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Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hey, listeners, if you go to tinyurl.com supportpfd and subscribe at the sluglord level, Rosco will be able to afford gas to power his rutabago.
[00:00:10] Speaker B: Plus, you'll have access to bonus content about his dating app usage.
[00:00:15] Speaker A: So do it. Thank you.
[00:00:20] Speaker B: You're listening to the show about. It's finally March. Fuck February. It's pork fried dice.
I'm Eric and I'm the dungeon master.
[00:00:32] Speaker C: I'm Abby and I play Rafina.
[00:00:35] Speaker D: I'm Alex and I play Batwack.
[00:00:38] Speaker A: I'm KT and I play Will.
[00:00:42] Speaker E: I'm Adam and I play Roscoe.
[00:00:47] Speaker B: Hold onto your haversacks. Let's roll.
[00:00:54] Speaker A: There are some bad people that are trying to take over Gully's end. That's why we need to get there.
[00:01:02] Speaker B: Okay.
That was not my voice.
[00:01:11] Speaker C: Forrest Gump for a second.
[00:01:14] Speaker B: Jenny, Jenna, do you want me to start moving?
[00:01:26] Speaker A: No. Do we need material? Guys, do you want anything? There's a ship. Half a ship.
[00:01:33] Speaker C: Well, the ship won't stay lodged for a long time, but it'll stay lodged.
[00:01:36] Speaker A: For a little bit, right, Rafina, do you need a blanket is what I'm saying. Do you need something, Rafina? You know what?
I just fly away.
[00:01:45] Speaker C: Scraps of wood.
[00:01:46] Speaker A: Will starts grabbing random. He has no idea what the. He's getting.
[00:01:52] Speaker C: Ship and grab five things.
[00:01:54] Speaker B: Five things. Five things.
[00:01:57] Speaker A: Five things.
[00:01:59] Speaker D: Well, maybe we might want a lifeboat later if we can't get close to the water.
[00:02:03] Speaker A: Some lifeboats, we. I think that was part of it. Yeah. We'll drag those onto the island.
[00:02:07] Speaker D: We'll tie them to an eyelash.
[00:02:09] Speaker A: Yeah, we have lifeboats. Will is gonna grab, like, blankets. I'll grab pieces of wood.
[00:02:16] Speaker C: Rafina gets a bunch of mugs from the kitchen.
[00:02:19] Speaker A: I love it.
[00:02:22] Speaker B: The kitchen is gone.
[00:02:23] Speaker A: I get. Oh, okay. Is there alcohol?
[00:02:25] Speaker B: Basically all that's accessible are the cabins at this point.
[00:02:30] Speaker A: Was. What about the drinking room?
[00:02:32] Speaker B: No, that's gone.
[00:02:33] Speaker A: The captain's quarters?
[00:02:34] Speaker B: Yeah, that's there.
[00:02:35] Speaker A: So he had a bar. I'll go in there and try to find some alcohol. Okay, I'm doing that. I'm gonna be the. I'm gonna be the hero of this goddamn island if I.
[00:02:44] Speaker B: How about this?
[00:02:45] Speaker C: Rafina starts pulling on the piano. Wh.
[00:02:48] Speaker E: Yes.
[00:02:48] Speaker B: You want the wheels?
[00:02:51] Speaker C: She wants the whole thing.
[00:02:53] Speaker B: Just crashed it onto the ground. Keys went flying everywhere. And you got two feet up on the bottom of it pulling the wheel.
Why don't we do this? Let's take a bathroom break. And everybody can think of what they want. From the cabins or the captain's quarters or the front half of the top deck of the ship. That's what you have access to.
[00:03:15] Speaker C: I wanted mugs, but I couldn't have.
[00:03:16] Speaker B: No, you could not.
[00:03:18] Speaker A: Oh, we can find mugs somewhere. If Rafina says find. I can't find mugs.
[00:03:22] Speaker B: I mean, if the. If the. If the captain has a bar, there's probably some drinking vessels. Maybe not a mug, but perhaps a stein. Would you.
[00:03:30] Speaker C: All right.
[00:03:31] Speaker B: Eric, can I see you a stein?
[00:03:35] Speaker C: I'll see your stein and raise you a piano.
[00:03:37] Speaker B: A wheel.
[00:03:39] Speaker A: All right.
[00:03:40] Speaker C: I'll think about it in the bathroom.
[00:03:41] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:03:43] Speaker A: In the head.
[00:03:45] Speaker C: Okay. Bye.
[00:03:46] Speaker B: Bye.
[00:03:47] Speaker A: I was singing Private Eyes. Now it's going to be in my head for, like, probably a week.
[00:03:51] Speaker C: It stuck in my head, too.
[00:03:53] Speaker A: Private Ey, no, that's Hungry Eyes.
[00:03:56] Speaker C: That's.
[00:03:58] Speaker A: Maybe that's the one I have to do for next week, but it's not. Oh, God. What? I hope it's not a Hungry. Ey. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
[00:04:09] Speaker D: There's so many Eye songs.
So many.
[00:04:13] Speaker A: Okay, good, because we're still on this giant eye, and I think that's.
[00:04:17] Speaker B: You should recreate a scene from Mickey Blue Eyes.
[00:04:20] Speaker A: Oh, my God. Mickey Blue Eyes. I watched that movie.
[00:04:24] Speaker E: Oh, Mickey Blue Eyes is great, isn't it?
[00:04:26] Speaker A: The crazy thing, like, it's. I don't think I ever. Like, I've never met anybody who has seen it. It's like.
[00:04:33] Speaker B: About it.
[00:04:34] Speaker A: Forget about it. I say it all the time. I quote that movie all the time. Because there was a. It was a summer that I went with my family, like my dad, and it was like when I was younger, when that movie, I guess, probably was out for a couple years, and it was one of those old main grocery stores that had a bucket of VHS in them for like, you know, four bucks or something like that. And we bought Mickey Blue Eyes and the Wedding Singer and there was another one. But we watched those movies, like, endlessly that week because you didn't have any tv. It was just this old VHS player. And, man, Mickey Blue Eyes. Like, holy. It was. I love that movie.
[00:05:09] Speaker E: It's been a long, long times. But, like, I love the. The name of the restaurant, the la.
[00:05:16] Speaker A: Isn't that.
[00:05:17] Speaker E: And then at the end of the movie. At the end of the movie, they put the.
[00:05:21] Speaker C: The.
[00:05:22] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:05:22] Speaker E: It's so good.
[00:05:23] Speaker A: I love Adam. I love that you know that. Like, nobody has. Nobody ever knows that movie.
[00:05:29] Speaker E: I want to rewatch that. Yeah. It's been forever.
[00:05:31] Speaker A: I would watch it. I would watch it again. It's it has been a while.
[00:05:34] Speaker C: Let's have a party. Watching that and Gremlins.
[00:05:37] Speaker A: Oh, my God, Gremlins. I love Gremlins too. Oh, my God, so much. It's an obsession. And the Gremlins is another level.
[00:05:44] Speaker B: Mickey Blue eyes is starring that guy from the D and D movie.
[00:05:48] Speaker A: Oh, What? Oh, Hugh. Hugh Grim in the D and D movie. I forgot.
[00:05:53] Speaker B: So there's a tie in there.
[00:05:55] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:05:56] Speaker B: To what we're doing right now.
[00:05:59] Speaker A: K. Good job. What segue. Is that what you're trying to do? Even though it's kind of the opposite. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:06:06] Speaker B: So let's keep talking about Hugh Grant.
So did everybody decide what they're gonna scavenge from the ship?
[00:06:16] Speaker E: Oh, I haven't been thinking about that at all.
[00:06:20] Speaker A: Oops.
[00:06:22] Speaker D: I already have all my stuff.
[00:06:24] Speaker E: I don't know. I. I'm distracted by thoughts and plans and questions about our plans.
[00:06:31] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. What?
[00:06:32] Speaker C: We have two days to plan.
[00:06:33] Speaker A: Talk about it. Because I don't really want to start zooming away on this guy and then. Or girl or they. Or whatever.
[00:06:41] Speaker E: And I. I don't know if I have the energy to do it in character as Roscoe.
[00:06:46] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh.
[00:06:47] Speaker E: I could, though. Do you guys want to. Hey, guys, I'm Roscoe LaFlausdale.
[00:06:55] Speaker C: Are we going to plan something again?
[00:06:57] Speaker E: Just thinking about our plan or lack thereof.
So it seems to me that Dusk here is an ace in the pocket, so to speak. It's a pretty big ace. Pretty big pocket.
And if we show up at Gully's End, riding them. Hey, Dusk, what are your preferred pronouns?
[00:07:31] Speaker A: I.
[00:07:33] Speaker B: Okay, well, that was just a.
Oh.
[00:07:42] Speaker E: Good one.
[00:07:44] Speaker C: That's a good one. Many layers.
[00:07:46] Speaker B: She. Her. Her.
[00:07:51] Speaker E: So if we show up right in her, we will be seen and her ex, her existence will be known.
So what if. And we're right here on the map. Right. We're in.
[00:08:10] Speaker B: Pinging where that eyeball is.
[00:08:12] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:08:13] Speaker B: Yeah. How'd you know?
[00:08:14] Speaker E: So what if we only ride Dusk over to this northwestern corner of Land here? Up there that you can see in the distance, perhaps.
[00:08:36] Speaker D: Oh, like. And dropped off. Not at a port.
[00:08:39] Speaker E: Get dropped off. Yeah. And approach Gully's End by land. Because we were advised that the ports are being watched. In the meantime, as we travel to Gully's End via land, Dusk here can travel underwater and meet us and. Wait, underwater? North of Gully's End, north of the mouth to the river.
And only makes her presence known when we give her the signal. Some kind of agreed upon signal. We can spend Next session, deciding.
[00:09:20] Speaker A: What are we expecting her to do?
[00:09:23] Speaker E: Well, I don't know. We don't know because we. But. But that's the thing is I think that we send her to Gully's End.
We have her. Wait. Are you good at waiting, Dusk, when you've waited many, many years to be remembered by us mortals.
[00:09:43] Speaker C: She talks so slowly. So I'll just remind you that she can't be above this out of the depths for too long.
[00:09:50] Speaker A: Right, right.
[00:09:52] Speaker E: I needed to say in the depths.
[00:09:54] Speaker C: Oh, I see. So we have to find a way to communicate with her in the depths.
[00:09:59] Speaker E: Yeah. Again, that's for next session, so. But yeah, that. That is what I would think. And that gives us an opportunity to approach Gully's End by land, maintaining the narrative that we were on a funeral cruise and it crashed and so now we're. We're extra. More nahi.
And we can investigate the situation in Gully's End, I. E.
One of the nature of the. The forces and the incident. The castle there, the palace. What you got over there in the gal pathway is a castle or a palace.
[00:10:40] Speaker B: Or.
[00:10:41] Speaker E: Or is it something that. Like a man.
[00:10:45] Speaker B: You got a little sassy there, Roscoe with a little bird cage.
[00:10:50] Speaker D: I had trouble understanding Roscoe's accent in character.
[00:10:58] Speaker B: Think back to when Will said a lot of this.
[00:11:04] Speaker A: Well, that's what. Yeah, that Will would say. Like, that's what I was trying to say. Like, you know, I don't think that we should take this creature all the way to the mouth of the river at all. Like, I know that she said that she can do that, but I. I don't think that that should happen. And yeah, plus the fact that we are waiting for other people to do their end of the thing that you guys actually don't know about Roscoe and Rafina, so maybe it's time to just tell them about that bathwack. But yeah, like, there are possibly people. Oh, he's leaving.
[00:11:38] Speaker E: As Alex walks away.
[00:11:39] Speaker A: As he walks away.
[00:11:41] Speaker C: Sorry, it's my fault. I asked him to turn off the dryer because I was worried that you were going to hear it later when you. I know, I'm sorry.
[00:11:49] Speaker E: But so, yes, so, yes, I. I agree with. With what Will was saying, and I think that, that. So how long would it take us to get just to that point that Northwestern, it's not quite a. Like, it's not a peninsula.
[00:12:05] Speaker B: I mean, you could point there from here kind of off in the distance.
I could get there about day.
[00:12:21] Speaker D: Oh, we can probably see it.
[00:12:25] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:12:29] Speaker C: And then dusk. Are you willing to wait? How much time do you have?
[00:12:36] Speaker B: My time is for the king.
Yeah.
[00:12:44] Speaker E: You don't have anywhere to be?
You don't have anything on your sketch?
[00:12:50] Speaker B: No.
[00:12:52] Speaker E: Oh, God, that is depressing.
[00:12:56] Speaker C: Sounds pretty good to me.
[00:12:57] Speaker B: Were depressed by me before.
[00:13:06] Speaker A: Anyway. Yeah. Like. But I tried to say before, Alex. You didn't get to hear it, but I was trying to say that, like, Roscoe and Rafina haven't heard because we. We didn't actually say the whole thing to them about the fact that we're sending Trofast away and hopefully getting some allies via land.
So it's probably a good time to share that.
[00:13:33] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:13:34] Speaker A: So you know that. Yeah, there is. I mean, how long do you think that would take? Bathwack, you're the one that knows this region.
Roll a thing. I'm sure. Because none of us know anything.
[00:13:47] Speaker D: You mean, how long would it take for us to.
For us to find them?
[00:13:52] Speaker A: Well, for Trofa. How long do we think it'll take Trofast to go and contact whoever you were talking about and meet us?
[00:14:02] Speaker D: Probably longer than we've been traveling.
[00:14:05] Speaker A: Right. Because it's been, like, 12 hours.
[00:14:07] Speaker D: It's been.
[00:14:08] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:14:09] Speaker A: Like. Like, we just got in this small amount of time.
[00:14:12] Speaker D: We got on this ship and took off.
[00:14:14] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:14:14] Speaker D: And now we're gonna get on a giant eyeball and take off, right?
[00:14:18] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:14:19] Speaker B: The morning after you got on the boat.
[00:14:21] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:14:21] Speaker A: So we'll just need to join a little fishing community or something when we get to wherever we're gonna go and just lay low for a while. That's what I was saying. That's what I was trying to say before I was gonna need to. We're gonna wait.
[00:14:33] Speaker D: We're gonna show up. We're gonna get killed. We're gonna have our bodies hung out in the capital, and, like, four weeks later, trophy is gonna show.
[00:14:43] Speaker A: Right? Exactly. Like, it doesn't, like, into this magic land.
[00:14:47] Speaker B: Like, it reminds me of the end of the part that we're about to discuss in our PFD book club.
[00:14:53] Speaker E: I still have to read the. The last chapter.
[00:14:56] Speaker C: Me too.
No, no spoilers.
[00:15:03] Speaker A: But, yeah, dm. Like, as the person who's in control of, like, how far away things are from each other and everything. Like. And how, like, we. We don't know. How long would it take a king to send a subject somewhere and for that sub. In this magical world that you have made with D D rules and magic spells, I have no idea. If Trofast has to give magic, like, do we think if we get here in a day, we're gonna have to camp out for two weeks? For five days?
[00:15:36] Speaker B: I would say more like five days.
[00:15:39] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:15:42] Speaker B: Why have we been in such a hurry?
[00:15:44] Speaker A: Options. Because I said it out loud. I could have said I was gonna.
[00:15:48] Speaker B: Say about a week total, so I think that kind of fits, actually. Total, you dick.
[00:15:55] Speaker D: We could just go. Go out to the sea and try to find an island.
Settle down.
[00:16:01] Speaker C: We're on an island.
[00:16:02] Speaker B: Got one.
[00:16:04] Speaker A: Exactly. Wet, sticky one, though. Slippery one.
Didn't give us diseases. Probably. Probably has sea lice.
[00:16:13] Speaker D: It's a dry wetness.
[00:16:15] Speaker C: It's a dry wetness. It's very good.
[00:16:20] Speaker A: Tacky.
[00:16:22] Speaker C: It's easier to push our enemies off if it's slippery.
No, not an appeal.
[00:16:29] Speaker B: Home court advantage. Get used to traversing the. The sclera.
[00:16:34] Speaker A: No.
[00:16:35] Speaker B: So that way, whenever you have a home game here, the away team has to go on.
[00:16:46] Speaker D: Oh, we got to get the air hockey set off of the ship.
[00:16:49] Speaker A: Oh, yeah.
[00:16:51] Speaker D: We can leave the table. We can leave the table. We just need the pucks and the things you hit the pucks with.
[00:16:57] Speaker C: Rafina gets some clean linens from the closet in the captain's quarters. They're very nice linens. They're jersey sheets.
[00:17:08] Speaker B: 200 thread count.
Do you try to get the piano out?
[00:17:15] Speaker C: I do. Shove it and see if it will. If it rolls.
[00:17:19] Speaker B: If anybody cares to see that, they can see that.
[00:17:23] Speaker A: Okay, if that, if that, if that. Because I was getting alcohol from the captain's quarter. So if I'm in there and she's trying to move a piano through half of a ship, apparently. I don't know where you think you're gonna take it.
[00:17:36] Speaker C: Out.
[00:17:36] Speaker B: Out.
[00:17:37] Speaker A: The exit of the hole that just you want to dump. Okay, Rafini, you want to push this piano into the ocean, or are you trying to get it somewhere?
[00:17:45] Speaker C: I'm just curious if it moves, because maybe it will be useful.
[00:17:48] Speaker A: You want to take the piano on the eyeball island?
[00:17:52] Speaker C: Who knows? Maybe it floats.
[00:17:55] Speaker A: I don't know. Will doesn't know how to move a piano, but if Rafina is kind of moving it, I'll pass.
[00:18:00] Speaker B: Who calls piano movers?
[00:18:04] Speaker D: This is all so that the prophecy can be fulfilled that the king will return paddling on a grand piano.
[00:18:14] Speaker A: Amazing.
Will will cast dimension door and push the piano through the hole onto the island. If I can. If is. If that is a small enough distance.
[00:18:29] Speaker B: Yeah, it is.
[00:18:30] Speaker A: Okay, cool. All right. I'll push your piano if you will help me. I don't know how to Move a.
[00:18:34] Speaker C: Piano, you just push.
[00:18:36] Speaker A: We tell Bathwack to move the piano through the store.
[00:18:39] Speaker D: We can make a sick music video on this eye.
When we get up to speed, you get the wind blowing through our hair.
[00:18:48] Speaker B: At, like, these 360 drone shots of someone playing the piano right in the center of the eye with the eye below it.
[00:18:54] Speaker D: Yeah. And the purple iris.
You know, the size of the logo in the middle of a football field is going to be like looking all around.
[00:19:06] Speaker A: Wow.
Wow.
[00:19:09] Speaker D: Now we just need music.
[00:19:10] Speaker C: So what happens with the piano? Does it actually go?
[00:19:14] Speaker B: Yeah, you push it through the hole. It's a little bit of a rough dismount, and it comes to rest on the scrubby bush edge of the can.
[00:19:32] Speaker C: I say that I took some of the drinking vessels and put them into the piano before we pushed it up.
[00:19:39] Speaker B: Yeah, if you don't want to carry them, sure.
[00:19:42] Speaker C: I don't. I want to put them in the piano. It's my new terrarium.
[00:19:45] Speaker B: Great.
[00:19:45] Speaker C: The old terrarium's going in the ocean.
[00:19:47] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:19:48] Speaker C: It's old news.
I'm kidding.
[00:19:50] Speaker A: It's, like, sentient, too.
[00:19:52] Speaker B: Yeah. You see Rafina holding it underwater? Drowning it.
[00:19:57] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
[00:19:59] Speaker B: Thrashing about.
[00:20:00] Speaker A: Oh, shit, that's terrible. That's the worst.
[00:20:02] Speaker B: One second, guys.
[00:20:04] Speaker A: Aw.
All right.
[00:20:07] Speaker C: Well, my poor terrarium. My heart just lurched.
[00:20:09] Speaker B: Yeah, that's right.
[00:20:12] Speaker A: All right. I mean, I. I think I said before that I was grabbing blankets and stuff and Mo wanted pieces of wood. I have no idea what to do, but I'm grabbing pieces of wood and throwing them down, depending on what he says, whether they're too small or too big. And big pieces I tried to make lean, too. Okay. I try to get big pieces of wood for. For Mo, and I get the alcohol from the captain's quarters, and that's what I sweet. Have gotten.
[00:20:40] Speaker B: Roscoe, do you make any requests from your friends, or are you gonna clamber back up there yourself or.
[00:20:49] Speaker E: No requests.
[00:20:51] Speaker B: Just leave it all behind. That was another life.
[00:20:55] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:20:55] Speaker A: Can I search through the ca. If, like, you know, going back to my roots, I'll just look through the captain's quarters and see what kind of money this guy's got in here. If everyone's just taking stuff out and nobody's looking for money, I might as well just poke around.
[00:21:09] Speaker B: It could be an investigation check.
[00:21:11] Speaker A: All right. I mean, like, that's what I feel like. It's like a casual thing. Like, listen, this knowing that I don't have access to all of my bank accounts currently, and bathwack Keeps spending all my money. What was that? Sorry, who?
[00:21:25] Speaker C: Just.
[00:21:25] Speaker B: I didn't mean to beep you. I was trying to change windows and it beeped.
[00:21:30] Speaker A: What'd you say?
[00:21:30] Speaker C: Oh, I see. Weird.
[00:21:32] Speaker B: It was. It's a sound on my soundboard. 10.
[00:21:35] Speaker A: Can I roll a few?
[00:21:38] Speaker B: Just roll until you get a good number. Yeah, like Harvey playing disc golf.
[00:21:42] Speaker A: I'm gonna do my.
I'm gonna do my bend. Look, I'm doing it, so I add that to it. A1, an11 is what I got. Ridiculous.
Thanks.
[00:22:00] Speaker B: You.
You don't find any, like, obvious stashes of cash or anything like that.
The map table in the middle of the room has a nice map on top. You can maybe pry that up if you want. A nice Six Rivers map.
[00:22:15] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, I'll get that. That's a smart thing.
[00:22:20] Speaker B: There's that guy who's obsessed with maps back in your.
Back in Tivoli that you always had do the minutes in any of your meetings.
[00:22:32] Speaker A: No, more like we're in the middle of the ocean and I'm like, where are we?
[00:22:36] Speaker B: I'm talking about Jark Messen.
[00:22:37] Speaker A: Oh, Jark Messen. Oh, he's from.
[00:22:39] Speaker B: That guy.
[00:22:39] Speaker A: Love maps.
[00:22:41] Speaker C: The minutes.
[00:22:41] Speaker B: He did your minutes for all your meetings that you would ever have.
[00:22:44] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:22:45] Speaker C: Jark. Good old Jark. Grateful for Jark Jark.
[00:22:49] Speaker B: What D and D creature is Jark Messen? Is he a human Jark Messen?
Who do you have in charge of your.
[00:22:59] Speaker C: He's a giant eyeball.
[00:23:01] Speaker B: Your record keeping.
[00:23:02] Speaker A: He's like a. He's a. He's whatever the Doctor who aliens are. That's what he is. He's. He reminded me of, like, David Tenant when he did his little video with the cute. A Time Lord. He's a Time Lord. Okay, makes sense.
[00:23:20] Speaker C: Perfect.
[00:23:21] Speaker B: Shark mess in the Time Lord back in Tivoli.
[00:23:24] Speaker A: Oh, wow. This is real.
[00:23:26] Speaker B: Okay, yeah, I wrote it down.
It'll be in the Wiki, too.
This isn't a joke. This is canon.
[00:23:34] Speaker A: Okay, Jark missing the Time Lord.
[00:23:42] Speaker B: All right, so you rip the map off the table. You got a piano, bedding, pieces of wood, alcohol. Did I miss anything? Anybody?
[00:23:54] Speaker A: What about, like, pillows? Rafina, what about pillows?
[00:23:58] Speaker C: Oh, I.
We don't actually sleep, but.
[00:24:02] Speaker E: And we're only riding this thing for a day now.
[00:24:05] Speaker A: 24 hours of standing on an island. Roscoe. Adam, I know you're tired.
[00:24:11] Speaker B: Get the adirondack chairs.
[00:24:12] Speaker A: You're 80, aren't you? Here's we do.
[00:24:15] Speaker C: We lie in a circle, and each of us puts our stomach Our head on the next person's stomach. And then if we start giggling, then we'll have this fun laughing circle where our guests keep bumping Roscoe.
[00:24:30] Speaker A: Do you hear her?
[00:24:32] Speaker B: I got Will's tummy.
[00:24:35] Speaker A: No.
[00:24:38] Speaker B: I like a firm pillow.
[00:24:42] Speaker A: Oh, my God. What the does that mean?
[00:24:45] Speaker B: Have you seen that guy's abs? He's ripped, right? I think word is God.
[00:24:52] Speaker A: Yes, exactly. Word is emaciated.
Okay, so I throw a pillow down, and it hits Rafina in the head. Sorry. I'm not really sorry, though. Rafina.
[00:25:05] Speaker C: Rafina's out. Flat.
[00:25:07] Speaker B: Dead.
[00:25:09] Speaker C: The pillow was full of.
[00:25:10] Speaker B: Get the diamond.
[00:25:13] Speaker A: Roscoe's wandering across the football field. He's not collecting anything, just throwing pillows after him.
[00:25:19] Speaker E: Is there. Isn't there, like, a space on the.
Is there enough space to just inflate Rudy and not worry about the eye blinking underneath him?
[00:25:30] Speaker B: Yeah, there's enough of a rim for you guys to camp out. There's no.
There's no electric hookup or waste the rim.
[00:25:39] Speaker E: What is this Pacific Rim?
[00:25:42] Speaker B: That's a pretty Pacific joke.
[00:25:47] Speaker E: Yeah, it's also, like, especially if we're gonna be dropped off on land, then it's basically like we have to transport Rudy.
We'll go up to land, and we'll just drive right off. Yeah, that's great.
[00:25:58] Speaker B: Pretty sick.
[00:26:01] Speaker E: Okay, but who's gonna. Okay, somebody's gotta do, like, a bit, right from inside Rudy, act like you're, like, getting it on in there and take your hand and kind of, like, run it down the window.
[00:26:20] Speaker B: Why?
[00:26:23] Speaker E: Well, this is just. It's. These are. It's, you know, these are the things that are done.
[00:26:31] Speaker C: Okay, but it's not gonna be me.
[00:26:34] Speaker E: Rafina, you're the one who's been talking about Dusk's dick all day.
[00:26:39] Speaker C: Is that where you're gonna put. Dusk's dick? Is in your rutabaga?
Rafina has a stroke.
[00:26:51] Speaker E: A stroke of what?
[00:26:54] Speaker B: Oh, oh, oh. Everybody, it's us, I think. Then.
[00:26:57] Speaker A: Oh, shoot.
[00:26:58] Speaker B: When everybody.
[00:26:59] Speaker A: Oh, sorry. We really froze.
[00:27:01] Speaker C: Oh, weird.
[00:27:02] Speaker B: We had a hiccup.
[00:27:03] Speaker A: Yeah, that was weird. Everybody froze. Sorry. It was us for sure.
[00:27:06] Speaker C: Because, everybody, it's been really windy. I wonder if it's the wind somehow.
[00:27:10] Speaker E: So, yes, Roscoe will. Will go to the rim, and he'll.
I'll sit down, Rudy. And he'll.
And he'll say that the magic words. The magic voids. Crucifer me cruciferous.
Rudy, won't you transport us?
Look, it's Rudy with his big, googly eyes.
[00:27:38] Speaker C: Were you cramped up in that necklace? Rudy. I guess you can't talk to me.
Well, why can't we sleep in Rudy?
[00:27:53] Speaker A: I don't want to. I'm not. We're not sleeping. We keep reminding each other that. I love that. We all keep saying that.
Yeah. But also, I don't want to sit inside the rutabago more than I have to.
[00:28:06] Speaker B: Like, why not, Will?
[00:28:09] Speaker A: Why not? I mean, I. I want my own private space. I have an. You guys can do that if you want. Go ahead. But we've been doing that for days on the regular land. Do you remember that?
[00:28:20] Speaker B: Yeah, it was great.
[00:28:21] Speaker A: Oh, God, Jamie, Jimmy.
[00:28:25] Speaker E: Even. Even I, the owner of Rudy. Must say you're being kind of obtuse.
[00:28:31] Speaker D: What?
[00:28:32] Speaker B: I thought we had a great time in there. Wil was teaching me how to read. We were cruising down the road, remember we listened to that magical audio broadcast that was somewhat meta slash self aware.
We're good. All right.
So is it time to go?
[00:28:59] Speaker A: Yes. Let's go.
[00:29:00] Speaker C: Hooray. And Rafina goes on the piano.
[00:29:06] Speaker B: Is it in tune?
[00:29:08] Speaker C: No, because we just moved it into the ocean.
[00:29:12] Speaker A: Yeah, it went through a cruise ship crash and a dimension. Door smash.
You said it didn't smoothly go onto the island.
[00:29:20] Speaker B: Door smash. It did.
[00:29:22] Speaker A: The door smash.
[00:29:23] Speaker C: I love it. And also I have some drinking vessels in the.
Under the lid. So those are knocking up against the strings and the hammers are making everything all crunchy. So it's a cacophony.
[00:29:37] Speaker B: All right, all right. So you all feel the ground, question mark shift beneath your feet as the eye begins to move towards that point on the distant north east horizon.
As the Dusk queen predicted, the front half of the cruise ship starts to shift and groan as the eye begins to move.
And eventually it grinds off of the edge of the islet and into the water. And you soon leave it behind as it slowly sinks into the depths.
[00:30:21] Speaker A: Did Gnar or Reid need anything or are we leaving them behind too?
[00:30:26] Speaker B: They're sinking too.
[00:30:27] Speaker A: Yeah. Are they sinking too? Cuz they didn't ask for anything. Like, did they need help or anything? No, they're good.
[00:30:34] Speaker B: I mean, my king healed me, so that should be enough for me for weirdo sometime.
[00:30:40] Speaker A: Wait, wait, wait. This guy knows you. Wait a second. All right? Wait a second. Did Nar hear everything this island said too? Wait a second. What's going on? Who knows what at this point?
[00:30:52] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:30:53] Speaker C: Maybe it's time for us to figure out what our story, our unified story will be.
[00:31:00] Speaker A: I think maybe we need to leave a couple people in the ocean as we float Away.
[00:31:05] Speaker B: Are you talking about me?
Says Nar.
[00:31:09] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:31:13] Speaker B: I could tell you you're not a big fan of me.
[00:31:16] Speaker A: I don't care. Congratulations on not drowning in the ocean.
[00:31:22] Speaker B: Thanks for proving my point.
[00:31:25] Speaker A: I look at Rafina, like, I roll my eyes, and I look at Rafina like she'd totally be on my side for no reason, but, like, this guy. Ugh.
[00:31:37] Speaker C: Rafina. What does Rafina do in response? Rafina's picking seashells out of the piano, I guess.
Not paying any attention.
[00:31:49] Speaker A: Yeah, that's perfect. I. I like. I look. I think somebody will be on my side, and nobody's looking at me, and.
[00:31:54] Speaker C: I'm like, nope, totally ignoring you.
[00:31:57] Speaker A: Yeah. What? What do you want now? We're on an island. What do you want? Go.
[00:32:01] Speaker B: I want to make sure you're not gonna push me into the ocean.
[00:32:04] Speaker A: Oh, God. Will somebody else push him in the ocean, please? I walk away.
[00:32:08] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:32:08] Speaker A: Oh, no, Mo. Don't really push him in the. It's fine. Just let him sleep under a bush or whatever. I brought all this other crap. You can make something out of it. And I put the pumpkin on the ground, my necklace thing, and I say whatever the heck I'm supposed to. Oh, pompeon. And then I walk into my tent.
It's a fabulous gesture at all the crap that I brought and I threw to Mo.
[00:32:32] Speaker B: All the wood scraps.
[00:32:33] Speaker A: And I look at gnar like this right before, like, welcome. There. There you go. You're welcome.
[00:32:39] Speaker C: Rafina knocks on the tent flap, which is exactly what Will said not to do.
[00:32:44] Speaker A: Like, immediately when I go in there.
[00:32:46] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:32:47] Speaker C: Will. Will. Will. Hey, Will. Will, Let me ask you something.
[00:32:50] Speaker A: Will.
[00:32:50] Speaker E: Can I come in?
Will. Nigh the sight guy.
[00:32:59] Speaker C: Will. But, Will, can we keep the piano in here? I think it's less humid. What?
It'll add some nice atmosphere.
[00:33:08] Speaker A: I don't know how to play the piano. Why do you mean, exactly?
[00:33:12] Speaker C: Yeah, it'll be safe from anyone trying to fuss with it.
[00:33:16] Speaker A: Keep the piano out there. Play some tunes for everyone to get drunk to.
[00:33:21] Speaker C: I'll put.
[00:33:22] Speaker A: I'll put one of the bottles that I got outside of the door.
[00:33:25] Speaker C: It won't take up a lot of space.
[00:33:29] Speaker A: Rafina, why do you want this piano in my tent, then? You can't play it because it's my tent.
[00:33:35] Speaker C: Well, I want to keep it safe for now.
[00:33:40] Speaker A: What do you. So I have to wheel it in and out a bunch of times over the next 24 hours. What do you want me to do? Let's hear a tune on it. Let's See how good in good shape it is already? I put my hand like this. I'm sticking out the door. Just. Just my head in my hand.
[00:33:56] Speaker C: Your ear. That's exactly why we need to keep it in there. Because it's temperature controlled. No one else is allowed in. We can protect it until I can take it to a piano wizard.
[00:34:08] Speaker A: Wait, you're gonna carry this piano?
Wow. Wait a second. I dimension tore this piano onto this island so that you could play the piano on the island, not so we could wheel it across six rivers.
[00:34:21] Speaker C: You're gonna let it sink?
[00:34:23] Speaker A: Sure. Why?
[00:34:24] Speaker C: I've already named it.
[00:34:26] Speaker A: Oh, no. It's not alive. Rafina. It doesn't have legs. It can't walk like the terrarium.
[00:34:31] Speaker C: It does have legs. It has three legs.
[00:34:34] Speaker A: It has three legs. Did one of them get broken off?
Oh, is it a grand piano? I forgot. Yeah, it does have three legs. The grand pianos. Right.
[00:34:44] Speaker B: Did I ever say it was a grand piano?
[00:34:46] Speaker C: Oh, I. Oh, I keep thinking it was. I think you should say it was an upright.
[00:34:50] Speaker A: Is that the square kind?
[00:34:51] Speaker B: Yeah. Like I was picturing a Casio.
[00:34:56] Speaker A: A key. What's a guitar?
[00:35:02] Speaker B: I was picturing the town of Plano, Texas.
[00:35:05] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:35:09] Speaker C: Well, just for now, Will. Just for now. Just for now.
[00:35:11] Speaker A: I want to roll insight. Is there something in this piano? I start pulling on the top. Like, did you put something in this? It's gonna jump out when it gets in here.
[00:35:20] Speaker B: You're a drug.
[00:35:21] Speaker A: Why are you trying to push this piano into my tent?
[00:35:24] Speaker B: It's full of mugs.
[00:35:26] Speaker A: It's full of mugs.
[00:35:30] Speaker B: Steins and. And highball glasses and martini glasses and.
[00:35:37] Speaker A: Is anyone gonna help me? I. Look, I'm calling out to Bathwacker. Is anyone around? Somebody gonna help me? Rafina's very attached to this piano. She thinks she's gonna take it all the way to Gully's End. Hey, I do something about it. Except nice. Rafina's nice. Don't do anything to Rafina.
[00:35:55] Speaker C: Her name is not I. Her name is Dusk. And maybe she appreciates some music when it's in tune and properly cared for.
[00:36:05] Speaker A: But I can't do any of those things in my tent.
[00:36:09] Speaker B: I don't think I should get.
[00:36:26] Speaker C: Well, I really think it's going to add a nice je ne sais quoi to the interior of your beautiful tent. And then we can just take it. Like, it'll probably just still magically be there when you close up your tent. And we won't have to dimension door it everywhere.
[00:36:44] Speaker A: This is what you really want. You want my tent to be a storage place for this sandy piece of garbage? No, thank you.
Fine. Then I let him push it in.
[00:36:56] Speaker C: Rafina opens the tent flap and shoves the piano in.
[00:37:03] Speaker A: Thank you. Thank you.
[00:37:05] Speaker C: The piano says thank you.
[00:37:06] Speaker A: I'm gonna wait until she walks away. I'm just gonna push it out.
[00:37:08] Speaker C: Her name is Georgia.
[00:37:11] Speaker A: Amazing. Okay.
[00:37:13] Speaker B: Are you. You said you're gonna wait till she leaves and then maybe later at night.
[00:37:17] Speaker A: I gotta wait?
Yeah. I'll wait until it gets darker. You can't see. You're gonna come across this piano tonight out in on the beach.
All right. It's in my tent.
[00:37:29] Speaker B: You leave a single F sharp key on her pillow if you want the rest.
[00:37:35] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:37:36] Speaker B: You give in to my demands.
[00:37:39] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:37:42] Speaker B: So. Yeah. The. The eye is moving steadily towards the peninsula in the distance.
The seagulls are flying overhead.
The air is blowing around you. You're out at sea, but just on an island.
[00:38:05] Speaker A: Is it like.
[00:38:07] Speaker B: No, it's not that fast. No, it's not like. It's not like this thing has.
[00:38:12] Speaker A: Does Moe's lean to stay up?
[00:38:14] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:38:14] Speaker A: Really?
[00:38:15] Speaker B: Yeah. It's a steady, slow movement.
[00:38:20] Speaker A: Nice.
[00:38:20] Speaker B: Yeah. So the day passes.
You all try to make yourselves as comfortable as you can.
[00:38:29] Speaker C: So we hear those birds calling. Right?
[00:38:31] Speaker D: Set up a pickleball net.
[00:38:34] Speaker A: We gotta have a beach party. That's pretty sweet. We have a piano.
[00:38:38] Speaker C: That's right. If will doesn't kill it.
So we hear those birds overhead. And Rafina says to dusk. You know what those are?
Those are bagels.
Waka waka bagels.
[00:38:57] Speaker B: I thought they were. See, it's a joke.
Oh.
Because they're gulls in my pa.
[00:39:18] Speaker C: This is like the scene at the DMV in Sloth. Zootopia.
[00:39:24] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:39:28] Speaker C: Okay. Goodbye.
[00:39:31] Speaker B: I'm still here.
And so are you.
[00:39:40] Speaker A: Nice.
[00:39:45] Speaker B: Gnar and Kik try to build some sort of a shelter. Lean to with the scraps of wood. And they're moderately successful.
[00:39:53] Speaker C: Gnar and kick or Nar and mo.
[00:39:55] Speaker B: Nar and mo.
[00:39:56] Speaker A: Oh. Okay.
[00:39:57] Speaker D: I'm being bat biked for a little while.
[00:39:59] Speaker B: Yeah. Reid comes up to you and says, my lord, my liege, my king.
Thank you again for sparing me. I owe my life to you. Can I help you in your quest to whatever you're doing in Gully's End. I don't remember what I heard.
[00:40:24] Speaker A: About.
[00:40:27] Speaker D: I. I don't know if we wanted. Well, do we want to do this now?
[00:40:31] Speaker B: I.
I mean, I asked you. We. We can wait if you want. I guess.
[00:40:39] Speaker D: I. I'm a Little. Well, I'm a little suspicious of this guy now because of what Will said.
[00:40:44] Speaker A: Oh, what did I say?
[00:40:45] Speaker C: What did Will say?
[00:40:46] Speaker D: I don't know. I will at least put the idea that, like, this guy could be anyone.
[00:40:53] Speaker A: Yay. I'm so good at that.
[00:40:56] Speaker B: Sowing doubt and suspicion into a fellow man.
[00:40:59] Speaker A: Exactly.
[00:41:01] Speaker B: Squashing any innocence anyone may harbor deep in their soul.
[00:41:04] Speaker A: There are no innocent acts in this world.
We're all just scraping to be at the top. Always Reed Thorin.
[00:41:13] Speaker B: Always look for motive.
[00:41:14] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly.
Anyway, that voice passes through your head as Reid is trying to be really respectful and kind to you.
[00:41:22] Speaker D: Yeah.
I cast Zone of Truth on him and we have a little talk.
[00:41:29] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:41:29] Speaker C: Does he. Does he.
He rolls, right?
[00:41:34] Speaker B: You cast it and he willingly fails? Whatever. Resistance or whatever. I don't know. He doesn't. He fails intentionally.
[00:41:45] Speaker D: Okay.
Oh, that's a good sign.
So who are you?
[00:41:57] Speaker B: You know, I'm. I'm Reed. Wait, do you.
[00:42:00] Speaker D: I know you forget, I know your name. Yes, I know your name. Yeah, I know you're on the ship.
[00:42:05] Speaker B: I mean, I. I grew up in.
In Gully's End. I made my way.
I found myself on this ship to, you know, make a name for myself. It was a. Seemed like a well paying job.
The captain was nice and kind. I mean, he got a little erratic there near the end. I think the loss of his pet really did a number on him.
I mean, what. Is there something specific you would like to know?
[00:42:50] Speaker D: And why do you want to help me?
[00:42:54] Speaker B: You're my king, are you not?
[00:43:03] Speaker D: I wish Will was here.
Will come get me.
[00:43:07] Speaker B: He just said, well, you hear? That's why call for you.
[00:43:10] Speaker A: And I'm ignoring that, of course. What do you think, I'm just gonna come to you if you just call my name? I'm just kidding.
[00:43:18] Speaker B: As we just talked to our kids about improv and. Yes, and.
[00:43:22] Speaker A: I know, I know, that's why it's funny. No, I. Yeah, no, if I'm outside of the tent, then, yeah, sure, I'm walking around.
[00:43:30] Speaker B: You peeked out to see if you could push the piano.
[00:43:33] Speaker A: Yeah, I was looking out to see. See if any. Yeah. And he sees my face. He says, will I do the biggest eye roll ever? Because I see that it's this guy and he's like, what is he gonna say?
[00:43:42] Speaker B: Not the biggest eye roll ever.
[00:43:44] Speaker A: Okay. One of the biggest ey rolls ever. That's always what you could imagine. It's always better.
[00:43:48] Speaker B: Biggest eye roll would be now what would it be?
[00:43:52] Speaker C: It would be from dusk.
[00:43:55] Speaker A: Oh, From.
Thank you, Abby. I was like. Wait, what?
[00:44:00] Speaker C: I helped.
[00:44:01] Speaker A: Oh, that's amazing.
[00:44:02] Speaker C: Now you have to keep the piano.
[00:44:04] Speaker A: Oh, I wonder if we can get dusk to these.
[00:44:08] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:44:08] Speaker D: That was described as an eye roll to stern or an eye.
[00:44:14] Speaker A: Whoa.
All right. Yeah, big eye roll. And I, Paul Rudd, wet hot American summer, flop my way over to him, like.
[00:44:28] Speaker B: And then you cross the barrier of the zone of truth.
[00:44:31] Speaker A: Ah. Ew.
[00:44:33] Speaker B: Do you.
[00:44:34] Speaker A: Can I back up?
[00:44:34] Speaker B: Can I. Yeah, well, you could back up.
[00:44:37] Speaker A: I back up and get out of it.
[00:44:39] Speaker C: Hey.
[00:44:41] Speaker A: Hello, person.
[00:44:42] Speaker D: I. I'm just having a talk. Having a talk with Reed here.
[00:44:46] Speaker B: Yes, thank you again for. For saving me.
[00:44:49] Speaker A: Shut up. I didn't come over here for you.
[00:44:51] Speaker B: What?
[00:44:52] Speaker A: I don't know. I didn't come over here for you either. I gestured that. Why did I come over here?
[00:44:57] Speaker B: Why are you so mean right now?
[00:44:58] Speaker A: Why am I.
[00:44:59] Speaker B: Why?
[00:44:59] Speaker A: Why am I so mean right now? You clearly don't know me anyway, bathwack. What do you want to know? Why. What's the deal here? What, is this guy acting suspicious? Of course he is.
[00:45:09] Speaker D: No, I. I'm inclined to trust him, but I wondered if you wanted to ask him some questions.
[00:45:16] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:45:17] Speaker B: He's got me on within the bounds of some sort of spell.
[00:45:20] Speaker A: What do you know? Yeah, some sort of spell. It's disgusting, okay? But it's useful because you're not trustworthy. And what I want to know is what you know about our sister situation at first. You know, this man was dressed as.
[00:45:34] Speaker B: A. Yeah, the king was in disguise as a lowly fisherman.
[00:45:39] Speaker A: Oh, he knows it all. This is the guy. This is the guy that you were talking about, bathwack, huh? Okay, well, you're lucky that I didn't find you first.
Yeah, what an idiot. I.
[00:45:50] Speaker B: No, no, the king. Well, the king spared my life. He kept me alive.
[00:45:55] Speaker A: You. Great. Sure.
[00:45:57] Speaker D: He helped us lower the. The anti magic.
[00:46:01] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:46:02] Speaker D: On the ship.
[00:46:03] Speaker A: Okay, so he likes you. So what? What do you want to know?
[00:46:07] Speaker B: All right, Strike one.
[00:46:08] Speaker A: Yes, strike one. This guy's an idiot.
[00:46:11] Speaker B: Clearly no good judgment of character.
[00:46:14] Speaker A: All right, what do we need to know? Okay. Hey, buddy.
[00:46:17] Speaker B: Yes?
[00:46:19] Speaker A: Would you bail on your king here if there was a secret plan that we had going forward and somebody were to torture you? How well can you withstand torture?
[00:46:31] Speaker B: I honestly don't know. I've never been tortured.
[00:46:34] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. Let's try it. Mathwack, what do you think the thing is, like, the plan?
[00:46:39] Speaker D: I don't know. That's.
[00:46:45] Speaker A: Well, all I'm saying is I don't know what the plan is moving forward. Are we still going to try to get there pretending you're. You know, are we still doing that? I'm assuming if we're going to go to that point, whatever we're calling that point, and we still have to survive on land for a while, right? You're gonna be kick for a while.
[00:47:03] Speaker D: So if you maybe just him thrash some. Some ships on the way.
No, just kidding.
[00:47:10] Speaker A: Yeah, sure. I don't care. That sounds great to me.
But what I'm saying is, you know, we need to find out if this guy's actually loyal. Sure. He's. I mean, how do you do the truth? Oh, you're loyal. I mean, sure, you're loyal, but if under pressure.
[00:47:29] Speaker B: Who are you to the king?
[00:47:32] Speaker A: I'm the king's valet. I guess I look like.
I guess I turn myself into that.
[00:47:38] Speaker D: Just outside of the zone of truth.
[00:47:41] Speaker A: Yeah.
Yep. I suck my gut in.
[00:47:45] Speaker B: Right? You. You were going to say I'm the king's.
[00:47:47] Speaker A: That way was a little too close there.
I don't have a gut. I'm already a skeleton, I guess.
But yeah, yeah, we have like a thing going on and.
[00:48:02] Speaker B: Please, can I help?
[00:48:03] Speaker A: I don't know. Can he help Bathwack?
[00:48:07] Speaker D: Why? Why not? I mean, we're going to get many more people helping us.
[00:48:10] Speaker A: That's why. Is everyone going to help you just because you're a king? How good are you?
Look at.
[00:48:17] Speaker D: I mean, this guy Trofast, and then he turns to. You and Bernard are already helping us, right?
I mean, we need all the help we can get, right?
[00:48:31] Speaker A: Agreed. But we need good help, not crap help. Not, hey, yeah, I like my king help. And then he steps outside the zone of truth and he's like, phew, I'm so glad they didn't ask if I give up the plan in one millisecond, if somebody offered me cotton candy. You know what I'm saying?
Yeah. Well, I mean, I asked him what kind of torture.
[00:48:55] Speaker B: I'm not a big fan of cotton candy loopholes.
[00:48:57] Speaker D: Out is cotton candy.
[00:48:59] Speaker A: Here's some cotton candy.
[00:49:04] Speaker B: This cotton candy. Why are you fingernail removers?
[00:49:07] Speaker A: Why are you loyal?
[00:49:09] Speaker B: Well, this is my king.
[00:49:11] Speaker A: No, that's not. That's a reason. What the. Why just because somebody's a king, you're just loyal to them and that's it? No, like, fear of death or anything. What kind of laws does he. He's a good king. What kind of king is this guy? Now I'm looking at Bathwack the same way I was looking At Reed Thorin. Like, yeah, tell me all about this guy Reed.
[00:49:30] Speaker D: I'm a great king. I waggle my eyebrows that I don't.
[00:49:34] Speaker A: Have your eye ridges.
[00:49:39] Speaker B: I mean, I've not been in Gully's End for a number of years, but.
[00:49:44] Speaker A: How about that Bathwack? That's a little suspicious.
[00:49:48] Speaker B: I know that.
[00:49:49] Speaker A: Why would you leave that?
[00:49:49] Speaker B: Bathwhack and his line. King Bathwack and his line are well esteemed and right and just leaders.
[00:50:00] Speaker A: Okay, but what if I offered you a million?
[00:50:01] Speaker B: You must know that you're spending time with him.
[00:50:05] Speaker A: I must know that, Yes.
I look at Bathwagbag.
[00:50:12] Speaker B: My king, is this man troubling you?
[00:50:15] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Come and fight me, bro. Come on.
[00:50:18] Speaker B: Would you like me to do something about it?
[00:50:20] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Try.
Let's try this.
[00:50:23] Speaker C: He's got no weapons.
[00:50:26] Speaker A: You want to see me fight your loyal subject?
Come on. I make a little gesture like this. Come on.
[00:50:33] Speaker B: I'll come both.
[00:50:34] Speaker D: Both of you.
[00:50:35] Speaker B: My kid.
[00:50:35] Speaker D: Down. Guys, let's. Let's go for a swim.
[00:50:40] Speaker A: He just jumps in the water.
You see Mo immediately run by, so excited to go for a swim with Bat.
[00:50:52] Speaker B: He's gone.
[00:50:53] Speaker D: I don't know. I think this guy's okay.
[00:50:57] Speaker A: Yeah, he's okay. But what does that mean?
[00:51:01] Speaker D: I think we can trust him.
[00:51:03] Speaker B: I don't know if we can trust him.
[00:51:06] Speaker A: Sure Will.
[00:51:07] Speaker D: Will always tells the truth. I mean, except when he told you he was. Never mind.
[00:51:13] Speaker A: That's part of a very important plan.
[00:51:16] Speaker B: So. So rope. Rope me in. Deal me in. What do we got?
My liege, what is my role in your plan?
[00:51:28] Speaker A: What if somebody offered you a million gold?
[00:51:31] Speaker B: Something trick put us in our paths together for a million gold? No.
[00:51:39] Speaker A: What about 2 million?
[00:51:40] Speaker B: No. No amount of gold or platinum or electrum or copper or silver. What about you? What would it take to buy your loyalty?
[00:51:49] Speaker A: I have enough. I don't need any temptation.
[00:51:52] Speaker B: What if you didn't? What if you were someone like me?
Then how much would it take?
[00:51:57] Speaker A: Oh, he's cutting me to the core, Bathwack. I don't think he's very nice. What about that?
[00:52:03] Speaker B: Well, clearly that's not a requirement for being close with the king.
[00:52:08] Speaker A: Okay, I kind of like you a little bit. But the thing is, I don't know how to actually know. Tell how loyal you are. Because it's weird that you moved out of Gully's End and.
[00:52:22] Speaker D: So you're just loyal again. Will sent his brother ahead into what's probably a really dangerous situation.
So we can trust Will?
[00:52:35] Speaker B: Well, I mean, we can trust Will's brother.
[00:52:38] Speaker A: Oh, you. I'll kill you right now. You know, easy.
[00:52:41] Speaker B: Are you saying we can't trust your brother?
[00:52:46] Speaker A: I sent my brother. I'm the one. You know what? I don't need to.
[00:52:49] Speaker B: You own your brother.
[00:52:51] Speaker A: All right. This guy Bathwick, all right, it's him or me.
[00:52:55] Speaker D: I. I dropped the ocean. I dropped the Zone of Truth.
[00:53:00] Speaker B: Some of my best brothers help the king.
[00:53:06] Speaker A: You.
Oh, this guy. Well, he does seem to be very loyal. He's talking to me, and he doesn't even know me.
[00:53:17] Speaker B: My liege, do you need a valet with more tact?
[00:53:22] Speaker C: Oh, he's gonna offer his services.
[00:53:27] Speaker A: Oh, Bathwack.
[00:53:32] Speaker B: You see, Bath, I think, considerable.
[00:53:34] Speaker A: I think we can.
[00:53:35] Speaker D: Let's all. Let's all work together.
And how about it?
[00:53:39] Speaker A: How about we work together, Reed?
[00:53:41] Speaker B: Okay, let's do it.
[00:53:42] Speaker D: Batback just walks away.
How fast are we going on this thing, by the way? Like, if I jump in the water and go for a swim, am I just going to be, like, completely left behind? Like, if you jump off of a.
[00:53:55] Speaker B: Cruise ship, you're like, yeah, dead.
[00:53:58] Speaker D: It just sails off without you.
[00:54:00] Speaker B: You can start at the front and make sure to get back on by the time the back comes around.
Water ski behind it.
[00:54:14] Speaker A: Yeah, sweet.
[00:54:15] Speaker D: I'm. I'm good with Reed. I'm good with Will. Bathwick walks off.
He's gonna go set up the pickleball net.
[00:54:22] Speaker B: I mean, not to speak ill about my king, but why would he trust you?
[00:54:28] Speaker A: Yeah, ask him. Sometimes. Why don't you go get your fill?
Dumb. You want to hear? It's not your place. Ew. Who are you? You just want to be a loyal subject to somebody your whole life? No, I'm loyal.
Okay. Hello. I. We just kind of revealed that I'm not actually really his valet. Right.
[00:54:48] Speaker B: Well, then who are you to him?
[00:54:53] Speaker A: I just do this.
Whatever. Some guy that he's traveling with and not. You're just some new guy he's traveling with on a giant eye. So, what have you earned? You left Gully's End.
[00:55:07] Speaker B: I'm not asking for anything. I want to help.
[00:55:11] Speaker A: That's suspicious. Nobody wants to help. For no money and no reason, you left.
[00:55:17] Speaker B: I've given you reasons.
[00:55:19] Speaker A: You love. You love Batwacks so much that you left Gully's End to go work on a weird ship.
[00:55:25] Speaker D: Maybe he wants Gully's End to be back how he remembers it. Bathrick shouts from the pickleball net.
[00:55:33] Speaker A: How he remembers it. Yeah. Was it. Did you leave? When. Wait, why don't you remember it?
[00:55:40] Speaker B: I mean, all this unrest.
[00:55:41] Speaker D: That's how Bathric wants it to be, right?
[00:55:43] Speaker A: How he remembers it.
[00:55:45] Speaker B: All this unrest that's been going on. I haven't really been close. I mean, I've been hearing about it.
[00:55:50] Speaker A: Yeah, well, Batwack got betrayed. And where have you been, huh? I've been traveling by his side.
[00:55:56] Speaker B: Where have you been? Were you there when he got betrayed? Why didn't you stop it from happening?
[00:56:01] Speaker A: Oh, good accusation. You have been gone for so long. I've been by his side for, like, six weeks or some dumb shit.
[00:56:11] Speaker D: It's like almost a semester.
[00:56:13] Speaker A: Yeah, including weekends. Almost a quarter of high school, not just business hours.
[00:56:21] Speaker B: Okay, we've seen four or five Friends episodes. Air.
[00:56:26] Speaker A: Yeah, whatever. Read Thorin.
[00:56:32] Speaker B: Whatever. Whatever your name is.
[00:56:34] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. You don't even know. So goodbye. I don't. I'm not going to argue about Bathwack anymore. This is lame. I look around to see if anyone's new Fast Friends.
Hope nobody heard any of that. Jeez.
[00:56:48] Speaker B: Guy's not gonna be valet for long.
[00:56:51] Speaker A: Whoa. Is that what he really says?
[00:56:53] Speaker B: Mutters under his breath.
[00:56:56] Speaker A: I hope not, I say as I walk away.
[00:56:59] Speaker B: Me too.
What's Bat. What's Roscoe doing?
[00:57:08] Speaker E: I think he's just hanging out in Rudy with Oscar.
[00:57:13] Speaker B: Yeah.
Got your mustard wall. Yeah.
[00:57:17] Speaker E: And we're moving, right?
[00:57:19] Speaker B: Yeah, we're moving.
[00:57:21] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:57:21] Speaker C: Breeze is blowing through our hair.
[00:57:23] Speaker E: Rascoe's taking it easy.
[00:57:25] Speaker B: Nice.
[00:57:26] Speaker C: We want to be resting up, Right? Oh, wait. What. What time of day is it? I thought it was night, but I don't actually know that it's daytime.
[00:57:34] Speaker B: The talent show occurred in the morning.
[00:57:36] Speaker C: Oh, of course.
[00:57:37] Speaker B: It was, like, first thing.
Yes, and then you were about to.
[00:57:41] Speaker C: Be evicted half an hour ago.
[00:57:42] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. It's. It's morning. Morning's here. The mornings here.
[00:57:47] Speaker C: Sunny.
[00:57:48] Speaker B: Yeah, like I said, the birds are flying overhead. You wouldn't. You wouldn't have heard this sound at night.
[00:57:55] Speaker C: Maybe you would.
[00:57:56] Speaker A: Yeah. I don't know. Do they ever call it night? Who knows?
[00:57:59] Speaker B: They don't, right?
[00:58:00] Speaker C: Dusty Night. Goal.
[00:58:04] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:58:05] Speaker B: Yeah. You're cruising off towards that peninsula. Off in the distance. The sun is shining down. Bathwack's playing pickleball. None of the rest of you know what Pickleball is playing by himself.
[00:58:18] Speaker C: He's jumping between the. Both sides, back and forth.
[00:58:22] Speaker D: I just have a pile. Just a giant pile of pickles from the kitchen on the ship in a ball. Thing of foil.
[00:58:30] Speaker A: Yeah, thing of foil.
[00:58:33] Speaker B: Just picture Bathwack with his hands Just trying to come press pickles into like a snowball. Nice juice shooting everywhere.
Reed Thorin keeps eyeing Will's tent suspiciously.
So does Gnar.
[00:58:48] Speaker A: Oh, they're just jealous of my tent.
[00:58:53] Speaker B: Mo is is practicing his swimming. He tries to see how long he can keep up with the eye, like swimming alongside of it.
And she's doing something. I don't know. But yeah, there's just a beautiful day out on the water. I mean, what could go wrong?
[00:59:14] Speaker C: What could possibly go wrong?
[00:59:16] Speaker B: Let's find out next time.
[00:59:19] Speaker A: We already crashed. We already.
[00:59:22] Speaker B: This is our crash into a bigger eye.
[00:59:24] Speaker D: We crash into a bigger, bigger eye.
[00:59:29] Speaker A: Oh my God. Jeez. We better just cruise on to the end of the campaign.
[00:59:35] Speaker D: At this point we're gonna find out that that dusk is like joy riding teenager. He's like out and we're gonna run into.
[00:59:45] Speaker E: Yeah, parents 100%.
[00:59:48] Speaker C: I see it happening.
[00:59:50] Speaker E: It's too bad that that moment earlier was joke when Eric was like, there is nobody my size. They're all bigger.
[00:59:58] Speaker A: Yeah, like that's like.
[01:00:00] Speaker E: That is awesome.
[01:00:02] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean the funny thing is like you all you did say canonically is at least there is nobody my size. So maybe there are bigger ones.
[01:00:10] Speaker C: Oh, geez.
[01:00:12] Speaker A: They just can't fit all where all he was saying all the eyes were popping up if they were bigger.
[01:00:16] Speaker B: Each of the river states is its own shrimp.
And the rivers are the. The poop vein that runs along the back that you can pull out before you eat.
[01:00:26] Speaker C: Why don't you say the poop vein?
[01:00:28] Speaker A: Poop vein. The black strip at the back of.
[01:00:30] Speaker C: A shrimp that you gotta remember industri. The. What is the word? Intestine.
[01:00:34] Speaker A: Yeah. Poop vein. Abby, don't you have a poop vein in your body? I have to go empty my poop vein.
[01:00:41] Speaker B: Sorry, I'm not a doctor.
[01:00:43] Speaker A: Sorry.
[01:00:44] Speaker B: I use layman's terms.
Oh my gosh.
[01:00:50] Speaker A: Oh my God. How many listeners out there call their. Their intestines poop veins. I hope it's all.
[01:00:56] Speaker C: Well, they will actually.
[01:00:57] Speaker A: That's what we all have in common.
[01:00:58] Speaker B: It's gonna be a page on the Wiki. Poop vein.
[01:01:01] Speaker C: Poop vein.
[01:01:02] Speaker B: What non doctors call intestines poop vein.
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