold on to your haversacks. Let's roll.
[00:01:11] Speaker B: I don't know what to say. I don't know. I don't have any control over any of the situation. I am riding a giant sea creature. Okay, how do we get everyone off of this girl?
[00:01:28] Speaker A: First you have to lick her dry lips.
[00:01:30] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Nobody will understand.
[00:01:33] Speaker E: I know.
[00:01:33] Speaker A: That was just for you guys. You' it out later, right? And then, listeners, we're reading a book.
[00:01:41] Speaker E: They that can be included in the pre episode stuff. They probably heard it.
[00:01:45] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah.
[00:01:47] Speaker B: Sweet, sweet. I want to hear it as often as I can.
Look at those dry lips. Oh, my God. Stephen King. What's wrong with you?
[00:02:01] Speaker D: Okay, can you remind us? So who. Who is on. Who's riding on the Dust Queen?
[00:02:07] Speaker A: All right, so with us there's the party. The party which consists of Will and Batwack and Roscoe and Rafina and Mo and Shimi and Oscar and Pippa. Clock face and clock face.
[00:02:25] Speaker B: And then there's Gnar.
[00:02:26] Speaker A: And then there's Gnar.
[00:02:28] Speaker B: Reed Thorin.
[00:02:29] Speaker A: And there's Reed Thorin. And there's Terrarium.
[00:02:31] Speaker D: Read Thorn and Terrarium.
[00:02:35] Speaker A: And Dusk Queen itself herself.
[00:02:38] Speaker D: All right. Dusqueen knows that.
[00:02:42] Speaker A: Oh, sorry.
[00:02:42] Speaker D: Kick is bat Thwack.
[00:02:47] Speaker B: Everyone.
[00:02:48] Speaker D: Reed Thorin knows that Kick is Bathwack.
[00:02:52] Speaker B: Everyone does.
[00:02:52] Speaker D: And everyone knows.
[00:02:54] Speaker A: Nar knows too.
[00:02:55] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:02:56] Speaker D: So we don't have to keep any secrets out here. We're just worried about people seeing us from the shore.
[00:03:00] Speaker B: Yeah.
It's also. I don't know if we ever decided. We just have cyclical conversations. Decided. What we're going to do about Gnar and Reed Thorin.
[00:03:12] Speaker D: Well, obviously we're not going to kill them.
[00:03:14] Speaker E: Send them off by themselves so they can have adventures on their own. But tell each of them, hey, kill the other.
[00:03:23] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:03:24] Speaker A: Period.
[00:03:25] Speaker D: Sweet.
[00:03:28] Speaker C: Good plan.
[00:03:30] Speaker D: I mean, I might be inclined to tell Reed Thorin. To go.
To go meet. Meet.
What is it? Like, go find a dude named Kivash and, like, form up with them. Like, go assist them or something.
And if he turns out to be a bad dude, well, then Kivash can kill him.
[00:03:53] Speaker B: Do you do that?
[00:03:55] Speaker D: Yeah, sure.
I mean, I'll. I'll talk to him. I'll say that to him.
You know, when we get to land, go. Go find this guy.
[00:04:07] Speaker A: Okay?
[00:04:08] Speaker D: You know, don't be. Don't be too overt about it and see what he needs, and then. Then Roscoe can go and tell him to go and kill.
Yeah, but that's all I'm gonna do. The other guy. I don't. I don't know. What.
Because Reed Thorne's the only guy who. I said I would. I didn't want to.
Like, he. He helped me out and we didn't kill him, and he survived the shipwreck, so just send him on his way.
[00:04:42] Speaker A: What do you.
What do you want me to do? Should I tell him that you sent me?
[00:04:49] Speaker D: Yes. Yeah.
[00:04:51] Speaker A: Okay. And, like, should I tell him you're coming or.
[00:05:00] Speaker D: Where should we meet?
So what have we agreed on? We've agreed that there's a sliver somewhere in Gully's End. We don't know where. Yeah, we know that Bathwack's family is somewhere in the capital city.
[00:05:16] Speaker B: Yeah, well, they're. They're in, like, a safe room or. Well, Bernard was also sent to, like, tell them to stay put or to be safe or whatever, to make sure that they're still safe. The other thing that I need to point out, and this is why I keep bringing up Reed, Thor and Nar, is that Kivash and Gesh don't actually know that Bathwack's alive. The. The. The whole thing is that we made up the prophecy thing that. Who's the other guy? Trophast is going to tell them that you will be resurrected when the. It's like this whole thing that we're. We're.
From the falls, the king shall rise. So, like, sending Reed Thorne and saying Bathwack told me to come get you. Like, it's a big deal that Reed Thorin. Am I wrong? No, it's a big deal that Reed Thorin knows that you're alive. That's why I keep bringing it up.
[00:06:05] Speaker D: I see. So to send him out there might ruin this whole thing?
[00:06:09] Speaker B: Yeah, that's why we should probably talk.
[00:06:10] Speaker D: To Bathwick about that, because he's, like, didn't quite think of that.
[00:06:14] Speaker B: Okay, well, I'll be right there when you just said that. And I'll be like, hey, remember the reason. Remember the prophecy, Bathwack. Remember, from the falls the king shall rise. That's why this guy might not be able to be trusted all the way. So sorry, Reed. Thorin.
Yeah, whatever. This guy already doesn't like me, Bathwack. Don't use the diamond on him. Use it on me.
[00:06:37] Speaker D: So, Reed, I, I, I died in Trent.
As far as you're concerned, I'm dead.
[00:06:46] Speaker A: Yeah, I heard.
Okay, but what about as far as Kivash is concerned, I'm dead, okay?
[00:06:58] Speaker D: As far as anyone's concerned, I'm dead.
[00:07:00] Speaker A: Okay?
So I should just.
[00:07:05] Speaker D: Don't make me have to go and actually die. No, I'm just kidding.
[00:07:09] Speaker B: And we had, we had cast Zone of Truth, I think, on Reed Thorin, when we had this talk before, because I think we were trying to figure out whether he was trustworthy. And Bathuac trusts Read Thorin, but Will doesn't trust anybody. But the, the, the Zone of Truth would have made him. Pretty obviously, yes, that saying. He's saying he's loyal to Bathwack. I think we can trust him. So I guess Will would tell him about the prophecy. Like, listen, it's this whole thing, so if you can spread the word.
I, like, look at Bathwack as if, like, oh, my God, does this guy even have a brain? And then I realize I'm looking at Bathwhack and I'm like, who am I supposed to look at right now?
[00:07:49] Speaker A: Just turn in the cir. Just catch glimpses of everybody on this island.
[00:07:53] Speaker B: Look at the sky. Look at the Dust queen. I don't know who to relate to right now, but you've got to spread the word. Bathwack. You saw a bathwack die. That would be helpful. Can you manage that? Read Thorin.
[00:08:06] Speaker A: Yes, I can.
[00:08:08] Speaker B: Yeah. Let's see it. Let's hear it. Let's see the performance. I made the last guy audition to see if he could do it.
[00:08:19] Speaker A: Zorn.
[00:08:20] Speaker B: Oh, no.
[00:08:24] Speaker A: Yes, it's.
[00:08:25] Speaker E: We know which episode was.
[00:08:29] Speaker A: I don't listen to the episodes.
[00:08:30] Speaker B: Eric's a weird.
[00:08:36] Speaker A: Zorn.
Yes, it's true.
I saw it happen. I saw it.
Our king, he's. He's gone.
There will never be another as great as him.
How's that?
[00:08:55] Speaker B: Yeah, that's fine. But that's only half of it. You also have to, you have to talk about the prophecy I just told you about. From the falls, the king shall rise.
[00:09:02] Speaker E: Maybe.
[00:09:03] Speaker B: Okay. Bathroom. What did he see what inspired him to spread this prophecy everywhere. You witness Bathwack dying. And so.
Because what did we tell. What did we tell Trophast? Fuck, I just make something up. I'm too hot.
[00:09:19] Speaker D: Oh, no, the phrase.
[00:09:20] Speaker A: The.
[00:09:20] Speaker D: The phrase.
[00:09:21] Speaker B: Yeah. No, more like what. Like, when did Trofast. Obviously we told him this before we staged the death before everything that happened. And so, like, he doesn't know about the. The devil horn. So fuck, what did we tell Trofast? Can we say that we just tell him whatever we told Trofast to say? He. Oh, no. Trofast heard the prophecy. Like when he touched the necklace or something. I think that's what he.
[00:09:43] Speaker D: Yeah, it was something like that.
[00:09:45] Speaker C: So is it in the wiki already? Or have we not released.
[00:09:51] Speaker B: Might be in the wiki? Yeah, to the wiki. To the wiki.
[00:09:57] Speaker A: Trofast.
[00:09:59] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:10:00] Speaker D: It's so hilarious.
When I search for Trofast in the. In the wiki, the advertisement that pops up is slanted wire shelving organizer.
[00:10:11] Speaker B: Is it ikea? Yeah. That's amazing.
I don't know. I think it was. I think it was like he was gonna touch the necklace. So it's got to be something.
Maybe Trofast just. I don't know. Trofast is saying that he.
Maybe he was struck with a vision when he.
Oh, damn. The bones. How about when you touch the bones, you were on this cruise ship with us bearing the bones. When you touched the bones, you had the vision.
[00:10:45] Speaker A: They decide that Trofast's story should be that when he took the chain from Bathwhack's body, these prophetic words were seared into his brain as if he had always known them. Yes, Will.
Will does eventually seem satisf.
[00:11:02] Speaker B: Amazing. So, yeah, So I say. I say so I say that story, and then I say, so it can just be that when you touch the bones, like you were a mere passenger or. No, a mere servant. Not a passenger. Someone like you afford a ticket on a cruise ship like that. I say with a cocky grin, like I'm just instigating this little dick.
[00:11:21] Speaker A: I mean, I could just have worked on the cruise ship. Yeah, like I did.
[00:11:26] Speaker B: Yeah. I said you couldn't have afforded a ticket. I said you were. I said a mere servant. That's what I said. I just said that.
[00:11:32] Speaker A: You're saying it like you made it up. That's my life.
[00:11:35] Speaker B: Yeah, okay. Sorry. I had to.
Couldn't imagine it. That it was reality. Holy shit. What a bleak existence you live. Anyway, when you touch the bones, you're.
[00:11:46] Speaker A: A miserable fuck, aren't you?
[00:11:50] Speaker B: At least I'm a creative fuck.
[00:11:51] Speaker A: Who hurt you?
[00:11:53] Speaker B: Oh, shut up. I'm tired of people asking me that fucking question. Recently. You touch the bones. You heard from the falls, the king shall rise. The words were seared in your brain. Now get the fuck out of my face. God. And he walks away.
[00:12:06] Speaker A: My liege. What should I do?
[00:12:11] Speaker D: Just what Will said.
[00:12:13] Speaker A: Are you sure about him?
[00:12:17] Speaker D: I trust him. He never lies.
Or mostly doesn't lie anyway.
[00:12:28] Speaker A: I mean, I. I trust you, I guess, the least like loyal you seem.
[00:12:39] Speaker B: Oh, man. Oh, no.
[00:12:42] Speaker A: You're. Heard that you're gonna turn all of Batwack's followers away, but I guess I.
[00:12:47] Speaker B: Didn'T hear this because I walked away. But if I realize that. Oh, man, I just don't like this guy.
[00:12:54] Speaker D: Have. Have them.
Have. Have them meet us southwest of Gully's End in the. In the wilds. I think it'll be.
It'll be easier for us to approach from there.
[00:13:12] Speaker A: Is there a specific landmark you want them to rendezvous at?
The wild? Sounds relatively vague, my liege.
[00:13:30] Speaker D: Oh, storytelling.
[00:13:33] Speaker C: You can do it.
[00:13:36] Speaker D: What I have in mind is meeting out where bathroom got lost. But I'm trying to think of a.
A landmark that might be on the edge of it or something.
I don't know. There's a watchtower out there.
[00:13:52] Speaker A: Oh, there you go.
The watchtower.
Okay, so there's a watchtower southwest of Gully's End in the wilds.
And you want them to meet you there or. Well, not meet you there because you're dead.
[00:14:19] Speaker D: Right.
[00:14:20] Speaker A: But there are those bearing your bones. Should. We'll be meeting them there.
[00:14:32] Speaker D: Let's do it.
[00:14:33] Speaker A: Okay.
All right. And then they just stand awkwardly as they're not ready to depart from each other. They're still stuck on an island together.
[00:14:47] Speaker D: I'll get out my playing cards and I'll play a game with him.
[00:14:51] Speaker A: Are they done?
[00:14:54] Speaker D: Not quite.
[00:14:55] Speaker C: Makes playing there's enough.
[00:14:57] Speaker D: I mean, I've written the. The Valley, the values.
[00:15:00] Speaker A: Yeah, they're functional.
[00:15:01] Speaker D: Some of the artwork, they're functional, but they're not finished.
[00:15:04] Speaker A: Okay, cool.
[00:15:05] Speaker D: There's more than just like, what is it? The three of hearts and like two.
[00:15:09] Speaker A: Other cards and two other cards. It's a three card deck.
[00:15:15] Speaker B: A three card deck.
They're just playing. Guess which card I'm holding now. Guess which one I'm holding this time.
Now guess which one I'm holding. This one.
[00:15:30] Speaker D: I'm thinking of a card between.
[00:15:35] Speaker A: Is this your card?
[00:15:36] Speaker B: Between three. Jack and seven.
Guess which One.
[00:15:43] Speaker A: All right, so what's. His face is clear read Thorin. He's got clear directions. He knows what he's doing.
While all this is happening, you've neared even closer to the cliffs. They're starting to loom. Further and further above, you're able to make out the form of the lighthouse.
It's a very unique lighthouse. You guys, you've never seen a lighthouse like this before.
It is, in fact, a statue, a huge statue of a lighthouse.
[00:16:22] Speaker E: Statue of a lighthouse.
[00:16:29] Speaker A: Fuck you, Adam.
[00:16:31] Speaker B: I've never seen anything like it before.
[00:16:33] Speaker A: Too funny. Oh, man.
It is a statue of a half orc.
The half orc is standing bare chested with his sword held high above his head.
Now that you're closer, and it's getting a little darker too, you can see that the tip of the sword is emitting a light.
He's got a very fierce stern look on his face and there's something about his features. They're almost like, it's weird to say about a half orc, but they're very, very vaguely Chelonian.
[00:17:19] Speaker B: Nice.
[00:17:21] Speaker A: You also see that at the base of the cliff, it looks like in the distance there is a dock for small ships and boats.
[00:17:35] Speaker B: So are we together that this might look like how bathwhat? Like orc bathwack looks?
[00:17:40] Speaker A: You kind of get that sense.
[00:17:42] Speaker B: Because if it's. Yeah, I'm just a little bit. Okay. Because we haven't seen that ourselves yet.
[00:17:50] Speaker D: That's right. Everyone else has seen it.
[00:17:52] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:17:53] Speaker D: Are we. Are we still far enough out over the water that.
Well, first of all, are there any ships around? Like, are we the. Only.
[00:18:02] Speaker A: The dock is empty.
Yeah. You don't see any. Any ships nearby? No.
[00:18:09] Speaker D: And we're far enough out that. That we're obviously on a huge island. So we're probably. The island itself is visible, but. But the people on it, like, we're probably difficult to see unless someone has a, you know, a spyglass or something. Telescope.
[00:18:26] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:18:28] Speaker D: All right.
[00:18:29] Speaker A: I think that is a fair assessment.
[00:18:33] Speaker B: I think I make sure that I look like Valencia Beigeman and I have the bones. I probably have to recast that spell to make the bones.
[00:18:44] Speaker A: How long do they last? I don't remember. I think I came up with a number because its bone wasn't listed as one of the examples on the thing. I feel like I said, like 18 hours.
[00:18:58] Speaker B: It says bone 18 hours. We wrote. We either wrote it in there or we probably. I probably wrote it in there.
[00:19:05] Speaker A: Is it just. There's one thing that's 18.
[00:19:06] Speaker B: No vegetable matter one day. Bone, 18 hours stowed or crystal 12 precious metals, one.
[00:19:11] Speaker A: I think we probably wrote it in there.
[00:19:13] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:19:14] Speaker A: Good job.
[00:19:15] Speaker B: I try to write it down consistent. So.
[00:19:18] Speaker A: So, yeah, you.
[00:19:19] Speaker B: I mean, I probably have to, I guess. We were only on the cruise ship for one minute, but it was at the beginning of that day when Bathrack.
[00:19:29] Speaker A: Was killed, which was the day before this.
[00:19:33] Speaker B: Okay. So I would go into my tent and make the bones and come out as Valencia Bejeman with the bones. If I still have that oil bear. Oh, no, it's catching. Roscoe, the owl bear poilt have that. I'll wrap him in that.
[00:19:50] Speaker A: An oil bear is a different thing.
[00:19:54] Speaker D: So. Well, I mean, I assume we play a quick game. It takes Will some time to do his things.
While he's still in the tent and Rafine is playing the piano, I'm going to fly out away from the coast, away from the island, over the surface of the water kind of in the.
You know, just. Just off the surface. I don't know if there are waves or anything like this or if it's a calm bay. It's pretty cold, so it's probably pretty calm. So there maybe isn't a lot for me to. A lot of features for me to blend in with, but I'm going to stay low to the water and fly out away from the Dusk Queen.
Hopefully far enough away that she can't hear me.
[00:20:50] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:20:51] Speaker D: I might.
I might test it. I might whisper.
Can you hear me, Dusk Queen?
[00:21:03] Speaker A: You don't hear a reply?
[00:21:05] Speaker D: All right.
Can you hear me, Santra?
So I have to shout your name?
Are you bored?
How's your new king?
Juliet's afraid, Zentras.
I'm not afraid.
Are you waiting for us in Gully's End?
Can you make me a stronger king?
I am the king of Gully's End, Sandra.
And then I'll fly back. If he doesn't reply, I'm just tested. I'm just curious if he hears me.
[00:22:13] Speaker A: You don't receive any reply that you can discern.
You all right there, bathwack? Where'd you go?
[00:22:30] Speaker D: I just went for a quick, quick flight.
I'm not gonna get a chance to do this again for a while. Yeah, you all know who I am.
[00:22:38] Speaker A: Those boots are pretty cool.
[00:22:43] Speaker C: Is it getting dark?
[00:22:44] Speaker A: Yeah, it's getting darker.
[00:22:48] Speaker C: Will. I'd like to. Is Will there yet?
[00:22:52] Speaker A: Yeah, he's come back out as Valencio with the bones in the oil bear pelt.
[00:22:57] Speaker C: And he's with us.
[00:23:00] Speaker A: I mean, is Will ever with you?
Is he ever not?
[00:23:05] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:23:07] Speaker A: Shut up.
[00:23:08] Speaker B: He comes out. Rafina's right there. Immediately. Yes.
[00:23:12] Speaker C: She's got the piano right at the door of the tent.
[00:23:15] Speaker B: I try to come out. I walk into the piano. Oh. Ow.
[00:23:20] Speaker D: Oops.
[00:23:21] Speaker C: Sorry.
[00:23:21] Speaker A: The bones crack and crumble to the ground.
[00:23:24] Speaker B: My spell. No.
[00:23:28] Speaker C: Oh, it's Valencio. Hi, Valencio.
[00:23:31] Speaker B: Hello.
I'm not really carrying this piano forever, am I?
[00:23:37] Speaker C: All right, I'll put it in the terrarium.
[00:23:42] Speaker B: Is that possible?
[00:23:45] Speaker C: I feel like I should be able to miniaturize it somehow. Roscoe.
[00:23:51] Speaker E: Yeah, yeah. He sticks his head out of Rudy. What? What?
[00:23:58] Speaker C: How do you make the rutabago into the Rudy?
[00:24:04] Speaker E: Well, it's. It's from the same place where we got Will's dentist. Some magical item.
[00:24:11] Speaker C: I'd like to turn my piano into a magical item.
[00:24:17] Speaker E: How so?
[00:24:19] Speaker C: I want it to shrink down.
Do you have a spell for that or something? Or do you know a person I can talk to?
[00:24:27] Speaker E: I do have a spell.
[00:24:31] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:24:35] Speaker E: I can.
[00:24:36] Speaker C: The smash piano spell.
[00:24:39] Speaker E: I can cause an object to grow smaller.
[00:24:44] Speaker C: Is that for real?
[00:24:45] Speaker E: Only for the duration of my concentration spell.
[00:24:51] Speaker C: Oh.
How long can you concentrate by the book?
[00:24:56] Speaker E: Up to one minute in life. They should have been lower than that, to be honest.
[00:25:04] Speaker C: Well, if I were to put it. To shrink it down and put in the terrarium, and then if it grew bigger again, I don't know if the terrarium would explode.
[00:25:14] Speaker E: What is this?
[00:25:15] Speaker B: Why?
[00:25:16] Speaker E: What do you do?
[00:25:17] Speaker C: Well, we went through all this to take the piano off the cruise ship, and Will clearly is not interested in taking it with us anymore.
[00:25:25] Speaker B: And Will's trying to push it into the ocean like Roscoe did with the body. It's farting. The piano's farting.
Can somebody put bushes in the ocean?
[00:25:37] Speaker E: I forgot that we got the piano off the ship. I thought it was just part of what, the present that we got with a piano?
[00:25:47] Speaker B: No, no. I dimension doored it off the ship.
[00:25:51] Speaker A: Onto the island, and then Rafina decided to store it in the tent.
[00:25:55] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:25:58] Speaker C: You make it sound like she's so whimsical.
[00:26:01] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:26:04] Speaker E: Well, I'm afraid I won't be able to help you. I'm so.
[00:26:07] Speaker C: Okay. Thanks for. Thanks for trying. Hey, Dust queen, Can I just leave this piano on you?
[00:26:14] Speaker A: I suppose. Though I can't guarantee it will stay.
[00:26:24] Speaker C: Oh, I know. I guess you don't have arms, huh?
[00:26:27] Speaker A: I don't.
[00:26:30] Speaker C: Maybe some of the birds will figure out how to play, and then we'll learn how to carry it. Away.
[00:26:35] Speaker E: I love the image of, like, a piano just floating across the surface of.
[00:26:39] Speaker D: The ocean with, like, a whole colony of birds just sitting on it.
[00:26:43] Speaker E: Yeah, that's a photograph right there.
[00:26:46] Speaker C: That's beautiful.
All right. Rafina is now at peace with the piano.
Piano separation.
[00:26:54] Speaker A: You don't want to say a few words?
[00:26:57] Speaker B: Maybe she's the diamond on it.
We don't use it on any people we've killed. We use it uselessly on the diamond. On the diamond piano. Oh, my goodness.
[00:27:12] Speaker C: Are we almost there, Guys, it's getting dark.
[00:27:17] Speaker A: You say that and you turn and the. The islet has come close to the dock.
I can't get closer without extending above the surface significantly.
[00:27:42] Speaker B: All right, who wants to get a boat?
Who's gonna get. Who wants to get in the boat? We have boats. We have those. Those rowboats or rescue boats or lifeboats.
[00:27:54] Speaker A: Yeah, you also.
[00:27:55] Speaker B: Who's gonna row me across the.
[00:27:57] Speaker A: You also own a boat. Just so you remember.
[00:28:00] Speaker B: Yeah, that's true. Ding, dang dong.
But is there a benefit to that?
[00:28:06] Speaker A: I'm just reminding you, okay? I remembered it after the fact when you guys were, like, trying to make sure you got those lifeboats.
[00:28:13] Speaker B: Have a boat. Wow. You guys, it's great.
[00:28:16] Speaker C: We're silly.
[00:28:18] Speaker B: Well, let's still just use these boats.
[00:28:21] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:28:21] Speaker B: I don't know. How much magic do we want in.
[00:28:23] Speaker C: Case Ding, ding dong can get used up?
[00:28:26] Speaker B: Yeah. And also, like, okay, we gotta. We have our story. I guess we're still just journeying humbly. Humbly.
I look at myself across the. Across six rivers to just bring these bones back.
[00:28:39] Speaker C: Right?
[00:28:40] Speaker B: That's our whole deal.
[00:28:41] Speaker E: What are we doing with. With gnar?
[00:28:46] Speaker A: What do you mean? What are you doing with me?
[00:28:50] Speaker B: You know, we already talked about this. Gnar.
[00:28:55] Speaker A: Did we?
[00:28:57] Speaker B: We did. And then it got interrupted by some other bullshit.
You have to. God, we got what I joked about with. Well, joke. Was it a joke throwing Gnar in the ocean, too? Along with Aces. But I guess if we're going to save Reed Thorin, we can save Gnar, right? Gnar. Forget that. You ever heard about anything you've heard about since you got on the cruise ship? You have amnesia. Okay, okay. Can we cast a zone of truth on this guy?
[00:29:30] Speaker A: What if I see Eldon again?
[00:29:31] Speaker B: Oh, my God. God, why? What does that even matter?
[00:29:35] Speaker A: Do you want me to tell him about you?
[00:29:37] Speaker B: About what? That I'm on this stupid giant eye in the middle of the fucking ocean? No, thanks.
[00:29:44] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:29:45] Speaker B: Sorry, Dust Queen. I mean, what. You know. Okay, so what?
All right, guys, what do we do? We can't have him know. Okay, what do we have a spell we can cast on him?
[00:29:56] Speaker E: Nar, what were you gonna do when you. What were you traveling for? What was your next steps anyway?
[00:30:02] Speaker A: I didn't really know. I was just kind of going. Haven't you ever liked.
[00:30:07] Speaker E: Yeah, I don't care anymore.
You can stop answering.
Why don't we send you with Reed Thor and.
Yeah, just go hang out with Reed Thorin. You guys can be journey pals.
[00:30:24] Speaker A: Where's he going?
[00:30:26] Speaker C: Journey.
[00:30:26] Speaker B: He's gonna. He has a specific job. I look at Reed Thorne annoyedly.
[00:30:31] Speaker A: He looks. Gives you the exact same look back.
[00:30:34] Speaker B: You can't give my look back to me. You can't even do it that well.
[00:30:38] Speaker D: Eyeball. Finger.
[00:30:39] Speaker A: Yeah, finger comes out of his eyeball, points right at you.
[00:30:47] Speaker B: He has a specific job. Gnar. What do you want to do?
[00:30:51] Speaker A: I don't know.
[00:30:54] Speaker B: Great. Well, thanks for giving us something to work with.
[00:30:57] Speaker A: Listen, I.
I'm just gonna. I don't. I don't know. I don't even think I want to go to Gully's End anymore.
[00:31:06] Speaker B: Yeah. So where are you gonna go? You're here here already?
[00:31:09] Speaker A: Well, I mean to the. I'm not talking about the river state. I'm talking about the city.
Duh. What you think I'm talking about the river.
[00:31:19] Speaker B: Oh God. I ha.
It's important. Listen back towards. You can't be bored about this. Have I not been clear? If I haven't been clear, yes, I might be a miserable I look at Reed Thorin, but I'm also very incredibly serious about this. This is world ending. And if you're a coward and you'd cave to some person coming and torturing you and for information.
[00:31:49] Speaker A: Okay, I'm sorry, I know you were said that this is. Has global consequences what you're doing.
Is there something I can do to be of assistance?
[00:32:05] Speaker B: Is there anything you can do to be of assistance?
[00:32:08] Speaker A: Guys, Should I stay and guard this piano?
[00:32:13] Speaker B: Sure. Yes. Oh God.
[00:32:16] Speaker A: I'll see where the eye takes me.
[00:32:19] Speaker B: Yeah, you could be captain of the eye. I don't know.
[00:32:22] Speaker A: Stay here. If you leave me some food.
[00:32:26] Speaker E: I. I genuinely. I genuinely do think that if these are the two people the pathway. If these are the two people who know our secret, then we benefit from them keeping an eye on each other. Right?
Reduce the variables, Roscoe.
[00:32:45] Speaker B: I agree. However, the thing is you weren't there. We cast a spell to make sure Reed Thorne was telling us the truth. We can pretty much be assured that he isn't. Going to ruin everything. I don't know about Gnar.
[00:33:00] Speaker E: And make Gnar read Thorin's Prisoner.
[00:33:04] Speaker B: I look at Gnar, he's a huge half orc, right? And then read Thorns Prisoner.
[00:33:10] Speaker E: I was at a side.
[00:33:11] Speaker A: Oh, sorry.
[00:33:13] Speaker B: I'm just looking over and I'm looking at the size of Gnar compared to Reed Thorin and I'm like, I don't know if that's gonna work.
[00:33:24] Speaker A: Alright.
[00:33:25] Speaker E: Didn't make Reed Thorne Gnar's babysitter.
[00:33:30] Speaker C: Does anyone have a love potion? They should just fall in love with each other.
[00:33:35] Speaker B: Wouldn't that be swell? Then we can hear all about it in a month from now when they break up and he can come back crying in our laps again.
Can one of you date Reed Thorin first? Can we make it more awkward like it was for me?
[00:33:49] Speaker C: I bet they both like sunsets and long walks on the eye.
[00:33:56] Speaker E: That's true.
[00:34:02] Speaker B: Yeah. I wish we had like a spell to just remove part of someone's brain.
Part of me just wants to push him into the ocean. Part of me just thinks he's a sad sack that wants to wander the world and cry about stuff. So I don't know. I don't think he's a threat. But the thing is, if he's tortured or something like that, he could give away information. So if I'm true to my character, I don't think Will would let this guy just go. That's my stupid problem.
[00:34:27] Speaker A: So you want me to stay with you? I know he's not part of the conversation.
[00:34:32] Speaker B: What do we do? Guys, I can't this. I'm quite entangled in this situation.
[00:34:38] Speaker C: Can we ask Dusk Queen to keep an eye on them if they stay afloat? Or if he stays afloat.
[00:34:48] Speaker B: I wonder how fast Dusk Queen could take them the other way. I mean, I guess we've already told Reed Thorne to get. Get off and go into into Gully's End.
I mean, if Nar doesn't care, maybe we can send him the opposite direction. How do you feel about going back to Trent or some other place? Bear, toggle, Carnivore.
[00:35:14] Speaker A: Where should I go? Where do you want me to. Just get out of here.
[00:35:17] Speaker B: No wonder Elden broke up with me.
[00:35:18] Speaker A: Listen, I said can I be of use and then you went into me being a prisoner of use.
[00:35:25] Speaker B: What can you do? What are your skills besides singing? We don't know anything about you.
[00:35:30] Speaker A: I mean, I could be. I can be pugilistic.
[00:35:36] Speaker B: I don't know what that means, and I don't want to know.
Is that just saying. Are you just saying you're from Gully's End or what? Don't say it. Never mind.
Just.
Fuck.
[00:35:49] Speaker A: Listen, I'll go back towards bear toggle region and if I encounter people who I'm trying to remember what he knows.
[00:36:04] Speaker B: He just knows that Bathwack's alive. He knows that I'm Will and not the last engagement.
[00:36:09] Speaker A: I won't say that I've seen the king. It sounds like maybe he's supposed to be dead. So I'll say that I saw him die in Trent.
[00:36:21] Speaker B: You could just say that you were on the cruise ship and it crashed and there was. You don't even. Yeah, their bones were already there. He was already dead.
[00:36:29] Speaker A: He was being. His remains were being brought back to Gully's End. Is that where you're bringing them? Great.
And if I see Elden, I won't tell him you were on an eye.
[00:36:39] Speaker B: You know what? How many times. Get over him, okay? Just go.
Please. Oh my God. I climb into the boat and I sit on dry land on the boat just waiting for it to move somewhere.
[00:36:54] Speaker A: You don't row it.
[00:36:55] Speaker B: I just stare. I'm waiting for someone. I won't row it. I know somebody else is gonna row this fucking thing. Nara. How about you row me to shore, then row back and then row your ass that way.
[00:37:05] Speaker A: I was gonna go by land, but sure.
I'm not gonna take a robot.
[00:37:09] Speaker B: You think that we could trust you to go by land? That's the point. You have to take the dust queen across the ocean. Or the bay.
[00:37:15] Speaker A: Ocean. I thought she was gonna go around towards.
[00:37:19] Speaker B: Oh God.
[00:37:20] Speaker A: Capital.
So you got to be with me for a little bit longer.
[00:37:25] Speaker C: I think there's probably a better solution.
[00:37:30] Speaker B: Gnar doesn't give a shit about anything. I guess he. We could use his depression over being broken up with to let him languish on this.
[00:37:38] Speaker A: I was feeling a little better until I had my conversation with you about are shared past.
[00:37:47] Speaker B: Oh my God.
[00:37:48] Speaker A: And it was my what I thought were well intentioned efforts were thoroughly rebuked.
[00:37:58] Speaker B: What efforts? What do you want of me?
[00:38:01] Speaker A: I wanted to share my knowledge of our.
Our common.
[00:38:09] Speaker B: We have nothing.
[00:38:11] Speaker A: Our common.
[00:38:11] Speaker B: No milk will ever be our milk.
[00:38:13] Speaker A: Our common mil.
[00:38:18] Speaker B: Billy Madison reference.
[00:38:19] Speaker A: I know.
[00:38:20] Speaker B: Oh, I see.
[00:38:22] Speaker C: Rafina says what? What? What did you share? What?
[00:38:26] Speaker B: Rafina.
[00:38:28] Speaker A: We. We share an ex lover. Rafina.
[00:38:36] Speaker C: Now we have something to talk about.
[00:38:38] Speaker B: I think we already knew about this and I was hoping that we would all forget it. But let's all right, just stay here, I guess. Dust Queen, make sure this guy doesn't get off of your eyeball.
[00:38:50] Speaker A: Wait, I do.
[00:38:51] Speaker C: Why do you keep him in the tent?
[00:38:53] Speaker B: I don't want him in my tent. My tent is mine. No tent will ever be our tent.
[00:39:00] Speaker E: Oscar's gonna pull Bathwack aside.
Why. Why aren't we sending him with Reed Thorin? If we know we can trust Reed Thorin and we're not so sure about Gnar, why aren't we sending him with the guy we can trust?
[00:39:20] Speaker D: I'm fine with sending him with Reed, even if he. Even if he says he saw me. I'm sure Reid can make something up.
[00:39:36] Speaker E: Roscoe's gonna go over to Gnar.
[00:39:38] Speaker D: Sorry. You know, Bath Hook was fishing.
[00:39:41] Speaker E: Sure.
Roscoe's gonna go to Nar, and he's gonna say. Say, Noah, how would you feel about joining Reed Thorin on his travels?
[00:39:54] Speaker A: Where is he going?
[00:39:58] Speaker E: There is a.
[00:40:01] Speaker A: So is this part of this grand mission that you're on?
[00:40:06] Speaker E: Well, it's not really a part of anything. Reed's not really a part of our group.
[00:40:12] Speaker A: Okay, but he's on a. He's on a journey that you're sending him on between.
[00:40:18] Speaker E: Well, I didn't say that.
[00:40:21] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:40:22] Speaker E: Between you and me, Reed could use the company.
[00:40:26] Speaker A: Oh, yeah?
[00:40:28] Speaker E: Yeah.
Rascal wants to, like, get a sense of Is. Is Gnar actually considering this?
[00:40:37] Speaker A: Yeah. You think?
[00:40:38] Speaker E: He seem open to it.
[00:40:39] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:40:41] Speaker C: I knew it.
[00:40:44] Speaker A: I mean, you point it. You guys are talking about, like, these grand things and purposes and.
[00:40:55] Speaker E: Yeah, grand piano.
[00:40:59] Speaker A: I was trying to say something serious, Roscoe.
[00:41:02] Speaker E: Oh, okay.
Not used to that.
[00:41:07] Speaker B: Sorry.
[00:41:10] Speaker A: And I could probably use a bit of purpose in my life lately at least.
[00:41:26] Speaker E: Well, this would be a way to. To get that.
You help out Reed, Thorin, you're, in a way. In a circular way, kind of helping us out too.
And this way, you know, this is really just the safest option for. For everyone. You know? If you know what I mean?
[00:41:53] Speaker A: I.
I think it. You might. It's almost like a threat, maybe.
[00:41:59] Speaker E: Oh, no, no, no. Because my fear is that if you go off on your own.
[00:42:08] Speaker A: We'Ve made.
[00:42:09] Speaker E: A lot of enemies. We're probably going to make more in the future.
And if any of them were to, you know, track you down, you know, I just want to make sure you've got protection.
[00:42:25] Speaker A: So. Reed Thorne is my protection?
[00:42:29] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:42:30] Speaker A: I mean, safety in numbers and all, I guess.
I mean, have you. Have you, like, looked at us next to each other?
[00:42:40] Speaker B: That's what I've been saying.
[00:42:45] Speaker A: Now that you mention it, I guess I haven't.
[00:42:50] Speaker E: I've never seen you both on the same eye at the same time.
[00:42:58] Speaker A: You know what? Sure. I will go with Reid, and I don't need to know more than that. I'll stick with him and.
And we'll have him lead the way, and we'll go wherever we're going.
[00:43:15] Speaker E: Good.
[00:43:16] Speaker D: Good.
[00:43:17] Speaker E: I think that's. I think that's a good decision.
And Reid.
[00:43:23] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:43:25] Speaker E: That's cool. You?
[00:43:27] Speaker A: I.
[00:43:28] Speaker E: Sure.
[00:43:30] Speaker A: Why not? We'll have lots of deep conversations off air.
We'll take note of all of them. We'll share our deep thoughts and discoveries and musings when we meet again.
[00:43:49] Speaker E: Yeah. Bunch of conversations away from us.
It'll be good for you.
[00:43:58] Speaker A: Okay, but I guess we all gotta get up this cliff first.
[00:44:03] Speaker E: Yeah, but read like if. If. If it ever reaches a point where either or both of you are about to be captured or questioned by Xantras or this lady Juliet, or. Or like any kind of bad guys, you can kill each other in yourself.
[00:44:24] Speaker A: So, like a. Like a suicide pact, but. But a murder pact?
[00:44:32] Speaker E: Yeah, murder.
Murder with suicide. Suicide's an optional, like, add on, like an undertart.
[00:44:40] Speaker B: Can I join this pact, please?
Can I just kill myself right now? Because that sounds. Oh, good to me.
[00:44:49] Speaker A: Guys, come on. Will's. Will's. Get Nancy. He's on this. This rowboat just sitting there looking all mopey. He wants us to get over there.
[00:44:59] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:45:00] Speaker A: Come on.
And at mo. And she means urgings. Everybody gets on the boats. Not a single word is said.
And you all.
[00:45:10] Speaker C: One last thing. One last thing. Hey, gnarly. And Rafina strikes up the aria on the piano that he's sang at the talent show. How would you like to take this piano with you?
[00:45:27] Speaker A: I don't know that I'd be able to.
[00:45:31] Speaker C: I think it floats.
[00:45:33] Speaker A: Do you push it in the water?
[00:45:37] Speaker C: I push one leg in the water.
It floats.
[00:45:42] Speaker A: Yeah, it just stays perfectly level. It floats literally completely above the surface.
[00:45:48] Speaker B: Amazing.
[00:45:50] Speaker A: It's like a water strider.
It's all about the surface tension.
[00:45:56] Speaker C: Surface tension.
[00:46:00] Speaker E: Does Dusk Queen have, like, standing orders from you in terms of, like, where to meet us or what to do when we give a certain signal from the show?
[00:46:13] Speaker D: We still have our signal.
I don't know if. Hey, Dust Queen, if you saw our signal from the land, what would you do?
[00:46:26] Speaker A: What would you have me do?
[00:46:33] Speaker D: What do you think, Roscoe?
Should we have her attack any ships that she can reach?
I don't think she can come close enough. To do things to the land.
To do things on land. I don't think she can. She can come close enough.
[00:46:54] Speaker A: Oh, I could come up, dream for a bit, but not for extended periods of time.
[00:47:12] Speaker E: Let's. Let's. Let's say this. I think. I think the existing signal. Wait, wasn't it. Didn't you. Didn't Bathwick change it?
[00:47:21] Speaker D: Oh, yeah. I made it a bit more complicated so we don't have another accident.
[00:47:24] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:47:25] Speaker E: So I think. I think if and when it comes to it, we can find a way to flush out Juliet's forces, lure them out into the water and have Dusk Queen make short drift of them.
Is that right? Make short drift.
[00:47:50] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:47:51] Speaker C: Sounds right.
[00:47:52] Speaker E: So.
But pathway. You tell Tuscaloo. I'm not. I'm rusty on my Gully's End geography.
Where's the. Where's the. Where the. Where's the main dock area of Gully's End? Is it by, like, the mouth to that river?
[00:48:14] Speaker D: Yeah, it's by the mouth of the river.
[00:48:17] Speaker E: Yeah. You know where to go? You know where to go. This is all happened. You Dust queen. I mean, you. You once washed up on the shore.
[00:48:24] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:48:25] Speaker E: Intimately familiar.
[00:48:27] Speaker A: I know where to go.
[00:48:30] Speaker D: Oh, but please be careful. Don't. Don't end up out of the water again. I wouldn't want you to be hurt.
[00:48:38] Speaker E: Make sure you're hidden in.
[00:48:41] Speaker A: Which will stay hidden until the signal.
[00:48:48] Speaker E: In which case, maybe.
Maybe we don't want this piano to be floating offshore.
[00:48:56] Speaker D: That's all they'll see is just the piano.
[00:48:59] Speaker E: I think that might be kind of conspicuous.
[00:49:01] Speaker D: The tip of the iceberg.
[00:49:02] Speaker C: I keep trying to save the piano.
[00:49:07] Speaker E: Dusk Queen, are you hungry? Can you eat this thing?
[00:49:12] Speaker B: She always wanted to put things down the mouth.
[00:49:16] Speaker A: I pulled on the other thing she's been putting down there.
[00:49:26] Speaker C: Okay. Goodbye, piano. I put a sail on it, and it floats and it flies away.
[00:49:32] Speaker A: Flies?
[00:49:33] Speaker B: Whoa.
[00:49:34] Speaker C: I mean, on the wind.
[00:49:35] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:49:37] Speaker C: It sails fast.
[00:49:38] Speaker A: It sails away. All right. You all can decide personally what you see as Rafina pushes the piano off the eye.
So, yeah, you guys pile onto the rowboats and you make your way over to the dock.
It's just a small little dock there. Again, no major ships can war here. And there's just a small little beach at the bottom of the cliff, which now towers directly above you. And there is, in the side of the cliff, an archway, within which you can see a warm orange flickering light emanating from within.
And you can see the first of what you suspect to be many, many, many steps leading upward.
And we're gonna find out where those steps lead next time on Pork Fried Dice.
[00:50:53] Speaker B: Cool.
[00:50:54] Speaker E: Right into Bathwack's crotch.
[00:50:59] Speaker D: That's King Bathwack.
[00:51:04] Speaker C: Crotch Bath Regal Crotch Whack.
[00:51:13] Speaker A: Hey everyone, if you like what you hear, please leave us a kind review wherever you listen to us. Also, consider supporting us by subscribing to us on ko [email protected] supportpfd where you can gain access to lots of exclusive treats and behind the scenes goodies. Thanks for listening and we'll see you next time.
