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Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Fun. If you subscribe to our Ko Fi on tinyurl.com supportpfd Raphina will be able to buy new boob socks.
[00:00:08] Speaker B: Support elderly halfling breasts. Support pork fried dice. Yay.
[00:00:16] Speaker A: You're listening to the show about chap and mate. It's pork fried dice.
I'm Eric and I'm the dungeon master.
[00:00:28] Speaker C: I'm Abby and I play Rafina.
[00:00:31] Speaker D: I'm Alex and I play Bathwack.
[00:00:34] Speaker B: I'm KT and I play Will.
[00:00:37] Speaker E: I'm Adam and I play Roscoe.
[00:00:42] Speaker A: Hold on to your haversacks. Let's roll.
[00:00:48] Speaker E: Well, should we play D and D or what?
[00:00:50] Speaker B: Yeah, let's do it. I'm at least here.
[00:00:53] Speaker A: I'm at least here.
[00:00:55] Speaker C: Maybe you guys feel up to. We could just do some of it at least and see what happens.
[00:01:00] Speaker B: Why are you staring at me?
[00:01:02] Speaker A: Because I don't remember how this works.
[00:01:05] Speaker B: I'm gonna get my ice cup, which is gonna grab my ice cup. I'm sorry to please.
[00:01:11] Speaker C: Alex said to me today, this is the episode where PFD ends.
[00:01:16] Speaker A: What?
[00:01:17] Speaker C: Look at Eric's face, listeners.
[00:01:21] Speaker E: Eric is.
[00:01:26] Speaker C: It seemed like everything was going wrong, Alex.
[00:01:28] Speaker A: Why?
What.
What are you planning on doing?
[00:01:37] Speaker E: Oh, yeah, it was a threat.
[00:01:39] Speaker C: I think it's more like what has already happened that everyone accidentally did.
[00:01:44] Speaker D: I don't know about everyone, Abby. That was a secret.
[00:01:48] Speaker B: What?
[00:01:49] Speaker C: There are no secrets.
[00:01:50] Speaker D: Now I'll have to postpone my plans.
[00:01:54] Speaker A: He's doing it. He's staging a coup.
[00:01:57] Speaker C: It's gonna be a.
The real coup.
[00:02:03] Speaker A: All right. Previously on Pork Fried Dice.
So in the spirit of recapitulation, disarmament.
[00:02:17] Speaker C: Yay.
[00:02:19] Speaker A: I have compiled a non scripted, bullet point driven, factually based recap which involves no pop songs, no rock songs, no rap songs. It involves no mockery of television shows or radio dramas.
There are.
[00:02:50] Speaker B: What do you think you're better than us?
[00:02:51] Speaker A: Jesus, there are no.
[00:02:52] Speaker C: I know. Are you making fun of us right now?
[00:02:54] Speaker E: I can't wait to see what this is. It's gonna be so cool and funny.
[00:02:57] Speaker A: There is no chanting.
I am not playing any instruments, let alone multiple instruments. I am not harmonizing with myself.
[00:03:09] Speaker E: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, man, this is gonna be great. I wonder what he's got.
[00:03:14] Speaker A: All right, so my recap has two sections. The first section entitled Big Picture.
[00:03:24] Speaker E: So when are you going to play your, like, recorded thing?
[00:03:31] Speaker A: So, okay, Rafina will bath, whack and do left Barovia.
[00:03:40] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh.
[00:03:40] Speaker B: Wow. That's a long time ago.
[00:03:43] Speaker A: They took an airship in a while with the Intent of heading to Carnivore. I believe maybe Bear Toggle. I don't know.
On the.
[00:03:53] Speaker C: I think it was Carnivore.
[00:03:54] Speaker A: On the airship they met a Ricardo Ulysses, a notorious thief who stole some of their goods before riding away on a magical beast. A griffin or something.
[00:04:09] Speaker E: Remember any of this?
[00:04:12] Speaker C: Strange.
[00:04:13] Speaker A: The airship crashed near a small fishing village named Norton.
Soon after they met mo the lizard folk in the lizard folk lair.
[00:04:25] Speaker E: I know.
[00:04:26] Speaker A: And Hallula, who was a guard from Bear Toggle looking for a crazed halfling named Rafina who would apparently murdered many people mass murderer in a fit of insanity over something to do with the Bear Toggle Dam.
The group was told to investigate the Eonian Anglerfish disappearance by the rainbow trout. They went downstream.
They stopped in Morrow's Inlet for a few days if you remember that.
[00:05:01] Speaker C: Oh yeah.
[00:05:02] Speaker A: Stopped Crumple Myers nefarious plans who was making magical paper and pitting one side of the town against the other.
You also met Gwen and Shimi.
[00:05:16] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:05:17] Speaker A: In this town. Dew happened to skidoo into a magical locked book into an image of caged prisoners and thrunch boulder guts. Severed head.
[00:05:32] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:05:33] Speaker A: They headed downstream further. Took a little diversion into the Umlaut Forest. Little side quest there.
Metal leprechaun, a Harry Roger, a virile badger.
Ultimately the Umlauts were all but wiped out by an attack from an upside down orange dragon.
And then you headed to Bear Toggle where there was in fact a massive dam which Raphina did not remember. There was no dam.
[00:06:05] Speaker C: Correct.
[00:06:06] Speaker A: Like this in the Beartoggle. Rafina knows Gwen at one point turned into a statue, which is why she's no longer around. And there was a big quest about finding a set of dam keys to go under the dam into the lake.
We met a Roscoe Lafleur.
[00:06:31] Speaker C: But first, Thundercloud.
[00:06:33] Speaker A: Oh yeah.
[00:06:35] Speaker E: Clown Thunder Clown.
[00:06:38] Speaker A: Clown. Of course.
[00:06:39] Speaker E: I was just keeping you on your toes. Is this still all section one big picture.
[00:06:45] Speaker A: You're you like. Do you know like how this recording goes? How are you interacting with it? Like you know where the pauses are.
[00:06:52] Speaker B: Oh, you're recording. Nice.
Wow.
[00:06:56] Speaker E: Well, you gave me the script. I'm just reading off of this is what this is a really fun recap. I don't know. I'm the only one who has like.
[00:07:04] Speaker A: Yeah. Thank you for recording this for me with me Adam a couple days ago. That was really nice.
[00:07:10] Speaker E: Yeah, no problem.
[00:07:12] Speaker C: You guys are doing the lip sync really well.
[00:07:15] Speaker E: Yeah. This is so fun.
[00:07:18] Speaker A: There in Bear Toggle, there was the sooty gang Comprised mostly of Ibish who had stolen Roscoe's dog, Roscoe, as well as Rudy the Rutabago.
The group went under the lake. They had a battle with Savnock the Inscrutable.
First the dragon and then Savnak the Beaut. You went into the butte. There was some memory shenanigans, and then a brain was rather unceremoniously and unclimactically stabbed.
You went up above water. The dam was gone.
You met the desert mothers, talked to them for a little bit, got some sick weed. And then you went downstream, further to the captivating Coyote. The carnival of wonders and fun. Roscoe had a great time there. You saw some mirror images of yourselves in various states and forms. Batwack got a new shiny weapon.
You were all, at that point introduced to the true form of Rudy the Rutabago and trundled on down the road to the Quiet Crossings Inn.
You met some people there.
You were told through various omenic forms that they're coming, they're here.
You fought some scarecrows. And then you met Juliet Rusher.
[00:08:58] Speaker E: Yes.
[00:08:59] Speaker A: Who cackled a lot, killed a guy, and threatened you, specifically Batwac, not to enter her realm of Gully's End before flying off. So you guys took her at her word. You did not enter Gully's End. You're like, let's go the other way. We are scared of her. And so you headed to Trent.
In the village of Trent, you faked Batwac's death and cruised away on a cruise ship with the intent of taking it to Gully's End to, quote, unquote, return his bones to the sacred burial ground of his forefathers.
Meanwhile, you've got this secret thing going on with his.
With the valet, with his wife's valet, Trofast, who's going off and spreading the secret word that Bathwack is going to be revived, resuscitated, rejuvenated, reinvigorated behind the waterfall.
So that's sort of the big picture of what's going on. Is there anything that anyone would like to add to that that they're stewing on or keeping in the back of their mind that is good to keep in their memory before we get to the immediate picture?
[00:10:25] Speaker D: No, I just want to be part of the recording.
Thanks for inviting me. Bye.
[00:10:30] Speaker E: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:10:32] Speaker A: That was a fun part when he did that.
[00:10:34] Speaker C: And you interview one guy once for YouTube and all he wants to do is be in the spotlight.
[00:10:40] Speaker B: Not allowed to say that I'm Going to.
[00:10:44] Speaker C: I want the. I want the universe.
I want the universe to search the inner the. Search YouTube for Alex. All right, sorry, continue.
[00:10:52] Speaker B: His real name is Bathwack Medrac.
[00:10:55] Speaker A: There were like some deals made with dark powers that were ended, the crowns shared and lost.
Some conversations with gods about people's pasts and identities, stuff like that.
[00:11:19] Speaker E: Yeah, I have a note. I have a note saying that Will needs to lick mustard off Roscoe's coat at some point.
[00:11:26] Speaker A: Point.
[00:11:27] Speaker B: Wow, I wonder what that was about.
[00:11:30] Speaker E: I took that note on June 5th, 2022.
[00:11:32] Speaker B: Oh my God, why isn't that happening? That's almost two years ago now.
[00:11:38] Speaker C: Yeah, I knew.
[00:11:40] Speaker A: Are you sure that wasn't from our Everwood podcast?
[00:11:43] Speaker B: I don't think it was.
[00:11:46] Speaker E: This is so wild. I'm loving this. I bet section 2 though is really good where it's going to like kick off.
[00:11:53] Speaker B: Can I have a charger for my computer?
[00:11:56] Speaker E: I bet section two is going to be like a parody of like Gulliver's Travels or something.
Like kind of literary, like some kind of fun like satire, you know.
[00:12:08] Speaker A: A three hour tour. A three hour tour.
[00:12:13] Speaker B: That's about as long as we've been on this cruise, Is that what you're saying? Yeah, just been on two hours and we've already caused a lot.
[00:12:20] Speaker C: We have had a big feast.
[00:12:21] Speaker A: It was supposed to be a four day cruise but you guys wanted to make it a three hour tour. A three hour tour.
[00:12:30] Speaker B: Oh God.
[00:12:31] Speaker A: Is that the literary reference?
[00:12:33] Speaker C: Yes, yes.
[00:12:33] Speaker E: That's great.
[00:12:35] Speaker C: Good job.
[00:12:36] Speaker A: Are there any yahoos on this ship?
[00:12:41] Speaker B: Is that from Gilligan's Island?
[00:12:43] Speaker A: No, that's from Gulliver's Travels.
[00:12:44] Speaker B: Oh, okay.
[00:12:45] Speaker C: Oh, oh. Oh my goodness.
[00:12:48] Speaker B: Same thing.
[00:12:49] Speaker A: Okay, that was my joke from before.
[00:12:52] Speaker B: Nice.
[00:12:52] Speaker A: That's why I started say three hour tour acting like I didn't know what Gulliver's Travels was.
[00:12:57] Speaker B: Oh, I thought you were just saying. I thought you were just starting a recap with the Gilligan's island theme.
[00:13:02] Speaker A: No, I was acting like I didn't know what Gulliver's Travels was and mistook it for Gilligan's Island.
[00:13:08] Speaker B: That's a very funny joke actually. I know.
[00:13:10] Speaker C: It is a good joke.
[00:13:11] Speaker E: Yeah, that's pretty good.
[00:13:14] Speaker C: It was subtle.
[00:13:15] Speaker E: Yep, really subtle.
[00:13:17] Speaker A: All right, kt, make sure you go back and add in a long enough pause for our listeners to laugh so they don' have to rewind and discuss.
[00:13:27] Speaker C: They're gonna be on the floor.
[00:13:28] Speaker B: I'll take the pause length that Alex usually takes.
[00:13:31] Speaker A: You guys are so good at not breaking, by the way.
So good. You guys are so good at not breaking.
[00:13:37] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
[00:13:38] Speaker E: I just can't believe you got all of us to record all of this before tonight.
[00:13:44] Speaker B: It required a lot of coordination.
[00:13:48] Speaker A: All right, so you're on this boat. You were tasked by the winged, or, excuse me, the cross albatross, to save a winged owl bear. A young winged owl bear, which he said was somewhere on this ship.
You assumed that the guy with a lot of strange animals would be the most likely culprit to have such a creature, so you tried to get into his room. Will went in and was scared of all the creatures and so left. And then somehow someone got Shimi to try to break in. Where that command originated from is up for debate. Good thing we don't have a written record of it.
[00:14:37] Speaker C: Good thing.
[00:14:39] Speaker A: And he got shot with a lot of darts and lost the use of his eye.
The captain was made aware of this and was incensed. Oh, who, by the way, seems to really have a thing for Rafina. I didn't mention that before.
And so he holds a maritime trial, which is a fully reputable, believable, you know, trustable, valid thing.
[00:15:09] Speaker B: Mary Eagle.
[00:15:10] Speaker A: That's what it says on the. On the. On the license on the wall. That exact phrase.
[00:15:19] Speaker B: I want to, like, come up with that. That's really funny.
[00:15:21] Speaker A: Framed.
[00:15:22] Speaker C: I want to cross stitch that.
[00:15:25] Speaker B: That's very cute.
[00:15:28] Speaker A: Some investigations were done and questioning, evidence gathering. In the meantime, bathwack as Kick busted down Will's new room door and chopped a hole in the wall to get into that guy's room, Sean's room.
And then pretty soon after that, got darted himself and fell unconscious. Roscoe found him, woke him up. They found the crate with the owl bear in it and dragged it out and very carefully and artfully covered up their tracks.
The captain was drawn back to that area by Will's distracting sounds.
[00:16:11] Speaker B: Oops.
[00:16:12] Speaker A: And the hole was somehow discovered. He must have rolled, like, a 25 or something like that.
[00:16:23] Speaker C: It was a surprise development.
[00:16:24] Speaker A: Yeah.
And he flipped out. He threw the ship into lockdown, which cut off all access to the outside and also disabled any and all magics aboard.
The crew, in the meantime, freed the winged owlbear, hoping that it would just leave.
[00:16:45] Speaker B: I didn't realize that happened. No, it died.
[00:16:48] Speaker C: Yeah, we tried. No, we tried to release it.
[00:16:51] Speaker B: Oh, I thought you were saying the crew.
[00:16:53] Speaker A: I'm like, this crew.
[00:16:54] Speaker C: Yeah, I thought you were saying the pork fried dice.
[00:16:58] Speaker A: The gang.
[00:16:58] Speaker B: Cool. Sorry. Yes, the gang. Yeah, sure.
[00:17:01] Speaker C: Shimmy and the Shim. Shams.
[00:17:01] Speaker B: Yeah, just Shimmy and the shim. Shams. Hello.
[00:17:04] Speaker A: It's like an always, always funny.
The gang frees a winged owl bear.
[00:17:15] Speaker B: All right.
[00:17:16] Speaker A: It, of course, can't escape because the ship is locked down.
[00:17:19] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:17:20] Speaker A: It encounters you guys first and then the captain, and they seemingly fight each other to the death. And they both take it very literally because they both die.
[00:17:30] Speaker C: Wait, we didn't know the owl bear was dead. We just knew it wasn't moving. Eric, you spoiled it.
[00:17:36] Speaker A: Well, I mean, you dead could be figurative or literal. I didn't say literally dead.
[00:17:42] Speaker E: You just said literal.
[00:17:43] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm really mad about that because.
[00:17:46] Speaker A: We didn't do anything wrong, literally, because they're both.
[00:17:50] Speaker E: Who did.
[00:17:50] Speaker A: Well, I said they fought to the death, but I didn't say they fought to the literal death, but I said that they took. They fought to the death literally because.
[00:18:01] Speaker B: They'Re both dead, but they must have taken that literally.
[00:18:04] Speaker A: Taken fight to the figurative death literally, and are thus figuratively dead.
[00:18:10] Speaker B: This is the best recap I've ever heard.
[00:18:12] Speaker E: You guys think it's fun leaving. Like, leaving all this stuff in the recap is really cool and funny.
I wonder if he's gonna, like, take a leaf out of my book and, like. Like, sigh or do a little, like, groan at the end.
[00:18:30] Speaker B: We could all do it right now. Well, I'm not done, but I like.
[00:18:34] Speaker C: That we get to. Well, but I. Am I allowed to interrupt your recap to argue about it?
[00:18:39] Speaker A: Yeah, I'll edit this if it doesn't belong, it's fine. Go ahead.
[00:18:43] Speaker B: This is when Abby popped in.
[00:18:46] Speaker C: No, but. So here's the thing. I have a philosophical question. If we hadn't caused the captain to put the ship on lockdown, would the owl bear have escaped properly and still be alive? Like, is that where things went wrong?
[00:19:03] Speaker D: We'll never know.
[00:19:04] Speaker C: No, but I'm.
[00:19:05] Speaker D: That's why you can't go back and redo your life.
[00:19:07] Speaker C: How many owl bears fit on the head of a pin? I want to know what we could have done better.
[00:19:13] Speaker B: Oh, man.
[00:19:15] Speaker E: How many bears fit on the head?
[00:19:17] Speaker B: I think there's lots of things we could have done differently, to be honest. If you want to hear. Will talk about it. Finally got the owl bear.
[00:19:26] Speaker C: We released the owl bear.
[00:19:29] Speaker B: But here. Here's the thing.
Here's the thing. We've been on this cruise for, what, six hours? And Will's, like, let's. You know, we'll get Sean in to go out of the room. We'll go check it. We didn't even know the owl bear was in there. And we, like, fucking broke in the room and went insane. Like, we could have taken.
[00:19:48] Speaker A: What did you. You were talking about this to me, and you drew the parallel to the scene in Community where the room's on fire.
[00:19:57] Speaker B: Because I said will.
[00:19:57] Speaker E: Yes.
[00:19:58] Speaker B: Will feels like he came in and, like, when all these things are being revealed, he's not willing to pizza.
[00:20:04] Speaker A: He's back.
[00:20:05] Speaker B: And he came back as Valencia Beigeman, trying to be really cool. And, like, I have my own agenda, and I'm focused on bath. Like, fake dead bathwack. And, like, all this crazy shit's happening, and Will's just like, what do I do? I don't know what to do. I'm not even related to any of these people right now. Like, I just felt so powerless. I was like, oh, my God, Eric. I totally felt like I was just.
[00:20:25] Speaker E: Like, ah, yes, that's right.
[00:20:28] Speaker B: What a fun discovery. To me.
[00:20:29] Speaker E: No, but, Abby, in answer to your question, we all know where we went wrong again.
You guys let me role play Roscoe as covering the hole with a Rafina poster. We let you a la Shawshank Redemption.
[00:20:46] Speaker B: Oh, I forgot we're supposed to tell you what to do.
I love it. It's. We let you do it.
We should all have, like, little objection cards. Like, we just hold objection.
[00:21:02] Speaker E: We all get one. One veto card, Like a month or something. Like, I'm sorry, I have to veto your carefully considered and. Or silly improvised role play.
[00:21:16] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Amazing. It's. It's great.
[00:21:19] Speaker E: We made a lot of mistakes, Abby, but.
[00:21:21] Speaker B: Yeah, we'll see. I know.
[00:21:23] Speaker C: I know, but I feel like that. Anyway, I'm just trying to find one good thing, and the owlbear is dead. Okay, I'm done.
[00:21:31] Speaker E: No, the good thing.
[00:21:32] Speaker B: But the other thing is maybe disappointed or whatever. It has Rafina, too, because I'm sure Will will be.
[00:21:37] Speaker C: Will be.
[00:21:38] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:21:38] Speaker C: Will will be, too, for sure.
[00:21:40] Speaker E: The good thing is that did free the Albert. It died right away, but we freed it.
[00:21:48] Speaker B: Yeah. Will didn't even get. Like, he was involved in all this, and he didn't even get the prize. And, you know, we're not gonna get any prizes after this.
[00:21:54] Speaker E: The next. No, the next trial that happens in the maritime law is gonna be cross albatross against us.
[00:22:02] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:22:03] Speaker E: We're gonna sue it in a civil case saying that it owes us.
[00:22:08] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:22:09] Speaker E: Freeing the owl bear.
[00:22:11] Speaker A: Or.
[00:22:11] Speaker C: Or he sues us for not doing it properly. And. And notice how upset we are about the captain dying. I love that, too.
[00:22:19] Speaker B: I'm sad about the captain dying, but I also. Yeah, you know, I mean, I.
[00:22:23] Speaker C: The owl bear is my primary concern at the moment.
[00:22:25] Speaker D: He's only metaphorically dead.
[00:22:27] Speaker C: He's really just completely dead.
[00:22:30] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly.
[00:22:31] Speaker E: Anyway.
[00:22:32] Speaker C: Okay, sorry.
[00:22:34] Speaker E: All of this recorded in this magic recap.
[00:22:37] Speaker A: No, I'll cut this down before we play on Friday. Don't worry.
[00:22:41] Speaker E: Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Can't wait to hear it come all together.
[00:22:44] Speaker A: It'll work.
It'll be a. It'll take me a little bit of time, but.
All right, so. And then I have written down, and I wanted to actually ask you this, Adam. Roscoe's, like, all freaked out. He's, like, curled up on himself, like, against the wall. He's, like, shaking and pale. I'm trying to exactly remember why. I feel like it was like. I think you may maybe mentioned something about being reminded of the ringmaster's death, but I'm not sure on that.
[00:23:15] Speaker E: Yes, I think that. I think that part of it is.
Yes. Seeing the carnage with the Al bear, and Captain Paisley kind of has transported him back to the carnage from the. The lion.
The lions.
Two lions, probably.
Yeah.
[00:23:40] Speaker A: You don't want to just keep one. That's cool.
[00:23:46] Speaker E: And, yeah, Tanya's father.
So, yeah, that seems like. That seems like it.
But if that is. If that is it, then he's having a very pronounced, like, physical reaction to it. Like, he seems. He seems very weak and pale.
[00:24:06] Speaker A: Right. I just wanted to confirm that there was at least nothing else that was said that we would be aware of, either in or out of character. No, definitely not in character.
[00:24:17] Speaker E: Nothing was said in character, and nothing was said by me. The only information you have is what I have shared heretofore.
[00:24:25] Speaker A: Great. Thank you.
All right, we'll clean that up in post.
Rafina, meanwhile, demands to be allowed to try to heal.
I thought you were trying to demand to heal the captain. I guess it was probably the owlbear now.
[00:24:43] Speaker B: No, it was the captain.
[00:24:45] Speaker C: It was the captain. It was the captain.
[00:24:50] Speaker A: But, Phileas, I don't believe it either.
Filius.
[00:24:54] Speaker C: We'll never know, will we?
[00:24:57] Speaker A: Basically seems fine that the captain is dead. He's like, well, this happened, and, yeah, he essentially is fine with taking over the ship. Seems like he's been dissatisfied with the leadership of the captain. He's been acting erratically, making strange decisions.
You are ordered to return to your rooms. And his crew is with him of almost a dozen who all pull out their short swords and seem to be ready to essentially force you to do his will.
Meanwhile, Bathwack as Kick is down deeper in the bowels of the ship, he is with a lone crew member who had been sent down here by Phileas.
He is trying to get this crew guy to lift the lockdown. He's been informed that the captain is dead and so is trying to gain some control over the situation.
[00:26:00] Speaker B: He doesn't know that there's no magic though. Right.
[00:26:03] Speaker A: I don't think he overtly knows.
[00:26:04] Speaker B: Hasn't noticed that his mask isn't working.
[00:26:07] Speaker A: Correct. He's not noticed that his disguise is gone. Thankfully his disguise, his magic disguise involves a physical mask. So that's Lucky at least is walking around like a weirdo with a mask on. That's plain. But it is not necessarily clear that this is King Bathwack of Gully's End who was apparently dead.
He tries with some carefully worded exhortations to try to get this guy to do what he wants. And then in classic Bathwax style, Will can attest to this. He hucks the guy over his shoulder and just starts walking back to the. To the room. If there were a set of stairs involved, it would have all been almost been a shot for shot retake of a scene very early on in Pork Fried Dice history where Will is dragged up a set of stairs by Bat Thwack in a. I think a coffin maker shop.
[00:27:08] Speaker B: I think that might be right.
[00:27:10] Speaker D: Yeah, that's right.
[00:27:11] Speaker C: Oh, the coffin man.
[00:27:12] Speaker A: Early affront that will repeatedly never forgive.
[00:27:17] Speaker B: I have definitely never forgiven that. That must be why I hate you so much.
[00:27:21] Speaker A: For weeks in game and years out of game. And the head. The severed head.
[00:27:25] Speaker B: The severed head.
[00:27:27] Speaker A: You never really brought up the snowball. I guess that wasn't too big of a deal.
[00:27:31] Speaker B: It's annoying. But it's fine.
[00:27:33] Speaker A: Uh huh. Okay.
[00:27:35] Speaker C: It's fine.
[00:27:36] Speaker B: It's not a head.
[00:27:38] Speaker A: And that's what I.
[00:27:39] Speaker C: Totally fine.
Yeah.
[00:27:41] Speaker A: So that's where we are.
[00:27:42] Speaker C: Eric, very sincerely thank you so much for taking Alex's spot this week. It really like Alex came back from the retreat and was like relaxed because he knew that he could just have dinner and take a shower and enjoy pfd. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
[00:28:00] Speaker E: Yeah. That's amazing.
[00:28:01] Speaker D: Thank you, Eric.
[00:28:02] Speaker A: You're welcome.
[00:28:04] Speaker E: When's the.
When's the.
[00:28:07] Speaker C: Like when's the recap start?
[00:28:12] Speaker B: When's the.
That sounded. For a second I thought it was Abby. Like I thought that was Abby for a second.
[00:28:23] Speaker C: I can't sing three notes at once.
[00:28:25] Speaker A: This is Abby.
[00:28:28] Speaker C: Wow.
[00:28:28] Speaker A: And this is Abby.
[00:28:30] Speaker C: Yeah, that's me too.
[00:28:31] Speaker B: The best one.
[00:28:32] Speaker C: That sounds so much like my grandmother. I love that sound. She used to make that noise when she was rolling her eyes.
[00:28:37] Speaker D: O.
[00:28:38] Speaker B: Really?
I mean, it's like.
[00:28:42] Speaker C: It's. It's definitely. There's more oomph in it than my grandmother, but I can hear her voice.
[00:28:48] Speaker B: Oh, my God, that's so cute.
[00:28:50] Speaker C: She was a pro wrestler.
[00:28:55] Speaker B: That's me. That's so great.
[00:28:57] Speaker A: Abby's grandmother was the Iron Chicago.
So Phileas and his crew have their swords pointed at you.
I won't say it again. To your rooms.
Who's there?
[00:29:16] Speaker E: Rafina's there.
[00:29:16] Speaker B: Who is there? It's Amir. We're here.
[00:29:19] Speaker A: Just not everybody, but kick in your group.
[00:29:23] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:29:24] Speaker A: And then the crew.
And then two corpses. Or figurative corpses at least.
[00:29:30] Speaker B: But we don't have magic. And so. Yeah, like, gosh, like Rufina in general. What is she, a puncher person? I'm trying to think, like, looking around this room, like, without her magic recently.
[00:29:43] Speaker A: Without her past 24 hours or so. Killed someone with her crossbow.
[00:29:47] Speaker B: That is true. But without her magic. We have two elderly people, one underfed, raggedy looking person in a bunch of sheets.
Mo, who's a great physical specimen. Clock face, who's useless.
[00:30:01] Speaker A: He pulls out a stagger.
[00:30:03] Speaker B: I'm just trying to see, like, how. Because you said. You said nearly 12. But it is 11. I will say that because I heard that too.
[00:30:09] Speaker A: 11 people I liked. Almost a dozen.
[00:30:12] Speaker B: I know, but. Yeah, but there's 11 people. Just.
[00:30:15] Speaker A: Sorry.
[00:30:17] Speaker E: It's a faker's dozen.
[00:30:19] Speaker B: Like I think Will would look at. Right.
11.
[00:30:24] Speaker E: KT can try to plow ahead all they want, but fakers doesn't. It's some good.
[00:30:30] Speaker B: So good.
[00:30:31] Speaker A: Guys, we wanted to start early tonight.
[00:30:33] Speaker B: Yeah, it's 8:30.
[00:30:34] Speaker A: Eight.
[00:30:36] Speaker C: It's still a lot sooner than we normally do.
[00:30:39] Speaker A: That's true.
[00:30:42] Speaker B: I was trying to say that Will would probably look into Roscoe's eyes because I feel like you're the person that I don't. I know the least in terms of like, what I am aware that you can do. You're kind of like a weird.
[00:30:56] Speaker A: As a physical.
[00:30:57] Speaker B: Yeah, as like a person who, like, I would look at you.
[00:31:01] Speaker A: You've seen him be speedy.
[00:31:03] Speaker B: Yeah, but that. I assume that it's probably magical because he has magic and he's an old guy otherwise. So I'm assuming if I don't have magic and I'm feeling weaker as a young, much taller person.
This old dude must be farting and tired. You know what I'm saying? What is he gonna do?
But, like, that's. I'm looking at you to see what you look like if you're, like, scared or something. Will's like, what do we do next?
[00:31:31] Speaker E: Roscoe's not scared.
He's. He. But he just looks.
He looks very weak. His eyes are closed, and, like, there's the barest sense of, like, he's, like, 99% opaque of the way to.
[00:31:54] Speaker A: 100 years old.
[00:31:55] Speaker E: 99% of the way to.
No, there's, like. It's almost like. There's, like a sheen, a translucent sheen to him. Like, it's weird.
[00:32:08] Speaker B: Okay, well, what about Raphina? What does Rufina look like she wants to do? Will you make eye contact with me?
[00:32:15] Speaker C: Yes. She's steaming and she's looking around, and she's. She knows she doesn't have magic, but she's. She's weighing her app, her options as cleaning, laundry.
What?
[00:32:27] Speaker E: She's steaming.
[00:32:28] Speaker B: She's steaming.
[00:32:29] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
[00:32:30] Speaker B: She's preparing clams. She's preparing some clams.
Will. Will, if you look mad that at least is not giving up, I will shoot you a message. I'm under sheets, so maybe.
[00:32:44] Speaker A: Maybe nobody was shooting her a message.
[00:32:46] Speaker B: Oh, I can't.
[00:32:48] Speaker C: Damn it.
[00:32:49] Speaker B: Can't do anything. All right? I almost do that.
[00:32:54] Speaker A: You just start muttering under your breath, and she doesn't reply.
[00:32:57] Speaker B: It's the first. Yeah, it's the first time that usually I forget that I have message. This time, I think I can cast a message, forget that I can't do that.
[00:33:05] Speaker A: And then I'm like, would Will forget?
[00:33:08] Speaker B: Maybe. I don't know. Like, it's hard to keep forgetting.
[00:33:12] Speaker C: It's an intense moment.
[00:33:14] Speaker B: It was. It was going to be. Well, I mean, I shouldn't say it because then Rafina will hear it, but, like. Well, like, Will.
[00:33:20] Speaker A: Abby can.
[00:33:20] Speaker B: Will. Will wink at you. He'll wink at you. What's your reaction?
[00:33:24] Speaker C: If you see through the sheets, you waking.
[00:33:28] Speaker B: It's like this. It's like a veil. It's like a hijab or something.
[00:33:31] Speaker C: Thank you for the Claire. Yeah, I forgot.
[00:33:33] Speaker A: It's not like a Charlie Brown ghost.
[00:33:35] Speaker C: Yeah, that's what I was envisioning is like.
[00:33:37] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm Pig Pen. I'm completely dirty sheep.
God, they probably have fish all over them, too.
Okay, so I wink at you. What is your reaction? Do you look hopeful or do you look confused or. I'm like, oh, God, let's see what I can.
[00:33:53] Speaker A: Rafina's just tired. Of being flirted with.
[00:33:55] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:33:56] Speaker A: Rolls her eyes. God, not this again.
[00:33:59] Speaker C: Rafina looks a little taken aback. It's still furious.
And is it possible for me to. Let's see. I'm gonna look and see where we are.
There we go. That doesn't help me. Are we actually in place where we are on the map?
[00:34:18] Speaker A: I'm not even looking at the map.
[00:34:21] Speaker C: I'm just wondering how physically close I am to Will.
[00:34:24] Speaker A: Oh, no, you. You're over here.
You guys are all over in this area.
[00:34:30] Speaker C: Okay, but when you say no, you mean yes, I'm physically close.
[00:34:39] Speaker A: Yeah, you're. Yeah, yeah. You're physically close to Will. Sorry.
[00:34:45] Speaker C: I waggle my eyebrows.
[00:34:47] Speaker B: Okay. All right. All right. Awesome. Okay, so I'm going to put myself in front of you, in between, like, the swords and her. Like, I don't know where we are. Like, I'm assuming we're all in this bloody hallway. Is that where we are? The bloody hallway?
And I'm gonna say, like, listen, I don't know how you do things in Trent, but where I come from, you treat the captain's wife with much more grace and kindness than you are doing right now.
[00:35:30] Speaker A: I'm sorry, but this is not my wife.
[00:35:33] Speaker B: The former captain. I don't know how it is in.
[00:35:36] Speaker A: Trent, but I don't think we're in Trent, sir. Now, please, if you would return to your room.
You're on my ship. That's where we are.
[00:35:46] Speaker B: I look at Raphina, he's saying it's his ship now.
[00:35:51] Speaker C: Well, I'm not sure everyone would agree with that. Maybe we should take a poll.
What do you think? Everyone else?
[00:36:00] Speaker B: I look at the women specifically. You said there are women, like, Is that how things work? The women who are married to like it. Wouldn't the property go to the wife, typically?
[00:36:18] Speaker A: What are you talking about?
[00:36:20] Speaker B: Who says that?
[00:36:21] Speaker A: Phileas?
[00:36:23] Speaker B: What do you mean, what am I talking about?
[00:36:25] Speaker A: Who is whose wife?
[00:36:28] Speaker B: I look at Rafina and hope that she caught on to what I was doing.
[00:36:34] Speaker C: But, like, Rafina's on. On board. Literally and figuratively.
[00:36:43] Speaker B: Not dead.
[00:36:44] Speaker A: Yes. I married this owl bear.
[00:36:50] Speaker B: That would be what happens. Oh, my God.
[00:36:53] Speaker C: That would be amazing.
[00:36:57] Speaker B: Well, the captain and the captain's wife, I believe, jointly own property.
This ship was the former captain's property, but he is dead now. And I would assume the ship would go to his wife.
[00:37:13] Speaker A: Well, I don't know about that. But also, he wasn't married, so.
[00:37:19] Speaker B: What do you mean he wasn't married?
[00:37:21] Speaker A: Somewhat of a moot point.
[00:37:22] Speaker B: You Weren't invited to the ceremony, but he clearly got married on the ship to this person that he loves very much. I'm sorry that you weren't aware of that fact, but that doesn't change anything.
I mean, do you want me to roll for deception? Yeah, yeah, go ahead, Rafina.
[00:37:38] Speaker C: Rafina pulls out the diamond and says, if we're not married, where did I get.
[00:37:48] Speaker A: You can roll deception too.
[00:37:53] Speaker C: Can I?
[00:38:01] Speaker A: Five deception. Uh.
[00:38:02] Speaker C: Oh. Damn it.
She drops. Drops it on the floor.
[00:38:09] Speaker A: Drops it on into the owlbear's mouth.
A ceremony. I would have certainly been made aware of that as the first mate on the ship.
[00:38:23] Speaker B: Oh, as the first mate, who clearly does not have any loyalty to your captain, I can see why you weren't invited to such a romantic event.
[00:38:32] Speaker A: And you're saying that the captain just gave you just a diamond?
[00:38:37] Speaker C: We didn't have time to fashion it into a ring. I mean, would we? Of course not.
[00:38:43] Speaker A: No, because you just met.
[00:38:49] Speaker C: How long was it. How long did it take the captain to form an attachment to Chloe the ferret?
[00:38:55] Speaker A: Oh, I don't know. She was around before I was.
[00:38:59] Speaker C: Well, as his special friend, I can tell you that it was ferret love at first sight.
[00:39:07] Speaker A: Special friend? Is that how a wife would refer to herself? I don't know.
[00:39:18] Speaker C: Rafina says and stomps her foot.
I'm sorry.
[00:39:22] Speaker B: I'm hurt.
[00:39:23] Speaker C: It's hard for me to put myself there because I'm giggling about it.
[00:39:28] Speaker A: No giggling.
[00:39:30] Speaker C: Don't criticize my words. I'm in mourning.
[00:39:36] Speaker A: Okay, give me an intimidation check.
[00:39:39] Speaker C: Ooh.
[00:39:40] Speaker E: Oh.
[00:39:41] Speaker C: Rufina really should have a higher intimidation check, which I'm gonna call it modifier. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Are you hanging on?
[00:39:55] Speaker E: Whoops.
[00:39:55] Speaker C: What just happened?
[00:39:56] Speaker A: Did I roll seven?
[00:39:59] Speaker C: Did I roll it twice? That was weird.
[00:40:01] Speaker A: No.
Well, I'm sure we'll sort all this of this out. But in the meantime, I think you. No, you.
He seems a little flustered. You. You need to get back to your rooms. Clearly this is a serious situation and we need to get all this sorted out. And for your safety, we need you to return to your cabins.
[00:40:26] Speaker B: Are we allowed to go together? Can we can all Because I don't know if I trust. Now, I'm very concerned. You might want to take a poll of any other passengers on the ship because they might have heard of the marriage. But you seem like you might be. Look at these swords. Out.
[00:40:42] Speaker A: All of that. Out.
[00:40:43] Speaker B: But for now, I want to protect Rafina. I don't.
[00:40:46] Speaker A: There is a dead captain who we discovered near some passengers, and I think that you need to. Come on. Let's go. Boys. Girls, let's go. Let's get him, boys and girls.
[00:40:59] Speaker B: He calls his crew boys and girls. Come on.
[00:41:03] Speaker A: Point your swords.
[00:41:05] Speaker B: Come on. Crisscross applesauce.
[00:41:11] Speaker E: No. Just to mock. No prank to play.
My mirth gone dim A moth whose wings are dusted with the twilight's whim.
[00:41:30] Speaker A: Yeah. All right. You can mutter your nonsense in your room. Let's go, old man.
[00:41:38] Speaker E: The laughter in the leaves, the whispers in the dew.
[00:41:45] Speaker B: They echo faintly now.
[00:41:48] Speaker E: A whisper barely true.
[00:41:56] Speaker B: Huh?
[00:41:57] Speaker C: I can't write all that down.
[00:42:00] Speaker B: I look at Roscoe again, like, this. Big eyes. Because at first I was like, yeah, you. And now I'm like, oh, God.
Big eyes through the sheets.
[00:42:11] Speaker C: Rafina says, roscoe, are you feeling ill?
[00:42:16] Speaker E: Roscoe's just sitting there. His eyes are still shut tight, and he's not. He's not. He's not going to move unless somebody moves him.
[00:42:25] Speaker A: All right. Is anybody else moving?
[00:42:28] Speaker B: I will. If. If it looks like they're starting to. Roscoe won't move, and they're really advancing. Are their swords drawn?
[00:42:34] Speaker A: They are.
[00:42:34] Speaker B: I will, like, put an arm around Roscoe and Rafina and kind of. Because, like, I'm now trying to pretend like I'm concerned about Rafina, when, in fact, Rafina could probably kick my ass at this point.
[00:42:47] Speaker A: And, like, at this point and at all points.
[00:42:50] Speaker B: And at all points.
Yes.
But, yeah, like, can we, like. I'm assuming Will doesn't want to go have us be split up. That's what he's worried about. It's fine if we. If they want to put us in a room somewhere, as long as they don't split. Split us up.
[00:43:05] Speaker C: I'm good with that. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, that's what I'm thinking, too.
[00:43:08] Speaker A: Right. So do you try to get Roscoe up? I think he's sitting down.
[00:43:11] Speaker B: Oh, he's sitting down. Yeah, sure. I'll try to get him up.
[00:43:16] Speaker E: Okay.
[00:43:18] Speaker C: Does he go boneless or is he willing?
[00:43:21] Speaker E: Yeah, he's. He's. He's pretty limp.
[00:43:23] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:43:24] Speaker E: What room are we going to?
[00:43:26] Speaker C: My terrarium is probably in my room. Right. I don't have it here.
[00:43:30] Speaker A: Oh, probably. That sounds reasonable.
[00:43:33] Speaker C: I would like to put Roscoe in.
[00:43:34] Speaker A: The terrarium, but it's scratching at the door. It needs to go out.
[00:43:41] Speaker E: When. If you guys lift him up, his eyes will open just long enough to kind of make eye contact with Phileas, and he'll. And he'll say as. As we Walk away, I guess, but right into Phileas's eyes.
But time, that old deceiver spins a finer thread and even shadows stretch entire when the light is fled.
[00:44:11] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:44:12] Speaker C: He sounds like lyrics to a David Bowie song from the 60s.
[00:44:20] Speaker A: They're able to, I guess, heft Roscoe to his feet. Is Roscoe super heavy?
[00:44:29] Speaker E: No, but I think that the intention of those last two lines to Fillius was to unnerve him.
[00:44:40] Speaker C: Is there something you can roll to?
[00:44:41] Speaker B: Roll.
[00:44:43] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:44:43] Speaker B: Unnerving role.
[00:44:44] Speaker A: Intimidation.
[00:44:45] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:44:46] Speaker A: Yeah, go for it.
[00:44:48] Speaker B: There should be a creep out. A creep out roll.
[00:44:53] Speaker A: Like. Like the higher your charisma is, the. The lower your roll is. Like it's a minus.
[00:45:00] Speaker E: I rolled it would be cool.
[00:45:01] Speaker A: That's a cool idea.
[00:45:03] Speaker B: What?
[00:45:03] Speaker A: I love that idea.
[00:45:04] Speaker B: What?
[00:45:05] Speaker A: Certain skills that the higher your.
Your base, whatever your modifier, your attribute is, the worse you do with them. Like if your charisma is high, it's harder for you to creep people out. It's lower. It's easier.
Sure.
[00:45:24] Speaker B: I wonder what that would work for.
[00:45:26] Speaker E: That sounds like it works. Call of Cthulhu. Shit. Thanks. Love it.
[00:45:31] Speaker A: 24 intimidation.
[00:45:33] Speaker B: Nice creep.
[00:45:34] Speaker C: Nice.
[00:45:39] Speaker A: You.
We could talk about time and threads when you.
When we'll figure all this out. Sir, are you feeling all right? Do you need anything?
[00:46:01] Speaker E: Can we say some mustard squirts out of a flower on Roscoe's.
[00:46:05] Speaker B: Oh my God.
[00:46:08] Speaker E: Like in a cloudy big goblin.
[00:46:09] Speaker A: Mustard.
[00:46:10] Speaker B: Right. What?
[00:46:12] Speaker A: Mustard. Right where?
[00:46:14] Speaker B: Right there. Amazing.
[00:46:15] Speaker E: I just want to squirt him in the eyes. In the eye with some mustard.
[00:46:21] Speaker A: In the eyes? Yeah. That's a big ask.
I'm okay with you having, for some God forsaken reason, a flower on your lapel that squirts mustard that we haven't heard of yet.
[00:46:39] Speaker C: We do know about a flower, don't we?
[00:46:42] Speaker B: He has an ugly plaid vest and ugly tie. He said.
[00:46:46] Speaker C: Okay. I feel like I've always pictured that flower.
[00:46:48] Speaker B: I mean, that's fine.
[00:46:49] Speaker E: If there's a flower there, there's a mustard flower.
[00:46:52] Speaker A: I guess you were in the circus. Like that. That scans.
I just don't know how precise your aim would be with.
[00:47:03] Speaker C: It's mustard gas. It doesn't have to be right in the eye.
[00:47:06] Speaker A: Oh, okay, here we go again. Violating Geneva Convention.
[00:47:11] Speaker E: Actually, I mean, it sounds like. I mean, a gas would actually be more useful right now if it could knock out all 11 of these crew members.
That would be pretty cool. But that seems op. So I'll just squirt phillies in the eyes with mustard.
[00:47:26] Speaker A: All right. You can try to Shoot him in the eyes. Give me. I guess just a dex check, not a save 12. All right. You managed to get some mustard on his face.
Ah, what is this?
Was this mustard?
[00:47:56] Speaker E: Roscoe just smiles and falls. Doesn't fall asleep because he can't sleep, but.
[00:48:06] Speaker A: He flicks it off of his hand, generally in your direction, and then says, get him out of here.
And the crew start to try to usher you towards the rooms, and you.
[00:48:24] Speaker B: Go, as long as they let us go in the same room.
[00:48:28] Speaker A: Well, we're getting there. You're not at the rooms yet.
[00:48:31] Speaker B: Yeah, I guess we're going.
[00:48:31] Speaker A: We're going that direction. Okay, so you're headed towards the rooms.
Bathwack.
[00:48:38] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:48:39] Speaker A: You've got a guy on your shoulder. If you had a nickel for every time you heard that, it wouldn't mean anything because there's no nickels in this world.
You're headed back to the control room, I think.
[00:48:54] Speaker D: Yeah, that's right.
And I can't remember the last thing I said to him. I can't remember what I said to him. I think it.
[00:49:03] Speaker B: I think you said, shut up. Actually, was the last thing you said to him because he was saying to take you back. You had said, are you going to lift the lockdown? Will you lift the lockdown? You need to lift the lockdown. Something like that is a combination of.
[00:49:16] Speaker D: Three sentences, and he's like, no, take me back. Yeah, all right, good.
All right, we're going through the door into the room with all the levers that I don't understand.
[00:49:26] Speaker A: Yep, exactly. Lots of controls and levers and switches and knobs and gears and pulleys and winches and dials and keycause.
[00:49:38] Speaker B: All right, you can list those, but you can't list goods and sundries because Eric's brain is a robot.
You're like gears, levers. Those things make sense. Can't list candles or matches or go.
[00:49:53] Speaker C: On laundry detergent sacks.
[00:49:56] Speaker B: Laundry detergent, soap, chalk, ink bottles.
[00:50:00] Speaker C: Crumb butler.
[00:50:02] Speaker B: Crumb butler? Yeah. All these things are in D and D land. And what's the crumb butler, by the way?
[00:50:08] Speaker C: The little thing that. It's like a teeny, tiny brush that you use or even just like a flat edge that you use to get crumbs off of a board or off a table.
[00:50:17] Speaker B: Oh, okay.
[00:50:18] Speaker C: I love that. It's called a crumb butler.
[00:50:20] Speaker B: That's very cute.
[00:50:22] Speaker D: It's like a really small version of the. Like this. The swords that they slide into a box that has someone in it when cutting them in half to Cut them in half.
[00:50:32] Speaker C: Yeah, it's like the.
[00:50:34] Speaker B: Oh, the metal thing. It's like a metal.
[00:50:37] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:50:37] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:50:38] Speaker E: All right.
[00:50:38] Speaker B: Interesting.
[00:50:39] Speaker D: But smaller than that. Well, they definitely.
[00:50:41] Speaker A: Well, maybe. Depends on maybe.
[00:50:43] Speaker D: Unless you.
[00:50:44] Speaker B: Sundry.
[00:50:44] Speaker D: Unless you need a giant crumb butler, you just run it down the whole length of the table. Knock everything onto the floor.
All right, we're going to. Yeah, we're going to this room. I'm just going to carry him through the door. Are there. How many exits are there in this room?
[00:51:06] Speaker A: One. The one you came in.
[00:51:07] Speaker D: The one who came in. Great.
[00:51:12] Speaker A: Perfect for a hostage situation.
[00:51:14] Speaker D: Exactly.
Listen, I'm gonna put you down.
[00:51:19] Speaker A: Good.
[00:51:21] Speaker D: You. You have to raise the lockdown.
[00:51:24] Speaker A: I have to do no such thing.
[00:51:27] Speaker D: It's really important.
[00:51:29] Speaker A: I think it's important that you listen to me.
[00:51:31] Speaker C: Sir.
[00:51:32] Speaker A: You're a passenger on the ship. I am a crew member. And you need to do as you're told. Please come with me and we're going to get you to your room.
It's not safe for you to be in here.
[00:51:49] Speaker D: It's not safe?
No, it's not safe for you.
I'm going to set him down.
[00:51:58] Speaker A: He says no. I've been inoculated against the massive amounts of. Of radiation.
I'm wearing lead underwear.
[00:52:10] Speaker D: That's awesome.
[00:52:12] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:52:14] Speaker A: He doesn't say that.
[00:52:15] Speaker C: Amazing.
[00:52:17] Speaker D: I'm gonna set him down and draw my sword.
[00:52:23] Speaker A: And he draws his sword. It looks very small in comparison. It's a short sword. And your sword is very big.
[00:52:31] Speaker D: Listen, we're not enemies.
[00:52:33] Speaker A: Oh. I have a question.
[00:52:35] Speaker D: Yeah?
[00:52:35] Speaker A: Does your sword, like, normally glow at all or anything like that?
[00:52:39] Speaker D: No, but it could. That's what I was checking.
[00:52:41] Speaker A: But doesn't.
[00:52:42] Speaker D: It does. Not right now.
[00:52:43] Speaker A: Okay. Okay. So you wouldn't expect it to glow. Okay, cool.
[00:52:47] Speaker D: No, no, no.
[00:52:48] Speaker A: All right.
[00:52:48] Speaker D: It's just a silver long sword.
[00:52:50] Speaker A: Cool. Cool. Go.
[00:52:51] Speaker D: Nothing special yet.
Yeah, listen. We're not enemies.
[00:52:58] Speaker A: You pulled your sword on me.
[00:53:00] Speaker D: You need to. You need to raise the lockdown.
[00:53:04] Speaker A: You're not my captain.
Sir, he's shaking a little bit.
[00:53:13] Speaker D: I can't.
If I say any more. You can't leave this room.
[00:53:27] Speaker A: Let's just go before this gets any further. We can forget all this happened. Just put that away and let's go.
[00:53:37] Speaker D: If you. If you breathe a word of this to anyone, I have to kill you.
And I'm gonna take my mask off.
[00:53:48] Speaker E: I gotta say, this whole scene is giving me Billy Bob Thornton and Colin Hanks in the Fargo pilot vibes. Bathwack as Bill. As Malvo and this crew member is Colin Hanks.
[00:54:06] Speaker B: Oh, geez.
[00:54:07] Speaker D: Wait, I actually don't know.
[00:54:09] Speaker B: This Billy Bob Thornton is terrifying as this villain guy. He's so good at killing people. Yeah. He does not like. But he's. But he's very charismatic when he wants to be. He's very smart.
[00:54:22] Speaker A: And Colin Hanks is a cop who pulls him over just for. He, like, runs a stop sign or whatever. But he, like, completely intimidates.
[00:54:31] Speaker B: You're not going to arrest me. Like, basically. Yeah, it's very like.
[00:54:35] Speaker E: And he talks about how, like, you know, they. They used to have, like, dragons or sea monsters on maps.
[00:54:42] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:54:42] Speaker E: You're not supposed to go there. Like, talking in this way that's gesturing toward things that this crew member. Right. Can't possibly understand. Like, the whole dynamic is just so captured here.
[00:54:54] Speaker A: I love it.
[00:54:56] Speaker C: Nice.
[00:54:58] Speaker A: All right, so you pull your mask off, and the crew member goes.
That's one of my favorite new sounds. If you couldn't.
[00:55:07] Speaker D: Yeah, I don't. Yeah, I was. I was toying with the idea of making it even more dramatic, but I.
[00:55:15] Speaker A: Don'T know if you're math.
[00:55:16] Speaker D: I pay out.
[00:55:18] Speaker A: And his pants.
[00:55:19] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:55:21] Speaker B: Does a backflip.
[00:55:25] Speaker A: And then pulls his mask off.
[00:55:26] Speaker D: But it's really bad, though. I really don't want to tell this guy, but I also don't want to.
[00:55:32] Speaker B: Well, don't worry. If. If Will finds out you told this guy. Will will definitely kill this guy.
[00:55:39] Speaker A: It's the benefits of having Will as a friend.
[00:55:41] Speaker B: That's the thing. Yeah. Like, if things get messy, I'm the.
[00:55:43] Speaker C: One that's going to kill.
[00:55:44] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:55:45] Speaker A: Feel bad about killing.
[00:55:46] Speaker B: That's happened already. I was like, I'll be the one that does it, guys. Don't worry about it. And it happened, I think, eventually.
[00:55:53] Speaker A: That's why I have this on my sound board.
[00:55:57] Speaker D: And you definitely had Mo kill somebody, right?
[00:56:00] Speaker B: Yeah. Mo killed the captain. Captain.
[00:56:02] Speaker A: Different captain.
[00:56:03] Speaker B: Yeah. Captain Thundercloud.
Odysseus Ricardo. Odysseus.
Mo killed him.
[00:56:10] Speaker C: Odysseus.
[00:56:11] Speaker D: All right, well, crap. No, I've done it.
[00:56:13] Speaker A: Okay, so he. He does gasp, though it doesn't sound like that exactly is more what it sounds like. And he throws his sword down and kneels with that same fist to the forehead loyalty gesture.
[00:56:28] Speaker E: Oh, wow.
[00:56:29] Speaker A: You gave Trofast or. Right? Is that who. Wait.
[00:56:33] Speaker B: Yeah.
And then Bathwack, I think, did it back to him or something.
[00:56:38] Speaker D: Yeah. No, no, no, no. Stand. Stand. We have to unleash.
[00:56:43] Speaker A: You're not dead.
[00:56:44] Speaker B: Whoa.
[00:56:45] Speaker D: I am just. I'm dead. Let's not speak of this.
But you have to raise the field. I mean the. You have to raise the.
[00:56:56] Speaker C: Shoot.
[00:56:56] Speaker D: Lockdown.
[00:56:57] Speaker A: Lockdown? Yeah. You don't know about that.
[00:56:59] Speaker D: I don't know about the field.
[00:57:00] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah.
What's happening? Why. No, I should not question you. Of course, of course, of course, yes. Just. Just give me a moment. And he runs over and pulls a full a few crumb butlers and turns a couple terrines, rustles a few aprons. And you hear up above.
And he turns to you and he says. What about.
What about the anti magic field?
[00:57:44] Speaker D: Oh, what about it?
[00:57:47] Speaker A: Do you want me to turn that off too?
I've removed all the physical barriers.
Okay.
And he goes and does some more things that you can memorize if you like, but he does them. And I'm not going to describe them now because I know what they are.
[00:58:04] Speaker D: I am going to pay attention. But I don't. It looks a little complicated.
[00:58:08] Speaker A: It's a little complicated.
All right, that's done.
What else do you need?
[00:58:18] Speaker D: I think we're good here. Please say nothing to anyone.
[00:58:22] Speaker A: No, of course. Your secret is safe with me.
Do you need me to.
Should I stay with you? In your disguise, Are you heading back to retake what is yours? Your throne?
[00:58:37] Speaker B: Oh God.
[00:58:40] Speaker D: Let's speak no more of this. I'll put the mask on and cast disguise.
[00:58:45] Speaker A: Okay. And it works. You check. And from what you can tell, your disguise is back in place.
[00:58:54] Speaker D: Yeah.
Thank you. Remember your promise.
[00:58:59] Speaker A: Oh, of course.
[00:59:00] Speaker D: On your life.
[00:59:01] Speaker A: On my life.
[00:59:02] Speaker D: Sheath the sword.
[00:59:06] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:59:08] Speaker A: Read, Read. Thorin is at your command. I will.
[00:59:13] Speaker D: What does his name.
[00:59:15] Speaker A: Reed? Thorin.
[00:59:17] Speaker D: Good. Now I'll know his name if I have to kill.
[00:59:18] Speaker A: R E E D. R E E D what now? Are you going to take over the ship?
[00:59:26] Speaker D: No, I'm going back in hiding.
[00:59:29] Speaker A: Did you kill the Captain?
[00:59:31] Speaker D: But we need to kill the Captain. What?
No. I don't know what's happened.
[00:59:37] Speaker A: Oh, okay. And he winks at you.
[00:59:39] Speaker D: What? All right. No, but we need a.
[00:59:45] Speaker A: Yeah. What's the next. What's the next plan? What? What's the next step?
[00:59:48] Speaker D: Aren't you going to be.
Aren't you going to have to answer for raising the lockdown.
[00:59:56] Speaker A: Oh, fuck.
Are you trying to get away? I can maybe put it back on once you're gone. Or.
I mean, you'll protect me, right?
[01:00:10] Speaker B: Oh, no.
[01:00:25] Speaker D: Yes, of course I'll protect you.
[01:00:27] Speaker A: Okay.
[01:00:27] Speaker D: And then I'll knock him out.
The reason I'm doing it though is so that he has a. He has a plausible yeah.
[01:00:36] Speaker A: Okay.
[01:00:37] Speaker C: Yeah, I love it.
[01:00:38] Speaker A: Yes.
[01:00:39] Speaker C: I'll protect you by knocking you out.
[01:00:42] Speaker A: You can knock him out easily. You don't have to roll anything. I just want to know how you do it.
[01:00:48] Speaker D: Um.
[01:00:51] Speaker A: Chloroform?
[01:00:53] Speaker D: No, I just very quickly hit him.
[01:00:55] Speaker C: Okay, you punch him.
[01:00:57] Speaker D: Yeah.
[01:00:57] Speaker C: You, like, flick him with your finger. You go.
[01:01:03] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, he's polaxed. Flat on his back.
[01:01:06] Speaker D: Yeah. I mean, hopefully he'll. Hopefully he'll understand.
[01:01:14] Speaker B: You just got punched.
[01:01:16] Speaker A: Never guess where I got this scar.
[01:01:18] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly.
Punched me in the dome.
[01:01:23] Speaker A: All right.
Yep, he's knocked out. Now what? All right, you going to push a couple buttons before you go?
[01:01:30] Speaker D: No, no, no. I'll blow the ship up.
[01:01:33] Speaker A: The ship flips upside down.
[01:01:38] Speaker B: Amazing.
[01:01:40] Speaker A: Hey, everyone, if you like what you hear, please leave us a kind review wherever you listen to us. Also, consider supporting us by subscribing to us on ko [email protected] supportpfd where you can gain access to lots of exclusive treats and behind the scenes goodies. Thanks for listening and we'll see you next time.
