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Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Hey, you.
[00:00:01] Speaker B: Come over here.
[00:00:03] Speaker C: What is it? Mysterious person in that shadowy alley?
[00:00:06] Speaker A: Check out what I got under my trench coat. Whoa.
[00:00:10] Speaker C: Is that a subscription to Pork Fried Dice on Kofi? Yeah.
[00:00:14] Speaker A: See, it says tinyurl.com supportpfd neato. Hey, while you're here, you wanna buy some crack?
[00:00:26] Speaker C: You're listening to the show about Leonid's tiny hamster ball. It's Pork Fried Dice.
I'm Eric and I'm the dungeon master.
[00:00:38] Speaker D: I'm Abby and I play Rafina.
[00:00:41] Speaker E: I'm Alex and I play Batwack.
[00:00:44] Speaker A: I'm KT and I play Will.
[00:00:48] Speaker F: I'm Adam and I play Roscoe.
[00:00:53] Speaker C: Hold on to your haversacks. Let's roll.
[00:00:59] Speaker A: I don't know if I'll be able to do this every time, but maybe I'll make Adam feel better. Show him the gif that I made. I only made one gif. It's for Adam. I mean, it's for anybody, but I hope Adam will like it.
[00:01:11] Speaker B: I'm the king of the boat.
[00:01:16] Speaker F: That's amazing. Oh, my God, kt.
[00:01:22] Speaker A: Oh, look at that.
[00:01:24] Speaker D: He's got a Mark Twain feel going on here.
[00:01:26] Speaker A: I love it.
[00:01:28] Speaker F: Ah, beautiful.
[00:01:30] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:01:31] Speaker C: So good.
[00:01:32] Speaker A: It was just the thing that stood out to me. Like, when I. When I was copy, I remembered to actually put my notes in the communal notes part. And then I saw. He does it like Titanic. I'm the king of the boat.
It's just what popped into my head.
[00:01:49] Speaker D: Do you need to balance our levels? Is that what we call it? Balancing levels?
[00:01:55] Speaker A: I don't think it is talked at all.
[00:01:57] Speaker E: Hey, hey.
[00:02:02] Speaker A: It is the phallic. The phallics.
Yay.
[00:02:12] Speaker D: That's pretty good.
[00:02:13] Speaker A: It's a good grocery store name with an X. Yeah. Okay. I think. I mean, they look to me similar. Right?
[00:02:23] Speaker D: We're similar, but different.
[00:02:25] Speaker A: Yes, they are similar. They're good. Oh, you did Craig already? I love it when you start Craig. At the most, you're like, somebody's talking about something serious. Let me start Craig right in the.
[00:02:35] Speaker C: Middle of this, like, two sessions ago. I forgot entirely.
[00:02:38] Speaker A: I know. Oh, and it's good. It does matter. No, but he. He remembered the. The.
[00:02:43] Speaker C: We still recorded it.
[00:02:44] Speaker A: He recorded it.
[00:02:45] Speaker D: It's. Thank goodness.
[00:02:45] Speaker A: Such a pain in the butt because Adam's sound is so different from your guys's sound, and you can't balance it the same way. It just takes a lot more time.
[00:02:55] Speaker D: Jeez, I wish we could figure out a way to do this better.
[00:02:58] Speaker A: No, we do great in general and also, like, whatever. I'm just. No, I'm just trying to explain because I over explain everything. It doesn't matter. It's not a big deal. It just took longer and. It's okay.
[00:03:07] Speaker D: I don't care.
[00:03:08] Speaker A: It's okay. It's fine. I'm just trying to remember it now. And if we can do that, that's great. Ding. We just. See, like, the problem is we rely on reminders so much. Like, for calendar and everything. And with this, there's no reminder that pops up like, hey, did you start Craig? Like, that's what we would rely on.
[00:03:27] Speaker D: It's just like, how about every time we put it on the Google Calendar, can't we assign a reminder that just goes to you that's. Or us that says, you know, start Craig. Yeah, start Craig. And we can all, like, five of.
[00:03:39] Speaker A: Us be, like, annoyed by it forever.
[00:03:42] Speaker D: Yes, there's that too.
[00:03:44] Speaker A: Damn it. Why did we do this? Not even playing.
[00:03:47] Speaker C: We haven't used Craig in two years.
[00:03:50] Speaker D: Is it weird that I still see the gif.
[00:03:52] Speaker A: Oh, are you still. You can just stop streaming it or whatever.
[00:03:56] Speaker D: I didn't know if I had to tell it to stop. I didn't want to.
[00:03:58] Speaker A: I could watch it all.
[00:04:00] Speaker D: I want to see it.
[00:04:02] Speaker A: Damn.
Is everyone okay? Eric's very tired. He worked on the shower all day. And, like, shower. Oh, it's so long. It's just the thing is, it's also because, like, there was a. Several. It's so expensive, and we can't, like, buy all the materials at once. There's like, the walls and then the tiles themselves are super expensive. So we just, like, bought everything.
[00:04:26] Speaker C: And like, I went to Lowe's three times this weekend.
[00:04:29] Speaker A: He was so sad about that today.
[00:04:31] Speaker C: Especially separate drives.
[00:04:33] Speaker A: Oh, it was.
[00:04:34] Speaker C: And Home Depot.
[00:04:36] Speaker D: Like, how many times does a person have to go to Lowe's and Home Depot? And how many YouTube videos do you have to watch to make your own shower?
[00:04:43] Speaker A: But the. The problem is, I think. But it's not like Eric. Poor Eric, like, texted me or whatever at one point and was like, sorry for being an idiot, because he wasn't home. And I was so tired, and I was like, you know, just trying to do everything.
And. And. And I was like, you're not an idiot. It's like, literally a joke about anyone who does it yourself that you think you get everything. And then in the, you know, middle of the project, you're walking into the store with cement on your face and you're like, help. I don't know. I need, you know, this size piece of wood. Like, that goes like this. And that's. It's just a thing. Poor Eric.
Today it was really super physical because he was sealing all the cracks to waterproof it all. Like. And I kept, like, popping in and being like, I can do this one. This is something that I can do. Because it wasn't any tools, but he was just. He was covered in. What's it called? The compound?
[00:05:36] Speaker C: Thin set mortar.
[00:05:37] Speaker A: Thin set mortar. It was, like, on his butt. He had a butt print on the wall at one point. That's awesome. Nice.
But he's tired.
[00:05:48] Speaker D: I had a nap, so I'm okay.
[00:05:52] Speaker A: That's good.
[00:05:52] Speaker D: Alex, did you actually nap?
[00:05:54] Speaker E: No.
[00:05:55] Speaker A: Ah.
[00:05:55] Speaker D: So he's tired, too.
[00:05:56] Speaker E: I watched him.
A little bit of Alien.
[00:06:01] Speaker D: That'll make you feel better.
[00:06:03] Speaker E: The last one.
[00:06:07] Speaker A: The last alien. Like, the worst one.
[00:06:10] Speaker E: Is it the.
[00:06:12] Speaker A: I don't know. It depends on whether you're talking about even some of the new ones with, like, Alien versus Predator 5000.
[00:06:19] Speaker E: It was the one after Covenant.
[00:06:22] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:06:23] Speaker E: Or.
[00:06:24] Speaker A: I don't even know if I've seen it.
[00:06:25] Speaker E: Prometheus or.
[00:06:26] Speaker A: I don't know. Prometheus.
[00:06:27] Speaker C: Oh, it was one of the AVP2.
[00:06:31] Speaker A: Yeah. That's what I was joking about. I'm like, you know how they have all these alien versus predator number 13.
[00:06:37] Speaker D: He got to play Nemesis almost two times this weekend, so it's really on the brain.
[00:06:43] Speaker C: Almost twice.
[00:06:44] Speaker A: What? Aliens.
[00:06:44] Speaker C: Awesome.
[00:06:45] Speaker D: Well, they couldn't finish the second one because we had to check out. We were gonna get kicked out of the place.
[00:06:50] Speaker E: We still had an hour.
[00:06:53] Speaker D: You hadn't packed a single thing. Anyway.
[00:06:58] Speaker C: These are the Alien movies, okay.
[00:07:01] Speaker A: Oh, Alien, Romulus. I haven't even heard. Oh, 2024.
[00:07:05] Speaker C: I don't even know if it's.
[00:07:06] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. I don't know. Alien, Isolation, Alien, Covenant.
I'm sorry, I haven't. Like, I love Alien, and I love Aliens, but. And I. I even referenced Alien 3 recently or something. I just remember it's. That's the one where Sigourney Weaver shoots the basketball and she actually did it. Ron Perlman almost ruined the take. But I don't know. Like, I. I think. Did I like Prometheus? I feel like I've only watched it 1 1/2 times, so I'm not sure if I really liked it that much.
[00:07:38] Speaker E: I've only watched three quarters of it.
[00:07:40] Speaker A: Yeah. Is it Adam, did you see Prometheus? Did you like it? Yeah.
[00:07:46] Speaker F: Yeah, I think so.
[00:07:47] Speaker A: I. I don't. I guess I don't. I don't know. I'M when did it come out? I might have been. I might have had a baby. Yeah. I live. I probably was not in the mood to watch anything or enjoy anything in life.
[00:07:59] Speaker F: There's also a pretty notably strange birth giving scene in that movie.
[00:08:07] Speaker A: Are you serious? Oh, yeah.
[00:08:09] Speaker E: Oh, I might have seen that part the first time.
[00:08:12] Speaker F: The first time Tyler and I actually met in person.
We. It was. He was in Lancaster. He was in Lancaster for the weekend. And a bunch of us, like, all of our friends went to see Prometheus and Tyler has like, like, he's very squeamish around, like, body horror.
[00:08:32] Speaker A: Oh, no.
[00:08:33] Speaker F: And so, like, when this scene started happening, like, he literally had to stand up and leave the theater. Have you ever seen Alien movies?
[00:08:43] Speaker A: Did he understand that that was part of it?
[00:08:46] Speaker F: I, I, I, I, I don't know. But. But again, There are like 10 of us in there. And Tyler always tells a story about, like, the time that we basically, like, met in person. Was. I was the only person, like, in our friend group who like, got up and left the theater to, like, go check on him. Because I could tell when he left, I was like, oh, shit, Tyler. Tyler's like, yeah, that was. And so I just sat with him, like, out on the floor in the hallway of the theater.
Yeah.
[00:09:15] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:09:15] Speaker F: That's what I think of when I think about Prometheus.
[00:09:17] Speaker A: Yeah.
You have to get near your microphone or I'm gonna want to kill you in the future. Okay. Just like that. Babe, are you okay?
He's just up and down and everywhere.
[00:09:30] Speaker D: Would you guys rather not play? We don't have to play.
[00:09:33] Speaker C: No, we're going to play out a.
[00:09:34] Speaker D: Little bit and then go to bed.
[00:09:36] Speaker A: I know, bed is really nice.
[00:09:38] Speaker C: Bed is really nice.
[00:09:39] Speaker A: I'm just closing my eyes.
[00:09:43] Speaker C: We can play. Oh, my God.
[00:09:47] Speaker A: Have the most energy that we've ever had.
[00:09:49] Speaker C: Yeah, guys. Geez. Pep up, motherfuckers.
[00:09:58] Speaker A: And that's how I'm gonna talk to the cast of children.
[00:10:07] Speaker D: With that tone of voice, I feel like it should be acceptable.
[00:10:09] Speaker C: Yeah. Can't get mad at that. Or offended.
[00:10:12] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh.
[00:10:17] Speaker D: Hello?
[00:10:18] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:10:18] Speaker A: Are you okay? It's just, I think he keeps falling asleep when his eyes open.
Oh, yeah.
[00:10:24] Speaker C: Still here.
[00:10:27] Speaker A: You okay?
[00:10:29] Speaker C: Previously on Pork Fried Dice.
[00:10:32] Speaker F: KT or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Recap song.
They came, they saw, they sailed away.
But between the seeing and the sailing, between the promise and its break, they sang their song without restraint and then non proliferation proliferated disarmament rearmed and recaps recapped and parodied and recapped themselves again until they lost all melody and meaning and form so true. A mushroom cloud of over signification.
Over signification, over gifification. And on the other side of fathoms of apocalyptic sand, recapitulation looked down at itself and saw in the end a gaping hole across its middle. A KT shaped hole in the recap Wall the Previously on Pork Fried Dice Wall the you maniacs. You blew it up. Ah, damn you. Goddamn you are to hell Wall A hole that needed begged cried out desperately to the insurmountable heavens to be fixed.
Crisscross albatross slivers. Over time, memories duplicate and begin to rhyme.
And like that, in the fallout of the bomb of our histories, our loneliness, our endings, our banishments both old and new, where is hope to be found in our future, in togetherness, in new beginnings.
And in talent shows where we can plan an act well worth three points of gluteal stabbage. A performance to end all performances. A performance to prove to a giant angry ferret that we aren't just fuck ups who blew a hole in the wall of his ship, that we're good, that we're heroes, that we're worthy of his mercy. That on the other side of words and plans and unsustainably escalating parody songs, maybe what's broken can somehow be made whole again or at least be turned into a sex window.
Truth zoned Albatross, tell us your real name. Why are all the gods we meet just more of the same?
They're watching the ports of Gully's end. God tells us he's alive and I could point you in the right direction. God tells us but if there's no good or bad, then why does it matter? And if his real name is Randy, then why should we care? And if time only started two weeks ago, then that means all these gods emerged at the same time as us. Or maybe like the lesser of two twins a second after.
So say it with us gods. Our emergency twins all together now. A question. The question. The one for the ages. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem.
If the world changed when we entered it, what might it do when we leave?
Oh, gods.
Maybe there's nothing for it. Maybe there is no more meaning. Maybe meaning is impossible after KT's opposite of DE escalating recap song.
Maybe meaning is impossible after the discovery, the realization, the all too devastating truth that gods are all made up.
Hey, Will Pompeian. Here's an idea. Come meet Your made up God, Zo Berdia.
What a shitty rhyme. Will thinks to himself and Zulberdia and Eldon and spirit and gods and non gods and the absence thereof. All together now. Respond.
You made Zolberdia, and as a result, Zoberia became real. I forgive you. But you have to forgive yourself. You are good. You've shown you are good. You've always had this belief in you that you were bad. But you are not bad. You were never bad. Yes, you've made mistakes, but you are good to your friends. You will survive. You will get through. You reject help, but I will help you. Your friends will help you. Because you are more than the circumstances you are in. You are more than the fear that you feel.
You are more than a single recap of your life. You are all your recaps. Every recap you'll ever write. Every single one. Past and future, big and small, escalated and reduced, elaborate and scripted, unscripted, unplanned, musical, poemical and everything in between. You were the ebb. You were the flow. You were the silence and the sound. You are. You are.
They came together, they kissed. Eldon faded away.
But between the kissing and the railing and the promises we make, Will tumbled overboard and then.
[00:17:02] Speaker A: Oh, my God. Can I clap now? Is it done? Holy moly.
Oh, my God. Can you please send me it so I can read it? That was incredible. And oh, my God. Holy mout.
[00:17:15] Speaker D: At the end, just so you all know, it helped us. It helped us with the closure. If it all.
[00:17:19] Speaker A: A little bit. A little like. A little bit.
[00:17:21] Speaker D: The little like. Yes. Half.
[00:17:23] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:17:23] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:17:24] Speaker C: Also, was that your announcement? You're starting a SEAL podcast?
[00:17:34] Speaker F: God, it's so long that it wants me to send it as a text file.
[00:17:37] Speaker A: Oh, it's so amazing.
Where are you gonna. That was so good, Adam. Thank you.
[00:17:43] Speaker D: You showed off. You strutted all your stuff, man. That was great.
[00:17:46] Speaker A: Seriously.
[00:17:47] Speaker D: That was really great. That was really great. And I'm on deck next week. Wow.
[00:17:51] Speaker F: Yes. But here's. But the whole. But the whole point of this is it is it. It's a clean slate. It's catharsis. Everything is. We are now. Everything's fine and welcome again. We can do whatever we want.
[00:18:05] Speaker A: That.
[00:18:05] Speaker F: This. This was a. A prayer. This was a litany. This was a.
I don't know what it was, but we don't have to worry about escalation or de. Escalation anymore. We are perfect.
[00:18:16] Speaker D: We're ready to go. Yeah, exactly. We are accepted as we. As we. As our recaps are. I think what I'm going to do is drink bunch of sprite right before the podcast recording and then I'm gonna open my mouth to say my recap and I'm just gonna throw up.
[00:18:32] Speaker C: Right.
[00:18:33] Speaker A: I thought you said. I thought you were gonna say you were gonna open your mouth with the sprite in it and it was just gonna be like, we have to, like, interpret the bubbles popping like pop rocks.
[00:18:42] Speaker D: That's such a good idea.
Better than my vomit idea.
[00:18:46] Speaker A: No, the vomit's great too.
Read the recap within the Alphabet soup you ate earlier.
[00:18:52] Speaker D: I made this about me all of a sudden because I'm literally. Because I am worried about my own recap. But Adam, that was so great. I didn't mean to turn away from it.
[00:19:02] Speaker A: Thank you so much. That was so amazing. Like, holy moly.
[00:19:07] Speaker D: The very meta mixing of what's happening in the recap with what's happening in the. Whoa, I'm dizzy.
[00:19:15] Speaker F: It was. It was demanded. It was called for.
[00:19:17] Speaker D: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:19:18] Speaker F: This was me. Yes. Anding Katie's ridiculous recap.
[00:19:24] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
Oh, my gosh.
[00:19:28] Speaker E: I only objected to one part.
[00:19:31] Speaker F: Oh, yeah.
[00:19:33] Speaker E: I'm not sure that Bathpack isn't just a fuck up who blew a hole in the wall of his ship.
[00:19:42] Speaker F: He is that, but he is so much more.
[00:19:45] Speaker D: We clearly have work to do. We clearly have work to do. If that's what Alex got out of it.
[00:19:54] Speaker F: KT Astrophy.
[00:19:55] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, my God.
[00:19:57] Speaker D: It's pretty great.
It's pretty great.
[00:19:59] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, it was so. Because I felt bad, I was like, I didn't do this to like, be like, no, we gotta keep going. Like, it was. No, but there was a lot of time and I had wanted to start doing some drawings anyway and like, it kind of just. Because there were some very funny weird things that happen. I was just. I was very inspiring visually.
[00:20:19] Speaker F: And yeah, I was, like, nervous before starting that recap. Like, I was like, the way you like, before going on stage, the idea of ending with the beginning of that song.
I was like. I was like, this feels. This is so weird. But it feels so right.
[00:20:42] Speaker A: I love it. I love it. I know. Well, because that song has become kind of like its own meta joke or something. Like. But I. I know when it was out. What, in the 90s? Late 90s. I loved that song. I thought it was an awesome song. Like, so whatever. I don't care if it's weird. I think it's great. And I love it. Was beautifully performed.
[00:21:05] Speaker F: Thank you.
[00:21:06] Speaker A: Came out in 94 94. Okay, which. Which one. Which Batman movie was it for?
[00:21:11] Speaker C: Batman Returns Forever.
[00:21:13] Speaker A: Batman Forever. Batman Forever.
[00:21:15] Speaker C: It was actually first introduced in the film The Neverending Story 3.
[00:21:20] Speaker A: Wait, are you joking?
[00:21:21] Speaker C: Nope.
[00:21:21] Speaker A: Really? So it wasn't written for Batman.
[00:21:23] Speaker C: It was released as a single in 94 and included in the Neverending Story 3. And then it was used a year later in Batman Forever.
[00:21:30] Speaker A: Wow.
I. I don't think I've ever seen The Neverending Story 3.
[00:21:35] Speaker C: Jack Black's in it.
[00:21:36] Speaker A: That's so sad that I haven't seen it then. Jack Black plays a bully. Yeah. Like a teenage actor, probably. Yeah. That's great.
Wow.
[00:21:47] Speaker C: Yep.
[00:21:48] Speaker A: How do we, like, move forward without reading this and studying it and, like, dissecting it and say about it? He's just gonna take a nap. It's just so amazing.
You okay? Are you okay? I'm. I'm good.
[00:22:03] Speaker C: Oh, you're good.
[00:22:04] Speaker A: I'm just reading.
[00:22:05] Speaker D: Do.
[00:22:05] Speaker A: Are you okay?
[00:22:06] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:22:08] Speaker A: He's so okay.
[00:22:09] Speaker F: All right, we got a talent show to do.
[00:22:11] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:22:12] Speaker D: Yeah. Let's do some talenting.
[00:22:14] Speaker C: In the immediate present, though, Will has tumbled overboard and you heard a curse. Sploosh. From down below.
Can everybody do me a favor first, because I. There was a discrepancy that I wanted to clarify. I need Not Will. Everybody else.
Actually, no. Will can, too. Just to give me a baseline, give me just an initiative roll. We're not entering combat.
[00:22:45] Speaker A: What?
[00:22:46] Speaker C: It's just to determine something, and I'll tell you once you roll it, because I can do that. Because I'm capricious.
[00:22:53] Speaker A: What'd you say? Initiative. Just initiative.
[00:22:54] Speaker C: Just initiative Roll. Initiative.
[00:22:57] Speaker A: So normal.
I got a 20, but it's not a natural 20.
[00:23:03] Speaker C: I see that.
[00:23:05] Speaker D: I don't know where it is. Oh, here it is.
I've never played this game before.
[00:23:10] Speaker C: I don't make you guys fight enough is what that means.
[00:23:13] Speaker D: Hush.
[00:23:14] Speaker C: 21 for Rafina, eight for Roscoe.
[00:23:18] Speaker E: Oh, you want everyone to do it? Sorry, even I thought it was. I thought it was just wheel for some reason.
[00:23:23] Speaker C: You're part of us, Alex.
[00:23:24] Speaker A: It was the opposite of that. I was included afterwards as an afterthought.
[00:23:29] Speaker C: Messed up as afterbirth.
Is that it? Does the birth scene include any afterbirth in Prometheus?
All right, I was trying to determine when you all got up on deck, like, how much of what was said between Will and Zolberdia Eldin was heard. There's a specific thing that I wanted to determine, so based on these roles, Rafina is the only one that heard that Will created Zolbertia.
[00:24:10] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:24:14] Speaker C: I think that was the important distinction.
[00:24:17] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:24:18] Speaker C: So that happened relatively early in the conversation, and I think that's kind of important.
I'm assuming it's important for Will. Who knows?
[00:24:29] Speaker D: Will doesn't know who heard, though.
[00:24:30] Speaker C: No, no, no. He doesn't even know you guys were there until he fell off the boat.
[00:24:33] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:24:34] Speaker C: And then he only knew that Bathwack was there. Right there.
[00:24:36] Speaker A: Yeah. I don't think I saw everybody. I don't know. I know I saw him.
[00:24:41] Speaker C: You definitely did.
[00:24:42] Speaker A: Yeah. That's what made me.
[00:24:45] Speaker C: Anyway, so. Yeah, it's the middle of the night.
We're gonna start with everybody but Will. Oh, you're just down in the water.
[00:24:54] Speaker A: Yes.
I'll take good notes.
[00:24:58] Speaker C: Bathwack definitely saw. Everybody saw. But Bathwack was right there.
Oh, no.
[00:25:08] Speaker E: Can I look around real fast? Is there anyone else but us on the top deck?
[00:25:13] Speaker C: Give me a perception check.
[00:25:16] Speaker E: Of course.
[00:25:23] Speaker C: No.
He rolled a six.
[00:25:26] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:25:27] Speaker E: All right.
[00:25:28] Speaker D: The real answer is we don't know.
[00:25:31] Speaker E: I'm going to jump overboard.
[00:25:38] Speaker C: Okay.
What's everybody else?
[00:25:44] Speaker D: No, you're an expert swimmer. Why don't you go, too? Because bathpack is not bathwhat.
[00:25:48] Speaker C: Right now Mo jumps off.
[00:25:50] Speaker E: Bye, Rafina.
I have my boots on.
[00:25:59] Speaker C: So he passes you on the way down into the water. I'm assuming that's exactly what's gonna happen.
[00:26:04] Speaker E: I just wanted to get over that. My motivation. I wasn't gonna say it, but my motivation was I was gonna go over the rail in case someone's can see me, and then I'm gonna fly down.
[00:26:15] Speaker C: Sure.
[00:26:18] Speaker E: Now you just goaded Moe into diving.
[00:26:21] Speaker C: Yeah. Moe diving down. He turns and looks at you.
[00:26:24] Speaker A: Hi.
[00:26:25] Speaker F: Hell, I mean, if Moe's diving in, Roscoe's gonna dive in after.
[00:26:30] Speaker D: Really? Oh, no.
[00:26:31] Speaker A: We're all gonna drown.
[00:26:34] Speaker C: Do you? Cannonball.
[00:26:35] Speaker E: Guys, you're gonna miss the talent show.
[00:26:39] Speaker F: I think. I think we all should dive in. I think. I think that's appropriate.
[00:26:45] Speaker D: Rafina is just pondering what has been heard. She's confident that everyone is going to get Will just fine. She really is.
[00:26:53] Speaker C: Well, that was something. Was it, Rafina?
[00:26:55] Speaker D: Stormy. It's not stormy weather, right?
[00:26:59] Speaker C: No, no, it's fine. They'll be all right.
So how about whatever the hell just happened?
We'll got pretty crazy.
[00:27:10] Speaker D: I'm so glad that Will has love in his life.
[00:27:13] Speaker C: Oh, come on. We all love Will.
[00:27:16] Speaker D: Of course we do. But I don't think he acknowledges it. Like, he doesn't make himself vulnerable.
[00:27:21] Speaker C: Oh, I don't Know, around me, he kind of opens up sometimes. He and I have a special connection.
[00:27:26] Speaker D: Sure, sure.
Shimmy. So I. I really feel like there's something symbolic about him falling overboard and being captured by being held by the water. He's. He is floating, right?
[00:27:42] Speaker C: Oh, I don't know. He's down there.
[00:27:45] Speaker D: He's not like, at, you know, at the very bottom of the ocean, of the body of water.
[00:27:51] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:27:51] Speaker A: He jumps in.
[00:27:53] Speaker C: Oh, no. He might be sinking.
[00:27:57] Speaker A: He hadn't thought about that part.
[00:28:00] Speaker C: Yeah, it's. It's light enough. You can see him. I mean, he's far in the distance now. And you can see Bathwack zooming over toward him and Moe swimming over toward him. And is Roscoe swimming? Can Roscoe swim? Oh, yeah, he can. He's been in the water before.
[00:28:15] Speaker F: Go. Can. Swim, bathing. He's got those bathing suits.
[00:28:22] Speaker C: Oh, did you strip as you went?
[00:28:23] Speaker A: Oh, my God. Amazing. Baywatch style.
[00:28:27] Speaker F: He saw. He thought this was like a party, like where everybody's gonna jump in to the pool.
[00:28:32] Speaker C: Do you see him? Morphina, do you see him? I guess I'm looking.
[00:28:36] Speaker D: It's a little dark.
[00:28:38] Speaker C: Oh, come on. The moon's bright. Yeah, I could see it, but I can't tell how far he is. I don't have any depths, depth perceptions. No more.
[00:28:45] Speaker D: Feels really badly about that.
[00:28:48] Speaker C: Oh, come on. It's not your fault, Rafina.
[00:28:51] Speaker D: Well, it kind of is.
[00:28:52] Speaker C: No, it isn't.
[00:28:53] Speaker D: Slightly irresponsible in the matter.
[00:28:55] Speaker C: Yeah, come on. I'm an adult. I'm responsible for myself.
[00:28:59] Speaker D: That's wrong. But wait, I think I do see Will. Oh, look at that shiny wet blob over there.
[00:29:07] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. Or is that the. That blobby thing that you were talking about?
[00:29:13] Speaker D: No, look, you can see the. The mustache is gleaming in the moon.
[00:29:16] Speaker A: Oh, yeah.
[00:29:16] Speaker C: His most distinctive feature.
[00:29:18] Speaker D: It almost glows in the dark, in the moonlight.
[00:29:21] Speaker C: It's almost like if someone created Will and that also person. Mate. Had children. And anytime those kids saw a mustache, they said, will, no matter what. It's almost like that.
[00:29:31] Speaker D: It's truly almost like that. Yes. Okay. So do you think they need help? Are they doing okay?
[00:29:38] Speaker C: Yeah, they're fine. Should we go back down the stairs, have some cocoa? All right.
[00:29:42] Speaker F: Roscoe's gonna pull a. A Clarence from It's a Wonderful Life.
[00:29:47] Speaker A: Yes, I was lit.
[00:29:48] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:29:48] Speaker C: Adam.
[00:29:49] Speaker A: Oh, please help. Adam.
[00:29:51] Speaker B: Rafina. Rafa.
[00:29:52] Speaker A: Hell, Adam, you have to understand. I was going to say it feels like it's wonderful life when they all fall in the pool.
[00:29:59] Speaker F: Yeah, I Was thinking of that.
[00:30:00] Speaker A: Oh my God.
[00:30:01] Speaker F: Now I'm thinking of. Yeah, yeah.
[00:30:02] Speaker A: Else is going to think of that. But that's.
[00:30:04] Speaker F: Everyone jumps into that and then.
[00:30:05] Speaker B: But now he's going to be like, ra, help.
[00:30:12] Speaker D: Oh, no.
I'm gonna have to get this suit dry cleaned.
Just kidding. All right, we're coming. Why did you jump in Rosco? She says as she leaps in.
[00:30:28] Speaker C: Shimi doesn't jump in.
[00:30:32] Speaker F: Rafina, now you have to pull a clearance.
[00:30:36] Speaker D: No.
So as Rufina falls, her multicolored quilted dress sort of poofs up around her into a parachute. It doesn't like, slow her fall or anything. It's just very picturesque.
[00:30:50] Speaker C: It doesn't shoot up over her head?
[00:30:53] Speaker D: No, no. It's kind of stiff at the bottom, so it makes a little bit of a bell shape splash.
[00:31:01] Speaker C: All right, so Will, I don't know if you're listening. You hear a couple splashes. Yeah, three, to be specific though. Two and then one. Okay.
Bathwack, though, is probably gonna get to you first.
[00:31:15] Speaker A: Mm.
[00:31:16] Speaker C: So Bathwhack, you've taken flight and are zooming over the. The surface of the water, I'm assuming.
[00:31:23] Speaker E: Yeah, yeah. I mean, it looks like I'm just standing. It looks like I'm on a. Almost like on a surfboard.
Just kind of a surfboard of bats. Yeah. And. And sorry, the hand gesture was. Was an upside down V translating from across the screen.
[00:31:41] Speaker D: Oh.
[00:31:41] Speaker A: Like a hoverboard. Not like a surfboard, like you're in Back to the future.
[00:31:44] Speaker E: Three, like a hoverboard.
[00:31:45] Speaker A: You're Marty McFly.
[00:31:46] Speaker C: Isn't that too, like.
[00:31:47] Speaker A: Oh, it is, yeah. Three is the character.
[00:31:49] Speaker E: Like the boards that have the. The fin.
[00:31:51] Speaker C: Oh, the. The something foil the.
[00:31:54] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah.
[00:31:55] Speaker C: Hydrofoil maybe.
[00:31:56] Speaker D: Sure.
[00:31:57] Speaker E: You know what I'm talking about.
[00:31:58] Speaker C: I do.
[00:31:59] Speaker E: They come up out of the water. Yeah.
[00:32:00] Speaker C: You've seen pictures, you've seen videos. It's like a surfboard and it has like a big long thing on the bottom that like, you like, pump and like, can use.
[00:32:08] Speaker A: Just sent you something like that.
[00:32:09] Speaker C: I saw it recently together.
[00:32:10] Speaker A: I sent it to you because I was like, what's this? And you were like, oh, I've seen those before. And I was like, this is weird. What is this thing?
[00:32:16] Speaker D: It was so weird.
[00:32:17] Speaker A: I didn't think it was real.
[00:32:19] Speaker C: Yeah, well, Bathwick has one amazing.
[00:32:24] Speaker D: His long sword can be converted.
[00:32:26] Speaker C: Uh huh.
[00:32:27] Speaker D: Into a long board.
[00:32:29] Speaker A: Long sword board.
Well, Will is just floating.
[00:32:32] Speaker C: Yep, yep. So Bathwhack, you zoom up to Will.
[00:32:36] Speaker A: He's floating like on his back.
[00:32:38] Speaker E: Oh.
[00:32:39] Speaker C: Face down.
[00:32:39] Speaker A: Face down. He's doing the dead man's float.
I can do it forever. No, you guys, if we ever need to pretend somebody's drowned. You did a really good job.
[00:32:48] Speaker C: You could all just float somewhere.
[00:32:49] Speaker A: Yeah, we can all just float down to escape.
[00:32:52] Speaker E: I forgot. We can breathe in the water. I go back to the ship.
[00:32:56] Speaker A: Exactly.
[00:32:57] Speaker C: You're muted, Adam.
[00:33:00] Speaker A: Adam was muted.
[00:33:01] Speaker F: Yeah, I said bathwack. Doesn't give a.
[00:33:04] Speaker A: Exactly.
[00:33:07] Speaker E: I'll just. I'll just float right next to Will. Except I'm not in the water. I'm floating on my hoverboard.
Hey, Will.
[00:33:18] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:33:20] Speaker E: You know that Mo and Roscoe jumped in.
[00:33:26] Speaker C: That was Rafina.
[00:33:31] Speaker A: Why did they. They know I can fly, right? I can fly out here.
[00:33:36] Speaker E: You're not flying right now.
[00:33:37] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't need to. It's fine. This is lovely.
[00:33:41] Speaker B: Hey, this ain't no flying party. This is a swimming party.
[00:33:45] Speaker A: I go up. I go up, and I look at Roscoe. Like, he stops floating, and you hover.
[00:33:52] Speaker C: Out of the water.
[00:33:53] Speaker A: No, no, no. No swimming party. It's a swimming party. Okay, I join the swimming party. I right myself. Sorry, I didn't know how to say that.
[00:34:00] Speaker C: You're treading water now.
[00:34:01] Speaker A: Yeah, I was floating on my back. Now I'm treading water.
[00:34:04] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:34:04] Speaker A: Yeah, it is a swimming party.
[00:34:08] Speaker B: Like a good night swim.
[00:34:11] Speaker A: How many sharks are around us?
[00:34:14] Speaker C: Ah, let me check.
He just dives. Mo dives under the water.
[00:34:18] Speaker A: This is fresh water, Rafina. This is the kind of water you've been adding to your tea. This is why. One of the reasons why it tastes terrible.
[00:34:26] Speaker D: Brackish water.
[00:34:28] Speaker E: I'm gonna have to be wet or it's gonna be suspicious.
I fall in the water.
[00:34:33] Speaker B: Yeah.
Hey, this is great. This is great warm up. Great practice for tomorrow's talent show.
[00:34:41] Speaker D: Roscoe, why did you fall in and then cry help? Why did you jump in and then call help? And now you're having a party?
[00:34:47] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:34:49] Speaker F: Rafina's now swum up. Yeah.
Swam up, swimmed, swimmed up, swamped.
[00:34:56] Speaker D: Doggy paddled.
[00:34:58] Speaker B: Well, this is what they call in the circus world, a team building exercise.
And I think this was essential.
[00:35:15] Speaker F: For.
[00:35:16] Speaker B: The development of us as a cohesive team.
[00:35:23] Speaker C: I didn't see any sharks.
[00:35:25] Speaker B: Oh, thank God. I was worried. I was worried this team building exercise was gonna turn into, like, a bloodbath.
Oh, I'm so. I'm so relieved. All right, we can go back up on the ship.
[00:35:38] Speaker F: Who's gonna. How are we gonna do that?
[00:35:40] Speaker A: Why is Everyone in the water. Why is everyone even up here? Why?
[00:35:43] Speaker B: Well, you fell foist. Will.
[00:35:45] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:35:45] Speaker A: Why were you up here? It's like three in the morning.
[00:35:49] Speaker D: Why are you up here talking to some guy? Huh?
[00:35:53] Speaker A: Huh?
[00:35:54] Speaker D: That I might have heard things of what you said. Huh? Huh? Waggle Waggle eyebrows.
[00:36:00] Speaker B: Well, you know, we. We received a message that you might need our help. But when we came up, it seemed like you didn't need help at all. It seemed like you were getting some.
Oh, what?
[00:36:19] Speaker C: Urchin? Some o. Some Oikshoin Action. Got it.
[00:36:24] Speaker A: Does somebody translate? I don't know if Will understands. He's still like some ointment. Oh, Action.
[00:36:32] Speaker B: Yeah, that. Who was that hottie?
[00:36:39] Speaker A: I don't know.
[00:36:40] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:36:41] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:36:42] Speaker B: You don't kiss until.
[00:36:47] Speaker A: No. What? I. I don't know that it was.
What do you want to know? What do you want to know? Why you guys follow me everywhere? Can't even get. I. I wish it happened in the tent. But anyway, now that it was on the stage.
[00:37:03] Speaker C: I don't know what you.
[00:37:04] Speaker B: Want to tell us.
[00:37:05] Speaker A: I don't want to tell anyone anything.
[00:37:07] Speaker C: Oh. Okay.
[00:37:09] Speaker A: Thank.
[00:37:10] Speaker B: Say no more. I think it's fine. I think we all should go back to our rooms and get some rest.
[00:37:17] Speaker C: I was resting.
[00:37:19] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:37:21] Speaker F: Why?
[00:37:22] Speaker B: I. I have to work on these. On this script some more.
[00:37:25] Speaker D: Well, I've got to go ring out all my hair.
[00:37:27] Speaker A: People came. He said that people came.
[00:37:30] Speaker D: We.
[00:37:30] Speaker A: We heard that you needed help. From who?
[00:37:33] Speaker F: He said we received a message. But would this Will want to ask more about that?
[00:37:38] Speaker A: Yeah, that's what he would probably ask. Like who. What message? Was somebody else? What's. What is happening on the ship? Was it the. Oh, was it the ferret? I guess I could say ferret out here. Maybe he can't hear me.
[00:37:49] Speaker D: It was a ferret.
[00:37:51] Speaker B: It was unsigned, but I think. I mean, it happened in much the same way that we got those messages on the dice and then the soup.
[00:38:00] Speaker E: Will, I'll see if I still have the note in my wet pocket.
[00:38:06] Speaker F: Wet pocket's gonna be my next OkCupid user man.
[00:38:09] Speaker E: Ew.
[00:38:12] Speaker F: Wet pocket.
[00:38:14] Speaker A: Wet pocket.
Amazing. But so gross.
Now we gotta draw that. I'm gonna draw a wet pocket. An ad for Adam. An ad for Adam.
[00:38:29] Speaker D: Adam.
[00:38:30] Speaker C: All right. You fish out this soggy note.
The ink doesn't seem to be running.
[00:38:40] Speaker E: Magic ink here, Will.
I think you'll recognize the handwriting they hand it to.
[00:38:46] Speaker A: Snatch it. Because I think it's mine. Because we had that handwriting thing before. Something weird. But then I like. I Guess I would recognize the handwriting. But it's also signed, right? I'm pretty sure you had said. You said love, Eldon.
On.
[00:39:02] Speaker D: On the letter.
[00:39:03] Speaker A: Literally.
I know. They're saying it's unsigned. I thought they were just saying that to keep the information from me. I'm used to that.
[00:39:11] Speaker F: No, the message said yes. Wait, no, it said.
[00:39:16] Speaker A: It's. It said love. Yeah.
[00:39:18] Speaker F: Love, Eldon. Okay, your friend Will needs you. Come. Come to the upper deck and observe, but do not intervene. Love, Eldon.
[00:39:25] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:39:25] Speaker E: Okay.
[00:39:26] Speaker D: Okay. So I guess I would have had to roll. Deception.
I will say instead, it was mysteriously signed.
[00:39:34] Speaker A: Okay, so you wouldn't have, like. You wouldn't have la. Or you wouldn't. You would just not intentionally know. Okay.
[00:39:44] Speaker D: Yeah. And it doesn't matter because you're going to see it on death.
[00:39:47] Speaker C: And you do. And you do recognize the handwriting.
[00:39:51] Speaker A: Mm. What is this paper? Is it like magic paper? What does it look like?
[00:39:56] Speaker C: It just looks like a scrap of.
[00:39:57] Speaker A: Paper, but the ink isn't running.
[00:39:58] Speaker C: The paper itself is, like, dissolving in the water, like you would expect paper to normally behave when it gets all wet.
[00:40:08] Speaker A: I think I shoot up out of the water and float above it in an effort to keep it out of the water.
[00:40:14] Speaker C: Okay. I mean, it was. I mean, at this point, it was out. I'm assuming you were holding it out of the water.
[00:40:19] Speaker A: Where did this come from?
[00:40:23] Speaker C: I don't know. I didn't get one.
[00:40:25] Speaker E: I don't know. It was just in my pocket.
I was resting and it was in my pocket.
You know who wrote it?
[00:40:35] Speaker A: Yeah, I know who wrote it. It's signed.
[00:40:38] Speaker C: Who it from? I didn't get one.
[00:40:40] Speaker A: You don't. It's just from the. The Zolberdia. Oh, yeah.
[00:40:45] Speaker C: You get letter from God. All of you, and you kiss God. Mo. Jealous.
Do I usually refer to myself in third person? I don't think so. That's how jealous I am.
[00:40:59] Speaker D: Well, I think you need to do a little processing of this evening. It seems like it was a big deal, so let's. I think we should go and rest. We have a big day tomorrow. We have a lot of talent showing and dealing with ferrets to handle.
[00:41:16] Speaker A: Yeah. What are we gonna do about this ferret?
[00:41:19] Speaker D: It's three in the morning.
[00:41:21] Speaker A: Yeah. And he's. When we get back on that boat, I think he can hear everything we say and watch everything we do. Maybe I want to float out here all night and get hypothermia and die.
[00:41:33] Speaker D: Are you really sad right now, Will?
[00:41:35] Speaker A: No, I'M actually. I am. And, like, he'll touch his lips for a second and then realize he's touching his lips and be like, I'm fine. I am actually, actually fine.
[00:41:45] Speaker D: I know.
[00:41:47] Speaker A: I know what you know.
[00:41:50] Speaker D: I know you're fine.
Yeah. You have a glow. It might just be the water glistening on your mustache, but you have a glow.
[00:42:01] Speaker A: This is. This has resolved nothing. I don't know. I'm not glow. Fine.
[00:42:05] Speaker E: Sure.
[00:42:06] Speaker A: I don't know.
[00:42:06] Speaker E: Is Will actually glowing? He got kissed by a God. You never know. Will.
[00:42:11] Speaker A: Oh, guys.
[00:42:12] Speaker E: You guys, get a little closer.
[00:42:14] Speaker D: Let's go.
[00:42:15] Speaker E: Get a little closer to Will. Look at his mustache.
[00:42:17] Speaker D: Can someone please fly me up to the ship?
[00:42:19] Speaker A: I do this to you?
[00:42:20] Speaker E: Sure.
[00:42:22] Speaker A: Wave my hand very in front of your nose.
[00:42:26] Speaker C: He doesn't have a nose.
[00:42:27] Speaker E: I'll fly Rafinha to the ship.
[00:42:28] Speaker A: He has nostrils.
[00:42:29] Speaker C: Sure.
[00:42:30] Speaker A: I'm. I'm assuming I'm gonna have to help Roscoe out of the water. Moe has been climbing up and down this ship.
[00:42:36] Speaker C: But do you want to take Roscoe, or do you want me to take him?
[00:42:39] Speaker A: Oh, I can fly. Roscoe. What do you want? How do you want to get back up on the boat?
[00:42:46] Speaker B: I'll defy to you.
[00:42:50] Speaker A: Why?
[00:42:53] Speaker C: Because you kiss God. You like, in charge for sure now.
[00:42:57] Speaker A: I wasn't in charge now. I'm in charge for sure now. That's. That is. That's like a crown on, like.
[00:43:04] Speaker C: It's hard to tell.
It's like nepotism.
[00:43:07] Speaker A: I don't know. It's just. That doesn't make it. Don't.
[00:43:10] Speaker C: Was that just. Was that person you kiss your dad?
[00:43:13] Speaker A: No. God, no. It's just.
[00:43:16] Speaker C: Nepo come from root, meaning baby.
[00:43:19] Speaker A: Okay, sure. No, it's. No, not. He's not my dad.
[00:43:23] Speaker B: I'm just Sugar daddy, maybe.
[00:43:29] Speaker A: No.
[00:43:30] Speaker B: Stick and move. Stick a move.
[00:43:32] Speaker A: But you know, Mo, you shouldn't just follow people for random reasons.
[00:43:38] Speaker C: That wasn't random. You kiss God.
[00:43:41] Speaker A: Will is like his. Every time he calls him a God, he's just feeling bad right now. It's just like he just keeps going. Yeah, yeah, but I think that happens. Probably. Paladins do it all the time. That's how they get their stupid powers. Yeah, see, I'm not a paladin, okay? So it just. I think things happen in this weird world where gods are everywhere and everyone can just either a ferret or make out with some floating thing on a boat.
[00:44:09] Speaker C: I didn't do either.
[00:44:11] Speaker A: Oh, it may be. I don't know. We just need to find you the right person.
I don't know, Mo. You never even really expressed anything like that. I don't know what I'm trying to do. Roscoe, let's get Roscoe out of the water.
[00:44:23] Speaker C: Okay. Come on, Roscoe. Let me.
[00:44:26] Speaker D: Thank you.
[00:44:27] Speaker B: Help.
[00:44:28] Speaker C: Don't shout that unless you mean it.
[00:44:31] Speaker B: Well, you're about to help me, right?
[00:44:33] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:44:34] Speaker B: Well, then help.
[00:44:37] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:44:38] Speaker B: And I'm warning you. Me, if you're trying to imagine an alternate world where you don't exist, stop it.
[00:44:50] Speaker C: I wasn't.
[00:44:53] Speaker B: Okay, good.
[00:44:55] Speaker C: Yeah. Okay, come on. And he puts one arm, like, under your armpit, like, around your back, and he swims back to the boat, and he just starts climbing the side of the boat holding Roscoe.
[00:45:09] Speaker A: Holy crap.
I do this thing where I'm like, should I offer to. And I'm just.
[00:45:15] Speaker C: You almost touched Roscoe's butt 10 times.
[00:45:16] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm like, I don't. I don't want to, but also, I'm here.
[00:45:21] Speaker D: Ow.
[00:45:21] Speaker B: My gluteal stabbage.
[00:45:23] Speaker C: Oh, sorry.
[00:45:26] Speaker A: We'll be up soon.
Gluteal stabbage. I fly away. I fly up and over the rail.
[00:45:33] Speaker C: Yeah, he fell on my knife. Wait, it wasn't my knife. I don't know. That was weird, that whole situation. Let's not talk about it again.
[00:45:42] Speaker F: Poor Eric.
[00:45:47] Speaker C: Hey, everyone, if you like what you hear, please leave us a kind review wherever you listen to us. Also, consider supporting us by subscribing to us on ko [email protected] supportpfd where you can gain access to lots of exclusive treats and behind the scenes goodies. Thanks for listening and we'll see you next time.
