354: I Have Bad Dreams and My Pee Smells Funny

354: I Have Bad Dreams and My Pee Smells Funny
Pork Fried Dice - A Dungeons & Dragons Podcast
354: I Have Bad Dreams and My Pee Smells Funny

Jun 03 2024 | 01:03:56

Episode 190 June 03, 2024 01:03:56

Show Notes

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Alternate Titles

I Mustard up the Will to Keep On Going

A Magic Fishing Line

There's Fish and Mustard Everywhere Already

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Episode Transcript

[00:00:01] Speaker A: You're listening to the show about all kinds of feasts. Birthday feasts, mourners feasts, lizard folk lair feasts and heroes feasts. It's pork fried dice. I'm Eric and I'm the dungeon master. [00:00:20] Speaker B: I'm Abby and I play Rufina. [00:00:23] Speaker C: I'm Alex and I play batplex. [00:00:26] Speaker D: I'm KT and I play will. [00:00:29] Speaker E: I'm Adam and I play Roscoe. [00:00:35] Speaker A: Hold on to your haversacks. Let's roll. [00:00:41] Speaker C: On Friday, we got some really yummy pizza that was baked at a street festival. [00:00:46] Speaker D: That was fun. Oh. [00:00:48] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Rub it in. I didn't get any really yummy pizza. [00:00:50] Speaker C: Well, you could have gone. [00:00:52] Speaker B: I didn't want to go. I hate those things. [00:00:56] Speaker D: Was it pizza in a cup? That's always my reference, the jerk. How do you look at me and you don't know? Pizza in a cup? [00:01:03] Speaker A: I haven't watched the jerk in pizza in a cup 15 years. [00:01:06] Speaker D: This is the best pizza in the cup. Guys, the watch. It's so funny. It's so good. [00:01:13] Speaker B: Steve Martin. [00:01:15] Speaker A: Our flag means death. And watch the church. [00:01:16] Speaker D: No, don't abandon. Our flag means death. It's probably way. Yeah, no. [00:01:21] Speaker B: I wish I could do voices, guys, because then I would want Rafina to do Nandor's voice, because I love not from our flag means death, obviously. But we've just finished all of what we do in the shadows. I love the way Nandor speaks. Not just his accent, but the pacing of the words is so amazing. [00:01:41] Speaker C: Guillermo. [00:01:46] Speaker B: You can't do it. [00:01:46] Speaker C: I can't do it either. [00:01:47] Speaker B: There was a little bird in my room. [00:01:52] Speaker D: Is that from the latest one? How far behind are we? I don't remember. We watched a bunch, but then we. [00:01:56] Speaker B: The latest season is awesome. [00:01:58] Speaker D: Oh, I bet it is. [00:02:00] Speaker C: It's so good. [00:02:00] Speaker A: Colin Robinson was a baby for a while. I think he's not a baby anymore. [00:02:04] Speaker C: At least where we are, he was growing up. [00:02:06] Speaker A: Yeah, he was a little kid. I don't know. Whatever. This isn't a our flag means shadows podcast. That was the moment. [00:02:19] Speaker D: You poor thing. Eric's like, this is why I've been scared all day long. I don't know what to do. It's okay. It's okay. [00:02:26] Speaker B: You don't have to do anything. We're just gonna play, and you're gonna. [00:02:28] Speaker D: Just look at this energy that I have. [00:02:32] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:02:34] Speaker D: Shit. [00:02:34] Speaker A: I'm more freaked out. [00:02:38] Speaker D: It was a lot of energy. [00:02:39] Speaker A: Did you want to send lyrics or not? [00:02:42] Speaker D: Shoot. I should. It's a fast one. And also you guys probably don't even know this song. It's probably just, like, from being a parent and having kids who specifically like this one. Um, it's a kids show. Um. Here you go. WHOOP. Sent it. Just says lyrics. Oh, meeting with a superintendent. I shouldn't have opened this. No, get out of here. Oh, no. I don't want to see things. [00:03:11] Speaker A: I'm still waiting. Oh, there it is. [00:03:13] Speaker D: Sent it to you. [00:03:14] Speaker A: Okay. All right, I'm gonna put it in the chat of this. [00:03:19] Speaker D: Does anyone rem. Did you guys. Did your kids ever like the captain underpants movie or books? Yeah, actually, it's not the show. Yeah, it's the movie. [00:03:27] Speaker A: It's the movie. [00:03:27] Speaker D: Yeah. Did you guys like the. Okay, this is the captain underpants theme song because. [00:03:32] Speaker B: Oh, fun. Okay. [00:03:33] Speaker A: Written by Weird Al Yankovic and performed, I guess. Yes. Okay, ready? [00:03:39] Speaker D: We got weird Al to perform my recap. [00:03:40] Speaker B: It's pretty great. [00:03:41] Speaker A: Yeah, it's pretty good. [00:03:42] Speaker B: Yay. [00:03:43] Speaker A: Play. [00:03:47] Speaker D: Are you feeling super duper forlorn? Are you tired saying Zorn? Well, don't you fear there's an older man nearby, nearby, nearby he's got a really complicated name and he's got the cruise ship we need. And luckily, we have just what he wants. Here is mighty lustful cry Ruffina happy pants she's throwing out smiles that's happy pants Ruffina's got her wild ruffina na na na he's in love with her, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's more wily than the captivating coyote happy pants two gullies and that capsy pants. While she casts on a friend grafina na na na she'll break your hearty yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Watch out for those pictures. She calls him capsy, capsy captive pants he's lookin for that sweet halfling romance oh, yeah. He seems like he's entranced. Oh, that Capsi pants heart's aflame. She's all unzorny, not horny. Roscoe's really selling all this shit. He knows we have to get the bones to the ship. So Zorn, he says, and he starts to sing a mournful, soulful ballad. And when we're offered a hero's feast and or a mourner's feast, Roscoe focuses on whether we get one or two feasts. And that's super valid. Kick or cake. Oh, and who's that bitch? Is it kick or cat? Don't think he's ever caught a fish. Ashton gives his name, Gully sends his name and he's coming too. He hopes the bones will make it. There's Valencio. He's in disbelief. Clutches the bone and asserts his own grief. Wow. Wow. Well, he's gummy grape man, ain't there. He has not a single tooth. Oh. Capsy cafty cappy pants. No need to pay him in advance. Oh. Do you think perchance there'll be a cruise romance? Who can say that black won't be the only one who's all bones? Oh, the game plank went up with such ease. I hope we don't contract legionnaires disease. Oh, but can you comprehend the town of Gully's ends almost near? Oh. And kick means disembowel. That's amazing. [00:05:58] Speaker B: Genius. [00:06:00] Speaker D: I just. It was as soon as I saw. I did not know what to write at first. And then I remember that you said capti pants so many times, and I was like, oh, captain underpants. Captipants. Perfect. Done. [00:06:12] Speaker B: That's clearly why I was compelled to say it, so that you could be inspired. [00:06:16] Speaker D: Good. Otherwise, we just walked through the town for a while. That was mostly what happened. And we talked about feasts, and that was what happened. [00:06:27] Speaker A: That was what happened. [00:06:29] Speaker D: I'm so good. [00:06:30] Speaker B: You're so good at this, KT. [00:06:32] Speaker A: I don't know. But we do know. [00:06:36] Speaker B: We do know. [00:06:38] Speaker A: Asking ass Cheng. [00:06:40] Speaker D: I just had to keep the ass Cheng version because. Yeah, sorry, the lyrics weren't. They were my working lyrics. I was like, I forgot to delete the things that were. Or put things in the right place, but. [00:06:51] Speaker A: So sorry, everything was okay. [00:06:53] Speaker D: That's okay. [00:06:54] Speaker A: Most things were in order. [00:06:56] Speaker D: Most things just. Yeah. [00:06:58] Speaker A: Yep. [00:06:58] Speaker D: Not all of them. [00:07:00] Speaker A: So you all have found yourselves trapped in the bowels of the ship. The gangplank slammed shut behind you with an ominous clank. With an ominous gang. Clank. [00:07:19] Speaker E: Gangplank. [00:07:20] Speaker A: Does. [00:07:20] Speaker E: Isn't the gangplank the. [00:07:23] Speaker A: But this walk out, this one's like a picture, like a alien spaceship where the. It's hinged, it's articulated, serves as the ramp. [00:07:35] Speaker D: So is that. Is that actually. What did I just, like, use the wrong word? [00:07:39] Speaker A: No, no, no, that's. I wasn't referring to your song. [00:07:42] Speaker D: Okay. [00:07:43] Speaker A: What did you say? [00:07:44] Speaker D: I said. I said I thought the gangplank went up with. With such ease. [00:07:48] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:48] Speaker D: I hope we don't control Legionnaire's disease. So I worry that I just set you on the wrong track. [00:07:54] Speaker A: I mean, it could have been like. [00:07:57] Speaker D: Okay, I didn't know. I just. Wow. Good. [00:08:01] Speaker A: Wow. [00:08:02] Speaker D: I know so many things about ships. Can't you tell. [00:08:05] Speaker A: Name another thing. [00:08:06] Speaker D: Wood. [00:08:07] Speaker A: Yep, you got it. Go for wood. Specifically, steering, airbags. [00:08:17] Speaker B: Deck. [00:08:18] Speaker D: Boop. Deck. Yeah. [00:08:20] Speaker A: Yep. You got it. [00:08:24] Speaker D: Barnacle. Yes. [00:08:27] Speaker A: Okay, we did it. [00:08:28] Speaker B: Badminton. [00:08:30] Speaker D: These are all the components to the ship. Now that we know what's happening, we can fully be immersed. [00:08:39] Speaker A: So captipants is there with you and. Sorry, I just need to make my brain work. [00:08:47] Speaker D: It's okay. You want to put your foot down? Because this is kind of weird. He has his foot across my whole life. [00:08:52] Speaker A: I kind of liked it, but that's fine. [00:08:54] Speaker D: Stinky foot in my face. [00:08:55] Speaker A: Was it stinky? Did you smell it? Be honest. [00:08:59] Speaker D: No, I didn't smell it, but I don't really want. [00:09:01] Speaker A: You don't want to smell it? [00:09:02] Speaker D: My mouth. [00:09:02] Speaker B: You should have lied. [00:09:03] Speaker D: Thank you. [00:09:04] Speaker A: No, I told them to be honest. [00:09:08] Speaker D: I almost passed out. It was very stinky. [00:09:14] Speaker B: Rafina says, how long will this trip take? [00:09:17] Speaker A: It should be a few days to Gully's end proper want to get you all settled in. But I also have to tend to the needs of the ship here as we begin our voyage. I don't see. What's his name? He doesn't say, what's his name? I said, what's his name? I don't see Phileas anywhere. I mean, I know he was around here. He. I'm sorry he wasn't able to find. He looks to you. Roscoe, you had asked him to find your friend who was in town with, I think, a young. A young lad. [00:09:52] Speaker E: The guy with the kid? [00:09:54] Speaker A: Yeah. He wasn't able to scrounge him up. I'm sorry. [00:09:58] Speaker E: Hey, look, I gotta tell you, so much has happened since I presumably asked you to do that that. I don't remember that in the slightest. Although it was probably gonna be a really funny bit if it had come to fruition. [00:10:11] Speaker A: Oh, per. Perhaps. I'm sorry to have deprived us all of some humor, but hopefully we'll have some. Plenty of entertainment on this. On this voyage. I also need to see to your first of two feasts, I guess. [00:10:28] Speaker D: Like sobbing into the bones, like in. [00:10:31] Speaker A: The corner about to ask whether you wanted your heroes or mourners feast first. But maybe that's my answer. Gesturing to Valencio. Right. Okay. [00:10:46] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:10:47] Speaker B: So are all the medals. Are all the meals included? [00:10:51] Speaker D: That's what meals are called on ships. Thank you, Abby. [00:10:54] Speaker A: I needle ship terms. [00:10:56] Speaker B: We're gonna get awarded medals at the meadle because it's a hero's feast. [00:11:01] Speaker A: Oh, like at the end of a new hope. [00:11:03] Speaker D: Yeah, we better be getting. I hope you have that written down in there somewhere? [00:11:07] Speaker A: Mister, are you talking to me or him? [00:11:09] Speaker D: Yeah, no, it's just Valencia. He's like, yeah, I want to get a medal. No, no, it's not him. [00:11:14] Speaker B: Are they all inclusive, or do we pay for them separately? [00:11:17] Speaker A: Oh, Rufina, they're included, of course. [00:11:21] Speaker E: Give him. Give him a voucher for a hero's feast. [00:11:27] Speaker B: I rustle in my pockets. Oh, shoot. I think they're in my terrarium. [00:11:31] Speaker A: I mean, the. The vouchers are for. Were for in the town. I don't know that they're. They're legal tender anywhere. But everything on this ship, there's. You're not going to be paying for anything on this ship. Don't be silly. [00:11:41] Speaker B: Oh, that's lovely. Thank you, captain. [00:11:45] Speaker A: Now, I also will say they're in between when we last spoke. And now, we did take on a few other passengers who I'm sure you'll probably meet at some point, but there's still plenty of room for all of you. No worries. I've got seven available rooms that you can divvy up as you see fit. Each room is fitted with its own single bed, so I don't know if you'll want to share, but based on my count, I don't think you'll need to share, says cafty pants. [00:12:28] Speaker D: Is he figuring Rafina's staying in his bed? Watch how he counts. [00:12:32] Speaker B: A king size bed. [00:12:35] Speaker D: Her room is way better than ours, isn't it? He's lying. He's like, we've got seven. We got six shitty rooms and one amazing room. And that's for Rufina. [00:12:43] Speaker C: She'd be, like, covered with rose petals. [00:12:45] Speaker D: Yeah. Leading to his one thing. [00:12:48] Speaker B: One thing she's allergic to. [00:12:50] Speaker D: Oh, no. [00:12:51] Speaker B: She's gonna break out in rash. It's gonna be great. [00:12:56] Speaker A: He'll have to tend to salves. [00:12:58] Speaker D: So. [00:12:59] Speaker B: There are no salves. [00:13:01] Speaker A: Well, I mean, the crew has some bunk beds. [00:13:06] Speaker D: I'm just surprised. [00:13:06] Speaker B: We're used to having to share rooms, so it's a little weird if we each have our own room. [00:13:12] Speaker A: Well, I mean, I probably could arrange to have a bed pulled from one room into another if you feel more comfortable that way. [00:13:20] Speaker D: We need to have room for King Bathwick. He needs to go on a platform, a bed of his own, something. [00:13:29] Speaker A: He can't just go on the floor. No, of course not. [00:13:32] Speaker D: I need the nicest room, is what I'm saying. I need the biggest one. [00:13:37] Speaker A: Well, all the rooms that are available are the same size. [00:13:41] Speaker D: There are no ones with alcoves or niches for royal bones. [00:13:46] Speaker A: There's a few crannies. [00:13:49] Speaker D: I would like one with a cranny, please. [00:13:54] Speaker B: Wait, who's will right now against the valley? [00:13:57] Speaker D: The valet. [00:13:58] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:13:59] Speaker E: Oh, man. [00:14:00] Speaker A: And Shimi. Shimi. And mo is Moe. And Bathwack is kick. And Roscoe's. Roscoe. And Rufina's. Rufina. [00:14:09] Speaker B: Not confusing at all. Okay, good. [00:14:10] Speaker D: Got it. [00:14:11] Speaker A: And that's six ostensible people who need beds. Right? Does clockface need a bed? It remains to be seen. [00:14:19] Speaker C: I guess clockface left to hang out with Shimi because I don't know who that is. Yeah, I don't know who that is. [00:14:32] Speaker D: So hot. No, I guess that's actually perfect. [00:14:35] Speaker A: Seven. [00:14:36] Speaker D: I'm sorry, did you start Craig or whatever? I'm sorry if I missed here. Yeah, I'm sorry. Okay. Sorry. [00:14:41] Speaker B: Craig's there. [00:14:43] Speaker D: Okay, so Craig also needs a room. [00:14:46] Speaker A: And Craig has been useful. Right? You've been using Craig. And Craig is. [00:14:50] Speaker D: Please. That's why I asked. Yay. I'm sorry. Yeah, so it's great. [00:14:53] Speaker A: Yeah, I think we confirmed that before, but I just want. [00:14:55] Speaker D: Yes, thank you. Sorry to interrupt. You said, I think that's perfect. Seven. [00:15:00] Speaker A: Mm hmm. [00:15:00] Speaker B: All right. But I hope they're all next to each other. [00:15:04] Speaker A: Oh, yes. They're just down this hallway here on the way you've. Well, just down there. He gestures. Yep. Where? Bathwax icon just moved on the map down towards my room. [00:15:16] Speaker C: That's where Kik also moved. [00:15:18] Speaker A: Yes. [00:15:19] Speaker D: Okay. [00:15:20] Speaker A: There are a number of rooms there, and there is one washroom that you could. You may all feel free to use. [00:15:32] Speaker D: I cry, but it's not for the bones. [00:15:34] Speaker A: Yeah, we don't crying for other reasons. [00:15:37] Speaker E: There's one washroom for all of us to use. [00:15:41] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:15:42] Speaker A: Oh, man. So these. [00:15:43] Speaker C: We're taking on more passengers. [00:15:46] Speaker A: They're already here. These two rooms here at the end. He gestures are taken, but the remaining rooms are available for you to use as you would like. I will try to check in. Back in with you soon. Like I said, I do need to go, but please make yourselves at home. If there's anything you need, if you have any luggage you would like stored, we have cargo holds, and I'll be back soon enough to take you to your first feast. [00:16:15] Speaker D: First feast? Are you saying that these things are doors? 123456. [00:16:21] Speaker A: I'll just reveal it now. [00:16:22] Speaker D: Oh. Because there's no. Okay. Sorry. [00:16:23] Speaker A: I was fine. I wasn't really sure when I was just fine. Let me just do that, just so it's clear for everybody. [00:16:27] Speaker D: So you're saying because there's two rooms here that are already occupied, and then there's only four more on this floor. [00:16:33] Speaker A: Or hold on. [00:16:37] Speaker C: There. [00:16:37] Speaker D: Oh, that's a lot of. Okay, that's way more. Okay. [00:16:41] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:16:42] Speaker D: Oh, this bathroom. [00:16:43] Speaker A: Oh, no. [00:16:45] Speaker D: Ooh. [00:16:46] Speaker C: Can I open the door? [00:16:47] Speaker A: Yeah, unless you're trying one of the rooms. He said we're occupied. Yes, you can. [00:16:53] Speaker C: No. [00:16:54] Speaker A: Each door is equipped with a key. Like, there's a key in them that you could take, so you could lock your room if you wish. [00:17:02] Speaker B: What's this big gold thing in my room? [00:17:04] Speaker A: That's a bathroom. [00:17:05] Speaker E: That's the washroom. [00:17:10] Speaker D: Rafina's like, I'll take the bathroom. [00:17:13] Speaker A: What's this big gold thing as she curls up in the toilet? [00:17:20] Speaker D: Will is like, don't stay near the bathroom. Bathwack, as he passes. He's like, you're standing right next to the bathroom. It's gonna stink over there. [00:17:26] Speaker E: Which two rooms are occupied by the new passengers? [00:17:29] Speaker A: The ones right on the far right. [00:17:33] Speaker D: Oh. Pathwack moved. He listened. [00:17:34] Speaker C: I put the key back and I followed you after you went a little ways. [00:17:39] Speaker D: Oh, okay. [00:17:40] Speaker C: You make a good point. Yeah, yeah. [00:17:42] Speaker D: You don't want to be near the second poop room we've encountered. It's probably a poop room. Oh, no. [00:17:50] Speaker C: Whoa. Sorry. There's a gigantic mo in the middle of the map, perhaps. [00:17:58] Speaker D: So who has the least ability to smell? Whoever that is should go across. We should convince whoever, whatever strangers are in these first rooms to go in the bathroom room that's right across from the bathroom. [00:18:09] Speaker A: What about right next to the bathroom that also sucks. [00:18:12] Speaker D: And the one over here sucks? Roscoe's right next to it. Yeah. Roscoe. [00:18:18] Speaker C: Oh, Captain Clockface. [00:18:19] Speaker D: Yeah, he's Cogsworth. Have you ever made that before? [00:18:22] Speaker A: It's been in here forever, so, yes. [00:18:24] Speaker E: I don't remember. Roscoe's fine right next to the bathroom because he can use aromatherapeutical mustards. [00:18:33] Speaker A: Right. [00:18:34] Speaker D: It's true. [00:18:35] Speaker B: It seems reasonable. [00:18:36] Speaker D: He has some poo pourri that's made out of mustard. [00:18:40] Speaker B: Rafina's in the room on the other side of the bathroom, but there are stairs between the two. [00:18:46] Speaker A: Yeah, there's a stairwell in between. A nice buffer. That's good planning because the toilet wall is right next to a non room. I didn't draw this. [00:18:55] Speaker D: Yes. Toilet wall. Gotta explain that, because we've had literal poop rooms. Well, there's not actually a toilet wall next to the wall. [00:19:04] Speaker A: And if that's not a toilet wall, if that wall were, like, where someone was. Their head was laying down to sleep on the other side, like, right over your head. [00:19:13] Speaker C: So do these rooms have portholes in them? [00:19:17] Speaker A: Yes, they do. [00:19:17] Speaker C: And we can look outside? [00:19:19] Speaker A: Yes. [00:19:19] Speaker B: That's what those gray things are, I think. [00:19:21] Speaker D: Oh, if I stick my head out my porthole and I look to the right, can I see bathwax sticking his head out of this porthole? How big are the windows? [00:19:29] Speaker A: You can stick your head out. You, um. [00:19:32] Speaker D: I I just. [00:19:34] Speaker A: Picture might be able to fit out, maybe. [00:19:37] Speaker B: Which one of you is downwind? [00:19:40] Speaker D: I'm on the other side. I'm not even on the same side as the bathroom. Oh, yeah. [00:19:45] Speaker B: This is of the wind, though. Which way is. Are we at the back of the ship? [00:19:50] Speaker A: So, where the captain's room is, is the prow of the ship, which means front. [00:19:56] Speaker B: Oh, he has a piano. [00:19:57] Speaker D: Wow. I didn't realize. [00:19:59] Speaker A: Remember you guys had a meet cute with it. You both hit a high circle, and. [00:20:04] Speaker D: Yeah, but I forgot. Yeah, okay, okay. I forgot about that, too. I didn't. I thought that was, like, a living room. I didn't even see the bed at first, so. Hey, I'm sleeping right next to the captain. So is she me? I thought that was just storage. [00:20:17] Speaker A: Yeah, we're right across. I mean, valencia, we're right across from each other, so, you know, if we need to confer over anything, you could just head on over. Or I'll head on over. [00:20:27] Speaker D: My head's out the porthole. I don't hear you at all. No, just kidding. I just. I take the bat. Like, the velvet. What did I have? Like, in a velvet? What? I wrapped the bones in something. Oh, the owl bears. It wasn't velvet. It was an owl bear pelt. But I, like, dab my eyes with, like. And I, like, close the door as if I'm click. Yeah, I'm tired of performing. I throw the bones on the ground as soon as I get in the room. I'm not even kidding. I'm like, ugh, clank. [00:20:51] Speaker A: Those are a king's bones. [00:20:53] Speaker D: Yeah. I wave one of the bones out, like, the arm bone out the window at bathwater. [00:21:02] Speaker C: Burial at sea. Pour him out the window. [00:21:07] Speaker A: You look back, and you see mo sticking his head out, and his tongue's lolling out like a dog. [00:21:12] Speaker D: Oh, my God. That's amazing, guys. This great. You think we can do this whole. [00:21:18] Speaker A: Trip. [00:21:21] Speaker D: I suddenly realize that I'm doing what mo's doing, and I get embarrassed. I just pull my head through the window, like, damn it, it's not cool. [00:21:27] Speaker B: How are we gonna eat out there, mo? [00:21:29] Speaker C: He's gonna catch seagulls in his mouth. [00:21:31] Speaker D: Yeah, okay, fair. I got two bugs already. Yum. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. I mean, we investigate the rooms, we talk to each other. What are we doing? Does it matter? [00:21:44] Speaker A: Go ahead. He'll be back summoning us. Do you have anything to say to each other? If not, I'll have him come back. [00:21:51] Speaker B: I knock on the wall between me and Shimi in what I think is Morse code, but I don't actually know Morse code. [00:21:58] Speaker A: All right, so it's actually shaving a haircut. [00:22:01] Speaker B: Yes, pretty much. Did you get that word? [00:22:10] Speaker A: And you hear back what? It's very muffled. These rooms are relatively well soundproof. Like, they're not. [00:22:17] Speaker B: That makes me a little uncomfortable. I don't like them to be so soundproof. [00:22:21] Speaker A: I mean, it's not like a murder chamber or. Okay, a recording studio. Heaven forbid. No, but they're just. You feel like you would have your private. You could have a conversation. You wouldn't have to worry about someone eavesdropping as long as you've got your porthole closed. [00:22:44] Speaker D: I come out, see if anyone has come out of their rooms. I peek my head out because the room's small enough. It's like, who's out? Anyone come out? [00:22:52] Speaker A: Clock faces out there. [00:22:54] Speaker B: Are the doors closed to the people we don't know's rooms? [00:22:57] Speaker A: Yes, they are. [00:23:01] Speaker E: Roscoe's just chilling with Oscar in his room. What kind of dog is Oscar again? [00:23:09] Speaker D: I think he's a dachshund. A long haired dachshund, maybe. [00:23:12] Speaker A: Yep. Okay, good memory. [00:23:16] Speaker D: I can remember that. [00:23:17] Speaker A: I can remember dogs, lots of other. [00:23:19] Speaker D: Things I can't remember. [00:23:22] Speaker A: You had a meet cute with Oscar. But that was with a trombone. I'm just. [00:23:30] Speaker D: Wait, I had a meet cute with Oscar? No, you trombone. [00:23:33] Speaker A: I was just trying to allude to things, forgotten that we were just. It was a callback to the piano. [00:23:39] Speaker D: Oh, nice. [00:23:40] Speaker A: I see. And then I just tried to come up with another instrument, and then I. Trombone was just random. Then afterwards I'm like, oh, it's kind of clever. Because of a dog and a bone and you. [00:23:51] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah. [00:23:52] Speaker A: Like in that Sarah weeks. [00:23:53] Speaker D: For me, it was too much. Okay, it's too much. [00:23:56] Speaker A: Sorry. [00:23:57] Speaker D: Keep it simple. [00:23:58] Speaker E: Oscar's just. Wish I forgot, sitting with Oscar, scratching Oscar's head. Then he just kind of muses out loud. Oscar. What was that thing back on the cliff? That was scary, huh? [00:24:14] Speaker D: Hmm. [00:24:16] Speaker E: Yeah, I know. What the fuck? Why would you say that to me? I know you were just kidding. Do you think Rafina and captive pants are gonna hook up tonight? Oscar, you dog. [00:24:50] Speaker D: He's humping his bed. [00:24:51] Speaker A: No, that was. That was Mo peeking his head in the door. [00:24:53] Speaker D: Okay, mo's humping. [00:24:55] Speaker E: Mo just peeked his head in my door. [00:24:58] Speaker A: Yeah, no, he didn't. But maybe he did. Hey, you okay? [00:25:04] Speaker E: Yeah, I'm just musing. [00:25:06] Speaker A: Okay. I heard barking. [00:25:10] Speaker E: Oh, yeah, that was Asuka. [00:25:12] Speaker D: Oh. [00:25:13] Speaker A: I don't know that we've canonically heard him make noise before. [00:25:18] Speaker E: I guess. [00:25:20] Speaker A: I mean, maybe. Who knows? [00:25:22] Speaker D: Let's check. [00:25:23] Speaker A: Wiki. [00:25:29] Speaker E: How's your room, mo? [00:25:30] Speaker A: Oh, good. There are bed there, a hole where you could put head through. Um, there's, like, a place where if you had, like, any belongings, you could put them. [00:25:44] Speaker E: Yeah, Roscoe's gonna. Oh, yeah, that's true about the portal. He'll kind of stack up something, or he'll move the bed over to the porthole so that Oscar can put his head out of the porthole. [00:25:59] Speaker A: Okay. [00:26:01] Speaker B: Rufina walks into Roscoe's room and says, oh, oh. Carefully don't drop Oscar through the porthole. [00:26:11] Speaker D: Okay. [00:26:12] Speaker B: He's so little. [00:26:13] Speaker A: Oh, it's called porthole. [00:26:16] Speaker E: It's not. Don't listen to me. [00:26:17] Speaker B: P o r t h o l e. Porthole. [00:26:20] Speaker D: Oh, I thought it a head hole. [00:26:23] Speaker A: Because you put head through. [00:26:25] Speaker B: That would make more sense. [00:26:26] Speaker A: What is port? [00:26:28] Speaker B: No, it's poor soul. [00:26:31] Speaker E: Okay, well, technically, on my side, it's called a porthole, but on your side, it's called a starboard hole. No. [00:26:40] Speaker A: Oh, does it make difference? Forehead. [00:26:45] Speaker E: No, not really. [00:26:46] Speaker A: Okay. All right, so. [00:26:50] Speaker B: I'm hungry. [00:26:52] Speaker A: Will, are you in your room? [00:26:54] Speaker D: Uh, yeah, I think I have to, because I think I'm gonna make myself look like I'm donning some kind of darker garb or something. I must have had luggage, I guess. Where's the rutabago? Did we. Do we have. We have everything we own, right? Like, we didn't leave it behind. So I'm assuming. [00:27:11] Speaker A: Oh, it's all gone. [00:27:12] Speaker D: Everything. [00:27:13] Speaker E: Awesome square root bagel, presumably is shrunk down into Rudy. [00:27:20] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:27:21] Speaker E: Roscoe will ask Rafina. So, uh, how are you? How are you doing? [00:27:35] Speaker B: I'm great. [00:27:37] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:27:38] Speaker B: How are you? [00:27:40] Speaker E: I'm, uh. You know, I'm feeling okay. I just. You know, things got kind of intense back there during our little. [00:27:52] Speaker B: Yeah. Things did not go as planned. Maybe we should just not plan things in the future, because it never works. I'm frustrated, but I feel better about it now. [00:28:02] Speaker E: You think we shouldn't plan things anymore? Because when we plan things, things go wrong. [00:28:06] Speaker B: Anyway, I'm just. I'm just having a moment with the nature of reality, so don't worry about me. I'll figure it out. It's fine. [00:28:15] Speaker E: I have those. [00:28:17] Speaker B: Do you? Oh, we should talk about them all the time. Yeah. You have a lot of moments with the nature of reality. [00:28:24] Speaker E: Sure. [00:28:24] Speaker B: Do you have any insights for me? [00:28:28] Speaker E: Well, I guess, you know, I mean, you seem to be doing fine. I saw that walk lady. Kind of. Did she say to you at one point you were absolved? [00:28:44] Speaker B: Yes, she. Me. [00:28:46] Speaker D: When I. [00:28:48] Speaker B: When I didn't want to be absolved. And yet it did help. [00:28:52] Speaker E: You didn't. Why didn't you want to be absolved? I presume we're talking about that. That you know the guy. [00:29:01] Speaker B: Yes, Rafina. [00:29:02] Speaker A: You killed a guy? [00:29:07] Speaker D: Yes, Rafina. [00:29:08] Speaker E: You. You stabbed a guy with a trident. [00:29:13] Speaker C: And he's still dead. [00:29:14] Speaker A: All right, you got the 20 year old reference? [00:29:17] Speaker D: 20 years old. Oh, my God. [00:29:19] Speaker E: So what, meta. Meta clarification. So bathwax instructions to, like, do a revivify spell or whatever, like, that never happened, right? [00:29:33] Speaker B: Right. [00:29:35] Speaker A: Yeah. That guy's dead. [00:29:37] Speaker E: Sure, sure. [00:29:38] Speaker A: And in your wake, and now we're floating away. Mm hmm. [00:29:43] Speaker E: Well, I'll say this, Rafina. I'm no stranger to accidental killings of people. It's happened to me a couple of times. [00:30:01] Speaker B: I guess that's true. [00:30:03] Speaker E: The first time was, like, immediately upon me becoming conscious as a being. [00:30:12] Speaker D: What? [00:30:14] Speaker E: I think you all know that. [00:30:15] Speaker D: I think. [00:30:16] Speaker E: Didn't Shamey tell you all about the guy that I accidentally pushed off the cliff? [00:30:24] Speaker B: Oh, right. [00:30:24] Speaker D: I don't know if he explained it so well. I'm not there, but in terms of using you fully conscious as a being, that's a very interesting phrase. [00:30:32] Speaker E: Well, my earliest memory. My earliest memory was running along, and then I accidentally ran into. Somebody pushed him off a cliff. And then, of course, there's Tanya's father, the evil ringmaster of Dozoikos. I guess I accidentally pushed into the lion's den or the lion's ring. The lion. The lion area. The lion's cage. He got mauled and. [00:31:09] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:31:10] Speaker B: What makes you feel better about. I mean, do you feel. Is it the mustard that helps? Do I need mustard? [00:31:19] Speaker E: Let's just say that eventually, over time, I mustered up the will to keep on going. [00:31:31] Speaker B: Rafina lies on the floor. [00:31:33] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:31:34] Speaker E: Okay. That was an appropriate time to make a joke. [00:31:38] Speaker A: What was joke? [00:31:42] Speaker E: Yeah. Mustard. [00:31:44] Speaker A: Yeah. You like it? [00:31:46] Speaker E: Yeah. Okay. Rafina, the fact is that I never had a magical moment where an orc lady absolved me of either of those things, which, looking back, I think maybe I'm thankful for, because I think I did need the time to. [00:32:13] Speaker D: To process it. [00:32:16] Speaker E: You think maybe you've been deprived of something, like, a natural thing that you needed to go through? [00:32:24] Speaker B: I think the intent. [00:32:26] Speaker D: The. [00:32:26] Speaker B: The intention was good. I think she wanted to help me focus on the matter at hand and do what I needed to do. I think that's my feeling. But I really needed to absorb and sit with the thing that I caused. I needed to fully, you know, like you said, I had to process it. I can't think of a better word. [00:32:54] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:32:55] Speaker E: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. You know, something strikes me. Sounds like what you need is to be unabsolved. [00:33:05] Speaker B: Maybe. [00:33:08] Speaker E: Wouldn't you know it? I've got just the thing for that. And he pulls out his. His mustard kit. [00:33:18] Speaker D: Oh, my God. [00:33:19] Speaker E: Kind of like a. [00:33:20] Speaker D: Like a kit that. [00:33:21] Speaker E: Like a. Like an apothecary might. [00:33:24] Speaker A: For various vibes or something. [00:33:27] Speaker E: Vials of mustard. And he's got a little book of mustard encyclopedia. And he opens it, and he's going through. And he's going through the use. All the onwards, he's going backwards on LinkedIn. Uncouple, unbind, un bake. Ah, here we go. Unabsorve. Looks like. Oh, this mustard. A little mustard of rosemary mixed with a little mustard of, uh, wormwood. [00:34:17] Speaker D: Mm hmm. [00:34:20] Speaker A: All right, I need to know. Does Roscoe need to make a deception roll at this point, or is he. Does he have belief in real? [00:34:27] Speaker E: Yeah, I would like it. I'm playing it as, like, the mustard stuff is canon and real. Like, I don't think his intention is. He believes it. [00:34:40] Speaker A: Got it. Okay. But. [00:34:42] Speaker E: But also, like, you know, the encyclopedia is, like. If you have ever seen Roscoe's handwriting, look at his handwritten. It is his notes. [00:34:51] Speaker D: He's been keeping this book, so encyclopedia written by Roscoe. [00:34:57] Speaker A: Wow. But. [00:34:58] Speaker E: So he's gonna make a concoction of mustard for unabsolution, and he'll put it out on a little spoon or something. And then there has to be, like, a communion wafer. [00:35:15] Speaker A: There has to be. [00:35:16] Speaker D: There has to be. [00:35:17] Speaker A: There has to be. [00:35:19] Speaker B: Trying to think if I have anything. [00:35:21] Speaker D: If only you had peace cheese. [00:35:24] Speaker B: If only. I know you just rub it on my teacup. [00:35:30] Speaker E: Okay. This is. You know, this is serious business, Ravina. If you. Do you really want to do this? [00:35:39] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:35:40] Speaker E: There are. You know, mustard's not just for taste. You know that, right? Mustard's not just for flavor. Yes, there are some qualities to the mustard seed, the humble mustard seed and all of its variants that, over the years, I've discovered some subtle yet robust arcanic qualities to them. So this is not just a bit. This is a real moment. This is a moment of the nature of reality. [00:36:23] Speaker D: Oh, I just got chills. [00:36:26] Speaker E: Oh, yeah. I'll close the porthole. [00:36:29] Speaker B: Thank you. I think it's pronounced porthole. [00:36:32] Speaker D: Okay. [00:36:34] Speaker E: So if you're ready, I'll go ahead and put some of this on the. The brim. The brim. The rim of your teacup. [00:36:43] Speaker D: The teacup has a little hat on it. [00:36:47] Speaker B: I believe it's called the phalange. Just kidding. [00:36:51] Speaker A: Don't cups have brims? [00:36:54] Speaker D: No, it can brim. But a brim is, like, on a hat, and he's right. [00:36:57] Speaker E: But it brims over a rim. [00:36:59] Speaker D: Yes, it can brim over a rim. And the brimming is like a. [00:37:03] Speaker A: Is an action brim is the top of a container. Like the edge of a cup. [00:37:06] Speaker D: Shut the fuck up. He just made that up. I don't even believe him. Let's check. [00:37:12] Speaker C: What's a rim, then? [00:37:13] Speaker B: So much for the nature of reality, guys. [00:37:16] Speaker A: Yeah, rimming is something else. [00:37:19] Speaker D: Okay, cool. Let's read that one out loud. [00:37:23] Speaker E: All right, Roscoe, put some. Some of this rosemary. It's the wormwood is. It's a very small amount. It's not enough to, like, poison you. [00:37:36] Speaker B: Thank you, Roscoe. I think this is important. And again, I don't wish to cancel out the intention of that kind lady, that strange lady. I just want to get myself back in that space of feeling what I need to feel about that death. [00:38:00] Speaker E: I think the intention at the moment soothed its porpoise. [00:38:03] Speaker B: Agreed. [00:38:04] Speaker E: Let this intention in this moment. Soy vids. [00:38:09] Speaker D: Thank you. [00:38:10] Speaker B: And Rafina takes her finger and rubs it where the mustard is on the brim, slashing rim of the cup. [00:38:20] Speaker A: No, thank you. [00:38:24] Speaker B: She rubs it between the palms of her hands and smears it all over her arms. I feel it. I feel it working. I feel it. I feel it. [00:38:33] Speaker E: I mean, that's a legitimate way, I guess. I mean, Roscoe has worn mustard as sunscreen. [00:38:41] Speaker D: Uh huh. So what the fuck now? [00:38:49] Speaker B: Does it absorb into the skin, or does it absolve into the skin? [00:38:55] Speaker A: That would be very counterproductive. [00:38:58] Speaker E: I'll let Eric determine everything from this point on. [00:39:02] Speaker A: Thanks, Adam. [00:39:03] Speaker E: I've teed you up. [00:39:05] Speaker D: It's great. [00:39:07] Speaker A: All right. [00:39:07] Speaker D: The whole campaign turns into a mustard campaign. [00:39:09] Speaker A: Do you have any hippopotamus nipples? On your arms. It may very well. [00:39:16] Speaker D: Oh, my God. [00:39:18] Speaker B: Not with this coat. No. [00:39:22] Speaker D: Amazing. [00:39:25] Speaker A: All right, well, it's very, very slightly tingly. Rufina, how are you feeling? How is Rufina feeling? [00:39:42] Speaker B: Rafina's feeling free. [00:39:45] Speaker D: Er. [00:39:47] Speaker A: Okay. [00:39:48] Speaker B: And yet, at the same time, anchored to this feeling of not guilt, but responsibility. [00:39:59] Speaker A: Okay. [00:40:01] Speaker B: She says, I feel like I have the muscles to carry this now. [00:40:06] Speaker C: Anchored. Very nautical. [00:40:10] Speaker B: That's right. Person who's not there. [00:40:12] Speaker C: I'm not there. [00:40:14] Speaker A: Alex is here. It's okay. [00:40:16] Speaker C: I was gonna ask Capti to explain what docking means. [00:40:23] Speaker B: Naughty, naughty. [00:40:25] Speaker A: So, Valencio, okay. You hear a rap tap tapping at your door if it's closed. [00:40:33] Speaker E: Oh, my God. [00:40:34] Speaker D: Okay. I, um. I do this sound like. Like that, but I'm not really, like, crying or, like, I'm. I'm doing that as I look at the bones that are on the floor, and I. Is there, like, a closet that I can just, like, kick them into? [00:40:49] Speaker A: There's a huge set of drawers you could put them into, and they're gonna. [00:40:53] Speaker D: Clatter around in there. Shit. I'm just like, shit. Um, like, there's no place. Okay, I. Valencio. All right. Okay. Put them in your dent. That is so smart. [00:41:12] Speaker C: Oh, my God. [00:41:12] Speaker D: Two people at my door. What? Come in here. I just suggest for them to come in. [00:41:21] Speaker A: Come on, kick. [00:41:24] Speaker C: Okay. [00:41:25] Speaker A: All right. You're all crammed into this little room. [00:41:26] Speaker D: Is it super tiny? I mean, it's. It's a. It's a. [00:41:29] Speaker A: It's a stateroom on a ship. They're not huge. [00:41:32] Speaker D: I don't know what a. Okay, listen, babe, you've known me for a long time. Do I know what a fucking stateroom on a ship means? What the hell? What? Do I have any concept of what a stateroom is? [00:41:43] Speaker C: Don't you have a stateroom back in Tivoli? [00:41:48] Speaker D: It's where I keep an entire state. [00:41:50] Speaker C: So, you know, kick says in bath. [00:41:53] Speaker D: Wax voice, I legit. No, just me. [00:41:57] Speaker A: Kate small. [00:41:58] Speaker D: I don't mean will. I'm like. [00:42:00] Speaker A: I spaces at a premium on a ship. [00:42:02] Speaker D: What does that even mean? I feel completely ignorant. You're acting like I should know things about ships. You know this. I don't know anything. Okay, all right, I'm looking. [00:42:09] Speaker A: Ignore it. [00:42:09] Speaker D: If I don't feel like we could fit in there, you could. [00:42:11] Speaker A: We could fit in there. [00:42:12] Speaker D: All right, cool. [00:42:14] Speaker A: Chimi sits on the bed. That clears up some room. [00:42:17] Speaker D: Then I. Annoyingly, I'm, like, getting down and picking up the bones and putting them back in the pelt. Mm. [00:42:22] Speaker A: Hmm. [00:42:23] Speaker D: And I'm like, I'm gonna have to be this guy for days. [00:42:31] Speaker A: I mean, like, you could be me, and I could be Valencia. [00:42:34] Speaker D: Oh, yeah, that would be really fun. We're not even the same height. [00:42:38] Speaker C: You could be me. [00:42:39] Speaker D: No, thank you. [00:42:42] Speaker C: I'm just kidding. I like being me. [00:42:44] Speaker D: Yeah, well, sometimes I can be a bird. And the good thing is, like, if I'm in mourning, maybe I could just be in here and I'm here. [00:42:49] Speaker C: When you were a bird, you took my lure. [00:42:51] Speaker D: Oh, yeah. And then I'll have it. I'll give it back to you. It was just in my pocket or something. [00:42:56] Speaker C: All right, I'm gonna put it back on the end of the line. How long is my line? [00:43:01] Speaker A: How long is it? You bought it. [00:43:05] Speaker D: Such freedom. [00:43:05] Speaker C: So long that any time that I use it, it reaches the water. [00:43:09] Speaker A: Great. [00:43:11] Speaker D: That's a cool. Wait a second. [00:43:12] Speaker E: It's a magic. [00:43:13] Speaker D: A magic fishing line. [00:43:16] Speaker A: You're in the middle of a desert, you just cast, and it just shoots off into nowhere. [00:43:20] Speaker E: I love that idea. [00:43:22] Speaker D: I really do, though. [00:43:23] Speaker A: Yeah, that's a cool idea. [00:43:26] Speaker C: I would just imagine it was in my mind. [00:43:30] Speaker E: I think that's legit. Yeah, that's a great magic item. [00:43:35] Speaker A: Yep, totally. [00:43:36] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:43:37] Speaker D: How much does something like that cost? Could I feasibly have bought it for. [00:43:39] Speaker A: Yeah, sure. [00:43:40] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah, you have that. Except I guess it's probably has to have limitations. You're gonna have to define that, because otherwise. Yeah, we're in the middle of a desert. [00:43:47] Speaker A: Desert. [00:43:48] Speaker D: And we find the nearest. [00:43:50] Speaker C: I guess I use it. [00:43:53] Speaker A: You're in the desert, you cast it. It shoots right down your throat. [00:43:56] Speaker D: Yeah, exactly. Right now. Right now. [00:44:01] Speaker C: I tried to cast it out the window, and it rockets back and lands in the toilet. [00:44:08] Speaker D: Holy crap. [00:44:10] Speaker B: I'm imagining you standing at the beach and facing away from the water, casting it, and it goes all the way around the world. [00:44:18] Speaker D: Yeah, he could do some really fancy cast with that. Win some competitions. Okay, we have so many. Kick. [00:44:35] Speaker A: Did you put your. Wait, we're in the doors closed pathway. Did you put your clothes on so you're not all fakely floppy up there? [00:44:45] Speaker D: Yeah, I wave at him, too, while I'm gathering bones. We're both waving our hands. [00:44:49] Speaker C: Wait, I can. I can take my mask off, right? For a second? Yeah, yeah, and and I can cast it again when I put it on. [00:44:56] Speaker A: Yep. [00:44:57] Speaker C: Yeah. Okay, doing it. I'm gonna see if I can rummage through my pack and get better oriented. I'm also gonna stuff things into my pack that I'm not gonna use for a while. [00:45:07] Speaker A: So bathrockets. [00:45:12] Speaker D: Perfect, cuz will would just be gathering. [00:45:14] Speaker A: These bones and then look right there. [00:45:17] Speaker C: Look at the map. [00:45:18] Speaker D: That's where I am on top of my head. I fucking love this. I love it so much. Will is so. That would be so miserable because I'm knee level. I'm down on the ground gathering bones. Bathwhack. And then I look up and that's right in my face. It's right in my face. [00:45:37] Speaker A: That's so good. [00:45:40] Speaker D: I probably stumble back like this. And then I try to get up and gather bones and act like this is totally normal. You have your own room. Bathwhack kick. Oh, yeah. I guess we should never say bathwhack again in my. [00:45:55] Speaker C: I don't know what you're talking about. [00:45:57] Speaker D: Yeah, exactly. I'm talking to these. My, my, my liege's bones. Wait, who's Bethwagon? He was very important. You should know, if you're in my room, you should already understand. [00:46:16] Speaker A: Yeah, maybe like, you came on board and we briefed you on who this is. So that way, in the future, if you happen to say something that someone might be like, would this. This lizard man know about this? We'd be like, yeah, we told him. [00:46:34] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:46:35] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:46:36] Speaker C: Can I have a bone? Just kidding. I'm gonna use my normal voice, but quietly. [00:46:41] Speaker D: I wanted a bone this whole time. I'm now gonna take the owl bear pelt and lay it out on whatever surface is like if there's a top of a bureau or something and like, set the bones up. But it's on a ship. It. Does it rock? I've never been on a huge ship. [00:46:56] Speaker C: It's like you're trying to build a card tower on a ship. [00:46:59] Speaker D: Just keep roaring everywhere. [00:47:01] Speaker A: I mean, it's a very big ship. It's relatively small. Steady. [00:47:05] Speaker D: Okay, well, I'm making it look like I'm making some kind of effort, when in reality I take one of the bones and I, like, rub it on my butt, like, and put it on there looking at bathwax because he's naked in my room. [00:47:20] Speaker A: What? It's not even his bones. You made them. [00:47:23] Speaker D: It signifies him. It signifies him, obviously. [00:47:28] Speaker C: So just for the future, let's assume I'm getting dressed in a way that is almost, but not perfectly shaped to my illusion. I still don't think I have a snout. I didn't buy a snout. I wasn't thinking hide. [00:47:44] Speaker A: Too bad we don't have any fondant. [00:47:48] Speaker D: Actually, I do have. Well, no, it was like a spice pouch. I have Gwen's stuff, I believe, but. [00:47:53] Speaker C: I am gonna stuff most everything into my pack and try to flatten it against my back. [00:47:58] Speaker A: And you're not gonna leave it in your room. [00:48:00] Speaker D: Yeah. You're gonna leave that in your room. [00:48:02] Speaker C: No, if someone goes in my room, they'll discover it. [00:48:04] Speaker D: But I can do this and hit you. You need to. We're gonna be around people. We are in tight quarters. We can't be throwing illusions, like, super far out at all. Look at all this shit. [00:48:15] Speaker A: This is the closest I've ever been to will in my life. [00:48:18] Speaker C: All right, let's say I'll leave it in. I'll leave it in. You know what? I'll leave it here in your room because that's where it would be. [00:48:24] Speaker D: You have your own room. [00:48:26] Speaker C: No, you have my bones, so. [00:48:29] Speaker D: Oh, it's your back. So, like, you don't even. All right, I see. Sure. [00:48:34] Speaker A: This guy's. [00:48:35] Speaker D: But how did I get them? People saw me walk in here with. All right, did you have them? How did they get. Nobody's paying attention. All right, good. Yeah, I just had them. Yep, I had them. [00:48:46] Speaker C: So let me say what you don't have, and we'll assume that everything else you do have. [00:48:51] Speaker D: Well, I don't know what's in your bag, but I will be glad to go through it later. [00:48:54] Speaker A: That's Alex talking. [00:48:55] Speaker D: Okay, cool. [00:48:56] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:48:57] Speaker C: So I'm going to keep my chainmail and my long sword. [00:49:01] Speaker D: Okay. [00:49:02] Speaker C: And my robe of eyes. Everything else you keep, including the weed. [00:49:10] Speaker A: Through all of this. Late at night, that bag's just gonna be sitting in the corner tempting you. [00:49:15] Speaker D: Every item is gonna be. Yeah, it'll sit in the corner. Like, I'm not even. I don't even care. I don't even care. And then it's, like, 02:00 a.m. And every piece of his stuff is, like, outlined in little, like, chalk outlines. Cause I'm just trying to figure out, like, what the. This guy's deal is. Like, what the fuck? There's half of a fish taco still in here. I've saw him throw out, like, two pounds worth. There's still one in here. What is this guy's deal? [00:49:43] Speaker C: So I'm going to leave the billow rope there, too. [00:49:46] Speaker D: Okay. Okay. [00:49:49] Speaker C: I know. Well, I can't afford to have. I can't afford to accidentally say billow and then. [00:49:55] Speaker A: Right. [00:49:55] Speaker B: It's a word you use a lot. [00:49:58] Speaker C: What? [00:49:58] Speaker B: It's a word you use a lot. [00:50:00] Speaker C: It's a nautical word. [00:50:02] Speaker A: It is. [00:50:03] Speaker C: Be careful. [00:50:07] Speaker A: Yeah. Billowing is a key part of semaphore. [00:50:11] Speaker D: Look at you. [00:50:13] Speaker B: I wish we could see the other. [00:50:14] Speaker D: Half of your body. [00:50:15] Speaker B: I can't. [00:50:16] Speaker A: Wasn't doing anything. I'm holding my iPad. Trying. Cramped quarters. [00:50:27] Speaker B: Are you in a stateroom? [00:50:29] Speaker A: Yeah, I know. [00:50:31] Speaker D: He's putting his feet on me again, guys. [00:50:32] Speaker A: Well, I have to. [00:50:34] Speaker C: Oh, crap. I want my wing boots, too. [00:50:37] Speaker A: That's fine. [00:50:38] Speaker C: You could be wearing the always have my wing boots. [00:50:40] Speaker A: I'm assuming you're wearing. [00:50:40] Speaker C: I didn't even take off my wing boots when I took everything else off. [00:50:43] Speaker A: Right. Every. He had nothing on but his weight boots. [00:50:47] Speaker D: All right. [00:50:48] Speaker C: And you didn't even want to look. [00:50:51] Speaker A: Well, she me looked. [00:51:00] Speaker D: This scene is so, like, I can see it playing like a movie. [00:51:03] Speaker B: Like, I can't believe I'm recapping this. [00:51:07] Speaker E: Wait, I thought I was recapping this. [00:51:09] Speaker B: Oh, are you? [00:51:10] Speaker E: I think I'm next. [00:51:11] Speaker D: Yeah, I think I lose the stuff. [00:51:14] Speaker A: On the calendar appropriately. [00:51:15] Speaker B: I didn't look recently. [00:51:17] Speaker D: All right. [00:51:18] Speaker C: Oh, and I have my fishing pole and my lures. Yeah, my one lure. [00:51:22] Speaker A: Sure. And your floppy hat and your shirt with buttons and your plain pants. [00:51:28] Speaker C: Yep, yep. [00:51:29] Speaker A: Got it. [00:51:30] Speaker C: So, wait, so. So some of these clothing articles are real, right? [00:51:34] Speaker D: So I think that Eric said on some of them. Yeah, like, whatever you would have wanted to, as you describe, like, the floppy. [00:51:41] Speaker A: Hat and the shirt. I don't even know if the pants have to be. Necessarily have to be real. [00:51:45] Speaker D: Did you say? Yeah, well, but I think Will would. [00:51:48] Speaker A: Have, like, he's wearing his own ship. [00:51:51] Speaker D: We're gonna be on a ship. Oh, yeah, the boots. I. Yeah, I wouldn't. [00:51:54] Speaker A: Yeah, whatever. Yeah. [00:51:57] Speaker D: As much as you can get. [00:51:59] Speaker A: The things, you know, we'll spatially matters. [00:52:02] Speaker D: Yeah. Yeah. [00:52:04] Speaker C: So, yeah, good. I'm dressed again. [00:52:07] Speaker D: Just. Thank God. I can finally turn away from these bones. [00:52:11] Speaker C: And now I sit back on Will's bed, and I cast my rod out the window. [00:52:18] Speaker E: What? [00:52:19] Speaker C: Oh, does it reach the water? [00:52:20] Speaker A: Of course it does. [00:52:22] Speaker D: Yeah. Okay. Amazing. [00:52:24] Speaker C: I'll look out the window. [00:52:26] Speaker B: It gets caught on a seagull, and you get pulled out. [00:52:28] Speaker D: Will is glaring at you, and he's like, are you fishing from my bed? [00:52:34] Speaker C: I'm practicing. [00:52:37] Speaker D: You better not catch a damn thing. [00:52:39] Speaker C: We have to do a good job. [00:52:40] Speaker D: I'm gonna reach out with a knife. I'm gonna pull my little pocket knife that I have. I'm gonna reach out with a knife and just want to cut that line, like, not for my bed. [00:52:50] Speaker C: Are you threading. [00:52:52] Speaker D: Yeah, it's my. The knife is, like, and forth between my arm is outstretched. I'm doing this. I'll do it the opposite way. But he does it with his right hand. Yeah. [00:53:01] Speaker C: I cast zone of truth. No, I'm just kidding. [00:53:04] Speaker A: Will jumps out the porthole. [00:53:07] Speaker D: Oh, fine. [00:53:08] Speaker C: I reel the rod in. I reel it in. [00:53:11] Speaker A: I pull. [00:53:11] Speaker C: I don't have a reel, though. I just pull it. [00:53:15] Speaker D: Huge fucking disgusting fish on it. And it flops all over Will's bed. [00:53:18] Speaker C: Is there anything. [00:53:19] Speaker B: It's a squid. [00:53:20] Speaker A: I have to give me a survival check with disadvantage. Cause you're fishing out of a porthole. I. [00:53:29] Speaker C: Okay. [00:53:33] Speaker A: Test me. [00:53:37] Speaker C: Not bad for fishing out of a porthole. [00:53:39] Speaker A: It wasn't with this. [00:53:40] Speaker E: Roll it again. [00:53:41] Speaker D: Oh. [00:53:45] Speaker A: All right. [00:53:45] Speaker E: Five oh, wow. [00:53:50] Speaker C: Well, look at that. [00:53:50] Speaker A: Also 213. Wow. I guess I shouldn't have made you roll with disadvantage. You reel in a small goby. [00:54:00] Speaker B: A desert. [00:54:01] Speaker D: Where does it go? [00:54:04] Speaker C: Oh, I accidentally, with a wink, lose my grip on it, and it flops around Will's room. And then I try desperately to pick it back up again so that I can eat it. But. [00:54:19] Speaker D: You'Re from a fishing village. Catch that thing. [00:54:23] Speaker A: No. [00:54:24] Speaker D: Oh, my God. [00:54:25] Speaker A: This isn't my room anymore. [00:54:26] Speaker D: This is not my room anymore. [00:54:27] Speaker B: Standing on your bed now. [00:54:30] Speaker D: God, look at this bed. I just want to get trampled and fish. [00:54:34] Speaker C: Can I just eat it? Can I eat it? I just eat it. [00:54:37] Speaker B: Some of the gills come off. [00:54:39] Speaker C: Well, I'm gonna eat it. I mean, we'll see what happens. [00:54:42] Speaker D: Standing in front of these bones that he's just laid out nicely, and he's just staring at me. She me. Cowering and standing on his bed. There's probably dirt on my bed. Everything's all messed up. And Bathwick is just staring at him after having gulped down a small, live fish. [00:54:59] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm actually super happy. Bathwick's really happy. Kick is really happy. He's like, that's your first. That's the first fish. [00:55:07] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:55:08] Speaker C: Caught a fish. [00:55:09] Speaker D: Great. And then he just. [00:55:11] Speaker B: I can do it. [00:55:12] Speaker D: He opens the door and gets out of the room. [00:55:15] Speaker A: Okay. Right, will. So. And Will Shimi follows you. So what's the plan? [00:55:20] Speaker D: No, we can't talk about this kind of stuff just out in the Olympics, Valencia. We just have to survive for however many days it is. What is it? [00:55:27] Speaker B: All right. [00:55:27] Speaker D: And then I go push back in, start to precipitate everything as I go back in because I'm fine. [00:55:34] Speaker C: Cake walked out, and he sat on one of the benches in the hallway. Are those benches? [00:55:38] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:55:38] Speaker B: No, that's a toilet. [00:55:39] Speaker D: I. Just kidding. Because we're right next to the captain's room. Right. Was he saying he was going in there? [00:55:45] Speaker A: No. [00:55:45] Speaker D: Okay, so presumably, maybe nobody is in there. [00:55:49] Speaker A: It's. You would assume that. Okay, I guess. Okay, I would assume that. [00:55:55] Speaker D: Okay. [00:55:55] Speaker B: Rafina puts her head out. Out of her room. Or. Well, because she's been back in her room after she left Roscoe's room, and actually, that's what's happening. As she leaves Roscoe's room, she sees will, like, dash out of, you know, Valencia. Dash out of his room. Hey, Valencia, is there something wrong with your room? Do you want to bunk with me? [00:56:19] Speaker D: Is your room bigger maybe? I doubt it. [00:56:25] Speaker B: I'm close to the bathroom. [00:56:26] Speaker D: Mine is covered in fish. [00:56:28] Speaker B: Oh, mine is not covered in fish. Sorry. [00:56:39] Speaker D: Okay. Are you gonna go entertain the captain or something? Because I think that might be what we need this whole time. For the thousands of hours we will be on this boat. [00:56:51] Speaker B: You need me to entertain the captain? I think he's really good at entertaining himself. [00:56:54] Speaker D: It would be lovely. He just loves you. He's obsessed with you. It would be lovely if you could just keep him distracted so the rest of us can maybe. We have a lot of horrible performers trying to be. You killed somebody. Oh, okay. Yeah. You reading the room? What are her emotions like? What is will like? That's serious. Is he. She upset? Insight roll. An insight roll? Unless Abby just wants to tell me insight. [00:57:26] Speaker B: Well, I still have to decide how. [00:57:28] Speaker D: I'm playing this 17. [00:57:32] Speaker B: So. Yeah, so it's pretty clear that Rufina is, um, a little on the edge. [00:57:41] Speaker D: Okay. Yeah. Okay, well, the rest of us are just a little worried, but you need to do what you need to do. What are you. What are you doing? What's going on? What's happening? Are you okay? [00:57:58] Speaker A: She rubbed mustard on her arms. [00:58:01] Speaker D: Why? There's fish and mustard everywhere already. We've been on this boat for ten minutes. [00:58:09] Speaker B: Roscoe gave me something to unabsolve. What the lady told me on the, you know, Hill, the devil's demon's leap, horns. [00:58:20] Speaker D: What happened? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What is she talking about? [00:58:24] Speaker B: I don't know if you were party to this because things were happening. Things were going down. [00:58:28] Speaker D: I wasn't there. I am Valencio baseman. And I thought the king was fine, and then I don't know who everybody. [00:58:35] Speaker B: Was or where they were. I knew what was happening. Not helpful. [00:58:41] Speaker D: No. [00:58:41] Speaker A: Okay. [00:58:44] Speaker B: The lady ran by me and absolved me of having accidentally killed the random person, and. [00:58:55] Speaker D: So why do you want to be unabsolved? Is my question, because I need to. [00:59:00] Speaker B: Properly and naturally and organically process that. [00:59:04] Speaker D: No, you don't. It's designed to make you feel better immediately. [00:59:11] Speaker A: What is? [00:59:12] Speaker D: Well. [00:59:12] Speaker B: And it did. But it wasn't. But I wasn't happy about it. [00:59:16] Speaker D: Well, that's. [00:59:16] Speaker B: So now I'm happy about being unhappy about it again. [00:59:24] Speaker D: Rafina, you are. You are something else. Good for you, I guess. Or horrible for you, actually. But that's. I'm happy that's you. [00:59:36] Speaker A: Okay, well, what do you mean, it was designed. What do you know about this? What this lady did? [00:59:43] Speaker D: I'm just like. I just know. Yeah, I know a little bit of the house of Zelberdia. I've already said this before. It's not like I'm unfamiliar with how Zelberdia works. [00:59:52] Speaker A: What about what. What does this have to do with Zulbertia? [00:59:56] Speaker D: She must be. I'm assuming, like, her magic comes from that or something. Because if that was the thing that happened and she automatically. All right, maybe I know a little too much. I don't know. I don't know what that means. I don't know what that says about me, but what I'm saying is, like, I. You know, that exchange happened, and she's some kind of magic y person. Is. We're sure she's not around, right? She's not a guest here or anything? We should make sure that we. [01:00:24] Speaker B: The door opens, and here she comes. [01:00:25] Speaker D: Yeah, I know. Like, geez, we need to, uh. We need to be careful about where we're talking. Okay. Um. Anyway, I just think it's. Don't you think it's weird? If you felt better about something, why would you want to feel worse? Shimi, I just think that's weird. That's all I'm talking about. [01:00:42] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, like, as a, um. I myself am a self ascribing hedonist, and so anything that makes me feel good, I embrace fully. [01:00:59] Speaker D: Ooh. [01:01:00] Speaker B: But then I have bad dreams, and my pee smells funny. [01:01:07] Speaker A: Um, that might be the mustard. [01:01:13] Speaker B: I think that. What, the mustard's gonna help. I don't like having bad dreams. I don't mind so much about the pee. [01:01:20] Speaker A: Okay. I was gonna say, if I had to bet on whether mustard would make pee smell better or worse. I think I know how I'd bet, having been around Roscoe for a few days. [01:01:32] Speaker B: Well, I appreciate everyone's opinions on all of this. It's lovely to hear about it. But I think we need to find the captain and see if we can help get things going so we can have our feast. I'm hungry. [01:01:43] Speaker D: Yes, please. Let's get things going quickly. Let's get the ship at top speeds. [01:01:50] Speaker A: Rah. [01:01:51] Speaker D: Oh. Hello. Okay, yeah, so somebody asked what the plan is. I don't think there's any plan. We just survive, lay low, don't get tangled up in shit if somebody has a problem, stop accepting quests. Everybody, just lay low. [01:02:07] Speaker E: Stop accepting quests. [01:02:09] Speaker A: Eric raises his iPad. Delete page, delete page, delete page. [01:02:17] Speaker D: I was trying to. I was trying to ask Rafina to kind of entertain the captain, but Rafina is going through something, and that is okay. Everybody else, maybe I'll talk to the captain. Maybe the captain also likes guys from wherever the heck I look like I'm from Bathwag land. I don't know. And let's. [01:02:36] Speaker A: But seriously, Valencia's a human, right? [01:02:38] Speaker D: Yes, Valencia is a human. Okay, I'm assuming. Yeah, but I'm a valet in Gully's end, so hopefully there are other humans, too. Like, no, I'm not just a weirdo. That stands out, right? [01:02:50] Speaker A: Yeah, you've been. [01:02:51] Speaker D: Okay, good. [01:02:51] Speaker A: I mean, bear toggles got a lot of halflings, but there's also other people. [01:02:56] Speaker D: Okay, cool. All right. [01:02:59] Speaker A: And, yeah, I mean, uh, trophast wasn't right. [01:03:02] Speaker D: He's a dwarf. Or elf. Or dwarf. Oh, he thought he was an elf that remembered him as a half elf, but he's a dwarf. Here, something like that happened. [01:03:11] Speaker A: He looked like a dwarf. Bathwack remembered him as something else. L for half Alf. I can't remember offhand. [01:03:17] Speaker D: Okay, so, yeah, cool. [01:03:21] Speaker A: I think the real reason, by the way, that we need to release faster is so that the Wiki's caught up. [01:03:27] Speaker D: I know. Mark Jessen has never seen just how helpful he already is. Yeah. [01:03:32] Speaker A: I want to look up trofast. I can't. [01:03:33] Speaker D: I know, I know. Hey, everyone, if you like what you hear, please consider leaving us a kind review. You, wherever that sort of thing happens. Also, support us by sending us a tip on Kofi. You can find all of our social media [email protected]. Thank you for listening, and we'll see you next time.

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