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[00:00:20] Speaker B: You're listening to the show about Patrick Warburton as Owly Berry. It's Pork Fried Dice.
I'm Eric and I'm the Dungeon Master.
[00:00:31] Speaker C: I'm Abby and I play Raphina.
[00:00:34] Speaker D: I'm Alex and I play Batwack.
[00:00:37] Speaker A: I'm KT and I play Will.
[00:00:41] Speaker E: I'm Adam and I play Roscoe.
[00:00:46] Speaker B: Hold on to your haversacks. Let's roll.
All right, so you go into your room, and it is empty.
There's a weird smell.
That's empty.
[00:01:01] Speaker A: I have my coat.
[00:01:02] Speaker E: There's a weird smell.
[00:01:03] Speaker A: I have my coat over my head still. And I'm looking around like, what the fuck? I'm in the closet like this. That's where I thought we put our stuff.
[00:01:11] Speaker B: I'm like, there's no closet. There's a. There was like, a drawers.
[00:01:13] Speaker A: Oh, drawers. Okay. Yeah. Like, I'm looking through drawers and fish.
[00:01:17] Speaker E: What?
No.
[00:01:19] Speaker A: Has no idea what that means.
He's like, where is all my shit?
What is happening?
[00:01:28] Speaker C: It's a little threatening to find dead fish in your drawers, too.
[00:01:32] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly.
Oh, my God.
[00:01:36] Speaker B: Did you close the door behind you?
[00:01:38] Speaker A: Yeah, definitely.
[00:01:39] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:01:39] Speaker A: I think he just sits down on the bed.
[00:01:42] Speaker B: Like.
[00:01:42] Speaker A: Like hover. Like, hovers over the bed. Almost, like, can't even sit. He's so tense. He's like, I don't know where my is. I don't know where anything is.
[00:01:51] Speaker B: Closed, like, covered.
Oh, my God. Fuck.
[00:01:55] Speaker A: All right. He just sits there and tries to collect his thoughts for a minute.
[00:01:58] Speaker B: And there's a knocking on the door.
[00:02:02] Speaker A: Uh, hello.
Uh, hello?
[00:02:06] Speaker B: He says right back, yes, hello.
[00:02:09] Speaker A: What do you want?
[00:02:10] Speaker B: What's going on? What do you. Who are you?
[00:02:12] Speaker A: I am a passenger on the ship, just like you. Leave me alone.
What do you mean you haven't seen me? Just. You haven't seen me in this outfit. It's Valencio Beigeman. I'm looking around, trying to, like, find anything that I could. There must be a blanket on the bed, right? I put the blanket on. I put the blanket on my head, and then I. And then I.
I, like. I put the blanket on. Like, it's like a big, like, over my head. I hold it under my chin like this, and I. And I Stand back from the door. And I open it like so they can't see the color of my eyes because I don't actually know what the color of Valencia's beige. They're beige. Exactly. They're not the shade of brown that Wills are. That's for sure. So he's just like, what do you want? I'm in mourning. Leave me alone.
[00:02:55] Speaker B: Why? Why are all the windows closed? What was that noise?
[00:02:59] Speaker A: I don't know what's happening, but there's a creature loose on the ship. You might want to get into your rooms.
[00:03:04] Speaker B: Oh, is that. Oh, my. Yeah, sue, come on.
Sorry. Yes. Close the door. Be safe.
[00:03:12] Speaker A: Yeah. Thanks, Gnar.
[00:03:13] Speaker B: Do you need anything?
[00:03:14] Speaker A: Close the door in his face.
[00:03:17] Speaker E: Are Gnar and Sue fucking?
[00:03:21] Speaker A: Maybe Adam just wants everyone to fuck. Is everyone fucking on his boat? I hope so.
SS Ababone.
[00:03:32] Speaker E: Yes.
[00:03:33] Speaker A: Have a boney.
[00:03:34] Speaker E: SS Absolute.
[00:03:40] Speaker A: I love it. All right, I'm writing it down. SS Have a boney.
[00:03:44] Speaker B: All right. Meanwhile, the owl bear. You guys is starting to slowly advance on you. Rosco, rafina and the NPCs.
[00:03:55] Speaker E: I tried praying. I don't know what's happening. Rafina is your friend.
[00:03:59] Speaker C: Flaps her arms harder.
[00:04:01] Speaker B: It flaps its wings once and you feel the gust of wind as it does.
[00:04:06] Speaker C: So do I get the sense. Should I roll for if it's menacing the way it flaps, Give me a nature check. I will.
[00:04:14] Speaker B: We are playing D and D after all.
[00:04:16] Speaker C: I almost forgot.
Nature check. Nature check. I'm going to roll a nature check.
[00:04:28] Speaker B: Oops.
[00:04:29] Speaker C: Was that the right one? That was the right one.
[00:04:33] Speaker B: I mean, you don't know. It could be lots of things. It could be like a mating ritual thing. It might want to. Hey, maybe it wants to sue or Gnar. You never know. But they're not there.
[00:04:45] Speaker C: I got a three, guys.
[00:04:48] Speaker B: It could be wanting to rip your heads off.
Maybe it still is trying to talk to you. You guys had a thing for a second there.
[00:04:55] Speaker C: Like, Rafina turns to the wall and mimics pecking at it.
[00:05:02] Speaker B: Okay.
Do I need to roll for damage or mimics? Oh, okay.
[00:05:09] Speaker C: Her nose isn't that big.
[00:05:11] Speaker A: Chunk. Chunk.
[00:05:12] Speaker B: Oh, is that something she's sensitive about?
[00:05:15] Speaker C: Abby's sensitive about Raphina's nose size.
[00:05:19] Speaker B: After seeing all these drawings.
[00:05:22] Speaker E: I didn't make it that bad.
[00:05:29] Speaker B: It's. It's still coming.
Guys, should we go this way maybe?
[00:05:37] Speaker C: Well, sure, let's try. Let's go that way. Come on, everybody.
[00:05:41] Speaker E: Roscoe tries to think back to his. His experience, his history with, like, his knowledge of owl bears, and tries to remember whether or not it's good to run away from an owl pair or if you're supposed to stand your ground.
[00:05:58] Speaker C: Or lie on the ground like Kick is doing somewhere else.
[00:06:01] Speaker B: Give me either a nature or a history check.
[00:06:06] Speaker E: Yeah, I'll do a nature check.
[00:06:13] Speaker B: A 12.
You think that.
I mean, standing your ground doesn't necessarily deter them. Running away might incite them to chase after you. But this one already seems to be interested in you, so you feel like you probably want to get some distance between you and it.
[00:06:40] Speaker A: Thinking about it. Thinking about it.
[00:06:44] Speaker B: And just Roscoe's left.
[00:06:55] Speaker E: I feel like running away is a bad idea because then it becomes a chase.
[00:06:59] Speaker A: Right?
[00:06:59] Speaker C: We're not running. We're just. We're just moseying, sauntering.
Rafina sachets the bottom of her dress to make it look like it's just a casual.
We're headed down the hallway sort of social movement.
[00:07:14] Speaker B: Scrapes its talon on the ground. Oh.
[00:07:16] Speaker A: Oh, no.
[00:07:19] Speaker C: Oh, owl bear.
[00:07:21] Speaker E: And it's looking straight at me. Just.
[00:07:23] Speaker B: All of you.
[00:07:26] Speaker C: Rufina is trying to appeal to him. I know you can't understand me because there's no magic. She gestures over her head right now. Oh, but. And then she mimics hugging him to remind him that they had a nice hug.
[00:07:44] Speaker A: Okay, hug.
[00:07:47] Speaker B: Give me another nature check.
[00:07:49] Speaker C: No, I don't like those.
[00:07:52] Speaker B: You can't do worse than a three. I mean, you can.
[00:07:55] Speaker C: Yes, I can.
Don't dare me.
[00:08:02] Speaker B: A nine. Okay, it's a little better.
So you're. You're hugging. And it raises its wings up, takes another step forward.
And then you hear from the hallway beyond. What in the hell?
And the owlbear turns, and that voice was the captain's.
You don't see him yet, but he clearly has spotted the owlbear. And the owlbearer turns and moves out of sight.
[00:08:38] Speaker A: Oh, weird.
[00:08:40] Speaker B: Towards the voice.
Oh, okay.
[00:08:45] Speaker A: All right. We'll just let him get killed and we have the shit.
Is this really what's happening?
[00:08:56] Speaker B: That you start to hear those noises? Yeah.
[00:08:58] Speaker C: Oh, crap.
[00:09:02] Speaker A: I'm not there. Do I.
[00:09:03] Speaker B: Let's run.
[00:09:04] Speaker A: Oh, God.
[00:09:05] Speaker C: That seems like the natural thing to do right now.
[00:09:07] Speaker E: Okay, Ross, where are we running?
[00:09:11] Speaker B: Towards the lounge. Like at the courtroom.
[00:09:14] Speaker E: Roscoe is gonna quick peek into the room next to Shawn Indigo's and see if the mic in. It's in there.
[00:09:25] Speaker B: Oh, like through the hole. You're gonna go into Sean Indigo's room and then go into the hole.
[00:09:30] Speaker E: Oh, is the. Is the door locked?
[00:09:32] Speaker B: The door is on the other Side of the boat.
[00:09:35] Speaker E: Oh, right.
[00:09:38] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:09:39] Speaker E: The Mikey that's gonna have to wait.
[00:09:43] Speaker B: Poor guy. Okay.
[00:09:45] Speaker E: I mean, I guess I could go through like. Yeah. What's. What. What is the downside of just going back through this door and peeking through the hole again? Like, there's now a. The owlbear's free and we're under lockdown and the captain's about to be murdered. So Roscoe is gonna go. Is gonna go back in and stay. Mushroom fucker.
[00:10:08] Speaker B: You hear in your head me?
[00:10:12] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:10:13] Speaker E: Yo. Ah, some shit's going on going down.
[00:10:16] Speaker B: And if you.
[00:10:18] Speaker E: You want me to get you home, I think you're probably gonna have to come with me.
[00:10:22] Speaker B: And it from you're not sure where it hops down onto your shoulder.
[00:10:28] Speaker E: All right, Very cute. Okay, here we go.
[00:10:30] Speaker B: He tugs on your earlobe. Thanks for coming back.
[00:10:33] Speaker E: Oh, that tickles. Ow.
[00:10:36] Speaker B: Ow.
Sorry.
[00:10:39] Speaker E: Rosco.
[00:10:40] Speaker B: Will.
[00:10:40] Speaker E: Will leave and close the door again and follow everybody to the lounge.
[00:10:44] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:10:45] Speaker E: Oh, but. And he's. But he is going to hide the m. Like in his pocket or something. Like you kind of get tucked away. Cuz I think this Sean Indigo still in here.
[00:10:54] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:10:54] Speaker B: Yeah, it's nice in here. It's dark and moist.
[00:10:57] Speaker E: Yeah, that's not water.
[00:11:00] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:11:02] Speaker E: Mustard.
[00:11:05] Speaker A: Okay, sure.
[00:11:06] Speaker E: It's moist. Moisted.
[00:11:07] Speaker B: Moisturize.
[00:11:09] Speaker A: There's any vinegar in that mustard, it's going to kill that fungus. Oh, no. Oh, no.
[00:11:14] Speaker E: Does vinegar kill fungus?
[00:11:16] Speaker A: Yeah, I should have told Eric that. Eric doesn't know that. Look at him. No, it's. It's personally derived mustard. So it's made of urea.
[00:11:25] Speaker B: Oh, okay. Ammonia.
[00:11:27] Speaker A: Urea is substituted for the vinegar and funguses thrive in urea. I don't.
[00:11:33] Speaker C: I don't know that in this world.
[00:11:35] Speaker A: In this world. Myconids love Uriah.
[00:11:42] Speaker B: Finally I don't have to be the DM anymore. Go on.
[00:11:45] Speaker A: Okay. Uria. Uria. Ur. That's the only word I can say. You know what I am scared about, though? What if the captain kills the owl bear? You guys, not that I can do anything about it, but. Oh, well. Cross.
[00:11:58] Speaker C: Oh, he doesn't have a chance. What if he's.
[00:12:02] Speaker E: That is a problem.
[00:12:04] Speaker C: It's a problem either way.
[00:12:05] Speaker E: But it's not our problem. We freed the out bear. That's.
We held up ourselves.
[00:12:18] Speaker B: All right, so you guys head into the courtroom, okay?
Oh, great. You guys, what's happening? It got dark in here and I heard some weird noises.
[00:12:30] Speaker A: Oh, that's Sean. Indigo, babe. It sounds like Shimi. You gotta say.
[00:12:33] Speaker B: No, it doesn't I'm shimmy. And I'm shot. Indigo.
[00:12:40] Speaker A: This is so helpful.
[00:12:41] Speaker E: Listen, the ship's on lockdown, all right? Oh, probably because of some more your traps went off.
[00:12:49] Speaker B: More of my traps? What are you talking about? This is all illegal.
[00:12:53] Speaker A: Yeah, that's what.
[00:12:54] Speaker E: This whole thing, this whole trial is because of you.
[00:12:58] Speaker B: No, it's because of this guy trying to break into my room, mate.
[00:13:05] Speaker E: Oh, thanks for clarifying. It was talking.
[00:13:07] Speaker B: Yep.
Oh, I didn't try to break into your room, chap. Yeah, you did, mate. No, I didn't Chap.
[00:13:17] Speaker E: Tap.
[00:13:18] Speaker B: Mate.
[00:13:18] Speaker C: Chap.
[00:13:19] Speaker E: Mate, it's perfect.
[00:13:22] Speaker B: It's so good.
[00:13:23] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
[00:13:25] Speaker B: Oh, well, whatever, mate. I. I'm still trapped in this cage. Hey, you guys want to get me out of here?
[00:13:32] Speaker C: No, we're mad at you.
[00:13:33] Speaker B: Nor.
[00:13:37] Speaker E: She said no. Can you just say no?
[00:13:41] Speaker B: Nor. I can't say nor. I can only say Nor, mate.
[00:13:49] Speaker A: I'm married to this.
[00:13:53] Speaker B: So what are you doing in here? Are you more out to exact some more? This convoluted justice. That's not the right accent at all.
[00:14:04] Speaker E: Just say mate. You're fine.
[00:14:09] Speaker B: Convoluted Jussie. They probably call it Jussie. Right?
[00:14:13] Speaker A: For justice. Jussie.
That was a Bluey episode I saw.
[00:14:19] Speaker E: Jussie Smollett.
[00:14:21] Speaker A: Smollett.
[00:14:22] Speaker E: Talk about justice.
[00:14:24] Speaker A: Jeez Louise.
Oh, man.
[00:14:29] Speaker E: We're hiding because.
I don't know, all the doors got locked and there's a creature that's on the loose out there.
[00:14:41] Speaker B: Oh, what?
[00:14:42] Speaker C: Yes, from your room. It was unsafe.
It's unsafe that he had those unsafe animals and now they're wreaking habit.
[00:14:51] Speaker B: You let go.
[00:14:53] Speaker A: We didn't let anyone go.
[00:14:54] Speaker E: We're just assuming that it's one of your animals.
[00:14:57] Speaker B: Why?
[00:14:58] Speaker C: It's gotta be. Who else would have an animal?
[00:15:00] Speaker B: You do. Look at that cat made out of bones.
[00:15:06] Speaker E: Wait, is Roscoe on board?
[00:15:08] Speaker B: Yeah. And look at that dog.
He's like a dingo, but a dog.
[00:15:14] Speaker E: Completely lost track of that dog. Has it just been there the whole time?
[00:15:19] Speaker A: It happens all the time.
[00:15:20] Speaker C: If you look down at it, for sure.
[00:15:23] Speaker B: So happy that you finally paid attention to it.
[00:15:26] Speaker E: That's really sad.
[00:15:28] Speaker A: You look over at the terrarium, it does the same thing.
Captain Clock face too.
[00:15:35] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:15:37] Speaker A: Anybody we forgot about? Yes.
[00:15:40] Speaker B: Braum looks.
[00:15:41] Speaker E: Nick's decapitated head.
[00:15:44] Speaker A: Nick's decapitated. Oh, no.
Oh, my God.
Okay, Sean hears that an animal is loose. It's my last note.
[00:15:58] Speaker B: So what? Which one? Who's loose?
This could be bad. I got some. Some. We don't know, it's specimens. It's dark.
[00:16:08] Speaker C: I don't know his name.
[00:16:10] Speaker B: Oh, I mean, you could describe it to me.
[00:16:14] Speaker C: Well, big, and it makes a lot of noise.
[00:16:18] Speaker B: That's a great description. Anybody else got any better descriptive words to use? Mates?
[00:16:27] Speaker C: I don't want to give.
[00:16:28] Speaker E: You can't handle the descriptive words.
[00:16:32] Speaker B: Oh, is that like, because we're in a courtroom? Is it like a court?
[00:16:36] Speaker E: Yeah. So you've seen that play, right?
[00:16:38] Speaker B: Yeah, of course I have.
[00:16:40] Speaker E: Listen, we're not giving you any information. We're just hanging out here till the captain gets back. Okay?
[00:16:47] Speaker B: Hey, everyone. And creature people are in here. Hello.
He's screaming.
[00:16:55] Speaker E: Yeah, you can scream all you want. We want the story to progress.
[00:17:02] Speaker B: So is Will just staying in his room?
[00:17:07] Speaker A: No.
[00:17:08] Speaker B: What's he doing?
[00:17:09] Speaker A: He. After he centers himself, that's gonna be my next question. All right, well, you can tell me after he sits there and panics for a second because he's begin. He was relying on his magic, and he has none of his items. Nothing.
He. Like I said, he had wrapped himself in that blanket, and then he. Instead he goes through the bed and he takes the sheets. There must be sheets. This is a nice ship. They must be nice sheets. I'm gonna wrap them around myself in a way that's kind of like zulberdia. Ish. Not to be zulberity, but like wrapping them around myself to disguise my body as much as I can. And then I'm gonna leave calmly and just walk through. Well, actually worried about the owl bear eating me, but trying to get back to where everybody is.
[00:17:53] Speaker B: Okay, so you go back into the hallway. Nar and sue are nowhere to be seen.
[00:17:57] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:17:58] Speaker B: So you're gonna head back towards that general direction.
[00:18:01] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:18:01] Speaker B: Where you had seen everybody. Okay, got it. Kick, your nap is done.
Sounds like.
[00:18:07] Speaker D: Yeah, it was very brief. It was really just for the captain to pass by.
[00:18:10] Speaker B: Okay, cool. You pass by.
[00:18:12] Speaker D: I guess. I don't. I don't have any way of knowing whether or not I still have my disguise. Unless I find a mirror.
Would I feel the fact that there's an anti magic field?
[00:18:25] Speaker B: I don't think necessarily, unless you try to use magic.
[00:18:32] Speaker C: I mean, you would look like bethwag. Right. So can't you look at your hand or something?
Wouldn't you look at your hand?
[00:18:39] Speaker B: How different is your bathwack hand compared to your kick hand?
[00:18:44] Speaker D: I don't know. Probably not that different.
[00:18:46] Speaker C: What about your clothing?
[00:18:48] Speaker D: The thing is, I bought the clothing.
[00:18:50] Speaker C: Oh, I forgot.
[00:18:51] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:18:51] Speaker C: And I can't Handle your disguises.
[00:18:53] Speaker D: Yeah. So I. I mean, if you tried.
[00:18:56] Speaker B: To make your hand a different color or something. Yeah. You could potentially notice that as you, like, reach out to open the door.
[00:19:05] Speaker D: Yeah, well, that's what I'm doing. But I. I'm not sure. I'm. Did I really.
[00:19:10] Speaker C: I don't know, roll for nose itch and then see, if you're. You need to itch your nose and then you touch your.
[00:19:16] Speaker B: Still wouldn't know.
[00:19:16] Speaker D: Yeah, but I still wouldn't know. That's an illusion. Yeah.
[00:19:20] Speaker C: Dumbest.
[00:19:21] Speaker D: Now, my. And I'm wearing. Yeah. I mean, everything else is pretty good. I've got the hat.
[00:19:27] Speaker B: Disguise is too good.
[00:19:28] Speaker D: Yep. I, I. Sorry. I think. I don't know unless I'm really looking at my fingernails or something. I mean, forget it. Yeah.
So I know where the captain was.
[00:19:43] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:19:44] Speaker D: And I know there are people down there.
Okay.
I am going to walk.
I'm gonna start walking down that hall.
[00:19:55] Speaker B: Where he came from.
[00:19:57] Speaker D: Where he came from.
[00:19:57] Speaker B: Okay. Yeah, got it. All right, so you head down that hallway.
[00:20:03] Speaker D: I heard the captain go away. I kind of assume he went up the stairs.
[00:20:07] Speaker B: But you don't see him anywhere?
[00:20:09] Speaker D: I don't see him. I mean, I know he's gone.
[00:20:12] Speaker B: I guess. You do hear some noises.
[00:20:13] Speaker D: He could have gone around the corner.
[00:20:14] Speaker B: You do hear some noises up the stairs. Some grunts and things like that.
[00:20:23] Speaker D: All right, well, I. I mean, I know they told me the owl bears out, right?
Yes, I think so.
[00:20:33] Speaker C: Oh, that's a good question. I don't know.
[00:20:34] Speaker D: I mean, I know that I don't remember, but I. I think so. I think so. But regardless, I know that there is an owl bear. So anyway, I'm gonna. My intention was to figure out what's down this hallway where the captain was.
[00:20:50] Speaker B: Cool.
[00:20:51] Speaker D: So.
[00:20:51] Speaker B: So, yeah, you.
[00:20:52] Speaker D: I'm gonna walk down there. And I'm walking down as if I'm kick. And I am lost.
[00:20:56] Speaker B: Got it. Okay.
[00:20:57] Speaker D: Yep. I don't want to really run into people, but, you know, I'm not doing something especially.
[00:21:04] Speaker B: Sure.
[00:21:05] Speaker D: Sneaky.
[00:21:06] Speaker B: So you head down.
There's a hallway that goes off to your right.
The place that he was was a little further down. There's a door in the hallway that is. He had closed behind him. As you're walking down, though, the door opens and a bunch of people come out of different shapes and sizes and colors.
[00:21:30] Speaker D: Oh, dang. I'm gonna duck out to the right if I can. Do I have time?
[00:21:34] Speaker B: Give me a.
I don't know, a deck save or Something. Yeah. Deck save. See how quickly you can react.
[00:21:47] Speaker D: Say I don't get any bonuses or.
[00:21:51] Speaker B: No, you.
[00:21:51] Speaker D: I don't know if those are magical or if they're.
[00:21:54] Speaker B: Oh, I.
[00:21:56] Speaker D: Or if they're.
[00:21:57] Speaker B: Well, right now it doesn't matter. Fifteen is good enough. We can figure that out later, I guess, if it comes up. But you. Yeah, you. You duck over. You think that you maybe escaped being seen as. There's some people that come up and you can. There's another. The hallway sort of cuts around again back the other way. So if you wanted to duck more out of view, you could like round another corner.
[00:22:27] Speaker D: I was gonna try a door there. Can I. There's a door right in front of me on the left hand side of the hallway.
[00:22:34] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:22:37] Speaker D: It seems so risky now. I'm gonna. I'm gonna duck around the corner here for a minute.
[00:22:43] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:22:44] Speaker D: And wait for them to pass if I can.
[00:22:48] Speaker B: Yeah. So you.
[00:22:48] Speaker D: So I'm. So I've. I've. So I've gone. I've taken a right and run, you know, gone down the hallway to get out of the way and then gone back up the hallway. The. On the other side of the ship. Yeah.
[00:22:59] Speaker B: And yeah, if you're peeking around, you can see them, but if not, you hear them, there's a bunch of you think crew members heading up that hallway back the way towards where you came from.
[00:23:12] Speaker D: Okay. I'm gonna wait for them to pass. Oh, go ahead.
[00:23:17] Speaker B: What?
[00:23:19] Speaker E: I just need to know. So was there any answer to Roscoe's prayer to the Albatross?
[00:23:25] Speaker B: No.
[00:23:28] Speaker E: Because I'm just remembering that the reason. The main reason Roscoe started.
I don't know, it was not driven by the fact that the. The Albert was approaching, but it was driven by like knowing like, oh, if Will's disguise is gone, so is Bathwax.
So I guess after the outbear left, we went to the lounge. Roscoe, I think it would be in line with his character to be. To be thinking and reflecting back to like the last time like Bathwax disguise went away.
[00:24:09] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:24:10] Speaker E: You were there and he didn't know and Roscoe had to point it out.
[00:24:15] Speaker B: Uhuh.
[00:24:16] Speaker E: Roscoe's been like lo in a very lawyerly, lawyerly way, kind of pacing in the lounge and then Will decide that he needs to go find Bathwack.
[00:24:28] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:24:29] Speaker E: Because that's the big thing right now is.
[00:24:33] Speaker B: Yeah, like, sure.
[00:24:34] Speaker E: It's just Bathwack cannot be seen and Roscoe knows that Bathwack can't tell when his disguise goes away. So I'm just throwing it out there that Roscoe is looking for bathwater.
[00:24:48] Speaker B: Cool. All right, so you leave. Do you tell anybody you're leaving or why you're leaving?
[00:24:52] Speaker E: Nah, Roscoe just leaves.
[00:24:53] Speaker B: Okay.
All right.
[00:25:00] Speaker E: Sorry to interrupt.
[00:25:00] Speaker B: No, no, no, it's good. I need to know that that's important.
Will, where are you headed? You're headed back to where you remembered people?
[00:25:10] Speaker A: Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I'm like. I'm trying to keep up the Beigeman, like, ruse, but I don't know if I'm gonna be able to do it.
[00:25:21] Speaker B: So you head back towards them. Are you going, like, the way you came or the way. You know what I mean? Like, there's the two hallways on either side of the ship.
[00:25:38] Speaker A: Am I in the right place? Like, that's where we would.
[00:25:40] Speaker B: That's kind of where I pictured you last.
[00:25:41] Speaker A: Okay, so you're saying which hallway to pick?
[00:25:44] Speaker B: Yeah.
I honestly don't know that it necessarily matters why I'm asking.
[00:25:51] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I'll just run into Roscoe if that's what you're trying to figure out, whether we run into each other. I'd love to run into Roscoe.
[00:25:59] Speaker B: So you head up the hallway, and Roscoe, you head out of the lounge, and.
Oh, Roscoe's going that way. All right, you both.
[00:26:09] Speaker E: Well, not necessarily. I'm trying to decide because.
[00:26:16] Speaker B: Excuse me. Excuse me.
[00:26:22] Speaker E: Yeah, I was thinking going back this way and then peeking around the corner and making sure, like, okay, the owl bear is detained and all that stuff.
[00:26:31] Speaker B: So you'd have to come up to here to see around the corner. And Will. You both kind of meet right at this junction.
Will is swathed. Swathed.
[00:26:44] Speaker A: Swathed.
[00:26:45] Speaker B: Swathed in swaddling clouts.
What the fuck?
What?
[00:26:55] Speaker A: I love you, Weird. Love me? Yes, of course I do.
[00:26:59] Speaker B: Because you're swathed in swaddling clothes.
[00:27:02] Speaker A: What the hell is going on?
[00:27:05] Speaker B: So you both. You both meet each other. Rosco looks like Roscoe. Will looks like an SNL character from the 70s that wouldn't be on TV today.
[00:27:25] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:27:27] Speaker B: And you both turn and look down the hallway where the owlbear had gone, and you see a hall full of carnage.
There's blood everywhere.
The owlbear is lying on the ground. The captain is lying on the ground.
[00:27:47] Speaker A: Oh, God.
[00:27:49] Speaker B: And as you peek around, the captain is on his belly and he's like. He looks up weakly and sees you and starts trying to crawl towards you.
And he is leaving behind a lot of fluid as he does.
[00:28:05] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
I look at you, Roscoe I think you might. Can heal. I do this.
[00:28:10] Speaker C: I'm like, ah, not with the magic.
Not with. Without the magic.
[00:28:16] Speaker A: Oh, magic.
[00:28:19] Speaker C: Rafina tries to. Because maybe with the. No, because he's not dead.
[00:28:23] Speaker A: You're not there, though, right?
[00:28:25] Speaker C: Oh, shoot.
[00:28:26] Speaker B: You could have.
[00:28:26] Speaker E: Unless you saw Roscoe.
[00:28:28] Speaker C: I thought. Yeah, okay, you're not gonna want to.
[00:28:30] Speaker B: Be left in a room with four NPCs.
You'll be forgotten, too.
[00:28:36] Speaker A: I also tried to. I also tried to yell her name.
[00:28:40] Speaker E: Honestly.
[00:28:41] Speaker B: Like.
[00:28:41] Speaker E: Honestly, Roscoe is not trying to leave alone or trying to be. And frankly, like, Rafina is the most valuable asset on the ship because of her relationship with the captain, so, yeah.
[00:28:52] Speaker C: It won't be for long.
[00:28:54] Speaker E: Well.
[00:28:55] Speaker B: And, yeah, he looks up at you and says, what?
[00:29:05] Speaker E: Okay. Okay.
Are you.
[00:29:09] Speaker A: I'll kneel down.
[00:29:10] Speaker E: I'll kneel down. Oh, no, you.
[00:29:12] Speaker A: I'm, like, covered in sheets, and I'm like, sir. Magic. Magic. We need magic to heal you.
[00:29:25] Speaker B: And he collapses.
[00:29:27] Speaker A: Oh, great.
Okay. Have we witnessed any way of calling servants, Phil? Yes, I say I scream it.
[00:29:37] Speaker E: While Will does that, Roscoe will kneel down and try to, like, use old circus medicine tricks to, like, stop the bleeding.
[00:29:48] Speaker C: Like a giant bandaid.
[00:29:50] Speaker E: And endless. He keeps pulling a bandage out of his pocket.
[00:29:57] Speaker B: I love the giant bandaid.
[00:30:00] Speaker E: Giant band aid.
[00:30:03] Speaker B: Oh, that's so funny to me.
Oh, excuse me. Oh, my God. I was just picturing. Just tiger blood. Infusions of tiger blood and drinking tiger blood and rubbing poultices of tiger blood from all the tigers that die.
[00:30:20] Speaker E: Yes, exactly. But so Roscoe's legitimately trying to. It's weird, actually. It's probably like a weird, like, ptsd.
[00:30:27] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:30:29] Speaker E: Moment back to seeing Tanya's father be torn apart by lions.
[00:30:35] Speaker B: Yeah. After you pushed him in.
[00:30:38] Speaker E: And so he's like. He has this moment where he wants to run away, but he overcomes it, and instead, he's gonna try to. He's gonna try to save the captain.
[00:30:47] Speaker B: Bravery. All right, give me a medicine check.
[00:30:50] Speaker E: All right, here we go. This is the money shot, Roscoe. This is where the rubber hits the road.
[00:30:55] Speaker B: All right?
[00:30:55] Speaker E: This is the bread and the butter.
All right, Roscoe.
You got this, Doc. Roscoe.
[00:31:07] Speaker B: All right, so you got a 12. All right, so you get up to the. The captain. He's collapsed on his face.
You try to flip him over. You're able to.
He's a big man, but you can. You can get him up onto his back, and you see that he's basically been eviscerated.
[00:31:27] Speaker E: Oh, Jesus Christ.
[00:31:32] Speaker B: And why did he mess with the owl bear.
[00:31:35] Speaker C: What an idiot.
[00:31:37] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean do you have any straw handy or.
I don't know what else they have in the circus. Cotton candy.
[00:31:48] Speaker D: Is he making a. Is he making a scarecrow?
[00:31:51] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:31:54] Speaker E: Let's take a look here. What does Roscoe have?
Well.
[00:32:05] Speaker B: Sounds good.
[00:32:06] Speaker E: If he needs to provide some comfort in his dying moments, he could cover him in an owlbear pelt.
[00:32:14] Speaker A: Nice.
Perfect.
[00:32:20] Speaker E: And give him some brown treat like would if he needs some morphine.
[00:32:27] Speaker C: Right?
[00:32:28] Speaker B: Yep.
Okay.
[00:32:30] Speaker E: Or yeah. All these thoughts go through his head and then, you know, he will try.
I. I don't know.
I have an idea, but it's very.
[00:32:50] Speaker B: Does it involve a crudely drawn portrait of Rafina?
You put that over his stomach?
[00:32:56] Speaker E: I. No, I wave it under his nose in front of his face and it immediately brings him back to his. To attention, so to speak.
[00:33:04] Speaker B: Oh nah. SS Avoni.
[00:33:09] Speaker E: I have an idea, but I need to. I'm not going to give it any flavor or color until I roll a D100.
[00:33:16] Speaker B: A D193.
[00:33:22] Speaker E: Close, but no cigar.
And it's interesting. Yeah, well, yeah, Roscoe like it is part of the, like the flashback to the ring leader, ring master, ringmaster.
He puts the. The necklace from Tanya, Tanya's lucky coin around, around the captain's neck briefly.
[00:33:54] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:33:55] Speaker E: And. And. And tries to give him some.
Some good luck.
[00:34:01] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:34:03] Speaker E: The mechanic of that is that on a 99 or 100, the wearer negates all damage until the start of their next turn. So.
[00:34:14] Speaker B: But it didn't work and it would.
[00:34:16] Speaker E: Have only kept him alive for six seconds.
[00:34:19] Speaker A: I guess if Roscoe is doing this stuff like he's gonna try to run and find Rafina, but I guess I don't do. I would. I know where they are. There's only really. Did you know where he came from? I guess, yeah.
[00:34:31] Speaker C: I mean I would. I'm still in the lounge. Right.
[00:34:33] Speaker B: So again, unless you followed Roscoe.
[00:34:37] Speaker C: Right. I mean I did think about asking Roscoe where he was going, but I was definitely not there for that scene. So.
[00:34:42] Speaker B: Well, you poke out to say, hey Roscoe, where did you go? And you see Will dressed in.
[00:34:50] Speaker A: You see the flying nun flying down the hallway.
[00:34:56] Speaker C: What's wrong?
[00:34:57] Speaker A: Captain is dead or something over there.
[00:35:00] Speaker C: Good luck.
[00:35:01] Speaker A: The Owlbear 2 and then I'm gonna also look in the room where she is to see if bathwax in there be like, what the fuck? Where is everybody?
[00:35:10] Speaker C: The cross albatross is gonna be so cross.
She runs out to the hallway.
[00:35:17] Speaker D: Alex, I Was just confused. Do we know that the owlbear is dead? Did I zone out?
[00:35:22] Speaker C: No, just that we know that it's flying motionless.
[00:35:25] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:35:26] Speaker B: And from the stairs in sort of the middle of this hallway, there's some footsteps coming up from the. The deck below. Roscoe, Will, Rufina, and up comes Phileas and a bunch of crew members. And they all just kind of gather at stop at the top of the stairs, just staring at. What's the scene? Is.
[00:35:51] Speaker A: Are they over by the blood? Is that what.
[00:35:52] Speaker B: You're kind of in the middle of all of it? Yeah, they're just. This isn't a huge space.
[00:35:57] Speaker A: Okay. All right.
[00:35:57] Speaker B: They're coming up into. Into it. Basically.
[00:36:01] Speaker E: Roscoe looks up at them. He's like, it wasn't my fault.
[00:36:08] Speaker C: We need to turn them. We turn the magic back on. Can you turn the magic back on so that we can try to heal him?
[00:36:14] Speaker A: The what?
[00:36:16] Speaker B: What happened?
[00:36:17] Speaker A: Turn the magic back on now. There was an owl bear roll. Intimidation.
[00:36:22] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:36:24] Speaker A: In my sheets. Let's see how scary I am in my sheet dress.
[00:36:30] Speaker D: Eric, does it matter what I was planning on doing?
[00:36:32] Speaker B: It does. Yeah. Go ahead.
[00:36:33] Speaker D: Well, I don't know if. I don't know if there's time. That's all. I mean.
[00:36:36] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:36:37] Speaker D: Or if this needs to get resolved before I'm going. I'm going in that door that I passed into the further forward in the ship.
[00:36:48] Speaker B: Right.
[00:36:48] Speaker D: And I'll tell you what I'm trying to do.
[00:36:52] Speaker E: Sure.
[00:36:52] Speaker D: I'm gonna try to figure out how they lowered the.
How they locked the ship down.
[00:36:59] Speaker B: Okay. Got it. So you go into this room and it is.
Looks like a large bunk room, presumably for the crew of the ship. You see a bunch of beds scattered around. There's a little communal, like, bar area, but. Yeah. You don't see any.
[00:37:20] Speaker D: There's no one here.
[00:37:21] Speaker B: Controls or anything like that. And. No, it is empty.
[00:37:24] Speaker D: Then I'm proceeding further forward and out the side. I thought the captain went in this door.
[00:37:32] Speaker B: The door that he went in is into this room. Yes.
[00:37:35] Speaker D: All right. I'm going to keep moving further forward then if I have time.
[00:37:40] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, sure.
[00:37:41] Speaker D: However you want to do it.
[00:37:42] Speaker B: Go for it.
[00:37:43] Speaker D: All right. So I mean, I'm. I'm just ignoring this room then.
[00:37:46] Speaker B: There's.
[00:37:48] Speaker D: There's nothing obvious to push or pull here. It doesn't look like this is where you drive a ship.
[00:37:54] Speaker B: No.
[00:37:55] Speaker D: All right, so back out in the hallway.
[00:37:57] Speaker B: Okay.
So will 10 intimidation. Is that your luck point? Add more or something.
[00:38:04] Speaker A: I was trying to bend Luck. Yeah, and I only got a 12.
[00:38:07] Speaker B: Okay, I'm sorry, are you the captain here? Says Phileas.
[00:38:12] Speaker A: You know what? Your captain is dead on the floor, idiot.
[00:38:15] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:38:15] Speaker A: Turn on the magic.
[00:38:17] Speaker B: Why on earth would we do that? He just ordered us to turn it off.
[00:38:21] Speaker A: Because you have a magical healer here, you complete inept morons.
Okay, anyone else want to argue?
[00:38:32] Speaker C: He's right.
[00:38:33] Speaker B: And then Phileas turns and mutters something to one of the other crew members, who hustles back down the stairs. Now, everybody just stay where you are.
Sir, I would ask you to step away from our captain, please. To you, Roscoe.
[00:38:52] Speaker E: Roscoe takes hold of the Tanya's coin again and just kind of backs off from the body.
[00:39:00] Speaker B: Now, what happened here?
[00:39:06] Speaker A: A wild creature killed your captain, you dunce.
[00:39:09] Speaker E: Look.
[00:39:11] Speaker A: Look at what's happening. Sean. Indigo has torn this boat apart. His creatures are running rampant through the ship. Turn the magic back on. What is happening here? This is the most ridiculous cruise I've ever been on.
[00:39:24] Speaker B: I. We were informed that there were some significant shenanigans upon this ship. Nothing to this degree.
[00:39:34] Speaker A: Yeah, look at all these shenanigans. I kick an intestine. I kick an intestine across the floor. This is an awful lot of shenanigans.
[00:39:41] Speaker B: Which one?
[00:39:43] Speaker A: I don't know. There's some intestines there. You said he was eviscerated.
[00:39:48] Speaker B: Oh, I told you to step away from this scene.
[00:39:53] Speaker A: Not all the way dead.
Step away from the scene.
[00:40:04] Speaker B: Kick. And Shimi and Clock Face are coming out because they hear what's going on. What's going on, Bathwack? You're. You're headed towards the. The front of the ship. Further, and from behind you, you hear Who. Who are you? Stop right there.
[00:40:21] Speaker D: I'm not going to turn around.
I'm trying to. I'm looking for where to go. Everything's shut. And I think if I go up here, I. I can get out.
[00:40:36] Speaker B: No, there are no passengers allowed beyond that point. Please come, come, come back this way.
[00:40:44] Speaker D: All right.
No, I don't know. So I'm gonna turn around and start walking past him.
[00:40:53] Speaker B: Okay.
Well.
Are you King Batwack?
[00:40:59] Speaker A: Oh, God damn it.
[00:41:01] Speaker D: I'm wearing a mask, right?
[00:41:03] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, he is wearing a mask.
[00:41:04] Speaker E: There is the physical mask.
[00:41:06] Speaker A: Yeah. There you go. Hell yeah.
[00:41:11] Speaker B: You guys.
Amazing masked King Bathwack.
[00:41:22] Speaker A: It's a tragedy mask, right?
[00:41:25] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:41:25] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:41:29] Speaker B: And. And who are you, sir?
[00:41:33] Speaker D: Did we meet already?
[00:41:36] Speaker B: No, I don't believe so. I'm usually down in navigation, but I'm. We. There's some unusual happenings right now, so I just need to.
What are you doing down. You said what you were doing. Who. Who are you?
What is your name?
[00:41:52] Speaker D: Kick.
[00:41:53] Speaker B: Kick. Okay, Kick, please go. Go back up to the upper deck.
[00:42:01] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:42:03] Speaker B: And he. He let you go?
[00:42:06] Speaker D: All right, as soon as he gets past me, I'm gonna turn around and keep going the way I was going.
[00:42:13] Speaker C: I wish he would have asked. Why are you wearing that mask?
[00:42:18] Speaker E: It's a funeral cruise. And he's wearing a tragedy mask.
[00:42:21] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:42:21] Speaker E: There have been all sorts of insane morning rituals on his chest, apparently.
[00:42:26] Speaker B: So, wait, you're Alex. You. He is going past you the way he. You were going.
[00:42:33] Speaker D: Yeah, exactly.
[00:42:34] Speaker B: So you're gonna follow him.
[00:42:37] Speaker D: I'm going to wait for him to go through the door, and then I'm going to go.
I'm going to go up to the door.
[00:42:42] Speaker B: Yeah, okay. Got it.
All right.
[00:42:47] Speaker D: I want to, like, basically prop it open and see what he's doing.
[00:42:53] Speaker B: I see. Okay. So, yeah, you. You go back towards the door.
Are you trying to be sneaky about it or are you just kind of?
[00:43:04] Speaker D: Well, I mean, I. I want to pretend like I'm gonna go, but then, I don't know, I'll figure out some reason why I couldn't.
[00:43:16] Speaker B: All right, so you. You go back and you go to open the door. And within you see, there's this is. You think kind of like you were saying, like, the bridge. There's a series of, like, controls and all kinds of weird levers and contraptions and things. But there is a window in the front that is open in here, so you can kind of see where the. The ship is going. You assume, presume a lot of the controls are devoted to the actual navigation of the ship itself, but there's lots of cranks and levers and pulleys and things scattered all around. So this is a very complicated room. And you see that the guy is going.
[00:44:12] Speaker D: An airplane, right?
[00:44:15] Speaker B: The guy is going over to a panel near the back of the room, kind of close to you, and he is about to do something, and he turns, he says, hey, I thought I told you to go upstairs.
[00:44:30] Speaker D: Oh, he can see me. Was I being.
[00:44:33] Speaker B: That's what I was asking. Like, are you.
[00:44:35] Speaker D: Oh, shoot, no.
[00:44:37] Speaker B: Okay. If you weren't.
[00:44:38] Speaker D: What I meant was, I was. I was gonna walk casually away from him, and then I wasn't being. Especially. He went through the door. So I was. I wasn't trying to be stealthy going up to the door, but when I stick my foot in it, like, I'm. I don't really want him to see me. I mean, if. But I. I have to leave the door open a crack so I can see what he's doing.
[00:44:56] Speaker B: Right, okay. Yeah, got it.
[00:44:58] Speaker D: So. But if he still sees me under those conditions, and he sees me because I have to look into the room.
[00:45:05] Speaker B: Okay.
All right. Give me a stealth check then.
[00:45:10] Speaker D: All right. Something I'm really good at. So many things. I'm good at that.
[00:45:20] Speaker E: Oh, no.
[00:45:22] Speaker A: Oh, no.
[00:45:23] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:45:23] Speaker A: I thought I told you to go upstairs.
[00:45:25] Speaker B: Hey, you. I thought I told you to go upstairs.
That was a three, everybody.
[00:45:34] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:45:35] Speaker D: Oh, where. I really need to use the bathroom.
[00:45:41] Speaker B: There's a shared restroom in the living quarter area of the ship. Do you need me to take you?
No, let me. Come on, I will take you.
[00:45:54] Speaker D: Don't let me distract you.
[00:45:56] Speaker B: No, no, no. Come on.
[00:45:57] Speaker D: You look like you're doing something important.
[00:45:59] Speaker B: And he.
[00:46:00] Speaker D: There are a lot of.
[00:46:01] Speaker B: To the door.
[00:46:02] Speaker D: There are so many levers in this room.
[00:46:04] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:46:05] Speaker D: What do you. Yeah, what do you. What do you use it for?
[00:46:08] Speaker B: Let's go. Come on. And he. He goes.
A hand.
[00:46:13] Speaker C: Charisma. Charisma.
[00:46:20] Speaker A: So many levers.
[00:46:22] Speaker B: And he's. He takes you by the shoulders and turns you around to point you back up the hallway and tries to at least walk with you.
[00:46:33] Speaker D: Oh, man.
All right. This is what's running through Bethlehem's mind, everyone.
I could knock this guy out. But there are so many levers in that room.
[00:46:47] Speaker E: But there are so many levers in that room.
That's amazing.
[00:46:55] Speaker D: I just think there's no way. There's no way I'm gonna figure out which one.
Let's see.
Fine, fine. I'll. I'll walk with him. I'll be like. Okay. The whole time. I'll be like you. Really? I. I'll, you know, find something. It's. Don't. Whatever, man. Just don't. Just go. You look like you need to pull a lever.
[00:47:19] Speaker B: No, no, no. Come on, I'll get you upstairs. We'll, We'll.
[00:47:24] Speaker E: We'll.
[00:47:25] Speaker B: We'll let Phileas keep an eye out on you.
So, meanwhile, up in the Carnage Room, I think this is best left to the officials on this ship. I think we're going to have to ask everybody to return to their rooms, please.
[00:47:50] Speaker A: I don't have any of my items in my room. My room is empty. Someone has stolen everything.
[00:47:57] Speaker B: Sorry, who are you?
[00:47:59] Speaker A: I am Valencio Beigeman.
[00:48:01] Speaker B: Oh. Oh, yes. Your goods were moved to your new room. The captain had said that you were Upgraded to one of our finer suites.
[00:48:13] Speaker A: And you took my stuff.
[00:48:17] Speaker B: We moved your goods to your new room.
[00:48:20] Speaker A: Okay, then where is my new room? Because I just was in my other room and I had nothing. What kind of service is this?
[00:48:25] Speaker B: Just around the corner here, if you follow me. God.
[00:48:28] Speaker A: Hope there isn't blood all over everything.
[00:48:32] Speaker B: And he leads you just around the corner to the room where the door is off the hinges, right?
And he peeks in.
What happened here?
[00:48:47] Speaker A: What is this place? What is this? This is my room. This is my room.
[00:48:52] Speaker B: There's a busted open crate in here. There's a hole in the wall. There's the door off the hinges.
Smells like fungus.
[00:49:04] Speaker C: And fish. Oh, no, that was the old room.
[00:49:07] Speaker B: That was the other room. Yeah, this one smells way better. But your things are there. All right, well, here are your belongings.
[00:49:14] Speaker A: I'm expected to stay in this room. I go and pick up my stuff in a huff?
[00:49:18] Speaker B: No, I think it probably would be best for you to return to your old room.
[00:49:22] Speaker A: I look over it. You said that. I'm pretty sure that at one point when you were describing this room, you said that the bones were even moved. Like, everything.
Would that, would that have lasted?
[00:49:32] Speaker B: Bones are gone.
[00:49:33] Speaker A: The bones are gone.
I, I, I gasp. And then I'm like, wait a second. Oh, God. Don't draw attention to it. I, I look a side eye. Do they notice the bones are gone? Yeah, exactly. Does anyone notice the bones are gone? I just wait.
[00:49:47] Speaker E: Cover it with a poster.
[00:49:48] Speaker A: Yeah, I know.
Oh, my God.
[00:49:51] Speaker B: It's a drawing of Bathwack Eric.
[00:49:54] Speaker D: I changed my mind, by the way.
[00:49:56] Speaker B: Okay. You gonna knock the guy out?
[00:50:03] Speaker D: So we get, we get further down the hall. I just want to let you know we're not getting to the stairs.
[00:50:08] Speaker B: Yep, yep, yep. Got it.
[00:50:10] Speaker E: I will say I am. I, Adam, am fascinated by Phileas's seeming complete lack of urgency regarding the Captain Novellio state.
But Roscoe is not in a state to pick up on or be suspicious about that because Roscoe has backed away from the body. And Roscoe is just, like, holding the Tanya's lucky coin. And he's like, he looks, he looks really, really pale. If anybody sees him, like, he's backed up against the wall of the ship. And he's like, his breathing is very ragged, and he looks, he looks sick.
Sick, sick.
[00:50:57] Speaker B: He's like a Mohawk.
[00:50:58] Speaker E: Yeah, he looks sick, bro.
[00:51:02] Speaker B: You don't see Phileas necessarily notice the bones being missing?
Yes. I'm sorry, you're. This room is in a state I don't know what is going on here.
Please just take your things.
[00:51:15] Speaker A: Yes, I will. Please leave me alone. Let me collect my thoughts. This has been the worst today. We've only been on this cruise. Cruise ship for one day, you guys. One day. We couldn't even survive one day. Half a day.
It's been the. One of the most difficult days of my life. I'm trying to shoe him out of the room so I can go over and collect the non bones. The shelf that they built. I don't know what's there. Like, there was a shelf. What did they build? So they built something. Yeah.
So I'm gonna.
Well, I'm gonna collect that, too.
[00:51:48] Speaker B: It's gonna be on the.
[00:51:49] Speaker A: Can I carry it?
[00:51:50] Speaker B: Doc? Janiel.
[00:51:52] Speaker A: What? Oh, the Jack Daniels or something. Dak Daniels or something. Dak.
[00:51:56] Speaker B: Daniel. Was that one.
[00:51:57] Speaker A: Something about that.
[00:51:58] Speaker B: Was it a pun?
[00:51:59] Speaker A: I feel like it was probably.
[00:52:01] Speaker B: Gosh, it'll be on the wiki.
[00:52:03] Speaker A: Yeah, but. So is it something I could pick up, though, with my stuff?
[00:52:07] Speaker B: I don't have.
[00:52:07] Speaker A: But I also have bathwax stuff. I have bathwax stuff. My stuff. And. Oh, the shelf is mounted on the wall, so pick up my stuff and Bathwax stuff.
[00:52:15] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:52:15] Speaker A: And then I head to my room where I just took the sheets off the bed. That smells like fish. And there's fish in the.
[00:52:22] Speaker B: So sad.
[00:52:23] Speaker A: Oh, my God. Yep. Okay.
[00:52:25] Speaker B: All right. Bath whack.
[00:52:28] Speaker D: Yeah, I'm not going to knock him out straight out, but I'm going to stop walking.
[00:52:34] Speaker B: No, no, come on. Come on. This way.
[00:52:37] Speaker D: And I'm going to turn toward him.
[00:52:40] Speaker B: Okay.
Yes.
[00:52:44] Speaker D: What if I told you you need to do something very important right now?
[00:52:50] Speaker B: I think I am doing something very important, sir.
[00:52:53] Speaker D: What are you doing?
[00:52:55] Speaker B: I'm escorting you up to the upper deck of the ship. Passengers are not supposed to be in the room you were in. Our captain is, I believe, dead. What?
The captain has been at least horribly mauled, if not completely destroyed by this massive creature upstairs. So if you forgive me, there's.
[00:53:19] Speaker D: We need to heal him. How?
[00:53:23] Speaker B: Well, you can leave that to our. To the crew, sir. Well, let's just get you back to your room.
[00:53:28] Speaker D: Can you lift the lockdown that we're.
[00:53:33] Speaker B: Come on, let's just go.
[00:53:35] Speaker D: Will you lift the lockdown, Sir?
[00:53:38] Speaker B: I don't think that you're.
You're not hearing me. You're. You're a passenger on the ship, and I am the crew, and you need to do as you're told.
[00:53:50] Speaker D: You need to lift the lockdown.
[00:53:53] Speaker B: No, I Don't, please. Come on. And he grabs your arm and tries to pull you down the hallway.
[00:54:00] Speaker D: I pick him up off his feet and I walk with him down the hallway.
[00:54:06] Speaker B: Which way?
[00:54:07] Speaker D: Down toward the control room. Okay.
[00:54:09] Speaker B: Hey. Let go of me. Let go of me.
[00:54:12] Speaker D: Shut up.
[00:54:17] Speaker B: Give me a strength check.
[00:54:20] Speaker C: 1000.
[00:54:21] Speaker D: I just don't want to blow my cover yet unless I have to. Yeah, and I don't. I don't really want to knock him out because I don't know how to turn the lever.
[00:54:31] Speaker A: Amazing.
[00:54:32] Speaker D: All right, so what am I doing? Strength check.
[00:54:34] Speaker B: Huh?
Gotta beat a 12. 15. All right. You gotta hold on this guy. I. Put me down at once, sir. Put me down.
[00:54:46] Speaker D: You'll thank me for this later.
[00:54:48] Speaker B: I don't think I will.
Phileas goes back to the scene of the crime.
Please. As I said, everybody, let's get back to your room.
[00:55:02] Speaker C: Witch crime.
There have been so many.
You mean the gruesome.
[00:55:08] Speaker B: The one not perpetrated by you guys.
[00:55:11] Speaker A: Oh, okay.
[00:55:12] Speaker B: The one perpetrated by an animal.
[00:55:14] Speaker A: Well, I mean, we kind of had something to do with that, though.
[00:55:17] Speaker C: A force of nature. There's nothing wrong with it.
[00:55:20] Speaker B: I just was tired of referring to it as the carnage spot.
Now, come on, everybody.
Let's get you back to your rooms.
The crew here will help you. And let's get you all settled in until we can get all this.
[00:55:37] Speaker A: Where are your healers?
[00:55:38] Speaker C: Why aren't they coming faster? What's happening?
[00:55:40] Speaker B: Just, please, everybody, let's just. Come on.
[00:55:43] Speaker C: Dying now. Look at him. He needs. Ma'am, right now.
[00:55:46] Speaker B: Look at him.
[00:55:47] Speaker C: I am a healer. You are an idiot. I would like to help this man. Will you please get some magic going so that I can actually heal him?
[00:55:58] Speaker B: Ma'am, Shut up.
[00:56:00] Speaker C: Go do it. Go do it.
[00:56:02] Speaker B: I am the acting commander of this show.
[00:56:05] Speaker C: I'm going to hold my breath until you do it.
Rafina turns redder and redder and redder.
[00:56:14] Speaker B: Okay, all right. Everybody likes. Let's wait for her to pass out.
[00:56:20] Speaker A: Do I hear that? Am I walking by at any point?
[00:56:23] Speaker B: I don't know why you.
[00:56:23] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
If I hear Raphina calling somebody an idiot, that is the first time I've ever heard her say that. I come around the corner, I mean, there's blood everywhere. But Rafina's standing there turning red and holding her breath. I don't like that at all, okay?
[00:56:38] Speaker C: And I turn to Mo and I go, hi.
[00:56:44] Speaker A: Hi. What do you mean, Rafina? Raphina, what is it?
[00:56:48] Speaker B: She's holding her breath for What? Until this guy lets her heal. Captain.
[00:56:54] Speaker A: Oh, my God. Wait, let's her heal. Let her heal. The captain, sir.
[00:57:00] Speaker B: The captain as you.
[00:57:01] Speaker A: Okay, I. Eldritch, blast him.
[00:57:03] Speaker C: But you can't peel.
[00:57:05] Speaker A: Peel, peel. I try to and then I can't. So I go over and I like, I just get up in his face. I'm like. I'm just up in his face. Like, physically, how big is he? Is he huge? Is he bigger than me?
[00:57:18] Speaker C: He's not bigger than Mo.
[00:57:20] Speaker B: Huge.
[00:57:20] Speaker A: All right, then I get up in his face. Physically, Will is not tolerating this. This is Rafina Philange pot. And she's just holding her breath. But she could kick your ass if she wants to.
[00:57:28] Speaker B: Okay, well, again, I am the acting commander on the ship, and I am asking all of you to return to your rooms.
[00:57:36] Speaker A: Mo, grab him now.
[00:57:38] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:57:39] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:57:40] Speaker C: Rafina is very happy.
[00:57:42] Speaker A: Headlock. Headlock now.
[00:57:43] Speaker B: And the other crew members stand up next to. To him.
[00:57:49] Speaker A: How many crew members draw their weapons? Okay, how many?
[00:57:53] Speaker B: Counting Phileas, 10.
[00:57:57] Speaker A: What?
All right, well, that's a little.
[00:57:59] Speaker E: 11.
[00:58:00] Speaker B: Sorry, what?
[00:58:01] Speaker A: Okay, wait a second. I was not picturing that.
[00:58:05] Speaker C: Eleven crew members.
[00:58:07] Speaker A: Are they huge? Are they big, strong guys?
[00:58:09] Speaker B: Marrying men and women of different sizes and races and physical statures, and they.
[00:58:18] Speaker A: Are all, like, just ready to fight?
[00:58:20] Speaker C: Damn.
[00:58:21] Speaker B: Well, as soon as you say that, they all step forward and draw their weapons.
[00:58:26] Speaker A: Wait, does Mo. Do they have to do anything?
[00:58:29] Speaker C: Clean pool towels? What kind of weapons do they have on the boat?
[00:58:32] Speaker A: Oh, my God, this is bad.
[00:58:35] Speaker D: Lots of mints.
[00:58:36] Speaker C: Mints?
[00:58:37] Speaker D: Pillow mints.
[00:58:40] Speaker A: Oh, I see how it is. Rafina. They want this to happen. They are. They were staging a coup this whole time. They want to take over the ship. They don't want to heal the captain.
[00:58:49] Speaker C: And Rafina exhales well, that changes things.
[00:58:52] Speaker B: It changes things. It really. It does. It takes this point. It wasn't enough that we had to hold a two day funeral for a ferret? Or that we had to host a party of freeloaders all halfway across the world?
I would need you to return to your rooms now.
[00:59:16] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:59:17] Speaker E: It was a mutiny.
[00:59:19] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
[00:59:23] Speaker B: And we'll find out what happens next time on Pork Fried Dice.
[00:59:30] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. Funeral for a ferret.
[00:59:34] Speaker C: I knew that was gonna come back.
[00:59:36] Speaker A: Roy. He's dead.
[00:59:40] Speaker D: No, he might not be dead yet, right? Or is he clearly dead?
[00:59:47] Speaker E: And we kept cutting him off. Yeah, but I bet Eric was gonna have Philia say, like, he's clearly dead. But Phileas would want to say that whether or not he Was dead.
[00:59:56] Speaker D: That's right. Yeah.
[00:59:57] Speaker E: Yeah, like he would. He would want.
[00:59:59] Speaker D: Leave it.
[00:59:59] Speaker B: I'm not dead yet.
Happy?
[01:00:05] Speaker A: Wow.
[01:00:09] Speaker C: What a twist.
[01:00:11] Speaker E: Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
[01:00:13] Speaker D: And I better figure out what all those levers are for right now.
[01:00:15] Speaker C: Yeah, exactly.
[01:00:17] Speaker E: Was the. Was the anti magic field the doubling down?
[01:00:21] Speaker B: Huh?
[01:00:22] Speaker E: Cm.
[01:00:23] Speaker D: Yep.
[01:00:24] Speaker A: What?
[01:00:24] Speaker E: Damn. Damn, damn, damn.
[01:00:26] Speaker B: The turning off magic was my.
[01:00:28] Speaker D: Makes it interesting.
[01:00:29] Speaker B: Doubling.
[01:00:30] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. We're all. Jeez.
Yikes.
[01:00:35] Speaker C: We still have our weapons, though.
[01:00:37] Speaker A: I don't really have many weapons.
[01:00:40] Speaker B: You've refused any that I've tried to give you.
[01:00:44] Speaker A: Will doesn't use a lot of weapons like that.
[01:00:47] Speaker B: Wrong to refuse.
[01:00:48] Speaker A: I have a billy club and like a knife.
[01:00:50] Speaker D: Yep.
[01:00:51] Speaker B: And your tongue, but that doesn't do anything.
[01:00:56] Speaker C: Well, you have people around you with weapons that might be willing to share.
[01:00:59] Speaker A: Yeah, but like, where's Bathwack? What a loser.
He's abandoned us all.
[01:01:06] Speaker C: He's found the lever room. If only we knew.
[01:01:08] Speaker A: Yeah, I know.
Oh, man.
[01:01:12] Speaker C: All right.
[01:01:12] Speaker D: I have a whole week to figure.
[01:01:14] Speaker C: Out cake waiting for me upstairs.
[01:01:15] Speaker A: Ooh, yummy.
[01:01:17] Speaker C: I'm jealous I cut you off, Alex. What'd you say?
[01:01:20] Speaker D: It's fine. Oh, I said I have a whole week to figure out what I'm actually going to do with this guy.
Yeah, it's a little bit impulsive.
[01:01:29] Speaker B: I have a whole week to figure out what this guy's going to do with you as his legs and arms are kicking in the air.
[01:01:39] Speaker E: What a fun session. Yeah, very goodness gracious and nerve wracking.
[01:01:44] Speaker A: Yeah, that's. We don't. What the heck do we do? What are we doing? We have to kill these people. We don't have any magic powers.
[01:01:54] Speaker E: Crap.
[01:01:55] Speaker C: Turn the lever.
[01:01:58] Speaker A: And now the owl bear. Now we won't even get a present from the albatross.
[01:02:01] Speaker E: No, we freed the owl bear before it died.
We held up our end of the bar.
[01:02:07] Speaker C: We also aren't sure that he's actually dead.
[01:02:09] Speaker D: Do we know that the owlbear is dead either? Like someone should.
[01:02:12] Speaker E: No, but we also.
[01:02:13] Speaker D: Someone should have like, done some kind of owlbear medicine check.
[01:02:17] Speaker E: Yeah, I should have rushed past the.
[01:02:18] Speaker C: Captain and gone and slipped in his intestines.
[01:02:24] Speaker A: Yikes.
[01:02:25] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh.
[01:02:26] Speaker E: We also don't. I don't know. Albatross isn't a God. If Albatross is really a God, Eric would have had me do a religion check.
I see right through all this.
[01:02:36] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. He's on to you.
[01:02:39] Speaker B: You can definitely base your decisions on whether I make you roll certain things.
D and D style.
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