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Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hey.
[00:00:01] Speaker B: Hey.
[00:00:01] Speaker A: I said hi first. Oh, no, that never happens.
[00:00:04] Speaker B: That does never happen.
[00:00:05] Speaker A: Yeah, that does never happen, either doing these things or in real life.
[00:00:09] Speaker B: I think that's true. Like, I'm usually the one. Hey.
[00:00:13] Speaker A: Or second.
[00:00:13] Speaker B: Or third.
[00:00:14] Speaker A: Or fourth or tenth.
[00:00:15] Speaker B: You just sleep.
[00:00:17] Speaker A: No, I just.
In the shadows. I do sleep first. Sleep first. I wake first.
I eat first.
[00:00:26] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, guys. What? Why do we do this? It's 30 seconds in.
[00:00:31] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:00:32] Speaker B: We were just coming on here to try to think.
[00:00:35] Speaker A: We get paid by the word.
[00:00:37] Speaker B: Well, here we go.
We would love today, on this day, the first today. June. It is the first of June. The month is June 2025.
[00:00:49] Speaker A: 2,225. Let's repeat once more. 2225.
[00:00:53] Speaker B: Wait, did you say 2000, 225?
[00:00:56] Speaker A: No. Wait, what did I say? I said 2000, 225. Yes, I did.
[00:01:02] Speaker B: That's weird. We've gone 200 years into the future. We've come back to.
[00:01:05] Speaker A: Oops.
[00:01:06] Speaker B: Eric didn't even realize. That's amazing.
[00:01:08] Speaker A: I was just trying to throw an extra word. I threw in an extra number.
[00:01:12] Speaker B: You had threw in an extra 200 years. We're here to say thank you to our slug lords and knights without whom we would be depressed. You know what I'm saying? And we just finished a session.
We just finished a session. So our brain power is limited. We've made $25 million at this point from the amount of words we've used.
[00:01:35] Speaker A: That's right.
[00:01:36] Speaker B: In this recording.
But we wanted to thank a few people just for their support.
We're going to just make a little. What's that kind of poem? What's that called? That's. That was my idea. An acrostic? Is that what it's called?
[00:01:49] Speaker A: Maybe it's also a type of puzzle, but I think that's what it comes from when you use the. Oh, no, no. It's all good.
[00:01:54] Speaker B: Okay, well, let's go. Whatever. Eric said the kind of poem where you start. You just have a word or. Well, we're not doing a full sentence. We're just. Or, I mean, you have to. About our.
[00:02:03] Speaker A: You got the letters in a word or a phrase, and then each line.
[00:02:07] Speaker B: And we're not even gonna.
[00:02:08] Speaker A: Begins with one.
[00:02:09] Speaker B: We're just gonna keep going. We're not even gonna stop. In between each one, you're gonna fig for you.
[00:02:15] Speaker A: And we're not going to say them out loud.
[00:02:17] Speaker B: We're not going to. We're just going to say the words.
[00:02:19] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:02:21] Speaker B: You good with that? Eric's like, are we going to be able to do this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I'll say one, then you say one, then I say one, then you say one.
[00:02:26] Speaker A: Cool.
[00:02:27] Speaker B: So we would like to thank Beautiful.
[00:02:32] Speaker A: Energetic.
[00:02:37] Speaker B: I already can't think of words.
Ticklish.
[00:02:43] Speaker A: Hot.
[00:02:46] Speaker B: Opalescent.
[00:02:47] Speaker A: Pearlescent.
[00:02:50] Speaker B: Orange.
[00:02:52] Speaker A: Overly generous. That's one word.
[00:02:57] Speaker B: Pretty.
[00:02:59] Speaker A: Intelligent.
[00:03:01] Speaker B: My. Everything, but minus the Y. I mean the my, not the why.
[00:03:07] Speaker A: Guys, we're magnificent.
[00:03:11] Speaker B: Adventurous.
[00:03:13] Speaker A: Remarkable.
[00:03:15] Speaker B: Kick ass.
[00:03:17] Speaker A: Just perfect.
[00:03:19] Speaker B: Exceptional.
[00:03:21] Speaker A: Super.
[00:03:22] Speaker B: Sensational.
[00:03:23] Speaker A: Over the top.
[00:03:25] Speaker B: Nice.
[00:03:26] Speaker A: Miraculous.
Has a little clue.
[00:03:32] Speaker C: Ooh.
[00:03:34] Speaker A: Nice.
[00:03:37] Speaker B: Terrific.
[00:03:39] Speaker A: Yes siree.
[00:03:43] Speaker B: Sexy.
[00:03:46] Speaker A: Adventurous.
[00:03:47] Speaker B: I already said that one before.
[00:03:50] Speaker A: Also adventurous.
[00:03:53] Speaker B: Va, va, va voom.
[00:03:56] Speaker A: Worldwise.
[00:04:00] Speaker B: Ass. Don't quit as one word.
[00:04:02] Speaker A: Fair.
[00:04:06] Speaker C: A.
[00:04:07] Speaker A: All right, what did that start with?
[00:04:10] Speaker B: Started with an A.
[00:04:11] Speaker A: Okay, good. Just to make sure.
Did you say incredible? No. Incredible.
[00:04:20] Speaker B: Ridiculously awesome.
[00:04:25] Speaker A: Sweet.
[00:04:27] Speaker B: God, why do I always get the T's?
Tubular.
[00:04:35] Speaker A: Exuberant.
Muscular.
[00:04:42] Speaker B: Perfection.
[00:04:44] Speaker A: Unknowable.
[00:04:48] Speaker B: Noodly.
[00:04:55] Speaker A: Killer.
[00:04:58] Speaker B: Overwhelming.
[00:05:02] Speaker A: Charitable.
[00:05:06] Speaker B: I get every T.
Triumphant.
[00:05:16] Speaker A: Triumphant. That's good.
Off the wall.
[00:05:25] Speaker B: Press wit.
[00:05:27] Speaker A: Nobody's gonna know what that means.
[00:05:29] Speaker B: It started with a B. That's a personal thing that me and Eric say.
[00:05:36] Speaker A: Uber.
[00:05:40] Speaker B: Super califragilistic. Exp. Alidocious. High five. We did it.
[00:05:45] Speaker A: Thank you.
[00:05:45] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:05:46] Speaker A: Let's repeat their name.
[00:05:48] Speaker B: Can you imagine if we could recreate that?
[00:05:50] Speaker A: We'd be genius.
[00:05:52] Speaker B: There's no way. I wouldn't. I won't even remember the first one.
[00:05:55] Speaker D: Boomberry. Boomberry. Boomberry.
[00:05:58] Speaker A: You're listening to the show about backup despair. It's pork fried dice.
I'm Eric and I'm the dungeon master.
[00:06:08] Speaker E: I'm Abby and I play Rafina.
[00:06:11] Speaker A: I'm Alex and I play Batwack.
[00:06:14] Speaker B: I'm KT and I play Will.
[00:06:18] Speaker F: I'm Adam and I play Roscoe.
[00:06:23] Speaker A: Hold on to your haversacks. Let's roll.
[00:06:29] Speaker E: All right, I'm gonna take you to see supes.
[00:06:31] Speaker B: Eric, you need to see soupsicle. I'll go Soup sickle.
That's good.
[00:06:40] Speaker E: That's good. I know Adam really wants us to hear.
[00:06:43] Speaker B: I am so excited. I've been thinking. I literally, while all this was happening, I was like, we better be able to play D and D because I really don't want to have them not.
[00:06:50] Speaker A: I want to hear Adam. No, no, no, no. Why did it do that?
Shut up.
[00:06:55] Speaker E: He didn't play the sound.
[00:06:56] Speaker B: What?
[00:06:56] Speaker A: Don't worry.
[00:06:57] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Wait. If I know that note, I know what that song is, and I love that song, but it might not be. Maybe it's Sufi and Stevens and I don't know the song, but I'm excited.
[00:07:07] Speaker A: Maybe it's from Soups.
[00:07:09] Speaker B: It's from Seuss.
[00:07:14] Speaker F: I'm gonna drop the lyrics after the song starts. I'll drop the lyrics in the damn top and.
[00:07:20] Speaker B: Oh, Cat, can you put them in.
[00:07:24] Speaker A: The chat for this recording so we can still see you guys?
[00:07:27] Speaker F: Is that easier?
[00:07:28] Speaker E: Yeah, that would actually be nice.
[00:07:30] Speaker F: All right, I'll do that.
[00:07:33] Speaker A: All right.
Are you ready, Adam?
[00:07:39] Speaker F: I am.
[00:07:40] Speaker A: Okay.
Previously on Pork Fried Dice.
[00:07:48] Speaker B: Yes.
Oh my God. Love.
[00:07:58] Speaker C: When I was a young boy, Will pomp young gave a big lecture to me on the way to Gully's end.
He said, you're too young a pup to travel and constantly be joking. You'd be safer if you scrammed.
He said, will you please wear them my flight boots? And don't be reckless either.
Lest underground you're laid.
I said, hey, Will your worries I get em but I'm not dumb or dumber. You'll be glad someday I stay.
[00:08:47] Speaker E: Oh my God.
[00:08:49] Speaker C: Later Will, he ran into a half orc guy in an autumnal grove who said welcome to burn gay.
[00:09:00] Speaker B: Yes.
So great.
[00:09:15] Speaker C: Before that, by the way, Bathwaff was doing something kinda shady that risk changing our old way.
He said, hey Z Trust, what's up? Help me beat these slivers that have woken Then this land will co command.
[00:09:44] Speaker B: Oh my God.
[00:09:56] Speaker C: Sometimes when I am stealing Will's rooting just for me and other times he tells me I should go true when I say nah. Rafina he'll call. Who always so offbeat says something about an armadillo Will pump beyond Will pump, pumping on Although you never say you love me, your true meaning will carry on we'll pion.
You want some breakfast? I will cook it. You eat and don't complain it swirly man sent you reeling from all your hopes and dreams now misery and hate are your downfall.
[00:10:44] Speaker B: Oh my God.
[00:10:45] Speaker C: So cut me some slack and don't look back? You friends are all right here with you until the end for the long haul. We'll party on, we'll party on?
Although you never say you love me, your true meaning will carry on we'll party on when you see, say please just don't be stupid. Your true love overarching Meanwhile there's a fungus shedding tears. Where's your home? A miconid who misses all its peers asks Roscoe maybe just baby it's good to care after all. Sure I could die that doesn't faze me because this quest for me Is a brand new start. I must deny, but that will break me. I'm here to stay. I'm gonna play my part. I won't complain. We're a team, aren't we? My eye was maimed. That just means a cool scar. Here's the cause for all my joking. I was dead before. Now I am a rock star. Yet a man, but still a hero. Not just a boy, the strongest boy in the world. Yet a man, but still a hero. You do care.
Will pump beyond.
Will pump beyond.
Although you never say you love me. Your true meaning will carry on.
We'll pump beyond.
When you say please just don't be stupid. Your true love over urges us. Sure I could die, but that doesn't phase me. Because this quest for me is a brand new start. I lost an eye, but that won't break me. I'm here to stay.
[00:12:35] Speaker F: I'm gonna play my part.
[00:12:37] Speaker C: Sure, I could die. That doesn't phase me. Because this quest for me is a brand new start. I lost an eye, but that won't break me. I was dead before, now I'm a fucking.
[00:13:05] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:13:09] Speaker E: Epic.
[00:13:10] Speaker B: I love she me so much. That is amazing. That, like, that literally just made me understand him more. Like. Oh, my God. Like the.
[00:13:21] Speaker E: The depth. The depth.
[00:13:22] Speaker B: I was dead before, now I'm a fucking stuff star. I could die. That doesn't faze me. This. That's Adam. That's brilliant.
[00:13:30] Speaker E: Holy NPCs too. It just made me realize the depth. With that, our NPCs bring to the game.
[00:13:37] Speaker B: How sweet. How funny and sweet and powerful. Holy Shimi. Oh, my God. Eric's gonna kill Shimi one day, I'm telling you. And the I'm. You better. Oh, my God. You better not, like, decapitate him. If you do that, it's the. I'll kick you in the nuts, I swear to God. That's all you.
[00:13:55] Speaker F: Obviously, I'll defer to. I'll defer to Eric on the. On the canon interiority of shading.
[00:14:03] Speaker A: Sounds accurate to me.
[00:14:04] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:14:05] Speaker E: No, it totally rings true.
[00:14:07] Speaker A: Right?
[00:14:07] Speaker E: Like, I mean, I haven't thought about it, but it. It does. It totally makes sense, right?
[00:14:11] Speaker B: It fits. Dead before, now I'm a rock star.
[00:14:14] Speaker F: Like, are you funny?
[00:14:15] Speaker B: I originally the strongest boy in the world. Adam.
[00:14:19] Speaker F: That was like.
Yeah, I. I kn.
Writing and I was like, oh, this is good.
[00:14:25] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh.
That's ins. And can I also say it was pretty epic because I love that song. To hear Will Pompeon sung today.
[00:14:36] Speaker F: Oh, my God, when I. When I discovered that that was the perfect fit for the chorus, I was like, this is kismet. This is, like, this is meant to be.
[00:14:45] Speaker B: Oh, my.
[00:14:46] Speaker F: And all because. All because, like, the central. The central kind of the core of last session was that conversation between the two of you. And when I think about songs about, like, a young person, like, a conversation with somebody older than them, this comes to mind. And it just is perfect that, like, it's welcome to the Black Parade. And if a session ended with welcome to Burn Gate, I was like, oh, this is. This is. Yeah, this works.
[00:15:08] Speaker B: This works. I want to okay this. This is, like, the end. Like, I have to fucking, like, get these together and put, like, an album out. Like, we have to do that. That's so good.
That makes me mad that we don't have, like, a million listeners. That is qual. That is such quality. Like, that's insane. That's so good.
Oh, my God. Oh, God. I want more people to hear it. Holy.
[00:15:37] Speaker F: Yeah. I've been sitting on that for two weeks. I was like, oh, I want to play hard.
And I knew. I was like, why were they. I was like, oh, Katie's gonna love this.
[00:15:47] Speaker B: I kept holding my breath. Like, I kept. There were so many moments. I was just, like, completely without breath. That was so fucking great. Can I also say, like, the crazy thing is, Reese, I don't even. Why did I start doing this? I was trying to remind myself of some. Oh, it's because we've been talking about, like, we should just, like, make a CD or what? Not a cd. That's not how things work anymore. But make an album. Make an eight track. And I was trying to look back at the earliest time that we started to, like, routinely recap, and I was like, so many of them didn't have music, but, like, we've come so far. Like, I can't even.
This is. I mean, they're all amazing. All of them are epically awesome. But, like, this is like, you had said.
[00:16:32] Speaker A: Didn't you say that Abby was the one that really.
[00:16:34] Speaker B: I think Abby is the one that really started, like, escalating, by the way.
[00:16:41] Speaker E: You were singing long before me.
[00:16:42] Speaker B: It's true. But you started making these awesome. Like, you did the harmony. You had the. The idea to, like, do different tracks and, like, harmonize. And you used your accordion, like, for one of the very first recorded ones. It's like you playing the accordion and then. And then. And then Alex doing the.
The amazing Unforgiven.
Metallica.
[00:17:02] Speaker E: Metallica. That really was Incredible.
[00:17:04] Speaker B: Even though it was in a home star voice, it was just.
[00:17:06] Speaker F: I. You know what's funny? Like, I.
I originally I was going to try to sing it in a shamy voice.
[00:17:14] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:17:16] Speaker F: And then I was like. I was like. I was like, no, that's too much. This was like, I had to do this with, like, my. I had to record this again. There was another, like, screaming and, like.
[00:17:25] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:17:26] Speaker F: And I had to turn off my ac.
[00:17:28] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:17:29] Speaker F: And I was, like, recording different takes. I was exhausted and, like, so sweaty.
[00:17:32] Speaker B: I don't know.
[00:17:33] Speaker F: That's like. I was like, I do not. I am not gonna sing this in a shimmy voice because I feel like it would just be distracting. Like, it's not about the voice. It's about the emotional.
[00:17:43] Speaker B: Yes. Oh, but it would have been. It would have been funny. But this is so perfect. It's perfect.
So perfect.
[00:17:50] Speaker F: When I was a young boy.
[00:17:53] Speaker B: But then, like, change it in the middle of it and be like, that sometimes happens.
It wouldn't have mattered if it was accurate or not.
[00:18:03] Speaker A: Yep. Cause it would have been.
[00:18:04] Speaker B: Because it would have been. Exactly.
[00:18:06] Speaker F: That's true. That's true.
[00:18:08] Speaker A: Do you. Do you feel more freedom with your new living situation in terms of recording these kind of things? Because I remember you, like, talking about, like, having to, like, fake scream.
[00:18:20] Speaker F: Yeah. So I was like. I did this while Serena was out of town.
[00:18:25] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:18:25] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:18:26] Speaker F: I told her, like, because I. I recorded this, like, the Monday after our last.
Our last session. And, like, she was. She was leaving for a work trip that night, and I. I told her, like, after you leave, I'm recording this recap.
Welcome to the Black Parade.
And I was explaining there because I was all excited. I was jazz. I was like, this is what I'm doing tonight. And then she's like, oh, cool. And I was just trying to explain to her, like, I was like, yeah. Because we take turns to the recaps. Last session, like. Like, yeah, the last session. Like, there's this, like, Will Pompeon and, like, shimmy. And, like, let me. From Jimmy's perspective. And, like. And then I found out, I discovered that, like, Will Pompeon, like, the course will carry on. Like, Will Pompon thinks it fits it perfectly and, like, actually, like. And while I was writing it, like, I got goosebumps because, like, there are moments of it, like, are genuinely, I think, like, really touching and, like, sweet, and I'm so excited. She was, like, cool.
[00:19:18] Speaker A: And you realize she's slowly trying to put a shock collar on you.
[00:19:26] Speaker B: Oh, poor Adam.
No, it's so funny. It's so weird to try to explain anything with DND in real life to anyone who. Especially if they don't know, like, what DND is. But, like, this is a whole other level. It's like a podcast and a recap that's a song. Like, what are you talking about? Like. But yeah, it's. It's so great. Oh, my gosh.
[00:19:45] Speaker A: Do they do that in Stranger Things? I never saw that.
[00:19:52] Speaker C: Holy.
[00:19:53] Speaker B: Yes. I hope they do that next time.
[00:19:56] Speaker A: They should. They've been working on it long enough. They need to.
[00:19:58] Speaker B: Yeah. The final season, they start to do some song recaps.
[00:20:03] Speaker A: Vecna, Right?
[00:20:04] Speaker B: Yeah. That was weird. Yeah.
[00:20:05] Speaker F: I would say my last two recaps have been, like, will centric. I need to. Because the last one was the Killers.
[00:20:12] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:20:12] Speaker B: Somebody told Will that his ex boyfriend was also nar's boyfriend.
Right.
So funny.
[00:20:22] Speaker A: Abby, did you know that song?
[00:20:24] Speaker E: Oh, of course I did.
[00:20:25] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:20:25] Speaker E: I knew it was Chemical Romance and I didn't have to look it up.
[00:20:29] Speaker B: I knew from the first note. When you sport, you spoiled. Yes.
[00:20:32] Speaker F: I was like, oh, my God.
[00:20:33] Speaker B: I know that.
[00:20:35] Speaker F: That's actually kind of perfect because, like, that is a meme of a note.
[00:20:39] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:20:40] Speaker E: Oh, totally.
[00:20:42] Speaker F: Like, I was. I was reading about the song, and, like. Like, Andrew Lloyd Weber once tweeted, like. Like, if I. Like, what do you think when I play? When you hear this note?
[00:20:51] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:20:51] Speaker F: And, like, he was referencing this song.
[00:20:54] Speaker B: Turn it off. But he can't. Sorry, sorry. I wanted to just play the one. Andrew Lloyd Weber said that about this.
[00:20:59] Speaker A: Did you say about your recap?
[00:21:01] Speaker F: Yeah.
[00:21:01] Speaker B: No.
[00:21:02] Speaker F: Yeah.
[00:21:05] Speaker B: I just saw Eric panic, and my brain went to what he said. I would love to. That's so interesting. No, it's okay. You were trying to not be rude to Adam, but in doing so, I was rude to Adam because I didn't get to hear what he was saying.
[00:21:16] Speaker F: Yeah, it was on Twitter.
It's one. Yeah. It's a video of Andrew Lloyd Webber at the piano. He says it's one thing to create an iconic set of chords. It's another to make one note iconic. And he tagged My Chemical Romance. And he's at the piano and he plays that note.
[00:21:32] Speaker B: Yes.
Oh, my God.
[00:21:35] Speaker A: I'm thinking this may take a place on my soundboard once I crop it.
[00:21:44] Speaker B: Was it a note for something?
[00:21:47] Speaker F: You would use that for something? Yeah. Yeah.
[00:21:49] Speaker A: It's when she.
[00:21:50] Speaker B: Me gets a natural 20.
[00:21:51] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:21:52] Speaker F: No. Every time. Every time. There's an emotional connection between two characters.
[00:21:58] Speaker B: Oh, My God.
[00:22:01] Speaker E: Better than cloving.
[00:22:02] Speaker B: It'll get abused so quickly. Eric will be like, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. When it's like Will and Bathwack arguing.
[00:22:12] Speaker F: I also. I did. I was pleased with the meter of the armadillo line. Says something about an armadillo.
[00:22:19] Speaker E: I think that's the only thing I haven't said anything about.
I love it.
[00:22:23] Speaker B: I love it.
[00:22:24] Speaker F: Yay.
Glad you guys liked it.
[00:22:27] Speaker B: So good. Thank you.
[00:22:28] Speaker E: All right. That was fun. Good night, everyone.
[00:22:34] Speaker A: I meant to play the outro song. I must have gotten rid of that. That used to be where it was.
[00:22:38] Speaker B: Oh, no.
[00:22:38] Speaker A: Oh, no, it's there.
[00:22:40] Speaker E: There it is.
[00:22:41] Speaker A: But that's the old outro, right?
[00:22:43] Speaker B: Oh, I don't know.
I don't.
[00:22:47] Speaker A: Didn't you tell me that? Or did I fix it and put the right one? I don't know. Whatever.
[00:22:51] Speaker B: Whatever it does. Welcome to Burn Gate.
[00:22:54] Speaker A: Welcome to Bird Gate.
All right.
[00:22:57] Speaker E: To Burn Gate.
[00:22:58] Speaker A: So it's been a little while.
[00:23:00] Speaker B: The microphone by your mouth, it keeps sliding back.
[00:23:02] Speaker A: It's because this.
[00:23:03] Speaker B: Okay, well, then fix your body.
[00:23:05] Speaker A: I cannot. This is the body that the good Lord gave me.
[00:23:10] Speaker B: Aw.
[00:23:11] Speaker A: And I've done nothing to defile it, I swear.
[00:23:15] Speaker B: What the fuck?
I know.
[00:23:19] Speaker A: No tattoos, no piercings.
I'm good.
I don't like shellfish.
Three for three.
[00:23:29] Speaker E: I wear mixed fibers.
[00:23:31] Speaker A: Yeah.
I never.
[00:23:33] Speaker F: Come on. The.
[00:23:37] Speaker B: Hell, yeah.
[00:23:39] Speaker A: Always make sure there's a nice layer of leaves.
Or mosses and lichen.
What?
[00:23:47] Speaker B: The ground says. Thanks.
[00:23:49] Speaker A: Mosses and lichen.
[00:23:51] Speaker E: All right, so we haven't checked any of our sound levels, and we have not heard one word.
[00:23:57] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:23:58] Speaker E: Out of Alex here.
[00:24:00] Speaker B: That's true.
[00:24:01] Speaker D: 1.
[00:24:02] Speaker B: Oh, there we go. There's a word.
[00:24:04] Speaker E: Okay, good.
[00:24:05] Speaker F: When you think about it, isn't it weird that the.
The phrase one word is actually two words?
[00:24:15] Speaker B: I never thought about? That's. So there should be a word for one word.
[00:24:20] Speaker A: Uni word.
[00:24:23] Speaker B: Uni word.
[00:24:24] Speaker A: Uni word.
[00:24:25] Speaker B: Uni word.
It doesn't work. Don't do that.
[00:24:30] Speaker F: And the phrase three words only has two words.
[00:24:38] Speaker A: And the phrase one million words only has three.
[00:24:43] Speaker F: It keeps on going.
[00:24:44] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
We gotta peel back the layers here. We gotta uncover who's doing this to us.
[00:24:50] Speaker F: This, more than anything, convinces me that reality is a simulation.
Glitching, glitching away. Oh, my God.
Unacceptable.
[00:25:02] Speaker B: Yeah, well, come up with the new words for it.
We got to come up with the.
[00:25:06] Speaker A: New words for all this.
[00:25:07] Speaker B: I did.
[00:25:07] Speaker A: Uni word.
[00:25:08] Speaker B: No, uniword was stupid. We got to think of stupid.
[00:25:10] Speaker A: Someone think Of a word for 1 million words. That means 1 million. That is.
[00:25:15] Speaker F: That is 1 million words long.
[00:25:23] Speaker B: What?
[00:25:27] Speaker F: Word.
[00:25:27] Speaker D: Word. Word.
[00:25:31] Speaker F: I feel like I broke language tonight.
[00:25:33] Speaker B: I think it's perfect.
[00:25:34] Speaker E: It's broken.
[00:25:35] Speaker A: Really did it.
[00:25:35] Speaker B: We always break language on this.
[00:25:38] Speaker F: If Pontypool happens in real life.
[00:25:40] Speaker B: Oh, this.
[00:25:41] Speaker F: It's because of me just now.
[00:25:42] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:25:43] Speaker F: I started it.
[00:25:44] Speaker B: Oh, no. We're all gonna die. Yes. We're all gonna die. That crowd witnessed it.
God. Pontu. Pontoo pool is what I was just about to say. I want to watch Pontypool again.
Because you've only seen it once now, right? You watched it with Adam and me, and that was it.
We gotta watch it again. I don't know.
[00:26:02] Speaker A: Have you seen it more?
[00:26:03] Speaker B: Yes, babe. Are you kidding?
[00:26:04] Speaker A: You knew it before?
[00:26:05] Speaker B: Yes, I knew Ponto had seen it before. Yes.
Really, babe? Yes.
Are you.
[00:26:12] Speaker F: I remember. I. I feel like. I remember that while we were, like, when we watched it, like, you were. I'm sure you were, like, excited to re. Watch it.
[00:26:20] Speaker B: Yes, I definitely had seen.
[00:26:22] Speaker A: I believe you, but I don't.
[00:26:23] Speaker B: It's on many movies, like.
Because there was definitely a time where. Well, there's. It's still that time. There's too many movies and not all of them are great and so. And also there was so much saturation in society. But I still liking movies. Was trying to find a list of, like, Good Adjacent or How old is that movie?
[00:26:43] Speaker A: We bleeped out the type of movie Pontypool is just in case anyone hasn't seen it. Although it's almost 20 years old. Just in case any of you haven't seen it and want to highly recommend.
[00:26:55] Speaker F: I don't know, it's like 2007 or 8.
[00:26:59] Speaker B: Play Little Black. Yeah, I definitely didn't see it that long ago, but yeah, for sure.
[00:27:03] Speaker A: I accept that your reality.
[00:27:06] Speaker B: Okay, Weirdo.
[00:27:08] Speaker F: I will say, though, that I will always insist that it's best for anybody to go into that movie not knowing.
[00:27:16] Speaker B: Agree.
[00:27:16] Speaker F: So you should cut around this.
[00:27:19] Speaker B: I'm sorry. Burn Gate. Go ahead.
[00:27:20] Speaker A: Shut up. Okay, kt Shut up.
[00:27:26] Speaker B: That's mean.
[00:27:28] Speaker F: He's being kind of sexy, though. He's being all fortative.
[00:27:31] Speaker A: Shut up.
[00:27:34] Speaker B: What is this? Zip it.
[00:27:36] Speaker C: What the fuck?
[00:27:36] Speaker A: Is that sexy? When I say zip it and go like this with my hand.
Adam, be quiet.
[00:27:54] Speaker B: No, you gotta put on hall of the Mountain King.
[00:27:57] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
[00:28:00] Speaker F: That made it into the wiki, didn't it?
[00:28:02] Speaker B: Did it?
[00:28:03] Speaker A: Wait, what? I don't remember.
[00:28:05] Speaker B: You don't remember that?
[00:28:06] Speaker A: No. What?
[00:28:07] Speaker B: Don't tell Eric.
[00:28:09] Speaker E: It was like I did the Mozart recap.
[00:28:13] Speaker F: Do me a favor, Eric. Do a search in the Pork Fridays wiki right now for in the hall of the Mountain.
[00:28:18] Speaker A: Okay.
Wiki.
When I click wiki, the default that pops up is my page for Eric, that's like the save. Like Chrome knows that's where I want to go.
You want to go the hall of the Mountain King.
[00:28:35] Speaker F: All, like, D and D terms, one.
[00:28:37] Speaker A: Free back rub king.
The Henley Regatta scene from 2010. Social Network featuring Trent Reznor.
[00:28:50] Speaker F: So I guess it just links to that.
[00:28:53] Speaker A: And then there's the recap song.
What?
[00:28:56] Speaker F: Yeah, but I guess. Okay, so the wiki page does not explain what. Why that is a reference, thankfully. That's good.
[00:29:06] Speaker B: Thankfully. Wait a second.
Why should I have that everywhere?
[00:29:11] Speaker E: It was from a game of music of. What's it called?
[00:29:16] Speaker F: Oh, of Music League.
[00:29:17] Speaker E: Yeah, that's how it came up.
[00:29:18] Speaker B: Right?
[00:29:18] Speaker F: It was a category category. Songs to. To.
[00:29:21] Speaker B: It was not our music league. He was telling us a story with other friends, and I.
[00:29:27] Speaker A: You picked that one.
[00:29:29] Speaker B: I haven't seen the podcast twice. Again.
[00:29:32] Speaker A: Keep it.
[00:29:34] Speaker B: Keep it re explaining it just in case anyone missed it.
[00:29:37] Speaker A: Yeah, someone made a jumped in between now and then.
[00:29:40] Speaker B: But you did you hear the story? Do you remember the story now?
[00:29:44] Speaker A: Is there more than that?
[00:29:47] Speaker F: That I removed a lot from the.
[00:29:49] Speaker B: Podcast too, because it was a little graphic, wasn't it?
[00:29:52] Speaker A: You specifically.
Wasn't it bottoming to that song?
[00:29:56] Speaker F: Yeah.
[00:29:58] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:30:00] Speaker F: Yeah.
[00:30:01] Speaker B: Eric's so thoughtful about trying to just.
[00:30:03] Speaker A: Rack my brain for any more details.
[00:30:06] Speaker B: No, it was funny to hear that part.
[00:30:09] Speaker A: Was there a carpet of leaves and. Or moss and lichen under you?
[00:30:14] Speaker F: I don't come on the ground, Eric.
[00:30:16] Speaker B: Wow. Good job, guys.
[00:30:17] Speaker F: I haven't defiled my body.
[00:30:18] Speaker A: That's right, guys.
We're the body of Gaia.
[00:30:24] Speaker F: Yeah, I guess we are. It's a lot of pressure.
[00:30:28] Speaker D: I like the quote that's in this episode.
It's metagaming for me to tell people about my hit points. Right, Says Abby. Eric, you could tell them how you're looking. It can be expressed in those kinds of ways. Yes, Abby. There's a bruise on one third of my body.
[00:30:48] Speaker F: So cute.
[00:30:49] Speaker A: Oh, my God, that reminds me. I'm just tangenting because. Whatever. We're not gonna start. But in Gloomhaven, there is an initiative system where you have to decide what initiative number you're going at, but you can't tell the people you're with. It's a cooperative game. It's anywhere between 1 and 99. It has to do with what cards you're playing, and you reveal them at the same time when you start a round and you're not allowed to refer to anything you're playing on your cards and numbers, but you could be like, I'm going kind of fast or kind of slow. And I saw online someone had made just completely for a joke more than anything, completely avoiding the rule in a silly way by. They made a chart for every single number and a chart of words, and then they split off into different sections. Like there's, you know, there's fast and slow is the first half or the second half, and then within that there's fast, fast or slow. Fast or fast, slow or slow, slow, fast, fast down to each. Each one.
[00:31:54] Speaker B: That's great.
[00:31:56] Speaker A: Thanks. Thank you. Thank you all.
[00:31:58] Speaker D: Oh, it's wonderful. It's on Reddit.
[00:32:00] Speaker A: It's also.
[00:32:00] Speaker D: It's called the Asshole's Guide to Initiative.
[00:32:02] Speaker B: The Asshole's Guide.
[00:32:04] Speaker A: That's great.
[00:32:05] Speaker B: You should use that next time you play. Grand Gloom Heaven.
[00:32:09] Speaker A: It would have been yesterday if it weren't for power issues. All right, we're in Burngate, though. There's no power issues here.
[00:32:16] Speaker B: Oh, sweet.
[00:32:17] Speaker A: Yeah, that's right.
Welcome to Burngate, says the half orc as you ride up onto this autumnal grove. You had been traveling for many miles through this kind of.
Not barren, not desolate, but kind of getting that feeling right. It's this hazy day.
It's this scrubby sort of hilly land. Not much to see. You can't really see very far just due to the haze in the air.
If you recall, you rounded this final hilltop and this bright red, yellow, orange shock of color pierces your corneas and slams into your retinas.
[00:33:00] Speaker B: We're dead. Oh, no.
[00:33:02] Speaker A: Flies through your eye holes.
That's two of the five face holes, two of the seven head holes.
[00:33:11] Speaker B: There are eyeballs there, Abby.
[00:33:15] Speaker A: Your ears are not on your face.
They're not. They're just not. Listeners leave a five star review and agree with me that ears are not part of the face.
[00:33:29] Speaker F: Are ears part of the fix?
[00:33:31] Speaker A: It's on the wiki. Probably.
[00:33:32] Speaker E: Luna are at the gate.
[00:33:33] Speaker F: Top result. Yes. Ears are part of the face.
[00:33:37] Speaker A: Second result. Years are not part of the face.
The rest of the results, ears are not part of the face.
Google's in Abby's pocket. That's what I think.
[00:33:49] Speaker E: That's right.
[00:33:50] Speaker F: Yeah. They're totally paid off by Big Abby.
[00:33:55] Speaker B: Big Abby.
[00:33:59] Speaker A: Now. Now I want to write a mob movie. Mob movie with Abby as Big Abby as the dawn Big Abby.
[00:34:06] Speaker E: Oh, my gosh. I was made for that role. I was born for it.
[00:34:12] Speaker A: All right, so you rode up on into the this grove, and it looks like it's a small settlement nestled within this densely packed copse of trees.
You were greeted at the gate, so to speak. It's not a heavily defended settlement. There's just low wooden fences delineating the perimeter of the border.
And this male, half orc in a long orange tunic, emerged and greeted you with the iconic phrase, welcome to Burngate, that we've said at least five times tonight, each of us.
And he's smiling at all of you. And he says your travels must have been long.
That's often the case when those wandering the world are brought here to our gates.
Would you like to stay a while?
We are in the midst of our most sacred time of year, the Week of Flames. And we would be happy to have you as guests.
[00:35:23] Speaker E: Oh, shoot. We're supposed to answer.
[00:35:26] Speaker A: I was gonna play the outro music, but I couldn't get to it.
[00:35:31] Speaker E: What is the Week of Flame? I have many questions.
[00:35:35] Speaker A: Well, that's one.
It is.
[00:35:39] Speaker E: Does he write on a wall?
[00:35:43] Speaker A: It is the time when our grove is a riot. With this color you see above you, we celebrate in many different ways.
We honor our God, the mighty Bahamut, as his flame rages on in the center of our small settlement, as it always does.
What?
[00:36:05] Speaker B: Okay, I look at Bathuac. Or was that Gwen's thing? Who the fuck is Bahamut? I know that.
[00:36:11] Speaker A: Ask him.
[00:36:12] Speaker B: Do I have to roll?
[00:36:14] Speaker A: Probably not. You probably remember at this point.
[00:36:16] Speaker B: Was it Bathwack? Just help me out as a player. Ooh.
[00:36:19] Speaker D: I don't mean to be rude, but.
[00:36:21] Speaker A: Who'S Bahamut now, Will? Sure, it was Bathwack's thing.
[00:36:26] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:36:29] Speaker A: Oh. He is the king of all dragons.
His fire warms our village at night, cooks our food by day.
He protects us from the evils in this world that seek to pervade our very souls.
I'm surprised you haven't heard of him.
[00:36:50] Speaker B: Do you have any inns or anything of the sort?
[00:36:55] Speaker A: Oh, we have a place just for guests to rest, recuperate from their wearyful treks.
Yes, we have a place where you can find yourselves comfortable.
We will feed you. We will clothe you.
[00:37:10] Speaker D: Can we walk there and keep talking to you?
Can you show us your village?
[00:37:16] Speaker A: Well, I am the greeter here at the gate. That is my task for the day.
But I can certainly have someone show you to our guest.
Our.
I don't know what the guest Shack. Guest shed.
Guest shack is a little old place where.
[00:37:38] Speaker D: Our guest station.
[00:37:39] Speaker A: Our guest structure. Our guest.
Our guest lean to.
Guest pit. Oh, my God. Guest pit.
[00:37:49] Speaker F: That's really, really good.
Guest pit is.
[00:37:54] Speaker A: It's like a conversation pit.
[00:37:58] Speaker B: Very innocent.
Okay.
[00:38:01] Speaker E: Or an armpit.
[00:38:03] Speaker A: I feel like I kind of always wanted a house with a conversation pit.
[00:38:06] Speaker B: Oh, gosh. Yeah. They're so cool. They're so 70s.
[00:38:08] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:38:08] Speaker B: I would totally love that. Yes.
[00:38:10] Speaker D: Oh, is that. That's actually a thing?
[00:38:11] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:38:12] Speaker E: Like a sunken living room kind of.
[00:38:14] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:38:14] Speaker A: It's like there's literally.
[00:38:16] Speaker B: There's usually just a big.
[00:38:17] Speaker A: That's probably what it is.
[00:38:18] Speaker B: Couch in it. And it is a lowered down section of a room. Like, it can be in the middle of the floor. Like, there could be. And the couch tops are kind of like just above the floor. And the rest of it is just. It's a 70s thing. It's very 70s.
[00:38:33] Speaker D: But I would have my guest pit so deep that I need a ladder to climb out of, and then I'd want to fill it with beanbags.
[00:38:39] Speaker A: Yeah, well, then you wouldn't need a ladder.
[00:38:41] Speaker E: Whiteboard.
[00:38:42] Speaker B: Why don't you do that?
[00:38:43] Speaker D: No, no, no. You couldn't use the whiteboards. There are too many beanbags.
[00:38:47] Speaker E: You have to paint them in whiteboard paint.
[00:38:49] Speaker D: Are they like, paint the beanbags in whiteboard paint.
[00:38:52] Speaker A: Are the beanbags, like, cornhole sized and just full of those?
[00:38:57] Speaker D: Well, when I said it, I was thinking, like, balance ball sized. But cornhole sized would also be good listeners. Like a ball pit.
[00:39:07] Speaker A: A rare insight into Alex's personal life. He often, if not presently, sits on one of those balls that he just referenced while he plays dnd.
[00:39:18] Speaker B: That's too much. It's too much tmi.
[00:39:21] Speaker D: It might be true, folks.
[00:39:24] Speaker E: It might be.
[00:39:25] Speaker B: He won't even bounce for us, and you guys can't even see him. So I don't understand why he bounces.
[00:39:29] Speaker A: For us usually by the end of.
[00:39:30] Speaker B: The night right now. Look at him. Yeah, look at him. He's not even bouncing.
[00:39:33] Speaker D: That's because I'm not on a ball.
[00:39:34] Speaker E: Oh, it's true.
[00:39:36] Speaker D: I'll switch it at halftime.
[00:39:38] Speaker E: No, I'm gonna sit on the ball.
[00:39:40] Speaker D: We have three of them down here, so it's fine.
[00:39:42] Speaker E: Two, two, three is a lot.
[00:39:44] Speaker A: Big Abby's gonna sit on all of them.
[00:39:46] Speaker B: Big Abby.
[00:39:50] Speaker E: I'm so happy.
[00:39:54] Speaker B: I would just say, yeah.
Wait, what about can we walk and can you show us our village? And he said no. What did he say?
[00:40:00] Speaker A: No, he said he stays here, but he can bring. Have someone bring you to your place?
[00:40:07] Speaker B: I would say yes, please. We've tried. We have traveled a long way.
[00:40:10] Speaker A: Certainly though one.
[00:40:14] Speaker D: I'm sorry I interrupted kt. I wanted to make sure that, like. Because KT wanted to make sure that.
[00:40:19] Speaker B: Oh, that he's not a murderer.
[00:40:20] Speaker D: Will wanted to make sure that he's not a murderer.
[00:40:21] Speaker B: Yeah, like, I wanted to. Insight. This guy's creepy. Kind of like. Kind of culty talk situation.
[00:40:28] Speaker A: Kind of culty creepy talk?
[00:40:29] Speaker B: Well, like, think like, this is my task for the day.
[00:40:32] Speaker A: What the.
[00:40:32] Speaker B: You know what I mean. What a weirdo.
It's like a small village in like a medieval setting or something.
[00:40:37] Speaker A: It's almost like people have responsibilities they have to tend to in life.
[00:40:43] Speaker B: Task. This is my task for the day. It sounds like it was assigned to him. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. Maybe I'm predicting too many things.
[00:40:49] Speaker A: Are you rolling?
[00:40:50] Speaker B: What should I roll?
[00:40:51] Speaker A: You already said it. And I didn't disagree.
[00:40:53] Speaker B: But you didn't clarify. Okay, fine.
[00:40:55] Speaker A: Roll. Animal handling.
[00:40:57] Speaker B: Oh, no. 7. Insight. You guys, this place is so safe. This guy's my best friend.
[00:41:02] Speaker A: You're creeped out by this guy? A little bit.
[00:41:03] Speaker B: I'm creeped out by this, Yeah.
[00:41:04] Speaker A: A little bit.
[00:41:05] Speaker B: Oh, shit. Well, I think.
All right, I'll pack that into my. My role playing game in the future. I'm not gonna say anything. I still want to get out of the heat.
[00:41:13] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:41:14] Speaker B: I want to go sit. Yeah, the sun is somewhere not in the sun.
[00:41:18] Speaker D: So aside from Bahamut, the king of all dragons, do you have a.
Do you have a king of Burngate?
[00:41:29] Speaker A: Oh, no, no, no, no. I mean, of course we have our king of Gully's End. You know, King Bathwack.
From the way you came, I'm assuming you saw his statue atop our great cliff.
[00:41:48] Speaker D: Is he still the king here?
[00:41:52] Speaker A: I.
Yes, of course.
Do you have other news?
[00:41:57] Speaker D: Oh, I don't know.
We heard a rumor.
[00:42:00] Speaker A: Oh. I mean, we are quite far away from most of the.
The main routes of travel and thus information. What. What rumor did you hear?
[00:42:13] Speaker D: Well, we heard a rumor he might not be king anymore.
[00:42:17] Speaker A: Oh, my.
[00:42:18] Speaker D: But we don't know.
[00:42:21] Speaker F: Roscoe. Roscoe, Will, during all this, he's. He's in a low voice. He said, toshimi. Hey, hey.
[00:42:29] Speaker A: Yeah. What?
[00:42:32] Speaker F: How about this?
[00:42:33] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:42:33] Speaker F: Twist it.
Bop it.
Bahama.
[00:42:40] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
[00:42:41] Speaker A: Right?
Yeah, it's just like a little saying, like. Like a. It could be like a prayer.
[00:42:51] Speaker B: Now.
[00:42:51] Speaker F: I was doing a thing.
I thought it might be funny.
[00:42:55] Speaker A: All right, well, I Think you gotta try a little bit harder than that.
[00:43:04] Speaker F: I, I, I, I.
[00:43:06] Speaker B: The record.
[00:43:06] Speaker F: I'm just recreating a joke I made years ago. I remember.
[00:43:10] Speaker B: You remember?
I was like, he's doing it.
[00:43:14] Speaker F: That's so. It's so stupid in goats and dragons. But over there, it was twisted. Bop. It beheld.
[00:43:20] Speaker B: Yes. Yes, it was.
[00:43:23] Speaker F: I had to do it again.
All right, sorry, guys. We keep playing.
[00:43:28] Speaker A: Did they. Did they enjoy it way more over there?
[00:43:30] Speaker F: I forget.
[00:43:31] Speaker B: I don't think nobody ever laughed. That was one of my.
[00:43:33] Speaker A: Oh, period.
[00:43:35] Speaker B: I was like, adam so hard at all your jokes.
[00:43:41] Speaker A: And it turns out you don't laugh either.
[00:43:43] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't. It sucks. The joke sucks.
[00:43:51] Speaker A: I need to remember I have that one.
[00:43:52] Speaker B: I love that dumb joke. I love that Shimi somehow avoided it. I don't. I guess I would have thought Shimi would have played with a bop.
[00:44:00] Speaker A: It seems like his parents didn't let him.
[00:44:03] Speaker F: I think if Shimi knew about the recap song that I wrote, he would be nicer to Roscoe right now. That's all I'm saying.
[00:44:11] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:44:12] Speaker F: If he knew about it, there's no way for him to know, though.
[00:44:16] Speaker A: No, there is not.
All of Adam's recap songs are canon in our world. Only some of them.
[00:44:25] Speaker F: You could tell him.
[00:44:26] Speaker A: I could. Hey, Shimi.
[00:44:28] Speaker F: Walt.
[00:44:29] Speaker A: Yeah. Just real quick, Adam, he wrote a recap song, and it was about you. What he did.
Oh, my God. Was it flattering?
Yeah, I think so. It kind of, like, gave people, like, an insight into your. Your sort of inner. Inner world, really, like, your. Your perspective on the world and. Wow. How does he know all that about me? I think he kind of inferred it, but, I mean, I guess that's a sign of, you know, just how good of a role player I am. Oh, man. Yeah, you are really good. I've always said that I've been, like, tried to solve the puzzle that is you as a DM and just you as a person, and it just always comes around to you're just great at what you do. Aw, thanks, Shibi. All right, I'm gonna get back to this.
You know, just keep on doing what you're doing. Oh, man. You too. All right. She me.
[00:45:21] Speaker B: It's kt. I'm married to Eric.
[00:45:23] Speaker A: Yeah, I know.
[00:45:23] Speaker B: I feel. I felt so guilty over the past couple weeks of, like, not letting Will say that he loves you. You just, you know, I.
[00:45:30] Speaker A: You feel, like, less guilty about. You heard this song?
[00:45:33] Speaker B: Yeah, I do. Thanks, Adam. Thank you.
[00:45:36] Speaker A: Yeah, thanks, Adam. Thanks, Adam.
Right Bye.
[00:45:43] Speaker B: Was that a mind sliver or was it real?
[00:45:47] Speaker F: Did we get mind sliver?
[00:45:48] Speaker B: Yeah. What happened? Are we mind slivered right now? Oh, no. Eric's pretending like it didn't even happen.
[00:45:52] Speaker A: What's mine? Mind sliver?
[00:45:54] Speaker B: Oh, no. He's has amnesia about the whole world now.
[00:45:56] Speaker A: Oh, that.
[00:45:57] Speaker E: Oh, no.
[00:45:57] Speaker A: Yeah, well, you always. You. You call these things slivers because of Ian, maybe.
[00:46:03] Speaker B: Yeah, I think he's the one that explained it.
[00:46:06] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:46:07] Speaker B: Yeah, man.
[00:46:08] Speaker A: Yeah. Slivers, man.
So.
[00:46:13] Speaker B: Twisted pit, Bahamut.
[00:46:19] Speaker A: Yes. So I. I would be happy to. To bring someone here to show you around our humble settlement and show you where you may hang your hat for as long as you wish.
[00:46:32] Speaker D: First, before we go.
[00:46:35] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:46:36] Speaker D: I'm Kik.
That's Rafina.
That's Will.
[00:46:42] Speaker B: That's not my name.
[00:46:44] Speaker D: That's not Will. I'm sorry, Will. Will you look over there?
I meant.
And then I introduce everybody.
[00:46:54] Speaker B: You're like, oh, no, what if I get another name?
[00:46:56] Speaker D: I introduced them all correctly. It's canon.
I follow the usual social protocols perfectly.
[00:47:05] Speaker B: Oh, good.
[00:47:05] Speaker A: Good job, Alex. You did a real good one there.
[00:47:09] Speaker B: You can still hear us. Oh, be careful. She mean, Eric's gonna kill you. She j.
[00:47:16] Speaker A: No, it's all right. Oh, Jamie, listen to Will.
[00:47:20] Speaker E: Don't go near the werewolves.
[00:47:22] Speaker B: Don't go near any werewolves. Bathwack will kill you.
[00:47:25] Speaker A: Oh, come on. I heard you guys, like, threw the chopped off heads at people and all kinds of. You just like, up those werewolves.
[00:47:33] Speaker B: Yeah, there was like, all right, she me. You got to get back in the game. Go back in the game so we can play what the is happening tonight?
[00:47:41] Speaker F: I've created a monster.
[00:47:43] Speaker B: Yes. Yes.
[00:47:45] Speaker A: Hello, everyone. I. I neglected to introduce myself as well. I've always been a little awkward when it comes to introduction. Sorry about that. My name is Girgar. Girgar Theo.
I am the host.
Yes.
[00:47:59] Speaker B: What Girgar Theo. I say to her, this is Abby. Okay.
[00:48:05] Speaker E: Abby would not like to know a spelling. I apologize.
[00:48:08] Speaker A: Oh, it's all right, Abby. I'll tell you how it's spelled. It's G U R. G A R space, T H E O.
[00:48:17] Speaker F: Why is she me telling Abby?
[00:48:20] Speaker A: What, do you have a problem with that, Adam?
[00:48:22] Speaker B: Oh, no.
[00:48:24] Speaker A: I thought we were good.
[00:48:26] Speaker E: Oh, I thought it was Grgar girgar Theo.
[00:48:28] Speaker A: I mean, it's up to you how you want to pronounce it.
[00:48:32] Speaker B: Oh, okay.
[00:48:32] Speaker E: It's less complicated than I thought.
[00:48:35] Speaker A: That's why he said Grgar girgar Theo.
Like James Bond. James Bond, but not Garathio Girgar. Theo Girgarhio.
[00:48:44] Speaker B: Yes, exactly. He's right.
[00:48:46] Speaker E: Rafina's. Oh, why haven't Armadillo named that.
[00:48:54] Speaker B: Girgarhio?
[00:48:59] Speaker A: And yes, I'll bring Gyram over here.
He can show you around.
But first. And he gestures to the beads draped around Valencio's neck.
Isn't he beaded?
[00:49:13] Speaker B: Yes, he does have some.
They're like leather cords with colorful beads on them.
[00:49:18] Speaker A: Okay, I have to ask, and apologies if this is forward of me, but are any of these decorations you have on you, are they metal?
[00:49:30] Speaker B: No, not my beads. But what would.
[00:49:33] Speaker A: Well, we. We do not allow metal in our. In our village. So if any of you would have any metal on your person, I would please ask that you.
[00:49:43] Speaker B: Oh, shit.
[00:49:45] Speaker A: We have a storage pit here.
No.
[00:49:53] Speaker D: Next to our comfort pit. And our guest, the drinking pit.
[00:50:00] Speaker B: Hole.
[00:50:02] Speaker D: I said pissing hole.
[00:50:04] Speaker B: I've got to look at my stuff.
[00:50:08] Speaker A: If you would, please, we can store it here safely for you. We keep it under lock and key and so.
[00:50:17] Speaker F: Wait, are the keys wooden?
[00:50:19] Speaker A: No, the key is metal. But the key stays here, outside of our town.
[00:50:24] Speaker B: What happens if the key crosses the like? Can we not take our key with us?
[00:50:29] Speaker A: If the key is metal, we keep the key. We keep your. Your goods safe.
[00:50:34] Speaker B: Hmm. That seems a little funny, don't you think?
[00:50:38] Speaker A: No, I don't.
[00:50:38] Speaker B: Not to cause you. Not to call you untrustworthy, but it's kind of funny that you would expect us to lock our goods and will is like, trying to be very even.
[00:50:48] Speaker A: Just. We just believe. We believe that many of the evils and travesties in this world stem from metal and things made of it.
[00:51:01] Speaker F: Roscoe has traveled a lot.
Does this seem like something that is kind of like normal? Like he's run into this before?
No, absolutely not. He's never heard of this.
[00:51:14] Speaker A: I mean, you've heard of people saying you can't have weapons, things like that, but just blanket. Like a substance?
No.
It's not a common custom that you've encountered.
I mean, and we find that many people when they. They leave, they. They find themselves unburdened by these. These.
[00:51:39] Speaker B: Or.
[00:51:40] Speaker D: Or.
[00:51:42] Speaker B: Or money, Says Will.
Says Valencio. Because coin, I mean, that's part of it.
[00:51:48] Speaker A: Oh, yes. Any metal coins, that as well.
But we do. There is nothing. In our village. We provide whatever you wish freely. We do not accept or require currency or anything of the sort. So you will find no need of it here. At Burn.
[00:52:06] Speaker B: Here. How do you sustain that?
[00:52:09] Speaker D: How do you keep safe?
[00:52:12] Speaker A: We have ways to defend ourselves. You do not need metal to do so.
[00:52:18] Speaker B: How do you afford to support every traveler that comes through without accepting any money?
[00:52:25] Speaker A: We are a self sustaining community here. We do not see many visitors.
You are one of the largest groups I have. I have encountered in recent memory.
[00:52:35] Speaker D: Do you ever have problems with your visitors?
[00:52:38] Speaker A: Oh, no.
[00:52:38] Speaker D: Is that why this started?
[00:52:40] Speaker A: Not at all.
Many of us come from different places in the world. And ever since I can remember, that has been a tenet of our community here at Burngate.
[00:52:57] Speaker B: What's the largest scrubby bush nearby?
Do I see. Is there nothing around that could obscure something? Because I do have. Wait, is my Pompeian necklace metal?
[00:53:12] Speaker A: Your locket?
[00:53:13] Speaker B: Yeah. No, my pumpkin thing that turns into a.
A tent.
[00:53:18] Speaker A: I don't remember.
Honestly.
[00:53:22] Speaker F: I don't remember.
[00:53:23] Speaker B: I think it's definitely wood and leather.
I'm just kidding. Probably if it's something we would like of something, it would have to be metal on it. I don't know.
[00:53:31] Speaker F: Wait, well, Rudy is a rutabaga.
[00:53:34] Speaker B: Yeah. Okay.
[00:53:36] Speaker E: What's the chain though?
[00:53:37] Speaker B: It's a. Yeah, I don't know what the chain is.
Well, because I will say out of character that I'm like, okay, Will would want to put his stuff in his magical tent and could offer that to other people and still take the necklace in. Potentially.
Potentially.
[00:53:55] Speaker F: This is. Eric, you realize this is going to be the entire session is us with this that you pose to our characters.
[00:54:05] Speaker B: Yeah, that's what happens.
[00:54:07] Speaker A: I mean, if you need some time to decide if that's acceptable to you, I understand.
The world is full of these kind of items and many people find themselves dependent on them in some way, shape or form.
[00:54:23] Speaker D: This can be like in our blood.
No, I'm just kidding.
[00:54:28] Speaker B: Bathdock's a scientist.
He knows there's iron in there. In them bloods.
[00:54:34] Speaker D: Did Bahamut tell you to do this?
[00:54:38] Speaker A: Oh, I've never spoken to Bahamut. I cannot imagine that.
I can't. I think if I were to hear Bahamut's voice, my very consciousness may melt into ecstasy.
No, that's just. It's just been one of our beliefs here at Burn Gate.
[00:54:59] Speaker D: Don't you hear him in your prayers?
[00:55:03] Speaker A: No. I mean, I pray to Bahamut, certainly. I do not ever even consider asking for a response.
[00:55:18] Speaker B: Okay, is there a bush nearby? Like how big. Is there any cover at all nearby?
[00:55:25] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, it's not just a barren plain.
Sure.
There's a will shaped bush. There's a tent shaped bush over there.
[00:55:40] Speaker B: Like how weird was it? Like, this is the only little civilization with it. There's just nothing else. Like, it's gonna be very obvious if I go behind a bush.
[00:55:50] Speaker A: I mean, if you all would like, there's some privacy bushes over there you could go behind and.
[00:55:56] Speaker B: Privacy bushes.
[00:55:57] Speaker A: Discuss.
[00:55:58] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
Cause I just. I have so much shit.
[00:56:04] Speaker D: Will you give us a private place to store our items?
[00:56:07] Speaker A: As I said? Yes. We have this.
We call it, almost ironically, our armory.
Here, Look. And he goes over. There's this small wooden structure to the left of the road outside the gate.
He pulls a key from around his neck and unlocks it. And he opens it up, and it's just full of shelves. And there's lots of stuff in there. You can see, you see some weapons, some armor.
[00:56:39] Speaker D: This doesn't look very private. There are other things in here.
[00:56:44] Speaker E: Those from the guests that never left?
[00:56:47] Speaker A: No. Many people, as I said, fell, felt themselves unburdened by the. The weight of these items after spending time here and chose to leave them behind.
[00:56:56] Speaker E: I wasn't listening. I was trying to look at my inventory.
[00:57:05] Speaker D: Well, I'll wait for him to leave and then I'll get rid of most metal things, if not all of them.
[00:57:12] Speaker B: So is the structure tall enough to hide my tent?
[00:57:14] Speaker A: Yeah, sure.
[00:57:15] Speaker B: Oh, sh. Sw. Sweet. I'll message everybody and be like, I could try to get things went through my tent.
[00:57:24] Speaker A: Yeah, if you would like. I mean, if you ask for a private space, I will certainly leave you be. If you'd like to, you know, if you have things that you don't wish to be seen by strangers such as myself, take all the time you need. And he.
[00:57:39] Speaker D: Yes, leave us, please.
[00:57:41] Speaker A: And he goes back. There's a. There's a larger structure on the other side of the road. And he goes in there.
[00:57:48] Speaker B: He goes into a bigger tent on the other side, I don't think. Okay, is there any money here? Will's looking. Are there any money sacks or like, what. What is in here?
[00:57:59] Speaker A: Roll investigation without looking.
[00:58:02] Speaker B: Like, I'm just trying to look through this stuff.
[00:58:04] Speaker D: Like, you just take it all?
[00:58:05] Speaker B: Yeah. I'm like, okay, well, I'll just take this money and go.
Would you say an insight.
[00:58:11] Speaker A: Nice visitor, no investigation.
[00:58:13] Speaker B: Yeah, thanks. Burn gate.
A10.
[00:58:19] Speaker A: A10.
Mostly you see sort of larger things in here. You actually see, like, a mess kit with, like, a pan and pot and utensils.
You see lots of different things like daggers and knives and things along those lines. You do see some larger swords and such. Like I said, you see some armor.
There's a Trowel.
And, yeah, you're looking around. You do see a couple assorted piles of coins. Nothing significant that you see.
[00:58:57] Speaker B: Huh. Okay. All right.
[00:59:02] Speaker D: Well, look at Will.
[00:59:07] Speaker B: I wonder how many people live here. How many people can you fight at once without a weapon?
[00:59:13] Speaker D: I don't. I don't want to leave my long sword here.
[00:59:16] Speaker B: Okay. So I can set up the tent behind this weird thing. Thing. If somebody else provides a distraction, maybe just to make sure or, like, somebody else is looking around, just make sure they don't see me. Put in a tent and try to get it through the gate. I don't really want to be bothered by law enforcement or whatever the fuck happens here right away.
[00:59:38] Speaker A: I will also remind. Just make sure everybody's on the same page.
Bathwick is disguised as Kick.
[00:59:44] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:59:44] Speaker A: And I'm pretty sure all of his weapons are obscured. Correct.
[00:59:49] Speaker B: I'm just.
[00:59:49] Speaker D: That's what I was going for. I was gonna carry them in.
[00:59:52] Speaker B: Oh, man. I wonder if there's, like, a spell.
[00:59:54] Speaker D: I was gonna carry at least one in.
[00:59:56] Speaker B: I'm just worried that we might, like, things might set off a detector.
That's just my concern.
[01:00:03] Speaker D: I want to try it out.
[01:00:04] Speaker B: Cool. Sounds great. Okay. Batwack. Do you say that to me?
[01:00:07] Speaker D: No.
[01:00:08] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean.
[01:00:09] Speaker D: So I'll bring the flail.
[01:00:11] Speaker B: Well. Oh, gosh. Batwack. So here's. Here's the thing, buddy.
Like. Like, literally, if bathroom. He's huge, and I'm standing right next to him, and he's talking about his weapons, and there's a million weapons right here, and I don't use weapons, and I never touch them, really, so.
Hey, Kick, the thing is, if we set off an alarm with something obscured under your disguise, then the disguise will probably be no more. If these people have actually ways of defending themselves, which they implied. I don't know what that means. Are they able to fight us with their bodies or magic or something? So we need to think about this.
[01:00:52] Speaker D: All right, then. Then I'll. I'll leave it here. But let's.
Let's test it and come back later.
[01:00:58] Speaker E: Okay.
[01:00:58] Speaker D: Bring a coin.
[01:00:59] Speaker B: Yes. See that? Yes. That's what. Yes. Good test. Good test. Why don't you go over there with a coin and test it out?
[01:01:05] Speaker D: I'll bring my one last gold piece. I have one gold piece.
[01:01:09] Speaker A: I seriously have one gold.
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