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Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: You're listening to the show about not talking about D and d, but playing D and d. It's pork fried dice.
I'm Eric, and I'm the dungeon master.
[00:00:13] Speaker B: I'm Abby, and I play Rufina.
[00:00:16] Speaker C: I'm Alex, and I play batblack.
[00:00:19] Speaker D: I'm kt, and I play will.
[00:00:22] Speaker E: I'm Adam, and I play Roscoe.
[00:00:28] Speaker A: Hold on to your haversacks. Let's roll.
[00:00:34] Speaker D: Cause I like being cold, and I like the cold, and I like the winter, and I like the fall. And now all of a sudden, my body's like, no, you're an old person. It's like. Or I'm a reptile or something.
[00:00:47] Speaker B: I like the voice of your body, though. That's very charming. Gnome voice.
[00:00:51] Speaker A: Is that it's actual voice, or is it just making fun of you being old?
[00:00:56] Speaker D: I don't know.
[00:00:57] Speaker A: Or is it because it's old? That's its voice.
[00:01:00] Speaker D: I was. I was playing it as. Because it's old. It's just. Yeah.
[00:01:04] Speaker E: Inside the actor's studio. Can I speak to old katie's body?
[00:01:11] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:01:13] Speaker F: Ah. Sublime.
[00:01:20] Speaker A: Previously on pork Fried Dice.
[00:01:34] Speaker E: Oh, no way.
I. Oh, my God.
[00:01:48] Speaker G: Love of mine, I'm not sure those words apply. Cause you have left me behind along with some guy named gnar. You'd probably laugh at my absurd social gaffe falling into Kick's lap. This is why I don't do bars. If gullies and Green decides that it can take away my pride, flip me upside down, see what my pockets provide.
A letter to a knighthood with no postmark.
It might help explain my story's arc.
An albatross notices. Roscoe's thoughts are treated with some brown sauce. What the coyote ever do to you? And what are you so Roscoe about?
But then a secret slips out that bathwack is up and about, but the bird God already knew.
Then a sound is made that Eric will resolve in a decade.
Sniffle sort of cry that mirrored Rufina's dismay.
And while the bird is looking for the sound unexplained, Roscoe uses that to sneak away Valencio. And Kick gently rocked by Rufina's foot flicks as she talks about her pirate. And she grabs the sole of my shoe. What timeline would you choose? Kick assumes I have something to lose. After all these battles and coups, Bathwhack will have his family.
But who will they be?
If we know how things end, should we move on? Or can we just pretend? And when things end for stupid reasons, can we ever make amends. A most confusing thing is that I don't see stars.
It's bright midday, it isn't dark.
[00:04:17] Speaker D: So.
[00:04:18] Speaker G: Why does it feel so fucking dark?
Adam.
[00:04:25] Speaker D: That's the nicest reaction.
He's grabbing his heart.
[00:04:32] Speaker E: Oh, my God.
[00:04:33] Speaker D: KT.
Thank you.
[00:04:37] Speaker E: I'm gonna cry.
Okay. That was so good.
[00:04:42] Speaker D: Oh, thank you.
[00:04:44] Speaker E: I love that song. I associate it deeply with the deaths of my grandparents my freshman year of college.
Like, I. Like, when I was listening, would listen to it. I was thinking about, like, because. Yeah, after my grandma died, my grandfather went, like, months later, so I was like, death, so it is very, like. It is very moving song for me. And you made it, like, so moving and beautiful for will, too.
[00:05:09] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:05:10] Speaker D: Like this. Oh, and.
[00:05:12] Speaker E: And also, I will say I came very close to doing a I will follow you into the dark song parody recap for the session where we, like, we're going through the mirrors. The crazy mirrors.
[00:05:26] Speaker B: Oh, no.
[00:05:27] Speaker E: I went back and I found some of the. Like, I literally have some of the rough draft lyrics. No blinding light just a tunnel covered in puke.
If the captain coyote decides.
If the captive eating coyote decides he wants to eat us.
It's so funny. I ultimately. Right. That's. I decided to do the brick in.
[00:05:52] Speaker D: The wall one, which I think was.
[00:05:53] Speaker E: Much more appropriate, but, like. Well, that's because I think I had Roscoe do the, like, I will follow you into the dark, like, joke or whatever, but, yeah. Oh, my God. I'm so glad you did that.
[00:06:02] Speaker F: It's amazing.
[00:06:03] Speaker B: It was so lovely.
[00:06:06] Speaker D: Thank you.
[00:06:09] Speaker E: Why does it feel so fucking dark?
[00:06:11] Speaker D: So that was in reference to the fact that we all kept thinking it was nighttime.
[00:06:15] Speaker E: Yeah, yeah. But then you turned it into this, like, really fucking good.
[00:06:19] Speaker B: Poignant.
[00:06:20] Speaker D: Well, like, that's how it felt. Like, it felt so.
[00:06:24] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:06:25] Speaker D: I don't know. Like, it was definitely. It was at night, but it wasn't. It was bright ass.
[00:06:31] Speaker A: Bright ass day.
[00:06:33] Speaker E: That was so good. Well done.
[00:06:35] Speaker D: I loved, like, what are you so Roscoe about? And stuff, you know what I mean? That was great.
[00:06:41] Speaker E: Oh, yeah. Can you drop the lyrics?
[00:06:43] Speaker D: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Game notes.
I have lots of things.
[00:06:48] Speaker B: Katie does such a good job with rhyming. Like, it sounds silly, but I'm always amazed at the.
[00:06:53] Speaker A: Got it.
[00:06:54] Speaker B: I found it poetic nature of the.
[00:06:57] Speaker D: Well. And I. The thing that I, like, I get so excited by when I can, like, use the original lyrics in a way that is, like, that still applies.
[00:07:06] Speaker E: Yes.
[00:07:07] Speaker D: Yes. Like, there was one that I really liked. Oh, like, grab. Cause Rufina didn't actually grab the sole of Will's shoe. She grabbed his pants. But, you know, all of your shoes are all worn down. Like, I mean, like, I love that. And there was some. I don't know. Do you have them? Did you send them?
[00:07:27] Speaker A: I put them. Yes.
[00:07:28] Speaker D: Oh, thank you.
[00:07:29] Speaker A: Do you want to see that?
[00:07:30] Speaker B: Oh, love it.
[00:07:31] Speaker E: The emoji after gnar. That's great.
[00:07:34] Speaker A: I just copied it.
[00:07:39] Speaker E: Kelly Sangreen decides that it can take away my pride.
[00:07:46] Speaker D: Yeah, that was when I said that. That was when I turned. So I was singing this. I had just come up with the lyrics, and Eric had been. Had come down from a meeting or lunch or for lunch, and I was like, can I just sing this to you and I'll play the music behind. And I was, like, reading the lyrics, and then I finished that, and I turned, and Eric's eyes were, like, brimming with tears. He was just looking at me like he really didn't. Like. There's something. You said something about the letter to the night hag is what you didn't. With no postmark. Yeah, you didn't. You were, like, emotional about that.
Sweet. Thank you.
[00:08:29] Speaker E: Wonderful.
[00:08:32] Speaker D: And I had to reference the weird moment where something will be resolved in ten years, you said.
[00:08:37] Speaker E: Right.
[00:08:39] Speaker D: So weird. I don't know what.
[00:08:40] Speaker E: The sound from under the bed.
[00:08:41] Speaker D: Yeah.
It was like a sniffle. It was a sniffle.
[00:08:46] Speaker E: Oh, yeah.
[00:08:47] Speaker D: Yeah. And I'm like, how does that ten years?
What is. What, like, what could it be? It's gotta be some endgame thing.
[00:08:55] Speaker A: Optimistic. We'll see.
[00:08:57] Speaker D: 15 years.
[00:08:58] Speaker E: Yeah, that's a. The last. The very last note in my. In my there and back again journal is lacrosse. Albatross looks under the bed and Roscoe runs. Giggling away.
[00:09:10] Speaker D: Yeah, giggling. Giggling and sweating is what I had. The very last thing that happened.
[00:09:15] Speaker B: Really?
[00:09:16] Speaker F: I don't remember that.
[00:09:16] Speaker D: Roscoe, he said, running and giggling, comma, sweating.
[00:09:24] Speaker E: He's still pretty high, I think.
[00:09:26] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah. You were definitely playing it like that, but also, like, you were kind of disconcerted about the bird a little bit and the birds trying to chase. He said, hey, where'd you go? And, like, chasing you. And you giggle and sweating and running. Yeah.
[00:09:39] Speaker A: So that's good place.
[00:09:40] Speaker E: Holding his hat.
[00:09:41] Speaker A: Oh, yeah.
[00:09:43] Speaker E: Like, slow motion. Like, I just picturing, like, a scene of, like, a, like, grown men running away from.
From antics.
[00:09:53] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:09:54] Speaker A: So that's a good place to start. Roscoe, you're running away from the cross. Albatross, where are you running?
[00:10:04] Speaker E: I guess I'm running to find the group.
[00:10:06] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:10:07] Speaker E: I knew. Roscoe knows that they were gonna. They were going above.
[00:10:10] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:10:10] Speaker E: Up to play games and stuff. Right.
[00:10:13] Speaker A: Or to get drunk.
[00:10:15] Speaker E: Or to get drunk.
[00:10:16] Speaker A: Yeah, but above deck.
So you, um.
You pelt down the carpeted hallway. Your muffled footsteps pound. Pounding. I keep saying pounding.
[00:10:31] Speaker D: No, you said pelting.
[00:10:32] Speaker E: Oh, yeah, you said pelting. I'm not raining.
[00:10:35] Speaker D: You're just thinking about pounding.
That sound echoed in your head. He disagreed.
[00:10:48] Speaker A: So you fuck your way down the hallway.
Wait, what?
And you get to the stairs, and.
And up pops Roscoe on to the main deck. Even though, you know, you saw the sunlight streaming through your porthole, you're still surprised that it's the middle of the day. You thought it'd be dark once you got up here and you see Valencio and kick laying back in a lifeboat, Rufina underneath, pretending to sleep.
Mo is over near the prow of the boat, running around, leaning off the side.
Actually, he is climbing up on deck. It looked like he maybe had jumped off into the water and then climbed back up on the side of the boat.
Captain clockface is up here. Nar is there. He's over talking to Shimi about something.
So if anybody's paying attention, Roscoe is there.
[00:12:04] Speaker F: I'm Roscoe Laflourghe. Oh, good. Oh, good. A few of you are already hiding. Okay. Oh, we gotta hide. Everyone hide. Everyone find hikes.
[00:12:15] Speaker A: I think. I think we should hide.
[00:12:17] Speaker F: I think this could be legitimately dangerous, but all kind of fun, but maybe both. Everyone hide. I'll be getting here with you guys.
[00:12:24] Speaker E: And he tries to get inside the boat with kick and Valencia.
[00:12:28] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:12:29] Speaker A: Is there room in here?
[00:12:30] Speaker F: Guys, scooch over.
[00:12:33] Speaker D: Does he fall in on us?
[00:12:34] Speaker A: I don't know.
[00:12:36] Speaker D: Yeah, Raska's trying to get out of the way. I don't know what's happening.
[00:12:39] Speaker A: I think a lifeboat would be big.
[00:12:40] Speaker D: Enough for you three, so I'm starting to get alarmed a little bit.
[00:12:46] Speaker F: Everyone.
She. Me. No, clock face.
The other one.
[00:12:57] Speaker D: The other one.
[00:13:00] Speaker F: Oh, yeah. Mo.
[00:13:02] Speaker B: What?
[00:13:04] Speaker F: Hide, quick. There's a cross albatross coming for us. I think maybe I ran away.
[00:13:11] Speaker D: So probably.
[00:13:15] Speaker A: Mo just jumps off the side of the boat again.
[00:13:17] Speaker D: Oh. What?
[00:13:18] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:13:19] Speaker D: Okay, bye.
[00:13:20] Speaker E: Mo, didn't we talk extensively last session about how you're not supposed to do that? Yeah, kt's constantly warning their children, like, don't ever jump off a moving boat.
[00:13:30] Speaker D: Yeah. Yup. Specifically, he's doing that to torture me.
Yeah, no, I think, like, I'm balanced in between. Like, he's. He's at first, he seems alarmed, and he's, like, telling us to hide. So I'm, like, moving over, making room for him, and then I'm trying to peek up, and then he says to hide, so I'm just like, but he says, it's a bird. Or I'm like, isn't that a bird? What's across? Albatross.
[00:13:53] Speaker B: What's across?
[00:13:53] Speaker D: Albatross.
[00:13:54] Speaker F: It's across. Albatross.
[00:13:58] Speaker D: I peek an eye over, like, how dangerous is this?
[00:14:03] Speaker E: How are. How are nar and shimi responding? Mo jumped off.
[00:14:09] Speaker A: They're both looking over at you with your feet sticking up into the air. I'm assuming you just dove headfirst into this boat.
[00:14:16] Speaker E: Yeah, I don't know how good a job I'm doing of hiding. If this warrants a stealth check or.
[00:14:21] Speaker A: Nothing, I guess you could try to make one. Let's see how good you do.
[00:14:27] Speaker E: All right, I'll do a stealth check.
[00:14:29] Speaker F: Roscoe is hiding from a God.
Oh, my. Stealth isn't great.
[00:14:38] Speaker A: That's good.
[00:14:38] Speaker E: Public roll.
[00:14:41] Speaker A: 14 stealth.
So, yeah, the way that you dive into the boat kind of swings back and forth, and kik and Valencio kind of end up on top of you, so you're actually hiding pretty well in.
[00:14:55] Speaker D: The boat.
[00:14:59] Speaker A: As the bodies settle.
[00:15:01] Speaker E: Nice.
[00:15:02] Speaker D: Nice. All right.
[00:15:03] Speaker A: The wood creaks ominously above you. Rufina.
[00:15:07] Speaker D: Oh. Oh, God.
[00:15:09] Speaker A: Do I have a sound?
[00:15:10] Speaker B: Does anyone remember why I was pretending to be asleep?
[00:15:14] Speaker A: I think we'll ask you a difficult question.
[00:15:16] Speaker D: Yeah, something like that. And you snore it.
[00:15:20] Speaker B: That's right. Okay, thank you. Yes, I remember pretending to snore.
[00:15:23] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:15:24] Speaker E: So Roscoe's lying there under Kekka Valencia, and he's, like. He's still, like, sweaty, and his eyes are wide. He looks horrified.
[00:15:32] Speaker D: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Then it sounds like it's some. Where am I? Is he on top of me? Like, is like, are we in a full on pile, or are we both on top of him?
[00:15:41] Speaker A: No, you're on top of him.
[00:15:42] Speaker D: No, but I'm saying is, did bathrock fall on top of me?
[00:15:44] Speaker A: No, no, you, like, kind of both collapse. Collapse over him.
[00:15:47] Speaker D: Well, I'm trying to write myself, okay? I'm like, if something is coming, this is the loudest, creakiest piece of wood I've ever heard. They're gonna find us anyway. And I look up. I try to look up to see who's following us and what else everyone is doing. Like.
[00:16:02] Speaker A: Uh huh. Uh, Shimi is coming over to you guys. Um, he says, what's going on?
[00:16:08] Speaker D: What are we hiding from across albatross? I don't know. I don't know. Roscoe looks really scared.
[00:16:14] Speaker A: That's what I thought. A mad bird.
[00:16:17] Speaker D: I don't know. Oh, is this one of those. Is it one of the. Wait a second. Is it one of the main, like, don't. They'll rhyme.
[00:16:25] Speaker A: Who?
[00:16:27] Speaker D: Wait. No, it's a very.
[00:16:28] Speaker B: The God says, rufina.
[00:16:30] Speaker D: It's not that they don't rhyme well.
[00:16:32] Speaker F: I think it's usually alliteration, but this one seems to be assonance.
[00:16:36] Speaker B: Oh, fuck assonance.
[00:16:39] Speaker D: Why are you so scared? What is it doing?
[00:16:44] Speaker E: I don't know.
[00:16:45] Speaker F: It seems. It seems mad. It seems crossed that we're heading in the direction of Gully's hand, and I might have given away to it. Let bandwax alive.
[00:16:57] Speaker E: What?
[00:16:58] Speaker F: But I think it already knew.
[00:17:00] Speaker D: We have to kill it. We have to kill it or something like that.
[00:17:04] Speaker F: I don't think we're supposed to kill albatrosses.
I think I learned that from a play.
But it can't cut the rhyme of the ancient maranoi marinoi.
[00:17:17] Speaker B: But it knows that kind of sauce on my spaghetti.
[00:17:20] Speaker D: It knows about pathwack.
Is that true?
[00:17:25] Speaker F: I think so.
And it was talking circles around me, theologically.
[00:17:35] Speaker D: I look at Bathwag or kick.
We have to do something.
[00:17:42] Speaker B: I'm gonna talk to this bird. Guys, Rufina crawls up from under the boat. Don't worry. Leave me.
[00:17:48] Speaker F: Don't tell him where I am. Don't tell him I'm here. Tell him I'm gone.
[00:17:53] Speaker D: Don't worry, Roscoe.
[00:17:55] Speaker B: I won't tell him where you are.
[00:17:57] Speaker F: Let's fake my death now, too. Let's fake my death now, too.
[00:18:01] Speaker B: That was much too complicated. We don't have time to plan your fake death.
[00:18:07] Speaker D: Somebody's got to get Roscoe into another place or put a, let's say, sock down his mouth.
[00:18:13] Speaker B: Is this really.
[00:18:14] Speaker F: Let's say that I'm the one that jumped off the boat and that I'm actually mo in disguise.
[00:18:21] Speaker D: Okay, we will. I'm looking around. So is this thing approached? Yeah.
[00:18:27] Speaker B: Is there an angry bird approaching?
[00:18:30] Speaker D: Yeah, that's what we're angry.
[00:18:32] Speaker A: No, nobody sees any angry.
[00:18:34] Speaker C: Laying on my back on top of Roscoe, looking up at the sky. There's nothing to worry about, guys.
[00:18:41] Speaker A: You hear?
[00:18:42] Speaker C: There's nothing to worry about, guys.
I mean, everything's good.
[00:18:46] Speaker A: You hear a skittering sound coming from the side of the boat, like, behind where you guys are sitting. Like, not the lifeboat the ship, like, from down the side of the ship.
And it seems to be approaching.
[00:19:00] Speaker E: Did you say a scurrying, skittering, not a fucking fucking sound?
[00:19:06] Speaker A: No, there's no pounding involved.
[00:19:08] Speaker D: No pounding.
[00:19:10] Speaker A: And from over the side of the boat pops up. Mo.
[00:19:18] Speaker B: It'S a God.
The cross albatross is a God.
[00:19:21] Speaker D: Oh, wherever.
[00:19:23] Speaker B: Why did you pop off the boat?
[00:19:24] Speaker A: Wait. They said to hide.
[00:19:27] Speaker B: Oh, well, that was very obedient of you. Can you help me find the cross albatross so we can talk to it?
[00:19:33] Speaker A: Sure.
[00:19:34] Speaker F: Okay, let's go, Rafina, before you go. What? Kick, kick.
[00:19:39] Speaker C: Hey, Roscoe.
[00:19:41] Speaker F: Roscoe. What?
[00:19:43] Speaker C: Did you have a good swim?
Oh, it's not talking to you.
[00:19:47] Speaker F: Hey, Roscoe, do you have good swim?
[00:19:52] Speaker E: We all look suggestively at Mo.
[00:19:56] Speaker F: Hey, Roscoe, did you have good swim?
[00:20:00] Speaker A: Uh, well, um.
We have to find the bird.
[00:20:09] Speaker D: We have to find this thing before it says anything to anyone else. Is anyone of the part not like the non party around us? Like, is this is the stupid gnar guy anywhere near us?
[00:20:19] Speaker A: Gnar is on the other side. He's got his arms sort of on the railing of the boat. And he looks. Seem to be. He's not even looking at you guys. He's, like, looking off at the shore in the far, far distance.
[00:20:31] Speaker F: Ravina, the only other thing you need to know about this cross albatross guy is that he is a captive eating coyote apologist.
The worst thing you can be. He also said that he likes carnivore.
[00:20:52] Speaker D: I'm struggling to get out of this boat. I have to get out of here. I have to go find this bird.
[00:20:57] Speaker B: Before you're struggling to be fair.
[00:20:59] Speaker C: Sorry, Mo. Roscoe's right here.
[00:21:03] Speaker F: No, I mean. Oh.
[00:21:09] Speaker B: To be fair, of course a bird is going to love carnivals. They get. You know, they. People drop popcorn all over the place.
You have to give him some leeway to just be himself.
[00:21:23] Speaker F: I'm just gonna lie here. I'm just gonna lie here. You guys deal with the cross albatross. Just maybe toy me over because I'm pretty high. Yeah, I took some drugs.
[00:21:35] Speaker B: Rufina gives a really sharp swing to the boat.
It goes upside down.
[00:21:41] Speaker D: Okay, do I have to do a strength check?
[00:21:45] Speaker A: Yeah, give me a strength check.
[00:21:47] Speaker D: Three grown.
[00:21:48] Speaker A: Well, will's trying to get out, so that may help. We'll see.
[00:21:52] Speaker D: I'm on my way out. The boat just tumbles over.
[00:21:55] Speaker B: My strength checks are usually very bad.
[00:21:59] Speaker E: Roll 20 is really laggy for me tonight.
[00:22:01] Speaker B: It's weird, right?
[00:22:03] Speaker A: That is a 17.
[00:22:06] Speaker B: Oh, good time.
[00:22:07] Speaker A: All right. What sound does Rufina make when she pushes the boat?
I thought it was going to sound like this.
[00:22:20] Speaker B: Yes, actually, that may be more appropriate. I may have to retroactively replace that.
[00:22:27] Speaker A: So, yeah, Rufina gives it a big shove just right as Will is kind of, like, up on the lip of it, like, kind of tilting that way himself. And so that all that combined, this boat swings backwards. It clocks mo right in the face. He goes, knocks him overboard. Yeah. Flying off into the water. Might have a sound for that.
[00:22:56] Speaker E: Yes.
[00:22:58] Speaker A: Yeah. Or will kind of sounds like mo. He really does. And. Yeah. Kick.
Will. Wait. Kick. Valencio. Jesus Christ. You guys and Roscoe. Thank you. Roscoe collapse once.
[00:23:16] Speaker D: Roscoe's isn't the name confusion.
[00:23:21] Speaker A: Tumble out of the boat on top of Rufina.
[00:23:26] Speaker D: All right. Hooray.
[00:23:27] Speaker B: So who tumbles on top of me? Will. Does.
[00:23:29] Speaker A: Valencio. Kick. And Roscoe.
[00:23:31] Speaker B: Sorry. Yes. Okay. Whoever they are. Yes.
[00:23:33] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly.
[00:23:34] Speaker B: All three of them.
[00:23:35] Speaker C: Big pile. Yeah.
[00:23:36] Speaker A: Uh huh.
[00:23:36] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:23:37] Speaker C: Stacked up. Yeah.
[00:23:43] Speaker D: I try to get up as soon as I can. I feel like I stumbled pretty far. Can I? Because I was on my way out of the boat. Can I roll a check to see if I can right myself before the boat flies and kicks everybody?
[00:23:56] Speaker A: Sure. Give me a deck save.
[00:24:00] Speaker D: I wish I could, but I can't sign into my account, and I don't know what's going on. That's my struggle right now.
[00:24:05] Speaker E: Now they tell us. Yeah.
[00:24:09] Speaker D: Oh, thank you. All right. Oh, fancy. But I don't know what my.
[00:24:13] Speaker A: I'll get it. I can load it.
[00:24:17] Speaker D: I rolled another natural one. That's a natural one.
[00:24:20] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh.
[00:24:21] Speaker D: I am rolling natural ones just over.
[00:24:24] Speaker C: And over again into the drink.
[00:24:25] Speaker D: Holy crap.
Well, I asked for it, didn't I?
[00:24:30] Speaker A: So, yeah. You try to cling to the. The lifeboat as it flips over to avoid spilling into this pile of other people's flesh. The worst thing in the world.
[00:24:42] Speaker D: Yeah, exactly. I did not want that.
[00:24:44] Speaker A: And the momentum of the boat continues and carries you out over the side of the boat, at which point you lose your grip and begin to fall to the ocean below.
[00:24:57] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh.
[00:24:57] Speaker A: The bay below.
[00:24:59] Speaker D: I fall into the water. Awesome.
[00:25:02] Speaker B: We haven't hit the water yet. You don't know. The cross albatross might save you.
[00:25:07] Speaker D: I do have boots. Can I try to see whether my reaction will let me activate my boots so I don't just fall into the water?
[00:25:17] Speaker A: Normally, I would say yes, but you. The natural one, your reaction time is a bit affected at this point.
[00:25:25] Speaker D: Yeah, I'm drunk. And two natural ones to do with this damn boat. That boat is my nemesis now, okay?
[00:25:35] Speaker B: Not your ally to hell.
[00:25:39] Speaker A: So, yeah, you.
You are pretty deep down into the water, because that's a pretty fall. Pretty far fall.
[00:25:47] Speaker D: Wow. Okay.
[00:25:49] Speaker B: Do you land on mo, you do.
[00:25:51] Speaker A: Not land on moe.
[00:25:55] Speaker D: Has he created a bouncy fish raft for me to bounce off of?
[00:26:00] Speaker C: Did you take out an albatross on your way down?
[00:26:04] Speaker E: That would be amazing. We accidentally killed the cross albatross.
[00:26:08] Speaker D: Don't worry.
[00:26:10] Speaker A: You're like Randy Johnson of the diamondbacks.
[00:26:13] Speaker D: Wait, what is. Oh, when he threw the ball and exploded the bird.
[00:26:17] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:26:17] Speaker A: It's insane. I don't know if you guys have ever seen that clip of a major.
[00:26:21] Speaker B: League pitcher want to.
[00:26:23] Speaker F: Terrible.
[00:26:23] Speaker D: Yeah, it's. It was not on purpose. It was just a little of a game happened. It was insane. Yeah.
[00:26:30] Speaker A: Wow.
So, yeah, you're. You're down there floundering about in the water. You're gonna have to give me a.
An athletics check.
[00:26:42] Speaker D: Oh, shit.
[00:26:43] Speaker A: Disadvantage.
[00:26:45] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[00:26:45] Speaker C: I'm gonna go. Can we fishing?
[00:26:48] Speaker D: Oh, with a special string magic fishing line.
[00:26:54] Speaker A: Yeah, it sounds like kick is springing to action. Is that correct?
[00:26:59] Speaker C: Yeah.
Well, first I have to get out from the pile.
[00:27:04] Speaker A: Correct.
[00:27:04] Speaker C: At least enough to get my fishing rod.
So springing into action.
So springing into action is more like flopping around on the deck a little bit. And the way this rod works for me sometimes, like, right now, is I visualize the fish that I would like it to catch, and I imagine a fish about the size of Valencia beigement and dressed in a very similar manner.
[00:27:37] Speaker B: Bejemin trout.
[00:27:38] Speaker C: Yeah. And then I cast my line into the water.
[00:27:45] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:27:46] Speaker C: And quietly hope that I catch a fish that's dressed like Valencia Beijing.
[00:27:54] Speaker A: Got it. Right. I need you to give me a survival check.
[00:27:59] Speaker C: Ah, okay.
Can't do that.
I'm a survivor.
[00:28:07] Speaker A: You're not gonna give up.
[00:28:09] Speaker C: No.
By the way, my cert. My survival skills are just as good as my perception skills.
[00:28:16] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:28:19] Speaker C: And my insight skills.
[00:28:20] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:28:24] Speaker B: We know what that means.
[00:28:24] Speaker C: But.
[00:28:29] Speaker E: Oh, hell yeah.
[00:28:30] Speaker D: Whoa.
[00:28:31] Speaker E: Hell yeah.
[00:28:33] Speaker D: That's a 20 total dirty 20 now, because I think I've signed in.
[00:28:38] Speaker A: It worked.
[00:28:39] Speaker B: Unnatural.
[00:28:42] Speaker A: All right, so the perfect cast.
Yay.
[00:28:47] Speaker D: If we listen to each other's hearts. I should do a recap to that.
[00:28:53] Speaker A: I hope so. That's what I like.
[00:28:54] Speaker D: Find it never too far apart.
[00:28:57] Speaker G: And maybe love is the reason. Reason why for the first time ever seen it.
[00:29:05] Speaker D: Eye to eye.
Guys, a goofy movie.
[00:29:09] Speaker A: Come on.
[00:29:09] Speaker D: It's a perfect cast, guys. It's such a good movie.
Such a good movie. It really is the perfect cast. All right. He does the perfect cast. Nobody cares.
[00:29:21] Speaker A: Nope. We do.
[00:29:24] Speaker D: Well, somebody out there will. Somebody out there will love a goofy movie just like we do. And I'm not even a big Disney.
[00:29:29] Speaker A: Fan at one point, shared with our audience a picture. Picture of me wearing a goofy movie shirt. A power line shirt. Cause someone was excited about it.
[00:29:37] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:29:38] Speaker A: Remember that?
[00:29:38] Speaker D: Maybe.
[00:29:38] Speaker G: Maybe.
[00:29:39] Speaker D: I don't know.
[00:29:40] Speaker A: That shirt's too small for me now.
All right, this plays in the background. I need that whole song on my soundboard.
[00:29:51] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:29:54] Speaker A: Does it have that dragon lore on it?
[00:29:57] Speaker C: I don't think I've got it. Did I get it back?
[00:29:59] Speaker D: Yes, I can. Right back to you. I totally did when you asked for it. Under. Under decks. Below decks.
[00:30:04] Speaker C: Well, absolutely then.
[00:30:06] Speaker A: Okay.
And. Yeah, it shoots down. And will you feel a sharp sensation in your shoulder blade area?
[00:30:19] Speaker D: Okay. Shoulder blade area.
[00:30:23] Speaker A: In your inner rectum.
[00:30:24] Speaker D: In your inner rectum.
How the fuck.
Magical finishing line.
[00:30:31] Speaker E: Maybe if it was a natural 20.
[00:30:33] Speaker D: Yeah, I would hit my inner rectum.
[00:30:38] Speaker E: Yeah.
You are lucky that it was not a natural 20.
[00:30:43] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[00:30:44] Speaker C: Oh, this one swallowed the hook.
[00:30:49] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh.
[00:30:50] Speaker D: Swallowed it from the other side. Holy my jolies.
Okay.
[00:30:58] Speaker A: And it, like, kind of nicks you. It doesn't, like, just dig into your shoulder.
[00:31:01] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:31:02] Speaker A: Skin. But it does catch your clothing.
[00:31:05] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:31:06] Speaker A: And kick. You feel a tension on the line.
[00:31:12] Speaker C: I gotta set the hook.
[00:31:15] Speaker D: This is. This is so humiliating.
[00:31:21] Speaker C: I don't. I don't imagine that this magical thing has a. A real. Somehow pull it and.
[00:31:28] Speaker D: Whoa.
[00:31:29] Speaker C: And then it.
[00:31:30] Speaker B: You know, it's an unreal reel.
[00:31:31] Speaker C: Brings me fish.
[00:31:34] Speaker D: Do you understand how humiliating this is? Do you know what has happened in the last episode? In the very last episode, will, like, has the tiniest bit of, like, potentially humiliating information coming out. And now I fell over and he's fishing me out of the water.
[00:31:51] Speaker C: It's perfect. Saving your life will.
[00:31:55] Speaker A: Save me.
[00:31:55] Speaker F: Your life.
[00:31:57] Speaker D: Is that. Wait, am I up there yet?
[00:31:59] Speaker A: No.
[00:31:59] Speaker D: What happened?
[00:32:00] Speaker C: So, yeah, this just muttering to myself.
[00:32:02] Speaker A: Uh huh.
He knows what you're thinking.
He doesn't need you there to have this conversation.
[00:32:10] Speaker B: Also really humiliating to fall into the water, so.
[00:32:13] Speaker D: Yeah, it's true.
[00:32:15] Speaker B: What are you gonna do?
[00:32:17] Speaker A: So he begins to haul you up.
I still need you to make a strength check kick because you are still supporting his weight. This is a lunker, if you will.
[00:32:31] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[00:32:33] Speaker E: Roscoe is still under the lifeboat, right?
[00:32:37] Speaker A: Unless you've made any efforts to extricate yourself? You're.
[00:32:40] Speaker E: No, he certainly hasn't.
[00:32:41] Speaker A: So you're just on top of Rafina?
[00:32:43] Speaker E: Oh, we're both under the boat.
[00:32:46] Speaker A: Yeah. You fell on top of her.
[00:32:48] Speaker E: Oh, aren't we flipped over?
[00:32:51] Speaker B: The boat's not, like, over us, is it?
[00:32:53] Speaker E: I thought the boat got flipped over or something.
[00:32:56] Speaker A: It. It did, yeah.
[00:32:58] Speaker D: What the lifeboat got.
[00:33:02] Speaker A: It's suspended. It's like.
[00:33:04] Speaker D: Oh, yeah, it's on ropes, so it would swing back, probably.
[00:33:06] Speaker E: It's like a regular.
[00:33:08] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:33:08] Speaker B: So it's like, pendulum ing right now.
[00:33:11] Speaker A: Yeah. Rafina made you guys. What is it? Skin the cat or whatever?
[00:33:14] Speaker D: I.
[00:33:15] Speaker A: That thing. Where. Isn't that the phrase in, like, playgrounds or what is it called?
[00:33:21] Speaker D: Cats in the cradle. You mean the.
[00:33:23] Speaker A: No, no, no. When you're on a swing.
[00:33:24] Speaker E: Silver spoon.
[00:33:25] Speaker A: And theoretically, you go over.
[00:33:28] Speaker B: You go under.
[00:33:29] Speaker A: No way. You theoretically go over the bar.
[00:33:32] Speaker D: Over the bar, swinging all around.
[00:33:34] Speaker B: Oh, man. You went to a dangerous playground around the world.
[00:33:38] Speaker D: Yeah, he had. Is that what's called around the world I want? Yeah. I don't know if I had a name for it. Every kid just dreams.
[00:33:45] Speaker A: It never actually happened around.
[00:33:47] Speaker D: Well, it should have a real.
[00:33:48] Speaker A: There was. There was some weird thing, I think, on Nickelodeon of, like, it was like, some show that had different, like, recurring sketches, and one of them was the story of the boy who went over the bars and became inside out boy.
And it was like this claymation thing, and he was, like, had all his organs and bones outside.
I don't remember anything.
[00:34:10] Speaker E: There's a very good and, like, difficult and depressing video game called what remains of Edith Finch.
[00:34:17] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:34:20] Speaker E: So that's one of the. That's one of the scenes that you play as. Is you play as a kid on a swing and going higher and higher.
[00:34:28] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah. Oh, my gosh.
[00:34:31] Speaker E: Yep.
[00:34:31] Speaker A: I want to play that again.
[00:34:32] Speaker D: Yeah, we should. That was a couple years ago that we played Roscoe.
[00:34:35] Speaker E: Okay, so. So Roscoe is just on the deck of the boat, on top of Rufina again, kind of.
[00:34:41] Speaker A: Kind of underneath the lifeboat, maybe kind of on the side because you were, like, spilled out of it. I don't know.
[00:34:46] Speaker E: Well, Roscoe certainly would have gotten off of Rufina and is. But it's still lying there, trying to hide from. From the cross albatross if he.
[00:34:56] Speaker A: Sure, sure. Okay.
And, yeah, at this point, kick gnar has come over to try to help you haul Valencio from the drink.
From the drink.
[00:35:10] Speaker B: Is Mo climbing out?
[00:35:12] Speaker A: He's actually just popped up above the railing.
[00:35:15] Speaker D: Again, he's doing a dolphin jump through the water, like, oh, what's wrong, will?
[00:35:23] Speaker A: So, will, you're suspended from this hook.
[00:35:29] Speaker D: Between my shoulder blades, I guess. Is that what you said?
[00:35:32] Speaker A: Yeah, it's caught on the. The stitching or the whatever. Like, the shoulder part where, like, the hem is there.
[00:35:40] Speaker D: Definitely have the double stitch, I guess.
[00:35:42] Speaker A: I mean.
[00:35:43] Speaker E: Oh, the double stitch.
[00:35:47] Speaker A: It's a Tivoli suit. I mean, everyone.
[00:35:52] Speaker C: Proxy.
[00:35:54] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:35:55] Speaker E: Before I ever even met you two, I got so excited listening to poor Fred Dice and hearing the Hudsucker proxy reference, and I messaged KT. I was like, oh, I'm a Jesus.
[00:36:06] Speaker D: Yeah, wiggle.
[00:36:09] Speaker E: I fucking love that movie.
[00:36:11] Speaker B: Such a good movie.
[00:36:12] Speaker D: Should watch that together. That'd be fun.
[00:36:13] Speaker B: That's a good one.
[00:36:16] Speaker A: So, yeah, this is a tivoli suit, so of course it holds, but. Oh, I believe it was revealed.
[00:36:22] Speaker D: Oh, no. What?
[00:36:23] Speaker A: That due to the nature of the cummerbund, that it was. You doubted the authenticity of this.
[00:36:30] Speaker D: That was Moses suit.
[00:36:32] Speaker A: Oh, okay, never mind.
[00:36:34] Speaker D: Is there something else that you want to say?
[00:36:37] Speaker C: Oh, well, he was going to remind all of us that we can breathe underwater.
[00:36:42] Speaker D: That is true.
[00:36:46] Speaker E: Well, that's amazing.
[00:36:48] Speaker D: I could have just walked all the way to Gully's end at the bottom of the ocean. You guys leave. I cut the perfect time to remind us.
[00:36:59] Speaker A: I think it's canon, though, that at least will has forgotten that. I forget it every time because we forget it. But of course, like. But it's so natural to having magical powers, right? But, like, who goes underwater and just immediately doesn't hold their breath?
[00:37:15] Speaker D: Here's the thing.
[00:37:16] Speaker E: Like, will, like, will doesn't want to breathe in dirty seawater.
[00:37:21] Speaker A: It's bad enough breathing this gullies and air.
[00:37:24] Speaker F: Even if he.
[00:37:25] Speaker E: Even if he knows that he can breathe underwater, he would hold his breath as long as possible. He would rather die.
[00:37:34] Speaker D: Will Pompeian died from holding his breath. That's kind of. That's kind of appropriate.
[00:37:40] Speaker B: Perfect.
[00:37:44] Speaker A: So, yeah, you're being slowly hoisted up.
[00:37:47] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:37:48] Speaker A: You're not, like, flying up towards the top deck and you're just kind of suspended there, sort of spinning.
[00:37:54] Speaker D: And I look furious.
[00:37:59] Speaker A: I mean, at this point, you would probably have time to activate my boots. Yeah.
[00:38:05] Speaker D: Okay, I'm gonna activate my boots. Activated. But is this fishing line caught on me?
[00:38:11] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:38:12] Speaker D: Also, wait, do I have to pretend like I don't have magic powers or something? I'm a character that has shown magic to. Okay, I don't think it matter. I don't know. I don't know how close I am. Am I to the thing? How much can I make it look like I'm climbing over the thing?
[00:38:31] Speaker A: I mean, you've got a little ways to go.
[00:38:32] Speaker D: And use my boots. Oh, my God. I use the boots to just go up faster.
[00:38:37] Speaker A: You just make yourself less heavy.
[00:38:40] Speaker D: Yeah. There you go.
[00:38:42] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:38:43] Speaker D: Be pretty easy.
[00:38:44] Speaker A: Coordinate that nar says, wow, this guy's kind of light. Isn't hedgest to you, king fuck, it shouldn't be this easy.
Well.
[00:39:01] Speaker C: I guess. I guess bring it. Bring him over onto the. Above the deck.
[00:39:07] Speaker A: Yeah. You're gonna land this fish.
[00:39:10] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:39:11] Speaker A: So, yeah, you're up level with the. How do you play this off, Valencio, if you're not trying to show that you can fly?
[00:39:19] Speaker D: Well, like, I grab onto the railing, and I just kind of hoist myself over.
[00:39:24] Speaker B: You.
[00:39:24] Speaker A: Don't let them flop you out.
Damn it.
[00:39:30] Speaker C: I'll get up and walk over and look at Valencia, and then reach around the back and unset the hook.
[00:39:42] Speaker A: Take the hook out of it gently, just with a single motion. It would have been very difficult for you to do so.
[00:39:47] Speaker E: And then I hope Shimi comes up and starts measuring will.
Ooh, he caught a big one.
[00:39:54] Speaker A: Oh, I see.
[00:39:57] Speaker D: Hang him upside down, Will.
[00:40:01] Speaker C: You can tell even through the mask that fatwak is trying really hard to keep a straight and.
[00:40:09] Speaker D: Yeah, this is just great.
[00:40:12] Speaker A: You gotta pose with a picture. Kick. Stick your thumb in his lip. Pick him up.
[00:40:17] Speaker D: In my lip.
Jeez.
[00:40:21] Speaker C: I know. I gotta have one of those things that measures whether we keep them or throw them back.
[00:40:31] Speaker D: I think I'm just. I just picture water streaming out of my hair and down my face and off my body, and I'm just. I just slowly stalk through the crowd of people around, I guess, and try to look for the albatross, but also need to go change.
[00:40:46] Speaker A: Okay.
So are you, like, heading towards the stairs to go down? You don't see a bird?
[00:40:53] Speaker D: I go about where Roscoe would have been running from. So I guess the stairs, right? I saw him.
[00:40:59] Speaker A: Yep. And as you approach, you hear from down below. Sounds like something large is coming up the stairs.
[00:41:09] Speaker D: So I hear something large approaching. I don't care. I don't think that there's anything threatening on the ship necessarily. He was scared of a bird. Shimi verified it was a bird. Maybe it's a God.
I've not been impressed by these gods anyway, so I'm just. I'm wet and I'm mad. So I just kind of stand there and I guess wait for it to move out of the way. If I think that it's big enough that it would block these stairs, I can't. Now I feel like my judgment is bad. I don't know how wide these stairs are or anything.
[00:41:35] Speaker A: All right, so up from the hatch pokes out the head of the captain, Malvolio Paisley.
And he says, game time.
Is everybody ready for some games?
[00:41:57] Speaker D: I'm standing right in front of him, drenched, dripping wet.
[00:42:01] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:42:01] Speaker D: And I just look at him.
[00:42:02] Speaker A: Oh, Valencio. Oh, have you been practicing? Or are you thinking maybe there'd be a swimming competition?
[00:42:10] Speaker D: No. Please excuse me. And I just walked down the stairs.
[00:42:14] Speaker A: Oh, I'm sorry.
He says to the rest of you, is your. Is your friend all right? Orlando, what happened?
[00:42:25] Speaker F: Captain, there's something on the boat.
[00:42:30] Speaker A: If you mean impending fun, you're right.
We've got a wonderful suite of events here coming up with some fabulous prizes, all to while away this lovely afternoon here on Duquesne Bay.
[00:42:45] Speaker F: I didn't mean impending fun.
[00:42:49] Speaker A: Oh, I'm sorry.
[00:42:50] Speaker D: What?
[00:42:51] Speaker F: Did you not hear me? Did you not hear me stammer your name? I did, captain.
Evoking fear.
[00:43:01] Speaker A: Well, unfortunately, fear was not evoked. But should it have been? What? What are you scared of, sir?
[00:43:10] Speaker F: Captain Paisley.
[00:43:15] Speaker A: You've evoked it well enough, sir. Go on.
[00:43:20] Speaker F: Uh, there's a big fucking boy on the ship, and I don't think he has a ticket.
[00:43:27] Speaker A: Oh, stowaway bird, you say?
And he lays a finger on the side of his nose. We'll keep an eye out for him.
He walks over and, uh, gives a, uh. He picks up, knowingly the empty bottle of Gully's end green and stows it away.
But in the meantime, would any of you.
Have any of you been looking forward to these. These events we have planned? Would you like to know more?
Who's willing to participate?
[00:44:08] Speaker B: Me.
[00:44:10] Speaker A: Ah, Rafina, I knew you would. You've got such a fun loving heart, don't you?
[00:44:16] Speaker B: My heart is fun loving.
[00:44:21] Speaker A: That almost feels like you're nothing anyway.
Anybody else?
Okay, great.
The wonderful fisherman keck. Always up for adventure.
[00:44:36] Speaker B: Kick.
[00:44:37] Speaker A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
While we keep an eye out for your. Your bird, Roscoe, would you. Would you like. Care to perhaps forget about your fears for a bit and join us some frivolities?
[00:44:52] Speaker E: Roscoe glares at Captain Malvolio very sternly.
[00:44:58] Speaker F: And says, I don't think I like to cut of your naval jib.
[00:45:07] Speaker E: And he. And he walks away and follows after Will.
[00:45:13] Speaker A: Okay.
And she, me, says, all play. What the hell was that voice.
[00:45:19] Speaker E: Try saying his name first.
[00:45:22] Speaker A: Arm. She, me, and all play.
Uh, yes, shimi. I know your name. Um, what about you, gnar? You seemed a bit, uh, stricken with some melancholy during our. Well, I guess appropriately so during our mourners feast. Um, but as I said, I thought this might be a nice transition to our later heroes feast. So would you care to. To partake in these. These games?
He says, I got a bit of a headache, so I think I might. I might, eh, no, I don't think so.
I'm gonna head back down below, but if I change my mind, I'll come back up. I'm not. I'm in a different place than I was during the feast. You don't have to worry about me. Just got some, you know, been ruminating on some things and have a bit of a lie down, maybe.
And he heads down the stairs.
[00:46:31] Speaker D: Hmm.
[00:46:34] Speaker A: I play.
[00:46:35] Speaker F: I like game.
[00:46:36] Speaker A: Oh, good.
[00:46:38] Speaker B: It's gonna be Rufina with a bunch of NPC's. NPC's canned bathwatch kick is also an.
[00:46:46] Speaker D: NPC in a way.
[00:46:52] Speaker A: Well, it'll take me a bit to set up here, so talk amongst yourselves. I'll let you know the different games we have planned, and you can decide which you are feeling up for.
We have a bit of a test of athletic prowess.
A few, I guess, if you want to. So, the first event we have up on the docket is a. Is it sort of a foot race slash obstacle course that you all will be navigating or whoever chooses to participate.
Then we have a diving competition.
[00:47:33] Speaker D: Whoa.
[00:47:34] Speaker A: Followed by a spot of fishing, if you will.
I've got one of my navigators coming up on deck soon, and he'll be running a game where you'll have to test your perceptive abilities.
He'll explain that when he gets here. And then also.
And also we have a. We're gonna be holding a raffle where it's a gold piece to enter, and the winner takes 80% of the entered fees.
But like I said, I need to set some of these things up so you guys can discuss that amongst yourselves and decide what you're up for.
[00:48:16] Speaker B: I am trying to remember if I have any gold pieces, but I guess I actually do have a gold piece, so. All right. I'm not going to try to barter with him.
[00:48:27] Speaker A: I don't think that's all raffles work.
[00:48:30] Speaker B: I have 20 tickets from the town of Norton.
[00:48:37] Speaker A: All right, so I have a question for KT, because I can't remember.
[00:48:45] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:48:46] Speaker A: You know how you asked for a shelf. You. Did you get your shelf?
[00:48:51] Speaker D: I don't think so. I mean, like, I think I have it up on, like, some bureau or something. I don't know. Like, I just put stuff up, but, like, I. Didn't you.
[00:49:00] Speaker A: Sworn.
[00:49:01] Speaker D: I don't think you said anything of it. Do you guys remember?
[00:49:03] Speaker E: I don't think it was ever resolved.
[00:49:05] Speaker D: Yeah. And I also. I don't care. Okay. I was just trying to be extra and pay attention to the bones. Like they were.
[00:49:12] Speaker E: Was the captain's assistant again? Was his name.
[00:49:15] Speaker D: Oh, yeah, that guy.
[00:49:17] Speaker A: Good question.
[00:49:20] Speaker D: Phineas or something?
[00:49:21] Speaker A: No, not asking.
[00:49:26] Speaker B: Phineas seems right.
[00:49:32] Speaker D: Did you dream about it or something?
[00:49:34] Speaker A: Maybe.
[00:49:35] Speaker D: I pretty sure that it was just me making a big deal out of stuff. And then, like, you were like, yeah, these people. Will.
[00:49:41] Speaker A: All right, so you're heading down to. Are you heading down to change or you just.
[00:49:45] Speaker D: I'm looking around for the bird, but I'm like, Will is just, you know, thinking about the past 15 minutes. Like, it was already ruined, the day was already ruined, and Rossio just comes in and makes everything worse. And, like, I. There's probably no bird. He's probably hallucinating. He's probably eating too much mustard.
A bit of mustard. Undigested beef and mustard and so. But I'm. Yeah, I'm looking around for the bird, but I'm basically just going to the.
My room so I can get some clothes on that aren't wet.
[00:50:20] Speaker A: Okay.
Yes. You have magic, too.
[00:50:26] Speaker D: Yes. And you've said this before, but, like, I don't. I mean, I guess, yes, I have prestidigitation that can. It blows a small puff of air in reality.
[00:50:34] Speaker A: I mean, if it can clean, I can't imagine that it can't dry, if.
[00:50:39] Speaker D: You'Re okay with that. But, like, that could be used in pretty powerful ways. I feel like. Just so you know, like, if there's.
[00:50:44] Speaker A: Like, a gelatin, I could dry someone's body and they don't have any water in them anymore. Right.
[00:50:48] Speaker D: I could, like, dry up a gelatinous cube or something. Like, if it's okay, maybe you say that I can. Because it's Will's magic, specifically. He can dry his own.
[00:50:57] Speaker E: I love clothes. Will is a yemenite. Is a waterbender. I fucking love it.
[00:51:02] Speaker C: I like the idea of a dehydrated gelatinous cube.
Like, this big.
[00:51:08] Speaker D: Yeah, just add water.
[00:51:11] Speaker C: Potion stamp.
[00:51:12] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:51:12] Speaker D: Yeah, you just add water and it's.
[00:51:15] Speaker E: I think I meant bloodbender. That's the real. That's. That's the. Yeah. Will.
[00:51:21] Speaker F: Will's a bloodbender.
[00:51:22] Speaker B: Oh, scary sponge blob would be a good name for a gelatinous cube.
[00:51:27] Speaker D: I mean, sure, I can just drive it if you want. If you actually want to give me that power, I'll write it down.
[00:51:32] Speaker A: Yeah, go for it.
[00:51:33] Speaker D: All right. Prestidigitation can dry my own clothes. Are we being this specific?
[00:51:37] Speaker A: For now, yeah.
[00:51:40] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:51:41] Speaker E: And since blood is made up of water or has water in it, KT will can kill people by.
Yeah, just by prestidigitating the water out of their blood.
[00:51:54] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:51:55] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:51:56] Speaker D: Sounds great.
[00:51:57] Speaker A: Mm hmm.
[00:51:58] Speaker D: Okay, I'm gonna do it every time now. Watch out, Roscoe. You're coming down the stairs.
[00:52:03] Speaker A: Well, funny you say that as you've stopped to present your clothes. Roscoe comes down the stairs behind you.
[00:52:09] Speaker E: No, but Roscoe is like, be is mission impossibling his way downstairs. He's being very stealthy because he is still scared of the bird.
[00:52:18] Speaker B: We're gonna sober him up, Mandy.
[00:52:21] Speaker A: He seems pretty sober. I wanted to mention that your your happiness has seemed to have evaporated away.
Will dried it.
[00:52:29] Speaker E: Especially.
[00:52:32] Speaker B: Afraid now.
[00:52:33] Speaker E: When Captain Malvolio accused him of being intoxicated, that definitely sobered him up.
[00:52:42] Speaker A: Mm hmm.
[00:52:44] Speaker E: So he's he's. He's. He's sober now, but he's still. He's very scared, but he's serious, and he's. And he's sneaking down and looking around corners.
[00:52:56] Speaker A: Okay. And. Yeah, you see will at the bottom of the stairs, futzing with his clothes.
[00:53:01] Speaker F: Oh, hey.
Hey. What?
Hey.
Valencio, right?
[00:53:11] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:53:13] Speaker F: Okay. Uh, so I think that you're the only one taking this whole thing seriously, so, uh, that's good, but, uh, what?
[00:53:24] Speaker D: Also everything. Yes, that's what I do.
[00:53:29] Speaker F: Yeah.
Yeah. But what's specifically the thing with the Boyd?
[00:53:35] Speaker D: Okay, there's no bird. Roscoe, what were you doing down here?
Mother weed.
[00:53:42] Speaker F: I wasn't smoking.
I was doing. I was doing something else. I was taking something else.
[00:53:50] Speaker D: Okay, so how sure are you that there was a bird at all?
[00:53:56] Speaker F: Like, 65?
[00:54:03] Speaker D: Did you tell anyone anything? And, like, for a second, it's like, I'm not. I don't want to try to intimidate him, but, like, that's the kind of thing he would ask, is, like, mob boss guy, and he have, like, this serious edge to his voice that's like. Did you tell anyone anything about what's happening?
[00:54:29] Speaker F: I don't think I gave any information to anyone who didn't already have it.
And also, I just want to say I take partial responsibility for the fact that you fell into the water up there.
I feel like that was partially my fault, and I'm sorry because. I just feel bad because the whole thing. I don't know if you.
[00:55:11] Speaker D: I don't know if you know this.
[00:55:13] Speaker F: But the whole resolution to that situation was kind of humiliating.
[00:55:21] Speaker D: Like.
[00:55:22] Speaker F: Like, for you, so. I'm so sorry.
[00:55:28] Speaker B: I wish the audience could see KT's face.
[00:55:32] Speaker D: Was that sarcasm, Roscoe?
[00:55:35] Speaker C: He was covering his mouth, right?
[00:55:37] Speaker D: Yeah.
You're so sorry. Was that, like, sarcasm?
[00:55:45] Speaker F: No, genuine sorry.
[00:55:47] Speaker D: Oh, you know what? You're fucking with me right now. Like, this is where it gets weird, because I want to, like, roll to see, or, you know, will's like, this guy is fucking with me. Like, there is no way. You come up and you, like, run and you're all sweaty and disgusting. You fall in the boat, and then you fucking make me fall in the water. It's not really Raska's fall.
[00:56:09] Speaker A: I know that.
[00:56:10] Speaker D: You being chased by some imaginary bird.
What's your problem with me? What's your problem with us?
[00:56:18] Speaker F: Why are you. I don't. Okay. I don't know. Maybe I imagined it, okay?
[00:56:23] Speaker A: I don't know. Okay?
[00:56:24] Speaker F: I was on. I was on the brown treat stuff that the bartender in Trent gave me, okay? But I. You know, I could. It felt very real, and I was. I was genuinely very scared.
[00:56:37] Speaker C: Tap, tap, tap.
[00:56:43] Speaker D: Roscoe, you are scared of things like balls and things that don't scare a normal person. You've got to get a grip, Mandy. This is. We're in the middle of big shit right now.
[00:56:59] Speaker F: Okay?
Uh, point taken.
[00:57:05] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:57:08] Speaker F: Okay, yeah, yeah, I'll get a grip. I'll get a grip. Yeah, I'm feeling. I feel. I'm feeling clearer now.
[00:57:15] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah. How can you tell? I. He says, with, like, how can you tell? Like, spit flies out of his mouth.
[00:57:28] Speaker F: If you're actually asking, like.
[00:57:31] Speaker D: No, I'm not really asking. I'm trying to consult you.
[00:57:34] Speaker F: Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Phew.
Well, you look a lot drier now.
[00:57:45] Speaker D: Yeah.
Okay. If they're good way. Yeah. Oh, thanks. I don't. I don't. I don't know what that means.
[00:57:55] Speaker E: It's a compliment.
[00:57:56] Speaker D: Yeah, that I.
[00:57:57] Speaker A: Look.
[00:57:57] Speaker D: You lie.
I don't know if that ever is a compliment, Roscoe, but cool. Let's see if there's an imaginary bird wandering around below decks. Or should we go up and play fucking games with fucking captain idiot and fucking gnar? You wanna go play games with that stupid looking guy?
Let's do it.
[00:58:24] Speaker B: So sad.
[00:58:25] Speaker A: And from the stairs behind you, nars just comes down. Nar.
[00:58:30] Speaker D: Are you sitting there?
[00:58:32] Speaker E: Yeah, he was coming down. Oh, my God.
[00:58:33] Speaker D: He was coming right away. Yeah.
[00:58:37] Speaker A: Um, did I do something to offend you?
[00:58:47] Speaker D: On the day my king died, you take over the mourner's feast with your stupid story about some stupid guy that nobody cares about. Okay, so why don't you go lay down somewhere that I don't have to see you and compete with your grief?
[00:59:11] Speaker A: I'm sorry.
I. I really didn't mean to do anything to make you feel worse on this day. That must be very hard for you. Anyway, I guess if there's anything I can do to make it up for you, I will be in my room. So I'm sorry.
And he awkwardly squeezes past you because the hallways are pretty narrow down here.
[00:59:51] Speaker D: Awkward.
[00:59:52] Speaker E: He squeezes between Will and Roscoe.
[00:59:55] Speaker A: Sure.
[00:59:56] Speaker E: Rossi was just standing there watching this whole thing.
[01:00:02] Speaker D: Oh, my God, I hate that guy.
[01:00:05] Speaker A: Wait, why?
[01:00:06] Speaker D: No, he's still there.
[01:00:09] Speaker A: No, it's Wiley. You're squeezing in between.
[01:00:11] Speaker D: I hate that guy.
[01:00:12] Speaker A: He's right in front of me, and it was faith.
[01:00:14] Speaker D: I hate that guy.
[01:00:16] Speaker F: No, he was talking about me, I think.
[01:00:19] Speaker D: Don't worry about it.
[01:00:21] Speaker A: Oh, that scams.
[01:00:26] Speaker D: Yeah, no, he's gone. Awkwardly goes by, I fucking hate that guy.
[01:00:31] Speaker F: All right, I think he was hitting on you. I think that was a pass.
[01:00:36] Speaker D: No, thanks anyway.
What were we going to do? Do we need to go get your brain some medicine or something? Do we smother you in mustard now?
[01:00:48] Speaker F: Will you just do me a favor? Will you just. Can we. Can we just come with me when we look in my. I'm just gonna look in my room, make sure that I was imagining du Bois and will you just come with me?
Because I still feel a bit unsettled.
[01:01:03] Speaker D: Oh, he's like. He's being all serious, too. All right, yeah, I will chase. Yeah, he just, like, you know, he nods and just follows you.
[01:01:15] Speaker F: Okay, yeah. Make a gun out of your hands and, like, go around the corners like this with me.
[01:01:19] Speaker D: I'm not doing that, Roscoe. I'm not doing that. I don't even know what that. What's a gun?
A cross, like a crossbow.
[01:01:28] Speaker E: A hand crossbow.
[01:01:30] Speaker B: Hand crossbow.
[01:01:38] Speaker A: So you head, you start heading down towards your rooms and sort of right around the corner, there's a door, which as you're walking past it opens a. And out steps.
Sean. Indigo.
[01:01:54] Speaker B: Yes, the. That guy.
[01:01:56] Speaker A: Oh, crikey. I can't believe I caught you two here. The old way.
I'm heading up to play some games. You guys coming?
Oh, were you here to see my wares?
[01:02:12] Speaker D: No, thank you. We are here to inspect the ship for vermin or something. Why don't you go play games? Sounds fun.
[01:02:23] Speaker A: Well, you bet. Best not be taking any of my creatures. None of them are vermin, and I keep them nice and tightly locked up.
[01:02:31] Speaker D: Well, as long as they're locked up, then you have nothing to worry about, do you?
[01:02:34] Speaker F: Wait a minute. Wait. Wait a minute. Wait. Wait a minute.
Is one of your creatures?
[01:02:43] Speaker A: What?
[01:02:43] Speaker F: A talking bird.
[01:02:47] Speaker A: Do you mean to say there's a talking bird somewhere about.
[01:02:54] Speaker F: Do you mean to say that if there was one, it might be yours?
[01:03:03] Speaker A: I mean to say, if there is one, I'd like to make it mine.
[01:03:10] Speaker B: You.
[01:03:12] Speaker F: Then I mean to say, why don't you go open the door to my room while my pal Valencio and I stand over here?
[01:03:27] Speaker A: All right, let's do it. Come on, guys.
[01:03:31] Speaker F: I literally just said we're staying here.
[01:03:34] Speaker A: It's over there. We're not near your room. I'm assuming your room's over.
[01:03:39] Speaker F: We'll walk a bit of a way, but then we're gonna stop. We're gonna stop early.
[01:03:42] Speaker A: So. So I will say the. Where you guys are is not by your rooms. The door he came out of is not one of the. The doors you've identified as your rooms.
[01:03:52] Speaker E: Oh, he didn't come. Oh, he came out of some other room, huh?
[01:03:55] Speaker A: Mm hmm.
[01:03:56] Speaker D: That isn't a bedroom, does it? Did we see anything in the room?
Could we see people?
[01:04:06] Speaker A: No, he came out and just closed the door behind him.
[01:04:10] Speaker D: But we don't think it's a bedroom. Or we think it's a bedroom in a different area. You don't even know.
[01:04:14] Speaker A: You're not sure. You don't know what this is.
[01:04:17] Speaker D: I want to send a message to Roscoe that's just like. The thing is, it's great if he can catch it, but then we're gonna have to, like, take it, because first of all, is he. If it's if.
[01:04:28] Speaker A: 25 words.
[01:04:30] Speaker D: Oh, shit. Yeah.
And then I do it again.
[01:04:34] Speaker E: I get that whole message.
[01:04:36] Speaker D: If it even exists.
If it's a God, he's not going to be able to catch it, is he?
[01:04:45] Speaker F: Maybe not, but at least maybe we could use him as bait.
Wait, that wasn't a reference to before?
[01:05:03] Speaker A: Oh, Roscoe.
[01:05:04] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[01:05:05] Speaker A: Put your foot in it.
[01:05:09] Speaker F: I don't know. Let's just let him go ahead of us and we'll see what happens.
[01:05:13] Speaker D: Sure, but what I'm saying is, he can't pass along any fucking secrets you might have given him.
I don't really want anything to be chatting with the other guests.
[01:05:29] Speaker F: That's fair.
[01:05:31] Speaker D: All right, so he catches the bird, and then we kill them both. Yeah. Okay, deal.
[01:05:38] Speaker F: Maybe they kill each other.
[01:05:40] Speaker D: That sounds great, actually.
[01:05:43] Speaker A: Right, so we gotta go. We're just gonna stand here staring at each other?
[01:05:46] Speaker D: Oh, come on. I was letting him go. We're walking a message.
[01:05:51] Speaker A: Walking and messaging.
[01:05:53] Speaker D: Walking and messaging. Exactly.
[01:05:55] Speaker E: Classic Aaron Sorkin scene.
[01:05:58] Speaker A: Trying to think of the west wing cruise ship pun, but I couldn't think of it.
All right, so you guys head towards your Roscoe's room.
[01:06:09] Speaker E: I think the starboard wing.
[01:06:11] Speaker D: Okay.
[01:06:14] Speaker A: I'll take that.
So, up top, the captain is. He's got, like. He. He went up, over towards the. The front of the ship, and there's like, this series of levers and switches he's manipulating in this panel, and from out of the deck, these various obstacles have risen up. There's like a climbing wall, there's a series of hurdles. There's this little thing where you have to swing over with a rope. So it looks like this is not an improvised event, this race obstacle course that he's setting up.
And I would like you guys. Anybody up on deck to give me a perception check.
[01:07:04] Speaker D: Okay.
[01:07:07] Speaker B: I feel like my perception check starts to drop the longer it takes me to find my perception.
[01:07:12] Speaker A: That is true.
See?
[01:07:17] Speaker B: Dang.
[01:07:18] Speaker D: Dang.
[01:07:20] Speaker A: All right, so a six and a ten.
So, uh, what was Roscoe saying about this bird? Is this. Is it a God or what? What's happening with bird?
[01:07:35] Speaker B: For some reason, he's terrified of it. He didn't like that it liked carnivals, and he didn't like that it was some kind of apologist.
[01:07:48] Speaker A: Oh, for the coyote.
[01:07:50] Speaker B: Yes, that's it for the coyote.
[01:07:52] Speaker A: Lucky guess.
I mean, Roscoe seems to have antagonistic relationship with religion in general.
[01:08:04] Speaker B: Mo, you are very perceptive.
I. And she reaches out to shake his hand. Shake my hand.
[01:08:10] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah. Cuz he, like, say I dumb for liking gods. I think he probably say something like that a few times.
[01:08:20] Speaker B: We can hear from across the ship.
[01:08:27] Speaker A: Oh, no, I wouldn't worry too much about what he says.
He's a bit of. A. Bit of an oddball. And you go on liking the things you like. No one's yucking on your yum. I mean, he might be, but the.
[01:08:40] Speaker D: Rest of us aren't yucking on your yum. I love that.
[01:08:45] Speaker B: I've never heard that says Rafina. And Abby at the same time.
[01:08:48] Speaker A: That's not. I can't take credit for that. That's not me.
[01:08:52] Speaker B: I figured it came from somewhere, and I'm just unexposed to it.
[01:08:56] Speaker E: It's usually about sex. Like, sex positions, sex moves, fetishes.
Yeah, don't yuck my yum.
There are so many great yums out there, so why shouldn't I yuck the bad ones?
[01:09:13] Speaker D: True.
[01:09:13] Speaker B: You know, I guess that's fair.
[01:09:16] Speaker D: Yeah.
Agree.
You've told me before to not yuck. You're yum. And I'm like, I don't care.
[01:09:24] Speaker F: Me.
[01:09:25] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:09:26] Speaker D: It was about something silly. I don't even really specifically remember. It's about having two phones. You just said that phrase to me, and I just remember being.
[01:09:36] Speaker E: I don't care. I'm gonna yuck them.
[01:09:38] Speaker B: She may be using this phrase. I mean.
[01:09:43] Speaker D: In this.
It's just about.
[01:09:48] Speaker A: Religion.
[01:09:50] Speaker E: No, it's not about sex.
[01:09:52] Speaker B: It's about religion. Okay, very good.
[01:09:56] Speaker A: Do yuck my own.
[01:10:00] Speaker E: Do not yuck my own.
[01:10:05] Speaker D: Hey, everyone, if you like what you hear, please consider leaving us a kind review wherever that sort of thing happens. Also, support us by sending us a tip on ko fi. You can find all of our social media [email protected]. thank you for listening, and we'll see you next time.
