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Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hey, did you hear I'm a slug lord now?
[00:00:02] Speaker B: No, I didn't. I'm so jealous. I'm not a slug anything.
[00:00:07] Speaker A: Well, you too can become a slug something. Just head to tinyurl.com supportpfd and subscribe to Pork Fried Dice on Ko Fi.
[00:00:18] Speaker C: Awesome.
[00:00:20] Speaker A: You're listening to the show about notches and ex boyfriends. It's Pork Fried Dice.
I'm Eric and I'm the dungeon master.
[00:00:32] Speaker D: I'm Abby and I play Rafina.
[00:00:35] Speaker E: I'm Alex and I play Batwack.
[00:00:39] Speaker B: I'm KT and I play Will.
[00:00:42] Speaker C: I'm Adam and I play Roscoe.
[00:00:47] Speaker A: Hold on to your haversacks. Let's roll.
[00:00:54] Speaker D: I was just gonna tell you, though, that I heard this exchange where Alex is, you know, as Bathwack is casting the spell on the stone guy.
[00:01:03] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:01:03] Speaker D: And he makes it flee, and he says to everyone, let him run.
[00:01:08] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:01:09] Speaker D: You remember this?
[00:01:10] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:01:11] Speaker D: I'm like, I could not me. Abby could not hear him explain when he cast it that it would cancel. And then we had this whole thing afterwards where Alex is like, you heard me say, let it run.
[00:01:24] Speaker B: Yeah. And I'm like.
[00:01:24] Speaker D: But I didn't know, like, I thought until I heard the replay that it was something I was supposed to just sort of know that that was like. It was just so dumb. Which reminds me, I need to.
[00:01:36] Speaker C: I'm sorry.
[00:01:37] Speaker D: But it was so. I mean, I'm glad that, like, it finally came to the part where I.
[00:01:43] Speaker B: Heard the whole thing happening.
[00:01:45] Speaker D: The part I didn't hear. So now.
[00:01:47] Speaker B: And I think also we justified in it, too. Too. That it's like a battle, and maybe you just didn't know what was happening or, like, couldn't hear it or something.
[00:01:55] Speaker D: We totally justified it. Yeah.
[00:01:57] Speaker B: We've had moments like that before where Bathwack's done something and tried to command us to do something, and then somebody else is. Or maybe it was you. Or maybe it was me. I don't know.
What did somebody say?
[00:02:08] Speaker A: No, just Alex. Nope, just you.
[00:02:11] Speaker B: No, like, so. And. And I've always. Eldritch Bass. I think when I was editing that, I had the thought of. This is so characteristic of who Alex is. Because he does.
[00:02:26] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:02:26] Speaker B: He will never. If it were me, you would have never stopped hearing about it. As Will. He would have been like, oh, remember that time that I guess you all it up? Do you remember that? Like, that's what he would have been like. But Bethlehem's always just like, hey, that's okay, man. You guys just messed the whole Thing up and I killed the guy anyway. So like guys just like whatever. Guys don't even worry about it. Like never even says a single thing.
[00:02:48] Speaker D: No, it's true though. As Alex, he was annoyed at Abby.
[00:02:52] Speaker B: Oh, I understand.
[00:02:54] Speaker D: Yeah. But even that was short lived. Even that was short lived because like it didn't come up until I heard it again.
[00:03:00] Speaker B: Right. He's so chill about it. But also, Abby, like, it certainly didn't come from any point of like you trying to with him or anything. And that kind of stuff happened.
And depending on the DM you have, I mean in that situation, a DM could have said like you couldn't hear that. You couldn't hear that, like roll for hearing it.
[00:03:19] Speaker A: Nope.
[00:03:19] Speaker B: You didn't hear.
[00:03:20] Speaker D: Oh, interesting.
[00:03:21] Speaker B: Or he could have. Or he might have not said anything. And you cast your spell and it's not allowed cross table talk. Like Alex wouldn't have been able to tell you it's a spell. It'll be broken if you. So there's all kinds of situations like that where things happen like that. Like you're not. You're not the villain. It's okay. I'm sorry if it came across that way. I thought it was interesting. It was just because.
[00:03:43] Speaker D: Fascinating. Yeah.
[00:03:43] Speaker B: I mean, like, I also didn't. I don't think there was a read to really edit it out. I mean, I guess I could have edited out.
[00:03:50] Speaker A: But you did wonder about it at the time. I know.
[00:03:52] Speaker D: I'm glad you did. I'm glad you did.
[00:03:54] Speaker C: I think it's good to leave in. I think it's very natural. Like it's a normal thing. I think people listen to port credit dice for like it just being like a realistic, polished gameplay.
[00:04:04] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:04:04] Speaker C: Yeah, really polished.
[00:04:09] Speaker B: Roscoe rolled two natural ones and is still alive on his death. You know, I think that's the. The rules are that you die, but you didn't die. So I don't know.
[00:04:19] Speaker C: Roscoe's invincible, you know, probably like he's. He would probably survive anything. He probably even survived.
[00:04:29] Speaker B: Wait a second.
[00:04:30] Speaker C: He probably even survived being attacked by like a group of like murderers or something.
[00:04:38] Speaker A: What.
[00:04:39] Speaker C: What would you call them?
Maybe. Eric kick it.
[00:04:46] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:04:47] Speaker C: We didn't set this up, but Eric kick it.
[00:04:49] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:04:51] Speaker B: He wasn't moving at all.
[00:04:52] Speaker A: He was just like, yes, I did. You. You. It's wrong. I hear it's quite off putting when you first arrive, but. Oh, that was not it, is it? This.
That key doesn't work on mine.
[00:05:12] Speaker B: He's pressing keys and it's not going no. No. Oh.
[00:05:20] Speaker C: Previously on Pork Fried.
[00:05:25] Speaker A: Oh, I'm supposed to say that I wonder if Rod.
[00:05:28] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:05:29] Speaker E: Putting a bright blinking light on his head and then telling the dusk queen to hit the blinking lights.
[00:05:34] Speaker A: Whoa.
[00:05:35] Speaker C: I bet Roscoe would survive that. I bet Roscoe would survive anything. I bet Roscoe would even survive being attacked by, like, a group of, like, I don't know what you call them, like, the, like, murderers or, I don't know, maybe, like, what would you call them?
[00:05:51] Speaker E: Boomberry. Boomberry Boom.
[00:05:56] Speaker A: I got the timing line.
[00:05:58] Speaker B: At least.
[00:06:00] Speaker E: I was on the edge of my inflatable ball.
[00:06:03] Speaker D: On the edge of your boomberry.
[00:06:05] Speaker A: That's not possible. It doesn't have one.
[00:06:11] Speaker B: Poor Adam.
[00:06:14] Speaker A: Previously on Pork Fried Dice.
[00:06:37] Speaker F: We're riding Das Queen, who's a helpful dame. Oscar and Roscoe are playing a fetch game.
Will's in his tent? Cause this cruise is lame? But privacy ain't close in a place like this? Even if he wants to remember that kiss?
Cause Eldon ain't close in a place like this? I said Eldon ain't close in a place like this?
This treat ain't brown? This treat ain't brown. Goodbye.
Will hears a knock that's about to ruin his campsite.
Well, somebody told Will that his ex boyfriend was also Gnar's boyfriend that he had at some point in the past. It's not confidential or influential.
Will wants to talk about something new. Nor insists on telling him he still thinks about you.
But Eldon ain't close in a place like this. Cause Carnivore is the place where he lives.
Now Roscoe's here and grafina and chimi and Mo Bathwack sees a boat and prepares a signal of bright light.
Well, somebody told Will that. That his ex boyfriend was also Gnar's boyfriend. But he had at some point in the past. It's not confidential cause everyone's here. Why oh why is everyone around?
Walk away from me, from me.
How they'll then go to you from me.
[00:08:34] Speaker C: But.
[00:08:35] Speaker F: But Will just doesn't know now.
Sorry. So now all there is to do is try these samples of mustard that Roscoe is offering through the window of his rutabago that is parked here. It's not pestilential, it's quintessential. This mustard. This mustard is Will find Stasqueen's mouth. It's a human mouth. She gives us homework so we draw pictures of the bottom of her. It's not confidential. Roscoe's is preferential. He wins. He wins this drawing round. Now there's the shopkeep who's trying to sell us some magical items that he got from his source in gullies. And what's their credential? This sword is vengeful. It's cursing. We're cruising. Rat owned.
[00:09:34] Speaker C: Killer.
Get it?
[00:09:38] Speaker F: Do you just get it?
[00:09:41] Speaker C: Do you get it?
[00:09:43] Speaker B: Say something stupid, stupid, stupid. I say the same thing. That's so funny. I said, how many times do I say stupid at the end of something? I'm laughing at Adam. That was amazing. Holy.
So good. Oh, my God.
[00:10:02] Speaker E: Can you. Can you send the. The raw audio?
[00:10:05] Speaker B: It was.
[00:10:06] Speaker D: Yeah, it was a little garb for us.
[00:10:07] Speaker E: A little tough to hear through the.
[00:10:08] Speaker B: Oh, I'm sorry.
[00:10:10] Speaker D: Hard to hear through the solar flares.
[00:10:13] Speaker C: It was like that for you guys too.
[00:10:15] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:10:15] Speaker C: Okay, so I'm happy because I thought it was a me thing. I think my favorite part is now there. Now all there is to do is try these samples of mustard.
[00:10:26] Speaker F: Yes.
[00:10:27] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:10:28] Speaker C: That Rosco is offering.
[00:10:29] Speaker B: So silly. So funny.
Oh, my God.
[00:10:34] Speaker D: It was a great moment, too, when that happened.
[00:10:36] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:10:37] Speaker D: Examples of mustard.
I think we should have a new rule that whoever gives the recap should not be expected to take notes that session.
[00:10:51] Speaker C: Is that because you're next, Abby?
[00:10:54] Speaker D: No, I really. I feel like. I mean, yes, but also, I just. I think it would be a nice incentive. You don't have to not take notes, but we've got a good system now with the. The shared notes, and it would. I don't know.
[00:11:11] Speaker C: I'm definitely taking notes the time that I have to recap because I don't trust any of you fools.
[00:11:15] Speaker D: No, I meant the time after.
[00:11:17] Speaker A: Oh, the time after reward.
[00:11:19] Speaker D: Like now. Like today. You wouldn't have to.
[00:11:21] Speaker C: Oh, my God. I'm all about this then. This is great.
[00:11:24] Speaker D: Yeah, it's like. It's like a respite from.
Not, like.
[00:11:29] Speaker C: Yeah, but.
[00:11:30] Speaker D: But if you want to feel free. I'm just saying I'm usually like, after I give the recap, I'm all, like, wound up, and then I'm like. And I can't. Like, my notes would be useless. I wouldn't be able to play and take. Take good notes at the same time.
[00:11:45] Speaker C: I'm dropping the lyrics and.
[00:11:48] Speaker D: Oh, please. Yeah, please do that.
[00:11:49] Speaker C: The discord that we use.
[00:11:52] Speaker B: Oh, I liked it when.
When everyone kept popping up and you're like, why is everybody here? That was very.
[00:11:58] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:11:59] Speaker C: Why? Why? Why is everyone around? Yeah, this mustard. This mustard is brown.
[00:12:07] Speaker A: Are you familiar with that song, Abby or Alex?
Yeah.
[00:12:13] Speaker E: I got the joke. But I didn't say anything.
[00:12:16] Speaker C: I got the joke, but I didn't say anything.
That's so Alex.
[00:12:22] Speaker D: This person is so like my husband.
[00:12:25] Speaker A: So like it.
[00:12:28] Speaker B: It's not.
[00:12:28] Speaker E: That's an awesome recap.
[00:12:29] Speaker B: It's quintessential. This mustard. This mustard is brown. Will finds dust queen's mouth. It's a human mouth. The way you sang it's a human mouth made me laugh. That was so, so great.
[00:12:40] Speaker C: It's a human mouth.
[00:12:41] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
She gives us homework. Oh, that's so great. I love it. Awesome. Thank you, Adam. Yay.
[00:12:50] Speaker C: You're welcome. Thank you for listening.
[00:12:53] Speaker D: Good one.
[00:12:53] Speaker A: You're welcome.
[00:12:54] Speaker B: You are welcome.
[00:12:55] Speaker A: So.
[00:12:56] Speaker C: And thanks for taking the setup. It spiked it. I said you're welcome for you, Eric. And you really killed it.
[00:13:06] Speaker B: He killed comedy.
I mean, that's the story of my life. No respect. I don't get no respect at all.
[00:13:16] Speaker E: I really loved the. The somebody told Will that his ex boyfriend was also boyfriend that he had.
[00:13:23] Speaker C: At some point in the past.
[00:13:29] Speaker B: So amazing.
[00:13:32] Speaker C: All right, Eric, what you got for us tonight?
[00:13:34] Speaker A: Yeah. So.
[00:13:35] Speaker C: Son of a.
[00:13:39] Speaker A: Yeah. You had been having some nice commercial interactions with Aces.
[00:13:47] Speaker B: Oh, that's right. Yeah.
[00:13:48] Speaker D: Aces.
[00:13:49] Speaker A: Aces.
Which turned.
[00:13:54] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:13:55] Speaker A: For the worse.
That's the right word, right?
[00:13:58] Speaker B: Yeah, I guess it didn't. Well, I mean, we saved him, I think, from a vengeful sword and a future lawsuit. I think is what I said last time.
[00:14:06] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:14:07] Speaker B: Get a loss. He could get a lawsuit going.
[00:14:09] Speaker A: Right.
[00:14:10] Speaker B: Because somebody would have been promised a good sword. But it's a cursed sword, so.
[00:14:14] Speaker A: And I. I think when last we spoke, I think he was. Had his hands raised.
[00:14:20] Speaker B: Yes. And he wanted us to let go of the rope. And he had given us the ruby and bathwack had put 30 gold on the counter. But I picked up the 30 gold.
[00:14:29] Speaker A: Uhhuh.
[00:14:30] Speaker E: And I also gave him the youth vial.
[00:14:32] Speaker B: And the youth vial. Yes.
And the. The ring had flown off the table. Cuz I had Eldrich blasted near it flew off the table and. And Rosco had a cool snake staff.
And have I come out of the rutabago, I think.
[00:14:53] Speaker A: Well, as the episode starts, you step out of the rutabago.
[00:14:57] Speaker C: Oh, great.
[00:14:58] Speaker A: What are you doing with.
[00:15:01] Speaker C: Roscoe's showing off his cool snake staff.
And he's also showing off his new weapon.
[00:15:11] Speaker A: What's his new weapon? His penis.
[00:15:14] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:15:18] Speaker D: What a duo these guys are.
[00:15:20] Speaker B: What the heck did he say? Say at the end.
[00:15:22] Speaker A: It takes two.
Who?
[00:15:25] Speaker B: The guy. I'm just trying to think of the last thing that was said he thinks we're trying to rob him.
[00:15:34] Speaker A: So if you just want to just let me go there. Look, your friends seems very happy with his snake staff and his new weapon.
[00:15:45] Speaker B: What the.
[00:15:48] Speaker A: Well, he walked out of his thing holding his new staff and masturbating, so.
[00:15:54] Speaker B: Jesus.
[00:15:54] Speaker C: Jesus.
This is not canon. Roscoe's not exposing himself to the group. Roscoe's not bcking pork fried dice.
[00:16:05] Speaker A: That's good.
[00:16:08] Speaker C: But Roscoe is coming out. He's got a boa constrictor. Kind of like he's gonna come over acting like he's being strangled to death by this boa.
[00:16:18] Speaker B: Like tremors. Is he tremorsing this situation?
[00:16:21] Speaker C: Yeah, he's tremorsing. Yeah, like.
[00:16:23] Speaker B: Oh, God. Acting like.
[00:16:24] Speaker A: Oh, you guys remember when we played that tremors DND session?
[00:16:29] Speaker B: Oh, shut up.
[00:16:30] Speaker D: When is that gonna happen?
[00:16:32] Speaker B: One day?
[00:16:33] Speaker C: I would love that.
[00:16:35] Speaker A: I. No, you know what's funny? I was like. I was like, wait, did we do it?
[00:16:40] Speaker C: Yeah, for a moment I was like, wait, we did do that, didn't we? Because it's confusing because we have done the burbs, but we did not do tremors yet, so.
[00:16:51] Speaker B: You really are acting like you're getting choked. I think I might. Eldrich, blast your snake. Watch out. Is it.
[00:16:56] Speaker C: Well, no, but he's. But he's. He's. He's.
Well, I don't know. I might have to do a performance check.
[00:17:04] Speaker B: Yeah, cuz that kid, every time I watch that movie, I'm like, that dumbass teenager would get shot in the face in one second. He's so true. You remember the character that pretends to get. Oh, man, I haven't played.
He's a dumb teenage like jerk face in the whole movie and you kind of want him to die anyway.
[00:17:21] Speaker C: And we say that Roscoe came out with the constrictor. Came close enough to kind of hear what was going on. Like, he knows that. Like you guys are trying to convince this guy to.
Are we trying to get refunds? Is everything okay now? Are we. Is there still a fight happening?
[00:17:40] Speaker B: Not. I mean, the guy thinks that we're going to rob him, but I know what happened. Is that Bathwack got this. Well, no, actually, I am holding the sword. Will is holding the sword. Bathwack got a ruby, like some kind of spell. Focus. And there was a key, but I don't think anyone did anything with that. That's just still on the table. And so right now the guy wants to go away. And I don't think. I think that Will's just like, you know, Right. I don't think I had any more requirements. I was just saying, like, what are we supposed to do with this sword?
[00:18:14] Speaker C: Rosco comes over holding the snake like a gun and is like, hey, put him up. I'm kidding, kid.
What's going on over here?
No, I will just say, that rascal approaches.
[00:18:30] Speaker B: Damn. There were so many cool options, and now you just approach.
[00:18:36] Speaker D: The enactor erased that you were pretending to be choked.
[00:18:41] Speaker C: Let's say he goes through all of these.
[00:18:44] Speaker B: Yes. It's like the improv game where you just sell, yell, change, and you have to get.
[00:18:48] Speaker C: Yeah, he's showing. He's like, showing everything he can do with the spelling constrictors versus, like, hey, guys, look at me. I'm a pretty lady with a nice scarf.
[00:18:56] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:18:56] Speaker C: Oh. Oh, no, the scoff is joking me because it's a snake, actually.
Oh. Oh. Hey. Oh. Now what is it? Oh, it's a gun. Hey, mister, give me all your money.
[00:19:10] Speaker D: We don't know guns.
[00:19:12] Speaker C: Oh, back in the circus, we had something called guns.
[00:19:20] Speaker A: Sounds great.
[00:19:22] Speaker C: Yeah.
Check out these guns, listeners.
[00:19:29] Speaker A: Adam is pointing to the gun rack he has in his.
[00:19:31] Speaker B: In his apartment.
[00:19:35] Speaker A: Yes. Somehow, seven AK47s all hung up there. I don't even know how that's possible.
[00:19:41] Speaker C: This is America.
[00:19:44] Speaker E: Where'd you get the hello Kitty one?
[00:19:47] Speaker C: I special ordered from China.
No, Vietnam.
[00:19:59] Speaker D: Try again.
[00:20:01] Speaker C: I'm reasonably sure that's Japan.
[00:20:04] Speaker A: Hello Kitty.
[00:20:05] Speaker C: Am I right?
[00:20:06] Speaker A: Hello Kitty san was Japanese.
[00:20:09] Speaker B: I didn't. I missed it. Sorry. Conan was in here. Sorry, I missed what was being discussed.
[00:20:14] Speaker A: Adam's AK47 collection.
[00:20:17] Speaker B: Oh, he has a hello Kitty one. That's cute. I love it.
[00:20:20] Speaker C: So Rosco fake holds up the shopkeep with the snake, but then Roscoe makes it very clear that he's just joking around.
We are no threat to you, sire.
[00:20:33] Speaker A: Well, I don't know about that. This one here almost blasts my fingers off.
[00:20:38] Speaker B: Stop being dramatic. I purposefully did not hit you. Are you scathed at all?
[00:20:44] Speaker A: Well, I am. Well, you know what? Now that you mention it, I am not only subscathed, but unscathed.
[00:20:54] Speaker B: What?
All right, give me the key. Because of that terrible whatever the you just said. Just kidding. It's probably cursed, too. You better make sure all your stuff isn't cursed in the future.
[00:21:05] Speaker A: Oh, I. I will do my best, I suppose, but I'll only have a chance to.
[00:21:11] Speaker C: Wait. What was Christ was.
[00:21:14] Speaker B: Will just holds up the sword.
[00:21:17] Speaker A: This.
[00:21:19] Speaker C: Oh.
[00:21:23] Speaker B: Yeah.
Okay, well, I don't care about this anymore. I walk to my tent.
[00:21:30] Speaker C: Yes, yes.
[00:21:33] Speaker B: Where.
[00:21:34] Speaker C: Where did you come from anyway? Miss, we're out here in the middle of the ocean.
[00:21:39] Speaker A: Why, I sail up and down the coastline looking for folks such as yourself to.
To avail you of my wares.
[00:21:50] Speaker C: Okay. Well, all right. So are you. Are you gonna, like. Are you important or you. Can you go now?
[00:21:59] Speaker A: I think I can go now. I don't know the last time anybody thought of me as important.
[00:22:06] Speaker D: Yeah, well, I would buy something, but I don't have any money. I mean, actually, I do, but I'm not very good with money.
[00:22:15] Speaker A: What is money anyway?
[00:22:17] Speaker D: That's it.
[00:22:18] Speaker A: And who really has.
[00:22:20] Speaker E: Don't you have a. Isn't that a crossbow right there?
[00:22:26] Speaker A: I got a. I got a thing of bolts here.
[00:22:30] Speaker E: I was talking to Rafina.
[00:22:32] Speaker D: Oh, you need to speak a little louder.
[00:22:34] Speaker E: I was talking to Rafina.
[00:22:39] Speaker D: What did you say before that kick?
[00:22:41] Speaker E: Isn't that a crossbow?
[00:22:46] Speaker D: I thought they were just the bolts, I think.
[00:22:50] Speaker B: Was there a crossbow? There might have been a cross. Was there?
[00:22:53] Speaker E: No. On your shoulder.
[00:22:56] Speaker B: He's talking to you.
Oh, man, I'm so confused, too. But now, because of the confusion, I'm very confused. Holy moly.
[00:23:05] Speaker C: He has rod, key ring, red gem, scroll, stave, sword, club, and a quiver of crossbow.
[00:23:12] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:23:12] Speaker C: And so I guess, suggesting that maybe if you have a crossbow, maybe. Do you need these bolts?
[00:23:20] Speaker D: Yeah, but I always have bolts.
[00:23:23] Speaker C: Oh, let's look at these wares over here.
Oh, I wonder, is there anything particular or peculiar about these bolts?
[00:23:40] Speaker D: Well, how much do they cost?
[00:23:42] Speaker A: Well, hold on just one moment. I seem to have lost my current inventory list, so if you'll just give me a moment.
[00:23:50] Speaker C: Wait a minute. You shouldn't need an inventory list to tell us what goods and sundries you sell. Name goods and sundries for us, shopkeeper.
[00:23:59] Speaker A: Oh, well, surely you can. There's a lamp, there's.
[00:24:07] Speaker E: I feel like this is one of those things that, like, that happens to me all the time, where something in my environment is, like, say, red. And it's red the whole time until I go and I look at it and then it's actually blue or something.
[00:24:18] Speaker B: Yes, that's because you live in the Matrix, so.
[00:24:21] Speaker E: I know.
[00:24:21] Speaker A: So true.
[00:24:22] Speaker E: But that's what I feel like. I feel like.
I feel like the inventory, like we never, like, maybe it was really looked at.
[00:24:31] Speaker D: Yeah, it's true.
It happens.
[00:24:34] Speaker B: Babe, what's going on? You really can't find it?
[00:24:36] Speaker C: Sounds like there's something wrong with you. Metaphysically.
[00:24:42] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:24:43] Speaker C: I mean, no, with Alec. Oh. But also. Yeah, that seems like there's something wrong with you.
[00:24:47] Speaker A: Metaphysically, I mean, perhaps.
But is any of us even really here?
[00:24:56] Speaker C: I love. I love the philosophical shopkeepers. Like, what is money?
[00:25:01] Speaker B: I know, right?
[00:25:03] Speaker C: His whole house of cards is about to come crumbling down. I guess just have my things.
What is ownership?
[00:25:13] Speaker D: Well, can anyone check and see if there's anything wrong with these bolts? Because that sword was cursed.
[00:25:19] Speaker C: Rosco was going to do an arcana check on them, but then the shopkeep told him to. Hold up a minute.
[00:25:26] Speaker A: I did. I don't even.
[00:25:29] Speaker C: You know, you have a weird voice. What a silly, goofy voice for you to have. How funny if I would tell you that.
[00:25:35] Speaker A: No.
[00:25:36] Speaker C: Well, because it's kind of careens all over the place.
[00:25:39] Speaker B: It does.
[00:25:40] Speaker C: Like, up and down in this weird register. Yeah, and a weird accent, too, if you ask me.
[00:25:45] Speaker A: Accent? I've never been told at all.
[00:25:48] Speaker C: Well, yeah.
[00:25:50] Speaker A: I don't understand.
[00:25:52] Speaker C: I don't either.
[00:25:54] Speaker A: What's happening to me? I don't know. I wish that. That mean man were here to kind of stop this.
[00:26:02] Speaker B: If Rafina not only said that she doesn't have any money, but then she also said she might be interested in the crossbow boats, I think I feel like I'm walking away with a sword, and I don't even like holding it. And then I almost put it in the ground, but then I realize it's not a ground, it's a creature. And so I lift it up really quickly and hope that I didn't cut her. And then I just.
[00:26:22] Speaker A: A gout of blood shoots up into the sky.
She has really high blood pressure, turns.
[00:26:28] Speaker B: On his heel, and just kind. Kind of, like, is, like, crossing it, you know? You know, like. Like, if I could lean on the sword, but I can't. I'll stab this animal, but I, like, cross one ankle over the other, standing there, like, waiting for everybody, and, like, are we really still talking to these. This guy? And then what really just happened? I know there was a bunch of accent talk. Is that really how they're. Okay, all right, Enough.
[00:26:52] Speaker C: Oh, okay. Sorry.
[00:26:55] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:26:55] Speaker D: Sorry.
[00:26:57] Speaker B: Weren't you offended? You thought we were stealing from you? Do you want me to steal something from you?
I already have these pies and this sword.
[00:27:05] Speaker A: We had this unfortunate occurrence with the sword, and I do feel bad. I don't wish for you to think that I'm trying to take advantage of you.
[00:27:13] Speaker B: Are the crossbow bolts cursed?
[00:27:15] Speaker A: Not that I am aware of. They are magical, though.
[00:27:18] Speaker B: Oh, yeah? Is it a magic curse now?
[00:27:21] Speaker A: It sounds like you have an issue with my voice.
[00:27:24] Speaker B: I'm.
I think I already made that clear when I said to stop it.
[00:27:29] Speaker C: Roscoe's doing an arcana check on the bolts, and he wrote a 19.
[00:27:35] Speaker A: All right.
No, they.
These are walloping ammunition.
[00:27:43] Speaker B: I've heard of these.
[00:27:44] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, I guess walloping bolts are awesome.
Okay.
[00:27:52] Speaker A: You got 20 of them in there. And as it says right here. And he turns to look at the quiver that they're in, and he bends down. There's a little label here. I can read it to you?
[00:28:04] Speaker D: Yes, please.
[00:28:05] Speaker A: Maybe you all would like to read it, though I guess the label might not be enough to allay your concerns. Probably a cursed item would not be clearly labeled as such.
[00:28:14] Speaker B: You don't have any third party assessor, so everything you say needs to be double checked by everyone here.
[00:28:21] Speaker A: I do see this man over here with his newly acquired and well attuned staff of the python seems to be taking quite a close look. Do you. Do you wish to read this here, sir?
[00:28:39] Speaker C: Yeah, I'll read the label.
[00:28:40] Speaker A: All right.
[00:28:41] Speaker C: And then I'll share whether it's true or not.
[00:28:44] Speaker A: Okay, let me put it in chat so you can actually say it. I was tempted to just have you repeat after me, but I'm not gonna do that.
[00:28:53] Speaker D: That always goes really well.
[00:28:55] Speaker A: All right, I put it in roll 20.
[00:28:58] Speaker C: Ah, yes, this. The label reads this ammunition packs a wallop. A creature hit by the ammunition must succeed on a DC 10 strength saving throw or be not prone.
[00:29:23] Speaker A: And now, well, there you have it.
[00:29:25] Speaker C: Use my arcanic knowledge to verify the contents of this label. And Roscoe puts his hands on the quiver.
Quiver. Quiver.
Shake me. Timber.
I had to take my wand to the arcanic.
It's going to be there for who knows how long. They always try to screw me over about the wand. They try to, like, add all these things to it that I don't need.
[00:29:55] Speaker B: Yep. Change the wand oil.
[00:29:57] Speaker D: Change the wand filter not on the label.
[00:30:01] Speaker C: Are you real or are you limber?
If you are, I could have just pulled the core. I could have gotten out of here. Here I am.
[00:30:17] Speaker E: If you are, here's my number.
[00:30:19] Speaker C: If you are fake limber, you must tell me or else I will kill this shopkeeper.
[00:30:36] Speaker B: Whoa.
[00:30:38] Speaker D: The things we do for a rhyme.
[00:30:40] Speaker C: And with a 19.
[00:30:42] Speaker A: Oh. Okay.
I was waiting to hear if there was another verse.
[00:30:47] Speaker C: I'm gonna quit while I'm behind.
[00:30:51] Speaker A: Yeah. You think they're real?
[00:30:54] Speaker C: Yeah, they're real.
Not gonna kill you today, Soy.
[00:30:58] Speaker A: Well, good. Your friend here seemed to be trying to.
[00:31:01] Speaker C: None of us are going to kill you. You said yourself you're not important.
[00:31:05] Speaker A: Yeah, well, there's. That's the first upside I've had to that thought. That I have daily ever.
[00:31:13] Speaker C: Grafina.
These are powerful bolts, and if any of us can afford them, I would encourage us to acquire them. Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go back to my rutabago and play some more with my snake.
And I'm going to masturbate a bit too.
[00:31:34] Speaker B: Louie, we have to be in there.
[00:31:41] Speaker D: How much did these cost, shopkeeper?
[00:31:43] Speaker A: Oh, this quiver here of 25 magical walloping bolts comes to just a measly 175 gold pieces.
[00:31:55] Speaker D: Oh, I don't have that. Who wants to give me money?
[00:32:01] Speaker B: I'll give you money.
[00:32:01] Speaker E: I walk off to get Will.
[00:32:03] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, no, I was kind of paying attention. I was. I turned back and was observing.
[00:32:08] Speaker C: Will came back at the sound of weird accent play.
[00:32:11] Speaker B: I want to know. I want to know if that's a fair price. Can I roll for that?
[00:32:17] Speaker A: Yes, you may. You bargain hunting?
[00:32:20] Speaker B: Yeah, I want to roll for bargain hunting. That's a great roll, Abby. You should be the dm.
[00:32:26] Speaker A: Oh, you can roll for bargain hunting.
[00:32:29] Speaker B: You should be the dm.
[00:32:32] Speaker D: You're a great da.
[00:32:34] Speaker B: Bargain forever.
That's why he's begging for the Tremors game. He wants to play some game that.
[00:32:43] Speaker A: He doesn't have a DM Board games with our children.
[00:32:47] Speaker B: That's true too. He's so stressed out. Oh my God. Teaching kids games is.
What am I rolling?
[00:32:56] Speaker A: What do you think is fair?
[00:33:00] Speaker B: History. Let's see.
[00:33:01] Speaker A: Something probably intelligence based investigation.
[00:33:06] Speaker B: No. Nature.
Religion.
[00:33:09] Speaker A: I never know how to use history. You can roll me a history check with advantage.
[00:33:13] Speaker B: Oh, why? Because I.
Why?
[00:33:16] Speaker C: His costs are economics is just history.
[00:33:21] Speaker B: Oh, okay, cool.
[00:33:23] Speaker A: And you've been in the building that teaches a university level economics class. So what?
[00:33:30] Speaker B: I have, yeah. Oh, like the university.
[00:33:34] Speaker A: That's one of their courses.
[00:33:35] Speaker B: Wow. I've been in the building. So here we go.
[00:33:39] Speaker A: Culinary puppetry and economics.
[00:33:41] Speaker B: Oh, I think I rolled. Oh, I rolled the 3 and a 15. Good thing I got. But my first whirl was the 15.
I'm doing a weird accent too. My first rowl was 15.
I shout that to the guy hoping to impress Roscoe as he walks away.
[00:34:03] Speaker A: You think that it is in the realm of faire. Okay, probably like on the higher end than the lower end. It's not like a steel, but you don't think it's gouging either.
[00:34:13] Speaker B: Okay, how about I kill this guy Just kill him. All right?
[00:34:22] Speaker A: Kill him.
[00:34:23] Speaker B: Kill him.
[00:34:24] Speaker A: How about I just kill him?
[00:34:26] Speaker B: I. I got a. Oh, man. You know what I got? I have that necklace from Milling's Wagon.
That was like a weird.
It gives me like a roll. A 10 on average or something. Do you remember what that's called? Oh, is that sad if I give it away? You look sad.
[00:34:45] Speaker A: It's not sad. I'm just. I remember it.
[00:34:47] Speaker B: I. I never even sad that I.
[00:34:49] Speaker A: Don'T remember the name.
An amulet of predictability. Clockwork Amulet.
[00:34:58] Speaker B: Oh, that's all it's called?
[00:35:00] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:35:00] Speaker B: That's so generic sounding.
All right. But it is magic and probably is pretty powerful. I wonder. Can I roll? Can I do a little calculation?
How much do I think that amulet is worth?
[00:35:20] Speaker A: Give me.
[00:35:22] Speaker B: I'm looking it up.
[00:35:23] Speaker E: For real?
[00:35:24] Speaker B: Because I. I don't think you have any idea. What? Do you have an idea?
[00:35:29] Speaker A: I could in a minute.
No, I could look it up. You're not supposed to look it up.
[00:35:35] Speaker B: Oh, I'm not?
[00:35:36] Speaker A: Well, it's like you looking up the stat block for a boss you're fighting.
[00:35:39] Speaker B: I never do that. But this is money, and Will knows.
[00:35:43] Speaker A: Money, so I want to know if he knows it.
[00:35:46] Speaker D: Wait a second. Wait a second.
[00:35:47] Speaker A: You didn't take this to a third party appraiser?
[00:35:49] Speaker B: She's saying what?
[00:35:52] Speaker A: Sorry, we're dithering over here. It may sound like just random Internet scrolling and long delays over looking up what items I have in my inventory. That is not the case. This is a nuanced and, well, helmed negotiation process anyway. But go on.
[00:36:16] Speaker D: Are you. Are you headed to.
Where's that place we were.
[00:36:21] Speaker A: Well, let's. If you're saying Trent, you're right.
[00:36:25] Speaker D: Yeah, I think I am saying Trent. Well, I have a pile here of vouchers that we're not going to use.
Excuse me? I mean, we would use. And they are of great value.
I would really like to consider those bolts in exchange. Well, just tell me what you think these vouchers are worth.
Toss them on the table. I spread them across the table.
[00:36:56] Speaker A: All right.
[00:36:59] Speaker B: Amazing.
[00:36:59] Speaker A: Oh, he picks one up.
[00:37:01] Speaker D: Look, you can get a free background.
[00:37:02] Speaker A: Holds it up to the sun, holds it to the sun, bites it.
[00:37:07] Speaker E: I can help. I. I have one, too. I pull out like a crinkled up, half ripped one.
[00:37:14] Speaker A: Moist.
You smooth it out on the table. It just rips and like, just pulls apart in two or three pieces.
[00:37:22] Speaker C: Pieces it back together.
[00:37:27] Speaker D: I mean, these are really great because you can use them anywhere for almost.
[00:37:31] Speaker A: Anything, and people accept these There.
[00:37:35] Speaker D: What's that?
[00:37:36] Speaker A: People accept these as legal tender.
[00:37:38] Speaker D: They sure do. See, there was a captain there. He was kind of in love with me and he gave me these. And they're very valuable.
[00:37:46] Speaker A: Wow. So they're not just specifically like for you or like people. The captain goes around saying, hey, this person's gonna come in here with a little love trinket of mine.
[00:37:56] Speaker D: Accept it, check out what it says.
What does it say?
[00:38:02] Speaker A: I was gonna ask you the same question.
[00:38:05] Speaker D: It says universal.
[00:38:08] Speaker A: Is it on the wiki?
[00:38:11] Speaker D: If only.
[00:38:14] Speaker A: It's close.
[00:38:15] Speaker D: And isn't it? Look, there's a little picture of all of the businesses of Trent. There's a map of all of Trent and all the businesses. And that implies that you can use all of these.
You can use this as legal tender at any of these businesses.
[00:38:30] Speaker A: And they're just valid for an infinite amount of value at any of these establishments.
[00:38:38] Speaker D: No, I didn't say infinite. It really does depend on what it says on the voucher.
[00:38:44] Speaker A: Because it doesn't have a value. There's no value on these. These are all the same.
[00:38:50] Speaker C: This guy's really thinking through the realities of money.
How does it work?
[00:38:56] Speaker D: What is money?
[00:38:59] Speaker A: Well, I'm not sure if I know, but these vouchers aren't giving me any more of a clue is all I'm saying.
[00:39:07] Speaker D: But these are wonder.
[00:39:09] Speaker A: Okay, listen, listen. I'm not. Not sold. I'm just trying to understand the realities of this economic mind fuck you've laid before me.
[00:39:21] Speaker E: When you wake up from this dream, these vouchers will give you an amazing idea.
[00:39:29] Speaker B: All right?
[00:39:30] Speaker D: Amazing. What? I couldn't hear you.
[00:39:34] Speaker C: Idea.
[00:39:37] Speaker A: You guys need to turn on, like self monitoring or something.
[00:39:41] Speaker D: Yeah. For real? Yeah. That would be a good idea.
[00:39:45] Speaker E: Wouldn't you like to have a great idea? When you wake up from this dream?
[00:39:50] Speaker B: Dream Will comes over. He's. He's worried that this is getting out of control. Will, listen.
[00:39:56] Speaker A: It's going to devolve into accent talk soon.
[00:39:59] Speaker B: Aces, was it? Here's the. Here's the thing. It depends on how scrupulous you want to be. These vouchers I can guarantee, as a person who loves business, I think is what you called me last time, a business lover guy. You gave us some kind of name.
I don't know.
These could be your ticket to making a lot of gold for basically nothing. If you want to hurry on over to Trent and grab a bunch of.
[00:40:27] Speaker A: Shit to sell, why didn't you do that?
[00:40:31] Speaker B: Because I don't use vouchers.
[00:40:34] Speaker A: That sounds ill. Advised, at the very least, with the picture you're painting me.
[00:40:39] Speaker B: Well, what I'm saying is, why do you not.
[00:40:41] Speaker A: Why are you so morally opposed to the vouchering?
[00:40:44] Speaker B: I'm not morally opposed to it aesthetically and tastefully opposed to.
[00:40:50] Speaker C: Aesthetically, yeah, that's good.
[00:40:52] Speaker A: But the thing is, that's maybe worse.
[00:40:56] Speaker D: Well, but we had to get to Gully's End.
[00:41:00] Speaker B: Yes, we did have to hurry from.
[00:41:02] Speaker A: Was there even more money to be made there?
[00:41:04] Speaker B: Listen, will you stop this act? Are you a businessman or aren't you? Are you a scrupulous businessman or not? How much money do you want to make? Roll. Not intimidation. Convince.
[00:41:16] Speaker A: Persuasion.
[00:41:17] Speaker B: Yeah, Persuasion.
[00:41:18] Speaker D: Convincing.
[00:41:20] Speaker A: I like it when you guys demand your own roles. It makes my job very easy.
[00:41:23] Speaker B: Well, I want. Because, like, I will still roll with you. Here's my persuasion roll. It's a 22. He puts his hand. He's like I'm doing. I put my fingers on the table.
[00:41:33] Speaker A: Pinning one of the vouchers to the.
[00:41:35] Speaker B: How serious?
[00:41:36] Speaker A: Sorry, Real quick, Abby. I'm sure you know the answer about as well as I do. How many of these are there?
[00:41:43] Speaker D: I have the number 20 written down, but I.
[00:41:45] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:41:46] Speaker D: But I think that's a number. I think I might. Yeah.
[00:41:49] Speaker A: That's more than I had. Okay.
[00:41:51] Speaker B: Yeah. There were so many.
He's saying how.
How successful do you want to be or do you want to be?
[00:41:59] Speaker A: I've asked myself that many times because there's something to be said about the life of being out here on a boat on the open sea, but I don't encounter customers as often as I could. If I.
[00:42:12] Speaker B: Listen, you could still do that. That's not what I'm asking. I want to know right now how serious you are about getting rich.
[00:42:20] Speaker A: Rich? I don't think I'll ever be rich.
[00:42:23] Speaker B: If you listen to me for fucking one minute and stop acting like this, maybe you will be a rich man.
[00:42:30] Speaker A: Are you?
[00:42:31] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:42:33] Speaker A: Why are you out here on a. I guess this is some sort of magical moving island. So you must.
[00:42:39] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:42:40] Speaker A: Oh, okay. It's coming together now.
[00:42:42] Speaker B: Yeah. Okay, so listen to me. You take these vouchers, you go to Trent within the next couple days, you use all of them on whatever materials you want and you sell it for pure profit. But you have to do it soon, because the only unscrupulous part of it is that these vouchers are now actually technically worthless because the guy that guarantees them is dead. Now, what I'm saying to you is that you have to go there now. They don't know. They don't fucking know anything in Trent. They're a bunch of imbeciles. You need to go to whatever store you want to go to, and you need to grab whatever expensive goods you can find that you might be able to sell with whatever skills you may possess or possibly not.
[00:43:24] Speaker A: Well, you have at least three of my items in possession currently, so I.
[00:43:28] Speaker B: Think I'm doing some more of a job.
[00:43:30] Speaker A: Great.
[00:43:30] Speaker B: Cursed items. Unless you want to go that route, I'm sure there are people who want to buy them. All I'm saying is you go there, you take these vouchers, they're worth probably anything on your freaking boat here. Go get some items. They will. They accept them as legal tender. I am not lying to you. I don't know if you want me to roll anything, but he's. I had that.22 persuasion.
[00:43:50] Speaker A: You're also not lying.
[00:43:51] Speaker B: Also, I'm not lying, but I'm just saying you're.
[00:43:55] Speaker A: This is all persuasion. You're not trying to fool him at this point, to be honest, this guy.
[00:44:00] Speaker B: Seems like he's a terrible businessman. So Will's just like, I have no idea what faith I have in you, but I have faith in comics.
[00:44:06] Speaker A: Plus, you're touching his craft with your.
[00:44:09] Speaker B: Two fingers, and he keeps jabbing it like this. Like he's like, this is unscrupulous, but it will make you rich. Now go do it. Grab the vouchers. Give us whatever the we want. Because, honestly, you could probably get. I don't know, guys. How many magic items did you see while we were in Trenton? Trenton. That's a Jersey. It's a Jersey city. Sorry. In Trent, because I know that there was definitely a store that had magic items. There was Millings, but there were other stores. Yeah. So, you know, and plus, there's a florist shop. If you just want to put flowers all over your boat. I don't know, you can get whatever you want. You could get meals, you can get whatever. You can have the time of your life there, but you got to go there and do it with the next couple days, and you'll get pure profit. And then you can go retire somewhere.
[00:44:53] Speaker A: Oh, if they have a casino, I could gamble with it.
[00:44:58] Speaker B: I don't know. I don't know Trent that well.
[00:45:01] Speaker D: Was there a casino?
[00:45:03] Speaker A: I don't know.
[00:45:04] Speaker B: But how about this? If in a few weeks, cross my fingers, because I'm just hoping that it'll be a few weeks. In a few weeks, come visit me.
[00:45:14] Speaker A: In Tivoli and seven human years?
[00:45:18] Speaker D: Yep.
[00:45:19] Speaker B: Seven. Another seven human years.
[00:45:22] Speaker A: 20. 20.
What is it? What? Or 2031.
[00:45:28] Speaker B: If you want to gamble, you can gamble to your heart's content. And I will give you a lovely place to stay in Tivoli. And if you get the fuck out of here and you give me this key.
[00:45:36] Speaker A: Where's that?
[00:45:37] Speaker B: It's up north. You're going to be retired. You can come up there, gamble everything you want.
[00:45:42] Speaker A: Okay. I just never heard of it.
[00:45:44] Speaker B: Great. Yeah, so I've heard. But believe me, it's great. It's why I'm rich. Okay. Now go forth and maybe be rich if you're mildly successful at all, which you probably will be. Go ahead.
[00:45:59] Speaker A: This guy, he just reaches behind him without breaking eye contact with you and places the crossbow bolts on the counter.
[00:46:09] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:46:09] Speaker A: In front of you. And then starts slowly gathering up the 20 dry and one crumpled, soggy vouchers.
[00:46:18] Speaker B: All right, cool. Does anyone else have any vouchers? We don't need vouchers.
[00:46:24] Speaker A: More.
[00:46:25] Speaker B: I don't know. Don't hold us up. I'm saying I don't know if we have any. We probably don't. This is probably it.
[00:46:31] Speaker E: Here's another one.
[00:46:34] Speaker A: And then Shimmy walks up and starts pulling out of various parts of his body many vouchers.
[00:46:40] Speaker B: I'll give him elbow. Don't do them all. Don't do them all. I subtly elbow him if I can. Don't give away them all. But there you go. But do it fast and get the out of here. What else have you got here? Anything cool? Anything good tasting besides these pies? Anything? I don't know. Get the out of here.
[00:46:58] Speaker A: Okay.
Let go of the rope.
[00:47:01] Speaker B: Who's holding it? Mo.
All right.
[00:47:04] Speaker C: Mo.
[00:47:04] Speaker A: Mo.
[00:47:04] Speaker B: What about you, Mo? Anything here? What do you want?
[00:47:08] Speaker A: I don't know.
I mean, I would take.
Hmm.
What do you think most look like something I like.
[00:47:21] Speaker B: I don't remember what's on there.
[00:47:22] Speaker C: Club. The club.
Does Moe have a weapon?
[00:47:26] Speaker A: Roscoe said Club.
[00:47:28] Speaker B: Mo has a knife.
[00:47:29] Speaker A: Rafina say key.
That's two votes.
[00:47:34] Speaker B: I think the key is cool. I already told him to give us the key. So it sounds like he might agree with all the worth of this vouchers.
[00:47:40] Speaker A: He pushes the key forward as he's stowing away. The vouchers have gone. You don't see them anymore.
[00:47:46] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:47:49] Speaker A: Ah. What do you think, Kick?
[00:47:53] Speaker E: What?
[00:47:54] Speaker A: What?
Wake up.
[00:47:56] Speaker C: Kick.
[00:47:56] Speaker B: Wake up.
[00:47:57] Speaker A: Hello. We having conversation with other person.
We try to do business deals.
Vouchers. You just give voucher.
[00:48:08] Speaker E: 2 seconds ago I was looking for More. I was thinking.
[00:48:13] Speaker A: Okay. Okay. Kik. I ask. Sorry to be so upset. I ask which item most look like something Mo would like. I don't know how to shop, and there have been votes, but I not tell you which ones they are. So you're not biased?
[00:48:30] Speaker E: Maybe be.
Maybe.
[00:48:38] Speaker C: A club.
[00:48:40] Speaker A: Oh, no, we have Ty.
Except I guess there's other people, but they don't always say stuff.
Especially not while I talk.
Oh, now, come on. Sometimes we have long in depth conversations, usually in the back while others are speaking.
[00:49:00] Speaker D: I'm sure.
So, you know, why isn't someone going? We can go ask Roscoe.
[00:49:06] Speaker A: Roscoe say club.
[00:49:08] Speaker C: Well, Roscoe's not there. Adam said.
[00:49:11] Speaker A: Oh, sorry.
[00:49:12] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:49:12] Speaker D: Oh. Oh, yeah. I wasn't doing math very well. Got it.
[00:49:17] Speaker A: All right.
[00:49:17] Speaker B: But how do we know if the club is cursed or not?
[00:49:20] Speaker A: Well, I wish I could tell you that I am 100% sure it is not, but clearly that is not the case.
So I do not know.
But you figured out this one was cursed. Maybe you're. Aren't you? I mean, is that something you're good at?
[00:49:39] Speaker B: Maybe.
[00:49:40] Speaker E: Mo likes cursed swords.
[00:49:42] Speaker A: Hmm.
[00:49:43] Speaker B: Club sword.
[00:49:47] Speaker E: He likes the cursed sword.
[00:49:48] Speaker B: No, we're not giving Mo the cursed sword kick.
[00:49:51] Speaker A: What was wrong with it again?
[00:49:53] Speaker B: It's cursed.
[00:49:54] Speaker A: Yeah, but how?
[00:49:56] Speaker B: It has a bad spirit inside of it. And you don't want to mess with it because they're having bad spirit inside of him. You have a tasty spirit inside. Not just bad. Spicy mad.
[00:50:08] Speaker A: In Michael Jackson sense, bad.
[00:50:11] Speaker B: And Michael.
[00:50:11] Speaker A: Did I say mad?
[00:50:12] Speaker B: You said mad.
[00:50:13] Speaker A: Yes, mad. And you know how mad always lampoon Michael Jackson in there magazine.
[00:50:20] Speaker B: What was I rolling? An arcana. Oh, God. On this club. A21 doing pretty well tonight. On this club.
[00:50:28] Speaker A: On this. Everybody in the club rolling 20s.
[00:50:36] Speaker B: I don't even know what the price is. Geez, we're just robbing this guy blind now.
[00:50:40] Speaker A: I mean, if vouchers.
[00:50:41] Speaker B: If he gets to Trent.
I know Millings has sundries.
If only Eric can list them all, as Adam pointed out, then he will be good.
[00:50:55] Speaker E: I bet. I bet I could draw more vouchers. They look really simple, don't they?
[00:51:04] Speaker A: Oh, you can draw kick.
You're a good drawer.
[00:51:08] Speaker E: No, someone else could do it, though.
[00:51:12] Speaker B: If only I could draw someone else.
[00:51:15] Speaker A: I think that's true about anything. But anyway, so you rolled a 21 on the club. You don't think it's cursed. You think it is magic.
You think it's probably in. In its magic.
Something to do with dealing extra damage.
[00:51:37] Speaker B: All right. How about the stick? I look at the guy.
[00:51:42] Speaker A: Do you mean the sta. The other staff?
[00:51:44] Speaker B: No, I meant this. I'm just holding. I'm already holding it if I'm looking at it.
[00:51:47] Speaker A: Well, it's in the back. It's. It's.
[00:51:49] Speaker B: Oh, how about that stick?
[00:51:53] Speaker A: Well, that's the Vicious Club.
Do you. Do you deem it to be cursed, sir? Do you see it with your curse vision?
[00:52:03] Speaker B: God, you need a whole business lesson if you are not going to lose your entire business in the next couple days is what it seems like.
[00:52:10] Speaker A: How so? What do you.
[00:52:11] Speaker B: Because don't just trust everybody. That every thing that everybody says but God anyway.
[00:52:19] Speaker A: Well, I was always told that if I believe it, my customers will believe it.
[00:52:24] Speaker D: Nah.
[00:52:26] Speaker B: Yes, that is true, but not in the way that you're using it.
Okay, how.
[00:52:35] Speaker C: How do you watch Eric listening as these NPCs and not throttle him?
[00:52:44] Speaker B: Oh yeah, I know. I know because I know.
[00:52:50] Speaker F: Watching him just be so like this.
[00:52:54] Speaker A: Innocent, stupid face on camera now.
[00:53:01] Speaker B: Oh, he just spilled the drink everywhere. Oh God. That's electric. Electric.
[00:53:08] Speaker D: Is it on the keyboard?
[00:53:10] Speaker B: All right, so this guy.
[00:53:13] Speaker A: Yeah, sorry about that. I spilled my coffee.
[00:53:16] Speaker B: All right. Oh my God.
[00:53:19] Speaker C: All over the club.
[00:53:23] Speaker D: Now we get a discount.
[00:53:26] Speaker B: All right.
[00:53:28] Speaker A: Now I'm getting a little dubious about these. These vouchers.
[00:53:35] Speaker B: Excuse me, I rolled a 22, you dummy.
You should be dubious about your sales skills, but not dubious about these vouchers. These are the best things you've seen in a while. You have a seller selling you cursed swords and you're just accepting it. And meanwhile you're get. You're getting presented with probably thousands, thousands and thousands of gold pieces worth of vouchers. And you don't, don't you know, don't get worried about that part.
[00:54:10] Speaker A: Well, I mean this is. This club is worth like 4, 000 gold.
[00:54:17] Speaker B: You liar. You liar. I don't say that in character. You liar. I don't believe you at all. Oh, it's worth like 20 gold. What is this bullshit? It's worth 4,000 gold.
[00:54:28] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:54:29] Speaker B: Okay, now I have to do with economics.
[00:54:31] Speaker A: Check 3500 for it and I like to get about a 20.20ish percent.
[00:54:39] Speaker B: Somebody roll to see if this guy got cheated. He must have got. This is the most frustrating salesperson is.
[00:54:45] Speaker A: On a truth still active.
[00:54:46] Speaker B: I don't know how long it is active for.
[00:54:51] Speaker A: I don't either. Let's say it's not kick fell asleep at one point.
[00:54:58] Speaker B: Okay. But we can roll a insight. Fine.
[00:55:01] Speaker A: Yes, you Can I feel bad?
[00:55:02] Speaker B: I'm just like Insight. It's gonna be a bad roll because I've just been. Oh, my God. A 20. Insight. All right. I'm glad that every roll against the sky is perfection. Insight on this dummy.
[00:55:13] Speaker A: You don't think he's lying?
[00:55:15] Speaker B: Okay, but that doesn't tell me whether this thing is worth anything.
That's whack. I mean, kick that. Bath Time for Kick.
Is that stick.
[00:55:27] Speaker A: There's got to be an episode title at some point.
[00:55:30] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:55:30] Speaker A: We've got to keep fitting it in there.
[00:55:31] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:55:31] Speaker A: We have a this episode brought to you by Bath Time for Kick.
[00:55:35] Speaker B: Oh, let's write a commercial for.
[00:55:37] Speaker A: What was it? Calgon?
[00:55:38] Speaker B: Take me away. Bath.
[00:55:40] Speaker D: Mr. Bubble.
[00:55:41] Speaker B: Mr.
[00:55:42] Speaker A: Bubble.
[00:55:43] Speaker B: Mr. Bathwack. Yay. I'm gonna draw that. I gotta draw, like, the Mr. Bubble guy. So cute in pink. But I'll draw a cute Bathwhack. It'll be like the Keroppi from hello Kitty, which we just talked about.
[00:55:54] Speaker A: But doesn't have to kick, though.
[00:55:56] Speaker B: Yes. That's why I said care. Oh. For Kick. Yeah, but he's still a lizard. Fold. It'll work.
[00:56:01] Speaker A: Yeah, he's still a lizard fault.
[00:56:03] Speaker B: I know Bathwack isn't one. I'm sorry. That was really racist. Bathwhack. I didn't say that out loud.
Kick. Anybody know anything about the worth of that stick? And this guy paid. Okay, Mo, I'm gonna get you something else. This is not just. You know what? Good luck with your 3500 gold piece stick.
[00:56:19] Speaker A: Oh, and I mean vouchers that are worth arguably more.
[00:56:24] Speaker B: The vouchers are worth a ton if you get there fast enough. It is all on you at this moment. All right, Let go of the rope. When?
[00:56:36] Speaker E: You'll get there faster with an empty hold.
[00:56:40] Speaker A: That's true.
That sounds like a pirate.
He knows the way to hold, you guys.
[00:56:49] Speaker C: Eric, could you back up from the camera?
[00:56:51] Speaker B: Because.
[00:56:53] Speaker C: Disconcerting. Thank you.
[00:56:59] Speaker A: No problem, Adam.
Anyway, where were we?
[00:57:06] Speaker C: Oh, Alex.
For a whole new angle.
[00:57:12] Speaker A: Look at that cleavage.
[00:57:14] Speaker C: Abby.
That was Louisa K. Us.
[00:57:22] Speaker E: Abigail.
[00:57:24] Speaker D: What?
[00:57:25] Speaker E: Can you move the camera?
[00:57:26] Speaker B: Look at his freckles. He's got freckles. You don't see them usually.
He's so sad. Oh, my God. He looks like a baby. He's so young.
[00:57:35] Speaker A: This is the start of a maternity bra commercial.
[00:57:42] Speaker B: We still talk about. I think we talked about that the other day. Like, remember when Abby was talking about doing.
[00:57:47] Speaker A: We were talking about the type of jealousy that.
[00:57:50] Speaker B: That I have versus Alex has.
Yeah. Alex. We were like, we're so similar in a lot of ways. And the jealousy thing is there, but I'm like, but would I be jealous if you went and did a maternity bra photo shoot? No, I would not.
[00:58:06] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:58:06] Speaker A: Talk about whether how you would feel if I started an only fans.
[00:58:11] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. He tried to. That was not comparison. It wasn't. Listen, I said I would be fine with it as long as you wouldn't, like, if you could earn us.
[00:58:19] Speaker A: That was the thing. If you made enough money, sure, yeah.
[00:58:22] Speaker B: Like, go ahead. But, like, also, be careful. Like, you couldn't, like, start and just be, like, having your face there with your big head in the camera.
[00:58:30] Speaker A: Like, what if.
[00:58:32] Speaker E: But what if someone was gonna. Like, what if someone like me was gonna pay Eric, like, $3 million to have an affair with me?
[00:58:38] Speaker B: Yes. Hello. Do it right now anyway.
What the fuck?
[00:58:43] Speaker A: What's happening? This is that movie.
I think I'm gonna be going now.
[00:58:57] Speaker D: Doesn't it make a difference if the maternity bras have the person exposing the flap?
[00:59:03] Speaker B: It shouldn't. It should not. Not to me, it doesn't. I don't care. See, that's a jarb. Okay. That's a jorb.
Yeah.
[00:59:12] Speaker C: Sometimes the flap makes all the difference.
[00:59:14] Speaker E: What flap are you talking about?
[00:59:16] Speaker B: Even if you don't, Eternity bra has these. You can.
[00:59:20] Speaker D: The only flap.
[00:59:21] Speaker B: The only flaps. I want to start an only fans would called only flaps. Just for Abby, though, and I guess Alex, because nobody else is allowed to look at it.
[00:59:33] Speaker C: Is the session done?
[00:59:35] Speaker B: Yes.
Are we?
[00:59:37] Speaker C: I think that's it, right?
[00:59:40] Speaker B: Holy crap.
Holy flaps.
Thanks for listening. I don't even have to edit on Facebook and Twitter.
[00:59:56] Speaker D: Be sure to join us next week.
[00:59:58] Speaker B: To find out what happens to your favorite.
[01:00:01] Speaker C: Wow, it's so old.
It's from when there's still Twitter.
[01:00:06] Speaker E: Yes, Unfortunately, I don't have $3 million. Sorry.
[01:00:10] Speaker B: That's fucked up.
Really was banking on this choice.
As of five minutes ago, we could retire.
Hey, everyone, if you like what you hear, please consider leaving us a kind review wherever that sort of thing happens.
[01:00:32] Speaker C: Chaos. This is chaos.
[01:00:34] Speaker A: It's done.
[01:00:35] Speaker B: Oh, my God. He loves to torture me with that. I hate it.
Guys, do. What do you say?
[01:00:49] Speaker A: Stop it just.
[01:00:54] Speaker B: Eric doesn't have anything planned. That's why this is where we are right now. It's just like, what's happening.
[01:01:03] Speaker A: Hey, everyone. If you like what you hear, please leave us a kind review wherever you listen to us. Also consider supporting us by subscribing to us on ko [email protected] supportpfd where you can gain access to lots of exclusive treats and behind the scenes goodies. Thanks for listening and we'll see you next time.
