[00:00:00] Speaker A: You're listening to the show about squeezing one out for bath whack. It's pork fried dice.
I'm Eric, and I'm the dungeon master.
[00:00:12] Speaker B: I'm Abby, and I play Rufina.
[00:00:14] Speaker C: I'm Alex and I play Bapwhack.
[00:00:18] Speaker D: I'm Kt and I play will.
[00:00:21] Speaker E: I'm Adam and I play Roscoe.
[00:00:26] Speaker A: Hold on to your haversacks. Let's roll.
[00:00:33] Speaker E: Guys. I have something to share.
[00:00:36] Speaker B: Tell me.
[00:00:37] Speaker E: This is the there and back again hobbit themed journal that I've been taking handwritten D and D notes in for years and years and years.
So the very first, like, goats and dragons session that I took notes in this journal for, I played on October 13, 2018.
[00:01:13] Speaker A: Listeners, we recorded this on October 13, 2023.
[00:01:18] Speaker D: What the fuck, Adam?
[00:01:20] Speaker E: That was really weird.
And I was in Queens, New York City.
I was there for.
It was after all that. That summer was, like, the worst summer of my life. Like, helping my sister and her family move. And then we finally got. Finally got settled in their new house in Maryland, and I was, like, so depressed. I was, like. And, like, suicidal. So, like, October 14, 2018.
I had had bought tickets months and months before for a concert in New York City of Max Richter performing the music of the leftovers. And it was scheduled for October 14 because October 14 is departure day in the show, which is the date of that, like, rapture, like, event. So the chapter that I, you know, I've been working on. On the leftovers, like, starts out with a journal entry, like, about, like, that concert and me being at that concert in the middle of.
[00:02:26] Speaker D: Oh, your chapter. I'm sorry, I.
[00:02:27] Speaker A: Your.
[00:02:28] Speaker E: Yeah, no, no, the chapter that I've.
[00:02:29] Speaker D: Been working on with your experience at that concert. Okay.
[00:02:32] Speaker E: Yeah, like, because, like, I was basically, like, mid, like, suicidal ideation and just, like, just, like, soaking it up. Right. So anyway, but, like. And then, like, playing D and D and, like, playing burbage over in fates of Ren, like, fucking, like, really helped me. Like. Like, I. Like, I cared so much about, like, burbage that, like, there were times that, like, I would be, like, in tears for him and thinking, like, I can't. Like, I cannot kill myself because I want burbage to be okay.
Like, so anyway, all that to say. So last night we played a session of goats and dragons five years later, and I'm like, I'm in the last couple pages of this. Of this journal. So, like, it felt really appropriate last night for, like, my final, like, fates of wren notes to be October 13, 2023.
And I've also been taking all my pork fried dice notes in this.
[00:03:39] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[00:03:40] Speaker E: And so the final. The final, like, entry in this is gonna be my notes on tonight's session.
[00:03:47] Speaker D: That puts a lot of pressure on October.
[00:03:50] Speaker A: No, thanks, Adams.
[00:03:51] Speaker D: And it's.
[00:03:51] Speaker E: And it's on. And it's on departure day, October 14.
[00:03:55] Speaker D: Wow.
[00:03:55] Speaker E: So, like, it's five years and a day.
[00:03:59] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:04:00] Speaker E: And it's about. And it's departure day. It's the leftovers. It's. It's. It's a show about suicide. It's like. And it's like. It connects for me with my book. The last thing I'll ever write. Part one. Like, there's this, like. Like, five years. This is nice. Like, okay, that's it. I'm done. But also, like, no, I've got a couple more pages left. I'm gonna write notes on pork fried dice. And then I'm like, I'll probably switch to, like, typing notes going forward because.
[00:04:22] Speaker D: These are useless, but they're beautiful.
[00:04:24] Speaker E: These are fucking useless. Cause I can't.
[00:04:27] Speaker B: The search makes it so hard.
[00:04:28] Speaker D: I don't use list at all because what just happened is, like, quintessential Adam story, I feel like. But all of us, like, have these weird fucking moments. I think, like, us as a friend group have these really weird, timely coincidence synchronicities.
[00:04:48] Speaker E: I like when they happen. And, like, this. I just noticed it last night.
[00:04:51] Speaker D: I was like, oh, my God, that's crazy.
[00:04:53] Speaker E: Five years. And, like, I just wanted to share that with you guys.
[00:04:57] Speaker D: And I feel super honored to be your last notes. I mean, in that. That's insane. Now we gotta make this fucking great, guys.
[00:05:07] Speaker B: Better be.
[00:05:08] Speaker D: I mean, I think it's on.
[00:05:10] Speaker E: I don't think we gotta do this.
I don't take notes on the acting, by the way.
[00:05:15] Speaker D: Wait a second. I thought it was notes after this, I thought you were gonna give me some notes.
[00:05:21] Speaker A: Just say, kt, five stars.
[00:05:25] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:05:26] Speaker A: Gotta honor it.
[00:05:29] Speaker E: Oh, goodness.
[00:05:30] Speaker D: That's amazing, Adam. Wow. That's incredible.
[00:05:33] Speaker B: That's really big.
[00:05:34] Speaker D: I love that it's a. That it's a day after for us, right? Like, yeah, because that's. That's crazy. That's perfect. That it's the same day for burbage, because.
What? Yeah, that's really crazy. Wow.
[00:05:48] Speaker E: Cool, cool, cool.
[00:05:49] Speaker D: Thank you for.
[00:05:49] Speaker E: We got a recap. Of course.
Oh, Alex.
[00:05:57] Speaker D: He's like, ah.
[00:06:02] Speaker B: I think he had a good day too.
[00:06:03] Speaker D: Yay.
[00:06:05] Speaker B: Come closer to the microphone.
[00:06:06] Speaker C: That was good. I'm here.
[00:06:08] Speaker A: Previously on Pork Fried Dice.
[00:06:12] Speaker C: I gotta say, I don't know who wrote this recap, but I'm gonna read.
[00:06:16] Speaker F: Is it a miss?
[00:06:17] Speaker E: Oh, my God.
Is this a found recap?
[00:06:20] Speaker A: Did someone send you ad copy to include as the recap?
Did they live in Everwood?
[00:06:27] Speaker E: Is that every.
[00:06:28] Speaker C: That's right. Every letter was cut out individually.
[00:06:32] Speaker E: You're talking about somebody gave you a ransom note.
[00:06:37] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:06:37] Speaker C: Wait, this has nothing to do with.
[00:06:39] Speaker E: D and D.
Where.
Where are the kids?
[00:06:45] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:06:52] Speaker C: Gnar. And Eldon. What do you think of that, Will?
With a thick, bushy mustache and loose brown pants, nar is not just your run of the mill young Tom selleck half orc. Will, have you looked at your mustache in the mirror lately?
[00:07:08] Speaker D: Whoa.
[00:07:09] Speaker C: Nar says he met Eldon in Carnivore. Isn't that where you're from, Will? I guess they met at a club. Good vibrations. Have we been there?
Nobody knows Eldon. Why don't they know him, Will? Why don't they know him? Who is he? I hear he was fun. He was always looking for adventure. Dancing through life. Taking it all in with green flecked, piercing blue eyes.
It's okay, Will. Nobody actually knows anything. Kick. Sure doesn't frosco? Nope. But he might understand anyway. It's just a bit of undigested snake head. Rafina will get you some of that special tea to help. The one that's probably made from bits of undigested snake heads and dirt. And you mix them both up and drink them down. And then you feel better.
Feeling better. Feeling better is something you decide, right? You just flick a switch somewhere and bam. Not vulnerable anymore. We just flick a switch and become Valencio Bejeman.
[00:08:11] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[00:08:11] Speaker C: Anyway, most of the party adjourns to the upper deck. But Roscoe goes back to his stateroom for an uplifting nip of the brown treat. Nobody actually knows yet, but Roscoe sees his own face and the faces of all his dogs. Dancing in the knots of wood beams.
Nobody knows that there is a tap, tap tapping outside. Except Roscoe and the albatross. Staring, staring, staring at each other. Let me in.
You're not there, Will. We don't even know. But we should let it in.
Oh, look. She me brought you the scowl mug that purifies twig tea. It sucks the alcohol right out of it, but leaves the dirt. Or maybe it's the other way around.
Fuck if I remember. Let's go above deck and get some of the gully's end green with Shimi and ruffina.
How did she get that mug.
Look at that idiot gnar drinking with kick. Who invited that oversharing jerk up here with us? Why would Eldon love anyone with such a stupid name?
[00:09:16] Speaker A: Ah.
[00:09:17] Speaker C: And now he's pouring more drinks. More drinks. Pour another drink for Miss Malvolio. Phalange pot here. What a beautiful night. Tap, tap. Tap. Tap. Tap, tap. So who's ever been in love? Who? I have. You know all about me and my love. Let's open up. We can get past the bullshit. Who cares? We won't see each other ever again, will I know you've been in love, so fess up. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. Valencio takes a swallow from the skull mug, reaches to steady himself on the lifeboat support, and falls into kick's lap.
[00:10:01] Speaker E: Alex.
Alex. What the fuck?
[00:10:06] Speaker C: I don't know who wrote that.
[00:10:08] Speaker D: This person, I'm not even sure who was speaking.
[00:10:10] Speaker E: Like, that was amazing.
Katie's speechless.
[00:10:17] Speaker B: Like, I. Mic drop.
[00:10:20] Speaker E: Yeah. Oh, my.
[00:10:22] Speaker A: Adam's still at the poetry lounge, apparently.
[00:10:24] Speaker E: Yeah. I thought I'd left, but I haven't.
[00:10:28] Speaker D: I can't even. I literally. Look at my tears, babe. Like, I have tears in my eyes because, like, oh, my God. I have been writing something for years, and what you just did touched my heart, like, in such an incredible way that you probably don't even understand because nobody ever even remembers that person's name when we mention it in the game. But I am, like, absolutely overwhelmed right now. Like, I literally. I have. Like, I am. I don't. That, like, you need to get out of your job. That you do right now, and you need. Like, my heart is racing. Like, I want to marry you. Abby. This is the first time I didn't want to marry you and instead wanted to marry Alex. No, I'm just kidding. I probably wanted to marry both of you at all times, but I've been there. What the fuck? I've been there. Switching sides.
[00:11:22] Speaker E: That tap, tap tapped on our hearts.
[00:11:26] Speaker D: I can't even. Like, my heart just, like. Like, is also beating so fast, I don't even know how to. How do I. Like. How do we play this game now?
[00:11:35] Speaker B: It's so. Like, the thing about it is it does. It's not just a recap. It, like. It synthesized into the actual storytelling. It's, like, actually good fan fiction, but it's not fiction as far as the story goes. Do you know what I mean? It's like.
[00:11:54] Speaker D: You're like. Like, I.
Poetic as fuck.
[00:12:00] Speaker A: You mean he's gonna write the 50 shades of gray of pork fried dice?
[00:12:07] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[00:12:09] Speaker C: I'm trying to paste it into the chat for you guys, but I wanna.
[00:12:13] Speaker D: Read it every day of my life.
That was, like, the amazing holy.
[00:12:22] Speaker B: It was a mirror. It was a mirror.
[00:12:27] Speaker D: I feel like somebody just asked me out on a date, and I am 18 years old or something. Like, I don't even know what's happening in my body right now.
Oh, my God. That's. It is a cruel thing. And I won't even be able to. I'll have to, like, I don't know how much this gives away, but, like, what you have decided to do with your life when you could be breaking hearts on the daily is ridiculous.
[00:12:55] Speaker B: My heart is broken daily.
[00:12:57] Speaker D: You can keep doing your job.
I just mean, like, the. Like, we already knew this because Alex has already written recaps that are, like, poems or whatever, but, like, on such a level that, like, you don't even understand. This is something that I have been. I don't talk to you guys. I have. I have been working on some art and things, and, like, I don't. Because of my stupid closed off character that I have been struggling with, just on a personal level, I've been, like, I'm not good at playing D and d because I have such a closed off character that I have such problems fucking saying stuff. And, like, you were able to talk about it on the intense hour and.
[00:13:41] Speaker A: A half drive down to the Bronx.
[00:13:43] Speaker D: The whole way. I've been fucking worried about, like, my inability. I'm like, I don't think I'm a good storyteller because, like, I don't think I can well, but I'm saying, like, this is something you don't even understand, Abby. You'd be shocked at the fucking drawings I have made with, like, this backstory that I have that I've been, like, I should. Like, I told Eric, I'm like, this is what I'm gonna try to do for our family because, like, I'm gonna try. And it's so hard. I get, like, five minutes a day probably when I get to draw. But, like, I try. I'm trying so hard to, like, do a bunch of drawings and stuff that, like, kind of represent the work I've put into this stupid, dumb character that, like, feels really stupid and, like. Like, I'm sorry I'm getting so emotional. It just feels like, because I'm also very good at being funny, and it's funny to be closed off, but, like. Like, there is a part that, like, nobody even understands, like, the. The work I've put into this dumb shit. And like that.
That was like. I don't know. It mean. I meant a lot.
I'm sorry. That's so corny.
[00:14:50] Speaker C: Yes, but it's. Oh, go ahead.
[00:14:53] Speaker E: This is the vulnerability episode. This is the. We flip a. Flip a switch.
[00:14:58] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[00:14:59] Speaker C: But I was saying that, um. But also that the way that you play will, like, I communicate. I can. All this was communicated. Like, this is how I. Yeah, exactly.
[00:15:11] Speaker B: Well, I mean, Alex does not read minds, I promise.
[00:15:17] Speaker A: Oh, my God, he better not. Anyway.
[00:15:24] Speaker E: I mean, does he have to? And you're as loud as Abby during.
[00:15:33] Speaker A: If KT wants to keep that in.
[00:15:35] Speaker E: We were Jackbox reference.
[00:15:37] Speaker A: Jackbox role models. And apparently Abby has loud.
[00:15:42] Speaker D: Well, no, she was just very insistent that why didn't anyone put me for the loud sex category?
And we were all like, what?
[00:15:50] Speaker B: Okay, clarifying that. Because Alex was not playing, and I would have gotten a lot of questions later.
[00:15:57] Speaker A: Now you're gonna get something else.
[00:16:00] Speaker D: Oh, my God. I mean, like, listen to that poet.
[00:16:02] Speaker B: You'll hear it from there.
[00:16:07] Speaker A: We're on the international Space Station, you.
[00:16:09] Speaker D: Guys, I am so happy.
[00:16:12] Speaker E: I am scandalized.
Scandalized.
[00:16:16] Speaker D: Happy. Scandalized.
Oh, my goodness. Oh, wow.
[00:16:23] Speaker E: Great recap, Alex. Thank you so much for that.
[00:16:25] Speaker D: Wow.
[00:16:26] Speaker A: What the fuck am I supposed to do now?
[00:16:28] Speaker D: Nothing. We're done.
That's it.
[00:16:31] Speaker B: I'm really sorry, but. Hey, Alex, would you mind? Pretty please? I have a cat sitting behind me, and if I stand up. Yeah, he'll roll away. And I can't reach my notes. Could you please get my notes?
[00:16:43] Speaker C: All right, just a minute.
[00:16:44] Speaker B: I'm so sorry.
[00:16:45] Speaker D: I'm gonna go pee. I have to compose my stuff.
[00:16:49] Speaker A: Do you need more alcohol?
[00:16:51] Speaker D: Holy crap. If I have more alcohol, I'll be dead.
[00:16:58] Speaker A: Hey.
[00:17:01] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:17:01] Speaker A: You guys have no idea. Like, maybe you do. Kt just agonizes over this constantly. Well, there's just their own story and the backstory and all of it. Like, it's constantly something they're trying to solve. And, like, it's like how writers are until they finish a book. Except KT doesn't have the luxury of being able to. I mean, they could, I guess, but they're not in the midst of writing a book. It's in this constrained.
[00:17:28] Speaker B: Yeah, there's more than that. I mean, like, with. It's like. It's not just, like, parallel trying to solve a character's problem and. And, like, having it separate from oneself. There's so much that's, like, this person is a part of me because I created it and because what I put into it is obviously still me. Right. From someplace. I really. I mean, that's been my experience playing D and D, and there's so much that's, like, therapeutic and. And just telling and exploratory and growth minded or whatever. So I guess it feels like solving a person's own, like, comfort with being a person, I guess. I don't know. I'm not saying that's what's going on with KT, but I'm inclined to think.
[00:18:15] Speaker E: That that is often, to some degree, the case with.
With D and D players and their.
[00:18:22] Speaker B: Characters, especially when they, you know, lead with their heart, which clearly is what's happening, right?
[00:18:28] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:18:30] Speaker D: I didn't hear the first half that conversation, but I'm.
[00:18:32] Speaker A: You heard my house.
[00:18:33] Speaker D: I heard you said my name at.
[00:18:35] Speaker A: One point, is what I was just talking about how, like, you agonize over.
[00:18:41] Speaker D: This character anyone knows constantly, like, literally don't share any of it.
[00:18:48] Speaker A: I was talking about how you were comparing it to the anguish that writers feel as they're trying to complete a story and then they can let go of it, except you're constrained by this very narrow medium. Like, you could write a book.
[00:19:04] Speaker D: Well, I write things, but they're all, like, piecemeal, and I don't get the chance to do it as much as I would like. Well, I would love, you know, let.
[00:19:13] Speaker E: Us know if there's ever any way that even in some kind of experimental way that we can, like, have fun with the medium in a way that allows for, like, your storytelling to breathe more or you to share more that you want to share. Like, if there's a way that we can, like, adapt. Right.
[00:19:38] Speaker D: D and D. If I was a better player. That's what I'm saying. Like, I know that it's my failure as, like, I. No, I have. Eric has joked with me about how I'm like, he's like, you should just write this down. Like, years ago, I was writing a different story, and I never really finished it. And then, like, this one, like, I think is way better. I have, like, so many cool, like, ideas and, like, things that are. But, like, it's. I don't. Eric's like, you need just, like, control over a world. You just need to write it. And I'm like, but when, like, when. But, like, that's also an excuse.
[00:20:14] Speaker B: Is there any way to take the judgment out of it, though? Like, can we look at it from a perspective of just, this is your. This is the nature of your reality right now. How much time you can spend with it. And there's no failure of storytelling. Clearly, you're engaged in it and you're invested in it.
[00:20:32] Speaker D: I feel so bad. You guys are amazing. Like, I feel so weird right now. Like, this is. Doesn't happen.
[00:20:38] Speaker E: I think.
[00:20:38] Speaker A: I think part of the problem is that you and I, you especially, and me living with you are immersed in this, for me, at least, it's hard to remember that other people are not aware.
[00:20:50] Speaker D: I tell them all my ideas.
[00:20:52] Speaker A: Depth of.
[00:20:52] Speaker D: I show them all my drawings.
[00:20:54] Speaker A: Investment. He's like, oh, my God.
[00:20:56] Speaker D: Wow.
[00:20:56] Speaker A: And obsession over the story.
[00:20:58] Speaker D: Shut up.
[00:20:59] Speaker A: Sorry.
I'm constantly impressed and amazed by it. So I'm not trying to ridicule you at all, though you may feel.
[00:21:08] Speaker D: I feel you're not trying to do anything. I just feel ridiculous. Exactly.
[00:21:14] Speaker E: Well, d and d is ridiculous. I don't know. I feel like. I think that maybe we could all think about, like, we could brainstorm ideas or something, like, because I know you guys have done, like, like, special, like, holiday episodes before, and, like, I don't know, I.
[00:21:32] Speaker A: We've talked about doing, like, just one on one, like, backstory either.
[00:21:37] Speaker D: Well, for everybody.
I said for everybody. I would love to have, like, sessions, special, do stuff for, like, we mention.
[00:21:47] Speaker A: It sometimes we're, like, scheduling is hard.
[00:21:49] Speaker D: Yeah. Then it would be like, oh, well, yeah, like, somebody is there and, like, somebody. This person could do it because, you know, like, this person, I love that.
[00:21:58] Speaker E: Like, right.
[00:21:59] Speaker A: That could be bonus content that could be monetized. Cause it's not critical necessarily to the story.
[00:22:06] Speaker E: Bonus episodes. Shut up.
[00:22:10] Speaker D: That's exactly their point, Eric.
[00:22:14] Speaker A: What? That's exactly my point.
[00:22:18] Speaker E: I mean, yeah, I think. I think, like, a pork fried dice. Like, pork fried dice. One shots, like, is a really good idea. Even. Like, I I would. Wouldn't it be cool if, like, Alex and Abby and I played whole other characters in a one shot about Will? Like, in Will's backstory? Like, like, I think there's so much, like, robust, like, rich, wild potential in d and d as a storytelling, like, story generating, like, engine and the collaborative kind of role play and storytelling, like, I. Like, there's. The sky's the limit. And so I think Eric's, like, right when he says, like, you know, when he refers to the narrowness of not. Not D and D, but of just, you know, the way that we have been playing, but we can always change that and expand it and, like, have fun with it, and, I don't know, we should think about it. And I think that might be a fun thing to do at some point.
[00:23:17] Speaker B: I agree. That'd be super fun.
[00:23:18] Speaker A: Well, you're overwhelmed right now.
[00:23:20] Speaker D: I'm so overwhelmed, I don't know how to play.
[00:23:22] Speaker A: Won't even make digital eye contact.
That's usually the obvious. I'm usually like, well, you're handing over.
[00:23:30] Speaker D: Here and looking on the screen, ever.
[00:23:34] Speaker C: I mean, it's. Sorry. I just want to be, like, I'm clear. Like, I'm not. I'm not.
I'm not sure if I'm understanding everything, but.
[00:23:44] Speaker E: Sure.
[00:23:47] Speaker D: Why would I love anyone with such a stupid name? Like, hello, are you in writing? You're literally writing my character.
[00:23:57] Speaker C: But what I said is, I didn't.
I didn't write it this way to challenge you. Like, I. That was not like my intention was really just to imagine what was the inner dialogue.
[00:24:12] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:24:13] Speaker B: Like, yeah, that was clear.
[00:24:15] Speaker C: Another voice, you know, and you nail it.
[00:24:19] Speaker E: I think. I think KT's reaction is a testament to the fact that you nailed it.
[00:24:22] Speaker A: But also I think KT would welcome being challenged in that way.
[00:24:27] Speaker D: In what way? In a way of. What do you mean?
[00:24:31] Speaker A: Like, yeah, like, writing. And I don't know. I guess I maybe don't know what he meant by challenging. Yeah.
[00:24:39] Speaker C: I mean, I meant. What I meant is, like, I, like, it's totally up to you how you want to develop Will's story. I'm not saying, like, we have to get, you know, we have to get the answers to these questions or anything like that. Like, it's more like out there, you know? Like, yeah.
And everyone knows, you know, I think everyone who listens knows.
Knows these questions are there. Like, they feel it. They feel the.
[00:25:09] Speaker D: You're. I'm gonna barf.
[00:25:12] Speaker E: Because Alex, good way.
[00:25:14] Speaker D: Like, touching or something. Like, yeah, it's good.
[00:25:20] Speaker A: Vomit. Your stomach are touching.
[00:25:24] Speaker B: I think that all of the wars would go away if people would get good with feeling uncomfortable.
[00:25:31] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:25:31] Speaker B: KT, feel the love and the reward of the good work that you put into your character. And, Alex, deal with the fact that we're all complimenting you and that you do actually understand people more than you believe you do.
[00:25:46] Speaker D: Totally do.
[00:25:47] Speaker E: And Israel and Palestine just play d and D with.
[00:25:51] Speaker B: Oh, get some hummus and chips. Let's go.
[00:25:55] Speaker E: Some hummus and chips.
[00:25:57] Speaker A: You gotta stop saying hummus, Abby.
[00:26:03] Speaker B: But that's not even.
[00:26:04] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:26:06] Speaker A: No, I'm just saying for my sake and for Adam's sake, because we will not be able to resist.
[00:26:10] Speaker D: I see.
[00:26:12] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:26:14] Speaker A: I resisted. Adam couldn't back and forth, and you.
[00:26:18] Speaker D: Only resisted because Adam said it first is really the truth, that's what.
[00:26:23] Speaker C: Guys, I was right on your heels.
[00:26:26] Speaker A: I resisted myself earlier today.
You're gonna have to cut this out.
[00:26:30] Speaker D: Oh, no, great.
[00:26:32] Speaker A: You were talking about the Trevor project and what would happen if you were a crisis counselor and adopting weird children like dogs from an animal? Sorry. No, no.
Compared to.
[00:26:44] Speaker D: To dogs. I said if I was a crisis counselor, the problem would be that I would always be like, you know what? Your parents fucking suck. Come and live on my property. Come live in my basement. Put a tent outside. We're going to figure it out.
[00:26:55] Speaker A: Like, the kind of people who work at animal shelters and then a dogs.
[00:27:00] Speaker F: They are.
[00:27:01] Speaker D: Yeah. And that's how it would happen.
[00:27:03] Speaker A: But in the midst of all this conversation, I resisted making. Part of the resisting is that I couldn't come up with a good joke. But it was joke.
[00:27:14] Speaker D: God, you guys divorce him, right?
[00:27:16] Speaker A: About the rainbow Bridge?
[00:27:18] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
Like, this is the sort of thing.
[00:27:30] Speaker B: That should go into a curvy especially.
Yes.
[00:27:34] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:27:35] Speaker D: Literally about, like, life and fucking death issues. You asshole. It's amazing.
[00:27:39] Speaker F: I just had to.
[00:27:40] Speaker E: I just had to google it.
[00:27:42] Speaker D: Oh, yeah.
[00:27:43] Speaker B: Just like you didn't know the Rainbow.
[00:27:44] Speaker D: Bridge journey of a pet after death. You'll meet them at the Rainbow Bridge. When you die, you'll meet all the pets you ever had. And I recently heard an amazing comedian. I wish I could maybe should look it up because I showed it to you. The comedian was saying, like, I feel like on your first day of dying, like, that's a lot of pressure. You show up and they're like, you got, like, seven lizards, three guinea pigs, four dogs, 17 cats, like, waiting for you at the rainbow bridge. Go pick them up. Like, it's just so much pressure.
[00:28:11] Speaker B: There's a bird who. You don't remember their name?
[00:28:16] Speaker D: Like, when did I have you? When I was three. What the f. That transfers to me. I thought that was my parents pet. That's messed up.
[00:28:24] Speaker E: That transfers to me.
[00:28:26] Speaker D: I didn't even like you.
My parents went to hell. So what am I gonna do? I gotta take care of this fucking parakeet now, I have a feeling that.
[00:28:34] Speaker B: On day one of training at the Trevor project for crisis counselors is that they. They say, never give your address.
[00:28:43] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
I know. It would be such a hard thing for me.
[00:28:49] Speaker E: And don't call suicidal gay teens dogs.
[00:28:54] Speaker D: Think about sending them to the Rainbow bridge or anything like that.
[00:28:58] Speaker A: Not sending them. Jesus.
[00:29:00] Speaker D: That's the threat. I'm like, you don't come away. Property.
[00:29:06] Speaker A: It is.
[00:29:07] Speaker E: It is very good. Although first I thought it was a Mario Kart reference, and I was like.
[00:29:14] Speaker B: There are bridge. There is one or two bridges.
[00:29:17] Speaker A: And there's something there, too, about young gay people in Mario Kart, I think.
[00:29:22] Speaker D: Well, like Waluigi and Wario or something. Like, don't they have. Isn't waluigi gay icon or a bi icon? I can't remember.
[00:29:30] Speaker B: Oh, is that true?
[00:29:31] Speaker D: I think so. And I know that Birdo is definitely a trans icon. I'm pretty sure.
[00:29:36] Speaker B: Oh, I love that.
[00:29:37] Speaker D: Yeah. Birdo, like, I think originally was supposed to be a boy and then was a girl and then is referred to by a they. And so it's totally like, queer people are just like, yes, Birdo is a trans icon.
[00:29:49] Speaker B: I refer to it as a they. How do I miss these conversations?
[00:29:52] Speaker C: Nothing to do with anything. But. But doesn't Birdo wear a bowtie?
[00:29:55] Speaker D: Yeah, a bow.
[00:29:56] Speaker C: It's a bow on their head.
[00:29:58] Speaker A: Yeah, a pink bow on their head.
[00:29:59] Speaker D: So maybe it was a bowtie and they put it on their head and that's the one.
[00:30:02] Speaker A: Or maybe a dude wore a bow on his head.
[00:30:04] Speaker D: Right.
[00:30:05] Speaker B: Well, you make both places. Exactly.
[00:30:08] Speaker D: Exactly.
[00:30:08] Speaker B: Yeah, I love that.
[00:30:10] Speaker D: Yeah. Go, Birdo. Go birdo.
[00:30:13] Speaker A: It's your transness. It's your transness.
Birdo's not going over the rainbow bridge anytime soon.
[00:30:20] Speaker D: Better not. Oh, my God. But what if there's a rainbow bridge in the next Rainbow Road and they can't go over it?
[00:30:27] Speaker A: What if that happened?
[00:30:28] Speaker D: What if that would be messy.
[00:30:28] Speaker A: Mario Kart accidentally called, like, what if all the people working on the next Mario Kart were, like, 40% of the people on this show who didn't know what the rainbow bridge was and nobody caught it, and the Rainbow bridge road was called the Rainbow Bridge in Mario Kart.
[00:30:48] Speaker D: Then they just have to afterwards add, like, a bunch of dogs floating around.
[00:30:52] Speaker C: As you're, like, driving over the bridge part. There are all these pets waving.
[00:30:59] Speaker A: Are we gonna play D and D?
[00:31:01] Speaker D: I don't know.
[00:31:01] Speaker A: I don't either, I guess. FYI, we just kept talking here, even though we said we were going to play D and D, and it wasn't that interesting. So you're welcome. And here's some more. Still not D and D. Bye.
[00:31:18] Speaker E: I posted an Instagram story yesterday about making a flyer promoting a vaccination clinic at work that's coming up on Halloween day. And, like, I was playing around in canva because my boss wants it to be, like, wants to maybe, like, make it a cute Halloween themed vaccination clinic flyer.
[00:31:37] Speaker A: But.
[00:31:38] Speaker E: So I found, like, a Halloween party flyer with, like, Halloween party in, like, the dripping bloody font.
[00:31:44] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:31:44] Speaker E: And I just replaced it with vaccination clinic.
[00:31:48] Speaker D: And I immediately.
[00:31:50] Speaker E: And there are skeletons dancing, like, down below. And I just. I was in tears, laughing for, like, five minutes in my office because, like.
[00:31:59] Speaker D: Yeah. Like, anti vax people would be like, yeah. This viral marketing against.
[00:32:04] Speaker E: Exactly.
[00:32:09] Speaker D: Halloween themed.
[00:32:11] Speaker E: So, like, that's a scene.
[00:32:13] Speaker F: That's like.
[00:32:14] Speaker E: That's like a scene in a tv show or it's a sketch, right? Somebody who's, like, makes that flyer. And the boss has to be like.
[00:32:20] Speaker D: Pinhead is at the front. Like, hello. You have an appointment? It's kind of. But it's syringes coming out. Holy shit.
[00:32:28] Speaker E: Oh, that's amazing.
[00:32:29] Speaker D: That's. That's a. There have to be a gajillion ideas for that. There's the saw, uh, syringe scene. Saw two, saw three. The pit of syringes. Gotta have something like that. This is. This is you. You're playing a game. You push someone into the pit and they get a random vaccine. We'll see what you were vaccinated against.
[00:32:50] Speaker F: Ah.
[00:32:51] Speaker D: Smallpox. Congratulations.
[00:32:52] Speaker A: I loved hearing how they filmed that scene. Do you remember the story of, like, the making of that? So there's a scene where there's literally a pit full of hypodermic needles.
[00:33:01] Speaker D: Oh, yeah.
[00:33:01] Speaker A: If you guys don't know, pushed into. And it's disgusting. But they had to. Interns, or whatever they're called on film sets, had to go and manually remove the needles from thousands of hypodermic needles. So it was just the syringe or whatever.
[00:33:16] Speaker D: Right.
[00:33:17] Speaker A: Then put them in, like. But it was like, this thing that took so long. Yeah.
[00:33:22] Speaker D: That's crazy. That they couldn't have just bought syringe.
[00:33:25] Speaker B: That's absolutely.
[00:33:26] Speaker A: Don't make them that way or something.
[00:33:27] Speaker D: Right? Like, you think that it would be cheaper than paying interns.
Well, I mean, maybe they pay them nothing. I guess that's the point.
That's the whole fucking point.
[00:33:38] Speaker A: Yeah. Thanks. So.
[00:33:40] Speaker D: I never heard about that.
[00:33:41] Speaker E: All right, guys, let's stop talking about D and D and start playing.
[00:33:46] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:33:46] Speaker C: That would be pretty awesome to have on your resume, though. Like, you know, the. The little paragraph underneath describing the skills that you gained on your internship removed.
[00:33:57] Speaker D: Way more needles than any other intern per hour.
[00:34:01] Speaker E: I was trying. We need to give kt a good cut because I'm pretty sure, like, I'm. In my mind, I'm, like, editing for kt.
[00:34:07] Speaker D: Yeah. I know. It happens to me too.
[00:34:09] Speaker E: I think, like, it. We. It goes up to, like, us talking through all the will kt vulnerability stuff, and then cut from there to. Okay, guys, now let's stop talking about D and D, and let's play some.
[00:34:26] Speaker D: D and D, especially since I just talked over it.
[00:34:36] Speaker A: Yeah, I know.
[00:34:39] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[00:34:40] Speaker A: Oh, well, guys, let's stop talking about D and D, and let's play D and D. Right, Adam?
[00:34:49] Speaker E: Yeah. Guys. Hey, let's stop talking about D and D, and let's play some D and D. Right, Eric?
[00:34:59] Speaker C: Adam, what if we just played some.
[00:35:02] Speaker A: D and D and stop talking about it?
[00:35:05] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:35:06] Speaker E: I don't know, guys. Abby, what do you think?
[00:35:11] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:35:13] Speaker E: All right.
[00:35:16] Speaker C: One of those.
One of those choices.
[00:35:19] Speaker D: Yeah. That's how it's gonna start. I'm gonna cut everything else out.
[00:35:25] Speaker B: Oh, that's my noise.
[00:35:26] Speaker D: That's my noise.
[00:35:28] Speaker B: My wrestler noise that we'll never, ever hear.
[00:35:31] Speaker C: The first line goes right into my.
Into my notes is, we finally start.
[00:35:41] Speaker A: I hope you have an eraser.
[00:35:43] Speaker C: Just kidding.
[00:35:45] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[00:35:46] Speaker A: We haven't yet.
Oh, that's my job.
So up on the deck of the ship.
[00:35:56] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:35:57] Speaker A: Libations have been had and are being had.
Shimi's not a fan of the green.
Rufina didn't take too well to it initially, but then either is, I think, drinking more of it now.
[00:36:15] Speaker D: She drank some water. I remember she drank some tea.
[00:36:18] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:36:18] Speaker D: I do remember.
[00:36:19] Speaker A: Maybe that was it.
[00:36:20] Speaker B: It made me fall down.
[00:36:21] Speaker A: Yeah, it did.
[00:36:22] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:36:22] Speaker A: You clutched your belly for a little while.
[00:36:24] Speaker D: Yeah. The drink made you, like, feel not well, and then you drank tea, and you were kind of not drunk, but still.
[00:36:31] Speaker B: Great.
[00:36:33] Speaker A: Moe's cavorting around, and Will and bathwack, aka Valencio and kick.
[00:36:42] Speaker D: Oh, my God. We're both different.
[00:36:44] Speaker A: Yeah, they're both different.
[00:36:45] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:36:47] Speaker A: You both flicked that switch, and you are strewn amongst each other within the confines of the suspended lifeboat on the side of the ship. They're not at risk. You're not, like, dangling over the sea.
So. Yeah.
[00:37:06] Speaker D: Wait, like, is it outside?
[00:37:07] Speaker A: No, no, no. That's what I'm saying.
[00:37:08] Speaker D: It's not.
[00:37:09] Speaker A: It's as pictured here. It's.
[00:37:10] Speaker D: Oh, sorry. I didn't even see.
[00:37:13] Speaker A: It's over the deck. It's by the edge of the deck, obviously, but it's.
[00:37:17] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah, I see that.
[00:37:18] Speaker A: You could theoretically fall out of it.
[00:37:20] Speaker D: But I just keep tumbling until I fall out of the boat. That's how comfortable I am right now. Got it.
[00:37:25] Speaker A: That's your solution?
[00:37:28] Speaker C: Exactly.
[00:37:29] Speaker A: So, since we ended with Will and Bathwack in a lifeboat, why don't we start with Will and bathwhack in a lifeboat?
[00:37:37] Speaker D: Making out. Just kidding.
[00:37:39] Speaker A: I wrote it down too late. Making out. Writing it twice.
[00:37:45] Speaker D: Writing it down twice. I don't remember what was said last.
[00:37:49] Speaker C: Oh, hey, Will, isn't it funny that our boat is on another boat?
[00:37:57] Speaker D: It's so funny.
[00:38:02] Speaker C: It's, uh.
It's a lifeboat, right?
[00:38:07] Speaker D: I guess. Yeah.
Like, I'm trying to get out. I think. I try to, like, rock my way. He's doing this, like, rocking the boat so he can. So he can try to get his speed on the ground.
[00:38:18] Speaker A: Okay, give me a athletics check with disadvantage.
[00:38:24] Speaker D: No, where my character sheet is. Is it even open? Here we go. Okay, let's hope that this is connected still. Athletics. Oh, disadvantage.
[00:38:32] Speaker C: Hey, good job.
[00:38:34] Speaker D: Boop. Hey. You know, you see me do it and you don't even correct me. Oh, my God. A natural one. That was my last roll, too. Just look at that. My last roll is an insight natural one. And now I rolled natural one, and it's a zero because I have a negative one.
[00:38:48] Speaker A: Hmm. What am I gonna do with this?
[00:38:50] Speaker D: I don't know. What the fuck?
[00:38:52] Speaker B: Please don't be over the edge.
[00:38:54] Speaker C: We can still see the shore.
[00:38:57] Speaker D: Oh, yeah, that's true. I'm sure we'll be very comforted by that. Being out in the sea, in the dark, I can barely see the shore. I can swim in these shoes.
All right, so, God, what's.
[00:39:14] Speaker A: Will with a natural one leading to a total of zero athletics?
You can't get the timing right on the sway of the boat versus. It's like a kid learning how to swing himself on a swing. Like, you gotta do the right. They always stick up at the wrong time and stick them back at the wrong time. You know, they can't figure out the order. It doesn't make sense. It's counter intuitive.
[00:39:39] Speaker D: I must be drunker than I think I am or something, because if you.
[00:39:43] Speaker A: Weren'T drunk, you would have gotten a twelve, which wouldn't be that bad.
And so you end up, like, literally, like, flipping up over, like, your legs, like, kick back up over your head, and your head is, like, kind of scrunched down in the bottom of the boat, and you flip over bathwax kick's lap again.
[00:40:05] Speaker D: What the fuck?
[00:40:06] Speaker A: And kick you about? He's, like, upside down, and something slips out of one of the pockets on his. His suit and lands in your. Just right in your hand. Mmm.
[00:40:21] Speaker D: Fuck.
[00:40:21] Speaker A: It's.
[00:40:22] Speaker C: Look at it.
[00:40:23] Speaker A: It's a sheet of paper and there's a lot of words on it, so you might not Will's entire backstory.
[00:40:32] Speaker D: I don't even know what this would be.
[00:40:34] Speaker E: So organic.
[00:40:37] Speaker D: Yup.
[00:40:38] Speaker E: This is what I was talking about. Get really experimental and creative with DMV.
[00:40:42] Speaker A: No, this is me just having to avoid dming more sessions.
[00:40:46] Speaker D: Oh, my God. Amazing.
[00:40:48] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:40:48] Speaker D: What is it?
[00:40:49] Speaker A: Actually, it looks like it is a letter written to will from someone named Eldon.
[00:40:59] Speaker D: What the fuck?
[00:40:59] Speaker A: It looks well creased and well worn and like a little tattered around the edges and that kind of thing.
[00:41:08] Speaker E: To will from Eldon.
[00:41:10] Speaker D: Should I turn off. Turn off something for a second? I have a question for you. Just hours, private question for you.
[00:41:17] Speaker A: Okay, 1 second, guys.
[00:41:19] Speaker D: Can they hear us? Okay. They can't hear us anymore. My question is, is this something I am aware that I even have? Are you just making this up?
[00:41:27] Speaker A: You and I talked about it recently in our private lives.
[00:41:32] Speaker D: Oh, my God. Okay. All right.
[00:41:34] Speaker A: I haven't written it yet.
[00:41:35] Speaker D: I. But this is. Listeners. This is not something I have any idea. I have not seen this. You haven't written it yet?
[00:41:42] Speaker A: No.
[00:41:42] Speaker D: What are you. Oh, my God. Okay, wait, like, that's because you wrote one. I wrote something. But, like, this part of your writing experience?
[00:41:52] Speaker A: Yeah. You wrote a letter to Eldon from Will?
[00:41:54] Speaker D: I did. And this is something similar, I'm assuming. And now. Wow. That puts a lot of pressure on you to write something in the moment. Do you need any time? Do you need me to.
Do you need hear them? Actually. Do. Do you hear.
[00:42:08] Speaker A: I was hoping that will would snatch it away.
[00:42:11] Speaker D: I. Yes, but if I don't, I'm okay with rolling a natural one. Babe, this is kind of completely appropriate that I rolled a natural one. Like. So you're saying that I don't know anything about this? Like, I. I definitely don't. I'm saying I don't. But I'm okay with will not knowing anything about this.
[00:42:30] Speaker A: What do you mean?
[00:42:30] Speaker D: Not knowing anything about the fact that it fell out of his pocket. Take it and read it at leisure if you would like it. I grant you that. But also, you don't have to, because it's a natural one. That is absolutely fine. And you're the DM.
Okay.
[00:42:45] Speaker A: So do I need time to. To write?
[00:42:48] Speaker D: Do you? Well, I mean, do you want to. You can just also improvise it. You could take ten minutes to write it if you want, but right now you can wait until it. Whether you can ask what? Well, we can see whether he's going to look at it. If he looks at it right now, then say, I need ten minutes to write something, and then you write it, and that's. I don't think that's. I think that happens in real life.
[00:43:07] Speaker A: Sorry, what did you say? I'm already writing.
[00:43:08] Speaker D: Oh, my God. What I'm saying is that if you need the time, that's okay. And it is okay to take that time in real time. But if you want to tell, like, if you want to go back and see if he would even look at it first, and then if he looks at it, you say, okay, I need a few minutes just to write something. There you go, is all I'm saying. So we can say that to them and we can ask if he. Oh, my God.
[00:43:33] Speaker A: Abby's gone.
[00:43:34] Speaker D: Oh, my God. Okay. All right, all right.
[00:43:38] Speaker E: Let's play.
Act like we know what they're saying.
[00:43:41] Speaker C: Yeah, no, no, I don't think. Well, yeah, it has your whole backstory on it.
[00:43:49] Speaker E: What are you talking about? I don't. I never. You shouldn't be able to do that. I forbid it.
[00:43:58] Speaker C: It even. I mean.
[00:44:01] Speaker D: Oh, you think.
[00:44:02] Speaker E: You think. You think. No, no.
[00:44:04] Speaker C: Well, I mean, the notes, pretty explicit.
[00:44:05] Speaker D: No, no, no.
[00:44:06] Speaker C: It's.
[00:44:06] Speaker E: No, no.
[00:44:08] Speaker A: I basically.
[00:44:08] Speaker C: Manga. Like, it's got pictures all over it. I mean.
[00:44:11] Speaker E: Okay, well, I hate manga, and we both hate manga, and you know that, so stop it. Okay? Will is my creation, and if I don't want there to be a note with his backstory falling out of my pocket, then I don't cut me off.
It's more fun, I think, to do it in character.
I like Roscoe acting out.
You guys.
[00:44:47] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. Do it, do it, do it.
[00:44:50] Speaker E: Katie's so animated right now, though, Eric sweating.
[00:44:58] Speaker A: So I need to know real quick what, like, on the immediate outset, what would bathwack do with that? Seeing that and having that in his hands as Will is sort of flipped over on him and, well, out of you? Or is it something you're just gonna read? Are you going to tell will you have it and hand it back? Are you gonna shove it away?
[00:45:19] Speaker C: Is it open in front of me?
[00:45:21] Speaker A: Yeah, just, like, flopped out and unfolded. Like, you can see the words. It's a single sheet. Looks like front one paper.
[00:45:30] Speaker C: I'll probably just, like, hold it up to the moonlight and start reading it really fast, like it's the middle of.
[00:45:36] Speaker A: The day, but sure.
[00:45:37] Speaker C: What? It's all the day.
[00:45:38] Speaker D: The day. I thought it was nighttime.
[00:45:39] Speaker A: No.
[00:45:40] Speaker C: Oh, it's the afternoon, noon.
[00:45:42] Speaker D: Did I say nighttime?
[00:45:43] Speaker C: Because the feast was. Because the feast was earlier.
[00:45:47] Speaker D: Yeah. Was like a lunch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, I'm picturing our flag means death, you guys. I'm sorry. I'm picturing.
[00:45:53] Speaker F: I was.
[00:45:54] Speaker E: I was.
[00:45:55] Speaker D: What? I'm picturing.
[00:45:56] Speaker C: Yeah, I was kind of picturing that, too. Okay, good. So it's really daylight. Oh, man. A lot of day drinking. All right.
[00:46:02] Speaker D: Oh, my God. Yeah.
Trashed all day.
[00:46:09] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:46:10] Speaker C: I mean, I would. I would hold it up and, you know, I would try to read it as fast. Like, I mean, I'm not. It's. It just fell out, and it's, like, clearly asking to be looked at.
[00:46:20] Speaker A: It's.
[00:46:20] Speaker C: It's open, right? I mean.
[00:46:21] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:46:22] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:46:23] Speaker A: There's no wrong answer. I'm just making. You know, because. Because of that answer, I need a few minutes to write what you're reading. Okay.
[00:46:33] Speaker D: I put on a hat, so I feel like a cool guy right now.
[00:46:35] Speaker A: You are a cool guy.
[00:46:36] Speaker D: So cool. But I. You said I'm upside down. I'm like a cartoon character. My butts up in the air.
[00:46:41] Speaker A: Rolled a zero.
[00:46:42] Speaker D: I did roll zero. It's perfect. Also, I think I just, like, lost consciousness. Like, my. My heart is upside down.
[00:46:49] Speaker A: I think the dice complain about.
[00:46:52] Speaker D: Oh, my God. It's true. Because I live.
[00:46:54] Speaker A: They're always in.
[00:46:55] Speaker D: I haven't said that on the podcast. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, I haven't said that on the podcast, but, like, I recently said to Eric that I feel like the dice in this game often screw me over in terms story wise. Like, when. When something could be revealed about Will.
[00:47:11] Speaker A: Yep. Will rolls roll well, and everybody else rolls like shit.
[00:47:15] Speaker D: Yes, like shit. Like garbage.
[00:47:16] Speaker A: I mean, part of it is that's the way all of your characters.
[00:47:19] Speaker D: How I'm built. Like, I'm built to. To lie well, but, like. But I. You know, sometimes I'm just like, God damn it. Like, I. This is why I've agonized over whether I can actually play dungeons and dragons. Like, I know that I can create things. Like, I'm okay with the fact that I'm creative. I'm not saying I'm not. It's just more in terms of dungeons and dragons. I sometimes feel like a failure because I'm like, fuck. Like, what do I do? And also, I love slow burn, but at this point, I was just kind of like, I can't. I can't. Like, I don't know. Like, there's just no situation in which he would. There's so few situations in which he would say anything. So falling, rolling a zero and falling upside down and having a mystical letter fall out of my pocket that I personally, as a player, did not know about and. But as a. As a. But as a human, invented the concept of just a couple weeks ago with not even.
[00:48:10] Speaker A: Because within the past week.
[00:48:12] Speaker D: Within the past week, I think it was in the past couple weeks, whatever, that I wrote a letter that you are now basically either responding to or, I don't know, or if it's at the same time, I'm not sure, in the same tone.
[00:48:24] Speaker A: They don't necessarily talk to you.
[00:48:25] Speaker D: So it could be, like, completely unrelated to the letter that I wrote. Okay, well, like, I guess maybe eventually, if people really actually want to see a letter that I wrote, I could fucking say something about you guys. I have no fucking.
[00:48:39] Speaker A: Do you want to say that more clearly in case you actually want to put it in and it's unintelligible?
[00:48:42] Speaker D: I don't like if people would actually be interested in reading something like that. It was just like a writing exercise.
[00:48:47] Speaker A: Listen, leave a five star review and ask us and write your own version of what letter you think Elle wrote to. Wow. Will wrote to Eldon?
[00:48:59] Speaker D: Yeah. No, I.
[00:49:00] Speaker A: Because you're about to hear the one that Eldon wrote to Will. That I.
[00:49:05] Speaker D: That is the parent.
Yeah. Well, babe, you still have a few minutes. Nobody's here. You can still edit whatever you want.
[00:49:11] Speaker A: I'm just trying to go with it.
[00:49:13] Speaker D: I.
[00:49:13] Speaker A: It's not like a.
Yeah, I think I'm pretty happy with it.
[00:49:18] Speaker D: I think I love you.
[00:49:19] Speaker A: I hope you are.
[00:49:20] Speaker D: I am sure I will be astounded by whatever it is. I'm already astounded. This feels like, again, like the will's birthday episode. Like, and now guess what I have to write fucking recap for you played.
[00:49:31] Speaker A: Literally 1 minute of D and D. I know.
[00:49:33] Speaker D: Like, it's so. I'm just. I just feel so overwhelmed. I feel like it's actually my birthday right now. Everyone's being amazing and. And they're so sympathetic and empathetic to my ridiculous plight. That is a self imprisonment. It's my own.
[00:49:47] Speaker A: It's so hard for me to remember that you and I are the only people aware of that reality of the.
[00:49:53] Speaker D: Story that I've been writing.
[00:49:54] Speaker A: Just like. And your connection to it and your passion for it.
[00:49:58] Speaker D: Right. There was a recent moment when we were recording where you said you made some reveal about the name Eldon. And then Alex and Abby were like, wait, why do I know that? Name. And we were like, oh, my God. They don't remember. And that's totally normal because it's, like a fictional thing that happens once every.
Every once in a while.
[00:50:18] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:50:19] Speaker D: Like, why would you remember the details? But, like, to me, because I've been, like. Like, trying to create it and, like, draw it and, like, do these stuff. Like, it's so real. Like, it's so. Like, it's just another story that sits in my head. Anyway. Hi. What's up?
Sorry.
[00:50:35] Speaker A: Why are you sorry?
[00:50:37] Speaker D: Because we were talking. I think they came before this, and we were listening.
Is Gruyere a french word? Is that how you say it, Abby? How stupid do you.
[00:50:46] Speaker B: I say gruyere.
[00:50:48] Speaker D: Grier.
[00:50:49] Speaker B: It's like, I can't get the art. No, because I can't. I didn't start saying it when I was eight years old, so I can't ever pronounce it correctly.
[00:50:57] Speaker D: Gruyere.
Wait, say it again.
[00:51:00] Speaker B: Gruyere. Gruyere.
[00:51:02] Speaker D: Gruyere, gruyere, gruyere.
[00:51:06] Speaker A: That's the american pronunciation.
[00:51:08] Speaker B: How did the British say it's the french one?
[00:51:09] Speaker D: Gruyere. Okay, but what is the cheese that you put on french onion soup?
[00:51:13] Speaker E: Gruyere.
[00:51:14] Speaker D: Is that really what it is?
[00:51:16] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:51:16] Speaker B: Miss Lorna, for randomly, for my birthday, during the pandemic, came over and made french onion soup with these little tiny, like, what are they called? Crocs.
[00:51:27] Speaker D: The little crocs.
[00:51:28] Speaker B: Yeah, the tiny crocs. And she just left them with us. She's like, here, you can have these and make it again. I'm like, okay, so if you want to borrow the little crocs, I have that.
[00:51:37] Speaker D: I've always wanted to get some, actually, because I have made french onion soup many times before, but I don't have any appropriate dishware at all to cook it. Like, to broil the cheese on the.
[00:51:47] Speaker B: Melted in. Yeah.
[00:51:48] Speaker D: So we've always definitely just put cheese on top, and then it just melts anyway. But it doesn't have that. The flamey, the flaminess, or whatever on the top. So I've always wanted to get some of those crocs. Those crocs.
[00:52:00] Speaker B: It's a crock.
[00:52:01] Speaker D: I want to cook it in crocs. Like, my feet. Feet kind.
[00:52:04] Speaker A: Has anybody ever served french onion soup in a crock?
[00:52:08] Speaker D: Oh, if they haven't, I gotta draw, and it's gotta be our thing. That's. That's how pork fried dice will make its money, by serving french onion.
[00:52:16] Speaker B: Picture of a crock pot. Like, we had a picture, didn't it? Was. Didn't we do that where I put all my crocks into, like, a pot.
[00:52:23] Speaker A: And then you had it, like, sitting by your doors.
[00:52:26] Speaker D: How long ago was this?
[00:52:27] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. A long time ago. I think it's when you first introduced me to crocs.
[00:52:31] Speaker A: To crocs? Yeah. Oh, and then, like, you would have to color the croc with the soup in it, like, the traditional, like, brown and tan, like, stripes or whatever, because they're always that dark brown.
[00:52:45] Speaker D: Right? Yeah.
[00:52:45] Speaker A: Seventies. Yes.
[00:52:47] Speaker D: That's what I think. I don't even know if it's from the seventies or if it's just, like.
[00:52:50] Speaker B: Feels like something.
[00:52:51] Speaker D: I don't know.
[00:52:52] Speaker B: The French are stuck in this.
[00:52:53] Speaker A: That, like, I guess belongs with panel. Do we have french basements?
[00:52:57] Speaker B: Fans? Because now we don't anymore.
[00:53:00] Speaker D: Anymore because I just insulted them. Oh, okay. I like to. I'm gonna imagine a whole timeline where there's a french fan that's been communicating with Abby.
[00:53:10] Speaker A: Abby was having an affair with. But they just broke it off.
[00:53:12] Speaker D: And they just broke it off. And he's like, we. She's like, we used to have a french fan because she made a look at Alex, like.
[00:53:19] Speaker A: Uh huh. The things Abby does for our podcast.
[00:53:22] Speaker B: Someday I'll tell you about the french person that I had this whole, like, relationship with, but never, like, was closer than 100ft to him because he was in the building across the street, and we just, like, waved to each other out the window for eight weeks.
That was it.
[00:53:38] Speaker C: That was it.
[00:53:39] Speaker D: That's like a Pixar movie.
[00:53:40] Speaker E: Wait, he was french?
[00:53:42] Speaker B: No, I didn't know he was french. I assume he was french because I was in Paris at the time, but.
[00:53:48] Speaker D: Oh, he was wearing. He was wearing later hosen.
[00:53:53] Speaker A: That is so funny.
That is a key detail.
[00:53:58] Speaker D: How did you know he was french?
[00:53:59] Speaker A: Just assume he is french. We were in Minneapolis at the time.
[00:54:04] Speaker E: Minneapolis? Minneapolis.
[00:54:07] Speaker A: You guys could have built a rainbow bridge for. From one building to the other.
[00:54:10] Speaker B: Yeah, well, you know, I juggled for him one night and another night he played the guitar, but I couldn't hear it cause it was too far across the street.
[00:54:16] Speaker A: You can juggle, Abby.
[00:54:17] Speaker D: What the fuck? You are.
[00:54:19] Speaker A: You can juggle.
[00:54:20] Speaker D: You always are more magical than we already think, is what I just like. She literally. How did you not know I juggle, Abby?
[00:54:28] Speaker C: Now I know you jump.
[00:54:29] Speaker D: I don't think I knew that, but I think I knew it in my soul.
[00:54:32] Speaker A: I mean, we know you can juggle men.
That's what we're talking about here.
[00:54:36] Speaker D: Oh, okay. Abby, please juggle for us. Adam's asleep.
[00:54:41] Speaker A: Adam's realizing the truth behind the story he's always told of his summer in Paris.
[00:54:46] Speaker D: Yep.
[00:54:47] Speaker B: Oh, no.
[00:54:48] Speaker A: There was this woman 100ft away from me in another building.
[00:54:51] Speaker D: She thought I was french. I'm really from Minneapolis.
[00:54:57] Speaker A: He always thought she was french.
[00:55:00] Speaker E: Can't believe neither of us were french.
So embarrassing.
[00:55:06] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[00:55:07] Speaker E: Estoy and Barisado.
[00:55:10] Speaker D: Oh, wow. Oh, you're pregnant. Yes, you're pregnant.
[00:55:13] Speaker B: In Minneapolis.
[00:55:17] Speaker D: People learn so much on this podcast, you guys.
We're creating a whole generation of learned learners.
[00:55:25] Speaker A: So this is what you wanted out of this. This medium, right, KT? This is satisfying to you?
[00:55:31] Speaker D: Yes, it already has been. It's been overwhelming.
[00:55:34] Speaker B: I love it all.
[00:55:34] Speaker D: Let's go.
Eric's like, please don't.
[00:55:38] Speaker A: We're writing this story slower than George Rr Martin.
[00:55:44] Speaker D: It's probably true, but guess what? We're not getting paid to do it. Don't worry. We're not professional actors. We're having fun, unlike those losers that get paid for.
[00:55:55] Speaker A: Any ko fi donators. We do see you.
[00:55:58] Speaker D: Yeah, we totally do. Oh, that was not. I'll remove it if it sounded like that. That was not my. I just wanted to make it clear.
[00:56:03] Speaker A: Some people have given us money.
[00:56:04] Speaker D: I'm just saying, like, we can't compare ourselves to people who are, like, paid organizations.
[00:56:08] Speaker A: This is not a paying job for us.
[00:56:10] Speaker D: It's fun. Okay.
[00:56:11] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:56:11] Speaker D: We're all seducing each other slowly over many years. Don't worry. We all end up together in the end.
[00:56:18] Speaker A: You would also accept payment in wikis?
[00:56:21] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:56:23] Speaker A: So you hold the letter up to the early afternoon light, and it says.
[00:56:30] Speaker C: Way out past my nose.
[00:56:32] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly.
Dearest night hag. Oh, sorry. I mean will.
You're at work, too.
[00:56:41] Speaker B: I'm not listening.
[00:56:43] Speaker A: Abby's listening. That's fine. You're at work. Too late again.
I am waiting patiently for you in your study, eating grapes on my sofa near your desk.
I'm going to give you the foot massage you desperately need, despite your insincere protestations.
I loved the figs you left for me, by the way. Oh, look at me rambling. Just get in here, sweetie, and let me stare at you in those extremely well tailored, tapper down trousers.
Your love, mister. Experience, comma eldon.
[00:57:23] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[00:57:27] Speaker E: Wow.
[00:57:28] Speaker D: Oh, my God. That didn't fall out of my pocket. And I cast lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie. What the fuck?
[00:57:36] Speaker C: So now that I've skimmed it, I'm going to.
[00:57:42] Speaker D: I kill you.
[00:57:43] Speaker A: Skimmed it. I love that I've skimmed it.
[00:57:46] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:57:47] Speaker C: I mean, you're just literally like, will, you're late.
Sofa's grape desk. Loved figs. Extremely tapper down experience.
Yeah, I totally understand. I shove it in my coat.
[00:58:05] Speaker D: Do you actually take it?
[00:58:06] Speaker C: Yep.
[00:58:07] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:58:07] Speaker D: Oh, my God. Okay, so I don't see it, I guess.
[00:58:11] Speaker A: No, not with a zero.
[00:58:12] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[00:58:13] Speaker A: You're still halfway upside down.
[00:58:15] Speaker D: Oh, my God. That's so mean. Okay, okay.
[00:58:18] Speaker B: Talk to the dice.
[00:58:20] Speaker D: I. How do I. Can I upright myself now?
[00:58:23] Speaker A: You can?
[00:58:24] Speaker D: Okay, good.
[00:58:24] Speaker A: It's been a while.
[00:58:25] Speaker D: Yeah, it's been way too long.
And then I try to get out of the boat.
[00:58:30] Speaker A: Roll an athletics check with disadville.
[00:58:32] Speaker D: Ridiculous.
[00:58:33] Speaker C: Hey, Will.
Who's Eldon?
This is bathwax speaking now, quietly.
[00:58:40] Speaker A: Mm hmm. Yeah, it's not the same.
[00:58:41] Speaker D: Yeah, I know your pathwhack. I know that you're in.
[00:58:45] Speaker C: I just been clear.
[00:58:46] Speaker D: I'm changing my jokes.
[00:58:47] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, I'm joking.
[00:58:49] Speaker A: I love you.
[00:58:50] Speaker C: Well, this is Pathwack speaking.
[00:58:53] Speaker D: I get it.
Um.
I don't fucking know. Why don't you go ask gnar?
I say it like that, too.
[00:59:04] Speaker C: You don't know, mister experience?
[00:59:07] Speaker D: The fuck.
Like, I. I don't even know what the fuck to make of that.
I just suspiciously look at him. No, I'm just, like. I pause like I was trying to rock the boat again, and then I'm just like. Glare, like, narrow eyes, and I'm frozen like this. Like, what?
[00:59:26] Speaker A: Shrugging, like, with your. Yeah, I'm describing it to the listeners.
[00:59:29] Speaker D: What?
And. But I'm drunk. I don't know how to. Am I drunk?
[00:59:36] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:59:37] Speaker D: No. What? Who. Who are you even talking about?
[00:59:41] Speaker C: Elden?
I mean, this is the same. This is the same Eldon, right?
[00:59:47] Speaker D: What?
[00:59:47] Speaker C: The same. Talking about the same Elden. That nar.
Is it that Dar knows?
[01:00:02] Speaker D: Yeah, he didn't see the letter fall out, so he has no idea what he's talking about. So he is just, like, icking himself away, like, trying to ick his way out of the boat.
[01:00:13] Speaker A: Ick. Check, check.
[01:00:16] Speaker C: I know you know, Eldon.
[01:00:19] Speaker D: Why the fuck does this even matter? Who the fuck are you, and why are you asking me these questions? And he looks around because. Who is around? Does anyone see us in this boat? Is anyone.
[01:00:29] Speaker C: I'm trying to talk quietly. That no one can hear me.
[01:00:33] Speaker A: Um, I mean, nar is not necessarily. He's just kind of wandering around. He seems to be pretty. Well, he's like, two and a half sheets to the wind.
He's over there talking to Shimi. I'm not sure what Rafina's doing.
[01:00:50] Speaker B: I don't.
[01:00:50] Speaker D: The worm?
[01:00:51] Speaker B: Yeah. Probably still on the floor. I feel like I did get up, though.
[01:00:56] Speaker C: Will, it. It's okay to love people.
You don't have to hide it.
[01:01:04] Speaker D: I feel like it's almost, like, okay. And I'm only saying this because Will has had stupid gullies. End green, which probably spilled everywhere when I fell over.
[01:01:12] Speaker A: Probably.
[01:01:12] Speaker D: So I don't even have anymore. But anyway, I feel like it's a cartoon that, like, suddenly his cheeks, like, suck into his mouth. Like. Like he's trying to. Like, if you know anything, he's about to, like, bawl, and he's like.
And then he just, like. He just tries to start rocking again. Okay, why are you being so weird? Is this a new character that you're playing? Kik is too involved in weird romance. Well, who are you performing for? It's me. Do you know who I am?
[01:01:47] Speaker C: Yeah. And, you know. You know who I am, too. We're both wearing masks right now.
[01:01:56] Speaker D: He just gives up kicking in the boat, which lays back down.
[01:02:02] Speaker C: Well, and in this. I mean, maybe it's just like me. Like, maybe there's something going on. There's another timeline.
I mean, what are you talking about?
Like, I mean, there's an eldon in this timeline, and there's an elden in the real timeline.
You're elden, right?
[01:02:34] Speaker D: What are you talking about?
And he, like. He probably has, like, tears.
[01:02:41] Speaker C: Then Bethwick will pull the letter back out and put it in Will's hand.
[01:02:49] Speaker D: Oh, man.
[01:02:50] Speaker C: You dropped this.
[01:02:51] Speaker D: Do I recognize.
[01:02:53] Speaker A: Yeah, of course you do.
[01:02:54] Speaker D: This is so weird, because I did not write that. But, no, neither did will.
[01:02:59] Speaker A: No, did.
[01:03:00] Speaker D: Yeah.
Oh, my God. He is such a. So. Okay, this is what he does. He has an inclination to take it, like, to snatch it and to throw it away, like, as if he doesn't care about it.
[01:03:19] Speaker C: I mean, you don't need to snatch it. I placed it in your hand. I pray that.
[01:03:23] Speaker D: But he takes however you do it. He. Like. He's, like, accepts it and, like, acts as if. Like, it's not important. And then, like. Like, stops that gesture and just, like, eyes averted, just, like, puts it inside his coat, like, in a different pocket that. I guess it was, because if he thinks that it fell out just from falling upside down, then.
[01:03:51] Speaker A: A zero falling upside down. A natural one falling upside down.
[01:03:55] Speaker D: Well, no, no, no. I'm not making fun of you. I'm just saying, if he realizes that it could have fallen out. He puts it in a place that he thinks is more secure.
[01:04:04] Speaker A: I just wanted to say that calmly. I was trying to make it clear. Clear to illustrate that will would have put this, initially in a secret safe pocket. It just is the confluence of whatever.
[01:04:14] Speaker D: Yeah, no, I'm friction and whatever and ridiculous.
[01:04:18] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:04:18] Speaker D: Um. Yeah. And. And I think, yeah, no, he, like. Like I said, it's like his natural instinct is to throw it away. Like, I don't care about this, but, like, he will not do that. And he just, like, almost, like, nope. Just. It's right in there. And he can't even, like, acknowledge that he's doing it, and then he just lays there.
[01:04:40] Speaker C: So. Will dissociating again. Bethlehem is trying to talk really quietly because he's not using the. His fake gravelly voice.
Is Eldon. Is Eldon safe at least?
I mean, where is Elden? Who's Eldon?
[01:04:56] Speaker D: I don't know. Well, I don't know if he's safe. This is not. It's not really. You know what? It's not even my business anyway. What is.
And then he looks at Bathwick like, why is Bathwick saying all these things? What is. Okay.
Yeah. Perception. Roll. Like, insight. Roll whatever into bathwack. Like, why the fuck is bathwag doing this? And where did he get this letter? How dare it fall out of my pocket.
[01:05:28] Speaker A: Insight with disadvantage.
[01:05:30] Speaker D: Oh, my God. I'm not going to know anything.
Where the hell is it? Oh, my God.
[01:05:35] Speaker B: Is it disadvantaged because of the green?
[01:05:38] Speaker A: Yes.
[01:05:39] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:05:41] Speaker A: All right. That's a 13.
I don't think Bathwag is trying to deceive you necessarily, so I don't think he needs to roll a deception check. Is that accurate, Alex?
[01:05:56] Speaker C: Yeah. So, I mean, so far as you're.
[01:05:58] Speaker A: Not trying to hide anything. So what was your. What are you trying to incite?
[01:06:04] Speaker D: He's trying to, like. He's looking like. He's suddenly, like. It's like, chest swells up. Like. He's, like, all, like, how dare somebody even be looking at it? Like, this is like, a horrible, you said, confluence of events, essentially. Like, he was just eating dinner for the. Like, a nice dinner for the first time in so long that it didn't have, like, twig tea or raw fish in it or something. It was like an actual attempt to be elegant. And I say attempt just because of the snake heads. It freaks me out.
[01:06:34] Speaker A: It was just boiled serpent. Jesus. You didn't have to eat the heads, you guys.
[01:06:38] Speaker D: You're not supposed to.
I'm pretty sure Adam was the one that made it up, and I loved it so much. Like, just like, it wasn't the snakeheads that give you the poopies or whatever you said last time. It made me laugh, but, like, yeah, like, he thought, like, this is fine. This is a, this is like a.
This is safe. I'm a different person. I am. We're focused on bath wax. Like, journey. We just had, like, a nice meal. I'm gonna sleep in a room by myself with a lock on the door. This is pretty decent. Even though we're going to go fight a giant thing that'll probably kill us all. And then, like, he sees Eldon's eyes in the brain of some fucking other dude. And then, like, and now all of a sudden, bathrock's asking all these questions, like, this is too much in a row. And, like, why is bathwag, like, how do you get this letter? And it probably fell out of my pocket, but that's super embarrassing. Like, how are all these things happening? My insight is basically like, why is bathwag even curious about this?
Why, like, why is he asking these questions? Is he trying to make fun of me so bad?
[01:07:56] Speaker C: Says, do you. Do you. Do you think he's the same person in this timeline?
Or do you think he's someone else?
And I'll give you this, like, you actually, maybe you think for a minute that Bathwick is also wondering if his family is the same family.
[01:08:20] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[01:08:23] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[01:08:25] Speaker D: Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.
Is he like, oh, my God. Like, like, what is it about his little turtle y face? Like, does he have big pupils? Is he like, looking like, is Elden the same person? And like, is my family the same family?
[01:08:50] Speaker E: All your descriptions tonight are so like, anime. You hate anime.
[01:08:55] Speaker D: I love it. I don't like anime at all. I don't.
[01:08:58] Speaker E: But like, you're like, the cheeks going in and like, the big eyes.
[01:09:02] Speaker D: I'm like, kt, that's so funny.
I'm thinking about, like, Pixar is really what I'm.
[01:09:08] Speaker E: Oh, sure.
[01:09:09] Speaker D: And I love, I will clarify because I do love totoro. I love Totoro so much.
Like, cuz they're like, what about Totoro? And I'm like, I know Totoro is.
[01:09:19] Speaker B: I don't think of Totoro is.
I mean, it is an anime, though. It's the style.
[01:09:24] Speaker D: It's the style I would and I would honestly love. I don't mean to demean, like, a whole fucking cultural phenomenon. I just have never. I had an ex boyfriend who was super into fucking Dragon Ball Z, which, I'm so sorry. It was so ridiculous. Like, I just couldn't take it. And then I was trying, like, he also was part of an anime club, and, like, I didn't like the anime that we watched in that club.
[01:09:45] Speaker B: Alex and I broke up for a year after he showed me anime.
[01:09:52] Speaker D: Yay.
[01:09:54] Speaker B: Please tell me you know that story. Have I really not told you that story?
[01:09:57] Speaker D: I'm pretty sure you have, because it's. It's to do with the binders. Right? Like, the binder or something.
[01:10:04] Speaker B: That was the part of. That's how we got back together is when he brought back the binders.
[01:10:08] Speaker D: Yeah. But anyway, like, like, yeah, I'm sorry that I'm anime, you guys. But also, if you're a fan of anime out there, you're welcome. You're welcome.
But, yeah, like, if Bathrock looks like he's. If that's. If that's what I get. I love that so much.
Oh, my God.
[01:10:30] Speaker B: Exactly what I knew they were gonna say.
[01:10:32] Speaker E: Oh, my God.
[01:10:34] Speaker B: Exactly what he would. I mean, that's exactly what I was thinking. He was thinking. So it's just so true to the character. Oh, my gosh.
[01:10:40] Speaker D: Yeah. Like, I think that maybe he says Will is not looking at him because he's trying not to look at him because he's. He's always. He's trying to cast insight, but he's also trying to not to look at him because he's being so sincere and disgusting. Right? So, like, will look away and not wanting to engage, but then Bathwalk asks this question and he looks at him to get this insight because he's like, what kind of fucking question is that? But then he looks at him and he sees this sincerity of, like, that he might be concerned about his own family, which, like, will was, like, knowing how important this was to him and was like, Bernard, I'm not. I'm, you know, he sent Bernard away. And, like, that's been something I've been, like, dealing with. I'm like, Bernard's gone. I'm really worried about Bernard. So that's huge. And I think he says, like, I don't know, with, like, all the emotion that, like, teary eyed, ridiculously drunk. Teary eyed. They got swollen pupils right now. Okay, everybody.
Hey.
[01:11:42] Speaker F: Well, you got swollen pupis.
[01:11:46] Speaker D: Ew.
Cuties.
I don't know. And it doesn't matter anyway because we'll fix it, I think, hopefully. What are you typing?
[01:12:03] Speaker A: Nothing. Eric, keep talking.
[01:12:04] Speaker D: Typing. Big types.
[01:12:05] Speaker A: I'm not there.
[01:12:06] Speaker C: Yeah, sorry. I was also making notes.
We'll fix it.
Yeah, but, I mean, I don't know. Were things.
Were things better for you?
Which timeline would you choose?
[01:12:38] Speaker D: Neither.
[01:12:45] Speaker C: Yeah, man, I don't even know what to say.
[01:12:52] Speaker D: Yeah.
[01:12:55] Speaker C: Neither.
[01:13:02] Speaker D: Is bathrock. Taken aback by the if. Bathwalk's just taken aback.
[01:13:05] Speaker C: Yeah, you said neither. Yeah. And now you just know what to do.
[01:13:08] Speaker A: Time. I can cut. Or if you want to live in that silence and then keep going.
[01:13:12] Speaker D: Oh, you can totally go ahead. Poor Adam hasn't been able to do anything.
[01:13:18] Speaker B: You hear a snivel, a sniffle coming from under the boat.
[01:13:27] Speaker A: And then we'll cut.
All right, fetus.
[01:13:31] Speaker F: Been there the whole time.
[01:13:36] Speaker A: Out of character. Yes.
[01:13:39] Speaker E: Oh, that's what Abby's chat in the world 20 chat was.
[01:13:42] Speaker D: Oh, really? I don't see anything she wrote.
[01:13:45] Speaker E: Oh, yes, we all see it.
[01:13:47] Speaker D: I can't see. Oh, that's who you're talking to. Oh, my God. I love it. Oh, that's cute. I love it.
[01:13:52] Speaker A: Yes. Rafina had, I don't think intentionally ended up under the lifeboat.
And where is the.
[01:14:02] Speaker C: Oh, it's not a real tony chat. We can see you were whispering most.
[01:14:05] Speaker A: It was all supposed to be hidden.
[01:14:07] Speaker E: This last one was not.
[01:14:08] Speaker B: But I didn't know how to. I didn't know how to whisper.
[01:14:10] Speaker D: I can't even.
[01:14:11] Speaker C: The last one you just wrote. Oh, yes.
[01:14:13] Speaker E: Yeah.
[01:14:14] Speaker D: Oh, yes.
[01:14:17] Speaker E: Loud sex.
[01:14:18] Speaker A: Loud sex. Lady. Samsung lsl.
[01:14:23] Speaker E: Oh, yes.
[01:14:26] Speaker A: All right.
[01:14:27] Speaker E: Yeah. So Roscoe realizes what the birds been trying to say, and he's like, oh, yes.
[01:14:33] Speaker A: And he.
[01:14:35] Speaker F: Of course, of course.
[01:14:40] Speaker E: And he opens the porthole for the bird.
[01:14:46] Speaker A: All right. And it's a big bird, so it kind of, like, has to squeeze in. It's like, oh, it's a porthole that, like, rotates on the center. It doesn't flip up, so it's, like, half a circle that it has to kind of, like, wedge into and stick its big head.
[01:15:02] Speaker E: You got it.
[01:15:03] Speaker A: Pull my beak.
[01:15:04] Speaker D: What the fuck?
[01:15:05] Speaker A: Pull my beak.
[01:15:06] Speaker F: You want to pull your beak? Okay, yeah, I just pull too hard.
[01:15:12] Speaker D: Okay, okay.
[01:15:13] Speaker E: All right.
[01:15:13] Speaker D: Harder, harder.
[01:15:15] Speaker F: Okay, okay, I'm pulling.
[01:15:18] Speaker A: And then with a.
[01:15:24] Speaker C: Bird is a giant cinder block that slides through the porthole.
[01:15:29] Speaker D: All the paint is scraped off. Somebody's gonna have to varnish there.
[01:15:34] Speaker A: At least it's not your stateroom.
And, yeah, the bird pops through and feathers kind of scrape off and fill the air, and it thumps onto the ground and gets up to its. Its feet. It's very big. It's, like, half your height when it's standing. Roscoe takes up a lot of the room, and it sort of cleans up some of its askew feathers with its bill and then looks up at you.
You trying to torture me or what?
[01:16:15] Speaker F: I don't think so.
[01:16:17] Speaker A: I left me out there, just staring at me. There was this just like. Just these pair of dead eyes just looking out. I keep tapping. I keep tapping.
[01:16:29] Speaker F: Do my eyes look dead right now? Because.
[01:16:33] Speaker A: Oh, not right now. They did. At least maybe it felt that way.
[01:16:38] Speaker F: I just. I don't think I was trying to torture you. I mean, right now I feel really fucking happy.
And I don't think people torture when they're fucking happy.
[01:16:55] Speaker A: I think. I think that's. I hope that's true.
[01:16:59] Speaker F: So you're a dark and boy, huh?
[01:17:03] Speaker A: I'm a. I'm a God.
So I guess I look like a bird, but yeah.
[01:17:11] Speaker D: Oh, boy.
[01:17:13] Speaker F: You're, uh.
You're. I'm sorry. I could, uh.
[01:17:19] Speaker E: Could you.
[01:17:20] Speaker D: Can you repeat.
[01:17:21] Speaker F: Could you say that again? Because I thought I.
[01:17:26] Speaker A: Said I look like a bird.
[01:17:27] Speaker E: Oh, it's this brown tree. It's a brown tree. I could have sworn you said.
[01:17:31] Speaker F: You said that you were a God.
[01:17:33] Speaker E: Oh, it's so funny.
[01:17:35] Speaker F: Um, yeah, I did.
You did what?
[01:17:40] Speaker A: Said that I was a God also. I was and am a God.
[01:17:50] Speaker F: Okay.
All right. Well, this is a weird thing that I'm sort of clocking in me right now.
[01:17:56] Speaker A: Okay. You can sit in that.
[01:17:58] Speaker F: For the first time in my life, I'm kind of, like, happy to hear it. What the fuck?
[01:18:13] Speaker A: You happy to hear that a God is a God? Or that a bird is a God? Or that I'm a God?
[01:18:18] Speaker F: All three?
I don't. I don't typically like that. I've always had kind of an evasion to these things, but right now my brain is on drugs.
That must. That must be why I'm feeling strangely attuned to the possibility that maybe your godlike status, whether objectively true or not, could afford me some useful insight into.
[01:18:53] Speaker D: My fucked up life.
[01:18:56] Speaker F: Oh, my gosh. Wow.
[01:18:58] Speaker D: What?
[01:18:58] Speaker F: Okay, so there's.
[01:19:02] Speaker D: I.
[01:19:03] Speaker F: There was. I think I've heard them talking about the rainbow trout. I think we met the anglerfish. We. We met all that. Fuck the captive eating coyote. Although we thought it sounded, like, captivating. And that was a fun little twist.
[01:19:18] Speaker E: Almost feels.
[01:19:19] Speaker A: I think it's actually written. It's actually captivating. But he likes to style himself that way.
So you weren't eaten, were you?
[01:19:32] Speaker F: We were. We were eaten and digested.
Hmm.
[01:19:37] Speaker E: But actually, yeah, we went through a digestive system.
[01:19:44] Speaker A: But wasn't it, like, a fun house?
[01:19:46] Speaker F: It wasn't fun. We almost died.
[01:19:49] Speaker A: But it's like a carnival. Everybody loves a carnival.
Remember the brown treat?
[01:20:02] Speaker F: Yes, Willie, everybody loves a carnival.
They do?
[01:20:12] Speaker D: Yeah.
[01:20:13] Speaker F: Yeah, they do.
[01:20:14] Speaker D: And I get it. I get it.
[01:20:18] Speaker F: You know?
[01:20:19] Speaker B: Mm hmm.
[01:20:20] Speaker F: They've got their time in their place, right? Shitty time. And it's a shitty place, but, uh, sure.
[01:20:29] Speaker A: Not a fan of carnivals.
[01:20:31] Speaker F: Not usually.
[01:20:33] Speaker A: Okay, that's fine. To each their own, I suppose.
[01:20:38] Speaker F: You know, I was gonna ask you which one of those other gods you almost like, but the fact that you're already kind of displaying a kind of tone deafness about the captivating coyote and sort of displaying a kind of, I don't know, apologetic stance toward its behavior tells me that I might have a lot of fun being mad at you.
[01:21:05] Speaker A: Oh, interesting. What did he ever do to you? Aside from digest you?
[01:21:11] Speaker B: Hmm.
[01:21:13] Speaker F: Well, I'm trying to remember.
[01:21:20] Speaker A: I know a good resource.
[01:21:21] Speaker E: If only I had.
[01:21:22] Speaker A: We gods rely on it every day. It's the pork fried dice Wiki.
[01:21:35] Speaker E: Yeah.
[01:21:36] Speaker A: God tested. God approved.
[01:21:39] Speaker E: God tested.
[01:21:45] Speaker F: Well, I know it was bad.
We were in life threatening situations. Wasn't there a room where the walls were, like, the ceiling was gonna crush us?
[01:21:58] Speaker D: Hmm?
[01:21:59] Speaker F: Have you been in there?
[01:22:02] Speaker A: No.
[01:22:03] Speaker F: So you don't even know?
[01:22:04] Speaker A: Were you crushed?
[01:22:05] Speaker F: No, but that was because we escaped.
[01:22:08] Speaker A: I mean, you don't think they. He would have actually crushed you, do you?
[01:22:15] Speaker F: I don't see why not.
[01:22:17] Speaker A: Why would he?
[01:22:20] Speaker F: I think that's besides the point, though.
[01:22:22] Speaker A: Because it caused, like, murder is. Murder's bad.
I would never kill anybody. Whoa. Why would he.
[01:22:31] Speaker D: You would never kill anybody?
[01:22:34] Speaker A: Yeah, will, I would never kill anybody. Is that so ridiculous?
[01:22:38] Speaker D: I just think that's very interesting that a God would say that.
Jeez, anybody.
[01:22:43] Speaker F: And, uh, just who exactly are you, anyway?
[01:22:50] Speaker A: Me?
Yeah.
[01:22:52] Speaker D: The cross.
[01:22:53] Speaker A: Albatross.
[01:22:55] Speaker B: Cross.
[01:22:56] Speaker F: The cross. Albatross. And what exactly are you so cross about.
[01:23:05] Speaker D: Huh?
[01:23:07] Speaker A: What? Why would it be cross?
That's just that that's my name.
[01:23:15] Speaker F: Oh, is that your first name?
[01:23:18] Speaker A: It just. Just is my name.
[01:23:20] Speaker F: Okay, but you never thought about, like, what it signifies as a white?
[01:23:25] Speaker A: I mean, what's your name?
[01:23:31] Speaker F: Ames. I'm Roscoe Laflaw.
I'm rascal of law. Did I say it so much? And it makes me so happy.
[01:23:48] Speaker D: Is that the baby noise?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Adam just acted. I'm gonna be the podcast equivalent of subtitles like Adam just.
[01:23:59] Speaker A: No, not subtitles.
It's description for the blind.
[01:24:03] Speaker D: Yeah, description for the blind like, Adam just acted the fuck out of that and did a baby cry and then, like, very. Looked very alarmed and covered his own mouth. It was excellent.
People need to know. I wish I could see it when.
[01:24:19] Speaker E: My hand falls from Roscoe's and he just. His lips are like this pursed together.
He's staring at the albatross.
[01:24:29] Speaker D: Yeah.
[01:24:31] Speaker A: So what do you have to be Roscoe about?
[01:24:35] Speaker D: See, that's stupid.
[01:24:36] Speaker A: Have you ever thought of the meaning of the.
[01:24:38] Speaker F: That's stupid.
[01:24:39] Speaker A: Have you ever thought of the meaning of the word Roscoe?
[01:24:45] Speaker D: I mean.
[01:24:48] Speaker F: Yeah.
[01:24:51] Speaker A: Okay.
[01:24:54] Speaker D: I'm looking it up.
[01:24:56] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:25:00] Speaker E: Wait, what does. What does it mean? Katie?
[01:25:03] Speaker D: Oh, my God. The very first, it says Roscoe, meaning. Meaning deer wood. Roscoe is a boy's name of norse origin. It is a variation of Roscoe with an e, which means deer wood. Whether you're inspired by nature or the Vikings, a name like Roscoe is an excellent choice for your son.
But I really love that.
[01:25:27] Speaker A: What if it said, I would rethink this one? The name Roscoe is not a very good choice to name your son Heathland.
[01:25:36] Speaker D: Heathland of the Roe deer. I love.
[01:25:39] Speaker E: I'm sorry.
[01:25:40] Speaker D: I love name meetings, so. I love that.
[01:25:42] Speaker B: That's lovely.
[01:25:43] Speaker D: That's beautiful. You're telling me you didn't know that? And you, like, are kind of druidy, at least? I'm sorry that I'm so ignorant that I don't know still really what you are. I will confess I feel like a completely different.
[01:25:54] Speaker A: I don't think it counts as ignorance when you don't say it.
[01:25:57] Speaker D: That's what I am. An ignor anus. Okay.
[01:26:00] Speaker A: Have you ever thought of the meaning of the word, the name anus?
[01:26:04] Speaker D: Babe, stop. I'm genuinely. I love this.
[01:26:07] Speaker E: So by this point, the. The discord server has nailed down two of Roscoe's classes as well as the levels.
[01:26:22] Speaker F: No.
[01:26:22] Speaker E: So.
[01:26:22] Speaker A: So, Roscoe, this, listeners, this is what you're missing by night. Joining us on the pork fried dice. Discord linked in every episode.
[01:26:31] Speaker B: Okay, got it.
[01:26:31] Speaker D: I'm also missing it, but I'm in the discord because I don't read that.
[01:26:35] Speaker A: That's in spoilers, I think.
[01:26:37] Speaker D: Yeah, it's got.
[01:26:37] Speaker E: It has been deduced by this point, but I buy, I think, mark Jessen, that Roscoe does have two levels of druid, but I will say that he's not.
Well, how to put it with multiclassing?
He's not currently a druid.
[01:27:00] Speaker B: Oh.
[01:27:01] Speaker A: Like, I think that's.
[01:27:02] Speaker E: That's not the way that works.
[01:27:04] Speaker D: Might have changed.
[01:27:05] Speaker A: Not really.
[01:27:05] Speaker D: Where it's like, wait, who is. You're disagreeing with each other.
[01:27:09] Speaker A: No, no. So, like, technically, when you're making a character, you have to pick which levels are which class.
[01:27:14] Speaker F: Yeah.
[01:27:15] Speaker D: Right.
[01:27:15] Speaker A: And so.
[01:27:16] Speaker E: So he is part druid.
[01:27:19] Speaker A: I mean, do you. You might. Do you want to reveal why you're saying that in terms of the levels? Like, just the general overview of. Maybe this would be a little bit of a.
I'll type it in case you don't want to say it.
[01:27:34] Speaker D: Oh, I love it. Oh, I'm sorry that I like Adam, like, for so long. I just really. I wish. I know. I love d and D for the storytelling aspect, but I'm not familiar with, like, all the.
[01:27:44] Speaker E: Honestly, me neither. Like, I. I don't know. Like, I don't see a spell done, and I'm like, oh, I know some of them.
[01:27:53] Speaker D: You. You know, like, very few. I played a druid before, so, like, I knew some of those things, but that's why.
[01:27:59] Speaker E: Yeah.
Right. This is from a. From a character creation kind of angle.
And the way. The way I kind of approached multiclassing with Roscoe is that each level.
And I think this makes intuitive sense to me, right. That the different levels from the different classes correspond pretty directly with his timeline as a character. And, like, his.
[01:28:30] Speaker D: That's great.
[01:28:31] Speaker E: His life. And so the druid levels are from.
[01:28:39] Speaker F: Earlier in his life.
[01:28:42] Speaker E: Not.
[01:28:42] Speaker A: Not like if you're all level eleven.
[01:28:46] Speaker D: Yeah.
[01:28:46] Speaker A: Level eleven for him was not a.
[01:28:49] Speaker D: Right.
[01:28:49] Speaker A: It would have been an earlier level.
[01:28:51] Speaker D: Or levels anyone has been frustrated with. The rest of us for not catching on or anything.
[01:28:58] Speaker E: I think folks on the server have been having fun, like, kind of playing detective.
So. So, yeah.
[01:29:05] Speaker D: So, meaning of the word Roscoe. Yeah.
[01:29:10] Speaker F: I'm so confused because I so desperately want to be mad at you, but I'm also so happy and. But I don't think. I don't think that's the same thing, because Roscoe is not, like an adjective. It is not an otherwise colloquially known word, whereas the word cross in the cross.
[01:29:33] Speaker E: Albatross.
[01:29:35] Speaker F: While it may be a cutesy rhyme, it is also an adjective with meaning.
[01:29:42] Speaker A: Some people do have dames with parts of speech, don't they?
[01:29:48] Speaker F: Yes.
[01:29:50] Speaker A: That aren't.
[01:29:51] Speaker F: Rufina. Phalange.
[01:29:53] Speaker A: Bart.
[01:29:55] Speaker F: Will. Pompeon.
[01:29:58] Speaker A: Well, there's one. Will. That's a noun or a verb commonly used in our shared tongue.
You lack human self. A bird.
[01:30:14] Speaker F: All right, so what you're saying you're not cross about anything?
[01:30:18] Speaker A: I don't. I mean, I can be. Can't we all?
[01:30:22] Speaker F: Yeah, I guess so. Do you have something that you wanna say to me? Are you here for a reason?
[01:30:30] Speaker A: Well, I mean, I guess. You know, it's funny you say being cross about things. I guess I could be cross about this a little bit. It seems like you all are headed a certain direction.
[01:30:40] Speaker D: Oh, shit.
[01:30:40] Speaker A: To a.
I think. I mean, you're traveling on the coast here. Over there is the upper lands of Gully's end and.
[01:30:51] Speaker D: Oh no.
[01:30:52] Speaker A: It seems like based on your current trajectory, you're heading to Gully's end, proper gully's End city, if you will. Gullies and canyon. The gully itself, the end of it. Is that accurate?
[01:31:06] Speaker F: Well, we're on a boat that. Yeah, these seem to be heading in that direction.
[01:31:17] Speaker A: Well, I just thought I might warn you, there's, there's, you know, these are kind of my.
My.
[01:31:27] Speaker D: Flying grounds. Yeah, right, stomping grounds, but flying.
[01:31:31] Speaker A: What's the term for the air?
[01:31:33] Speaker D: My atmospheric airspace. My airspace.
[01:31:38] Speaker A: My air. That's good, I like that.
The drone pilot, of course he comes up with that.
[01:31:43] Speaker D: Yeah.
[01:31:45] Speaker A: This is my general airspace that I occupy and I mean, I haven't been able to go. And he flaps a wing over towards the shore. That's on the Starbird side.
[01:32:02] Speaker E: Starbird.
[01:32:08] Speaker A: Yeah. I haven't gotten to enjoy that part of my airspace in quite some time. There's some. I don't know if you've heard. I guess you've not. That's why I'm here to warn you. There's. There's a bit of a mean, I mean, I hate to use this word, but I mean. Which flying about.
[01:32:28] Speaker F: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Half orc. Greenskin.
[01:32:34] Speaker A: Oh, you do know.
[01:32:35] Speaker F: Yeah.
[01:32:36] Speaker A: Why are you heading this way?
[01:32:39] Speaker F: Well, it's not, you know, it's not a happy reason.
[01:32:45] Speaker A: Oh no. Does that mean you can't talk about it with all the drugs that are in your brain?
[01:32:50] Speaker D: Ooh.
[01:32:54] Speaker F: I think maybe it does because I am on real happiness inducing drugs.
[01:33:08] Speaker A: And the reason, real ones, not ones that someone made up for a sentimental reason.
[01:33:17] Speaker F: I am on a real happiness inducing drug.
And the reasons for us going to galizen. But it's a real sad reason and so I must not be able to talk about it. Unless somehow, via the processes of healing and general catharsis, I was able to somehow transmogrify the sadness into something happy.
Uh, do you want me to do that?
[01:34:02] Speaker A: Yeah, sure, go ahead.
[01:34:05] Speaker F: Well, a friend. A friend. Pathwhack.
Yeah, he died, which is a sad thing. But I'm weirdly happy about it because it's the cycle of life.
[01:34:31] Speaker B: Does he have to rule deception?
[01:34:35] Speaker A: I don't know. I feel like he's lying to himself.
[01:34:38] Speaker B: Yes, that's true, but.
[01:34:41] Speaker F: So bathwalk, you know, he's originally from Gully's end, and there are certain funereal rites and rituals that we are obliged to carry out in his honor memory.
Which, I should add, I am more than happy to do.
Are you still here?
[01:35:14] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm here. I wanted to see how long you'd laugh like that.
[01:35:17] Speaker E: Yeah, it's all good.
[01:35:19] Speaker F: It's fine.
[01:35:21] Speaker A: So you're not worried about her killing any of you or anything like that? No. I guess this is a better question. Do you feel like any of you pose a threat to her search? Her desire, her reach, her grasp for power?
[01:35:47] Speaker F: Well, I don't know. The way we figured it is that she only really felt threatened by bathwax. So as long as we faced his death, we'd be okay.
[01:36:02] Speaker A: You could still be happy he's up on deck. I know. I saw him.
[01:36:06] Speaker D: Oh, shit.
[01:36:07] Speaker F: Oh, good.
Oh, good. Okay. So you already knew.
[01:36:12] Speaker A: Yeah, it's fine.
[01:36:13] Speaker F: By virtue of your ostensible godlike status.
[01:36:18] Speaker A: My confirmed godlike status? Yes, that's correct.
[01:36:22] Speaker C: Yeah.
[01:36:22] Speaker F: Confined by how annoying you are.
[01:36:27] Speaker A: You want me to be cross with you?
[01:36:29] Speaker F: Huh? What?
[01:36:31] Speaker A: Do you want me to be cross with you?
[01:36:34] Speaker F: Uh, I guess probably not.
[01:36:39] Speaker A: Yeah. I'm here to help you.
[01:36:41] Speaker F: Okay.
That'd be great. Ian was great. He was a huge help. The coyote, not so much. So if you're more like Ian than the fogging coyote, I would welcome that.
[01:36:54] Speaker A: I mean, I think that's probably up to you. I'm. I'm who I am. And your experiences with each of them, I'm sure inform your image of them, and thus your experience here with me will be ultimately the only thing you could use to compare the three.
[01:37:13] Speaker F: Are you saying that gods are created in our image?
No.
[01:37:23] Speaker A: Oh, yeah.
No, I'm just saying that no person is inherently themselves in and of themselves. It's all about each person is a different person to each other person based on each of those individual person's separate experiences, as well as their joined and shared experiences. Experiences.
[01:37:51] Speaker F: Yeah, you lost me. I'm gonna go have a drink on the deck.
[01:37:55] Speaker B: A sniffle comes from under the bed. Just kidding.
[01:38:00] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
[01:38:02] Speaker D: It's so scary, Rafina.
[01:38:03] Speaker E: I like that.
[01:38:04] Speaker A: That should be.
[01:38:05] Speaker E: That should be canon. But Eric has to figure out who's. Who's.
[01:38:10] Speaker A: Wait a second.
[01:38:11] Speaker D: Yeah, my God, no.
[01:38:14] Speaker A: No, I just wanted to be Rafina in both places.
[01:38:17] Speaker E: Is that possible?
[01:38:18] Speaker D: She stuck her head in a pocket to at some point, and that's where her head came out and then just popped back.
[01:38:25] Speaker A: Unfortunately, I don't think I can.
[01:38:27] Speaker B: Unless you. Unless you warp the time in the future.
[01:38:30] Speaker D: A time in the future? It'll come back.
[01:38:32] Speaker A: Listen.
[01:38:33] Speaker D: When.
Shut up.
[01:38:39] Speaker A: You do hear a sniffle under the bed.
[01:38:41] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[01:38:42] Speaker A: We're going to cut back to the rowboat, okay? No, sorry. The lifeboat.
[01:38:47] Speaker D: Lifeboat. Okay.
[01:38:52] Speaker F: Well.
[01:38:53] Speaker B: I'm so sad.
[01:38:55] Speaker D: Wait.
Yeah, wait. She just says that from under the bed. Under the bed. It's not the bed anymore.
[01:39:01] Speaker B: It's a bed boat.
[01:39:02] Speaker E: Under the bed.
[01:39:03] Speaker A: Well, I mean, if you and Bathwick are fucking in it, I think it counts.
[01:39:07] Speaker D: No, it's a boat. It's kinky as fuck. No, stop it. Stop it.
[01:39:12] Speaker A: Watching too much. Our flag means death.
[01:39:14] Speaker D: I know.
I know. What she just say? She said, I'm so sad.
[01:39:19] Speaker B: I'm so sad.
[01:39:20] Speaker D: Will pretends he doesn't hear it. He doesn't say.
[01:39:23] Speaker A: Let's remind the listeners what Rafine is responding to.
[01:39:26] Speaker D: I don't remember. What I said was the.
[01:39:28] Speaker E: Neither.
[01:39:29] Speaker A: Neither do I.
[01:39:29] Speaker B: Not.
[01:39:30] Speaker E: It was the.
[01:39:31] Speaker A: Which timeline. Okay.
[01:39:35] Speaker D: Yeah, which.
[01:39:36] Speaker A: Thank you. Yeah, that was actually for me, not the listeners.
[01:39:40] Speaker B: Rafina leans out from under the boat and grabs his slacks.
[01:39:51] Speaker A: His tapper down trousers.
[01:39:52] Speaker B: Tapper down trousers?
[01:39:54] Speaker D: From Tivoli, you motherfucker.
[01:39:56] Speaker A: Yeah, but you got the guy from Tapper down.
[01:39:58] Speaker D: These ones aren't also. What suit am I wearing? It's probably from fucking Bill. Suit. Suit is, like. Apparently not even a real. Doesn't even sell real suit suits from.
[01:40:11] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, the cummerbund.
[01:40:16] Speaker B: Will and will just. What is. What is. What is this bathwack? I mean. Oh, you don't look like you. Oh, you guys, it's so hard.
[01:40:25] Speaker D: I heard everything.
[01:40:32] Speaker B: Will?
Will.
[01:40:36] Speaker F: Who's Will?
[01:40:37] Speaker D: Can I see you? I'm not. I'm looking. I pulled.
[01:40:40] Speaker B: Well, you can see at least my hand because you can't move. I mean, if you look down at your ankle, you can see my hand.
[01:40:48] Speaker C: Well, will, we. What?
[01:40:52] Speaker A: That was almost homestar, by the way.
Sorry, guys.
[01:41:04] Speaker B: Oh, Rafina is still just vaguely compromised by the beverage and also, like, overcome. So it's really hard for her to be articulate at this moment. But she's really trying to reign it all in.
But I saw that letter hit the ground.
It fell out of your pocket. I think that the lining is too satin. It must have just slipped.
[01:41:41] Speaker D: But wait, did she really see the letter?
[01:41:44] Speaker A: No, I didn't see it fall because.
[01:41:46] Speaker D: It hit the ground.
[01:41:47] Speaker B: Oh, it hit.
[01:41:48] Speaker A: No, it hit.
[01:41:49] Speaker E: No. Right into Bethlehem.
[01:41:52] Speaker B: Oh, I missed that. I'm sorry. I'm lying.
[01:41:55] Speaker A: Okay. Sorry. It's okay. But you don't worry, Abby. This is not actually reality, so, like, it's confusing. But Rafina did. I'm sorry. I just. You're not. Like. You're hearing it all. But Rafina. Rafina is not aware of the letter.
[01:42:12] Speaker B: Because I didn't hear it get read aloud.
[01:42:15] Speaker A: Correct. It wasn't read aloud.
[01:42:16] Speaker B: Yeah. If I didn't see it hit the ground, I didn't see it. I don't know anything about it.
[01:42:19] Speaker C: You just heard the words that understood. Understood the few words.
[01:42:24] Speaker B: I was really picturing it falling on the ground and me seeing it get picked up, so that was my brain. Sorry.
[01:42:29] Speaker A: Just so. I mean, I'm pretty sure you actually.
[01:42:31] Speaker C: You would have heard Beth Pack say, you know, mister experience.
[01:42:34] Speaker D: Exactly.
[01:42:34] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:42:35] Speaker C: Yeah.
[01:42:36] Speaker A: Sometimes I wish that I could see, like, especially. Like, especially all of you, but then the listeners, too, but especially you guys. Like, I wish I could just see a vision of what each of you pictures.
[01:42:47] Speaker D: What cinematics in any brain. Yeah, I.
[01:42:50] Speaker A: It's just, like. Because I'm sure it'd be wildly different, and I love it.
[01:42:54] Speaker D: Yeah.
[01:42:55] Speaker A: Anyway, sorry.
[01:42:57] Speaker B: Um.
I don't really know what's going on here, but I can tell there's a lot of fear. There's a lot of fear. There's a lot of.
I don't know, regret.
[01:43:08] Speaker C: It's, uh. It's not beer. It's Gully's end green.
[01:43:14] Speaker B: Yes, but in vino veritas.
[01:43:20] Speaker A: Inverte. Veritas.
[01:43:22] Speaker D: Inver.
[01:43:23] Speaker C: Ooh.
[01:43:24] Speaker B: Very nice, dia. Thank you.
So, can you tell me who Eldon is?
Will?
[01:43:38] Speaker C: You keep saying Will.
[01:43:41] Speaker B: Shut up.
[01:43:41] Speaker D: Path rock.
[01:43:42] Speaker C: Who's.
[01:43:45] Speaker B: No one's around.
[01:43:47] Speaker D: He has his face over. He has hands over his face because he's like.
[01:43:50] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:43:50] Speaker D: He realizes that it's not the right name to say, but he's not correcting.
[01:43:55] Speaker C: Her at all, so. Yeah, but.
[01:43:58] Speaker B: But, like, really slowly.
[01:44:00] Speaker C: What's the closest rowboat? And you gradually see the snout recede until it's no longer in your line of sight.
[01:44:11] Speaker E: So you.
[01:44:11] Speaker B: You're getting back in?
[01:44:13] Speaker C: Yep. Um, I wasn't out, but I was sitting up because you're talking, and then I just slowly sink back into the.
[01:44:21] Speaker B: My vision got totally screwed up of all this. I love it.
[01:44:24] Speaker A: And both Will and Bathwick, aka Valencio and Keck, are just staring up yeah, at the sky.
[01:44:30] Speaker D: Is the pretending guy saying anything? Is anything happening to the other people that were around us? Like, are they talking or they see.
[01:44:37] Speaker A: Me are talking to each other over on the other side of the boat?
[01:44:40] Speaker B: I'm not holding onto your pants sleeve. If you're. Grab your feet.
[01:44:44] Speaker A: If anybody's looking, Mo is, like, hanging off at the front of the ship.
He's fine, don't worry.
[01:44:51] Speaker B: And it's Mo.
[01:44:54] Speaker A: It's by choice.
[01:44:56] Speaker D: I think Will would just say, like, it doesn't.
It doesn't matter, because whatever we're doing, we're doing for bath whack. Okay? It doesn't really matter. Nothing else is going to change.
[01:45:18] Speaker B: Every minute it changes.
Rufina puts her feet up onto the bottom of the rowboat and starts to rock it.
[01:45:33] Speaker E: Aw.
[01:45:40] Speaker D: That'S so comforting to Will, I think.
[01:45:42] Speaker A: Yeah, Will has mommy issues.
[01:45:47] Speaker D: Fuck.
[01:45:51] Speaker B: What will we do when we are done at Gully's end?
Kick.
Will. What will we do when we're done?
Do we need to go to a place for you?
You've been wanting to go home for a long time.
[01:46:14] Speaker D: Sure.
And for the first time ever, Will doesn't sound excited about going home to Tivoli.
[01:46:27] Speaker B: Rufina gives a little kick. Will, I wish you would just be authentic with your feelings once in a while.
[01:46:37] Speaker D: Who are you talking to? This is Valencio.
[01:46:43] Speaker B: She gives the boat a really hard swing.
[01:46:46] Speaker F: There is no will. There's only Valencia.
[01:46:52] Speaker B: I know that. Even I know that.
Okay, well, I guess I'll just keep rolling on the deck then.
[01:47:05] Speaker D: Why don't you like the captain?
[01:47:08] Speaker B: I do not like the captain. I like seafaring folk.
[01:47:13] Speaker D: Rafina, why don't you like the captain? He's a dumb pile of shit. He's a cutie. What the fuck, Rafina, go and see him or something.
Leave us alone.
[01:47:28] Speaker B: Yeah, you need to be alone with. With Batwack, huh?
[01:47:33] Speaker D: No, I need to be a really alone. Why? Don't ever just fucking like will. Just puts his arm over his face like.
[01:47:40] Speaker B: I will tell you a secret about me.
I was once in love with a pirate, but I was never closer than 100ft to him.
He was always in a different boat.
And I could tell we were in love, but I could never recognize him if I bumped into him on the street. Because I only knew him when he was on that particular boat.
It could have been batlac. I have no idea.
[01:48:25] Speaker E: I don't even remember if that story is gonna. Is it gonna be in the podcast?
[01:48:30] Speaker B: It doesn't matter.
[01:48:31] Speaker D: At this point. Oh, my God.
[01:48:33] Speaker A: If not, it's just for us.
[01:48:36] Speaker E: I love it.
[01:48:38] Speaker B: And that keeps me going because that was a special relationship, and I know exactly how it ends, and I can just hold it that way.
[01:48:51] Speaker C: He fell off the boat, right?
[01:48:56] Speaker B: One day, our boats just no longer passed like boats in the night.
[01:49:02] Speaker C: And then you passed his ship the next day, and it was on fire.
[01:49:07] Speaker B: I'm not sure if this is Alix being snarky or why I think it is.
[01:49:16] Speaker C: You saw him walking the plank.
[01:49:21] Speaker A: Listeners don't know. And you might have to cut this. Alex is the jealous type.
[01:49:31] Speaker D: Not in a toxic way, just in.
[01:49:32] Speaker B: A cute way, really exasperating way, but.
[01:49:38] Speaker D: In a nerdy fucking way. All right. He's not like a scary man. He's like.
[01:49:43] Speaker B: No, he's not.
[01:49:43] Speaker D: I love Abby. Guys, stop it. That's how he is.
[01:49:47] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:49:48] Speaker D: Stop it. That's Alex.
She knows how it ends. She says she knows how it ends.
[01:49:55] Speaker B: I know how it ends.
I'm not sure I'm ready to have a relationship with someone that I have to be in the same space with.
What if we. What if it doesn't work?
[01:50:12] Speaker D: What if it works and it ends for stupid reasons?
[01:50:23] Speaker B: Then what? Maybe you can tell me.
[01:50:27] Speaker D: I can't tell you why you're whispering.
Because I don't want to talk about it.
[01:50:34] Speaker B: Okay. That was the most you for real to me ever in your whole life. Thank you, Will.
Let go of my foot.
I'm, like, holding on to it. Or over.
[01:50:48] Speaker D: Exactly. Exactly.
Crawling up in there.
[01:50:52] Speaker A: Her whole weight is being held by.
[01:50:53] Speaker D: I launch her into the air. Wee.
[01:50:57] Speaker B: I go over the end, the side of the boat.
[01:50:59] Speaker D: She lands in the crow's nest. There's no crow's nest in the water.
[01:51:03] Speaker A: She's gone. As we all know, if you jump off of a cruise ship, you're dead.
[01:51:08] Speaker B: By the time we stop the boat.
[01:51:10] Speaker C: It's terrible, but it's fine. If you're in port, you can jump up a cruise ship.
[01:51:16] Speaker A: That's true.
[01:51:16] Speaker C: But I think it really hurts.
[01:51:18] Speaker B: Yeah. And that would not feel good.
Rafina resumes rocking the boat gently, and soon you hear snoring.
It's Rafina.
[01:51:36] Speaker E: Wow.
[01:51:39] Speaker F: Wow.
[01:51:41] Speaker C: Meanwhile, the sun is blazing up on the top deck.
[01:51:46] Speaker D: We're still all picturing night. I know I am.
[01:51:48] Speaker C: I'm picturing shuffleboard. The games are.
[01:51:52] Speaker A: Have you ever been out in the sun on a boat, especially having drank too much alcohol? And you're heartbroken.
[01:52:00] Speaker B: Okay?
[01:52:00] Speaker A: And you're heartbroken.
[01:52:01] Speaker D: You're heartbroken. It feels like the fucking midnight. It's 01:30 a.m. and you're under a rowboat.
[01:52:08] Speaker B: There's a big shadow over you.
[01:52:10] Speaker A: Oh, you're good. No, Rafina, you're good.
[01:52:11] Speaker D: Yeah, Rafina makes sense. Sense makes.
[01:52:13] Speaker A: You're fine. No, I'm. These guys are lobsters is what I'm saying.
[01:52:16] Speaker D: Yeah, I'm fried.
[01:52:18] Speaker A: Both of you are disguised, but he's not moving.
[01:52:21] Speaker D: A will will not move. He's just. Yeah, he's just getting rocked.
[01:52:27] Speaker A: Roscoe, what did we. What was the last thing we said?
[01:52:31] Speaker E: You said there was a sniffle.
[01:52:33] Speaker D: Oh, yeah.
[01:52:33] Speaker A: What was before that? I remember the sniffle.
[01:52:36] Speaker E: Roscoe.
And Roscoe said, sounds right. You lost me.
[01:52:47] Speaker A: I'm going up to upper deck. Okay.
[01:52:51] Speaker E: And then there was a sniffle from the. Under the bed.
[01:52:54] Speaker A: Okay.
[01:52:55] Speaker E: All right, so Roscoe's looking into the bed. We gotta resolve that shit, Eric.
[01:53:03] Speaker A: Okay, sure, sure.
[01:53:05] Speaker B: Shit.
[01:53:05] Speaker A: Yeah. What are you looking for? Um, you look under the bed, and there's nothing there.
[01:53:17] Speaker F: It's bullshit.
[01:53:21] Speaker A: You know what's really bullshit?
[01:53:23] Speaker F: What?
[01:53:24] Speaker A: I'll explain this in probably, like, ten years.
[01:53:30] Speaker E: It is some weird time travel shit. Oh, my God, I love it. I'm gonna forget all about.
[01:53:37] Speaker A: Yeah, me too.
[01:53:39] Speaker D: Yeah.
[01:53:39] Speaker A: But listeners will remember this, and it'll make sense.
Even though I might not be able to specifically refer to this moment.
It'll make sense. There's so many moments like this, you guys. You have no idea. Anyway.
[01:53:51] Speaker E: Oh, wow.
[01:53:54] Speaker D: What?
[01:53:54] Speaker A: That. I won't. I even won't specifically remember. But the wiki exists. Our listeners know this kind of shit.
And if.
[01:54:04] Speaker D: Baby. Guys, we all have to be alive. All eat a lot of salads, take.
[01:54:09] Speaker E: A lot of walks, and don't. Don't kill yourself.
[01:54:13] Speaker D: A cruise shot ship off a cruise ship, either.
[01:54:17] Speaker A: On the discord, listeners, we have a spoiler channel, so if you're worried about spoilers yourselves, you can avoid it. It's also there for my players, so that way the listeners can talk to each other about things that maybe not all of these people know about.
[01:54:31] Speaker E: Wait, was that the end of the episode? Like, we'll have to find out in ten years on portfront?
[01:54:36] Speaker A: Well, I didn't say that yet. It can be 1120.
No, you were gonna. I was gonna give you a little more time. So you were. You had said you were gonna go up to the deck to get a drink, but then there was a sniffle, and you looked on his bed, and there's nothing there.
[01:54:49] Speaker D: Okay.
[01:54:50] Speaker F: I thought I heard something down there. Down from under the bed. But, uh, I don't know. Maybe it came from some distant thing inside me.
[01:55:02] Speaker A: I mean, I heard it, too.
[01:55:04] Speaker F: Oh, you did?
[01:55:05] Speaker D: Uh huh.
[01:55:06] Speaker A: Like a sniffle.
[01:55:10] Speaker F: And do you know who it was?
[01:55:12] Speaker A: No, I just heard the noise. Is there anything under there?
[01:55:15] Speaker F: I didn't see anything. Will you look? Sure.
[01:55:19] Speaker E: While she's looking, Roscoe sneaks out the door.
[01:55:22] Speaker A: Okay. She waddles over, sticks her head under the bed, comes back up. Roscoe's gone. Hey, where'd you go?
And waddles out the door. Are you, like, trying to get away from her?
[01:55:38] Speaker F: Yeah.
[01:55:39] Speaker A: Roscoe, are you running away?
[01:55:40] Speaker E: Roscoe is, like, running and, like, giggling. Like. Like, running away from, like, a pretty prank that he pulled.
[01:55:46] Speaker D: I love it.
[01:55:47] Speaker A: All right.
[01:55:48] Speaker E: He's all sweaty and giggling.
[01:55:50] Speaker A: I love that image so much that we're all going to remember this. Sometimes I have trouble remembering the very last moment of an episode. We're going to remember this because that's the image. Sweaty, giggly Roscoe running down the hall, his coat flapping behind him, holding his hat to his head.
[01:56:07] Speaker E: Yes.
[01:56:08] Speaker A: And we're going to find out what happens with this giggling running. Next time on pork fried dice.
[01:56:14] Speaker D: Wow. What a roller coaster.
[01:56:16] Speaker C: Oof.
[01:56:17] Speaker D: Wow.
[01:56:20] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm tired. I barely said anything, too.
[01:56:23] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[01:56:26] Speaker F: Well, wow.
[01:56:27] Speaker E: A session of D and D. My butt hurts.
[01:56:32] Speaker D: Yeah.
[01:56:33] Speaker B: From sitting.
[01:56:36] Speaker D: From farting. All those farts that I edited out.
It took me 17 hours, like, a.
[01:56:48] Speaker A: Bunch of retakes on a different line.
Listen to Abby pretending like she didn't fart through this whole episode.
[01:57:02] Speaker D: The rocking of the boat came.
[01:57:04] Speaker A: Six hour recording session, 6 hours.
[01:57:07] Speaker B: It's really smelly now.
[01:57:13] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
Well, wow. That was something that happened. There was so many things.
[01:57:22] Speaker E: Oh, goodness.
[01:57:24] Speaker D: Mmm hmm.
[01:57:28] Speaker E: What's going on with this baby in Roscoe? You think he's embarrassed?
Roscoe's embarrassado.
[01:57:43] Speaker D: Hey, everyone, if you like what you hear, please consider leaving us a kind review wherever that sort of thing happens. Also, support us by sending us a tip on ko fi. You can find all of our social media
[email protected]. thank you for listening, and we'll see you next time.
