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Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Guess what? Pork Fried Dice is not on Patreon, despite all of our in session jokes about it.
[00:00:06] Speaker B: Nope. We're on Ko Fi. You can find [email protected] supportpfd we just.
[00:00:13] Speaker A: Wanted to make it super confusing for all our listeners.
[00:00:17] Speaker B: What else is new?
[00:00:18] Speaker A: Yay.
[00:00:21] Speaker B: You're listening to the show about Adam starting Pontypool.
It's Pork Fried Dice.
I'm Eric, and I'm the dungeon master.
[00:00:33] Speaker C: I'm Abby and I play Rafina.
[00:00:36] Speaker B: I'm Alex and I play Batwack.
[00:00:39] Speaker A: I'm KT and I play Will.
[00:00:43] Speaker D: I'm Adam and I play Roscoe.
[00:00:48] Speaker B: Hold onto your haversacks. Let's roll.
[00:00:54] Speaker E: All right, then. Then I'll. I'll leave it here, but let's.
Let's test it and come back later.
[00:01:00] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:01:00] Speaker E: Bring a coin.
[00:01:01] Speaker A: Yes. See that? Yes. That's what. Yes. Good test, Good test. Why don't you go over there with a coin and test it?
[00:01:07] Speaker E: I'll bring my one last gold piece. I have one gold piece.
[00:01:11] Speaker A: I seriously have one gold. Holy. Okay, well. But yeah, that's, like the other thing, though, again, what I was trying to say is that I could potentially try to put your sword in my tent and get that across, and I don't know if it would measure that. I don't know what you think. What do you think the risk of that is? Let's weigh that risk. Is it worth it?
[00:01:29] Speaker E: You don't need. You don't need. You don't need weapons, right? Do you need any? Like, how important is the stuff you're carrying?
[00:01:34] Speaker A: I mean, like, I'll put my knife in here. I'll put my bill. My billy club is. What is it made out of?
[00:01:38] Speaker B: I don't think it's metal.
[00:01:40] Speaker A: Probably not metal. Probably has some metal on it, though. Maybe, because, like, remember there was ones that I was looking at original years ago, they have, like, little bits of metal or whatever.
[00:01:48] Speaker D: Supposed to.
[00:01:49] Speaker A: To be nasty when they have that stuff on it. So there's probably a. I'll put my billy club there.
[00:01:53] Speaker B: It's like a reversed WP so that if you smack someone, your initials are in their head.
[00:01:58] Speaker A: A reverse WP Yes.
Like, if bathwack is putting stuff in, I'll put my stuff right next to bathwack stuff like my.
My billy club and my knife. But my point still. Yeah, just don't try it with that, and we'll see if I can maybe take money at least across and maybe then your sword later. I don't know.
[00:02:21] Speaker E: Yeah, let's Do. Let's do. Let's do two things. I'm gonna slide a silver piece under Steed's something. Steed's wearing something. Right. He's riding. He's wearing a saddle or something.
[00:02:32] Speaker B: A T shirt.
[00:02:34] Speaker E: Very T shirt. I'm gonna put. So I'll put a silver piece under his T shirt, but then I'm gonna. I'll carry a gold piece in my pocket.
[00:02:43] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:02:44] Speaker E: Just want to try it out.
Adam. Adam?
Set.
Should we do it?
[00:02:51] Speaker A: Yes. Roscoe, should we do it?
[00:02:52] Speaker E: Roscoe, what do you think? Roscoe, what do you think? Roscoe?
[00:03:01] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:03:01] Speaker D: I mean, I don't know. I've never heard of anything like this, but.
Yeah, we should explore our options, see how.
How much we might be able to weigh with.
[00:03:15] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:03:15] Speaker D: Because I think probably all of us have at least one piece of metal that we don't want to pop.
[00:03:24] Speaker A: Yeah.
Yeah.
[00:03:27] Speaker C: I'm really annoyed about my mouth harps.
I don't want to get rid of those, but I guess I'll put them in your tent.
[00:03:34] Speaker A: Yeah. See? Okay. I'll try the tent.
[00:03:35] Speaker C: Let's.
[00:03:36] Speaker A: Yes, Yes.
[00:03:37] Speaker C: I want to put them in your tent. And I don't really mind so much about my weapons. Here's my mace.
But also, do my arrows have anything metal on them? They don't, and neither does my bow.
My crossbow is pretty low tech, but I'm worried that they'll think my terrarium has metal in it.
[00:03:57] Speaker A: It's a living creature or something. You can't, you know, be biased against it. I'll accuse them of that. That's the plan. But my friends.
[00:04:05] Speaker C: My friends. What about Captain clock Face? He's got, like, a rod down his throat.
[00:04:10] Speaker B: I was gonna say you. You call the terrarium a living creature. And you turn and you see clock face with his arms on his hips, his hands on his hips, just glaring.
[00:04:17] Speaker A: At you, and I'm like, hey, how you doing over there?
You want to climb in the tent? I don't know.
[00:04:26] Speaker B: What.
[00:04:27] Speaker A: Guys, what if you. If I. If you. If I give you everything metal off my body and I just try to go through, we put something in the tent. Is there something in the tent that's metal already? Probably something. A hook, a nail. We nailed the Tivoli thing to the wall. Or there is no wall. Is there a wall?
We put the Tivoli picture on the wall. I'm pretty sure. Right?
[00:04:45] Speaker B: We used a command hook for that.
[00:04:47] Speaker A: Damn. So there's nothing metal in it. I wonder if there is anything metal in it.
You know what? I would like to argue that Will leaves most of his money.
[00:04:56] Speaker B: There's definitely no wire hangers.
[00:04:58] Speaker A: No wire hangers ever.
Yes, I would. I think that he probably keeps some of his money in the tent because, like, carrying the amount of money I have around in just regular pockets. Ridiculous. So would it be okay if I give all my metal stuff to them and I act like, you know, I can act like I'm going through, and then I'm like, oh, shoot, I forgot something, and we'll see if it works. Like with. I know. Yeah. What?
[00:05:26] Speaker B: Will.
[00:05:26] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:05:28] Speaker E: He. Bathwick, holds a closed hand out toward you.
[00:05:32] Speaker A: What.
What does that mean?
[00:05:34] Speaker D: Fist bump.
[00:05:37] Speaker E: Open your hand.
[00:05:39] Speaker D: What.
[00:05:39] Speaker A: What are you gonna. What is this?
I put my hand out and I do this.
[00:05:44] Speaker E: He. He. He puts a few of the links that he's finished with clock face in your hand.
[00:05:49] Speaker C: Links.
[00:05:50] Speaker E: The links of the penguin necklace.
[00:05:52] Speaker A: Oh, wait. So, wait. Okay, so. Oh, so you're saying that I could say, oh, shoot, it's this. But what if they make me go back through?
[00:06:00] Speaker E: No, no, no, no. He's asking you. Well, he didn't say it, but he wants you to put it in the tent.
[00:06:05] Speaker A: Oh, right now. Well, see, what I'm gonna do, bathwack, is I'm gonna walk through. No, see, I have some metal in the tent, and it's innocent metal. And if I am carrying nothing and I can go through the gate with my tent in the pumpkin form around my necklace, in my necklace form, then we know that metal things inside there won't do anything, won't cause a fuss if there's some kind of magical alarm is all I'm going to say. I know about magical alarms a little bit.
So you know what I'm saying? And then I can come back and put whatever you want in the tent. Unless somebody else has a better idea.
[00:06:45] Speaker E: So he'll place. Place these in the corner and cover them with something.
Yeah.
In. In. In the armory shack. In the pit. In the armory pit.
[00:06:55] Speaker B: Okay, so you're gonna go out and do that.
[00:06:58] Speaker A: I'm gonna try to do that. I'm gonna leave my stuff with them and go through with my disguise on with, you know, still looking like Valencio and with my necklace having some coins in it.
[00:07:10] Speaker B: Okay.
All right. So you come out, you approach, and Grigar comes out of the other building, and he opens the door, and you hear some soft whinnying behind him. Okay, you think there's maybe some horses in there?
He said, are you. Are you ready?
[00:07:33] Speaker A: Oh, I just wondered if I Could try to see if I maybe have an allergic reaction to the metal detector that you might have. I'm just a little nervous. I don't travel.
[00:07:45] Speaker B: Metal detector?
[00:07:46] Speaker A: Yeah. I don't know. You don't want us to have metal in your village.
[00:07:48] Speaker B: Yes, but, I mean, we're just a request of those who stay with us. But, I mean, it's.
We go by your honor.
[00:08:00] Speaker A: Well, I have nothing but honor, so I think I'm going to pass.
[00:08:04] Speaker B: I mean, I'm nervous.
[00:08:05] Speaker A: I. I've never been.
[00:08:06] Speaker B: There is something. I mean, there's some of us here who maybe haven't seen metal in decades, so I would. Please.
[00:08:12] Speaker A: Are you afraid of metal?
[00:08:14] Speaker B: I am not afraid of metal.
[00:08:15] Speaker A: I was wondering about those people.
[00:08:17] Speaker B: I mean, I don't know how they may react. Maybe I don't have any.
[00:08:21] Speaker A: I do this.
[00:08:21] Speaker B: I understand.
I'm not trying to accuse you.
[00:08:24] Speaker A: Sorry. I'm just a little worried. Magic can sometimes make me. If there's a magical spell or something, it can make me have a reaction.
[00:08:30] Speaker B: No, not at all. No. We're a simple people here. You can feel free to.
There's nothing that would do anything to harm you. You see these wooden fences we have. That is the entirety of what delineates the interior of Burngate from the exterior.
[00:08:51] Speaker A: Roll insight to see if I think he's being sincere.
[00:08:56] Speaker B: You gotta be sincere.
He's creeping you out, this guy.
How did he know you came out of the armory? He was in that. That stable. Like, he just came out, like, at the same time you did. Like.
And he's just like, the honor system. Nothing ever works on the honor system. That's not a thing. That's like a myth that people tell their children.
[00:09:20] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly.
[00:09:20] Speaker B: Get them to go to sleep at night.
[00:09:22] Speaker A: Yes. Yes. So Will is like. He's. He.
He's like, okay. And he loses his nerve, I think, just for a second about, like, crossing this thing. And, like, maybe this guy is lying. Like, maybe there's something creepy going on. And he's like, oh, let me just go tell my friends that they don't have to worry and give me medicine if I have a reaction. And then he walks away.
[00:09:46] Speaker B: So you don't go.
[00:09:47] Speaker A: No, I don't cross the gate.
[00:09:49] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:09:49] Speaker A: Because I realize, like, I'm like, that. I'm like, okay, this. No, guys, there. I go back over, and I'm like, guys, this guy is so weird. Something is going on here. I think.
I think something is weird. And I didn't even. I'm sorry. I didn't just somebody want to borrow my necklace and try it themselves. I.
I don't like this. It's pugilistic. Over here.
[00:10:08] Speaker B: I can do it.
[00:10:09] Speaker D: Well, you know what? I. I think I've got some metal in Ruby, so why don't I just try it?
[00:10:18] Speaker A: Sure.
But.
Okay, everybody be ready to chop people's heads off because these, these people are weird. Okay. This guy is weird. Mo, there is.
[00:10:29] Speaker D: There is metal and Rudy, at the very least there are tasting spoons.
[00:10:34] Speaker B: And thank God they're not just made of wood.
[00:10:37] Speaker A: Yeah, yuck.
[00:10:38] Speaker C: That's the worst.
[00:10:40] Speaker B: We went to a party the other day and there were wooden forks and they were disgusting.
[00:10:43] Speaker A: It was so weird. But I loved it. No, it was great for the environment. It's because they had like. Yeah, they have like a corn. Yes.
[00:10:51] Speaker B: It's like, I don't want to lick it or touch it to my teeth.
[00:10:54] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:10:55] Speaker B: Kind of want to just like put the food on it and like, kind of like tip it into your mouth.
[00:10:58] Speaker A: But like, I wish we had them everywhere because they are a sensory nightmare. Absolutely. Holy moly woo.
[00:11:04] Speaker C: If they had them everywhere, they would have fixed that. They would have improved the technology. So.
[00:11:08] Speaker B: Yeah, they should like coat them in plastic or something.
[00:11:11] Speaker A: Yeah. What the fuck?
[00:11:13] Speaker D: So Rosco will leave kind of in like, he will set down any noticeable, like, weapons, like.
[00:11:25] Speaker B: Okay, well, I mean, you're. You have a quarter staff. I don't think that's metal. Do you have a metal weapon?
[00:11:30] Speaker D: I don't think I have a quarter staff. Was it ever replaced?
[00:11:34] Speaker A: Yeah, you. After it was shattered. Wasn't that the whole thing by the cross out?
Yeah, you got a cool new snake staff. Staff. I don't know if it's. Oh, yes, I'm sorry. Okay.
[00:11:44] Speaker B: I thought there was something.
[00:11:45] Speaker A: I don't know what it looks like.
[00:11:47] Speaker D: My new staff is the. Is it turns into a sting. Yeah.
[00:11:51] Speaker B: And that's not metal.
[00:11:51] Speaker D: Forget about.
But I have. I have a battle ax and tree bane.
[00:12:00] Speaker B: Oh, right, right.
[00:12:01] Speaker D: It's tree bane. Metal.
[00:12:02] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:12:04] Speaker D: Set those down cool.
Like in the. In the storage vent or whatever. And.
But he'll put.
He keeps the lefty coin just hidden. Hidden under his, like, clothes.
[00:12:24] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:12:25] Speaker D: And he'll walk over.
[00:12:27] Speaker B: Okay.
Ah, yes. Roscoe, was it?
[00:12:34] Speaker D: Yeah, I pres. Yes, yes. Yeah. Hi, I'm Rascal.
[00:12:40] Speaker B: As I said. I'm Gurgar. Girgar. Theo.
[00:12:47] Speaker D: First name Girgar, last name Girgar.
[00:12:49] Speaker B: Theo, you'll never know.
[00:12:52] Speaker D: Listen, I just want to say, you know, sorry for like you said, like our Travels have been long and weary.
We've come a long way. It's a lot of wild scenarios, so we kind of skittish around strangers. But I've always liked autumn.
It's my favorite season.
These colors are great, great colors here.
[00:13:21] Speaker B: And you're tending into Christopher Walken territory for a second colors here. Yeah.
[00:13:29] Speaker D: And.
Yeah. So I'd love to just check it out. Can I come in and look around a bit? Then maybe I can convince them that Burn Gates is a good place.
[00:13:40] Speaker B: Yeah, Please, please, feel free.
Giram. Garam, come. Come meet our guests. One here wants to see what Burngate has to offer.
And you see someone hustle up the road from the. Looks like there's a clearing out in sort of the middle of the settlement. Becomes running up through the dappled light that the glade provides. And this is another half orc. He is maybe about the same age as Grgar.
Not they're not old, but they're maybe older.
And he says, yes.
Grgar, who do we have here?
Oh, this is Roscoe. Roscoe Lafleur.
Hello, Roscoe. I'm Gyram. I'm working the ice house today, but I'd be happy to show you to our. We have a wonderful bunk room for our guests and lots of things to show.
Come on.
[00:14:52] Speaker D: Sure.
Good to meet you, Garam. Yeah, thanks, Grigar. Yeah, yeah, I'd love to just take a quick moment around.
[00:15:01] Speaker B: Yeah. Follow me. And he turns and starts off at a reasonable pace down the road.
[00:15:08] Speaker D: Roscoe will follow. And basically, like he is trying to tap into his art, his arcanic knowledge, innate arcanic knowledge.
He has some of that and also stuff that he's been kind of studying over the last couple of years.
I don't know why I'm sharing these weird, specific details.
And yes, he is. He's trying to get a sense of is there. Is there magic around that will.
Specifically about the middle. Like, will they be able to detect it?
[00:15:52] Speaker B: Give me an Arcana check.
Nice. 21.
So you pass through the ostensible gate border of Burngate and nothing obvious happens. You don't hear, feel, see, smell, taste, anything.
You sort of get under the bulk of the shade of the trees and you feel the temperature drop at least 5 degrees.
You're not picking up anything magical at all. Feels like you just walked through some rudimentary wooden fences and just trying to keep up with Ghiram.
[00:16:41] Speaker D: Where does Gyrm take me?
[00:16:43] Speaker B: He's heading towards the clearing at the center of this grove of trees.
Are you just gonna keep going, or are you gonna go back to everybody else?
[00:16:57] Speaker D: I mean.
Yeah, Roscoe's plan wasn't to, like.
Wasn't the same as Will's plan, right? As, like, just going in and pretending and then quick leaving. Like, he'll at least put up, like, keep up appearances of, like, huh? Yeah, you're showing me around. Okay, cool. And he'll try to hope to, like, catch up with Karen. He's been like. So. Yeah. So, will you guys worship Bahamut?
[00:17:21] Speaker B: Huh? Oh, yes, we do. Here. Up ahead, I'll show you his eternal flame.
[00:17:27] Speaker C: E. Turtle flame.
[00:17:29] Speaker D: It sounded like you said a turtle. Wow, that's pretty funny.
[00:17:32] Speaker A: Very cute.
[00:17:33] Speaker D: Did you.
[00:17:34] Speaker B: What?
[00:17:34] Speaker D: If you did, it's not funny.
[00:17:36] Speaker B: Did I say a turtle?
[00:17:38] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:17:39] Speaker B: Oh, did I say.
[00:17:40] Speaker D: It just sounded.
[00:17:41] Speaker A: I. E. Turtle. I think it just sounded probably.
[00:17:43] Speaker D: It just sounded. It was one of those things.
[00:17:45] Speaker B: Turtle.
[00:17:46] Speaker C: It was the Freudian song.
[00:17:50] Speaker B: Check the tapes.
[00:17:51] Speaker A: We'll never know.
[00:17:54] Speaker B: Oh, shit.
[00:17:55] Speaker A: I'm sorry.
[00:17:55] Speaker B: Cronch. Cronch.
[00:17:56] Speaker A: No, it's not. Crunch, crunch. It's blowing my nose.
[00:17:59] Speaker B: Stonk.
[00:17:59] Speaker A: Stonk.
[00:18:03] Speaker B: So, yeah, you start to head into the midst of Burngate. The rest of you, Roscoe has not returned, and you don't hear any klaxons.
[00:18:13] Speaker A: Okay.
Okay. All right, so I should probably be able to put stuff into my necklace.
What if I just act like. Oh, you know what? Okay, bathroom. You want to take your sword in?
Do you want to risk it?
I could put it in my. In my necklace.
[00:18:32] Speaker E: No, I'm just gonna take my.
I'm just gonna take my.
I've been working on.
[00:18:40] Speaker D: Did you just say AK47?
[00:18:43] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:18:44] Speaker E: Wait, what? Oh, all right.
[00:18:50] Speaker A: You just want me to take some links for you?
[00:18:55] Speaker E: I'll take them.
[00:18:56] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Okay.
Have fun.
[00:19:00] Speaker E: I'm still gonna leave a coin under Steed's T shirt for good luck.
Yeah.
What are we gonna do? I think we should bring Clockface with us.
[00:19:11] Speaker C: There's gonna be an MRI machine in there, and we're gonna have these things ripped out of us. It's gonna be so. So it's gonna be my worst nightmare. That's Abby space.
[00:19:20] Speaker B: Is that your worst nightmare?
Really?
[00:19:23] Speaker E: You walk through really big magnetic field.
[00:19:29] Speaker C: Roscoe's pacemaker is gonna shoot right through his chest.
[00:19:34] Speaker D: Roscoe doesn't have a pace.
[00:19:36] Speaker C: Okay. Phew. Then we're safe.
[00:19:39] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:19:40] Speaker D: I took that so seriously.
[00:19:42] Speaker C: I know.
[00:19:44] Speaker B: All right, so you all look at each other. Huddle up.
[00:19:49] Speaker A: I'm letting them go if they want to go. Like, I'm Going to. Actually, if they go first, I will.
[00:19:55] Speaker B: So let's just clarify. So first, Roscoe, you have the lucky coin on your person, and then you have Rudy, which has a bunch of some metal in her video, including some spoons.
[00:20:10] Speaker A: Look at these notes he's taking about what we're bringing. It matters. It matters.
[00:20:15] Speaker B: Okay, what if I'm just, like, writing, like, a smiley face?
[00:20:18] Speaker A: Or else she has spoons in the root.
[00:20:21] Speaker B: Just writing a head. And I'm putting ears and pointing them. Not face.
[00:20:25] Speaker E: Shopping list for tomorrow.
[00:20:30] Speaker D: And his actual money is in the smuggler's purse.
That looks empty.
[00:20:36] Speaker B: Okay. And you have that on you?
[00:20:39] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:20:40] Speaker B: Okay. Got it.
[00:20:41] Speaker D: Rosco. Yeah, I guess he just left his metal. His metal weapons behind.
[00:20:45] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:20:47] Speaker D: I don't know if anybody, if any characters would think to put, like, put those in Will's tent or something, but if they don't, I'll just have to. Rosco. Have to remember to grab them and we run away from the burning village.
[00:21:05] Speaker A: I don't. I don't know if you. Did you say that you wanted me to put them in there? Because if Rosco wanted me to do it, then he would. I would have done it. If that's what Rosco wanted.
[00:21:15] Speaker D: Well, Rosco also. I mean, I. I guess.
[00:21:21] Speaker A: I mean, yeah, I didn't do it yet. I'm just. When I came back, I hadn't have put anything in my thing. So if you said Rascal was also.
[00:21:28] Speaker D: Kind of planning on only being in there for, like, 10 minutes and then coming back out and chatting with you guys and updating you, watching you go.
[00:21:38] Speaker A: Through, I'm planning on following. I just am waiting for the other guys to go first.
[00:21:42] Speaker D: Yeah. So, yeah, he wouldn't have. He wouldn't have said anything. Like, he would have just said those things down. So.
[00:21:48] Speaker A: Okay. Okay, So I haven't yet. Okay.
[00:21:50] Speaker B: All right.
Will. What? What? So you have your tent?
[00:21:54] Speaker A: Well, I'm. Again, I was going to be very specific in what I'm doing. Sorry. But yes, I have my tent. And if. If. If it would be allowed, if everyone will, like, Will's gonna try to delay a little bit.
And Will would. Actually, what he would do is set up the tent, obviously, in front of the container and make a big show of, like, pulling stuff out of the. Some of his stuff. No, no, no. Not pulling stuff out of the tent. He's setting the tent up. He's making it look like this is something he does. Like, he sets up the tent. He takes off the things. Like he pokes his bully Club and his knife or whatever. Other metal items that are not really worth much or whatever. He'll Cabinet sets up the tent.
What he wants to do. He wants to set up the tent so the door is not facing that door. So, like, this tent is like this, and the. The container is here. And what I was hoping to do was setting it up in front of where Bathrock put his sword and putting Bathwack's sword in my tent.
[00:22:52] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:22:53] Speaker A: So I don't know if you need me to make a. Some kind of secrecy check or something that I'm doing that, because if Bathwack put his sword in there, I'm just waiting until they go away, and I'm putting his sword in there.
[00:23:05] Speaker B: It's a building, like, you're in.
[00:23:07] Speaker A: Oh, I'm in the building. I thought it was a container, like a locker. I'm sorry. I totally missed that picture.
[00:23:13] Speaker B: Like, in my mind, I'm picturing, like, a big kind of like an evidence room in a police station, but it's all right.
[00:23:19] Speaker A: Are there any cameras anywhere? Can I do a check about whether there's a magic spell? All right. Arcana roll. Sorry. Now this is getting all long. I'm sorry. I always take these long, ridiculous things, arcana roll. To see if I can tell whether there's, like, something watching me.
Is that an okay roll to do?
[00:23:37] Speaker B: It is an okay roll to do.
[00:23:39] Speaker A: It's D and D. Oh, my God. All my rolls are terrible. I'm just completely paranoid.
[00:23:44] Speaker B: You don't sense anything magical in here, Aside from the things you know are magical? The magical items. Your friends and best friends of mine.
[00:23:53] Speaker A: Don'T sense anything in here. Okay. So I'm. I'm moving the stuff back and forth, and I'm like, maybe I put the sword in there. And then I'm still. I'm like, there's probably nothing watching me. But you know what I'm gonna do? Put the sword in there. I close up the necklace, and I make sure I look like I'm putting it there. And I'm gonna cast sleight of hand because I'm a pickpocket.
[00:24:15] Speaker B: Sleight of hand? No, sorry.
[00:24:16] Speaker A: I don't have I roll sleight of hand to see if I can fucking.
[00:24:21] Speaker B: Get a better than a 10 total.
[00:24:23] Speaker A: Ever in this game tonight.
[00:24:25] Speaker D: 14.
[00:24:26] Speaker A: So I'm trying to sleight of hand the necklace. Like, I make a big show of, like, Yep, this is what. I'm just putting the sword in here for protection. But then I'm gonna put the Here, nobody would know.
Maybe I even say that out loud. Nobody would ever steal. Like, as if I'm talking to myself. Nobody would ever steal just this simple necklace, like a peasant's necklace. Nobody would ever steal this necklace. So nobody would ever steal.
Kick sword. So it will be protected in this tent. Okay. I'm so smart. Good, clever thinking, Valencio. And then I try to sleight of hand the necklace.
[00:24:55] Speaker B: Sure. Okay.
[00:24:56] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:24:57] Speaker B: And it's got Bathwack sword in it.
What else does it have in it?
[00:25:01] Speaker A: My money.
That expensive necklace from Barovia.
[00:25:06] Speaker B: Did you leave anything in this?
[00:25:09] Speaker A: Yeah, my billy club, my knife.
[00:25:11] Speaker B: Not in the tent. You left it in this place?
[00:25:13] Speaker A: Like, yeah, maybe. But although, maybe if I planned. When I did that whole speech, maybe I just threw my stuff in there too, because then I'm like, yeah, this. This works better than what I was planning originally.
[00:25:21] Speaker B: Your tent has every. Do you have anything not in the tent that is metal on you?
[00:25:28] Speaker A: Oh, anything not on the. Oh, not on the tent. On my body.
[00:25:33] Speaker B: On your person.
[00:25:35] Speaker A: Thanks. Oh, my God. I never specified how much I apologized. I wanted to say that on the podcast because I was embarrassed about how much I completely, completely misunderstood what on your person meant. I'm an idiot.
That was like, a whole discussion where I got super embarrassed later and apologized to Alex a thousand times, being like, I think that on your person, you can just. It says your weapons can be changed. So that's why technically, could have been carrying the.
What was it? The mace flail as a fishing pole. Anyway. Sorry, listeners. Sorry. I'm an idiot.
Okay.
[00:26:11] Speaker E: Oh, kicks a fisherman. I should leave all the weapons and armor and shields in the tent.
[00:26:18] Speaker A: Huh?
[00:26:18] Speaker B: Because it's a giveaway that he is so armed and armored.
[00:26:23] Speaker A: Yes. Right.
Did if there. If there is anything specific to Bathwack that I. I'm like, I know that he likes. That's why I was picking the sword. But I'd also put the shield in there.
Anything that's actually like, that. Bathwack has expressed concerned over losing before because the shield is some holy thing that we found somewhere. And the sword is important, too. I don't know. Roscoe has his sword staff, right? So, like, I'm trying to think of what Will knows, of what people actually use. He might be like, okay, this is special, and I'm putting it in my tent. So those things are the things that go in my tent. My money, people's special weapon things. Basically, Will doesn't want to leave anything that will allow us to kill the slivers that somebody could steal in this building all alone.
[00:27:05] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:27:06] Speaker A: He doesn't trust that, so.
And he has, like, some ring and I don't know, I have, like, yeah, anything. I probably keep all the stuff in my tent anyway. Do you need me to tell you what it is?
Just all these things that are metal.
[00:27:21] Speaker B: Anything in your inventory that's metal is in your tent.
[00:27:23] Speaker A: Will would never look like he's carrying a bag. Ever since he got this tent, he's completely looking amazing all the time because he's not carrying any bags. He has a necklace full of crap. It's perfect.
[00:27:34] Speaker C: Now, is it understood? Because Rafina's leaving her metal stuff in there, too.
Did you get that?
[00:27:40] Speaker A: Is any of it, like, something that I know Rafina would.
Well, so originally, I did this without Bathwack knowing. So, like, my goal is not to make everyone angry. And nobody asked me to do this. I was doing it originally for bathroom.
[00:27:54] Speaker B: Rafina saying she would put her stuff in your cup.
[00:27:55] Speaker A: But what is. What is there something that's in metal?
[00:27:57] Speaker C: Whenever I said I wanted to put my Mason.
[00:28:00] Speaker A: Oh, you're. Do you use. Yeah, you use them? Do you.
[00:28:03] Speaker C: I mean, I'm terrible at it, so I don't care if I lose it. That's why I'm just sort of like, here, take my mace. I don't care.
[00:28:09] Speaker A: Okay, if you don't care, I won't put it in. But what about your crossbow? Oh, wait, are you. Do you have your crossbow?
[00:28:14] Speaker C: Crossbow doesn't have any metal, I don't think.
[00:28:17] Speaker A: Okay, so you just have that?
[00:28:21] Speaker C: Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, I guess I have it. They didn't say, don't know weapons. They just said no metal.
[00:28:29] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay, so then I am. I. Then I'm not. It's just bathwack sword and shield, and I don't think there's anything of Roscoe's. I know. And Shimi can leave his pots in this thing. And, you know, I'm just, like, taking stock of the group stuff. Mo is knife.
[00:28:45] Speaker B: Keeps it in the place.
[00:28:46] Speaker A: If. Is it made of metal or stone or something?
It's not like, suit. I see it super valuable. There's other knives in here, presumably that he could take and maybe are even better than his knife. Do I think that. Is that my perception?
[00:29:00] Speaker B: Maybe.
[00:29:01] Speaker A: Maybe. All right, well, that's. Sorry, I don't want to drag this on. That's. That's just the gist of what I'm doing.
[00:29:05] Speaker B: Okay, cool.
All right.
So you guys do all that?
If you don't remember Listen back and. Yeah, so you all come out and Grgar's there. He says, so your friend Roscoe lafleur, he went with Ghiram. He's showing him. I'm sure you could catch up. They're right there. They're just reaching the clearing if you want to see if you can head on over.
[00:29:39] Speaker C: Okay, thank you kindly.
[00:29:41] Speaker B: As I said when you first arrived, welcome to Burngate.
[00:29:44] Speaker A: Coming. Gosh.
[00:29:45] Speaker E: Okay, are we. We are going in with Clock face, right?
[00:29:48] Speaker B: That's what it sounds like.
[00:29:50] Speaker E: Yep.
[00:29:50] Speaker B: Okay.
And there you go.
You go through the fence and everything.
[00:29:58] Speaker A: D and D session. This is.
[00:30:00] Speaker C: Sorry.
[00:30:01] Speaker A: You're like, I'm dead inside.
[00:30:03] Speaker B: Oh, that's great.
[00:30:06] Speaker A: So sorry.
[00:30:10] Speaker B: And yeah, you.
If you hustle, you can catch up with Ghiram and Roscoe as you. The road, it's like this little path heading through the grove. Pretty much a straight shot. You can see ahead, it opens up into a bit of a clearing. And the center of the clearing is dominated by this huge tree.
It's unique from the others in the grove in that the well one. It looks like it's almost made of, like three different trees, though it might be the same plant, same organism.
These three trunks that kind of twist around each other in kind of like this triple helix Y kind of shape.
The trunks are this light gray, almost silver color, whereas the rest of the. The trees in the grove are various shades of brown.
The top of it is still, though this riot of autumnal colors.
And within the center of these twisting trunks is a massive flame of red, orange and yellow. Very similar to the leaves above, though you kind of almost see, like, hints of purple in it as well.
[00:31:29] Speaker D: Cool.
Oh, hey, you guys couldn't wait for me?
Check out this big tree.
[00:31:36] Speaker C: This big flame.
[00:31:39] Speaker B: Yes, that's the flame of Bahamut, his eternal flame.
[00:31:43] Speaker A: What does that mean?
[00:31:45] Speaker B: What do you mean, what does it mean? It warms our village. It cooks our meals.
It protects our souls from the iniquities of this world.
[00:31:55] Speaker A: Will is looking in the holes, like, where did it come from?
Like, is there a bottom? Like, can we see anything?
[00:32:02] Speaker B: So the flame itself is kind of. It's like almost head height.
And the flame rises, it's about the height of a, like, I don't know, five or six feet tall. You feel the heat from it as you approach.
In terms of investigating where it's coming from. You'd have to get pretty close and kind of climb up in there, and that would be too high.
It would be very uncomfortable. Yeah. At the very minimum, you also Notice surrounding the tree at regular intervals.
Intervals are these stone plinths.
And the ones that you can see, it looks like they go all the way around. The tree is big enough. You can't really see the other side, but you can see maybe four or five from where you're standing. And they look to have the remains of various creatures upon them.
One per plinth in various stages of decomposition.
[00:33:14] Speaker A: Sweet.
Does it stink here?
[00:33:18] Speaker B: You give me a perception check. Whoever wants to smell the air.
[00:33:25] Speaker A: Oh, I so want to smell the dead animal air.
[00:33:27] Speaker E: Deep breath.
[00:33:32] Speaker D: Roscoe Would have been just a general perception check. Not just spell spell, but looking out for anything dangerous.
[00:33:41] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:33:44] Speaker C: What does Rafina have to do to figure out if this is like sacrifices or a barbecue?
[00:33:50] Speaker B: Roscoe.
[00:33:54] Speaker A: He'S figured out.
What are we playing jackbox?
[00:34:07] Speaker B: I'm Cookie Masterson.
Sorry, what? Rafina.
[00:34:16] Speaker C: I was wondering what Rafina kind of check Rafina would have to do to sort of determine is this.
Does this have a sacrifice sacrificial vibe?
[00:34:25] Speaker B: Yeah. Religion for sure.
[00:34:26] Speaker C: All right.
[00:34:41] Speaker B: Oh, you did it secretly, but Abby got an 11.
[00:34:44] Speaker C: How?
[00:34:45] Speaker B: At the top you can click GM.
[00:34:47] Speaker C: Oh, I must have accidentally done that.
[00:34:49] Speaker B: Y.
[00:34:52] Speaker C: So I wanted it to be private.
[00:34:55] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, sorry. Sorry, Abby. I'll keep that between us.
Abby. Abby rolls all of her religion checks privately with me.
[00:35:06] Speaker C: That's the only way the gods hear them.
[00:35:10] Speaker B: All right. So Will and bathwack, you don't actually really smell anything from these decomposing creatures. I mean, I don't know how close you're getting. The air in here smells like. It's like almost kind of like potpourri. It's like these pungent herbs smell, sort of filling the air. Lavenders and things like that.
Roscoe, you've got a natural 20 perception. You smell this herbal smell as well. You still do get a whiff underneath that of dead things.
Probably coming from these things on the plinths. You get the sense that you think probably the predominant nice smell is intentional to cover up the smell of these dead things.
You're also just looking around, trying to take in any danger.
You don't immediately see anything that is putting you or those around you at risk.
You see over, like, say if you're coming in to this clearing, it's roughly circular. If you came in from, say, 6 o' clock. If you look at it as a clock, there are two buildings at like 9, 10 o' clock, ish, kind of near each other. They look very similar.
One a little smaller than the other.
You see there is the smallest Structure is at about like one or two o' clock, tucked a little bit away from the clearing. This one is smaller than either of the two other buildings. It's surrounded by different containers of flowers surrounding the entire thing. And you don't see an obvious entrance to that building from where you're standing. Over to your right, at about three to four o' clock, you see a very large building, the biggest one you've seen, that immediately strikes you as some sort of like maybe a gathering hall or something like that. And then at like 5 o' clock ish, 4 to 5 o' clock ish, there is a small. It's almost like a half of a building.
There is an open doorway facing the clearing and it looks. Looks like there's a set of stairs that immediately go downwards into the earth.
Otherwise you hear a bubbling of water over to your left, maybe say, 7 o' clock ish or so on the circle of the clearing.
And you see, you can see kind of through the flames on the other side of the tree. You think there's someone over there doing something, you think maybe to the fire itself, but you can't really see specifically what's going on.
I think that's about. Oh, and you can tell from the remains of some of the animals on the plinths. You think that one of them was a snake.
You see the remains of a fox and a large bird, some kind of. Maybe like an eagle or something like that.
The rest are either too far away or too far decomposed to be able to tell much else.
[00:38:48] Speaker D: Are they cooking the meat?
[00:38:50] Speaker B: No, they are not cooking.
They're laid out on the plinths, sort of cut open and just sitting there.
If you'll come with me, we have our.
I like to call it our guest house over here next to our.
Our bunk house.
And he leads you over to the left side of the clearing. The first two buildings that I had described and the smaller one is the one that it looks like he's. He's heading towards.
[00:39:22] Speaker C: I guess we go. I go.
[00:39:27] Speaker E: Yeah, me too.
[00:39:28] Speaker C: Yeah. I'm not like, la da da. Rafina is very much like, you know, she did the religion check and didn't do great, but she's definitely suspicious.
[00:39:37] Speaker B: I didn't answer you on the religion, did I?
[00:39:39] Speaker C: No, I figured I just rolled so poorly that I didn't get any information.
[00:39:44] Speaker B: Just from the seemingly lack of purpose of these creatures. Like I said, they're not cooking or anything like that. And the fact that they're just allowed to sit there, decomposing in the center of everything.
And it looks like there are different types of animals. It's something intentional at the very least.
And it's around this flame that they're calling the Flame of Bahamut. So it's a pretty good guess that it's. It's something along those lines. You think, okay, so Garam gets to the.
What he called the guest house. And he opens.
There's a set of carved wooden doors in the front. And he leads you inside.
You're basically fully under the trees Once you're in these structures, the clearing itself. There's no buildings in the clearing. They're sort of surrounding the ring of the clearing. And the inside is darker than outside and relatively cool.
The guest house consists of, basically, it's three rows of five, what you seem to view as the soft pelt beds, beds made of animal pelts of various sizes and colors and shapes directly on the floor. There's no bed frame or anything like that going along with them.
And he says, please, we have no other guests at this time, so feel free to pick whatever bed you wish.
We have washrooms on either side. You can see there's these two small doors. You can utilize them as you'd wish.
We also have stacked up there against the rear wall, some low dividers. If you would like to afford yourself some privacy, feel free to distribute those and set them up as you will.
This isn't him. This is me.
The ceiling inside, it's a pretty high ceiling. It's like this kind of vaulted ceiling. There's windows all around. There's skylights above. So it's not uncomfortably dark in here. It's just dark in that. There's not a ton of sunlight that gets to this area because of the trees above, but it's plenty to see by.
And he says, I will certainly let you all settle here. Feel free to explore Burngate as you wish. There is no area that is off limits to you. I mean, of course, save the Dreamer's Den, but of course, I'm sure Grgar told you all about that.
[00:42:32] Speaker C: Dreamer's Den.
[00:42:34] Speaker B: Yes, the Dreamer. Oh, did he not tell you about the. He looks at all of you.
The Dreamer's Den.
[00:42:41] Speaker C: I don't remember. The Dreamer's Den.
[00:42:43] Speaker B: Oh, well, that's. And he goes to the door, and he points across the clearing at the structure, kind of set back with no obvious door. The one with the flowers all around it, that's the Dreamer's Den.
The dreamer, he dreams his dreams within. And aside from being invited, that is Someplace that no one is allowed to go, visitors or not.
[00:43:15] Speaker A: This feels like Midsommar. I love it.
[00:43:17] Speaker E: Who invites people to the dreamer?
[00:43:22] Speaker B: Invites can be delivered in a number of ways. It's unexpected.
Some say it's the dreamer himself who delivers the invitations, but it's. It's hard to say. I.
I myself have never been in the. The. The dreamer's den. I. I mean, I've spent. What is it?
I've been here for 22 autumns, so I've only heard of a few people entering the.
The dreamer's den.
[00:43:57] Speaker C: And how does the dreamer legislate? How does the dreamer send out the things that you have to do? Because he dreamed them.
Isn't he in charge?
[00:44:12] Speaker B: No, no, no.
He's just dreaming his dreams. The dreamer. I'm sorry. Usually the gate tender is the one to deliver this information. So it's not getting tripped up over my words a little bit. But the dreamer is living in two worlds at once.
Two realities at once.
He dreams his dream, he sleeps his sleep, and his den is his.
And if you are granted audience with.
With the dreamer, that can mean many things.
Some visit the dreamer and do not remember.
Some dream with the dreamer.
Oftentimes, those who visit the dreamer become the dreamer.
[00:45:09] Speaker D: Whoa.
[00:45:11] Speaker C: So it's a title?
It's not one person?
[00:45:15] Speaker B: Oh, there is a.
[00:45:15] Speaker C: It gets passed on.
[00:45:19] Speaker B: It can. Yes.
There have been multiple dreamers at certain points, so that is rare.
Typically, there is a dreamer here.
[00:45:29] Speaker C: But how do you know when someone gets to be chosen? Can you tell? They have like a cloud over their head or something?
[00:45:35] Speaker B: It is just known.
[00:45:36] Speaker D: Whoa.
[00:45:38] Speaker E: Gera.
[00:45:40] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:45:42] Speaker E: How do you know?
[00:45:46] Speaker B: How do it?
Trust me, if. If someone is invited to.
To visit the dreamer, you. You will know as well as I do. I can't explain it any better than that. It's. It's beyond explanation.
[00:46:02] Speaker E: How do you know you won't be invited soon?
[00:46:05] Speaker B: You may be. You may be invited in the next second.
Everybody waits.
[00:46:11] Speaker C: Nope, he wasn't.
[00:46:12] Speaker E: Who does the inviting?
The invitations probably come from all places.
[00:46:19] Speaker B: Perhaps. Again, some people say it's the dreamer himself.
Others say it is the will of Bahamut that is impressed upon our very consciousness.
Some say it has always been known and will always be known. And whenever the time is, the knowing is just.
Just accepted by all.
It's not for me to define. I don't think it's for any of us to define, really.
[00:46:48] Speaker E: Do you have to sleep to dream?
[00:46:51] Speaker B: That's a great question.
I personally would say I do not need to sleep to Dream, though it may facilitate the dreaming.
Anyway, yeah, you can go anywhere. Just don't go in the dreamer's den.
I'll be in the ice house if you need me.
That's the one over there.
[00:47:17] Speaker A: What do people do here?
What should we do?
[00:47:23] Speaker E: If it was up to me, Gyram, I would invite you to the dreamer's den.
[00:47:30] Speaker C: Wow, suggestive.
[00:47:31] Speaker B: Yeah, I.
[00:47:35] Speaker C: I'm uncomfortable with this interaction.
[00:47:40] Speaker B: I don't know about to get kicked.
[00:47:42] Speaker D: Out of burn gate.
[00:47:44] Speaker B: I'm trying so hard quite how to internalize that.
I might have a response to that. If I. If I.
If I dream of one, I will tell you.
[00:47:57] Speaker A: Whoa.
[00:47:59] Speaker C: Do you know the current dreamer? Did you know the current dreamer before he or she was the dreamer? Do you know their previous existence?
[00:48:09] Speaker B: I never actually got a chance to meet the dreamer. The dreamer has been dreaming, actually for just a short time.
It's been a span of maybe, oh, gosh, a fortnight or two at most.
They were a traveler such as yourself, actually, that came to visit us.
[00:48:33] Speaker A: And you didn't meet this person?
[00:48:35] Speaker B: I did not, no.
They were called to dream almost immediately after arriving.
So I had heard.
[00:48:46] Speaker E: Gyram.
[00:48:48] Speaker B: Yes?
[00:48:49] Speaker E: You're dreaming.
[00:48:54] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:48:57] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:49:02] Speaker B: But there will be.
We will have a midday repast, of course, in the midst of the week of flame. We are, in our own way, fasting, though we do supply ourselves with the appropriate sustenance. And you can feel free to partake with us if you wish.
Someone will come to.
[00:49:22] Speaker C: Will you be eating the animals on the flints?
[00:49:25] Speaker B: Oh, no, no, no, no. Those are for Bahamut to consume in time.
No, we will meet in the meeting hall. That is where we take our meals and have, appropriately enough, our meetings and daily prayers.
When it is time, we will. We will find you. We.
We won't leave you in the dark.
Here at Burngate.
[00:49:55] Speaker D: Rasko wants to check to see if he is indeed awake and not dreaming because Bathwack is saying weird ass shit.
[00:50:09] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:50:09] Speaker D: And Roscoe is like, what the fuck is happening?
And it started to feel Dr. Like. So Roscoe would like to, like, check with. With himself.
Like, am I awake right now?
[00:50:21] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:50:21] Speaker D: Am I dreaming?
[00:50:22] Speaker B: Got it.
Let me see.
What can I have you roll a pinch check? Pinch check.
So how about.
[00:50:38] Speaker D: I mean, it feels like a. Like a wisdom thing.
[00:50:41] Speaker B: I want you to roll me an insight check and a deception check.
[00:50:52] Speaker C: Deception check.
[00:50:54] Speaker D: Deception.
[00:50:54] Speaker B: You're basically rolling insight against yourself.
[00:50:58] Speaker C: Oh, cool.
[00:51:05] Speaker B: So we got a natural one. Deception. Gotta roll one. Gotta play a sound for that.
Abby, pick a number between one through eight.
[00:51:15] Speaker C: Seven.
[00:51:22] Speaker B: And an 18. Insight, Roscoe.
Okay, you haven't slept in a long time.
You.
As a result.
[00:51:50] Speaker A: It'S time for some Roscoe lore. I see Eric. He has this little, like, little thing on his nose.
Yeah, he's just annoyed. He's just.
[00:52:03] Speaker B: This has got to be good.
You're looking around.
The dappled sunlight is filtering through the skylights above. You turn your face up. You close your eyes. You see it sort of inside of your eyelids.
You try to touch something around you.
You reach out. You maybe brush Moe's arm.
You grip your quarter staff tight.
You open your eyes.
You see this room around you just as you imagine it when you closed your eyes. There is, in fact, mo standing there right next to you.
And you realize that this world you're in is real and those around you are dreaming you.
And we're gonna find out what happens next time on Pork Fried Dice.
Wow.
[00:53:13] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:53:14] Speaker D: Wow. This is what you get Alex for having Bath like trogirum.
Weird, bizarre dream.
Whoa.
[00:53:24] Speaker A: Is he really trolling him, though?
[00:53:26] Speaker D: I felt like it. But also, thank you because it left the moment. I don't know what's going on.
[00:53:34] Speaker E: B is having his own issues with reality right now.
[00:53:38] Speaker A: Okay, okay.
[00:53:40] Speaker D: Bath isn't trolling Gyrem.
[00:53:43] Speaker B: He's.
[00:53:43] Speaker D: He's having his own issues.
[00:53:47] Speaker B: I mean, aren't you all?
[00:53:49] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:53:50] Speaker D: Yeah, I guess.
[00:53:52] Speaker B: And aren't your characters.
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