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Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hey, all you sexy people looking for sexy times.
[00:00:03] Speaker B: Did you know that if you support Pork Fried Dice on KO Fi, you can get access to exclusive secret behind the scenes goodies and art?
[00:00:13] Speaker A: Just head over to tinyurl.com supportpfd plus.
[00:00:18] Speaker B: If you support us, Bathwhack will kiss you right on the lips.
[00:00:33] Speaker A: You're listening to the show about smoochin'it's. Pork Fried Dice.
I'm Eric and I'm the dungeon master.
[00:00:44] Speaker C: I'm Abby and I play Rafina.
[00:00:47] Speaker A: I'm Alex and I play Batwack.
[00:00:50] Speaker B: I'm KT and I play Will.
[00:00:54] Speaker D: I'm Adam and I play Roscoe.
[00:00:59] Speaker A: Hold on to your haversacks. Let's roll.
[00:01:05] Speaker C: Have I told you all the birds that I see at my bird feeder?
[00:01:08] Speaker B: Oh, no.
[00:01:09] Speaker C: Yeah. So there's a buffalo head and a cinnamon rumped seed eater. No, these are all bad. AI, I have no idea.
[00:01:20] Speaker B: Buffalo head's like a duck. It is.
[00:01:23] Speaker C: I've even had a puffin, which is clearly a chickadee.
[00:01:28] Speaker A: That's ins.
[00:01:29] Speaker C: That's insanity. It's so much fun though. I love. I love seeing what it just got like a what? Like a ruffled duck or something? Like. Yeah. At my feet are eating finch food.
[00:01:40] Speaker A: I wanna, I wanna. I like to believe that it's the same thing of why, like, I don't know if you heard the news about Amazon shutting down their walk out, walk right out stores where you could just go in and pick the stuff up. They shut go out.
[00:01:52] Speaker B: Didn't those just start like.
[00:01:54] Speaker A: Yeah, pretty recently. It was. It was discovered that it was very expensive, but also it wasn't like it was people that were doing it. Like there were outsourced basically e cashiers watching people take stuff and ring them up.
[00:02:09] Speaker B: It was just sitting somewhere.
[00:02:10] Speaker A: Yeah, it was like a thousand outsourced people in India watching the video feeds and typing up the receipts.
[00:02:17] Speaker C: Yeah, definitely. What's happening with my bird?
[00:02:20] Speaker A: That's what it is. It's just someone frantically, frantically going through their dog eared Audubon copy.
[00:02:28] Speaker B: Holy moly.
[00:02:29] Speaker C: So great. I can't. I can't wait to get my first emu.
[00:02:32] Speaker B: I'm ready for it. But on that day, it'll be just an actual emu from a local farm. Just like looking into your bird meter.
[00:02:41] Speaker A: Then you disregard it. You don't even look.
[00:02:43] Speaker B: Yeah. You're like, whatever.
[00:02:44] Speaker A: There it is.
[00:02:47] Speaker C: Well, Alex said something genius when I told him I'd set up the video bird feeder. He's like, now we never have to.
[00:02:53] Speaker B: Look out the window again.
[00:02:57] Speaker C: We don't have to look out the window.
[00:02:59] Speaker B: We never have to do perfect. All right, I'm ready.
Oh, yeah. You're doing a recap. You. Yeah.
[00:03:06] Speaker A: Oh, wait.
[00:03:08] Speaker B: Yay.
Boring.
[00:03:12] Speaker C: I have done this. Oh, do you have to say your thing? Say it.
[00:03:14] Speaker A: Previously on Pork Fried Dice.
[00:03:16] Speaker B: I was like, do I. What do I have to say?
[00:03:18] Speaker A: Yeah, what were you gonna say? You do have to say something.
[00:03:20] Speaker B: I was just like, what? That's all I had to say. Did you just tell me I had something to say?
[00:03:25] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:03:25] Speaker B: Did you? Tell me I got something to say.
[00:03:28] Speaker A: I did.
[00:03:29] Speaker B: Well, I don't. What does Abby got to say?
[00:03:32] Speaker C: Here's what I got to say.
So I'm dedicating this recap to my husband, who has to do the next recap, and I'm making it very boring so that he feels encouraged and empowered to do whatever he wants for it.
[00:03:51] Speaker E: Like to meet that guy someday.
[00:03:53] Speaker C: I think you're the next recapper.
[00:03:55] Speaker B: Anyway, these information that is held private changes every episode, and I cannot keep up. Now they aren't married anymore. What the is happening?
I don't know how to keep track.
[00:04:09] Speaker C: Surprise listeners. All right, I'm gonna read this in an E or voice.
Yeah.
[00:04:16] Speaker E: Well, this is going to be really good. There's no way I'm going to be able to.
[00:04:19] Speaker C: No, it's not.
[00:04:20] Speaker E: Recap Next time.
[00:04:21] Speaker C: Oh, shut up. Okay, you ready?
[00:04:24] Speaker A: No.
[00:04:25] Speaker C: Get your pillows.
Will is in the water.
Bathwack pretends to dive in. Then he uses his rocket boots, and then his hydrofoil hoverboard.
Rafina tells Mo to jump in.
Mo jumps in.
Roscoe jumps in and then says, help.
It's a reference to Clarence the Angel.
Rafina jumps in and activates the parachute skirt. Oh, yeah, something about no sharks.
I don't remember.
Will is confused why we're there.
Batwack hands him a note with ink that doesn't run in the water.
Please note that Mo got no note.
Will recognizes Eldon's handwriting on the note.
He didn't tell anyone, of course.
The mustache of Will is wet and glistening.
[00:05:47] Speaker A: I'm so bored right now.
[00:05:51] Speaker C: It worked. Then we go back to the ship. And then we rest.
Yay.
The ship passengers.
Sorry. The ship passengers, passengers supposedly all got an invitation that says, you are cordially required to attend the talent show.
But they couldn't find Sue Broadmore to deliver one to.
And we don't know where Sean Indigo is.
Ferret Captain says don't worry about him.
That's odd.
In fact, the Only person who shows up is Gnar.
Gnar sings Anaria.
I mean, an aria.
He's pretty good.
Roscoe and Mo take the stage to introduce us one at a time, and I think we come off as underwhelming and possibly at risk of being thrown overboard, but we'll find out this time on pork floor fried.
[00:07:20] Speaker B: Good.
[00:07:22] Speaker D: Yay.
[00:07:25] Speaker C: Now we've really reset the st.
[00:07:27] Speaker B: Yes. Single clap. Yes.
[00:07:33] Speaker C: All right. I honestly, like, I wrote down something about team. Team building exercise. No sharks. And no one else had it in their notes either, so I don't know what that was. Rosco, do you remember?
[00:07:44] Speaker D: No, I. I don't. Wait, it rings a bell.
[00:07:50] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:07:51] Speaker D: I did not take good notes last time, so my notes. No.
[00:07:55] Speaker C: Well, KT always takes amazing notes, but I had my own.
[00:07:57] Speaker B: But I definitely also had big moments that I hadn't written anything. I know.
[00:08:01] Speaker D: That I just wrote Roscoe pulls a Clarence.
[00:08:05] Speaker B: That's it? That's your whole note?
[00:08:07] Speaker A: That was my only note.
It's more than I had.
[00:08:13] Speaker B: What did you write?
[00:08:14] Speaker A: Nothing.
[00:08:15] Speaker B: Nothing. Nice.
Were we like this at the end? Just, like, standing there and then like, that was finished?
[00:08:24] Speaker A: I think so, yeah.
[00:08:25] Speaker D: We have yet to receive our. Our judgment.
[00:08:28] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
[00:08:29] Speaker C: Is Gnar bored?
[00:08:31] Speaker B: Yeah. NAR just goes, boo, boo. Throw him overboard.
[00:08:42] Speaker A: So, yeah, you delivered your talent show piece.
[00:08:49] Speaker B: I loved.
[00:08:50] Speaker D: I do remember kt, I think. Yeah. You were like.
[00:08:54] Speaker B: You were like.
[00:08:54] Speaker D: I'm picturing Roscoe as just, like, standing there being like, oh, my God.
[00:08:59] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:08:59] Speaker D: I thought this was so good last night when I was high on Tria.
[00:09:06] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Amazing. That's lovely.
[00:09:11] Speaker A: So you're just standing there.
[00:09:14] Speaker B: Great.
[00:09:15] Speaker A: In silence.
[00:09:18] Speaker D: Our hands are still jazz hands.
[00:09:19] Speaker C: Right.
[00:09:20] Speaker D: We're just ending with big grins on our faces.
[00:09:23] Speaker B: The fairy finds a grimace.
[00:09:25] Speaker A: And Gnar are both just staring at you.
Even though they're different visible species, they have the same look on their face.
[00:09:37] Speaker B: Is it pride?
[00:09:38] Speaker A: And that, I hope. Pride.
Their eyes are glistening.
So the ferret laboriously gets up from its curled spot on the deck, and it clears its ferrety throat.
Well, I mean, he paces a little bit, hands behind his back. He's up on his hind legs. He's not bouncing around like a ferret.
A real ferret.
I'm.
I'm no entertainment judge.
I've never had to hand out a trophy.
And he stops and looks at you guys and Gnar and says, there were only two entries, which doesn't strike me as typical for a talent show.
And then he turns and starts pacing again, but it does make my job easier.
Gnar.
You have won this contest simply for the fact that you displayed an actual talent.
Also, you do have some nice pipes.
So I guess that means the other entry has not won.
[00:11:28] Speaker B: Right? But did we have to win? I can't remember. Does anyone.
[00:11:32] Speaker D: Hey, hey. We got second place.
[00:11:36] Speaker E: Everyone wins, right?
[00:11:40] Speaker A: Well, I suppose it depends, because there was another part of this which was that you were also supposed to fix the harm you've done to me and my vessel.
[00:11:54] Speaker C: That's really our talent. That's the part we're going to be talented at.
[00:11:58] Speaker E: Did that, right?
[00:12:00] Speaker D: I didn't do that. Did anybody?
[00:12:02] Speaker B: Yes, Yes, I did that.
[00:12:04] Speaker D: I just wrote a bunch of shit.
[00:12:08] Speaker A: What?
[00:12:10] Speaker B: Yeah, No, I fixed it. It's.
I mean, that's. Sure, that's kind of part of it. It was all part of the same deal. I don't think we said that we had to win the talent show, guys. So don't worry, right? I look at the ferret with a. With a kind of smile. I mean, have to win.
[00:12:28] Speaker A: Propose a contest. Ostensibly, the goal is to win.
[00:12:32] Speaker B: Well, we tried. Just because these guys are lame doesn't mean that I should be punished.
[00:12:37] Speaker D: Hey, hey, hey. We entered together. We live together. We die together.
[00:12:42] Speaker B: Not all of us agreed. Not all of us agreed to live together and die together. Ferret the real.
[00:12:47] Speaker D: I would. I would have to say that the real talent on display here was event planning.
[00:12:59] Speaker A: Well, again, there were only two entries and no audience.
[00:13:06] Speaker B: Well, where. Where is. I mean, it's not really, I guess, everybody business. There were other passengers. Are they all deceased now?
[00:13:14] Speaker A: Well, Nars here.
[00:13:16] Speaker B: Oh, and Lucky Nar.
[00:13:18] Speaker A: She's here. And Will Valencia. He didn't. He didn't actually do that. That was me. Valencio's here.
Or should I say Will is here.
[00:13:27] Speaker B: Oh, now he does say it.
[00:13:29] Speaker A: And a certain royalty is here. And Rafina is here.
[00:13:36] Speaker B: There were other passengers.
[00:13:40] Speaker C: Where's Sue Broadmoor?
[00:13:41] Speaker A: Oh, she scarpered off.
[00:13:43] Speaker B: Yeah, off of a boat in the middle of the ocean.
[00:13:46] Speaker A: Do you see the missing lifeboat?
[00:13:48] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:13:49] Speaker A: We're in a bay.
[00:13:53] Speaker D: Perception. Perception check.
[00:13:57] Speaker A: Does Roscoe say that out loud?
Yeah, you can clearly see the missing lifeboat. Unless there's something else you're looking for.
[00:14:07] Speaker D: I was just looking for the life.
[00:14:09] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. You don't see it?
[00:14:11] Speaker C: Well, did she go with Sean Indigo?
[00:14:14] Speaker A: Oh, Sean Indigo.
[00:14:15] Speaker D: Still. I gave. I handed it. We handed an invite to Sean Indigo last night.
[00:14:20] Speaker C: I know, but he didn't come.
[00:14:22] Speaker D: Well, did anybody let him out? I thought that was your job. Rafina.
[00:14:26] Speaker C: Hey, we Offered to give this talent show at the cage, and Ferret said no. He said, just don't worry about him.
[00:14:33] Speaker A: Yeah, don't worry about him. That still stands.
[00:14:36] Speaker B: Yeah, he's probably, you know, deserving of whatever fate he got. Probably.
But anyway, sure. Yeah. Let's go see. Would you like to go see how I have. I'm sure you've already sensed something, since you apparently know everything that's happening on the ship.
[00:14:53] Speaker A: Well, you were doing something.
[00:14:55] Speaker B: You don't know what it is.
[00:14:56] Speaker A: Maybe I do, maybe I don't. Maybe all of it's the presentation.
[00:15:01] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:15:02] Speaker A: God knows we need some entertainment.
[00:15:04] Speaker B: Entertainment? Well, this isn't part of the talent show necessarily. Oh. I guess that's what people said.
[00:15:09] Speaker D: It's up. All right, Nar. Congratulations.
You know, we. You had an audience. You had all of us out here. We were supportive, and then when we got up, I don't know where the audience went, but.
[00:15:25] Speaker A: Well, you all were in the show, right?
[00:15:28] Speaker D: Yeah. Yeah, but still, it's the principle of the thing, isn't it?
[00:15:31] Speaker A: I'm not sure.
[00:15:33] Speaker D: Yeah, I bet you. I bet you not. You know what?
[00:15:36] Speaker A: What?
[00:15:37] Speaker D: Great. Great. It was awesome. Great job, Nar. It was a great naria.
[00:15:41] Speaker A: Thank you.
[00:15:42] Speaker D: And.
[00:15:42] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:15:43] Speaker D: No, let's go see. Let's go. Let's go see. Let's go see. Let's go see.
[00:15:47] Speaker A: All right, Go on.
[00:15:51] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, Will is, like, just gesturing to wherever the direction of the room is.
[00:15:55] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:15:57] Speaker B: All right.
[00:15:58] Speaker A: So the ferret follows you.
[00:16:00] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:16:01] Speaker A: And you all. Whoever's going.
[00:16:03] Speaker B: He'd be talking to the ferret. Will is not acting like he is not paying attention to anyone else. He. He's walking away from this talent show and not looking back. He's looking right at the ferret. Hopefully, like, walking and talking with him and saying, okay, great, but listen, Ferret. How. What do you want us to call you? Because ferret doesn't sound like enough.
You want me to say the whole.
[00:16:26] Speaker A: I mean, you could still call me Malvolio. Captain Paisley. Captain. Captain Ferret.
[00:16:32] Speaker B: You like that?
[00:16:33] Speaker A: Captain Flirtatious Ferret. Malvolio.
[00:16:35] Speaker B: Ferret Malvolio. I think that sounds like a great. I'm just. It's just interesting because you took that form and you.
[00:16:43] Speaker A: I mean, you're familiar with taking forms that perhaps don't reflect your true self.
[00:16:48] Speaker B: All right, maybe we don't need to talk about that so much, because I don't think that's about. It's about me right now.
[00:16:53] Speaker A: You're right, Valencia.
[00:16:54] Speaker B: It's not right about Malvolio, are we in a Shakespearean play? I feel like we should be.
[00:17:00] Speaker D: Wait a minute. Malvolio. Mal.
Volio.
Bad Vol.
[00:17:09] Speaker C: Yep. Related to ferrets.
[00:17:12] Speaker D: It was there all along, right under our very noses.
[00:17:17] Speaker A: Put it in the wiki and it's canon.
[00:17:20] Speaker B: Will is just walking away with the ferret. Just trying to get away from whatever Roscoe's saying.
[00:17:26] Speaker D: Hey, hey, I took a movie. No, don't take it. Don't take it hard. I think you did a great job.
[00:17:32] Speaker A: Take one hard.
[00:17:34] Speaker D: Our loss.
[00:17:36] Speaker A: No, we did good.
[00:17:37] Speaker D: Yeah, we did do good. You did good. You did good. Yeah, I do have some notes for you. I'll slide them into your door later, but.
[00:17:44] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:17:45] Speaker D: Ultimately, I. I think. I think the odds are stacked against us and. Hey, where did Valencio and the ferret go? They're just walking.
[00:17:53] Speaker A: They're biting their thumbs at each other. Over there.
[00:17:56] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly.
Perfect.
[00:18:01] Speaker D: Where did Valencio find that? Oh, it's Bathwack's skull. Oh, look, he's giving a little speech.
[00:18:08] Speaker C: Alas, poor Bathwack.
[00:18:12] Speaker A: I knew him well. Valencio.
[00:18:14] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:18:17] Speaker A: Anyway.
Yeah, right. Valencio. You can call me Malvolio.
[00:18:23] Speaker B: Right. So you were talking about how it was too easy to be flirtatious as a ferret. Forgive me if I don't understand, but you found it easy to flirt.
[00:18:37] Speaker A: You could understand what I'm saying.
[00:18:40] Speaker B: Will you get offended if I say that? I don't. Is that.
[00:18:43] Speaker C: Is that.
[00:18:43] Speaker A: No, I just don't. You don't need to sell yourself short.
You're a bright young man. You can grasp what I was telling you. You don't have to act like you couldn't possibly understand what I said to you.
[00:18:58] Speaker B: No, but you were saying that it was too easy to flirt with people. As a giant ferret. With people as a giant ferret.
But as a ferret.
[00:19:07] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:19:08] Speaker B: You have always been a ferret.
[00:19:10] Speaker A: Right.
[00:19:11] Speaker B: And people flirt back.
[00:19:15] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:19:16] Speaker B: Very easily.
[00:19:17] Speaker A: Like we're doing now.
[00:19:19] Speaker B: Oh, conversation. Okay.
[00:19:22] Speaker A: Oh, it's. It's a bit of a Ted. A Ted. I think. I mean, the rest of you don't. You send some friction.
[00:19:27] Speaker B: And Will just does this.
[00:19:29] Speaker A: And the fair in a room.
[00:19:30] Speaker D: You two.
[00:19:32] Speaker B: Okay. Well, anyway, maybe some of us aren't as good at flirting as others. And that's kind of my point, actually. And hopefully we've gotten to the door. Open it. I have no idea how long of a walk it is.
[00:19:48] Speaker A: They took half of it figuring out what each other's names were.
[00:19:52] Speaker B: Yeah, and he's gonna push Open the door and like.
[00:19:56] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:19:56] Speaker B: I don't know how obvious. It's right there, right? It's just there.
I don't remember. I mean, it's not exactly carpentry, right? Like, it was a vague magic tree. Right?
[00:20:10] Speaker A: Magic. Magic.
[00:20:11] Speaker B: Which, by the way, out of character. Will def. The glass won't be there after, like something like 12 hours or 18 hours.
[00:20:16] Speaker C: So we gotta get out of here.
[00:20:18] Speaker A: Oh, I'll get you, Will Pompeo.
[00:20:24] Speaker B: But. So it's a prototype. Yeah, that's what I. Yeah. Thank you. Perfect word. So, I mean, if it's right there, like, he's just like. Okay. So I know that this does not look professional. Okay. I am not a carpenter.
[00:20:38] Speaker A: When I said I could fit again, like, you shouldn't be starting pitches denigrating yourself again.
[00:20:46] Speaker B: When did I denigrate myself before? I don't think I denigrated myself.
[00:20:49] Speaker C: Conversation that you just had.
[00:20:51] Speaker B: But I didn't denigrate myself. I just said that. I don't understand how a giant ferret looks.
[00:20:56] Speaker A: Like a lot of self deprecation is happening here. He gestures with his little furry ferret claw.
[00:21:01] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Will is genuinely confused.
[00:21:04] Speaker D: Valencio, don't sell yourself short. You could be with a ferret.
[00:21:07] Speaker A: It.
[00:21:10] Speaker B: Now, the window that I have developed in this room is kind of an example of.
[00:21:17] Speaker A: Wait a second. This was a wall.
[00:21:19] Speaker B: It was a wall. Wow. All right. This is why you need somebody like me. You don't need a carpenter, you need an idea man.
[00:21:25] Speaker A: Listen, I'm setting you up. Go on.
[00:21:28] Speaker B: If you already know the pitch, why don't you give.
[00:21:31] Speaker A: I don't know the pitch. I'm just helping you deliver it. There's just certain beats you can hit that really help to drive.
[00:21:37] Speaker B: Here's my salesperson husband coming through.
Apparently.
[00:21:42] Speaker C: No, it's clearly a ferret who's the captain of a ship.
[00:21:49] Speaker B: Used to be a wall, now it's a window. Is that what you said?
[00:21:53] Speaker A: I said you asked, like, do you know. Do you. If you know this whole thing, and I'm saying, no, I don't know the whole pitch. I'm just helping you. There's certain beats you have to hit.
[00:22:00] Speaker D: Valencia was also saying that you don't need a carpenter, you need an ideas man.
[00:22:06] Speaker B: Yes, I did say that.
[00:22:07] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:22:08] Speaker A: Ideas, though. That I can understand. What, you have some ideas for me?
[00:22:15] Speaker B: Yes. That is the whole point. He's get. Now Will is suddenly going, wow, apparently I am not the person I thought you were.
[00:22:22] Speaker A: Keep your energy up.
[00:22:26] Speaker B: So you're saying it's super easy to flirt as a giant ferret. And whether I can understand that or not, just assume it's true.
[00:22:34] Speaker A: Okay?
[00:22:35] Speaker B: Now, if you're finding it so easy to flirt as a ferret, why don't you use your. The other aspect of your personality, which is that you're a God, sir, and help those less fortunate than you at flirting. Why don't you turn this boring cruise ship, which, yes, it might be boring, but it is very fine quality cruise ship. Lovely food, lovely decor. But, you know, it's a little like.
It's just a cruise ship, right?
[00:23:05] Speaker C: And it's just a little old person.
[00:23:07] Speaker B: Oh, I mean, I didn't say it. This old person said it. Says.
[00:23:11] Speaker A: Well, this co talent show entrance said it.
[00:23:15] Speaker B: What did you say?
[00:23:16] Speaker A: This co talent show entrance?
[00:23:18] Speaker B: Yeah, my co talent show entrant.
[00:23:19] Speaker C: I didn't write the script.
[00:23:23] Speaker B: The other old person did. Says Will.
[00:23:27] Speaker D: Hey, I know old.
[00:23:29] Speaker B: You didn't write it, did you?
[00:23:30] Speaker A: Oh, no, I just. I just memorize.
[00:23:32] Speaker B: Yeah, Good job, Mo.
Anyway, it's just a little. It's a little plain. It's a little. It's. It's a. It's a wonderful cruise ship, but it has no personality. What part of the ferret's personality is in this cruise ship? And even what part of Captain Malvolio Paisley's personality is part of this cruise ship? None. This is just a cruise ship. If I went on this cruise ship, I could think it's, you know, one of my friends. Cruise ships could be anyone's cruise ship. What I'm saying is, if you love flirting, why not turn this place into.
[00:24:06] Speaker A: Like the place to flirt and thus a window.
[00:24:12] Speaker B: This window. And by the way, out of character, you, who you DM had said that like, it's unclear when you're further away, but it gets clearer as you go close to it or something. Like the way that the glass work because it was kind of crystal. You said it was like you here, I'll look at. I'll try to find my notes.
[00:24:32] Speaker A: I don't remember saying this.
[00:24:33] Speaker B: Yes, I will describe what you said if I wrote it down. I really hope Mara's in a bit. Well, in bathroom, turn the boat into the SS Ass below me.
This is what I was talking about, Shimi. Edges are a frame that matches the walls. Seamless. The glass isn't perfect. Invisible glass. It's like a crystal. The glass is kind of faceted, so you can clearly see up close, but it's kind of fractured from further away. I'm so glad I take good notes.
[00:25:02] Speaker C: All right.
[00:25:02] Speaker A: Did I say that?
[00:25:04] Speaker B: You said that.
[00:25:04] Speaker A: Wow. That's a pretty good description. I like that.
[00:25:06] Speaker C: I don't know how you play and take such amazingly detailed notes. Because I forgot things.
[00:25:10] Speaker B: Well, because I rely on everyone else to take notes when I'm talking. So hopefully someone is taking notes right now, because I am not taking. Not. That's why it's. It's hard for me. I don't. I take very basic notes, like afterwards or if Eric is. If Eric is talking for a while, I can take notes, but that usually doesn't happen. Usually I'm the one that's talking a lot, so I can't take notes while I'm talking.
So. So anyway, so the. The glass is this textured, fractured glass. Right. So it might not look that impressive. I understand. Going back into character, I guess.
[00:25:43] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:25:43] Speaker B: But I would.
I don't know if I have any volunteers who want to go onto the other side of the glass into the disgusting animal room. Me, me, me. All right, Mo, can you be a little seductive? Do you know how to do that? Huh? All right. I trust you, bro. Go ahead.
[00:26:00] Speaker D: That's not very seductive.
[00:26:02] Speaker A: Talk. Try to get me in the mood.
[00:26:04] Speaker B: I don't want to get you in the. Okay, Mo, this is your task. You have to get in the mood. Over there. Okay. Away from me.
[00:26:10] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:26:11] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:26:11] Speaker A: Where's the hole where I crawl through?
[00:26:14] Speaker B: Well, that. Actually, that's another idea. But what do you do? The whole. You know, you have to go into the other room.
[00:26:19] Speaker A: Oh, I have to go around. Yes.
[00:26:20] Speaker C: You have to go around the actual door.
[00:26:23] Speaker B: Yeah. Because again, I was tasked to fix the hole.
[00:26:26] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:26:26] Speaker B: I didn't build anything else. You need carpenters. It's part of what this is. But I'm assuming that you have endless money, Malvolio, because that's kind of what it seems like.
[00:26:35] Speaker A: Yeah, I can figure it out.
[00:26:36] Speaker B: Right? Exactly. So is Mo there yet?
[00:26:41] Speaker A: Yeah. All of a sudden, you see green pressed up against the facets walls.
[00:26:45] Speaker B: And the other. There's just six animals.
Just hear a bunch of animals flying out of the way.
What is that? A frog?
I want to get that animal, whatever that one is.
[00:26:57] Speaker A: No more pets.
[00:26:59] Speaker B: No, I don't really. Will doesn't want to pet. Oh, me.
[00:27:02] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:27:02] Speaker B: No. Don't worry. I'm never getting another animal in my life.
[00:27:07] Speaker C: Lies. But we'll talk about that later.
[00:27:10] Speaker B: All right? Anyway.
[00:27:13] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:27:14] Speaker B: Okay, I'm over here.
So if you come closer to the glass, I'll, like, tap on the glass. I don't know. I mean, can you he hear me if I can hear him? Kind of, yeah. Then what? He says, come closer to the glass. Knocking on the glass.
[00:27:28] Speaker A: Oh, I hear.
[00:27:30] Speaker B: So you're. Wait, you're here? You're just standing there?
[00:27:33] Speaker A: Yeah, he's just right there.
[00:27:34] Speaker B: Can you see? Is the light not on? Go turn on the light, Mo. And while he goes and turns on the light, light. I'm like, okay, so the point is, first of all, this doesn't have to be open. It can have a curtain or a door or something like that. It's just a little room. You think it's normal, but then maybe it's not so normal. Maybe you can decide whether you want to take a peek at somebody in the other room. It's a little tantalizing, a little flirtatious. Exactly. Because once you get closer, and hopefully, Mo shows up and his crotch is right there.
[00:28:02] Speaker A: He presses his cloaca to the glass.
[00:28:05] Speaker B: It's sucking on the glass like a pleco fish.
Adam, shut the up. You love it. You love it. Adam, shut the up. Look at that face. He loves.
[00:28:20] Speaker A: It's going in your next book.
[00:28:24] Speaker C: We need to put a new level of explicit. Is there a level above explicit to put on the podcast?
[00:28:29] Speaker B: I just said playo fish is not.
[00:28:31] Speaker C: Even grosses Adam out.
[00:28:33] Speaker B: I know. Yeah.
That is a different level anyway. What?
[00:28:38] Speaker A: Does that happen? Yes, that's happening.
[00:28:40] Speaker B: Stop it.
[00:28:42] Speaker C: Love it.
[00:28:44] Speaker B: If that happens, Will faints. No, I'm just kidding. But he, like. It's like a double take. There's no way he's doing that.
[00:28:50] Speaker A: No, you could see, like, green gyration happening.
[00:28:55] Speaker B: Green gyration. Green, green gyration. Bop, bop.
[00:29:03] Speaker D: There you go.
[00:29:04] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:29:06] Speaker C: That recap wrote itself. Alex, you're all set.
[00:29:09] Speaker A: All right. We just get to hear him sing it.
[00:29:14] Speaker B: Amazing.
[00:29:15] Speaker A: The whole thing.
[00:29:15] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:29:16] Speaker A: Just sing. The normal lyrics would change it to green gyration, but you have to sing all the oohs. And that's your recap. There you go. It's kind of like a pass.
I look forward to hearing.
[00:29:29] Speaker B: I'll participate.
[00:29:30] Speaker A: No, he has to do it all.
[00:29:33] Speaker B: Maybe if we worked together, people wouldn't be so tired.
Like, I meant the world. I meant the world.
[00:29:41] Speaker C: Put a sign on that. On the entire planet.
[00:29:43] Speaker B: Yes. If we work together, then we wouldn't be so tired. Exactly.
So there's green gyration, and I gesture a picture there. Whatever you would like or whatever you think your passengers might like. Plus, like, I have a whole slew of ideas that, like, Trap doors, secret passageways. People could pretend that they're not into each other, but they're flirting. You could get couples here who are bored with each other, like pretending they're different people, having to sneak to different rooms.
[00:30:18] Speaker A: Like, you could be part of it.
[00:30:19] Speaker B: Sure. All of that stuff.
[00:30:21] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:30:22] Speaker B: You know, but I think that this whole thing needs a makeover because otherwise it's just ship.
[00:30:27] Speaker A: You know, you're right.
[00:30:29] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:30:29] Speaker A: It needs, like, the paint.
[00:30:31] Speaker B: This is just. There's some paint. It's just white. White paint. What's that? It's clean. Sure, but is it sexy?
[00:30:37] Speaker A: No.
[00:30:38] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:30:39] Speaker A: It needs to be even more a part of me.
[00:30:41] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:30:44] Speaker A: Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, great.
You've given me a lot to think.
[00:30:53] Speaker B: About, including, hopefully not kicking me off the ship into a tiny boat.
[00:31:00] Speaker A: Did anybody help you with this?
[00:31:03] Speaker B: Did anyone help me with this project?
[00:31:06] Speaker C: Yeah, well, we're all really interconnected.
[00:31:09] Speaker A: I didn't ask you ex.
[00:31:14] Speaker B: I wouldn't be here without these people. These people right here. I don't know about anyone else. Narrative didn't help me, but.
[00:31:21] Speaker A: Did anybody help you with this?
[00:31:23] Speaker B: Yeah. I wouldn't.
[00:31:24] Speaker A: Is it just your idea or did they help you?
[00:31:29] Speaker B: Well.
Oh, God. Now I'm going to have to decide to lie.
Did anyone actually help me? I know she was in the room when I built it. I'm not. Please, I'm not saying this out loud.
[00:31:41] Speaker A: This is. I know.
[00:31:44] Speaker E: I. I helped you by making the.
[00:31:47] Speaker A: Hole that voice comes through.
You just can't help it. Ruling.
[00:32:02] Speaker B: If I didn't have these people here to protect my ass, I wouldn't have even been able to come up with this idea.
H. You want to kick them off?
[00:32:13] Speaker C: I know what you're saying.
[00:32:14] Speaker D: Call ourselves.
[00:32:15] Speaker B: Oh, no, Rosco, stop it.
[00:32:18] Speaker A: Everybody call ourselves. She, me, and the Shim.
[00:32:25] Speaker C: God damn it.
[00:32:28] Speaker D: I was going to do a. The aristocrat.
[00:32:30] Speaker B: Oh, nice. Very good.
[00:32:33] Speaker D: But you didn't.
[00:32:34] Speaker B: You too, was definitely Shimi. The Shim Shams.
Yeah. No, I mean, like. And specifically Shimi was here.
[00:32:42] Speaker A: Good looking out, boss.
[00:32:43] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm just saying, like, these pe. I would not have been able to do this if other people weren't taking care of other business. It's not really fair to try to separate the party.
This is a. It's a party.
Woohoo. You know what I'm saying? Anyway, you can't kick them off. You can't.
[00:33:01] Speaker A: I mean, I can.
[00:33:02] Speaker B: Yes, I know you can, but the thing is, if you like my idea, I actually might have written down a few more, but I can't you know, like. And you're not gonna kill me over them, because who would do that, you know? Anyway, so I'm just saying I have ideas. If you want to keep the ideas coming, keep. My friends here, they put on a talent show that you got to judge and shit on. It was pretty great, right?
[00:33:33] Speaker A: I mean, to be fair, it was dog roll deception.
[00:33:37] Speaker B: I made a ferret frolic around dog.
[00:33:43] Speaker A: That's a joke for Adam. Oh, you weren't here for that.
[00:33:46] Speaker B: No, I wasn't here. Okay.
[00:33:47] Speaker D: Because when Eric was setting up this new webcam thing that you hate set up for you guys, I. I told him. Yeah, because your old setup was literal dog.
[00:33:58] Speaker B: Yes, I agree.
[00:34:00] Speaker D: We couldn't see either of you.
[00:34:02] Speaker B: Yes. Yeah, Agree. I always would try. I would try to scoot him over and everything, but then I. Like, we have two chairs that don't.
[00:34:12] Speaker A: We're too close.
[00:34:13] Speaker B: We're literally right next to each other already. Like, we're touching my. His stinky feet are touching my knee.
It.
Stop it. All right, okay. That's what I said.
[00:34:27] Speaker A: Well, you know, then he claps his little ferret paws together.
Let's.
[00:34:34] Speaker B: It's Most still gyrating.
[00:34:36] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:34:38] Speaker B: You know what I picture? Because it's just the bottom half of him. I picture the gremlins because they've got that little, like. That's just what I picture. A gremlin.
[00:34:45] Speaker A: That body shape.
[00:34:46] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:34:47] Speaker A: Like a triangle upper body and then little spindly legs.
[00:34:50] Speaker B: Well, they have good muscles.
[00:34:51] Speaker A: Yeah, but like. Yeah, like, their knees are tiny. Yes. Yeah, he's good.
[00:34:55] Speaker B: But he's. He's very muscular.
I love the gremlins.
[00:35:00] Speaker A: Is there a gremlin with a rainbow?
[00:35:02] Speaker B: No, there isn't, but Spike has white hair, and he could dye it. He could dye it. Wait, Stripe.
[00:35:06] Speaker A: Stripe, Spike.
[00:35:08] Speaker B: Oh, God, I hate that. I.
[00:35:09] Speaker A: There is a stripe. For sure.
[00:35:11] Speaker B: Stripe. It's not.
[00:35:12] Speaker C: Oh, there was.
[00:35:12] Speaker B: It's stripe. Thank you. I do that every time, even though I've seen that movie, like, hundred times and it's my favorite. No, never.
[00:35:19] Speaker C: I've never seen it.
[00:35:22] Speaker B: Okay.
Like, it's one of my favorite movies. I don't know if I've ever.
[00:35:28] Speaker A: All right, you said this 50 times. I have a list that is seven pages long.
[00:35:34] Speaker B: We watch it at Christmas.
[00:35:35] Speaker C: All of KT's favorite movies.
[00:35:37] Speaker B: Oh, I love it. It's so great.
[00:35:39] Speaker D: I missed. What. What are we talking about?
[00:35:41] Speaker B: I love Gremlins so much. It's a dark comedy. It's wonderful. The performances are amazing. The puppets are fantastic. And it's hilarious and disgusting. Only minorly. I love it. It's so funny. It's so great. It's lovely. Original Gremlins. I want to watch it with you. I love it. I think it's so silly. Puppets. It's amazing. Yay, Gremlins. Sorry. Gremlin gyrating and then. Sorry. I totally interrupted Ferret talking because I was excited about Green Gyration. Green, green, green, green Gy.
Yes, go.
[00:36:18] Speaker A: I hope you're working on the translation to French horn there with that melody.
[00:36:24] Speaker C: He's working on translating the lyrics to Chinese.
[00:36:28] Speaker B: Oh, no.
[00:36:30] Speaker C: Alex is learning Chinese. Everyone.
[00:36:32] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:36:32] Speaker C: I don't want to exclude the audience.
[00:36:34] Speaker B: You recently said that.
[00:36:35] Speaker A: That's too much information, though. KT is going to have to edit that out.
[00:36:38] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:36:38] Speaker A: Only one person could learn Chinese.
[00:36:40] Speaker B: Only one person. Everyone will know who it is.
There's only one white guy allowed at a time and we all know who it is.
[00:36:49] Speaker A: That's too much information.
[00:36:51] Speaker B: He's a white guy. Oh, shit. He's Chinese. He's learning Chinese.
[00:36:54] Speaker C: Married a white guy.
[00:36:55] Speaker B: I married a white. You're so disappointed.
I marry a white guy.
[00:37:00] Speaker A: That's gonna be your autobiography.
[00:37:02] Speaker B: I married a white guy.
Oh, it's perfect. All right.
[00:37:10] Speaker A: So that was a digression.
[00:37:11] Speaker C: Yeah, from the digression.
Come on, Ferret.
[00:37:18] Speaker A: What? I. I'm trying to remember if you all were actually saying all of this or if this all was just happening in our heads.
[00:37:26] Speaker B: You asked if they helped me and I. He insisted that they helped and you lied. I didn't lie. I said that they. I need.
[00:37:34] Speaker A: You gave a line of bs.
[00:37:35] Speaker B: Yeah, I did.
Did it sell?
[00:37:38] Speaker A: Are you gonna take any.
No bs.
[00:37:42] Speaker B: No bs. Do you want me to roll? I mean, like, I just tried to.
[00:37:45] Speaker A: No, we're already past that. You did it.
[00:37:47] Speaker B: We bow. We've already.
[00:37:49] Speaker A: You had to be past that.
[00:37:50] Speaker B: We've already been.
Let's.
[00:37:57] Speaker A: Let's go back up to the performance space, why don't we? I can issue my. My final ruling.
[00:38:03] Speaker B: You mean you want to push us overboard? Why don't you just shove me out the hole?
[00:38:07] Speaker A: What did I say about this self deprecation, Valencio?
[00:38:11] Speaker B: Why would we need to go back up to the stage? It's very suspicious, sir.
[00:38:16] Speaker A: What are you gonna do down here?
[00:38:17] Speaker B: I don't know. Are you gonna kill us all in the hold or are you gonna kill us up There Is a cleaner up there. Listen, we've got a couple of idiots with us. What are. What are you gonna blame me for that Come on.
[00:38:29] Speaker A: Which ones are the idiots?
[00:38:30] Speaker B: Nobody.
[00:38:31] Speaker A: It's not a couple, at least.
[00:38:32] Speaker B: Sean. Indigo. I'm just saying sometimes people make mistakes and sometimes people are trying to do things for dumb gods that keep showing up. And I don't include you in the dumb gods. There's a stupid bird flying around in your ship. Why aren't you mad at that God? He all over your ship.
[00:38:48] Speaker A: Didn't you smell it?
[00:38:50] Speaker B: What? You like it?
[00:38:51] Speaker A: Smelled good.
[00:38:52] Speaker B: Ferret. That's shit. It is poop. I don't care if it's from a God or not. It's disgusting.
[00:38:57] Speaker A: I mean, it's from a bird. It's. It's like a. That's even the word.
[00:39:00] Speaker B: That's worse.
[00:39:02] Speaker A: I guess I could see that argument.
[00:39:03] Speaker B: Yes, it's worse. So what I'm saying is just either just tell us the news, just tell us whether we're.
We're going to have to go on a tiny boat across the ocean or not.
[00:39:16] Speaker A: No, I want to do it up on deck. Come on.
[00:39:19] Speaker C: Is there a guillotine up there?
[00:39:21] Speaker D: No.
[00:39:22] Speaker A: Why, do you want there to be one?
[00:39:24] Speaker C: No, I'm just. I'm curious why we have to go up on deck.
[00:39:28] Speaker A: I just think it would be grander, don't you?
[00:39:31] Speaker D: No, I happen to agree with the ferret guy. Guys. I think. Yeah, just pure showmanship. Angle, like. I think we should go back up there.
[00:39:39] Speaker B: I would like you to look at the window one more time and think of all the ideas that I have.
[00:39:44] Speaker A: He's still going, isn't he?
[00:39:46] Speaker B: Who? Oh, yeah. It's most still going. Hey, knock on the window. Knock on the window.
You're all right, Mo. Thank you. Was that good? It was excellent.
[00:39:56] Speaker E: Secret is he keeps using different muscles.
[00:40:01] Speaker B: No Bathwack knows about how to gyrate for a really long time. He's got the secret down.
All right. That's why go in the other room. You gyrate for a while. Hey, would you like us all to gyrate for you, sir?
[00:40:14] Speaker A: I say to him, it seems like you're stalling.
[00:40:18] Speaker B: Yes, of course. Because I don't want to end up in a rowboat going across the bay.
[00:40:22] Speaker A: Well, come on. And he just starts to head up on. On deck without a look behind him.
[00:40:30] Speaker B: All right.
What do we do, Will?
[00:40:33] Speaker C: I guess we have to go.
[00:40:34] Speaker B: Who said that? Mo.
[00:40:36] Speaker A: What we do, Will?
No, I still over here.
[00:40:41] Speaker B: Still dancing?
[00:40:42] Speaker A: No, I stop.
[00:40:43] Speaker B: Oh, you're just standing there. Come on. Come out of there.
[00:40:46] Speaker A: Okay. And he clearly pulls up some sort of a garment. And you can't really tell through the glass.
[00:40:52] Speaker D: Isn't it still a suit?
[00:40:54] Speaker A: Yeah, I guess you assume.
[00:40:58] Speaker B: What do we do, Will?
[00:40:59] Speaker A: She says, do we go up there?
[00:41:01] Speaker B: Yeah. What else are we gonna do? If we get trapped down here and he turns off the magic again, that'll suck even more. So I guess let's get in a place where we can fly away if we need to.
[00:41:11] Speaker A: Yeah, just keep it. Keep within arm's reach of me, okay, sure. I'll keep within an arm's reach of you. So you all head back up on deck.
[00:41:22] Speaker C: Yep.
[00:41:25] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:41:30] Speaker D: Well, we get back into the old pose. We do cast dance again.
[00:41:42] Speaker A: I like to think Moe actually does. And Roscoe has to stop him.
[00:41:48] Speaker D: No. Yeah.
[00:41:49] Speaker A: Timing.
[00:41:50] Speaker D: That's okay.
[00:41:55] Speaker A: So, I mean, I think I have to.
I mean, I have to make some sort of a choice here.
[00:42:06] Speaker B: Is Gnar still here? Is he gonna get killed or something?
[00:42:09] Speaker A: Gnar's up there with you guys, does he.
I mean, yeah, he didn't have a room to, like, go in the. The cabin. He had to kind of stay out in the hall. There's a lot of. There was a lot of you there, but he was in the. The general group. It's like when you go on, like, one of those guided tours, and, like, people have to look at something or gather around, but there's, like, if it's a good tour with a lot of people, there's people that can't see or basically hear anything throughout the whole tour. It's like one of those situations.
[00:42:37] Speaker D: Did Gnar get a record deal while we were gone?
We come back, he's, like, getting into. He's like Ryan Seacrest.
[00:42:45] Speaker A: Now there's a Virgin Records helicopter lands on the deck.
Bye, guys.
His head hits the rotors.
[00:42:58] Speaker B: Oh, geez Louise. What is happening?
[00:43:00] Speaker A: Falls to his knees, then to the. The deck.
The Virgin helicopter takes off before the pilot can be identified. They head into international waters and are never heard from again.
[00:43:12] Speaker B: Well, that's a good story. Now, what happens in our story?
[00:43:17] Speaker A: Adam started it.
Sorry, I'm just mad with power with my own camera to own.
[00:43:27] Speaker D: Yeah, it's like your own little sex window.
[00:43:30] Speaker A: That's right. They're just watching you with no crystalline. Oh, there we go. You, like, push it right up to your face so we can, like, see this.
[00:43:41] Speaker B: I'm trapped.
[00:43:42] Speaker C: Very gauzy gyrate. I want a curtain gyrate.
[00:43:51] Speaker A: So.
And, yeah, I don't really want to have to worry about, like, feeding all of you. So the ones that lost the talent show, you guys can get in the boats.
[00:44:01] Speaker B: You fuck. You fuck.
[00:44:04] Speaker A: What? Do you have a problem with me?
I don't have time to hear it. I have to get back to, you know, actually being a giant ferret.
[00:44:12] Speaker B: No. Captaining this proud Vestigo where you have no crew anymore. What a captain. Good luck.
[00:44:19] Speaker A: Listen, I paid enough attention to you all. I think that it's about time that I take control of this mighty, mighty boring ass ship that is truly a part of.
And there's a massive rending.
You hear? And the boat itself shudders to an abrupt stop. What the fu. The back of the boat lifts up into the air. It was moving along at a nice clip, a certain number of knots. That means pretty fast.
And you're all thrown into the air as the back of the ship lifts up, the front of it seeming to have been stopped dead in its tracks.
There was a still rending. Crunches and groans and creaks and screams. And as the boat.
[00:45:18] Speaker C: Oh, man, we hit an iceberg.
[00:45:20] Speaker B: Yeah, I know.
[00:45:20] Speaker A: Seemingly rends itself in half.
[00:45:22] Speaker C: Wow.
[00:45:25] Speaker A: I need all of you to give me a dexterity saving throw.
[00:45:30] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:45:33] Speaker A: And a perception roll.
Where the heck kick. Are any of these people your allies?
Ooh. Rafina, Flangepot. I get to play one of my sounds.
[00:45:48] Speaker B: It's the best.
It's the best.
[00:45:51] Speaker C: What?
[00:45:52] Speaker A: You want to hear it again?
[00:45:53] Speaker B: It's the best. Espinacho libre.
[00:45:57] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. Roscoe LaFleur.
[00:46:05] Speaker B: Roscoe got better noise.
[00:46:07] Speaker A: Sorry, Abby. I don't know what the buttons are.
[00:46:10] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:46:12] Speaker C: Oh, wait. Perception, not initiative, right?
[00:46:15] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:46:15] Speaker B: Oh, I thought you said dexterity.
[00:46:17] Speaker A: Wait, I said dexterity. Save and perception. But turn off your advantage.
[00:46:22] Speaker B: I don't know why it was even on.
[00:46:23] Speaker A: I don't either.
[00:46:24] Speaker B: All right, 14. Oh. Do you want to read all of our things?
[00:46:27] Speaker A: Okay. So both Rafina and Rosco got a critical success on their deck. Dexterity, saving throws.
[00:46:35] Speaker B: Amazing.
[00:46:39] Speaker A: And kick. I didn't hear if any of these people are your allies.
[00:46:44] Speaker E: Yeah, everyone but the ferret.
[00:46:46] Speaker A: Okay, cool. So you get to add, like, plus a million or whatever to your saves.
[00:46:52] Speaker E: Trying to figure out what it is.
[00:46:54] Speaker A: It's not as much as it had been, I think.
[00:46:58] Speaker E: Plus five.
[00:46:59] Speaker A: Plus five. So 28 total from Rafina, 27 from Roscoe. Does that add to your own kick?
[00:47:08] Speaker E: I think so.
[00:47:09] Speaker A: 21.
And from Will, a 21. So everybody over 20. So those with flying boots can take a moment to activate them if you would like.
[00:47:25] Speaker B: Can I catch shimmy?
[00:47:27] Speaker A: That's a great question.
Another roll as you're flying through the air, like with Your boots, you mean?
[00:47:34] Speaker B: Well, if we're all. If we were all trying to catch you, I guess I don't know what's happening, but if we were all presumably going to fall.
[00:47:40] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:47:41] Speaker B: And I feel like I've caught myself. I would like to try to catch me. So he doesn't fly off the ground.
[00:47:45] Speaker A: Yeah. As long as you're willing to use your flying boots. I didn't know if you would choose to do so, is all.
[00:47:51] Speaker B: Sure. Yeah.
[00:47:53] Speaker A: And what about Batwack or Kick?
[00:47:56] Speaker E: Yeah, I will. We're on the top deck. Is that right?
[00:47:58] Speaker A: Yes. You're above.
[00:47:59] Speaker E: We just got chucked in the air.
[00:48:01] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:48:03] Speaker E: Yeah, I'll fly. I have something I'm immediately going to do.
[00:48:06] Speaker A: Okay, I can. While Will's trying to catch Shimi. What are you trying to do, man?
[00:48:17] Speaker E: Does anyone need help?
[00:48:18] Speaker B: Moe? I don't know. Mo pro, mo always, like, dives.
[00:48:21] Speaker A: Everybody's pretty much flying through the air.
[00:48:24] Speaker E: Everyone's up in the air. They're flying forward.
[00:48:26] Speaker A: Yes. Like, towards the front of the. The boat as if, you know, like, just like if you get thrown against your seatbelt. Gnar is there.
[00:48:34] Speaker B: What about Pippa and the dog and all of them.
[00:48:37] Speaker A: Yeah. Clock face.
Are we 30, 40ft?
[00:48:45] Speaker E: Oh, holy crap.
[00:48:48] Speaker A: Yeah, There was a lot of force that was driven through your bodies and into the air.
[00:48:56] Speaker E: All right.
I can't save everyone.
[00:49:03] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:49:03] Speaker A: I mean, but watch me try.
[00:49:09] Speaker E: Whatever. I'll catch. I'll catch clock face and send him down.
[00:49:15] Speaker A: Oh, the luggage says Will.
Roscoe and Rafina, you're able to kind of right yourselves in the air, but you are still plummeting towards the deck below.
[00:49:33] Speaker C: Oh, I have a 20.
[00:49:35] Speaker D: Yeah. We both crit hit. I think I would like to propose that this is what happened.
[00:49:38] Speaker A: All right. You find yourselves. Nope, I'm the dm. You find yourselves clinging to each other in the air.
[00:49:46] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, that's gonna work as a pair of wings.
[00:49:49] Speaker D: Eric.
Eric heard me. Like, I have an idea. And he sent a flashback to every insane improv bullshit that I've introduced.
Would you? Okay, so I won't share my idea, but do you want to hear what it was gonna be?
[00:50:16] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:50:16] Speaker A: Wait, you won't share your idea, but can you share it? Sure.
[00:50:20] Speaker D: So my idea was gonna be that we. The only reason Rafina and Roscoe, like, survive and are okay. And all this is because Roscoe is showing Rafina how to floss.
[00:50:33] Speaker C: Do the floss.
[00:50:34] Speaker D: The dance with the dance.
Yeah. And at the same time, I think probably, I don't know, the Floss has had to become real.
[00:50:48] Speaker B: Floss of its. The floss is floss. Yeah.
[00:50:51] Speaker D: The floss becomes real floss probably because having to. Something to do with Kick's magic fishing line. And so that's so weird we were able to hang that to.
[00:51:01] Speaker B: Yeah, I would argue. So what are they rolling dexterity saving throws for if not to save themselves from getting hurt by like. Isn't that what a dexterity sa.
[00:51:12] Speaker D: Wait, hold on. He's considering my magic floss idea.
[00:51:16] Speaker A: Oh, I wasn't listening.
I. I wonder what it would be like to be an Some days.
[00:51:28] Speaker B: Oh, Eric couldn't handle it.
[00:51:30] Speaker A: No.
[00:51:31] Speaker D: Fascinating. Maybe. Could it have something to do with like, could we have already been like, we might have sighed and like, been over like, to buy the boat, like, getting the boat ready and like, maybe the boat is maybe. Are we Indiana Jonesing it and are we riding the boat down?
[00:51:46] Speaker E: Oh, yeah, the water.
[00:51:48] Speaker D: I mean, because I will say we. We were like, part of us before the talent show were like, maybe getting off. Maybe this is the great. Maybe this is the. A good way actually to get off the boat. And like, we have to approach Gully's End differently anyway. So maybe this is a good opportunity. So maybe Roscoe and Rafina were ready for like. Okay, well, let's. Well, let's do it.
[00:52:11] Speaker C: Regardless, Rafina's skirt has already.
What did I just say? Rafina?
The skirt poofs out like a parachute, so maybe it. It's slowing us at least in our descent.
[00:52:26] Speaker A: All right, so Bathwhack dives for Captain Clock Face, much to Will's chagrin, as Will actually saves a human being.
A living person.
Yeah, you die for. Listen, there were two critical hits, but.
[00:52:43] Speaker B: I didn't roll that. Listen, okay, dm.
[00:52:46] Speaker D: I'm the dm.
[00:52:47] Speaker B: He's just making up a different game.
[00:52:49] Speaker D: Did anyone else just catch, like, he just totally threw shade at Captain Clock Face.
[00:52:55] Speaker A: Yeah, it's because I'm speaking of him as Will thinks of him.
[00:52:58] Speaker B: The luggage.
[00:52:59] Speaker D: Oh, I see. You're. You're okay. There's perspective there.
[00:53:03] Speaker B: Yeah, like Bathwhack. Why are you even doing that? How stupid.
Save an actual living thing like that skeletal cat.
[00:53:11] Speaker C: That's right.
[00:53:13] Speaker B: That skeleton cat is gonna live at the bottom of the ocean. Now, apparently, there's no way that cat is floating or swimming.
[00:53:21] Speaker C: It's skeleton that we can breathe underwater. Yeah, we'll search the entire body so bones sink.
[00:53:28] Speaker B: I don't really know. I'm sure it depends on their level of like, bleached.
[00:53:32] Speaker A: You seem Pretty sure.
[00:53:34] Speaker B: I think, probably. I mean, bones are.
[00:53:37] Speaker D: Their bones are denser than water.
[00:53:39] Speaker B: They have water in them.
[00:53:41] Speaker C: Certain birds have hollow bones.
[00:53:43] Speaker B: Yeah, but it is a cat and catbird. It's a cat bird.
[00:53:50] Speaker A: Anyway. Okay, so Will dives for and catches Shimi by the hand.
And you're sort of. He's dangling down from you. He's a young lad, so you're able to bear his weight.
Bathwack speeds over to cradle Captain Clock Face catches him in the classic sort of behind the shoulders and knees situation. But in his zoom over there, his fishing line does in fact come loose and shoots out.
And he's just picturing like safe. Bathwack is picturing safely landing on the deck for everybody. And so that's where the hook just shoots down and lodges itself in the deck below.
Roscoe and Rafina do end up clinging to each other upright as opposed to just tumbling willy nilly through the air. And you all, you both are just there clutching each other. And you're just suddenly look into each other's faces. You just picture Roscoe and Rafina just staring madly into each other's eyes as Rafina's skirt puffs out. And it's not enough to bear their weight. They're still going to plummet to the deck, but it puffs out just as they come down on the fishing line that has shot out from Bathwack and lodged itself in the deck.
[00:55:29] Speaker C: Bisect us.
[00:55:30] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. Slides up between both your crotches.
[00:55:34] Speaker D: Three body problems.
[00:55:37] Speaker A: This is weird.
[00:55:38] Speaker D: Weird. Wait. Yeah, weird. Alex, isn't this weird?
[00:55:44] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:55:47] Speaker D: This is weird. All right, continue, Eric.
[00:55:50] Speaker A: It's about three.
[00:55:51] Speaker D: It just struck me how we accidentally collectively recreated something. Anyway, continue, Eric.
But also, thank God I had that floss.
[00:56:03] Speaker A: You're talking about that threesome they had.
So it's at the same moment you encounter the line Bathwack as kick is shooting up into the air to counteract Clockface's descent. And so the line is pulled taut and you slide down the line on the edges of your skirt and skid down onto the deck below, still clutching each other, staring into each other's faces.
[00:56:36] Speaker C: The side of the skirt, the.
[00:56:39] Speaker A: The hem of the skirt that is poofed out.
[00:56:42] Speaker C: It catches the side of it catches the.
[00:56:44] Speaker A: The top of the line.
[00:56:46] Speaker C: Yes, got it.
[00:56:47] Speaker D: Which is Hemingway, Old man in the Sea.
[00:56:51] Speaker C: Yeah, that helps.
[00:56:53] Speaker D: Thanks. Thanks, Abby.
[00:56:54] Speaker B: Sure.
[00:56:55] Speaker D: You're welcome.
Is Mo okay?
[00:56:59] Speaker A: Oh, nobody knows.
[00:57:01] Speaker D: Mobody knows the trouble. Mo Sin Mobo. Buddy knows Bud. Mo.
[00:57:14] Speaker A: Hey, everyone, if you like what you hear, please leave us a kind review wherever you listen to us. Also, consider supporting us by subscribing to us on ko [email protected] supportpfd where you can gain access to lots of exclusive treats and behind the scenes goodies. Thanks for listening and we'll see you next time.
