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Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hey, all you sexy people looking for sexy times.
[00:00:03] Speaker B: Did you know that if you support Pork Fried Dice on KO Fi, you can get access to exclusive secret behind the scenes goodies and art?
[00:00:13] Speaker A: Just head over to tinyurl.com supportpfd plus.
[00:00:18] Speaker B: If you support us, Bathwack will kiss you right on the lips.
[00:00:32] Speaker A: You're listening to the show about two eels in a room. It's Pork Fried Dice.
I'm Eric and I'm the Dungeon Master.
[00:00:43] Speaker C: I'm Abby and I play Rafina.
[00:00:46] Speaker D: I'm Alex and I play Bat Black.
[00:00:49] Speaker B: I'm KT and I play Will.
[00:00:52] Speaker E: I'm Adam and I play Roscoe.
[00:00:58] Speaker A: Hold on to your haversacks. Let's roll.
[00:01:03] Speaker C: Okay, I really am ready. And I can hear you guys completely now.
[00:01:14] Speaker A: Go. You don't like it?
[00:01:15] Speaker C: Go, go.
[00:01:17] Speaker B: Oh, okay.
[00:01:19] Speaker C: Oh, Are we ready?
[00:01:21] Speaker B: I don't know.
I feel like it's just been a long day, don't you? Yeah, it has been a long day. We're. I'm just like, hi, guys.
[00:01:32] Speaker E: Check it out.
[00:01:32] Speaker C: Nice sticker.
I love it.
[00:01:36] Speaker E: To adorn my. My new water bottle, I finally got a Pork Fred Dice and helpful goat stickers right next to each other there.
[00:01:44] Speaker C: That's so cute.
[00:01:45] Speaker A: And we're on top.
[00:01:48] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, on top.
[00:01:50] Speaker E: You're fucking a goat.
[00:01:53] Speaker B: Oh, no.
[00:01:54] Speaker A: Oh, I got rid of my goat sound. Oh, well, you got.
[00:01:56] Speaker C: Wait, really?
[00:01:57] Speaker B: You use that a lot. Wow.
[00:02:00] Speaker C: Do you have a limited amount of space for sounds?
[00:02:02] Speaker A: Kind of.
[00:02:04] Speaker C: That's so weird.
[00:02:05] Speaker A: It's based on the keyboard.
[00:02:07] Speaker E: Yeah, he's only got so much volume for volume.
[00:02:09] Speaker A: You guys have never seen what my soundboard looks like. Here, I'll show you.
[00:02:13] Speaker C: It's an actual sound board.
[00:02:15] Speaker A: It's digital. Hey, it won't let me share it.
[00:02:20] Speaker E: Show non video participants.
[00:02:23] Speaker C: That's what I've got to do too.
[00:02:24] Speaker D: Oh, whoops. Wait a minute. I have to do that.
[00:02:27] Speaker C: It. Oh, it doesn't give you.
[00:02:29] Speaker B: Yes, I have seen, but I have not. Read this. This is all new.
[00:02:33] Speaker A: I don't necessarily.
[00:02:34] Speaker E: Wow.
[00:02:34] Speaker A: Read it all.
[00:02:35] Speaker B: Okay, well, then you better close it, millionaires.
[00:02:38] Speaker D: What do you do when you have to. I mean, you can only type words that have the number seven in them and the letter U.
Oh, you can do F U 7.
What do you do when you want to type something?
[00:02:55] Speaker E: The soundboard is not the same as his keyboard.
[00:03:00] Speaker A: I use my keyboard to play the sound, but when I'm not, when this window is not active, I have to do option command and then the letter.
[00:03:10] Speaker E: What's the mustard sound?
[00:03:13] Speaker A: Oh, you've heard it before, I think. Wait, where. Where is it? Is it m. Yeah. You have a really big goblin mustard, right?
[00:03:21] Speaker E: What?
[00:03:22] Speaker B: Mustard, Right. You've played this tonight there from big. Yes.
[00:03:26] Speaker E: I thought it was going to be like a squirting sound.
Alex. Boomberry. We've got p. That's good.
[00:03:36] Speaker D: What is that? What is the slash?
[00:03:39] Speaker C: Gory sword.
[00:03:40] Speaker E: Crickets. Oh, gory sword.
[00:03:43] Speaker C: You kept gory sword and not. And you got rid of the goat.
[00:03:46] Speaker A: Added gory sword.
[00:03:47] Speaker E: You got rid of goat and added gory sword.
[00:03:51] Speaker C: Bo.
Oh, I see my recap on the tab.
[00:03:55] Speaker A: Yeah, there it is. Ready to go.
[00:03:58] Speaker B: Good thing it's not seems far away or quiet muffled in some way in.
[00:04:04] Speaker C: My microphone right now.
[00:04:05] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:04:06] Speaker D: Yeah, it's turned up. I mean, I can turn.
[00:04:10] Speaker C: Do you want me to do something? I can't do anything on my end. I can't.
[00:04:13] Speaker D: Can you please?
[00:04:19] Speaker E: All right, Eric, you can take it away. I'm done.
[00:04:21] Speaker A: I just did.
[00:04:23] Speaker D: Oh, I. Oh.
[00:04:27] Speaker C: You should have taken a screenshot.
[00:04:30] Speaker E: Yeah, take a picture. It'll last longer.
[00:04:36] Speaker A: Previously on Pork Fried Dice.
[00:04:47] Speaker C: The captain's keys are being tried in every keyhole on the ship in Roscoe's fist. Then finally, Roscoe finds and heals with balm in Sean's room together.
If we could see the scene of Batwack's dream. A headless goblin on the throne. New goalie king whose laughter is drowned out by princess and the queen. They're screaming together.
I can't see us getting ourselves off this boat with all our lives.
Will we walk a plank or be thanked for our help and get high five.
The thrashing wooden crate its fate. They note some feathers and a beak. And so they sneak the micronid and owl bear away from there. They're rescued together.
That's when Roscoe says, you've got a little bat Thwack on your face.
Time to hide your turtly dragonborn self away. They raise Shimmy and Rafina. Raphina and Shimmy. Their statements aren't going well. We'll cast the spell distracting Judge Malvolio. Away we go to Sean's room together.
Clock face solo.
But before they go, clever Roscoe, determined to disguise the hole now in the wall, designs a poster of Rafina Haworth style with come hither smile.
Nothing could go wrong.
Oh, here comes the captain.
He pulls off the poster at the station. Who did this to my ship?
We're showing displeasure.
We're in this together.
[00:07:20] Speaker B: How is the weather.
[00:07:24] Speaker C: Up schit creek together?
[00:07:33] Speaker B: Yay. Oh, my God.
[00:07:36] Speaker C: Should I put it in down? I should put it in damn. Top in.
[00:07:39] Speaker B: That was amazing.
I love that song so much. That was so delightful.
[00:07:45] Speaker C: Oh, my God, Adam's face. When I got to the poster part.
[00:07:51] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:07:52] Speaker D: I love the clock face solo.
[00:07:54] Speaker C: That was my favorite part.
[00:07:55] Speaker B: That was so great. Oh, my God.
[00:07:58] Speaker A: I think Adam was jealous he didn't.
[00:07:59] Speaker B: Think of that first clock face.
[00:08:03] Speaker E: Well, yeah. I mean, it's such a bold use of lyrical real estate.
[00:08:09] Speaker B: Well, that's because they just.
[00:08:10] Speaker E: La, la, la, la.
I mean, there would have been silly to try to do anything else. Yeah.
[00:08:17] Speaker B: Great.
[00:08:17] Speaker C: And I thought that I got a remarkable amount of information into like, heck.
[00:08:22] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:08:23] Speaker C: So I was. I was like, I'm gonna just. I'm gonna.
[00:08:25] Speaker A: I think the shared notes thing was a genius idea, which I used not.
[00:08:32] Speaker C: At all this week, but, yes, I.
[00:08:34] Speaker E: You really did.
[00:08:35] Speaker B: How did you remember all of that? Holy.
[00:08:37] Speaker C: Well, you saw my notes.
[00:08:40] Speaker B: I didn't even look at any 500 fonts.
[00:08:42] Speaker E: It looked like a fucking ransom.
[00:08:44] Speaker B: Oh, yes. Oh, that one. Yes, yes. It was so weird on my phone. Like, the lines weren't even lining up into a sentence. They were like half of it was down there.
[00:08:52] Speaker A: Was it trying to figure out what font you were writing in?
[00:08:55] Speaker B: That's. Yes.
[00:08:57] Speaker C: It took the handwriting. This was Google Drive trying to do it.
[00:09:01] Speaker E: It is really impressive that you made that recap out of you. Just your notes, which feature, and I quote, maybe I look like PA fisherman feels het plop on his head, looks down and sees boring pants. Maybe they approaches massive figures, starts laughing, maybe familiar and stands.
[00:09:23] Speaker C: Do you have a problem with my notes?
[00:09:25] Speaker E: No, I'm saying it's really impressive.
[00:09:27] Speaker A: Which version did you go off of, Abby? Your handwritten ones or the transcribed ones?
[00:09:31] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, my handwritten.
[00:09:32] Speaker A: Okay. Well, there you go.
[00:09:33] Speaker B: Well, there you go.
[00:09:35] Speaker E: Yeah, that explains it.
[00:09:36] Speaker C: That explains it.
There you go. Did I forget anything crude that I should have highlighted?
[00:09:48] Speaker F: I don't think so.
[00:09:50] Speaker B: I don't think so either.
[00:09:52] Speaker A: We're good. All right. Same time next week?
[00:09:54] Speaker B: Scary that it ended with the captain being so mad. So I know what the heck is going on.
[00:10:00] Speaker C: We're in trouble.
[00:10:04] Speaker E: And I. I hate to be that student, but. Well, I did have homework.
[00:10:15] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:10:17] Speaker E: And I remembered today.
[00:10:20] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:10:21] Speaker E: And so I will. And I'm hoping that this earns us some, like, some goodwill narratively.
[00:10:29] Speaker A: Well, I also was encouraged to say, because I was talking to KT about tonight. He said something tonight, and I said, I have just had an idea, and I'm not going to say what it is, but it's me. It's an example of me doubling down on you guys, having consequences for your actions.
[00:10:48] Speaker B: Look how scared he is. He's so nervous about saying that.
[00:10:51] Speaker E: I can only hope that we take into account consequences for me having done my homework.
[00:10:56] Speaker B: Okay, Remember that I am.
[00:10:59] Speaker E: I'm gonna post it. I'm not an artist, and this was my first time really trying to learn.
[00:11:07] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:11:07] Speaker E: It was my tablet.
[00:11:08] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:11:09] Speaker C: Oh, fancy.
[00:11:10] Speaker E: And it's just gonna be boobs.
[00:11:14] Speaker A: Side note, while he's loading it, Alex is drinking a beer in honor of Sean Indigo today.
[00:11:20] Speaker B: Is he? What does it say?
Oh, really? Hilarious.
Apparently that's what I was apparently saying. It was awful.
[00:11:29] Speaker E: All right, I'm going to press enter. And this is. This is Roscoe's.
This is the Canon poster, I think. Roscoe's illustration of Rafina.
[00:11:40] Speaker C: Oh.
[00:11:41] Speaker B: Oh, that's adorable. Look at that hair.
It kind of looks like the COVID of Mad magazine too.
[00:11:52] Speaker E: Not very good. And, yeah, he signs RL off of her. Rosco La.
Even though La Flor is one word.
[00:11:59] Speaker B: Rosco Love Fina is how we're gonna.
[00:12:01] Speaker A: The title of this is what? Me Fairy.
[00:12:07] Speaker D: Great.
[00:12:08] Speaker B: That's so great. I love the. I love the tunic.
[00:12:12] Speaker A: We gotta share all these. So.
[00:12:14] Speaker B: Yeah, I didn't do one, and I forgot.
[00:12:16] Speaker A: Abby did two and I did one. Yeah, so we can share them all on our Discord server too, when this episode comes out. So, kt. Hello, editor. Please put this in a note for me in your email so I do that.
[00:12:31] Speaker B: Okay, I will tell.
[00:12:32] Speaker A: I'm gonna save them in a folder on my desktop.
[00:12:35] Speaker B: Okay, tell me that you're gonna save. No, I'm not gonna tell you right now.
[00:12:40] Speaker A: Write it down.
[00:12:40] Speaker B: I'm telling you right now. No, this helps. You're gonna save it in a folder.
[00:12:45] Speaker C: On the desk top titled Rafina Drawings Come hither, Smile.
[00:12:51] Speaker B: I love it.
[00:12:53] Speaker E: I feel bad because I. I know that at the end of our last session, I did have an idea for how to proceed from this moment, and I've completely forgotten that.
And I remember thinking it was a pretty smart idea, and now it's.
[00:13:09] Speaker C: You're not in the room, though, right? You're not even in the room because you've escaped, right? Or did you come back around?
[00:13:14] Speaker E: No, I'm there.
[00:13:17] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:13:18] Speaker E: Oh, my God, Roscoe's there. Roscoe's the one who pointed out the poster.
[00:13:23] Speaker C: Really? Okay. Bold move.
[00:13:26] Speaker E: Bold move.
I can't believe you forgot that.
Now you know why I was making that face.
[00:13:34] Speaker D: Yep.
[00:13:36] Speaker B: Oh, My God.
[00:13:37] Speaker A: Abby, why are your drawings of Rafina titled Rita?
[00:13:42] Speaker E: Because it's Rita Hayworth.
[00:13:43] Speaker C: Rita Hayworth.
[00:13:46] Speaker B: That's so cute, you goof.
[00:13:49] Speaker C: Rafina is short for Rafina Hayworth.
[00:13:51] Speaker B: Yeah. Nice.
[00:13:54] Speaker E: That's great.
[00:13:54] Speaker A: Did we make that joke last time?
[00:13:56] Speaker E: No, I don't think so.
[00:13:57] Speaker A: We should have. All right.
[00:13:59] Speaker C: Darn it. Missed opportunity.
[00:14:02] Speaker A: All right, let's update the map with where everybody is. It's not much of a move. I'm going to put Kick down here. You went to the fishing hole, I think, right, Kick?
[00:14:09] Speaker C: Yes, that much I remember.
[00:14:11] Speaker A: Sean's there.
I guess everybody's kind of here. Okay, just drag everybody over. You're all in this room, and the captain's there, so. Yes, the captain has revealed the hole in the wall and has turned and accused, accusingly, asked, who did this to my ship?
And he's looking over all of you.
[00:14:41] Speaker B: All of us, like. Does he look at me even?
[00:14:44] Speaker A: Yeah, everybody. And he's like.
He goes, all right, that's it. He puts a figure in the air. We're going on lockdown. And he goes to stride out of the room.
[00:15:00] Speaker E: Oh, we'll definitely let him stride out of the room.
[00:15:02] Speaker B: I. I'm just doing big eyes at everybody, like.
[00:15:10] Speaker A: And you hear him go down the stairs.
[00:15:15] Speaker B: What is going on, guys?
[00:15:19] Speaker A: Well, I mean, he uncovered a big hole that someone made in the wall in the ship, and he was upset.
[00:15:25] Speaker B: I look through the hole.
It just looks like another room. Okay, okay, okay.
[00:15:32] Speaker F: Okay.
[00:15:32] Speaker E: So the captain's gone.
[00:15:33] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:15:35] Speaker F: All right, so here's the problem. Is that. I think that's. Is that. Whose room is that?
Pathway. Kick.
[00:15:43] Speaker E: Kick.
[00:15:43] Speaker F: Who's room?
[00:15:45] Speaker B: Not there.
[00:15:47] Speaker E: Oh, Kick left. Because he went to the fishing not to know us.
So I don't know if Rosco even knows whose room that is. I don't know.
[00:15:58] Speaker A: I can't remember if it was said or not.
[00:16:00] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:16:00] Speaker F: Can I. We. We got the. We got the thing. We got the crate with the Al bear, and it's over there in that room right now. So I don't know. What. What should we do?
[00:16:11] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:16:12] Speaker F: Is he gonna come back? Is he gonna look in that room?
[00:16:14] Speaker B: Probably.
Okay, now. Oh, I think we need to calm down. Like, what we're gonna get. Like, this whole ship is gonna. We're gonna get kicked off the ship. We need to get to Golly's end. What the fuck is happening right now?
[00:16:30] Speaker C: What is.
[00:16:30] Speaker F: And they wanna have, like, a pocket dimension or something?
None of us has a pocket dimension.
[00:16:37] Speaker C: I mean, I have a dumb.
What Is it even called the one that I hate?
[00:16:44] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:16:44] Speaker A: We need to will the hut.
[00:16:47] Speaker C: The hut. The tiny hut.
[00:16:50] Speaker B: We. We need to be on the same page, though, with the same story right before he comes back. I mean, all I know is that I was with him the whole time, so it's not gonna be me that gets in trouble, but.
So the people we have to account for are Kick, potentially Roscoe, and I.
[00:17:08] Speaker A: Mean, I guess Kick isn't with us, but he wasn't there the whole time.
[00:17:11] Speaker B: Who else is on this goddamn ship?
[00:17:13] Speaker A: Oh, there's that Gnaw guy.
[00:17:16] Speaker B: Okay, we gotta pin it on him.
[00:17:18] Speaker A: And then the inventor lady.
[00:17:20] Speaker B: Sue, look.
[00:17:21] Speaker F: No, we pin it on Sean Indigo.
[00:17:23] Speaker E: He's already a criminal.
[00:17:25] Speaker F: He's the one who's pent up and the hoes in his room.
[00:17:30] Speaker E: Right?
[00:17:33] Speaker B: I don't know what's going on in the other room.
[00:17:36] Speaker F: Whose room is that?
[00:17:37] Speaker B: I don't know.
[00:17:39] Speaker A: Do you want me to go over there and check it out?
[00:17:41] Speaker B: No, don't go anywhere, Shimmy. Just act as innocent as you possibly can. Oh.
[00:17:44] Speaker A: Oh, I can't believe there's a hole.
[00:17:46] Speaker B: Shimi, what else do you have in your pocket? Pockets? I took. I had taken whatever he had dropped at that chair.
[00:17:50] Speaker A: Got my lock picks.
[00:17:52] Speaker C: Great.
[00:17:52] Speaker B: Yeah, let's. I just take them and throw them into Sha Indo's room somewhere. Just like throw. Throw them across the room. Okay.
[00:18:00] Speaker A: Hear an animal go.
[00:18:02] Speaker E: So are we picture. I'm picturing us like we are. I'm rescu's. Like in. Are we all in Sean Indigo's room?
[00:18:09] Speaker A: I think so.
[00:18:10] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:18:10] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:18:10] Speaker F: Okay.
[00:18:11] Speaker E: And so does. Can we see through the other room?
[00:18:15] Speaker A: You can look through. It's dark in there.
[00:18:18] Speaker E: Okay.
[00:18:19] Speaker A: Because Bathwack had reset the exterior door.
[00:18:23] Speaker C: Will, can't you illuminate that other room?
[00:18:27] Speaker B: I don't want to move. I like. This is. This is not a great situation. We need to think of a way to cover for Roscoe since he wasn't with us. And, you know, Kick can do his own thing. He's a. I think the captain thinks he's a complete idiot, which, you know, cool. But what are we going to do with Roscoe?
Roscoe? I can change you into something and hide you, or you could just act innocent. Roscoe, how's. How. How with it do you feel right now, Roscoe?
[00:18:57] Speaker F: I feel pretty with it. And I don't know why you think that he'll suspect me.
[00:19:02] Speaker B: You weren't with us is all I'm saying.
[00:19:04] Speaker F: He doesn't know when the Hole was made. For all he knows, the hole was made.
[00:19:09] Speaker E: You know, I don't know.
[00:19:12] Speaker B: I didn't see that poster before. When we were in this fucking room. None of us.
[00:19:16] Speaker F: None of us noticed it. Which is weird because it was right there.
[00:19:20] Speaker B: Can I tell that he's lying? Do you need me to roll? Because it wasn't there.
[00:19:24] Speaker A: Are you actually trying to lie?
[00:19:25] Speaker E: He's not hiding the fact that he's lying. He's suggesting it was right there. Right? Everybody.
We all saw it the first time.
[00:19:34] Speaker F: Right? So Captain Malvolio just must not have seen it.
[00:19:39] Speaker A: Right, Right. But I mean, we're all kind of together.
[00:19:43] Speaker B: Yeah. We're all. It's kind of obvious. And why is there a poster of Rafina? Sean has barely even. We're gonna have to really play this up. That, like, Sean's obsessed with Rafina in some way. And why would Sean be going into that other room? I don't think this logically makes a lot of sense. We can try to just go with the flow here. But I just. I'm trying to think of some other reason.
[00:20:01] Speaker F: I think the main thing right now is we gotta figure out what to do with the fucking. With the. With the owl bear. All right?
[00:20:07] Speaker E: So I guess I'm gonna.
[00:20:09] Speaker F: I guess. Can I.
[00:20:10] Speaker E: Can Roscoe lift this thing? I know Bathwack could. Bathwick was strong enough too.
[00:20:16] Speaker A: You think maybe you could. It'd be tough.
[00:20:21] Speaker E: I just. I. Yeah.
This is bad. I hate the fact that I role played this poster.
[00:20:29] Speaker B: Is he. Is he. Did he. Did he mention the Albert out loud? Did you say that out loud? Because Will would say so. There's an owl bear. The owl bear that we need to release. Why don't we just fucking release it?
[00:20:39] Speaker D: That's what I was going to. I'm not there. I was going to whisper in your ears, but Will said it.
[00:20:43] Speaker B: Let it go. Just.
[00:20:44] Speaker F: Is that what he want? What the. What the Albatross wanted?
[00:20:48] Speaker B: Yeah. Can I. Can I conjure unseen servant to. Does it look like something he could open or. It's a crate. Like, nailed shut. Like. I didn't see it. I haven't seen it. What does it look like? I could cast something to potentially open it so that none of us are even in there.
What's the cra. What is it in what it. Can it get. Can. Is it easily openable?
[00:21:09] Speaker E: I don't. Eric. What would Ruska remember from the.
[00:21:12] Speaker A: It's a. It's one of those childproof caps like on prescription bottles.
[00:21:16] Speaker D: Just keeps clicking.
[00:21:19] Speaker A: It's a It's a. It's a wooden crate that presumably is nailed shut.
[00:21:26] Speaker F: Yeah, it's wooden. It's nailed shut.
[00:21:32] Speaker A: Do you have a invisible hammer spell?
[00:21:36] Speaker B: Crowball. If I Can somebody fit through that hole? Can will I. Okay. Shit.
[00:21:41] Speaker E: Kicking me.
[00:21:42] Speaker B: I don't.
[00:21:42] Speaker E: Roscoe both fit through it, right?
[00:21:45] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:21:46] Speaker E: It's a big hole.
[00:21:47] Speaker B: So I'm not gonna. I'm gonna. Will's gonna say no, she me like with a double long stare. And then say somebody else go in and just let it out and I'll lock the door. Oh, God. Mo.
[00:22:01] Speaker D: I. I have a question for the dm.
[00:22:04] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:22:05] Speaker D: If you describe the hole, what does it look like?
[00:22:09] Speaker A: I'm assuming a raggedly hacked.
[00:22:13] Speaker B: He was chopped with a sword.
[00:22:16] Speaker A: Okay.
Maw. It's. It's a maw more than gory sword.
[00:22:21] Speaker D: All right? And I was just wondering if you would look at that and you would say this was hacked by an axe or an owl bear hacked by an owl. Yeah, exactly. Or this was hacked by a silver longsword.
[00:22:36] Speaker A: Well, I'm picturing bathwacketing very into it and hacking with a sword, but also like punching pieces out and like stuff like clawing. You've got dragonborn claws.
[00:22:48] Speaker F: Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Maybe we're going about this all the wrong way.
[00:22:53] Speaker A: All right?
[00:22:54] Speaker F: Maybe we let the maritime justice system do the work for us. Right? Captain Mavolio is going to be back here any second, and he's going to investigate that room, and he's going to want to know what's inside that crate. So he'll open it for us, and he'll free the owl bear, and then we just pin it on Sean Indigo. We already know he's an animal smuggler.
[00:23:18] Speaker B: But why would he be putting the. Can we drag the crate back in this room and act like the owlbear busts through the wall?
Do owlbears do that? I don't know anything about owlbears.
[00:23:27] Speaker F: Oh, I think owl bears bust through things all the time. There was a CUS act back when I was growing up in the cus, and there was an act where an owl bear would burst through a brick wall dressed up like a big pitcher of red liquid.
[00:23:41] Speaker B: Dressed like a picture.
What?
[00:23:46] Speaker F: I don't know.
I'm making all this up as I go along.
[00:23:50] Speaker A: I thought you said you were with it.
[00:23:53] Speaker F: I've just become Paul Giamatti.
[00:23:56] Speaker B: All right?
[00:23:56] Speaker A: I'm will watch two Paul Giamatti movies in the past week.
[00:24:00] Speaker B: That's true.
[00:24:00] Speaker E: You watch the Holdovers?
[00:24:02] Speaker B: I Watched part of it. I didn't watch the whole thing, but I watched.
[00:24:05] Speaker E: I loved the Holdovers.
[00:24:06] Speaker A: It was great.
[00:24:07] Speaker E: God, it was wonderful.
[00:24:09] Speaker A: KT didn't like looking at the kid's face, though.
[00:24:12] Speaker E: Okay, well, that's too bad. Lovely film.
[00:24:15] Speaker A: That's just an example of living with kt.
[00:24:18] Speaker B: Yeah, sure, sure.
[00:24:19] Speaker E: Do they say that about your children's faces sometimes?
[00:24:24] Speaker A: No, that's the only redeeming quality about them. Sometimes it's like, God damn it, they're so fucking cute. Jesus Christ.
[00:24:35] Speaker B: Will wants to turn to Mo and just say, yeah, Mo go in and tear the crate apart and just let the out, like. But, like, let the owl bear open the door first.
[00:24:43] Speaker F: Okay, good. And then we blame the hole on the out bear.
[00:24:46] Speaker A: It'll try to hurt me.
[00:24:48] Speaker B: I don't know.
[00:24:49] Speaker C: Will it?
[00:24:49] Speaker A: Like, should I fight back?
[00:24:51] Speaker B: Oh, God.
[00:24:52] Speaker C: Don't fight back.
[00:24:52] Speaker E: It's winged.
[00:24:53] Speaker F: Let it set it free.
[00:24:54] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:24:55] Speaker E: Especially if you love it.
[00:24:56] Speaker B: Okay, wait. If Mo can't.
[00:24:57] Speaker A: I don't know.
[00:24:58] Speaker B: Is Mo really this innocent? Mo kills people with a knife? I'm curious about.
[00:25:03] Speaker A: I'm not worried about me. I just know that this is, like, important thing, like, instinct for me is if something hurt me, to stab, stab, stab, eat, eat, eat.
But I think you might. I'm trying to be the civilization Mo.
[00:25:17] Speaker B: That you be, but right now we need less civilization. We need the owlbear to bust through the wall and bust out the door is what I'm saying. But is there a way, do you think? I don't even know how long this guy's gonna be gone. We've been talking for 10 hours. Do you think you can get in that room, rip the crate open and open the door and let the thing out under 10 seconds, throw part of the crate back.
[00:25:36] Speaker A: Here I go.
[00:25:37] Speaker B: All right.
I run over to the door. I have a wand. I have a wand.
[00:25:42] Speaker C: Oh, I could charm the animal.
[00:25:45] Speaker B: She can just run in there if she wants.
[00:25:47] Speaker A: I don't.
[00:25:47] Speaker B: I'm not. I don't.
[00:25:48] Speaker C: I'm running after Shimi. Wait, I can tell him to come. I. Mo. Did I say shimmy?
[00:25:52] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:25:55] Speaker C: Wait, wait. I can use this.
[00:25:57] Speaker B: This, this.
[00:25:58] Speaker C: I can use this to tell him to look like he banged through the wall. Do we want that? Do we want that?
[00:26:04] Speaker A: You're asking. Wrong person. I. Crate ripper.
[00:26:07] Speaker C: I'm just gonna do it.
[00:26:09] Speaker E: Roscoe's looking. He's now positioning himself at the door to keep watching.
[00:26:13] Speaker B: Yeah, that's where I ran to. Yeah.
[00:26:15] Speaker E: Oh, okay.
[00:26:16] Speaker B: Okay, good. As soon as Mo went, that Way I was running for the door to make sure that we can. All right, Distract. If he comes back. If so, to give them enough time.
[00:26:24] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:26:25] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:26:26] Speaker A: Here I go. And Rufina's there. You see Mo. He rips his. He shoves his knife into the crack on the top of the crate and starts wrenching out.
[00:26:36] Speaker C: Accidentally kills the elder.
[00:26:37] Speaker B: Oh, God.
[00:26:39] Speaker A: Stab the crate, gets his claws under and starts wrenching. He quickly pops the top off of this thing, and out of the crate explodes this mass of feathers and beaks and talons and fur.
It is a young but still pretty hefty winged owl bear.
[00:27:04] Speaker B: Okay, but we're not in the room, right?
[00:27:06] Speaker A: Like, oh, Rafina is.
[00:27:08] Speaker B: Okay. All right, Go out door.
[00:27:11] Speaker F: Go out door.
[00:27:12] Speaker A: He tries to open the door, it flies towards him because it's completely off the hinges.
[00:27:17] Speaker C: All right, so that Rafina is going to use the Wand of Animal Friendship, or whatever the heck it's called.
[00:27:23] Speaker A: You're asking me? I don't know what you're talking about. I must have given this to you, like, four years ago.
[00:27:28] Speaker C: No, I still have it. It's in my character.
[00:27:30] Speaker A: I believe you. I'm just saying. I don't know what it is.
[00:27:33] Speaker C: He always has the wand of Charm. Animal cast, Animal friendship. I have three charges.
[00:27:38] Speaker A: Animal friendship.
All right, let's look up animal Friendship, guys. The spell lets you convince a beast that you mean it no harm. Choose a beast it can see and hear you. It has to succeed on a wisdom save or be charmed by you guys.
[00:27:55] Speaker E: I looked up animal Friendship, and I'm watching some adorable videos.
[00:28:01] Speaker B: Some owl bear videos.
[00:28:04] Speaker A: Is animal friendship similar to animal husbandry?
[00:28:07] Speaker C: No.
[00:28:08] Speaker A: Oh, okay.
All right, so wisdom saving throw this owl bear has to make. Let's see how good of a bonus it has.
All right. Wisdom plus one. Wow. Good job. All right, so what's your saving d spell save DC there?
[00:28:31] Speaker C: 16.
[00:28:33] Speaker A: 16.
What does timing on saves? I think it means yours works.
Yeah.
[00:28:42] Speaker C: Yay.
[00:28:43] Speaker B: Yay.
[00:28:44] Speaker A: So it immediately stops thrashing about and settles down, and it stands there. It's like a short owl bear. If you're not familiar. It kind of has, like, the body of a bear, but feathery.
The head is. Is beaked. It's an owl bear. Everybody knows what an owl bear looks like. And it does have wings that it's, like, kind of flapping out and then settles down, and it looks at you and kind of tilts its head sideways like an owl.
[00:29:14] Speaker C: And I'm casting speak with animal as well, so I can actually talk to it.
[00:29:19] Speaker B: Oh, okay.
[00:29:19] Speaker C: Unless that's somehow included. But I do have.
[00:29:22] Speaker A: It's not.
[00:29:22] Speaker C: I do have.
[00:29:23] Speaker B: It should be.
[00:29:24] Speaker C: Yeah. For real.
[00:29:26] Speaker A: It just means a charmed creature. It can't attack you or target you with harmful abilities.
And you have advantage on any ability check to interact socially with it.
[00:29:37] Speaker B: Neat.
[00:29:38] Speaker C: Okay, that's nice. All right. I do cast speak with animals.
[00:29:43] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:29:45] Speaker C: Okay. Owly Berry.
[00:29:47] Speaker B: Hello?
[00:29:48] Speaker E: Halle Berry?
[00:29:50] Speaker C: It's Halle Berry, the owl bear.
[00:29:53] Speaker E: All right, I think this is this the next Steve Corral. Halle Berry.
[00:29:58] Speaker A: Owl Berry.
[00:29:59] Speaker B: Holy.
[00:30:00] Speaker C: Berry, I know you've been in that box for a long time. Can you tell me about your journey here? Actually, no. Tell me something really quick because we have to get you out of here quickly.
[00:30:09] Speaker A: Oh, what? What do you want to know?
[00:30:13] Speaker C: How feasible is it for you to make this hole bigger and make it look like you made it? And she points to the wall.
[00:30:21] Speaker A: You want me to make this hole bigger?
[00:30:24] Speaker C: Yeah, and I want you to sort of burst through it and then I want you escape because a bird God told us to let you go.
[00:30:33] Speaker A: Okay, sure.
[00:30:35] Speaker C: Does it sound okay?
[00:30:37] Speaker A: Yeah, why not? You let me out, it's not gonna.
[00:30:38] Speaker C: Hurt you, is it?
[00:30:39] Speaker A: Well, I'll be fine.
[00:30:41] Speaker C: I'm really sorry you were stuck in that box. I have a feeling that the person who put you in there is not a good dude.
[00:30:47] Speaker A: No, probably not. Took me away from my family sucked.
[00:30:51] Speaker C: Can you find your family again, do you think?
[00:30:54] Speaker A: I don't know. Where are we?
[00:30:57] Speaker C: We're on a cruise ship.
[00:30:58] Speaker A: A what?
[00:31:00] Speaker C: It's just a huge boat full of people.
[00:31:02] Speaker A: Oh. Not sure what that is, but okay. I'll make that hole bigger. Thank you. And it goes down on all fours and starts like clawing you guys in the other room. Hear this as it's. You can see like a beak and some claws poke through.
[00:31:18] Speaker B: I frantically look around the hallway and I'm like, go the other way. Get out. Out of the boat. I'm doing this to the owlbears if this does anything.
[00:31:26] Speaker C: Shoo.
[00:31:27] Speaker B: Get out of here.
[00:31:29] Speaker C: So, owlbear friend, once you've come through that way, can you come back through the other way and make it look like you escaped through that hole in this direction?
[00:31:40] Speaker A: Okay, sure.
[00:31:44] Speaker E: I have a casting suggestion for the owlbear in the eventual pork fried dice movie. I'd love to see the Albear played by Patrick Warburg.
[00:31:53] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, okay.
Took me away from my family.
[00:32:00] Speaker E: Yeah. I'm Howie Berry.
[00:32:02] Speaker A: Howie.
[00:32:03] Speaker E: Howie Berry.
[00:32:07] Speaker B: Patrick Warburton as Howley Berry.
Amazing.
Geez, I need to make a movie poster for that Zendaya.
Yeah.
[00:32:20] Speaker E: You want me to make that hole bigger? Yeah, I can make that bigger.
[00:32:23] Speaker A: Yeah?
[00:32:24] Speaker C: Yep.
[00:32:25] Speaker E: What's a cruise ship? Okay.
[00:32:27] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:32:29] Speaker A: So. Yeah. It smashes through. Suddenly there's a winged owl bear in the room with you all on the other side.
[00:32:36] Speaker B: I close the door.
[00:32:37] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:32:38] Speaker B: I close the door because I'm like. I don't know what's. Hopefully I.
[00:32:42] Speaker A: Three darts shoot out.
[00:32:45] Speaker E: You closed the door to Sean Indigo's room?
[00:32:48] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, so me and you, I'm assuming you're out with me. Right?
[00:32:51] Speaker F: The hallway.
[00:32:52] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, we're just like. Okay, that's happening in there. And we're with. This is fine.
[00:32:57] Speaker A: Oh, hello. Alber. You hear from inside the room?
[00:33:01] Speaker B: Is that.
[00:33:02] Speaker C: Yeah, it's not Sean Indigo.
[00:33:04] Speaker E: So Shimi didn't come out with us?
[00:33:07] Speaker A: I don't know. Did he you?
[00:33:08] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:33:09] Speaker E: Let's say we ushered everybody in the room. Out with us.
[00:33:13] Speaker C: Leave the 14 year old in with them.
[00:33:14] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:33:15] Speaker A: Ra Ra.
And then you hear some more.
All right. Is that good?
[00:33:30] Speaker C: Yeah. Now just escape.
[00:33:32] Speaker A: Oh. Like forever. Goodbye.
[00:33:34] Speaker C: Yeah. I really love you. You're the best.
[00:33:37] Speaker A: Okay.
Do you want to hug?
[00:33:40] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:33:41] Speaker F: Okay.
[00:33:42] Speaker A: And it clacks over to you and wraps its big owl bear wings around.
[00:33:45] Speaker E: You and crushes you to death.
[00:33:48] Speaker C: Ravina is so happy being crushed to death.
[00:33:52] Speaker E: So great.
[00:33:53] Speaker A: No, you do get a couple pops in your spine.
[00:33:56] Speaker B: She's an inch taller now.
[00:33:58] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:34:00] Speaker B: Alright.
[00:34:02] Speaker A: Increase.
[00:34:02] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:34:04] Speaker A: Was that a good hug?
[00:34:06] Speaker C: That was the best.
[00:34:08] Speaker B: Was that a good hug? Definitely leaning into the Patrick. That's hilarious.
[00:34:13] Speaker E: My fault.
[00:34:14] Speaker B: No, it's perfect. It's good. It gives him more of a thing to do.
[00:34:18] Speaker A: Yeah, it really does.
I forgot that people could talk to animals, so I didn't realize I could prepare characters for any living creature.
[00:34:27] Speaker C: Now we know your default voice.
[00:34:31] Speaker A: All right. This way. Out this door.
[00:34:34] Speaker C: Oh, whichever is most convenient. I don't even know what's going on.
[00:34:37] Speaker A: Well, not back through this hole. Right.
[00:34:38] Speaker C: So I can just open this door for you if you want. And then you can burst through whatever ceilings you want.
[00:34:42] Speaker A: Oh, I mean, it's open.
[00:34:44] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. Okay.
[00:34:45] Speaker A: Yeah, I opened it. I am very strong. I pull right off hinge and fly on me.
Oh, my God.
[00:34:52] Speaker B: Cause broke it off the hinges. That's right.
I'm very strong. Almost. Oh, my God.
[00:35:01] Speaker A: All right, well, thanks for freeing me. I hope that hole is good. I don't know what that was for. And. Yep. I'll maybe see you later.
[00:35:11] Speaker C: Good luck. I hope you find your family.
[00:35:15] Speaker A: Yep. All right, Bye.
All right. Walks out the door and all of you. Oh, are you still in the fishing spot? Kick?
[00:35:26] Speaker D: Yeah, actually not Kick, though. I was inspired when I saw the.
What is his name? The Miko Myconid. Yeah, I was looking for. I was trying to catch a fish that looks like that.
[00:35:39] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:35:39] Speaker C: Like a myconid.
[00:35:40] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:35:40] Speaker A: All right, so real quick, we're gonna go to Kick in the fishing hole trying to catch a myconid shaped fish.
Give me a nature check. We'll see how successful you are.
[00:35:53] Speaker D: Oh, you're taking me seriously.
[00:35:54] Speaker A: Yes, I always.
[00:35:57] Speaker D: I mean, I'm really trying to do it.
[00:35:58] Speaker A: I know you are.
[00:36:00] Speaker D: Did I do it? Did I do it?
[00:36:02] Speaker A: Sorry.
[00:36:03] Speaker D: Seven. All right.
Gonna catch something amazing.
[00:36:07] Speaker A: Catch something off the bottom that's. You think maybe some sort of a fungus that's growing on under there?
[00:36:13] Speaker D: It's something kind of fuzzy, but it's dead.
[00:36:15] Speaker A: It's not moving. Yeah.
[00:36:17] Speaker D: It's not wriggling.
[00:36:18] Speaker A: So you can eat it if you want, but that's not what you were hoping for.
[00:36:24] Speaker D: Throw it back.
[00:36:26] Speaker A: You hear the door to the fishing hole open, and the captain peeks his head in. He says, kick. You might want to reel in whatever line you got, maybe even step out of there.
[00:36:39] Speaker D: I just. I just did. All right. Caught some.
It wasn't moving, whatever I caught.
[00:36:45] Speaker A: Okay. Why don't you come out here? The fishing hole is going to be closed for the foreseeable future.
[00:36:52] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:36:53] Speaker D: Oh, no.
[00:36:54] Speaker A: I'm sorry.
[00:36:55] Speaker D: Why?
[00:36:57] Speaker A: It's too much to explain right now. I'm in a bit of a hurry, but if you could please just come out here.
[00:37:01] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:37:02] Speaker A: Okay. Thank you.
Maybe. Maybe make your way back upstairs to the. Maybe the lounge or your room. We're having a bit of an issue on the ship here, so I just. Trying to collect everybody in one spot. But just definitely don't go back out here. Okay.
[00:37:20] Speaker D: Yeah. Can I go? Okay. Okay. No, I understand. All right. Okay, good.
[00:37:24] Speaker A: All right. And then he strides off down the hallway.
[00:37:27] Speaker D: Good. And then I'm gonna go up to the very top and I'm gonna start fishing off the top.
Yeah. This is my lounge.
[00:37:37] Speaker A: Yep.
So you head up to the next floor and you hear some distant.
And you see. You go around the corner to go up the stairs to the top. And you see Will and Roscoe and Sheemi and Clockface standing out in the hallway.
[00:37:58] Speaker D: Oh, hey. I'm gonna keep walking.
[00:38:03] Speaker B: I think that's okay. I think we should just let him keep walking.
[00:38:08] Speaker D: I mean, I. You know.
[00:38:11] Speaker A: Sure.
[00:38:12] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:38:13] Speaker D: I mean, I mean, it makes sense.
[00:38:15] Speaker A: So.
[00:38:15] Speaker D: I mean, here's what I'm thinking about. We don't know you, like. Well, I mean, we sort of know each other, but also, I totally hacked a hole in the captain's ship.
[00:38:24] Speaker C: You don't want to be seen together.
[00:38:26] Speaker D: And the captain just told me something weird.
Yeah.
[00:38:32] Speaker B: And so, yeah, I guess we don't know if you know. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, Is.
[00:38:37] Speaker E: But Roscoe's the only one who knows for sure that you made the hole, Right?
[00:38:42] Speaker A: You told these guys, I think, didn't you?
[00:38:45] Speaker B: I don't even know. I don't think so.
Like, when we were.
[00:38:51] Speaker A: All right, Roscoe, so what happened? Give us the rundown. Did Kick make that hole? Yeah, I knew he did.
[00:38:58] Speaker B: Okay, so Kick walking by, so we would need to. We need to see something like. Hey, Kick, did you hear that the captain's gonna do a lockdown of the ship because there's a fucking hole in the wall.
[00:39:09] Speaker D: I'm looking around. There's really. Actually no one around here, but I'll stay.
The captain told me to go to my room or to a lounge.
[00:39:18] Speaker B: Yeah. A lockdown situation.
[00:39:20] Speaker D: So I'm going to the lounge on the top deck.
[00:39:24] Speaker B: Sounds great.
[00:39:25] Speaker F: Okay. And. Yeah. Did you hear that there was, like.
[00:39:28] Speaker E: A loose owl bear on the ship.
[00:39:30] Speaker F: And that might have crashed through some walls or at least one wall. It might have made at least one big hole, right?
[00:39:38] Speaker D: Oh, that's great.
[00:39:41] Speaker F: Okay. Get the out of here, you filthy animal.
[00:39:49] Speaker A: All right, so Kick starts walking away, and then all of a sudden, all of you. The owlbear has just left the room. Rafina and Mo.
So everybody's at about the same time, and all of a sudden everybody hears.
What the fuck?
[00:40:07] Speaker C: How do I spell that?
[00:40:09] Speaker A: I'm not sure.
[00:40:09] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:40:16] Speaker A: It definitely starts with T. You're right.
[00:40:18] Speaker C: It's a Balrog.
[00:40:20] Speaker A: What's that noise?
[00:40:21] Speaker B: Here, I have tc. Tcoh. It's almost like column, maybe. Tch. Oh, tch. Oh, tch. Oh, there we go.
[00:40:31] Speaker A: And you feel the ship shudder around you.
[00:40:33] Speaker B: Oh, goodness.
Okay.
Okay. The whole ship does it stopping or something?
[00:40:40] Speaker A: No. You don't feel like you're not. You don't feel a change in acceleration or whatever?
[00:40:47] Speaker C: Does it feel mechanical?
[00:40:48] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:40:50] Speaker C: So he's probably stopping the ship.
[00:40:53] Speaker A: So again, you don't feel any change? You don't feel a deceleration or anything like that?
[00:40:58] Speaker C: Oh, sorry, I thought you said we did.
[00:40:59] Speaker B: Is there.
[00:41:00] Speaker D: No, no, we hear a bunch of not working sounds. Right. I mean, I'm trying to go up the stairs. I'm gonna hopefully this doesn't mean things are.
[00:41:07] Speaker A: So you go upstairs.
The top of the stairs is. There's a. Like a door there. Like a. Like a hatch that.
[00:41:15] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:41:16] Speaker A: Previously it had been open. And if you try to open it, you find that you were unable to.
[00:41:22] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:41:26] Speaker D: I'm gonna come back around and be like, guys, I can't. We can't go out. Yeah, I can't get up on the deck.
[00:41:33] Speaker F: Yeah. Lockdown. Lock.
Damn.
[00:41:37] Speaker B: Yeah, but what does that mean? What do you mean?
[00:41:38] Speaker D: Now you know what it means.
[00:41:40] Speaker B: What do you mean? Are the doors locked? We're stuck in the bottom of the ship. What?
[00:41:44] Speaker D: Yeah, we. We can't go up on the deck. At least not really. Not on this.
[00:41:50] Speaker E: Goes and panics and tries to open the stair.
It goes from being condescending.
[00:41:56] Speaker D: Cancel, man. I'm. Wait. Now I'm like, the captain's gonna turn out to be, like, totally deranged. He'd be like, my ship is damaged. And now it must sink to the bottom of.
[00:42:06] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. We all must fall down with it.
[00:42:14] Speaker E: I love this turn. I hope this happens. I hope this is a great turn for Melvolio.
Great opportunity for Dan Aykroyd.
[00:42:22] Speaker D: And someone else has been drawing nude pictures of Rafina.
[00:42:25] Speaker C: Raphina suddenly has a stirring in her heart.
[00:42:32] Speaker B: That was the ship shuddering.
Rafina's emotions.
[00:42:39] Speaker A: Rafina, should we crawl back through hole, or do we just go out after Owlbear?
[00:42:44] Speaker C: Or let's probably go back. I hate making decisions right now.
[00:42:49] Speaker A: Come on, Rafina. Come with me.
[00:42:51] Speaker C: I will.
[00:42:52] Speaker A: You want to hold my hand?
[00:42:53] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:42:54] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:42:54] Speaker F: Come on.
[00:42:55] Speaker A: It's okay. Do you want another hug?
Maybe.
[00:42:59] Speaker C: But after we walk and get somewhere.
[00:43:01] Speaker A: All right. Come on.
All right, so you guys go back through the hole. You see, the door is closed. Ah. Hello.
You guys hear Mo inside? Hello.
[00:43:12] Speaker B: I'll make like. Is the captain nowhere to be seen still? Okay, well, then I'll. I'll open the door and, like, do a big gesture, like, come on, come on. Like, trying to make it look like, oh, the owl bear's in there. Come on out. We're trying to all escape the owl bear and it's frenzy or something.
[00:43:29] Speaker C: Frenzy.
[00:43:30] Speaker A: Come on, Rafina.
[00:43:32] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:43:33] Speaker D: I mean, I think I'm going to. Wait, where are you guys going?
[00:43:36] Speaker A: Everybody's just right outside Sean Indigo's room.
[00:43:39] Speaker C: Currently we're together.
[00:43:40] Speaker D: I'm going to. I'm going to spend some time figuring out what this lockdown's about. I'm going to check the other stairwell. I'm going to see if they're like. Can I look out the portholes?
[00:43:51] Speaker B: Yeah, I want to look out a window too. Geez.
[00:43:54] Speaker A: Well, there were lots of big windows in the lounge and each of your rooms had a porthole.
[00:43:58] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:43:59] Speaker D: Yeah. And then I am, after the captain clears out, I'm going to go back down and see if the fishing hole is shut off. Like, can I.
[00:44:07] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:44:08] Speaker D: This is as dramatic as it seems. So anyway, that's what I'm doing.
[00:44:11] Speaker A: Okay. Where's. Where, where's everybody going first? If anywhere.
[00:44:18] Speaker B: I'm going to stand right by the door. Actually, if some. If I know somebody else is going to investigate what this is about. Do you say anything, Kik, or.
[00:44:26] Speaker E: Huh?
[00:44:27] Speaker A: Oh, that's not me.
[00:44:30] Speaker C: Sorry.
[00:44:30] Speaker A: I thought you meant Keck, and I thought it was racist.
[00:44:33] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:44:37] Speaker D: Yeah, I'll be like, I'm gonna go look around.
[00:44:41] Speaker B: Okay. And then I send a message in your brain and say, hey, what are you going to do?
[00:44:49] Speaker D: I'm going to find a way. A way out.
[00:44:53] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Are you gonna leave us all behind?
[00:44:56] Speaker D: No, no. Just gonna take note. Just gonna write it down on my hand.
[00:45:00] Speaker B: Yeah. Then, Len, come and see me and let me see your hand after that, because I want to know what the fuck is going on and how trapped we are.
[00:45:07] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:45:08] Speaker B: Because I'm gonna stay right here.
[00:45:09] Speaker D: I'll come back.
[00:45:11] Speaker A: I mean, should we all stay here to keep up the illusion that we're all innocent? I mean, the truth?
[00:45:18] Speaker B: Well, I think that, like, the innocent harmed parties should stay here as if they still need justice, so. You.
[00:45:25] Speaker A: Right, my eye. Look how cool but gross it is.
[00:45:29] Speaker B: Well, we. Yeah, I think that we're still. Yeah, we're still in the middle of that. We're not a part of any of this. So. Yeah, all right.
[00:45:36] Speaker F: Oh, you fools. We can't stay still. We can't stay here. If we stay here, we die. This ship is sinking. We gotta move. God saves those who save themselves.
Anyone?
[00:45:52] Speaker B: The ship is sinking.
[00:45:55] Speaker F: You've never seen the play the Poseidon Adventure? No, it's a classic play. No, sorry, that was my impression of famous circus actor Gene Hackman.
[00:46:08] Speaker E: Roscoe says to Rufina, you got a.
[00:46:11] Speaker F: Lot of guts, lady. A lot of guts.
[00:46:14] Speaker C: I got a hug from that owlbear.
[00:46:16] Speaker A: Oh, is it time for my hug now?
[00:46:19] Speaker B: Yes, Mo.
[00:46:22] Speaker A: Hugs are.
[00:46:23] Speaker B: I'm going to put on a little bit of an act to see if I can. I'm going to look frantically around the hallway to see if the captain is coming preemptively.
[00:46:33] Speaker A: Kick bathwack.
[00:46:34] Speaker D: Where are you headed first or the other stairwell? And then I'm going to go back down to the fishing hole.
[00:46:39] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:46:42] Speaker D: Nonchalant, Just kind of milling around.
[00:46:45] Speaker A: So, yeah, you head over to the other stairwell. It is the same situation as the first one. Hatch closed, locked, unable to be open. Yeah, and at this point you all heard. Get ready to spell this one.
Can you spell that?
[00:47:12] Speaker B: S. Was that a C? H?
[00:47:16] Speaker A: It was pervasive throughout the.
All of the air.
[00:47:24] Speaker B: All of the air. What? All the air is getting sucked out. What the. Is happening?
[00:47:28] Speaker A: Just hear it all around you and all of a sudden, Will looks like Will.
[00:47:38] Speaker E: Oh.
[00:47:39] Speaker B: What?
[00:47:39] Speaker E: Oh, no. This is some kind of anti magic.
[00:47:44] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:47:44] Speaker B: Oh, no, wait. Can I tell though? Would I.
[00:47:49] Speaker E: Would I know we react.
[00:47:51] Speaker C: Ah.
[00:47:52] Speaker E: Oh, you've got some will on you.
[00:47:55] Speaker B: Okay. I try to change into the magpie.
[00:47:58] Speaker A: You can't.
[00:47:59] Speaker B: Fuck. Did it use a spell? Do I have to eliminate a spell slot?
[00:48:03] Speaker A: I don't know.
[00:48:05] Speaker B: You don't know?
[00:48:06] Speaker A: Okay, probably.
[00:48:07] Speaker B: Oh, God.
[00:48:08] Speaker A: Yeah, I think so.
[00:48:10] Speaker B: All right, I'm gonna. I'm gonna click that if I can get my character sheet to come up.
[00:48:17] Speaker A: Yeah, you. You expend.
[00:48:19] Speaker B: Oh, no.
[00:48:19] Speaker A: A slot.
[00:48:20] Speaker B: Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Okay. Oh, no. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. I am not a passenger on the ship.
[00:48:29] Speaker C: This is bad.
[00:48:30] Speaker A: Uh. Oh.
[00:48:32] Speaker E: Do. Do we know if the. Did the. So the owlbear got off before lockdown, right?
[00:48:38] Speaker A: Are you asking me or Rafina or Beau?
[00:48:41] Speaker B: Well, we were asking you.
[00:48:43] Speaker E: We saw the owlbear leave.
[00:48:45] Speaker A: No, you didn't see the owlbear.
You heard it crashing around in there and then the door.
[00:48:51] Speaker C: So when the owlbear left the room, they didn't. They couldn't see it?
[00:48:55] Speaker A: No, it was on the other side of the.
[00:48:57] Speaker C: Oh, right. It was going through that. That wall. I understand it.
[00:49:02] Speaker A: It went through the broken door in Valencio's room on the starboard side.
To clear up any confusion as you're looking at Will, looking like Will around the corner, you see a winged owl bear crashing through you see it pop around the corner, looks down at you.
Oh, lady, where do I go?
[00:49:30] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:49:31] Speaker A: Kick it out of here.
[00:49:33] Speaker C: Oh, I thought you were gonna just crash through the wall or the ceiling. You didn't want to do that.
[00:49:38] Speaker A: You mean like out. Just smash through a wall?
[00:49:42] Speaker C: Yeah, like we made you pretend like you did.
Yeah, I know, but I thought you would use those same good skills.
[00:49:49] Speaker B: We have to get out.
God. Okay, I need to hide.
[00:49:53] Speaker A: Hear them hooting?
[00:49:54] Speaker B: People need to like.
Oh, God. Ravena.
[00:50:01] Speaker C: Rafina's. Flapping her hands.
[00:50:04] Speaker B: So cute.
[00:50:04] Speaker A: Like an Italian.
[00:50:11] Speaker B: Oh, God, that's so cute. Should we have it chase us? Rafina, what do we do? Oh, my God. I look like me. What do I do? And do I. I look like me, too? Do I not even have any of my magic? Like, I look like just me. Oh, I look like a mess.
[00:50:25] Speaker C: We can see your. We can see your varicose veins.
[00:50:28] Speaker A: If anybody's ever tried to Google Will Pompeo no makeup.
[00:50:32] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly.
[00:50:34] Speaker F: Oh, hey. Hey.
Your disguise is gone. Well, you look like a slightly younger version of me.
[00:50:43] Speaker B: A single tear drops down my cheek.
[00:50:48] Speaker C: Regina says, owlbear, we're in a big fix. We really got ourselves into trouble trying to get you freed. We had to use magic and make up all sorts of stories, and now we're in big trouble and the captain has turned on anti magic or something. And there's boat, and I'm gonna get out of it.
[00:51:06] Speaker B: What?
[00:51:07] Speaker A: Sorry, we gotta go back a little bit.
[00:51:09] Speaker B: Oh. What?
[00:51:10] Speaker A: Alfare rounds the corner.
[00:51:12] Speaker C: Oh, okay.
[00:51:12] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:51:12] Speaker E: This was a Tarantino movie, right?
[00:51:14] Speaker A: Now it looks at you, Rafina, and it goes hoot, hoot, hoot, hoot, hoot.
[00:51:19] Speaker B: Hoot, hoot, hoot, hoot.
[00:51:21] Speaker E: Oh, yeah.
[00:51:22] Speaker B: Oh, damn it.
[00:51:23] Speaker E: Oh, no, there's nothing.
[00:51:26] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:51:27] Speaker C: I was gonna say, but my spell. Last 10 minutes, Eric.
[00:51:30] Speaker B: Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
She still have been hooting, though, because that was really cute. Hoot, hoot.
[00:51:37] Speaker C: She tried. She does try to.
I'm gesturing big time, and I'm trying to say we're in trouble.
[00:51:43] Speaker E: And where's. Where's Bathwack right now?
[00:51:48] Speaker A: He was going to head down to the fishing hole.
And you didn't.
[00:51:52] Speaker E: All right.
[00:51:52] Speaker A: Yeah. First he went over to the other side, and then his path would not take him past you again, I think.
[00:51:58] Speaker F: I think the biggest concern right now is that if you lost your disguise, it seems very likely that our mutual friend lost his.
[00:52:08] Speaker B: And where is he?
[00:52:10] Speaker F: That's gonna be a problem.
Ravina. Ravina. Oh.
[00:52:16] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:52:17] Speaker F: Can you. Can you ask. Ask the boy to ask.
[00:52:20] Speaker C: I have. No, I don't have it because.
[00:52:23] Speaker F: Albert, do.
[00:52:25] Speaker A: Do you.
[00:52:26] Speaker F: Feel free.
[00:52:28] Speaker A: So you're directing your speech to it, and it cocks its head directly at you and tilts it sideways, and then it turns to the left, to its right and just pecks at the wall twice very hard, and chunks of wood go flying out. And then it turns back to you and takes a step towards you.
[00:52:46] Speaker B: Oh, shit.
Adam.
Adam's acting there was so great.
Keenan Thomps in on.
[00:53:01] Speaker E: Keenan Thompson as Rosco.
[00:53:04] Speaker B: Yes. He'd be a great Rosco, actually.
[00:53:07] Speaker E: Although racist. Pork fried. Pork fried. Dice fans are like, why'd they make Rosco black?
[00:53:16] Speaker A: It's a small subset of our fans.
[00:53:20] Speaker E: Small subset, of course.
[00:53:21] Speaker A: The vocal minority.
[00:53:23] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:53:24] Speaker A: But they don't like to be called that.
[00:53:27] Speaker B: I think.
[00:53:28] Speaker F: I think the argument would be that relatively.
Relatively it is free. So I don't know.
Albatross.
Cross.
Albatross.
[00:53:41] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:53:42] Speaker C: Call the bird.
[00:53:43] Speaker F: Can you hear us?
We did what you wanted and now we need your help.
[00:53:48] Speaker C: Adam. Say that you believe in him or something.
[00:53:52] Speaker A: You mean Roscoe?
[00:53:54] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
I don't believe in Adam.
[00:54:00] Speaker D: No, but, but, but, but he can't. Never mind. I'm not there.
[00:54:03] Speaker B: No, you're not there.
[00:54:04] Speaker C: You can't. You can't play. Sorry, Roscoe.
Roscoe, like, appease to him as a deity.
[00:54:14] Speaker E: I don't.
[00:54:14] Speaker C: Show him some reverence.
[00:54:16] Speaker F: I don't.
[00:54:17] Speaker C: We're gonna die.
[00:54:19] Speaker E: Roscoe tries praying. He's done that before. He tried.
[00:54:23] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, he did.
[00:54:24] Speaker E: In this, like. Trying to figure out the coyote thing. The rabbit ears.
[00:54:28] Speaker C: You don't need to try. Just do it.
[00:54:31] Speaker F: You can't hear my players thoughts, Rafina.
[00:54:37] Speaker B: My player's thoughts.
[00:54:42] Speaker E: Roscoe prays to the cross Albatross, especially driven by the desperation of the situation and by real fear of this owlbear. Because Roscoe's seen his fair share of circus workers die at the wings of albears.
One. Just one.
[00:55:02] Speaker A: Huh?
So what's your. Let's. Let's hear this prayer.
[00:55:12] Speaker F: Our albatross, who art somewhere, a reasonable amount of respect be to thy name.
Please come down and honor your side of the previously agreed upon deal we would throw our super. Appreciate it.
[00:55:38] Speaker C: Beseech him. That's a good word. Beseech. We beseech thee.
[00:55:42] Speaker F: We beseech the. Your besought. You're besought.
Amen.
[00:55:49] Speaker A: Did you mean the requisite amount of respect or whatever you said, did you mean that?
[00:55:55] Speaker B: It said a reasonable amount of respect to be to thy name.
[00:55:59] Speaker E: Whatever's reasonable. Yes, he means that.
[00:56:01] Speaker A: Okay, okay, okay.
[00:56:03] Speaker E: There might be varying.
[00:56:05] Speaker A: I just thought it would be interesting to have someone roll a deception check on a prayer.
[00:56:10] Speaker B: But anyway, before you get to whatever the cross albatross's response is, can I just say that Will runs down to what he thought was his room. I know that you moved my shit to this other room. Oh, it's literally in our way. Okay, never mind. God damn. I don't have anything to Hide myself.
[00:56:27] Speaker A: Okay, you can go maybe around. You can go through the lounge.
[00:56:30] Speaker B: I'm trying to go to my old room to find my bags.
[00:56:33] Speaker A: This isn't a dead end.
[00:56:34] Speaker B: Meta wise that it's not there, but I. Will would be trying to go and disguise himself in some other way. So.
[00:56:40] Speaker A: To your old room?
[00:56:41] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:56:42] Speaker A: Okay. Because you don't know where your new room is.
[00:56:44] Speaker E: Will doesn't know about his new.
[00:56:46] Speaker A: No, he knows that he has one, but he doesn't know where it is.
[00:56:49] Speaker B: I've heard that I will be getting one. I didn't even know that it was ready until.
[00:56:54] Speaker E: Interesting.
[00:56:54] Speaker B: Until Alex investigated and found out that that was. My bags were in there. So. Yeah, Will is just trying to preserve some kind of.
[00:57:02] Speaker A: If you want to cut through the lounge, you can do that and go around.
[00:57:08] Speaker B: But do I think people might be in there?
[00:57:11] Speaker A: You were the last ones in there. You think Sean's probably still in there?
[00:57:16] Speaker B: Oh, Sean's probably still in there. Okay.
[00:57:19] Speaker C: In the cage.
[00:57:19] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, unless the cage automatically crushed him or something on lockdown.
[00:57:25] Speaker B: I'm gonna put my coat over my head and try to go through that room to see if there's. If it's only Sean. And go. He'll just see a guy in a dark coat with that over his head.
[00:57:35] Speaker C: Was the cage magical?
[00:57:39] Speaker A: Oh, you're not sure? It. It wasn't, like, made of, like, purple wavy lines? It seemed to be made of some sort of metal.
[00:57:48] Speaker C: Yeah, but didn't he sort of conjure it up? I can't remember how that works.
[00:57:51] Speaker A: It rose out of the floor.
[00:57:53] Speaker C: Ah, right.
[00:57:54] Speaker A: With lots of.
[00:57:56] Speaker B: Sorry, I didn't mean to distract too much or anything. I just. I was just.
[00:57:59] Speaker A: All right, so, yeah, you duck through.
[00:58:00] Speaker C: I'll allow it.
[00:58:01] Speaker A: The lounge slash courtroom. Sean Indigo is still in the cage in the corner. If you're peeking. If you're not peeking, you just hear, Oi, what's going on out there, mate?
[00:58:14] Speaker B: I ignore him.
[00:58:16] Speaker A: Hey, I'm stuck in here.
Don't you run away from me. I'm Sean Indigo, mate.
Also, the room is very dark. All of the windows are covered.
[00:58:29] Speaker B: Oh, geez. All right.
[00:58:32] Speaker E: You know, this is the one moment where it would actually make sense for Sean Indigo to say, rnr.
[00:58:39] Speaker B: Darken her.
[00:58:41] Speaker E: And you've refused Nora.
[00:58:44] Speaker A: I can't see my part far.
[00:58:48] Speaker E: There we go.
[00:58:49] Speaker F: That's the money shot.
[00:58:53] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:58:54] Speaker B: You.
[00:58:54] Speaker A: You cut through and head back the other up the other way.
Kick. So you've gone down the stairs and are checking on the fishing hole.
The door is Unlocked, but you go in, and where there was a big open space to cast your line is now just a wall.
[00:59:18] Speaker D: I'm gonna push on it a little bit.
[00:59:21] Speaker A: It does not give.
It feels solid.
[00:59:26] Speaker D: It's not like. It's not just a cover or.
[00:59:29] Speaker A: Right. It's not. Luan.
It's not like a tarp.
[00:59:33] Speaker D: But I mean, it's not like slats that have been dropped down or like, you know, it's like attached somehow. Yeah, it looks solid or built into the ship somehow.
[00:59:43] Speaker A: Uh huh.
[00:59:44] Speaker D: All right.
[00:59:45] Speaker A: Significant.
[00:59:49] Speaker D: All right, well, I still haven't found a way out.
Also, though, there's further to the left of the ship there.
[00:59:57] Speaker A: That's where the captain went after he talked to you.
[01:00:02] Speaker D: I see.
So that could be like the bridge or something.
Man. There is no good place to go.
[01:00:15] Speaker A: And as you're looking down that hallway, you see the captain come out of a door way, way, way down there. Looks like he's talking to some people. It's far enough away. You can't really hear what he's saying, but it sounds like he's maybe issuing orders. And then he's turning to start to come back up towards you.
[01:00:32] Speaker D: Okay.
Is there a door on this fishing hole? Is it. Was it closed?
[01:00:37] Speaker A: It was closed, yep.
[01:00:39] Speaker D: And it's open now.
[01:00:40] Speaker A: You opened it to go in.
[01:00:43] Speaker D: I see.
I'm going to try to close it quickly because he's coming this way with you inside.
Yeah.
[01:00:52] Speaker A: Okay.
[01:00:54] Speaker B: All right.
[01:00:54] Speaker A: You close the door.
[01:00:56] Speaker D: All right.
Then I think I'm gonna. I'm gonna lay down like I'm taking a nap.
[01:01:06] Speaker A: Okay.
All right.
[01:01:09] Speaker C: There. You're not gonna come back?
[01:01:11] Speaker D: No.
[01:01:12] Speaker C: Fair enough.
[01:01:13] Speaker D: I mean, I.
The captain told me to go somewhere else and I didn't listen to him, so.
[01:01:18] Speaker C: I see. You're trying to be defiant.
[01:01:20] Speaker D: No, I'm trying to hedge. Like, maybe he won't come in here.
[01:01:26] Speaker A: Oh. It's like when you play hide and seek, when someone looks in the spot and then they leave and then you go hide in that spot, Right?
[01:01:33] Speaker D: Yeah, something exactly. Exactly like that. He's never going to look in here. Right, Eric?
[01:01:39] Speaker A: Right.
All right, so you hear the footsteps of the captain.
[01:01:44] Speaker D: If anyone's. But the reason I'm laying on the ground is because then I can plausibly explain what I'm doing in here in a very kick way.
[01:01:55] Speaker A: All right, so you hear footsteps approach. The captain's a large figure, and these wooden floors. The sound resonates.
And you're worried that he might be coming up to the door, but then they Start to fade. So it looks like he maybe walked past the door and it's going somewhere else.
Will, you're heading to your room, correct?
[01:02:20] Speaker F: Yes.
[01:02:21] Speaker A: All right. So you head up, you look over to the left, and you see the owlbear still standing there, facing your friends, your good, good, good best friends.
And you keep going, leaving them to their fate, and head over to your room.
[01:02:38] Speaker B: They can handle an owl bear.
[01:02:40] Speaker A: As you get over to the sort of the. The place where most of these. These rooms are.
[01:02:45] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:02:46] Speaker A: In the hallway is standing both Gnar and Sue Broadmoor.
[01:02:51] Speaker B: Oh, great.
[01:02:53] Speaker C: Oh, man.
[01:02:54] Speaker A: And they look to you. They looks like they were.
[01:02:56] Speaker B: Well, I have. I have my coat over my head still. That's how I'm walking around, Right?
[01:03:00] Speaker A: That's true.
So they look over to you and say, oh, hello. Do you work on the ship? Yes. What's.
[01:03:11] Speaker F: What's.
[01:03:11] Speaker A: What's happening?
[01:03:12] Speaker B: Excuse me. Excuse me. I go into my room. I try to just make my way to my broom.
[01:03:17] Speaker A: Excuse me.
[01:03:19] Speaker B: I'm a passenger. Leave me alone.
[01:03:22] Speaker A: Who are you?
[01:03:23] Speaker B: Leave me alone. Leave me alone.
[01:03:26] Speaker A: And you just go into your room?
[01:03:27] Speaker B: Yes.
[01:03:28] Speaker A: Okay. They're not going to physically rip your coat off of you or anything?
[01:03:31] Speaker B: Exactly. I'm being weird, but I don't care.
I'm in mourning.
[01:03:34] Speaker A: What a shady creature.
[01:03:37] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:03:37] Speaker A: Maybe he's responsible for all this.
All right, sue, you go into your room and it is empty.
It's a weird smell.
[01:03:47] Speaker B: I still have.
[01:03:48] Speaker A: It's empty.
[01:03:49] Speaker B: I have my coat.
[01:03:50] Speaker E: Weird smell.
[01:03:51] Speaker B: I have my. My coat over my head still. And I'm looking around like, what the. I'm in the closet like this. That's where I thought we put our stuff.
[01:03:59] Speaker A: I'm like, there's no closet. There's a. There was like a drawers.
[01:04:01] Speaker B: Oh, drawers. Okay. Yeah. Like, I'm looking through fish.
[01:04:05] Speaker F: What?
[01:04:07] Speaker B: No idea what that means.
It's like, where is all my shit? What is happening?
[01:04:20] Speaker A: Hey, everyone. If you like what you hear, please leave us a kind review wherever you listen to us. Also, consider supporting us by subscribing to us on ko [email protected] support PFD, where you can gain access to lots of exclusive treats and behind the scenes goodies. Thanks for listening and we'll see you next time.
