[00:00:00] Speaker A: Guess what? Pork fried dice is not on Patreon, despite all of our in session jokes about it.
[00:00:06] Speaker B: Nope. We're on ko fi. You can find
[email protected] supportpfd.
[00:00:13] Speaker A: We just wanted to make it super confusing for all our listeners.
[00:00:17] Speaker B: What else is new?
[00:00:18] Speaker A: Yay.
[00:00:20] Speaker B: You're listening to the show about substance abuse disorders. For broads, it's pork fried dice.
I'm Eric, and I'm the dungeon master.
[00:00:32] Speaker C: I'm Abby, and I play Rufina.
[00:00:35] Speaker B: I'm Alex, and I play Batwack.
[00:00:38] Speaker A: I'm kt and I play will.
[00:00:42] Speaker D: I'm Adam and I play Roscoe.
[00:00:47] Speaker B: Hold onto your haversacks. Let's roll.
[00:00:53] Speaker E: All right, now, mo mama. Mo what? Now you. You jump in about what?
[00:00:58] Speaker B: Where? Jump in where?
[00:00:59] Speaker E: Well, I want to hear. You're oh, no.
[00:01:01] Speaker B: What? My. Oh, no.
[00:01:04] Speaker E: Yeah, you're oh, no.
[00:01:05] Speaker B: Oi, noi.
[00:01:08] Speaker E: Yeah, does that. It tron.
[00:01:10] Speaker B: Oh, no.
What the f. And then she. And then rafina comes in.
[00:01:16] Speaker A: Yay.
So I just. I just have to specifically say that Eric. So this is not just a thing. Eric drives me crazy with this all the time. This has been something he's been saying for a year because it was, like, onto TikTok. It's like, tick tock. Somebody on TikTok started saying, r nar my part far. Liar.
[00:01:34] Speaker B: Ar my part far lrr.
[00:01:37] Speaker A: So I fucking hate this. Like, it is legit. It destroys my sense of humor. And now he's doing it.
[00:01:43] Speaker B: And now I'm doing it.
[00:01:44] Speaker A: To you guys and all our listeners, congratulations. Enjoy the rest of your day.
[00:01:48] Speaker B: Hey, I'm trying to get a Patreon together. Maybe one of the tiers could include our nar my part.
[00:01:54] Speaker A: Farley from every. As a ringtone, as a courtesy from me, we'll see if you join a.
[00:02:01] Speaker B: Certain tier of our Patreon, KT will have to set that as their ringtone on their phone.
[00:02:06] Speaker A: Oh, no way. No way.
[00:02:07] Speaker D: Oh, that's amazing.
[00:02:08] Speaker B: That's not how Patreon works.
[00:02:10] Speaker D: That's like a $1000 level.
[00:02:14] Speaker A: Holy moly. Can you scratch this over here?
[00:02:18] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, I'll scratch it back.
[00:02:20] Speaker A: How up?
[00:02:22] Speaker B: Oh, there's a wallaby. He's getting at you. I'm going to scratch him. Ow.
[00:02:26] Speaker A: Get away from me. And keep playing the game. Shut up. With an ardor.
[00:02:31] Speaker B: I didn't say no.
[00:02:32] Speaker C: Tina comes in.
[00:02:33] Speaker A: Thank goodness.
[00:02:34] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:02:34] Speaker C: Oh, shimmy, shimmy, shimmy. Come here.
[00:02:37] Speaker B: Huh?
[00:02:37] Speaker A: What?
[00:02:38] Speaker C: Come here.
[00:02:38] Speaker A: Please.
[00:02:39] Speaker B: No. Sorry, guys. Oh, that's all right. You go and talk to that little Sheila over there.
[00:02:45] Speaker A: What the fuck? Just call her abroad.
[00:02:48] Speaker B: Yar, that's offensive.
[00:02:50] Speaker A: I'm not there.
[00:02:51] Speaker B: Sheila. Shayla. Okay, so I live. And brave.
Yeah, I live in breath, too. What?
[00:03:00] Speaker C: Hi.
[00:03:01] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Sorry. Bye, guys. Horror female. What's up? Do we got the goods?
[00:03:07] Speaker C: We don't got the good. Jimmy, we need your skills. What do you think about a difficult lock on a door?
[00:03:15] Speaker B: Oh, that sounds like a puzzle I could master.
[00:03:18] Speaker A: Oh, God.
[00:03:20] Speaker C: That is what I think, too. So can you please help us? Do you know which one his room is?
[00:03:26] Speaker B: Oh, I mean, I think it's. Isn't it this door just right out here that we were all gathered around.
[00:03:30] Speaker C: And then we said, I saw that one. I just wanted to make sure you were paid.
[00:03:33] Speaker B: Oh, you tested me, all right. I see I'm still in your puzzling warm down. Okay, I could see it that way. I was gonna say that I'm still in probation as the puzzle master, but.
[00:03:44] Speaker C: You had tenure the moment you walked into my life. Sheemyena.
[00:03:49] Speaker E: Oh.
[00:03:52] Speaker B: Wow. That's great.
[00:03:55] Speaker D: Yeah, but that's only. Cause he's ten years old.
[00:03:57] Speaker A: Oh, my God. You're ten years old. I love that.
[00:04:00] Speaker B: 14.
[00:04:04] Speaker C: All right, so, yes, will, I will just give you some background. Will is very concerned about the danger level of these animals.
[00:04:15] Speaker B: Concerned about the danger.
[00:04:16] Speaker C: He's concerned about the danger level of these creatures. I think maybe he's overblowing it a little bit.
[00:04:22] Speaker B: Yeah, sounds like weird.
[00:04:23] Speaker C: Acting as if he rolled two ones in a row. That's kind of where we're at with that.
[00:04:27] Speaker B: I do not know what that means, but it sounds accurate.
[00:04:30] Speaker C: And I didn't actually say it, so we're good.
[00:04:33] Speaker B: Good. All right.
[00:04:34] Speaker C: But I want you to get in there, and I want you to.
I guess. I guess I'm going to sort of. I'm. I'm gonna be your lookout person so that nobody comes along.
[00:04:45] Speaker B: Right.
[00:04:45] Speaker C: And then we can go in together and find us an owl bear.
[00:04:49] Speaker B: Okay. Okay. All right, well, let's get to it. Slaps his hands together, rubs them.
[00:04:55] Speaker C: High five.
[00:04:55] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Okay.
[00:04:57] Speaker C: Mash.
[00:04:58] Speaker B: Wait, do I have a sound for that?
[00:04:59] Speaker D: Mash.
[00:05:00] Speaker B: Do I have a sound for that? I think I might. Wait. Do I. No, I didn't add it. Never mind. Um, I was gonna put it on a face slap sound, which would have been appropriate, but I don't have a face slap sound. I lied.
[00:05:13] Speaker C: Can you find the sound for Garfield eating lasagna?
[00:05:15] Speaker B: Uh.
[00:05:19] Speaker C: Crunchy lasagna.
[00:05:20] Speaker A: The crunchiest lasagna ever. That's amazing.
[00:05:24] Speaker B: You did say cook lasagna.
[00:05:27] Speaker C: That's true. Yeah.
[00:05:28] Speaker A: Hard dehydrated lasagna.
Astronaut lasagna.
[00:05:33] Speaker B: Alright, so I'll give this a go. Do you know anything about it? Any. Any back background knowledge? I need to know? Did we give you any. Any intel?
[00:05:43] Speaker C: I just told you some intel. Yeah. And the lock is difficult.
[00:05:47] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:05:48] Speaker C: And that's it.
[00:05:49] Speaker B: All right. All right. We're on the same page.
[00:05:53] Speaker A: I just told you some intel. The lock is difficult. That's it. That was. That was so friendly, but it was perfect, but not. It was friendly, but not. It was so amazing.
[00:06:06] Speaker B: I love that.
[00:06:07] Speaker A: Delicious.
[00:06:07] Speaker C: Just barely being patient with you right now.
[00:06:10] Speaker D: Is Rafina from Minnesota?
[00:06:13] Speaker A: Yes. So perfect.
[00:06:15] Speaker D: I love that Fargo season six is all about.
[00:06:20] Speaker B: Oh, that'd be great.
[00:06:21] Speaker C: Oh, man.
[00:06:22] Speaker A: I got to see.
[00:06:22] Speaker B: We can leverage that, right? We got to get enough.
Look, eyes on us. By the time season six is being.
[00:06:29] Speaker A: Written, you got to get the original. The people who wrote original Fargo, I'm assuming, are they still involved?
[00:06:35] Speaker B: They were produced.
[00:06:39] Speaker D: Nothing did. They gave the blessing but said, hey.
[00:06:42] Speaker A: That'S cool, I guess, I don't know.
[00:06:45] Speaker C: Trust?
[00:06:46] Speaker E: Sure.
[00:06:47] Speaker D: We just have to get Noah Holly, creator of Fargo, to become a pork fried dice fan.
[00:06:54] Speaker A: Yeah, like, no problem.
[00:06:55] Speaker D: Maybe he already is. Noah?
[00:06:57] Speaker A: Noah, Holly, where are you?
[00:07:00] Speaker D: It's me, Adam, from pork fried dice. If you're listening, you know what we want to do?
We want season six, Fargo to be about a D and D character in our campaign.
[00:07:14] Speaker B: Pork Fargo dice.
[00:07:16] Speaker D: It's pork fried. Nice. Pork fried Minnesota.
[00:07:18] Speaker B: Nice.
[00:07:19] Speaker D: Nice.
[00:07:19] Speaker B: Okay. All right, so.
So, Alex.
[00:07:28] Speaker F: Yeah?
What do you think he did that?
[00:07:35] Speaker D: Abby?
[00:07:38] Speaker B: All right, these will all be on.
[00:07:39] Speaker A: The list into the microphone.
[00:07:43] Speaker B: Just all over the bro.
[00:07:44] Speaker C: Guys.
[00:07:45] Speaker B: Part of the sound is the mic shorting out.
[00:07:50] Speaker A: All right, high five.
[00:07:52] Speaker B: Slap.
[00:07:53] Speaker A: Slap sound.
[00:07:54] Speaker B: All right, let's take a look here.
[00:07:56] Speaker C: Off we go.
[00:07:57] Speaker B: Oh, I think this might be trapped. It's gonna be tricky.
[00:08:02] Speaker C: I'm watching the up and down the hallway. Do I need to roll anything for perception?
[00:08:07] Speaker B: You could give me a perception check. Rafina, that would be much appreciated.
[00:08:12] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:08:17] Speaker B: That'S a 22 listeners. A 22.
[00:08:21] Speaker C: All right, good. I'm glad to hear that. That went well.
[00:08:23] Speaker B: It did. So you hear from within the drinking room, you hear some loud laughter. We're gonna have to find out what happens with that in a little bit.
[00:08:38] Speaker C: Thought we were giants.
[00:08:40] Speaker B: No, no, I'm just.
[00:08:41] Speaker C: You can't ever start a sentence like that.
[00:08:43] Speaker B: Eric.
[00:08:43] Speaker C: We're gonna all.
[00:08:44] Speaker D: We're gonna have to find out.
[00:08:45] Speaker B: Oh, okay. I hit the wrong button on my soundboard.
[00:08:49] Speaker A: Sorry, guys.
[00:08:51] Speaker C: Internal sound.
[00:08:52] Speaker B: I could have that as a sound.
I'm just saying that we're gonna have to back solve what that big laughter was about when we cut back to them. Whether that's today or in four weeks or whatever we're next playing that'll be successful.
Otherwise, you don't hear or see anything. Rufina.
[00:09:15] Speaker C: Okay, great.
[00:09:16] Speaker B: Except you slightly hear the sound of the water outside. As this vessel cuts a mighty line through the waters of Desqueeni Bay.
[00:09:27] Speaker C: Disqueeny bay. All the fish swimming around the boat that I can't catch. I hear that, too.
[00:09:38] Speaker B: All right, Rafina, is the coast clear? I'm going to give this a shot.
[00:09:42] Speaker C: Yep, it's all clear.
[00:09:44] Speaker B: All right, here I go.
[00:09:45] Speaker A: It explodes right away. I saw you reaching for the keyboard. I thought he was just going to play a sound like. And the door kills Jimmy.
[00:09:58] Speaker D: His head just flies.
You guys weren't looking.
[00:10:03] Speaker A: And she was lost as something she, Eric, would do. She me, would do.
[00:10:10] Speaker D: Literally. Yeah, Katie knows.
But you're saying she me. Losing his head from a lock is something that fits shimi.
[00:10:20] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:10:22] Speaker B: Yeah. It's like this kind of thing he does all the time.
[00:10:26] Speaker D: It's so shimmy.
[00:10:27] Speaker A: That's so shimmy.
[00:10:28] Speaker B: Well, I have to say that shimi rolled a.
[00:10:33] Speaker A: What?
[00:10:33] Speaker C: What?
[00:10:33] Speaker A: What?
[00:10:34] Speaker B: It was stinky.
[00:10:35] Speaker A: Is that bad?
[00:10:36] Speaker D: It's a quick fail.
[00:10:41] Speaker C: You can't have a hundred things for a wine.
[00:10:43] Speaker A: This is ridiculous. We don't know what the hell's going on. Okay, that's a lot.
[00:10:48] Speaker B: So do you need to hear them all at this point?
[00:10:50] Speaker A: I'm gonna.
[00:10:51] Speaker C: Thanks for wand.
[00:10:53] Speaker A: Can I verify that?
[00:10:54] Speaker B: I'll just play them. Do you want to hear them?
[00:10:56] Speaker A: Holy shit.
[00:10:57] Speaker C: No, I can remember them.
[00:10:59] Speaker B: You don't have to remember them. So you've heard three so far. There's also this one I just called.
[00:11:07] Speaker C: You will.
Okay.
[00:11:09] Speaker B: And there's also this one.
And there's also this one.
[00:11:18] Speaker C: Okay. I love that.
[00:11:19] Speaker B: And there's also this one. You did hear this.
[00:11:22] Speaker A: I love these. I love the toilet.
[00:11:23] Speaker B: And then here's the last one. You blew it.
[00:11:27] Speaker A: Happy Gilmore.
[00:11:29] Speaker B: No.
[00:11:29] Speaker A: Is that. How cute are you?
[00:11:30] Speaker B: Pretty.
[00:11:31] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm feeling that pretty self explanatory. The bowling one. I was never sure.
[00:11:35] Speaker B: The bowling one's gone.
[00:11:36] Speaker C: Which end it was.
[00:11:37] Speaker A: Thank you.
[00:11:37] Speaker B: Completely gone.
[00:11:38] Speaker A: Bad. It was a bad one.
[00:11:39] Speaker B: I'm sorry. That was. That was a monster, which it was. That was a bad guy crit.
[00:11:44] Speaker C: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Okay.
[00:11:46] Speaker B: And then the monster crit fail was a burpental. Yeah, those are gone.
[00:11:49] Speaker C: That's right.
[00:11:50] Speaker B: They never hit. And I kept them on here way too long.
[00:11:53] Speaker C: I love probation.
[00:11:55] Speaker F: Life has changed.
[00:11:57] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, no. Uh oh. Alex is nervously rocking back and forth on. He's like, this whole time.
[00:12:03] Speaker D: Life has changed. Life has changed.
[00:12:05] Speaker C: Life has changed.
Yep.
[00:12:08] Speaker D: Alex, is that. Are you filling out divorce paperwork?
[00:12:14] Speaker B: Life is marriage paperwork.
[00:12:16] Speaker A: Sorry, sorry, sorry. Oh, my God.
[00:12:22] Speaker B: All right.
[00:12:22] Speaker C: Awkward.
[00:12:23] Speaker A: He rolled a natural one, I guess.
[00:12:26] Speaker B: Yes, he did. And. And so you hear a click and then a clunk, and then three somethings fly out of the dart into Shimi's face, and he falls over backwards and is laying on the floor immobile.
[00:12:50] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
[00:12:50] Speaker C: Oh, my God. We killed chiming.
[00:12:52] Speaker B: What the crap?
[00:12:53] Speaker C: Oh, my God. Okay. Okay. He has darts in his face.
[00:12:57] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:12:59] Speaker C: Okay. Rafina heals him in a flurry with a much more powerful spell than it necessitates.
[00:13:07] Speaker B: What spell is that?
[00:13:09] Speaker C: I have to find my notes.
[00:13:11] Speaker B: Okay, sorry, sorry. My sheet.
[00:13:13] Speaker C: My sheet.
[00:13:14] Speaker A: At least his head didn't fall off. Like, that's really. I kind of was expecting that. When Adam said that, I was like.
[00:13:19] Speaker B: There'S a series of 700 darts that all fire at his neck.
[00:13:31] Speaker A: You would fucking do that, though? God.
[00:13:34] Speaker B: Hello? Would it be instantaneous, or would it be over a series times 70?
[00:13:44] Speaker C: All right, so I'm gonna mass cure wounds.
[00:13:47] Speaker B: Okay, let me see here. Mass.
Isn't that something that heals, like a bunch of people?
[00:13:53] Speaker C: Yes, it is. But like I said, I'm going to do something.
I'm doing it. At least I'm not trying to raise them from the dead. Yeah, exactly.
[00:14:04] Speaker A: She's role playing.
[00:14:06] Speaker B: Hell, yeah. Look, I'm sorry to ever question Abby even casting.
[00:14:12] Speaker A: She probably has inspiration. Doesn't remember.
[00:14:14] Speaker B: Everybody does.
[00:14:15] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't think I do, do I? Let's see.
[00:14:19] Speaker B: How do you tell there's a little dragon on your character sheet?
[00:14:24] Speaker A: Inspiration.
[00:14:26] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:14:26] Speaker A: You do this?
[00:14:28] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:14:30] Speaker A: What does that mean again? I can reroll you.
[00:14:32] Speaker B: Get an advantage.
[00:14:33] Speaker A: Oh, advantage. Okay, cool. Awesome. All right, nice.
[00:14:37] Speaker B: So that does 17 points of healing to shimi, and it heals you a little bit if you need it because of your thing.
[00:14:53] Speaker C: So with that healing, do the darts just pop out of his face?
[00:14:57] Speaker B: No. So the darts are still there. What?
[00:15:00] Speaker A: They should mass hearing.
[00:15:04] Speaker B: Mass means people.
[00:15:05] Speaker A: Guess what? Mass or no ass. You know what I'm saying?
[00:15:10] Speaker B: I'm a mass hole, I guess.
[00:15:12] Speaker A: You're a mass hole. Like, seriously, she's just. She. That was. It's like an inspiration. I don't know. Listen, I hate you.
[00:15:20] Speaker B: Jamie rolled a natural one now you're rolling out divorce.
[00:15:23] Speaker A: He could have, like. You know what? He could have liked that? Probably died right away. I wonder if he even has him and he hit points. I guess we have no idea. He's really never gotten into a fight, has he?
[00:15:32] Speaker B: I mean, not if it's.
[00:15:34] Speaker A: Shut up with Arnar. Keep going. No, there's not.
[00:15:37] Speaker B: I say no.
[00:15:38] Speaker A: Get the fuck out of here. 17 points of healing to Shimi.
[00:15:42] Speaker C: I get. How many do I get? I get six, seven.
And then I gingerly but swiftly and deftly pull the darts out of his face.
[00:15:50] Speaker B: All right, so you instinctively cast mass cure wounds, and then you go to apply physical first aid slash triage, and you see that one of the darts is directly in Shimi's eye.
[00:16:04] Speaker C: Oh, no.
[00:16:05] Speaker B: Eric, he rolled a natural one. Abby, no. I'm not doing this to you.
[00:16:11] Speaker C: Oh, no. When he rolls a natural one, he, like, can't find the doorknob. He doesn't get shot with darts.
[00:16:18] Speaker B: Are you thinking we're playing bumbleberry hollows?
[00:16:22] Speaker A: Boomberry boom berry boom berry boom.
[00:16:25] Speaker D: I approve of this. This because let's not forget.
Let's flash back to one of the last interactions that Shimi had with his mother before leaving on this adventure.
[00:16:43] Speaker B: Wait, hold on. I think it. Do I have a sound that can do that?
[00:16:46] Speaker A: Uh huh.
Oh, there you go.
[00:16:49] Speaker B: It's close enough.
[00:16:50] Speaker E: Shameye.
[00:16:52] Speaker B: What, ma?
[00:16:54] Speaker A: Get in here right now.
[00:16:55] Speaker B: What do you want, you bitch?
[00:16:58] Speaker A: What the f.
You little bastard.
[00:17:04] Speaker B: I'm just trying to live my life here in this shithole town.
[00:17:08] Speaker E: I found your journal.
[00:17:10] Speaker D: Here, where you're talking about wanting to.
[00:17:12] Speaker E: Leave and go on adventures.
[00:17:13] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:17:14] Speaker B: I'm tired of morrow. Send lit. I don't want to run this store.
[00:17:17] Speaker C: I want lazy help.
[00:17:19] Speaker D: How many times do I have to tell you?
[00:17:21] Speaker B: What if.
[00:17:22] Speaker D: What if you go out on. If you go out on an adventure.
[00:17:25] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:17:26] Speaker A: You'll shoot your eye out.
[00:17:28] Speaker C: I knew that was coming about. I split second or third hat flash forward.
Well, so are you telling me that she can't deftly and swiftly pull the dart out of his eye?
[00:17:44] Speaker B: I'm not saying you can't. I'm just giving you that information so that you can decide what Rafina would do in that specific situation. They're not just in random patches of flesh. Two of them are. The third is not.
[00:17:58] Speaker C: All right, so. Well, she pulls them all out.
[00:18:02] Speaker B: All three of them?
[00:18:04] Speaker C: Yeah, she pulls all three of them out. She's in super mode.
Super fast.
[00:18:09] Speaker B: All right, give me medicine. Check. Or healing. I can't remember what it's called healing. I think it's called healing.
It's a 19 plus eight.
[00:18:22] Speaker E: Holy crap.
[00:18:23] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:18:24] Speaker A: Hell, yeah. No eye patch for Shemi? Not on this day.
[00:18:28] Speaker B: Well, it's not this today. It's not a 20, so 27 total.
[00:18:35] Speaker E: You.
[00:18:37] Speaker D: Not a critical hit.
[00:18:39] Speaker A: Okay, so what?
[00:18:40] Speaker C: All right, now we know what teams everyone is.
[00:18:43] Speaker A: Exactly. Me and Abby are going to fight you to the death.
[00:18:46] Speaker B: Yeah. Gonna fight Adam and Alex.
No, Alex abstains. Yeah, exactly.
[00:18:51] Speaker A: Alex, come over to this side. Alex.
[00:18:54] Speaker D: Alex doesn't abstain. Alex.
[00:18:57] Speaker E: Abby stains.
[00:19:00] Speaker B: Gross.
[00:19:01] Speaker A: He liked it, though. He's smiling.
[00:19:03] Speaker D: Look at him.
[00:19:10] Speaker A: You cannot use my sound.
[00:19:13] Speaker D: There we go. That's Abby staying.
[00:19:16] Speaker B: Wait, is this better?
[00:19:16] Speaker F: Boom berry, boom berry boom.
[00:19:25] Speaker B: I think it's more accurate, at least.
[00:19:30] Speaker D: Oh, wow.
[00:19:30] Speaker A: Boom. Very boom.
[00:19:34] Speaker F: Boomberry. Boomberry boom.
[00:19:37] Speaker C: I love it so much.
[00:19:39] Speaker A: I love it.
[00:19:40] Speaker D: That's amazing.
[00:19:44] Speaker A: All right, she pulls all three out. She rolls a freaking 27.
[00:19:48] Speaker B: Yeah, 27. Taddy, sad, tall. Yeah.
So you pull all three darts out, and she says, oh, or not are.
What.
What. What's going on?
[00:20:09] Speaker C: That wasn't great. You got darted.
How do you feel?
[00:20:17] Speaker B: He. He's still, like, flat on the ground.
I.
Oh, my go. My eye hurts a little bit.
[00:20:29] Speaker C: Yeah, I bet it does. Can you see out of it?
[00:20:32] Speaker B: I don't. I don't want to open. He opens the other eye a little bit. Um.
[00:20:37] Speaker A: Oh, geez.
[00:20:40] Speaker B: And he slowly puts hands up and covers the other. It's his left eye that had the dart in it. I don't. I don't know, Rafina.
[00:20:51] Speaker C: Okay, well, let's. It's.
Let's just. We're gonna do a little prayer of healing here.
[00:20:56] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:20:57] Speaker E: All right, look, you're gonna make it.
[00:21:00] Speaker B: What do I do? I sing, too.
What do I sing, too?
[00:21:07] Speaker C: Oh, you messed me up. I gotta start again.
[00:21:12] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:21:15] Speaker C: Don't. You don't have to sing. No, it's all right.
Rest and enjoy. Okay. And try not to think about darts in your eye.
[00:21:31] Speaker B: All right, we got a prayer of healing coming in.
[00:21:34] Speaker A: What is it?
[00:21:36] Speaker B: All right, they each regain some more hit points.
Oh. Oh, that's. That's better. That doesn't hurt at all now.
[00:21:49] Speaker C: Yeah. How many do I get?
[00:21:51] Speaker B: Uh, four.
[00:21:53] Speaker C: Mercy.
Oops, it went the wrong way.
[00:21:59] Speaker B: If I say mercy. Yeah.
[00:22:02] Speaker C: Mercy.
[00:22:03] Speaker D: After singing ola, ola, ola.
What is happening?
[00:22:07] Speaker B: Ola, ola, ola, mercy, mercy.
[00:22:12] Speaker C: Hello.
[00:22:13] Speaker D: Hello.
[00:22:13] Speaker E: Thank you.
[00:22:15] Speaker A: Oh. What's that from?
[00:22:17] Speaker B: Nothing. That sounds like Abby.
[00:22:19] Speaker D: I was just translating, but the way.
[00:22:21] Speaker A: That you just said it made me think it was a musical. And then I was like, is it a musical that I didn't know? And Abby was singing in different languages, the way.
[00:22:32] Speaker B: Dolly.
[00:22:34] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:22:34] Speaker D: From Ola Dolly.
[00:22:39] Speaker C: That's great.
[00:22:40] Speaker B: I love it.
[00:22:40] Speaker A: Just sounded so catchy the way Adam did it. Like.
[00:22:45] Speaker C: I think we should not. We should stop with this door. That is what I got.
[00:22:50] Speaker B: I'll get in here. I mean, I feel okay. And he takes his hand away, and he opens his eye, and it's like. It's, like, white.
[00:23:01] Speaker D: Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
[00:23:03] Speaker C: Freaking prayer of healing.
[00:23:06] Speaker B: Yeah, like, it worked really good, but it doesn't seem to be working right. Um.
[00:23:11] Speaker C: You can't see.
[00:23:12] Speaker B: He's, like, blinking it. Uh, no, no. Oh, Rafina, no, I can't see out of this eye.
[00:23:21] Speaker C: Oh, no, no. I feel very responsible for this.
[00:23:25] Speaker B: Why?
[00:23:26] Speaker C: Um.
[00:23:27] Speaker B: Wait, did you do this to me? And then I don't remember.
[00:23:30] Speaker C: No, no, it's not like that. Oh, no, it's just that I asked you to come help with this door because you're the puzzle master.
[00:23:38] Speaker B: Yeah, but, no, you can't have. You can't take responsibility. That's my role.
You just. Don't worry.
[00:23:46] Speaker A: What?
[00:23:47] Speaker C: Oh, Will is gonna be so mad at me.
[00:23:48] Speaker B: All right, well, come on.
[00:23:50] Speaker C: Okay, so. All right, we're gonna have to.
[00:23:54] Speaker B: Should I give this another shot? I'll have to give it, actually. Perceptions a little fucked, but again, it doesn't hurt at all. I feel great.
[00:24:02] Speaker C: You're gonna try it again. No, we're not doing this without your depth perception, for sure.
I think we're going to need a different plan.
I wonder if I have my arcane eye prepared. I don't. So that stick soon.
[00:24:20] Speaker A: Just pulls shimmies out.
[00:24:22] Speaker B: Third eye Abby.
[00:24:25] Speaker C: I'm just. I'm going to lend him one. I'm going to lend him mine.
[00:24:30] Speaker A: You're just plugging this in his eye socket?
[00:24:33] Speaker C: Does that work?
[00:24:35] Speaker A: Grows into a bird's nest of eggs. Shit.
[00:24:42] Speaker C: I totally did that. Unintentionally with the arcane eyes, like. Oh, man. I didn't even think about that.
[00:24:47] Speaker A: I love that.
[00:24:47] Speaker C: Okay, so let's go back. Okay, we need to call in reinforcements.
[00:24:52] Speaker B: All right. Should we find Will?
[00:24:55] Speaker C: Probably, yeah. And don't forget to call him Valencio.
[00:24:58] Speaker B: Oh, no, of course. I'm just. It's between you and our friends, one of whom can't see out of one eye.
[00:25:05] Speaker A: Oh, God.
[00:25:06] Speaker C: Would you like an eye patch? It might be very fashionable.
[00:25:09] Speaker B: Do you have an eye patch or fina, or are you just asking me rhetorically?
[00:25:14] Speaker C: I can fashion one.
[00:25:17] Speaker B: Um. What would it smell like.
[00:25:23] Speaker C: I think I have something in my patchouli pocket.
[00:25:28] Speaker B: Oh, as Shawn would say, or nar.
[00:25:35] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
[00:25:38] Speaker C: Got that accent down. Well, okay, well, we'll work on that.
[00:25:42] Speaker B: Okay. Does it, like, look gross or.
[00:25:47] Speaker C: No, it's just blanken.
[00:25:50] Speaker B: Blank. Like, blank like. I can't do.
[00:25:53] Speaker C: You can't see. What would you feel like there's poison seeping through your body slowly?
[00:26:01] Speaker B: No, like I said, I feel good.
[00:26:03] Speaker C: Okay. Okay, good.
[00:26:04] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:26:05] Speaker C: Because it is just sort of blank. Your eyes just blank, like.
[00:26:09] Speaker B: Like a blank stare or like.
[00:26:12] Speaker C: Nope, it's white.
[00:26:14] Speaker B: Oh. Oh.
[00:26:18] Speaker C: It's great for intimidating bad, bad guys.
[00:26:21] Speaker B: Yeah, but what about the ladies?
[00:26:24] Speaker C: The ladies are gonna find it mysterious and make them wonder about your past.
[00:26:28] Speaker B: Okay, are you giving me. Are you spinning this for me or you?
[00:26:33] Speaker C: Actually, I would have had to. I would have had to roll a perception check.
[00:26:36] Speaker B: You mean a deception check?
[00:26:39] Speaker C: What did I just say? A perception check.
[00:26:41] Speaker A: I love that, though, that she, me corrects Rafina.
She's like, some of your meta amazing cross universal talk is rubbing off on me.
[00:26:51] Speaker D: Rafina can't. Rufina just can't stop thinking the word perception because she's looking at what. What she me is disadvantaged in.
[00:27:00] Speaker B: It's like Fred Savage in Austin powers.
[00:27:04] Speaker A: Mole. Mole. Mole. Yep, yep.
[00:27:08] Speaker C: Let's. Let's just move right along. Let's find. Let's go to the fishing hole closely.
[00:27:14] Speaker B: What's that?
[00:27:15] Speaker C: The fishing spot. I gave it the wrong name. The fishing spot, though. There might be a hole to put the pole. Put the pole in the hole at the fishing spot so that you can fish.
[00:27:24] Speaker B: Are you trying to set someone up for a recap? I feel like you might be.
[00:27:30] Speaker C: As long as it's not about eyeballs, I'll be fine.
[00:27:34] Speaker D: Rafina's really gonna need some absolution after this.
[00:27:37] Speaker A: Uh oh. Rafina.
[00:27:39] Speaker B: No, guys, I said it wasn't her fault.
Why are you trying to make her feel bad about it? And I feel like you're trying to make Abby feel bad about it.
[00:27:51] Speaker A: She me. Can you see me?
[00:27:54] Speaker B: Yeah, kt, I can she me.
[00:27:56] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
[00:27:56] Speaker B: That's weird.
[00:27:57] Speaker C: We're just all mad at Eric. Please direct.
[00:28:02] Speaker D: This is serious.
[00:28:04] Speaker B: What's wrong? Adam?
[00:28:05] Speaker D: I don't think we should be joking around. This is ontologically, metaphysically impossible. What's happening?
[00:28:12] Speaker B: Oh, I don't know about that. You must have studied something like this over in Colorado, right?
[00:28:17] Speaker A: Adam, do you know about Everwood? Sheenie?
[00:28:20] Speaker B: Oh, I love Everwood. Adam, I identify with Delia.
[00:28:26] Speaker D: I have I have goosebumps so bad right now. This is scary. I can't believe we've been recording this.
[00:28:31] Speaker B: Are there, like, degrees of goosebumps?
[00:28:34] Speaker D: We gotta send this podcast episode to science.
[00:28:37] Speaker B: Are you, like, having goosebumps in the new HBO Max series as opposed to, like, the Jack black movie?
[00:28:46] Speaker A: Movie? Yeah.
[00:28:46] Speaker B: Yeah, it's a bit different, right?
[00:28:48] Speaker D: All right, this is getting a bit too much. Yes. Shamey. Can you go back into.
[00:28:56] Speaker B: Would you like me to go back? Yes or no?
[00:29:00] Speaker A: She me.
[00:29:01] Speaker B: What?
[00:29:02] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:29:03] Speaker A: Will strangle you soon.
[00:29:04] Speaker B: No. Come on.
[00:29:06] Speaker A: She me will.
[00:29:07] Speaker B: Do you have anything you want to say to me, Katie?
[00:29:10] Speaker A: Shimi, you're like my kid. It's really weird. Like, in real life, I have a kid that's just like you. And I just explained this to Abby the other day about how he's my foil all the time. One of my children just like you. Okay, bye. Be careful. And don't die.
[00:29:24] Speaker B: Well, don't let me die. She meant Abby just let me. Got shot in the face.
[00:29:27] Speaker A: Yeah, you.
[00:29:28] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
[00:29:28] Speaker B: Oh, wait.
[00:29:29] Speaker A: No, I was supposed to.
[00:29:30] Speaker B: It wasn't your fault. It wasn't you. I promise.
[00:29:32] Speaker A: It's not Abby's fault. I feel like I agreed. Will, like, gave consent. He was like, yeah, let's. Dude, that's a great idea. She me knows how to pick.
[00:29:40] Speaker B: Yeah, maybe it's Will's fault.
[00:29:42] Speaker A: Yeah, it probably is.
[00:29:43] Speaker B: Let's go find this.
[00:29:45] Speaker C: There's no blaming right now.
[00:29:47] Speaker B: That's right. Abby, Rafina, come on. Let's go find curious.
[00:29:52] Speaker C: We're not going to judge curious.
[00:29:54] Speaker B: Yeah, but, like, if we need to, like, shift the blame under will, we can, right?
[00:30:00] Speaker A: I have enough guilt already. I poked.
[00:30:02] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm not going to.
[00:30:05] Speaker B: All right, well, we'll see what happens. All right, come on, Abby. Let's get Rafina down there with me. All right. Okay, so where is he? Down here, you say?
[00:30:14] Speaker C: All right, fishing spot. Fishing spot. You can hear the sploosh of the. Maybe if we listen carefully, we'll hear the sploosh of that magical fishing line.
[00:30:23] Speaker B: Let's listen.
Did I get a dart to the ear? I don't think so.
[00:30:28] Speaker C: No, no dart to the ear.
[00:30:30] Speaker B: Oh, I think I might hear something. Let's go down and check it out.
[00:30:34] Speaker C: Oh.
[00:30:35] Speaker A: What was that?
[00:30:35] Speaker B: It was. It was a pop compare. Also hitting a pop filter at the same time.
[00:30:40] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, that's right.
[00:30:42] Speaker B: It filtered out the whole thing.
[00:30:45] Speaker C: Dang it.
[00:30:46] Speaker B: All right, so you guys head down further below Dex.
Roscoe.
[00:30:55] Speaker A: Poor Roscoe.
[00:30:57] Speaker B: So you're in the drinking room. Let me move the icon.
[00:31:00] Speaker D: So I remember Mo, clockface and Shawn Indigo still there?
[00:31:06] Speaker B: Yeah.
Who else you gotta talk to? Clockface.
And, I mean, come on. Who wants to hear a conversation between me and Roscoe?
[00:31:16] Speaker A: Oh, Moe and Roscoe.
[00:31:19] Speaker B: Then he just give me a hard time about liking the nice gods.
[00:31:23] Speaker A: Maybe we'll find out something about why Sean Indigo was fucking spying on all of us. Sorry, I poked through the opposite direction. You're down below.
I'm hiding.
[00:31:35] Speaker D: Stop poking holes in the narrative condoms of pork fried dice.
[00:31:39] Speaker A: Narrative condoms? That's what we have.
[00:31:41] Speaker B: Who knows what will burn?
[00:31:44] Speaker D: Who knows what will happen by poking holes in the condoms?
[00:31:54] Speaker A: Yeah, what kind of stihde like.
[00:31:57] Speaker C: Oh, I'm sorry.
[00:31:58] Speaker A: It's okay. No, that's. Yeah, that's. That's been a thing.
[00:32:02] Speaker D: Yeah, it's. It's now called sexually transmitted ickiness.
[00:32:05] Speaker C: Yeah, that's so much better.
[00:32:08] Speaker B: And I'm not gonna yum your ick.
[00:32:10] Speaker D: I'm not gonna yum your ick.
[00:32:12] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
[00:32:14] Speaker D: Because I don't wanna.
[00:32:15] Speaker B: Yeah, so that's me trying to slightly differentiate.
[00:32:31] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:32:31] Speaker B: At all.
[00:32:32] Speaker A: Okay?
[00:32:33] Speaker B: I'm not doing it to irritate and offend you.
[00:32:36] Speaker A: Oh, now he's apologizing on.
[00:32:38] Speaker B: I did not apologize.
[00:32:40] Speaker A: That's what me. That's what you're doing. No, no, I was just.
[00:32:44] Speaker B: Katie was about how saying that before.
[00:32:45] Speaker A: I was saying how much I can't stand when he does the r n r and he saw me roll my eyes again. And now he's saying, I'm nothing. Doing it to upset you.
[00:32:53] Speaker B: I'm trying to use it as an in, but it's not working into the voice.
[00:32:57] Speaker A: You're gret. I love that. But I have to cringe every time I hear my husband say that same joke that he's been saying for a whole year.
[00:33:06] Speaker C: He's just practicing it so we can get it right.
[00:33:11] Speaker B: So, Roscoe, you, uh, what are you doing in here? Like, you trying to intervene for me, then want an intervention for you and then, like, everybody just left. I didn't leave. No, no mo. I know, but it seemed like we had a big party going on in here. I haven't seen anybody to bring me a drink. I think you guys might be a few sheets into the wind, as the saying goes in where I'm from, so.
[00:33:42] Speaker A: So it's safe, whatever saying you say because it's from where you're from.
[00:33:45] Speaker B: Yeah, like, don't, don't question it. If you do, you're racist.
Um, so, like, what's the deal?
[00:33:58] Speaker E: U I don't know. Sean and the go.
[00:34:04] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:34:05] Speaker E: I've been wondering myself what the deal is for a while now.
[00:34:09] Speaker B: Oh. Do you feel like you need, like, special companionship?
[00:34:19] Speaker E: I'm not even sure anymore did companionship would give me what I need.
I thought maybe these new friends of mine would help scratch the itch that I've had for so long.
[00:34:33] Speaker B: Oh, right.
Do they?
[00:34:37] Speaker E: I don't know. Coming to Trent started having all these, all these questions and confusions and concerns started bubbling to the surface.
[00:34:47] Speaker B: Oh, no. About what?
[00:34:50] Speaker E: I don't know.
My identity and my memories.
[00:34:55] Speaker B: Oh, all kinds of things.
[00:34:56] Speaker E: And the only, the only poison who's really tried, helped, tried to help me navigate all was that kid who just left.
[00:35:05] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:35:07] Speaker E: He always, he always listened. He always offered me a supportive ear.
[00:35:13] Speaker B: Well, that's good.
[00:35:14] Speaker E: He has a, he has a good eye for detail, too.
[00:35:17] Speaker B: Yeah. All right.
[00:35:19] Speaker E: I hope he never loses his eye for detail.
[00:35:26] Speaker B: It seems like a bit of a stretch there, but all right, I'm.
[00:35:29] Speaker E: No, I'd say he had good insight.
[00:35:32] Speaker B: Uh huh.
[00:35:33] Speaker E: Into stories that I would share.
[00:35:36] Speaker B: I like that little bit.
[00:35:38] Speaker E: Yeah, I bet you do. You fuck.
[00:35:41] Speaker B: Hey, like I said, what's your problem with me?
Hey, you.
[00:35:50] Speaker E: You earlier were kind. You got kind of cagey when we talked about, uh, there being a potential God on board.
[00:36:01] Speaker A: Why?
[00:36:01] Speaker E: You pony up here and tell us what you feel about, about gods. And we're all, we have differences here. I believe Yamo likes gods.
[00:36:13] Speaker B: Yeah, gods are.
[00:36:15] Speaker E: Clockface over here worships Eldaf and he shrugs.
Oh, clockface. Do you not worship Eldath anymore?
[00:36:26] Speaker B: He looks at you and cocks his head and puts his hands up in the same shrugging gesture, but just keeps him there.
[00:36:34] Speaker A: Does he say Ra?
[00:36:35] Speaker C: He doesn't say Ra.
[00:36:37] Speaker E: Oh, you believe in Ra? Okay, that's a different concept.
[00:36:40] Speaker B: I didn't say ra. To be sure, to not confuse and distract.
[00:36:45] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:36:46] Speaker E: Oh, see, that's interesting, mo. See?
[00:36:48] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:36:49] Speaker E: It is okay to approach thoughts and questions that might resemble uncertainty. That's all I'm saying.
[00:36:59] Speaker B: Okay, but is it okay to just, like, think all the gods are just, like, great?
[00:37:05] Speaker E: Uh, you know, as long as you're not hurting anybody.
[00:37:12] Speaker B: But sometimes I.
[00:37:13] Speaker D: You literally do.
[00:37:15] Speaker E: Yeah, I think we heard you murder.
[00:37:19] Speaker D: But you do, Ricardo Odysseus.
[00:37:21] Speaker B: Don't you hurt people too?
You tried to smack a God with a stick. It didn't go too well, but like, also, like, other times, like, haven't you killed people? What's your kill count in the 52 times you've been with us 53 now. 50. Yeah, sure.
[00:37:44] Speaker E: You know, that's a good question.
You know. Yeah.
I've killed people over the years.
[00:37:50] Speaker B: Yeah, me too.
[00:37:52] Speaker E: But, you know, I don't think killing is really a question of morality, usually as much as it is just a question of practicality.
[00:38:04] Speaker B: Okay, sure, I see that.
[00:38:08] Speaker E: Oh, so we agree.
[00:38:10] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:38:13] Speaker E: Sean, what do you think about gods?
[00:38:17] Speaker B: Oh, I mean, I mean, this, of course. Like. Like, if they're all right. If, like, what do you mean, what do I think about them?
[00:38:28] Speaker E: Open ended question.
[00:38:30] Speaker B: Okay, well, let's see. That's a big question. Let's. I wish I had a drink for this. Um.
[00:38:37] Speaker E: Uh, yeah, we're literally in the drinking room.
[00:38:39] Speaker B: I know, but after this. Oh, okay. So, thanks.
[00:38:44] Speaker E: Best intervention ever.
We're high on brown tree and now getting buzzed as fuck. We're getting faded. Oh, getting fucking blast over here.
[00:39:01] Speaker B: Sounds like raising the roof.
[00:39:02] Speaker A: Sounds like a song is forming.
[00:39:03] Speaker E: Oh, we're getting. Are we getting. I think. Well, how would you put it, clock face? We're getting crunk.
[00:39:10] Speaker B: He nods.
Well, let me. Let me think on this with the drink. What I think about. The gods. The gods.
Let me just think. And then we're gonna cut down to the fishing spot.
[00:39:31] Speaker D: I'm so tempted. Did he close his eyes? Yeah, while he was thinking. I'm so tempted to have Roscoe, mo and clock face sneak out of the room.
[00:39:40] Speaker A: Oh, my God, Roscoe again.
[00:39:42] Speaker D: He's taken brown treat again, which causes him to, like, scurry away giggling.
I'm not saying that's what happened.
[00:39:52] Speaker B: We'll see. We'll see how much your temptation.
[00:39:55] Speaker A: None of this is going according to any sort of non plan we had anyway, so you, when we cut back.
[00:40:01] Speaker D: You tell us what he says while his eyes are closed, and I'll tell you whether Roscoe was there.
[00:40:05] Speaker B: Cool. That sounds good.
So, at the fishing spot. So kick, you've made it there with the captain. And with Will's there, too. I forgot. Hi, Will. How are you?
[00:40:17] Speaker A: I am here. Why are you touching me?
[00:40:19] Speaker B: Oh, I'm sorry, Will. That was touching. Kt. Hi, Katie. You're here, right?
[00:40:24] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:40:24] Speaker B: Okay, so, yeah, it's this little reveal here.
[00:40:31] Speaker A: This is a way to meta episode what's going on right now.
[00:40:36] Speaker B: There you go. Okay, this little room down here, can.
[00:40:40] Speaker A: You tell me which direction to scroll?
[00:40:42] Speaker B: It's the same floor that you're on.
[00:40:45] Speaker A: Oh, are you making a circle?
[00:40:47] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:40:47] Speaker A: Okay, I see it. Wait, so it's way below deck? Yeah, like three decks down. Wait, is this on, not the top deck.
[00:40:54] Speaker B: It's the same deck as the dining room.
[00:40:56] Speaker A: Dining room. I see, I see. And then. Okay. All right, cool.
What would I call this? Like, should I call it, like, third level below, second level below, second below.
[00:41:09] Speaker B: Yeah, but that's great. We don't need to focus on ship terms anymore.
[00:41:12] Speaker A: No, it's more because I want to know how to refer to this, like, if there aren't other levels. I guess. I don't know, but I'm trying to say where I am.
[00:41:19] Speaker B: I mean, like, if it's the reverse of, like, in a building, the ground floor, the first floor and the second floor. Some people go, ground floor, second floor.
[00:41:27] Speaker A: I just didn't know if there was another level is all I'm saying.
[00:41:30] Speaker B: B one. B two. You're on b two. B if the top is the ground floor. Okay, you're in b two. Does that work?
[00:41:40] Speaker A: I don't know. Sure. I don't know that. That doesn't help.
[00:41:42] Speaker B: Yeah, like if you run an elevator.
[00:41:45] Speaker A: I knew. I knew we were going below decks anyway. I just didn't know how many more floors there were.
[00:41:50] Speaker B: There's one above you, and then there's the top deck.
[00:41:53] Speaker A: So three floors to the ship.
[00:41:55] Speaker B: Well, you don't know if there's further down. Okay, you've been down here.
[00:41:58] Speaker A: That's what I'm asking. I'm sorry that I cannot ask that question clearly enough to just get that straightforward answer. I was always trying to figure out.
[00:42:05] Speaker B: Oh, may, there might be further below you. You don't know. All right, so, yeah, the captain leads you into this room here. And. Yeah, it's open to the. To the air. There's like a safe railing. There's a few of those rod holders.
[00:42:21] Speaker A: Neat.
[00:42:22] Speaker B: It's clearly set up for fishing. There's some seats.
[00:42:25] Speaker A: And so this is right next to the dining room. Did we not see this? Is this curtained?
[00:42:30] Speaker B: You said it's a door.
[00:42:31] Speaker A: Oh, there's a door. Where's the.
[00:42:32] Speaker B: Is this on the left side?
[00:42:34] Speaker A: Oh, I see. Okay, so this is a small, narrow room right next to the dining room. Fascinating. Or is that what you would call it, the dining room?
[00:42:43] Speaker B: It's also near the kitchen.
[00:42:45] Speaker A: Near the kitchen. Do we see the kitchen? We haven't been near the kitchen.
[00:42:48] Speaker B: You've looked in, and I can reveal it. It's not anything super secret. It's just right over here.
[00:42:53] Speaker A: Is it this one?
[00:42:54] Speaker F: This is a really big porthole.
[00:42:57] Speaker B: Well, yes. Kick. I suppose you could think of it like that. Very good. Yes, it's it is an opening in the side of the ship here, and it's specifically designed for our.
[00:43:09] Speaker C: Our.
[00:43:10] Speaker B: Our staff to be able to reel in some catches so we can keep the kitchen flowing with that fish juice.
[00:43:20] Speaker A: Does he say it like that?
[00:43:22] Speaker B: I'm sorry. I don't know what I meant exactly by that. Is that what he really says? I'm sorry.
[00:43:31] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:43:32] Speaker B: Will is looking a little distracted. I thought Rufina was going to be here with us. I'm wondering why she. Do you think I said anything?
Kick Valencia to to offend.
[00:43:43] Speaker A: No, no, no. She's a free spirit. She's a free spirit. You got you. Oh, man. I could give you some advice.
[00:43:50] Speaker B: Oh, you could?
[00:43:51] Speaker A: Probably. Although, I don't know. She is a wonder and a mystery. Uh huh.
[00:43:59] Speaker B: I agree.
[00:43:59] Speaker A: Yeah, I know you agree.
[00:44:01] Speaker B: What do you mean, you know? I agree?
[00:44:04] Speaker A: I. Well, captain?
[00:44:06] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:44:06] Speaker A: Forgive me.
[00:44:08] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:44:08] Speaker A: It is incredibly clear.
Captain.
[00:44:13] Speaker B: Yes, sir.
[00:44:15] Speaker A: Is he really looking blankly like that at me, even though I'm, like, trying to appeal to, like. All right, we all know what's going on.
[00:44:21] Speaker B: What, captain? What?
[00:44:23] Speaker A: You have no idea.
[00:44:24] Speaker B: I'm not sure what your kick.
[00:44:26] Speaker A: I think even kick here has an idea. Kick. What do you think the captain thinks of Rafina?
[00:44:31] Speaker F: Kick. Kick. Drops the dragon lure on the ground. He was trying to get it out of his shirt.
[00:44:37] Speaker B: Oh, it's okay.
Careful, careful. I think that might be sharp.
[00:44:48] Speaker C: An eight year old idiot.
[00:44:49] Speaker B: What?
[00:44:50] Speaker F: Was someone talking?
[00:44:51] Speaker A: Yes. Kick. Kick. Look at me. Kick.
[00:44:55] Speaker F: Yeah.
[00:44:55] Speaker A: And I. And if I can. If I can wink at Bathwack without thinking that the captain would see will is just so excited. That bathwalk is just doing so well with this.
Kick. Look at me. Look at me.
Kick.
What do you think the captain here. And I point.
[00:45:15] Speaker B: That's me.
[00:45:16] Speaker A: Slowly, the captain thinks about Rafina, and I, like, make a sm, like, a short gesture, and I put, like, pigtails.
[00:45:25] Speaker B: Up, and he does, like, the classic, like, curve hourglass shape that you're doing in, like, in the same.
[00:45:34] Speaker A: Between those two images, you've got Rafina, right? Like, short.
[00:45:38] Speaker F: Is the captain, like, right in front of us while you're doing this?
[00:45:41] Speaker B: Yeah, he's like, right there.
[00:45:42] Speaker A: I love this.
[00:45:43] Speaker C: And he's talking, too. He's like. And the captain's me. Like, that was him. That was the captain.
[00:45:48] Speaker A: Yeah, we explained. Explained it very clearly, and then you just.
[00:45:51] Speaker F: And then you just said, what do you think the captain thinks of Rafina?
[00:45:53] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:45:55] Speaker C: So he. Third person to meow.
[00:45:57] Speaker F: Oh, does the captain have a zipper on his shirt?
[00:46:05] Speaker B: I don't think the captain has any zippers? I'm sorry?
[00:46:09] Speaker F: Does he have a button?
[00:46:10] Speaker B: Sure.
[00:46:10] Speaker F: Does he have a. Something around his neck?
[00:46:14] Speaker B: Um, yeah, he has, like, a. Like, a kerchief around his neck.
[00:46:21] Speaker F: Oh, all right, so kick is going to reach out, like, slowly, and sort of straighten the kerchief, and then look at the captain and kind of, like, regard him and say, oh, I think he looks good.
And then I'm getting back to. And then going back to fish.
[00:46:42] Speaker A: And then I glare, like, right before he turns. Right before you turn, I glare at you like, I thought it was great. And then I'm like, you fuck are too committed.
Damn it.
Listen. Listen, captain.
[00:46:57] Speaker B: What?
[00:46:58] Speaker A: Only. Listen. Only idiots cannot see the connection. People who are.
[00:47:03] Speaker B: You see it too. You feel it.
[00:47:05] Speaker A: People who are so beyond stupid that they can't even be trusted to be, like, told any kind of code words or anything like that. People who are so incompetent. That kind of person is kind of.
[00:47:18] Speaker B: Person referring to the story that just came out.
[00:47:20] Speaker A: Yes, exactly. In our episode, that's what we remember.
Only the fucking you and Adam kind of people that, like, jump. Would jump out of the top of a tower and smash on the ground, like, without thought of what is down there, whether it's a dragon or, you know, anything dangerous. The kind of person, you know, that kind of person would not be able to see the connection. But I and everyone else on this boat, probably. Captain, unfortunately.
Wait, between the connection between you and Rafina.
[00:47:47] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:47:47] Speaker A: Okay. Right.
[00:47:48] Speaker B: Okay. It's not just me. Oh, my gosh. Captain, I've worried that it's. It's been just in my mind, like.
[00:47:53] Speaker A: Captain, it's real.
[00:47:55] Speaker B: Right?
[00:47:55] Speaker A: She's. I mean, you. We said. What I'm. What I'm saying.
[00:47:59] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:47:59] Speaker A: Is that.
[00:47:59] Speaker B: That we have something, right? Like, there's an electricity.
[00:48:02] Speaker A: Captain, you have. Maybe, but you have to calm down.
[00:48:05] Speaker B: You're said everybody can feel it. Excited.
[00:48:07] Speaker A: Okay, listen. Yes, but you need to calm down a little bit. Rafina is a free spirit.
[00:48:12] Speaker B: I love that.
[00:48:13] Speaker A: Ready? Trying to. Okay, but you're already trying. You're just. It's just trying a little too hard. Like, just a slight bit too hard. Just calm down. She's on a boat with you for several days, or however.
[00:48:25] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, like, she agreed to that. Like, yes.
[00:48:28] Speaker A: So calm down. She's trapped here.
[00:48:31] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:48:32] Speaker A: I'm saying, I thought that I was.
[00:48:34] Speaker B: Trying to take that as, like, a good sign.
[00:48:36] Speaker A: Oh, that she agreed. Yes. Yeah.
Will feels a little guilty because he knows it's not actually. Yes. She. I mean, honestly, there's a lot.
[00:48:45] Speaker C: I don't know.
[00:48:46] Speaker A: I don't know. She's.
[00:48:47] Speaker B: Has she said anything about me?
[00:48:48] Speaker A: No. No, captain, she hasn't.
[00:48:52] Speaker F: She says something about old.
[00:48:55] Speaker B: What am I too old for?
[00:48:59] Speaker F: I don't know. She said that word sometimes.
[00:49:01] Speaker A: No, she said. Well, she said. She said old before because she's on the older side, but also because I think she was talking about some kind of, like, old spice smell coming from this ship in general. Like she likes the smell of the ship. It feels old spice.
[00:49:17] Speaker F: Was there really an adjective in there? Was it just old smell?
[00:49:20] Speaker A: No, it was not old smell. Kick.
I just staring at him way too long, captain.
[00:49:33] Speaker B: No kick. I think you might have misheard old smell.
[00:49:39] Speaker F: I don't know. I. I don't know.
[00:49:41] Speaker B: It's okay, kick. It's okay. You catch it. Did you catch your fish yet?
[00:49:45] Speaker F: Thanks for the pin, captain. Oh, that's not old, right?
[00:49:49] Speaker B: That's a nice no good kick. That's new.
[00:49:52] Speaker F: All right, what are we. Why keep. I feel like.
Never mind.
[00:49:58] Speaker A: What fish? What pin? I say, what pin?
[00:50:01] Speaker B: Oh, I gave him one of my special pins I gave to some of my special guests on the boat. Would you like a pin?
[00:50:10] Speaker A: Is he is like. Is there any indication that I know what kind of pin is talking about?
[00:50:15] Speaker B: I don't know.
[00:50:17] Speaker F: What's your name again?
They help you fish, I think. I mean, that's.
[00:50:23] Speaker B: He get.
[00:50:23] Speaker F: I was telling him about fishing, and he gave me a pin.
[00:50:27] Speaker B: I mean, sure, yes, kick. It can really help out.
[00:50:30] Speaker A: I like it. So to me, it seems very obvious that he thinks this. The kick is stupid. So, like, this must be. Will can't tell what the game is, though. He's like, what is this pin? Yeah, he's not sure what's happening. He doesn't know what airline wings are.
[00:50:44] Speaker F: You know, I would give you mine, but I need it right now because I'm.
[00:50:48] Speaker B: Catch that. If you would like one, Valencia, I'll give you a pin. Sure.
[00:50:51] Speaker A: No, I don't want a fishing pin. No, thank you. I don't fish.
[00:50:55] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, it's not. It's not really a fishing pin. It's just something we. Shh.
[00:50:59] Speaker A: Don't tell him that. It's a great fishing pin, you said.
[00:51:02] Speaker B: It's just. It's like something we usually give to, like, our younger passengers when they come and, like, wanna see, like, what the captain does.
[00:51:13] Speaker F: Isn't that what Rufina said? Something about being too young?
[00:51:18] Speaker B: No, kick. You said old. Those are. Those are opposites. Kik, old and young are opposites.
[00:51:26] Speaker F: Did you say she was too young for the captain?
[00:51:29] Speaker A: No.
[00:51:30] Speaker F: I don't know. I probably misheard.
[00:51:33] Speaker B: Does she think. I don't? How old is she? No, I should never ask that. I don't care.
[00:51:38] Speaker A: I have no idea. How old are you? You have dark hair. You don't look. How old does he look to me? If I role roll perception, what do I think he looks like? Is. It would be a perception sleight of hand. Survival, archon perception.
[00:51:52] Speaker B: Insight or nature.
[00:51:54] Speaker A: Insight maybe would have been better, but 20 total. Finally a decent role.
[00:51:59] Speaker B: You think he's like. If you had to guess.
45.
[00:52:05] Speaker C: Whoa.
[00:52:07] Speaker A: Okay. How old do I think Rafine is? I know she's like this miraculous, ageless person, but she's an older lady. That was the very first description we ever got.
[00:52:16] Speaker B: Give me.
[00:52:17] Speaker A: Oh, geez. I. You.
[00:52:20] Speaker B: Disadvantage.
[00:52:20] Speaker A: Oh, geez. Insight with disadvantage. Okay, click, where's the disadvantage now? Disadvantage still there. Insight. Boop.
Uh oh.
A ten and a seven.
[00:52:33] Speaker B: I mean, like, what's your guess?
[00:52:40] Speaker A: What's my guess? Yeah, maybe in her sixties. Like, I always thought she definitely was.
[00:52:46] Speaker B: Like, 60% sure about your guess.
[00:52:51] Speaker A: 60% sure that she's in her.
[00:52:56] Speaker B: She's in her halfling equivalent of human sixties. I have to clarify that.
[00:53:00] Speaker A: Halfling equivalent.
That whole thing, it's impossible to know. Just say around what human age.
[00:53:09] Speaker B: That's why I just was wanting to make that clear for everybody.
[00:53:12] Speaker A: Yeah, we agree on that. Me and you, for sure. Okay, so 60% sure that she's in her sixties for a. For a halfling.
Well, I mean. Okay, wait. What was the question? He said. I know. He said she's too young for the captain.
[00:53:29] Speaker B: So you asked him how old he.
[00:53:31] Speaker A: Was, but captain said, do you think that she's too young for you?
[00:53:36] Speaker B: Um. Did she say that? Uh, I mean, I'm.
I'm. I mean, I'm. No, I'm only 50. I mean, I'm 55, like.
[00:53:45] Speaker A: No, uh, sorry, I'm writing that down. Um.
[00:53:52] Speaker B: Yes. Kick. Yes, it's okay. Go ahead.
[00:53:54] Speaker F: No, nothing. Just clear my throat.
[00:53:56] Speaker A: Swallowed a fish over there or some shit.
I'm sorry. He's driving me crazy.
[00:54:03] Speaker B: Give him a little. Okay, cut him a little slack.
[00:54:06] Speaker A: He's like swallowing fish and choking on him.
[00:54:08] Speaker B: Listen, if he's having. Is he hurting anybody?
[00:54:11] Speaker A: Um, I'm sorry. Is he telling you that she's calling you old and she doesn't want to date you because she's too young for you?
Yes. Oh, well, maybe. I don't know. He seems to be a fishing phenom, though. He caught a lot of fish.
[00:54:23] Speaker B: Well, I mean, he was up on the top deck. He didn't really catch anything. He. I saw Marilla in a boot.
[00:54:28] Speaker A: What?
[00:54:29] Speaker B: Now he's trying to fish for a. He's, like, made up a fish that's, like, spiky and rainbowed, and he's, like, trying to catch this imaginary fish.
[00:54:40] Speaker A: And in his head, will is like, great. So he's been trying to catch an imaginary fish for this thing that we've been waiting for him for, this distraction. He's like. He's getting too into character, this guy. He's turning into a real idiot.
Hmm. He stares at the back of Bathwaite's head.
Wow, that's very interesting.
[00:54:59] Speaker B: Okay, but anyway, let's back. Back to what we were talking about, like.
[00:55:03] Speaker A: Yeah, Rafina.
[00:55:04] Speaker B: Yes, you do you have, like, any tips for me or.
[00:55:08] Speaker A: Tips? She.
[00:55:10] Speaker B: Insight.
[00:55:11] Speaker A: What do you see in her?
[00:55:13] Speaker B: What are you talking about?
[00:55:14] Speaker A: Okay, listen, I. No, no, thanks. Let's tell me, what do you think? What is it about?
[00:55:20] Speaker B: You've already said, like, so much of it. She's a free son spirit. You could just feel it, like, exuding off of her. She. She just.
[00:55:27] Speaker F: Yeah, she's so free. She would love to be on a boat forever.
[00:55:34] Speaker B: Kick. No, this. This cruise is not forever. We're going to Gully's end. You know that, right? You said that's where you wanted to go when you kick. Do you. Do you know where we're going right now?
[00:55:49] Speaker A: Jumps off the boat.
[00:55:50] Speaker F: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:55:51] Speaker A: I wanted to go to go swim back to land. Whoops. Took the wrong boat.
[00:55:57] Speaker B: I thought this was the forever boat.
[00:55:59] Speaker F: Shortcut to Gully's.
I got on going to Gully's end, but.
[00:56:11] Speaker A: Oh, my God. You do know we're going to Gully.
[00:56:19] Speaker B: Totally happy.
[00:56:24] Speaker A: Amazing.
He knows. He knows.
[00:56:27] Speaker B: Okay, so anyway, back to Rafina.
She just, like. She has this joy just welling up within her. Like, you can feel it baking off her skin, and you just want to, like, warm yourself on that.
[00:56:43] Speaker C: Is this the right time for Rafina to show up? Screaming hysterically?
[00:56:48] Speaker B: Yes, actually.
[00:56:50] Speaker D: That's great.
[00:56:50] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
[00:56:51] Speaker C: There was a dart in his eyes.
[00:56:54] Speaker D: Well, there's that warmth now.
[00:56:57] Speaker B: Rafina. What?
[00:56:58] Speaker A: Who?
[00:57:00] Speaker C: There was a dart in his eye.
[00:57:02] Speaker B: And she comes in after, and he's got a blank white eye.
[00:57:08] Speaker C: As much as I could for now.
[00:57:10] Speaker B: But, yeah, off you. Fine.
[00:57:11] Speaker A: What the fuck happened? What?
[00:57:14] Speaker C: Oh, he was.
[00:57:15] Speaker B: I mean, I just fell. Yeah, and there was a dot. A dart, like, where did. Where did you fall?
[00:57:25] Speaker C: In the dart room.
[00:57:27] Speaker B: No, Rafi, we. We don't have a dart room.
Oh, it's. It's okay. It's okay. Come. Come here. I mean, if we were in the.
[00:57:38] Speaker C: Hallway with the room with the room with the animals and you know how he is. He's 14. He's, like, touching things. And he touched the doorknob to the exotic room guy. Exotic and not room. Exotic. Animal guys rose and goes.
[00:57:57] Speaker B: Mister Indigo's room.
[00:57:58] Speaker A: Goddess. This place shoots darts out of doors.
[00:58:02] Speaker B: No. No, it certainly does not. Um.
Oh, my goodness.
[00:58:07] Speaker A: That's terrible. Rufina, do you have any evidence? I hope you're holding a dart still.
If you don't, I'm cast a spell.
[00:58:14] Speaker B: They're already steeping. Too late.
[00:58:18] Speaker A: They're steeping in the tea.
[00:58:21] Speaker C: They're darts sticking out of my arm.
[00:58:23] Speaker A: Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
[00:58:25] Speaker B: Now your eyes. Your arm is blind.
[00:58:28] Speaker C: I would hold on to the darts. I would hold on to them.
[00:58:30] Speaker B: You would have them?
[00:58:31] Speaker C: They're in my pocket.
[00:58:32] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:58:33] Speaker C: All right. Yeah.
[00:58:34] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness. This is so you're talking about.
[00:58:38] Speaker C: I'm nervous that they're poison. Are they poison? Can we find out if they're poison? But he says he's fine.
[00:58:43] Speaker B: Well, I mean, he says he's fine, but also, have you seen his eye? I mean, not to.
[00:58:49] Speaker A: Child has been maimed on your boat.
[00:58:51] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness.
And you said it was from Mister Indigo's room? Something to do with the door?
[00:58:58] Speaker C: Yes, he was just touching the knob.
[00:59:00] Speaker B: Oh, no, this will not stand.
Have any of you seen him drinking room? Oh, the lounge. Okay, he immediately knows which room you're talking about. He doesn't refer to it that way, but he gets it.
[00:59:18] Speaker A: That's amazing.
[00:59:20] Speaker D: The lounge.
[00:59:21] Speaker A: Oh, the lounge. Okay.
[00:59:23] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[00:59:25] Speaker B: This needs to be addressed immediately.
Kick. Are you okay fishing here?
[00:59:35] Speaker C: I'll stay with Kik, and so will Fulencio.
[00:59:37] Speaker A: I think I would like to go see whether the door is going to shoot darts at anybody else. I mean, I would like to see your eyeball.
[00:59:45] Speaker B: Oh, yes. We couldn't have that. I think maybe we should steer clear. We should set up a cordon around this. Really keep it under wrap. Under wraps? Not under wraps. No, this is not going to be kept hidden. I've heard that he keep it.
[00:59:58] Speaker A: I've heard that he keeps insanely dangerous creatures in that room, captain. Did you know that?
[01:00:02] Speaker B: Well, he has some exotic pets.
[01:00:06] Speaker A: I actually tried to go in there because I needed a little comfort. I was thinking maybe I could get a pet or something. He keeps talking about his pets. And I went in there, and the crazy creatures are ferocious, and now there's darts flying out of the door. I think this place needs to be investigated thoroughly.
[01:00:20] Speaker B: I agree. We will. We will crack down on this immediately. We need to confront this man.
Son, I'm. He goes up to shimi. I'm very. Oh, it's all right. I feel fine. I just can't see out of this eye. And Rufina says it's blank. Oh, God.
I suppose that's a way to refer to it. But, I mean, rest assured, I will get to the bottom of this. And nothing like this has ever happened on any of my voyages before, so this will be.
This will be handled.
[01:00:54] Speaker D: The most boring captain ever.
[01:00:59] Speaker B: We're going to lynch Sean. Indigo. I'll be right back.
Is that better, Adam?
[01:01:06] Speaker D: Yeah, that's okay. Jesus Christ.
[01:01:10] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
[01:01:12] Speaker D: Get your nautical pitchforks.
[01:01:17] Speaker A: Oh, they're tridents. They're called tridents.
Oh, my God, that's perfect.
[01:01:26] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[01:01:27] Speaker B: They're called trident.
[01:01:30] Speaker D: Oh, that's so good.
[01:01:32] Speaker B: All right, so captain goes off to get his nautical pitchfork.
The rest of you can follow. Or not.
Is that. Where's Roscoe? Oh, he's up there with Sean. So he's in the lounge.
[01:01:46] Speaker C: The drinking lounge.
[01:01:47] Speaker B: We're about to find out. What did we say?
[01:01:50] Speaker A: We're going to find out whether Roscoe likes sea cops or not because he doesn't like regular cops. But maybe he'll like the captain being a C cop and arresting Sean Ingo for flagrant boat abuse.
Next time on pork fried dice. Was that a good one?
[01:02:07] Speaker B: Keep it.
[01:02:08] Speaker A: No, please, please.
[01:02:12] Speaker D: Cops. He doesn't like copses.
Of copses are kelpses.
[01:02:20] Speaker A: All copses are kelpses.
I need to make a t shirt that says all copses are kelpses.
Nobody would know what the fuck that meant. And it would be the greatest shirt. I love that one.
[01:02:32] Speaker B: Do you think that in. In the sea or in the bay, as you were, like, the fuzz are referred to as the foam?
[01:02:41] Speaker C: Ooh, the foam, maybe. Yeah, that's great. I like that.
[01:02:47] Speaker B: Well, we'll find out if that's the case as well. As will we. All those other things.
[01:02:51] Speaker A: I hope you decide that.
[01:02:53] Speaker B: And whatever I said, roscoe and Sean had to figure out when we cut back there.
No, that was before we skipped that completely.
[01:03:02] Speaker A: Don't be funny. Be really sad next time.
[01:03:05] Speaker B: Something else. It's probably in your massive shared notes file, right?
[01:03:09] Speaker D: So to be clear, you have to decide what Sean was gonna say about gods.
[01:03:14] Speaker B: Right?
[01:03:15] Speaker D: And then I will reveal whether Roscoe stayed or.
[01:03:21] Speaker B: Oh. Giggled and ran away.
Yeah. He closed his eyes. I remember now.
[01:03:27] Speaker A: Amazing.
[01:03:29] Speaker B: And we'll find out, right?
[01:03:30] Speaker C: He closed his eyes.
[01:03:31] Speaker B: What he opens his eyes to next time. Nice on pork fried dice.
[01:03:35] Speaker A: Yay.
[01:03:39] Speaker D: Ridiculous.
[01:03:40] Speaker A: This was a series of ridiculous.
[01:03:42] Speaker C: Pretty insane.
[01:03:46] Speaker B: Hey, everyone, if you like what you hear, please leave us a kind review wherever you listen to us. Also consider supporting us by subscribing to us on ko
[email protected] support PFD, where you can gain access to lots of exclusive treats and behind the scenes goodies. Thanks for listening, and we'll see you next time.
