355: There's No Escaping Mark Jesson

355: There's No Escaping Mark Jesson
Pork Fried Dice - A Dungeons & Dragons Podcast
355: There's No Escaping Mark Jesson

Jun 10 2024 | 01:03:26

Episode 191 June 10, 2024 01:03:26

Show Notes

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Alternate Titles

Lofted Brimmed Bone Shelf Job

"Luggage" Doesn't Roll Off The Tongue Like Captain Clockface

We Are Very Socially Inappropriate When Meeting New People

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Episode Transcript

[00:00:00] Speaker A: You're listening to the show about a magic fishing line. It's pork fried dice. I'm Eric, and I'm the dungeon master. [00:00:12] Speaker B: I'm Abby, and I play Rufina. [00:00:15] Speaker A: I'm Alex, and I play bapwack. [00:00:18] Speaker C: I'm kt and I play will. [00:00:22] Speaker D: I'm Adam, and I play Roscoe. [00:00:27] Speaker A: Hold on to your haversacks. Let's roll. I think the real reason, by the way, that we need to release faster is so that the wiki's caught up. [00:00:39] Speaker C: I know. Mark Justin has never seen just how helpful he already is. [00:00:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:00:44] Speaker A: I want to look up trofast. I can't. [00:00:46] Speaker C: I know. [00:00:46] Speaker A: I know. [00:00:49] Speaker C: I really wish I could send him it without editing it. Like, I wish there was no, like, privacy concerns or anything like that, just so he could get it before anybody else. Just because he. I just feel he's so kind and, like, he does this just for nothing, just cause he likes us. He's so kind. I never know what to do for anybody. [00:01:10] Speaker A: Maybe release a podcast every week. Anyway. [00:01:13] Speaker C: I know, Eric, but still, he just goes above and beyond. [00:01:16] Speaker A: He does. He does. [00:01:18] Speaker C: Sweet. [00:01:19] Speaker B: He is. [00:01:20] Speaker D: You know he's listening to us, right? [00:01:22] Speaker A: I know he could listen to this. [00:01:25] Speaker C: I know. I. Depends on how I feel. When I met. [00:01:28] Speaker A: Oh, I see what you mean. [00:01:32] Speaker B: Sorry, hang on a second. We've got a. I just want to. [00:01:35] Speaker C: Remember what the heck the last thing said was. I think, was it just me? [00:01:38] Speaker A: You were just saying, there's no plan. Let's survive. Abby's going through. Or Rafina's going through something. Yeah, maybe I'll talk to the captain. [00:01:45] Speaker C: Yeah, just because I don't know who wants to, like bathwatch shouldn't be touching anybody. [00:01:51] Speaker A: Just as a rule. [00:01:52] Speaker C: Just. [00:01:53] Speaker A: Just never touch anybody for the sake of everybody. [00:01:55] Speaker C: Nobody else who can really, like. Maybe he'd be attracted to Roscoe. Maybe he just likes aged people. I don't know if Roscoe would be up, though. [00:02:04] Speaker A: You're muted, Abby, because of Alex. [00:02:07] Speaker B: Really? Oh, he had muted me. [00:02:10] Speaker A: Yep. It's all good now. [00:02:13] Speaker C: Sorry, I didn't mean to, like, actually distract anybody. I was just trying to. [00:02:16] Speaker B: No, no, no. Sorry. [00:02:18] Speaker C: I was trying to recollect, like, what the heck was. Recollect? What's going on? Recollect. [00:02:22] Speaker A: Recollect. [00:02:23] Speaker C: Recollect. [00:02:24] Speaker D: Recollect. [00:02:25] Speaker C: Recollect. [00:02:25] Speaker A: Recollect. No, Adam had a halls. Not a recolo. [00:02:31] Speaker C: Oh. [00:02:34] Speaker D: Wow. [00:02:35] Speaker A: I saw you. [00:02:37] Speaker C: Yeah. Weird, right? [00:02:38] Speaker A: I'm always watching. [00:02:39] Speaker C: That is really. [00:02:40] Speaker B: That is Eric always watching. [00:02:44] Speaker A: I loved Adam's face. [00:02:45] Speaker E: Are you ever gonna wear your sunglasses. [00:02:49] Speaker D: You're asking me? [00:02:51] Speaker E: Yeah, he's got sunglasses on. [00:02:54] Speaker B: Is that the first time you've noticed that? [00:02:56] Speaker A: Aw. [00:02:57] Speaker D: The reason I keep those there is because they're a pair of sunglasses that I never wear. [00:03:01] Speaker C: Hmm. [00:03:03] Speaker A: Interesting. [00:03:03] Speaker C: So it looks like cousin it. It's very cute. [00:03:05] Speaker B: It does. [00:03:07] Speaker C: I love it. It's very good for Halloween, too. Oh, yes. And all year round. All right, this is your chapstick. You just. [00:03:14] Speaker A: Yeah, sorry. I threw it on the ground while I was putting on my sunglasses. [00:03:17] Speaker C: Oh, geez. It's these stupid prescription roll on. Prescription. [00:03:23] Speaker B: Sorry. [00:03:24] Speaker E: They don't even have things that go over your ears. [00:03:26] Speaker C: Yes, they're just. When you get your eyes dilated. Eric has had to get a couple. You have a couple pairs of them now. You're so. I just remember the last time you went, you got a second pair. I'm like, oh, boy, you were so excited. [00:03:38] Speaker A: I love these. [00:03:39] Speaker C: He loves them. I don't know. It's so weird. [00:03:42] Speaker A: Great. Come on. They just, like, roll onto your head. You can wear them with these headphones. Nothing happens. What? What? Abby? What? [00:03:55] Speaker B: I don't. I don't know how to describe it. I feel like Colin Robinson would wear those. Yes. [00:04:02] Speaker A: Got a lot of calling. [00:04:03] Speaker C: Listen, that has been something we've talked about, because sometimes we talk about, oh, who are you on the show? Like, we're like our five year old, six year old, seven year old selves, where we're like, I'm the blue Mermaid. And, yeah, we have absolutely come to that. Like, oh, yeah, Colin Robinson. [00:04:19] Speaker A: We can role models what we do in the shadows right now. [00:04:22] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh, that'd be fun. [00:04:24] Speaker C: So who is involved? Nandor? Guillermo. [00:04:26] Speaker A: Nadja. [00:04:27] Speaker C: Nadja and Lazlo. [00:04:29] Speaker A: You're Lazlo? [00:04:31] Speaker C: Who's Lazlo? Is that Matt Berry? [00:04:33] Speaker B: Maybe. [00:04:34] Speaker E: Who's Laszlo? [00:04:35] Speaker A: The sexy one. [00:04:38] Speaker C: It's Matt Berry. [00:04:38] Speaker E: Which one of us is Lazlo? [00:04:40] Speaker A: Kt. [00:04:40] Speaker C: He just said that I am, but I don't even know. I have to think. Who's Nadja? [00:04:45] Speaker D: I think I might be Nadja. [00:04:47] Speaker B: Yeah, I think you might be, though. The way that Roscoe. Wait, there was something that Laszlo said that reminded me of Roscoe in a recent episode. I have to. I'll have to recreate that in my brain because I definitely had a click there. [00:04:59] Speaker A: I feel like none of us are Guillermo, though. [00:05:02] Speaker D: I think Alex is probably Guillermo. [00:05:05] Speaker E: I might be Guillermo. [00:05:06] Speaker D: Very reserved, gentle. [00:05:08] Speaker C: Yeah, and also could kick your ass. [00:05:10] Speaker B: Which means Abby's is a terrible liar. [00:05:13] Speaker A: Nandor. [00:05:14] Speaker B: I get to be Nandor. [00:05:15] Speaker C: Just like, I'm trying to. [00:05:16] Speaker A: I think that works. We did. [00:05:18] Speaker C: Okay. She is really, like, sexist and made, like, a bunch of husbands at one point and then, like, got rid of a bunch of them right through murder. [00:05:26] Speaker A: And is absolutely horrible. [00:05:27] Speaker E: And I'm always. I'm always dusting the coffin. [00:05:31] Speaker A: Dusting the coffin. [00:05:33] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:05:35] Speaker B: All right, we got all the science pellets. We did it. [00:05:37] Speaker C: Robinson, though. You got the sucks. Damn. [00:05:44] Speaker A: But they're also friends. Lazlo and Colin Robinson. Oh, my God. [00:05:48] Speaker C: I know. [00:05:49] Speaker B: You guys keep watching because the character development really does some nice things in this last season. [00:05:55] Speaker C: Okay, does Colin Robinson grow a personality? [00:05:59] Speaker A: Oh, God, I hope not. Then I can't be him. [00:06:05] Speaker C: I love you, babe. I love you so much. All right, all right. So. [00:06:09] Speaker A: So you guys are talking. [00:06:11] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:06:12] Speaker A: Down the hallway comes. Oh, Phileas. [00:06:16] Speaker C: Phileas. [00:06:17] Speaker B: Oh, I thought Phileas didn't make it on, though. [00:06:19] Speaker A: No, Phileas was not able to find. [00:06:23] Speaker C: Oh, okay. [00:06:24] Speaker B: Sorry, the people. [00:06:25] Speaker A: But he came back. [00:06:26] Speaker C: Wait, do we know. Do we know who Phileas is? [00:06:29] Speaker A: You saw him before. He's like his, like, right hand man. Like, his first mate. [00:06:32] Speaker C: First mate. Okay, we saw him. When did we see him? What happened? I have no memory of it. [00:06:37] Speaker A: He was. He was. He, like, I think, took you on the ship and took you to the captain. Oh, and the captain sent him. I don't remember exactly who. There were a couple people you saw. [00:06:48] Speaker D: We saw him briefly, but you saw. [00:06:50] Speaker A: Him, and he was sent to go fetch. Ostensibly. Will, who? The person who Roscoe thought was disguised as Will. [00:06:58] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's hilarious. Okay. Yeah. All right, cool. So he's coming down the hallway. [00:07:07] Speaker A: He is? Yes. [00:07:08] Speaker C: Okay. [00:07:09] Speaker A: And Phileas says, I hope you all are settled in. Is there anything I can help you with here in your rooms? [00:07:16] Speaker C: Any. [00:07:16] Speaker A: Any questions you have or anything you need? [00:07:22] Speaker C: I need something for the bones. Something more proper. Something. What do you have on the ship? [00:07:30] Speaker A: What would be most proper for a king of gullyzer? [00:07:33] Speaker C: Can you take those glasses off, you ridiculous weirdo? [00:07:36] Speaker A: They help me. [00:07:37] Speaker C: Oh, they help you. Okay, that's very cute. Oh, God. Now I have. But now I have to actually. [00:07:43] Speaker A: Okay, just don't look at me. [00:07:45] Speaker C: Okay. Yeah. What did you say again? What would be the most proper thing? [00:07:49] Speaker A: Phileas comes up. [00:07:50] Speaker C: You dork. Such a dork. It's so ridiculous. [00:07:55] Speaker A: They're the best. [00:07:58] Speaker C: All right, go ahead. [00:08:01] Speaker A: You should wear these while I'm working. [00:08:03] Speaker D: Yes. [00:08:04] Speaker C: If it helps you, then, yeah. You feel like a cool dude while doing your job. [00:08:08] Speaker A: I don't feel like a cool dude. Don't worry. [00:08:11] Speaker C: Okay. [00:08:13] Speaker A: It's so bright now. [00:08:17] Speaker C: You said, like, what would be the most proper thing? [00:08:20] Speaker A: Yeah. What would be a. What would be most proper for a king of Gully's end? I am sorry. I apologize. I am not familiar with. [00:08:28] Speaker C: Well, first of all, you can't just go in a drawer. No, it must be above, like, higher than my head. I need something secure and also something expensive and nice. This is for a king, not just some. [00:08:44] Speaker A: Would we. I mean, I could probably find something. We could have a shelf installed in your room. Would you like them to remain with you in your room? [00:08:56] Speaker C: The bones? [00:08:57] Speaker A: Yes. [00:08:57] Speaker C: Oh, I thought you were talking about the person. Sorry. I was, like, the person that built this. I was very. You were like, would you like them to stay in your room? I'm like, why? [00:09:05] Speaker A: Once they install the shelf, do you want them to, like, lay under your bed, reach up and massage your elbows while you sleep? [00:09:13] Speaker C: I keep saying it was, like, to guard them or something. And I'm like, no shit. I don't want to go that far. I don't want anyone in the room because the bones will disappear eventually. [00:09:21] Speaker A: No, I don't use pronouns like they when it comes to people. Oh, great. [00:09:25] Speaker C: We're on the most fun cruise ship ever. Phileas sucks. Yep. Oh, my God. Okay. Okay. Yes. The bones should stay in my room because I am the only one fit to care for them and to bear them to where they need to go. [00:09:50] Speaker A: So they. You want them to be high up, higher than your head. [00:09:53] Speaker C: Higher than me. [00:09:54] Speaker A: Okay. He. He steps back and gets kind of a measurement of you. He just looks you up and down just to roughly there. [00:10:01] Speaker C: Needs your kind of rim so that they don't fall everywhere. [00:10:04] Speaker A: Yes. Yes. [00:10:05] Speaker C: Hit a storm. And there needs to be gold. [00:10:09] Speaker A: Something worthy, perhaps even a brim. Yes. [00:10:13] Speaker C: I was gonna make the joke out. If there were hats. If there were hats strewn about, there might be brims there. But I feel like that might be disrespectful because it's just a bald skull, actually. Although, wait a second. Let me think about the funeral rites. Maybe some kind of head covering made out of a precious metal, silks, something. Something regal. [00:10:36] Speaker A: Hmm. [00:10:37] Speaker D: Wow. You got the funeral rights. That's awesome. [00:10:42] Speaker C: The funeral rights. Yes. [00:10:44] Speaker B: Yeah, the rights to the funeral. [00:10:46] Speaker C: Don't worry. [00:10:48] Speaker A: I don't know how much we'll be able to work with precious metals. Not only do I don't know what we have on board, we don't really have any metal workers here, but perhaps some fine fabrics. I think we could. We could work with that. Would that be suitable? [00:11:02] Speaker B: Perhaps. [00:11:04] Speaker A: Very well. [00:11:05] Speaker C: I'll see how. How it turns out, I guess. And how fast can that be done? Just because I want to go somewhere. [00:11:10] Speaker A: Else says I can. I can have that installed by this evening. [00:11:13] Speaker C: Okay, but I need to be there. Please do not enter the sacred space. I have blessed it. I have blessed it. If you enter that space, of course there will be problems, and that's that. You need to warn the other passengers. Nobody should enter my room. In fact, I need something on the door that says. [00:11:29] Speaker A: Oh, that is an unwritten rule. Nobody is to enter. You. You have your key, correct? [00:11:35] Speaker C: I guess we do, yeah. [00:11:36] Speaker A: Like I said, there was a key in the door. [00:11:38] Speaker C: In the door. Yes, I do. But I'm just saying, if there is, nobody can enter. Even, like, housekeeping. I don't know if you neanderthals have that on this ship, but if you did, you're not allowed in there. The place has been blessed. Only I may enter. [00:11:53] Speaker A: Understood. [00:11:53] Speaker C: Or you will have offended an entire kingdom. [00:11:56] Speaker A: I would not wish to do that. I would not even wish to offend. Just you. You're a passenger on our ship. As are you all. He gestures to everybody gathered in the hallway watching this exchange. I will. [00:12:12] Speaker B: Rafide starts clapping. [00:12:17] Speaker C: Amazing. [00:12:19] Speaker A: I will be sure to come fetch you when the time comes to when we have our. The materials gathered for the installation of this lofted, brimmed bone shell job. [00:12:37] Speaker C: Shelf job. [00:12:38] Speaker D: Lofted, brimmed bone shelf job. [00:12:43] Speaker C: And then I try to say, is. [00:12:44] Speaker A: That on urban dictionary? [00:12:46] Speaker C: I try to make up some. Some word that sounds like it's draconic or something. [00:12:50] Speaker A: You try to? [00:12:51] Speaker C: Yeah, because I can understand it now. So I have kind of an ear for it. I try to, like, make up some word, and I correct him, like, what it's actually called. [00:12:58] Speaker A: Okay, what does it sound like? [00:12:59] Speaker C: Oh, man. [00:13:01] Speaker A: Is it supposed to sound like chain? [00:13:02] Speaker C: Ask Ching. Asking. It's definitely asking. It's asking something like that, you know? [00:13:16] Speaker A: Oh, as ching. Yes. When we're ready to install the has Ching, we will come find you so you can oversee its installation. Does that suit your needs, sir? [00:13:32] Speaker C: I have. Tears come out the corners of my eyes and drop down my face. [00:13:36] Speaker A: He holds out a. A handkerchief to you. [00:13:40] Speaker B: I'm gonna say, like, a spoon to gather them. [00:13:45] Speaker A: Thank you, sir. I appreciate the tip. [00:13:48] Speaker C: Yeah, that's it. [00:13:49] Speaker B: The way you were holding your hand, it looked like you. [00:13:51] Speaker C: Yeah. Anyway. Wait, what? [00:13:55] Speaker B: I thought it was like, a spoon that he was gathering the tears with. [00:13:59] Speaker E: I missed it. Oh, well. [00:14:00] Speaker C: Oh. Can he still not hear you? Or is he missing? Is he still. [00:14:04] Speaker B: It was a tissue. [00:14:06] Speaker E: Oh, it was a tissue. [00:14:07] Speaker B: Yeah. It wasn't a spoon. [00:14:11] Speaker C: That was very confusing. Um. Okay, so, yeah, that. Yeah. Will ends the conversation by looking all mournful. Okay, get the fuck out of my face, Guy. [00:14:20] Speaker A: Any of the rest of you, is there anything I can assist you with? My. The captain asked me to come here to escort you to the lounge to share in some pre feast drinks. A few of the other passengers are there if you would like to mingle or not. [00:14:36] Speaker B: Delightful. Is it only a select few? [00:14:40] Speaker A: A select few what guests? [00:14:43] Speaker B: I thought we were all guests. [00:14:46] Speaker A: I meant some of the other guests that are on the ship. [00:14:51] Speaker B: I'm sorry. I am being unclear. I'm feeling a little unhinged, but I'll try to get through this. What I am asking is, is this pre meal gathering just a select few, or is the entire ship invited? [00:15:07] Speaker A: Oh, the entire ship. The guests on the ship are invited. The crew will not be there, save for those who are serving you, of course. [00:15:15] Speaker B: Do you know if we'll meet our neighbors who are also in this wing of the boat? [00:15:20] Speaker A: I believe one of them is there. [00:15:23] Speaker B: Fantabulous. All right, let's go. I'm ready. [00:15:26] Speaker D: Actually, I am curious. So is this. Do we have reason to understand that, like, there are other guests throughout this ship? Is it a cruise ship, quote unquote? [00:15:38] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:15:38] Speaker D: Like, are there other levels or is this kind of. These are all the quarters in terms of, like, for guests? Yeah. [00:15:49] Speaker A: Well, it's not the only level. I mean, you know how big you saw from the outside, how big the ship is, and it was pretty big. Yeah. There are definitely multiple levers there. Levels. There are visible stairs. You can see them on the map right now, that lead up. But you also think there's probably levels below you and. What was I saying? You don't know if there are other rooms on the ship or not? He just told you that those two rooms were occupied. [00:16:23] Speaker D: Gotcha. [00:16:26] Speaker A: I have written 72 NPC's. [00:16:31] Speaker C: Oh, my God. [00:16:32] Speaker B: Is that true? [00:16:33] Speaker A: No. [00:16:34] Speaker C: Oh. [00:16:35] Speaker B: Oh, I'm so sorry. My brain thought you meant ever. Like, that's how many NPC's you've ever done. [00:16:41] Speaker C: Oh, I wonder how that's. [00:16:42] Speaker B: That would be a fun thing to find out. Let's not make Mark Jackson find out. [00:16:48] Speaker C: Oh, poor Mark. Mark would be, like, compelled to do it. No, Mark, don't listen. Three. He's crying the whole time. [00:17:00] Speaker A: Three. [00:17:05] Speaker C: Oh, man. Okay. [00:17:07] Speaker A: All right. So, yeah, he leads you down the hallway towards where, apparently, you're gonna have some pre feast drinks. I need a refill on my drink and some water. Does anybody else need anything? Can we take a. [00:17:23] Speaker B: Will you please get me a gin and. No, I'm just kidding. [00:17:25] Speaker A: Yeah, I would. All right, I'll be back in an hour and a half. [00:17:30] Speaker C: Yeah. See you in a minute. Go long. [00:17:37] Speaker A: All right, bye. [00:17:39] Speaker C: It's like I'm never gonna bother to do anything about it, though. [00:17:43] Speaker A: When I smile like this with my beard is out of whack as it is. I remind myself of the costume that Jafar puts on during Aladdin, where he's that old guy. [00:17:57] Speaker C: I think Eric really wants to be that guy in real life. Whoever has the gold makes the rules. [00:18:04] Speaker B: And he wears those sunglasses right in Aladdin. [00:18:09] Speaker A: Let's see. Does it complete the ensemble? The rest of the treasure is yours, but the lamp is mine. [00:18:21] Speaker C: Like, if Eric could play that character in any movie, just for the rest of his life, he would be so satisfied. I think just any. If that was your job, just to play that character in every movie, anytime they needed a weird, crotchety old man. [00:18:36] Speaker A: It was all elbows and knees. [00:18:38] Speaker C: Yeah, exactly. It's all pointy and skinny. That's what you would want to be. Yeah. [00:18:41] Speaker B: Perfect. [00:18:42] Speaker C: Mm hmm. [00:18:45] Speaker A: Do I have any characters like that in my game? [00:18:47] Speaker C: Hmm. [00:18:49] Speaker B: Soon you will. [00:18:50] Speaker C: Yeah. How do you not? Like. You must have had some. Well, like, I feel like the voice for the guy that got his eyes taken out. No, his voice was. [00:18:59] Speaker B: I was just thinking that. [00:19:00] Speaker C: Yeah, but, like, he was really skinny. Yeah, he was like. Or whatever and all pathetic. I feel like that was maybe kind of, but not. But it's not as wacky. [00:19:09] Speaker A: And his voice was more like this. [00:19:13] Speaker C: Was it Alan Rickman? [00:19:14] Speaker A: Yes, it was inspired by Severus snake. Anyway, all right, so pre feast drinks. You guys are heading to some pre feast drinks. Don't be confused by your doppelgangers on the map. I just did that as a reminder for all of you, but mostly for myself, which rooms you all selected, because we'll all forget. All right, so let's drag all your icons. So you head back towards the aft of the ship, which is also the stern. One's outside, one's inside. Refer to the wiki if you want to know which is which. Rufina just zoomed off into the darkness. [00:19:57] Speaker B: Oh, no. I fell down a hole. Now where am I? [00:19:59] Speaker A: Get yourself out of there. There you go. [00:20:01] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:20:04] Speaker A: Kind of goes. These narrow doors, you see a set of stairs going down, and you head past a few doors and through into this lounge area. There are some. You don't have to treat the picture. I don't know why. Again, this image I just stole from the Internet somewhere. I don't know why. This is the weirdest room. I could not, like, maybe you guys could figure it out. It's a lounge, but, like, what do you think whoever made this image intended for this room to be? You're saying it's, like, half empty? [00:20:41] Speaker C: Are you saying that it said lounge, or. No, no, no, it's a lounge. [00:20:44] Speaker A: I'm saying. [00:20:45] Speaker C: Do you think. [00:20:45] Speaker A: Yes. [00:20:46] Speaker C: What do you think that the original. [00:20:47] Speaker A: The artist intended for this room to be? There's like. It's like. It looks like train chairs. Train seat sitting facing each other, like. And, like, the back half is just empty. [00:20:58] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:20:58] Speaker B: It's weird sense for a boat, though, because if it does get rocky, then people can be, like, sitting in a stable bench situation and not fall over, maybe. [00:21:10] Speaker C: Yeah, but, like, what are you supposed to do in here? You just sit in here and have a staring contest. Like, there's. [00:21:14] Speaker A: It's weird, right? [00:21:15] Speaker C: So bizarre. It must. I don't know. That's so weird. There's a lot of tables, too. [00:21:22] Speaker B: It must be. [00:21:23] Speaker C: It must be some kind of. [00:21:25] Speaker A: Well, it is a laugh. This is like. Again, disregard the way the layout is in here. There's like. There's a nice, soft, plush carpet on the floor. There are soft seats scattered around. There's one of those round seats, like a circle, where you can sit all the way around the outside. There's tables and things and the. [00:21:47] Speaker C: So it's cozy. [00:21:48] Speaker A: It's nice, yes. [00:21:51] Speaker C: Is everything bolted to the floor like a normal ship, or are we gonna. [00:21:54] Speaker A: It's all on casters, actually. It's all wheels. [00:22:00] Speaker C: I call that one. I run across the room trying to catch it. [00:22:03] Speaker D: This is actually the bumper cars room. [00:22:10] Speaker A: And the most striking thing about it, I would say, is that the walls are almost entirely windows, so you can see out the back of the ship and you can see the wake that's being left behind at this point. You might be able to see Trent in the far distance, but it is well behind you at this point. And in this room, you see. So Phileas led you in, so he's there with you. You see a person dressed in formal wear with a tray of glasses moving about. That person is. It's a half orc, actually. [00:23:03] Speaker C: Is there gonna be a murder? I hope we're in an Agatha Christie novel. That's really what I would. [00:23:08] Speaker D: I just saw a haunting in Venice. [00:23:11] Speaker C: I'm so jealous. I want to see that. So I want to see it, too. [00:23:14] Speaker B: Let's go see it. [00:23:16] Speaker D: So, I didn't see the other two, but I really, really liked haunting in Venice. [00:23:20] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:23:20] Speaker B: What do you mean, the other two? [00:23:21] Speaker A: The other two. Kenneth Branagh, Agatha Christie, once, Orient Express. Yeah. [00:23:28] Speaker D: Death on the nile. [00:23:29] Speaker C: We saw. [00:23:31] Speaker A: I don't think we saw death on the second one. [00:23:33] Speaker C: I'm pretty sure I watched the second one by myself. [00:23:37] Speaker A: Okay. Or maybe we started it. I don't know. Whatever. [00:23:40] Speaker C: I don't know. Yeah, no, there's three. [00:23:43] Speaker A: There's three Kenneth Branagh, Poirot films. Third one. [00:23:50] Speaker C: Yeah. Abby, how do you actually say it? [00:23:52] Speaker B: I. Poirot, maybe Poirot. [00:23:56] Speaker D: It's Poirot. Yeah. [00:23:58] Speaker B: Poirot it is Poirot. [00:23:59] Speaker C: Okay, because I don't know any French. Did you ever take French? [00:24:03] Speaker A: Nope. [00:24:03] Speaker D: Latin. [00:24:04] Speaker C: Latin, right. Yeah. [00:24:06] Speaker B: Which is much more useful, actually. [00:24:07] Speaker A: Oh, of course it is. [00:24:10] Speaker C: Sing your song in Latin that, you know, the Christmas one. [00:24:13] Speaker A: What is it? Prima de aina talis a mator. Dead at me per die chemin holy secunda. Die at me duos torture set per die chem in piro. [00:24:29] Speaker C: High five. [00:24:29] Speaker B: This is gonna be a long time. [00:24:31] Speaker C: Yeah, exactly. The next hour. [00:24:33] Speaker A: Quinquan. Amazing. [00:24:41] Speaker C: That's why. But actually. [00:24:42] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:24:42] Speaker D: In the vein of KT's question. Unless it was as will. But Roscoe, as we're kind of walking into the lounge, will kind of be like, hey, guys, remember what happened last time we were on a boat? Let's be real careful. [00:25:00] Speaker B: I steered it. Oh, not that boat. [00:25:05] Speaker A: No, I did. I steered it. [00:25:09] Speaker B: That boat. [00:25:10] Speaker D: Actually, last time we were on a boat, you got hit in the shoulder with a crossbow. [00:25:17] Speaker B: What about the raft? [00:25:18] Speaker D: Was it or was it a dagger that that hit rufina? [00:25:22] Speaker C: I think there was some. A projectile of some sort shot out of the room at her, for sure. [00:25:28] Speaker A: I don't think they were throwing daggers. I'm pretty sure it was a bolt. [00:25:30] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:25:31] Speaker D: Yeah. So. And then you kind of did the same thing to that guy. And, Trent, you're really paying it forward, huh? [00:25:40] Speaker B: I'm not gonna sit next to you at dinner, Roscoe. [00:25:46] Speaker D: Fair enough. [00:25:48] Speaker A: But it's actually because she remembered what happened after she got hit by the crossbow bolt, and then you fell on top of her and had a wet drink. Yeah. [00:25:57] Speaker C: Right. [00:26:01] Speaker D: Gross. [00:26:05] Speaker A: So, yeah, there's a half orc serving drinks, and there are. You can see what you assume are two guests in the room. The first is a human woman, middle aged. These two are talking to each other, actually. She is wearing a red suit with a red top hat. And the other person is a dwarf male. He is wearing. It's like, almost like, um. What's the term? It's not a cowboy hat. It's like, um. It's kind of like that, though, but, like, with, like, the ends kind of curled up. Uh, it's. It. And he's wearing also a vest and chaps. And all three of these items seem to be made of some sort of a reptile skin. [00:26:55] Speaker C: Okay. [00:26:56] Speaker A: Um, they're. They're standing at, like, a high top table, talking to each other, and then there's nobody else here except for you guys. [00:27:06] Speaker C: Sorry. [00:27:06] Speaker B: Did you see? He was half human, half orc. What did you say he was? [00:27:09] Speaker A: He was a dwarf. Oh, dwarf was. And is. [00:27:13] Speaker B: Still is. [00:27:15] Speaker A: Okay, and then the person with the. The tray comes up to you, and he says, would you like. I have champagne here. There's also whiskey at the. The table over there. You may help yourself. And you look over, and there's this massive bottle of buffalo whiskey surrounded by tumblers. Please, if there's any way I can be of assistance. And he holds out the tray and sort of bows his head deferentially. [00:27:47] Speaker D: And you said there are drinks on the tray already? [00:27:50] Speaker A: He has flutes of champagne, and there's also whiskey. There's a pitcher of water on a table. [00:27:57] Speaker E: Yeah, those were table with whiskey. [00:27:59] Speaker A: Yeah, there's tables around, and there's. There's. Yeah, and if there's something to get whiskey. Yeah, if there's something that you would like that you don't see here, please ask, and I will do what I can to obtain it for you. [00:28:12] Speaker D: Roscoe takes two flutes of champagne for himself and drinks one right away, and then walks over to the. The two people, the human woman and the dwarf male, and says, so are either of you an assassin? And remember, you have to tell me if you are. [00:28:38] Speaker A: They both look over to you, and the dwarf said, what's that? You think we're assassins? [00:28:46] Speaker D: Well, I don't think one thing or another. I'm just asking you if you are. [00:28:51] Speaker A: Well, sir, no, I'm not an assassin, says the woman. And I don't believe my friend Shawn here is either. Nope. No, I'm not. [00:29:04] Speaker D: Sean Lang. [00:29:06] Speaker A: Yes, this is Sean. My name is sue. And you are? [00:29:12] Speaker D: The name's Roscoe Lafleur. And I'm very pleased to know that neither of you are assassins, because. Oh, you know, are you an assassin? Oh, no, but we were recently targets of some. [00:29:32] Speaker A: Oh, well, that's. That's quite unnerving to hear drinks. Yes. He has a whiskey, and she has, um. She's just drinking water. [00:29:44] Speaker D: Roscoe will lift a toast and be like, well, to to not getting assassinated. [00:29:52] Speaker A: That sounds like a good toast to me. And they. They clink glasses with you. What brings you aboard this ship? Here with us? [00:30:02] Speaker D: I'll let the others answer any more questions you have. I'm okay now. [00:30:09] Speaker A: That seems very normal of you. [00:30:12] Speaker C: Very normal. [00:30:14] Speaker D: Well, thank you. [00:30:17] Speaker B: Extremely normal. [00:30:19] Speaker A: All right. Kix got himself hooked up with some whiskey, it sounds like. So does she. [00:30:24] Speaker B: Meena, has Rafina took a flute of champagne as well? [00:30:30] Speaker C: Okay, yeah, I would have taken a flute of champagne and then draped myself dramatically, mournfully, over some piece of furniture. [00:30:38] Speaker D: Somewhere, like, oh, at Shea lounge. A shea lounge? [00:30:41] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. If there's a shea lounge, there I am. Like, I just look mournfully into the champagne. [00:30:48] Speaker A: Okay. [00:30:50] Speaker E: I drink it at the side of my mouth so I can get it really close to my real mouth. [00:30:54] Speaker A: Yep. [00:30:57] Speaker D: Awkward. [00:30:59] Speaker A: It's either that or just point your your snout straight up the sky and just pour it in. All right? And no one talks to anybody. [00:31:15] Speaker B: This is us at cocktail parties. Good time. [00:31:18] Speaker A: It's me. [00:31:20] Speaker D: No one's gonna pick up where Roscoe left off. I know he's trained you for exactly this moment. [00:31:26] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:31:26] Speaker B: So true. [00:31:28] Speaker C: You should do it. [00:31:29] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm just. [00:31:32] Speaker C: Here we go. Let's do the three voices. Talk to this other guy. [00:31:35] Speaker A: Well, wait, wait, wait, wait. [00:31:36] Speaker E: Oh, sorry. [00:31:37] Speaker A: Hold on. [00:31:37] Speaker E: Can you. Can you recap, though? [00:31:38] Speaker A: There are two guys. [00:31:39] Speaker E: There are two people other than us, right? [00:31:41] Speaker A: There are two people and the server. [00:31:44] Speaker E: Two people in the server. [00:31:46] Speaker B: We don't know the server's name. [00:31:47] Speaker A: Right. [00:31:47] Speaker B: It's not someone we already knew. Already met. [00:31:50] Speaker A: He didn't introduce himself by name. [00:31:52] Speaker D: Okay, one is a human woman, middle aged, in a red suit with a red top hat. Her name is sue. And the other is a dwarf male in a cowboyish hat and a vest and something else made of reptile skin. [00:32:08] Speaker C: Will could ask dramatically. Like, are either of you residents of Gully's end? [00:32:14] Speaker A: Uh, well, no, I'm not. I'm, uh, going there to to venmo wares. Oh, yes, I am, too, actually. Sean here was just telling me how he is a, uh, a merchant of exotic pets. I, myself am I a self made businesswoman and inventor. What about the rest of you? Or any of you from Gully's end? Maybe you could give us some tips I am. [00:32:49] Speaker C: And then I just cry into the side of him. [00:32:52] Speaker A: Oh, what's wrong there? Chapter. [00:32:55] Speaker C: Is she me here? Will look at. [00:32:57] Speaker A: She's there that wasn't she me will. [00:32:59] Speaker C: Which will would like. Like somehow indicate to Shemi like you should. You should tell this tale of Bathwax. So she. [00:33:08] Speaker A: Well, let me for telling the tale. Valencio here, he's. He's quite bereft of any happy emotion. He's in mourning. His. His. He was the valet to. Perhaps you've heard of him. The king of Gully's end. Bat thwack Mudrak. And sorry to say, Batwack met his end just this morning outside the city of Trent. The town of Trent. Saving the citizens therein. For from an imminent threat, he found himself dashed upon the rocks below the cliff. Where we. [00:33:56] Speaker C: We. [00:33:56] Speaker A: They. Excuse me. I wasn't there. But they fought bravely against first this old man slash crab thing. And then, unexpectedly, a large rock demon. Monster creature that birthed itself from the cliff itself. It raged and wreaked havoc upon them, but Batwack smote it with his holy, divine, kingly power. But at the very last moment, he was overcome. And he plummeted to the ground below, immolated by the demon's last fiery grasp. All that remains of him are his charred bones, which. Valencia here. [00:34:54] Speaker E: I saw that bit. [00:34:56] Speaker A: Yes. I forgot to mention. This Fisher person who we met after this. His name's Kick. He saw it happen. And he. He was a witness to the events therein. Otherwise, not really related. [00:35:10] Speaker E: You look pretty dead. [00:35:12] Speaker A: Yes. [00:35:13] Speaker E: Pretty dead. [00:35:14] Speaker A: I don't know that. I'm sorry. [00:35:16] Speaker E: I'm sorry if it bothers all of you. [00:35:20] Speaker A: And Valencia here was, as I said, king Batwack's valet and close, trusted, personal, dare I say, friend? Valencio. Yes. You. You were Batwack's friend, right? [00:35:39] Speaker C: Like, he steals his mouth. Like, at first it was fine. [00:35:42] Speaker A: It's all right. You could say it. Maybe it'll help. [00:35:46] Speaker E: Kick turns around to get more whiskey. [00:35:50] Speaker C: Yes. Valencio Bejeman, you was Bathwick Madrax best friend, right? [00:36:02] Speaker A: And so he. He has taken it upon himself to bring these bones back to the primal homeland of the king. To be ensconced behind the grandest of waterfalls in Gully's end, where his ancestors have been lame to rest. With the hope that if the proper rights are observed, King Bathwack may very well wait. [00:36:38] Speaker C: I don't think we know this part. [00:36:41] Speaker A: This is a secret that we're only gonna pass along to his close friends? [00:36:47] Speaker C: Did he fuck it up? Does he interrupt him? Okay, good. She means, good job, Jeannie. [00:36:55] Speaker A: Where he'll be laid to rest permanently, and finally, where he will no longer be a threat to any evildoers. [00:37:07] Speaker E: This guy over here, he's really Batwack. [00:37:14] Speaker D: I think what Shane meant to say at that point is that we have the exclusive rights to Bathwax funeral. [00:37:21] Speaker E: Oh, to the film? Yeah, yeah, the funeral rites. [00:37:26] Speaker A: Yeah, there's, like, this weird film on the bones. I don't know if it's, like, leftover from the demon, if it's part of being a king, but, yeah, they've got the rights to it. So that's why we're here. And the rest of us, we all either new bat whack or King Bathwax, or we're just, like, kind of along for the ride. Mo here, he just wants to meet a bunch of gods. I didn't want to run the shop. My parents ran very successful shop, so I just kind of went off with all of them. Rafina here just killed a guy. Roscoe's first memory was of killing a guy. [00:38:10] Speaker C: This is the best scene ever. [00:38:13] Speaker B: I know. [00:38:14] Speaker A: So that's kind of our story. Oh, and this is a. Like a clockwork man. We call him Captain Clockface, but that's probably almost definitely not his name. I think one of these guys made it up. Probably what? We used to be around some guy named Will who like to kind of get in, digs at people and, like, be a little bit disrespectful. He used to call Captain Clock face here just luggage. Um, but, you know, we don't know his name. He can't talk. Actually, he can talk now, but all he says is. And captain, clockwise is Ra. Yeah, see, all he says is Ra. So, like, I guess we could maybe he looks to everybody, start to call him raw luggage. [00:38:58] Speaker E: Doesn't roll off the tongue like captain clock be. [00:39:02] Speaker D: I mean, he, uh. [00:39:04] Speaker A: What? [00:39:05] Speaker D: You know. [00:39:05] Speaker A: Did I miss something? [00:39:07] Speaker D: No. You're doing a great job of recapping literally everything about us, Shimi. [00:39:13] Speaker A: I don't know about literally everything. I think that might be a bit of hyperbole. [00:39:18] Speaker D: Roscoe, you do raise an interesting question. [00:39:22] Speaker A: Sure I do. [00:39:24] Speaker D: Uh, guys, where is Will? Like, do we. [00:39:34] Speaker C: We don't have. [00:39:35] Speaker D: Do we have a cover story for what happened to Will? [00:39:38] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:39:39] Speaker B: The nice thing is, though, that no one else is going to worry about where Will is. Only we would. [00:39:43] Speaker A: Will never showed up in Trent. [00:39:44] Speaker C: Yeah, he never was in Trent. When he got out of the van. [00:39:48] Speaker D: He was like. [00:39:49] Speaker C: He. He started to be different people right away. [00:39:52] Speaker D: But. But in terms of, like, for Juliet rusher purposes, right. Or for, like, general. We've never discussed what happened to Will. What is our cover story? So Roscoe will ask, like, yeah, where is Will again? Could somebody. She may recap that part. [00:40:14] Speaker E: They move in with the lady from the inn. No, the lady left. [00:40:21] Speaker B: We. [00:40:21] Speaker D: Oh, yeah, maybe. Yeah, maybe we left Will at the quiet crossings in. [00:40:28] Speaker A: I mean, like, he did have, like, this sort of subtle back behind the bar conversation with her. They exchange something. I don't know what it was, but. [00:40:39] Speaker D: Maybe get kind of flirty with her. [00:40:42] Speaker E: Might have been vows, though. [00:40:45] Speaker A: I mean, I saw the picture behind the bar. I mean, I think she. She's gay, but, I mean, I guess she could be bisexual. I. Or maybe they're not romantically linked. Maybe they're just business partners now. [00:41:00] Speaker E: Marriage inconvenience. [00:41:03] Speaker B: Hey, guys, these new people don't even know who we're talking about. [00:41:10] Speaker C: I'm sorry. [00:41:11] Speaker E: This is what happening in giant thought bubble. [00:41:13] Speaker B: We are very socially inappropriate when meeting new people. [00:41:17] Speaker A: No, Rollsko taught us how to be normal. This is it. [00:41:21] Speaker B: Well, we tried for a little bit, but it didn't fit us very well, so we fell apart again, thank you for trying, Roscoe, but I think she. [00:41:31] Speaker D: Me, did a great job just now. [00:41:33] Speaker C: Thank you, Shemi. [00:41:34] Speaker B: I do, too, actually. Shimmy. That was wonderful. [00:41:37] Speaker A: Thanks. [00:41:37] Speaker B: Gosh, she pats him on the elbow. [00:41:41] Speaker D: How do sue and Sean seem to be reacting? [00:41:44] Speaker A: They're just kind of. They seem. They seem bemused. [00:41:49] Speaker B: Bewildered, perhaps. [00:41:51] Speaker D: So, sue, what sorts of things have you invented? [00:41:56] Speaker A: Well, lately, what I've brought. I don't have it with me on hand. It's in my room. But I've invented a portable spray bath. Yes, I see a few of you, your eyes lit up at that, and I do not blame you. It's just the tears. [00:42:24] Speaker E: A shudder makes its way through kick's body. [00:42:31] Speaker D: Portable spray bath? [00:42:34] Speaker A: Yes, that's right. [00:42:35] Speaker B: And it's fueled by Valencio's tears, actually. [00:42:39] Speaker A: Oh, that's an interesting thought. [00:42:40] Speaker D: That's why everybody's been collecting his tears. [00:42:48] Speaker A: No, I mean, it's. It's. It's self contained in a. In a portable carryable case that can be set up in moments where you can find yourself showered from above by cleansing liquids, rinsing off anything that might be befouling your very skin. [00:43:07] Speaker D: So you would just insert, like, mustard into this contraption? [00:43:12] Speaker C: Yeah. What kind of materials could you put in there? Actually, just water. Is it cast magic in some way that only one thing can come out of it, or what? [00:43:24] Speaker A: There's a reservoir that you would fill with whatever we want, ostensibly liquid, of aqueous origin. [00:43:36] Speaker C: Listen, you can't tell me you didn't think about all these things before. [00:43:41] Speaker A: What would you like to put in it, sir? I mean, once. Once the portable spray bath is yours, I mean, you can do with it what you will. It may void the warranty, though. [00:43:52] Speaker D: I guess it sounds like it would also work with. With water. But. But it. Its primary thing would be mustard, right? [00:44:01] Speaker A: No. [00:44:04] Speaker C: Or like, holy oils. [00:44:08] Speaker D: No. [00:44:09] Speaker C: Holy oils to bathe kingly bones. [00:44:14] Speaker A: That is maybe slightly more appropriate. [00:44:17] Speaker C: Slightly. Your machine should be so lucky to bathe the bones of King bathwater. [00:44:25] Speaker A: What about holy water? [00:44:27] Speaker B: What about just tea? [00:44:30] Speaker A: Um, well, again, um, it's designed to be. Its primary function was intended, at least for cleansing of the body. [00:44:44] Speaker B: Why can't you. I cleanse with tea all the time. [00:44:48] Speaker A: Sea spray, salt water. I mean, these other materials you're talking about may start to build up in the. There's a. There's a. There's a tube that leads up to this fixture that you put at the top of a pole above where the. I mean, again, I can see the pattern drawings. Typically, water is intended to come out and rain upon your body in order to cleanse it. [00:45:20] Speaker C: Can you imagine if everyone across six rivers heard that such a machine existed that could bathe anything in anything? I mean, if they heard that such a machine had bathed the very bones of a king, there might be that you might be able to sell it everywhere. Wouldn't that be worth something? We could, like, advertise that it was used to. [00:45:44] Speaker A: So, I mean, I'm reading between the lines here, I guess, a bit. But I suppose you're trying to. Are you trying to rid the bones of this film you were talking about before. [00:45:55] Speaker E: Trying to make a new film? [00:45:59] Speaker C: Yeah, we. He was. He was incinerated by a foul being. I would love to be able to actually treat the bones as they need to be treated. [00:46:13] Speaker A: And what. And with what do they need to be treated? [00:46:16] Speaker C: Well, if holy water is the only thing you will allow me to use, that would suffice, but should be certain oils. [00:46:22] Speaker A: I'm willing to work with you. [00:46:23] Speaker C: What. [00:46:23] Speaker A: What types of oils? I'd be more comfortable with oils than mustard, for example. [00:46:31] Speaker C: Oh, well, some mustard might be involved. I mean, just. [00:46:36] Speaker A: It's a question of viscosity, I think, really, at this point. [00:46:41] Speaker C: Okay, well. Well, I'm just saying I don't know, I. It has to be. I would. I would have to say. I would have to see it, because if it wasn't regal enough, then I don't know. So you can't enter the space it's blessed. That should have spread already throughout the ship. Nobody has to enter the space where the bones are. [00:47:04] Speaker A: I don't know where the bones are. [00:47:06] Speaker C: Okay, well, just don't enter any rooms that you know that you shouldn't enter, and I will eventually tell you after I am more composed. And then I turn and I bite my hand, like, do you need a shower? [00:47:19] Speaker D: Is that what you're calling this thing? [00:47:21] Speaker A: What? No, it's a portable spray bath, Roscoe. [00:47:26] Speaker E: I mean, Adam, is it mustard, or is it mustard essential oil? [00:47:35] Speaker B: Or is it mustard gas? [00:47:39] Speaker D: Is what mustard? [00:47:42] Speaker A: It it. [00:47:43] Speaker E: All right, never mind. [00:47:44] Speaker A: Forget I asked. No, I mean, this is unrelated to the game, Adam. This just has nothing to do with Roscoe or anything. Apropos. [00:47:53] Speaker E: Nothing, I think, is what Abby would say. [00:47:56] Speaker D: Roscoe certainly has mustard essential oils in this mustard kit. [00:48:00] Speaker E: Yeah, of course he does. [00:48:06] Speaker A: Well, I mean, I guess if we're trying to talk about what we've got to bring to the table. Anybody here interested in some exotic pets that they might want to bring home with them? [00:48:18] Speaker E: I think we've got Jimmy. [00:48:21] Speaker D: No, this is Sean, the exotic pet merchant. [00:48:25] Speaker B: Like the. Like. Like the one you're wearing. [00:48:29] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. You've noticed my duds, have you? Yeah. No, this is not. This was not a pet. I did hunt this down, though, myself. [00:48:40] Speaker B: What was it? [00:48:41] Speaker A: Oh, it was a. It was a mighty beast. I tracked it down in the swamps. I wrestled it superwocky. I wrestled it for what felt like days with more like 20 minutes. I got my knife, I sliced it up its gullet and pulled its skin off while it was still dying. [00:49:06] Speaker C: Whoa. [00:49:08] Speaker A: I dried it down, slapped it on me self here. And you've got my full get up. Sean, indigo at your service. [00:49:17] Speaker B: Sean, indigo. Okay, that was. That was a very detailed story. [00:49:24] Speaker A: I mean, I've heard a more detailed story within the past five minutes, that's for sure. [00:49:30] Speaker D: So, a question. Why did you kill this thing rather than, you know, train it to be an exotic pet? [00:49:41] Speaker A: Ah, too vicious. I managed to capture some of its babies, though. Those I sold off at a pretty penny. Sure. [00:49:49] Speaker D: Well, at this point, it is a question of viciousity. [00:49:52] Speaker C: Viciousity. [00:49:57] Speaker A: And that makes me think of. What is it? Vichyssois. Vicious. [00:50:02] Speaker B: Vichyswas, like is like the sauce or something, or a soup or. I don't know. [00:50:08] Speaker A: What is it? Vichy suice. It's. It's brim, actually. [00:50:16] Speaker B: I feel like it's a soup that. [00:50:17] Speaker A: You make with fish made of cooked and pureed leeks. Potatoes, onions and cream. [00:50:23] Speaker B: No fish. [00:50:23] Speaker C: Thank you, chalmers and brim. Vichy. Soie. [00:50:29] Speaker D: Needs to be your next guest. [00:50:30] Speaker C: Remember. [00:50:31] Speaker D: Remember sin? [00:50:32] Speaker C: I feel really bad about sin. Yeah, he just died. I just was editing that, and I don't think we're gonna. We. I don't know. Will you release an episode tonight? [00:50:41] Speaker A: It depends on when we in. [00:50:43] Speaker C: Um, but, yeah, like, I was just editing that recently, and I'm like, oh, no, sin, he died. [00:50:50] Speaker D: Yeah, he got. He got a vada cadavered. [00:50:53] Speaker C: Yeah. Like, immediately. [00:50:55] Speaker A: He got power. Word killed. [00:50:56] Speaker C: Yeah. Crazy. Oh, well, somebody. So did somebody. Entrench. Pour. [00:51:02] Speaker A: Pour a champagne out of porthole for sin. [00:51:06] Speaker C: Poor sin. [00:51:08] Speaker A: Porthole. Sorry, abby. [00:51:10] Speaker B: Porthole. Yeah, that's right. [00:51:13] Speaker D: Okay. [00:51:14] Speaker C: Pulled off his skin while the animal was dying, and he dried it out and slapped it on. Shawn Indigo at your service. [00:51:19] Speaker A: Yep. [00:51:19] Speaker C: Is that what. The last thing that was said? [00:51:21] Speaker B: That's horrifying. Thank you for that story. [00:51:25] Speaker A: You're welcome. [00:51:27] Speaker B: Sits in one of the red chairs. [00:51:30] Speaker A: Cool. [00:51:30] Speaker D: Well, I've already got a pet, and. Rafina, you've got a pet? [00:51:35] Speaker B: Yes, I do. [00:51:37] Speaker D: And I think. Valencio, do you have a pet? [00:51:44] Speaker C: I have bones. [00:51:46] Speaker D: Okay? [00:51:46] Speaker C: Bones is what I have. [00:51:48] Speaker A: Okay. [00:51:50] Speaker B: Melanchio has a pet back in Gully's end. I think he sent the pet back there. [00:51:56] Speaker D: Oh, okay. [00:51:58] Speaker A: Plus, he has a pet peeve. What are we people going in the blessed space where the bones are? [00:52:03] Speaker C: Don't go in the blessed space. [00:52:10] Speaker D: So I don't know if maybe kick wants a pet. [00:52:12] Speaker A: I mean, I think he had, like, a bird hopping around him earlier. I haven't seen it in a while. [00:52:18] Speaker B: He might have left it behind. [00:52:19] Speaker A: I could use a pet shimmy. [00:52:23] Speaker B: Can you handle a pet? Will you remember to feed it? Will you change the litter box? [00:52:27] Speaker A: Oh, I think that I could be trusted with any responsibility any of you would place upon me. I think I've made that abundantly clear over the past four days. Or whatever. [00:52:42] Speaker B: Or whatever. What sort of pets do you have, Sean? Is that what you were gonna say, roscoe? [00:52:47] Speaker D: Yeah, I was gonna ask the same thing. Because Shami has been a great support to our party, and he gave such. [00:52:56] Speaker B: A good recap just now of us. [00:52:57] Speaker D: And I'm rich. So, Shailey, look at Jean's wares and tell me what sort of pet you want. [00:53:10] Speaker A: Oh, that's exciting. That's exciting for chibi, says moe. [00:53:15] Speaker B: Aw, poor Moe. [00:53:18] Speaker D: Uh, mo. What, do you want a pet too? [00:53:22] Speaker A: I don't think I'm ready for responsibility. Cause, like, you're not supposed to eat pet, right? [00:53:29] Speaker B: Right. [00:53:30] Speaker A: I don't think I could handle that yet. [00:53:33] Speaker D: Okay. [00:53:34] Speaker A: It's okay. I'm just excited for Shibi. All right, well, I suppose we could set up maybe a viewing. I wasn't really expecting to vend any of my, my goods here, but I do have them on ship in my suite. I suppose maybe I could arrange for. [00:53:57] Speaker D: You can't have a viewing again. We've got the only funeral rites on the ship, so. Okay, that's a. I'm afraid that's not gonna work for us. [00:54:08] Speaker A: Right, well, I think you'll find that a funeral is legally distinct from a viewing. [00:54:15] Speaker B: Oh, good. [00:54:15] Speaker A: Okay. Q E D. That was great. [00:54:23] Speaker C: QED. [00:54:25] Speaker D: Alright, well, fine. [00:54:26] Speaker A: Yep. Or viewing it is. I'll lay out all my dead pets. You'll get to look at them. [00:54:33] Speaker C: So dead. [00:54:34] Speaker D: Wait, do you think exotic means dead? [00:54:37] Speaker A: Do you want open or closed? Caged? [00:54:40] Speaker C: Are you saying. [00:54:41] Speaker D: Oh, you're not saying exotic. You're saying exotic like it used to be otic, as in like ontological, existent exotic. [00:54:53] Speaker B: Very clever, guys. [00:54:56] Speaker A: We're, we're all too clever for our own good. [00:54:58] Speaker B: It's really true, because all of our pets are basically exotic too. [00:55:03] Speaker A: Yeah, yours is for sure. [00:55:05] Speaker B: Yep. [00:55:07] Speaker A: Clock face. Was he everotic? He's erotic. [00:55:12] Speaker C: You just said everotic. Everotic. Everotic. [00:55:15] Speaker B: Everotic. [00:55:16] Speaker D: Everotic. Never. [00:55:22] Speaker A: Listen to our new podcast. [00:55:24] Speaker C: Oh, my goodness. [00:55:26] Speaker A: Where we watch and discuss the hit WB scrambled WB. Porn scrambled WB. [00:55:37] Speaker C: Nice. [00:55:38] Speaker A: What's going on in my brain? I don't know. [00:55:43] Speaker E: Kik walks over the bartender. [00:55:45] Speaker A: Yep. [00:55:46] Speaker E: Is he still here? [00:55:46] Speaker A: Yes. Yes, sir. What can I do? [00:55:48] Speaker E: Is it a bartender? Is it a like? What's he doing? [00:55:51] Speaker A: There's not like a bar in here. [00:55:52] Speaker E: He's like a server. [00:55:54] Speaker A: Yeah, but I mean, he told you he could get you what you wanted if you didn't see anything. [00:55:58] Speaker C: Here. [00:55:58] Speaker A: You like to drink? [00:56:00] Speaker E: Uh, hi. [00:56:02] Speaker A: Hello. I make Abby laugh every time. [00:56:05] Speaker B: I love that voice. [00:56:06] Speaker A: What can I get for you? Kick. [00:56:09] Speaker E: Do you have any of the gullies and green? [00:56:13] Speaker C: Hmm. [00:56:14] Speaker A: I could check on that for you, sir. [00:56:18] Speaker E: Thank you. [00:56:19] Speaker A: You're welcome. [00:56:20] Speaker D: I regret to share that artic means of or relating to the ear, like. [00:56:26] Speaker A: Oh, tolerance. [00:56:27] Speaker D: I think I was thinking of ontic. [00:56:32] Speaker B: Like ontological instead of. [00:56:34] Speaker D: Ontic is in ontology. Ontic is physical. Real or factual existence. So ex anticipated. [00:56:40] Speaker B: I'm glad you followed up on that. [00:56:42] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:56:42] Speaker D: Sorry. [00:56:43] Speaker C: Okay, thank you for the regretful information. [00:56:45] Speaker A: Yeah, I regret to inform you. [00:56:48] Speaker C: I regret to inform you. No, I always appreciate it. [00:56:51] Speaker A: You know, Mark would have put it on the wiki so you had to own up to it. There's no escaping it. [00:56:58] Speaker C: There's no escaping Mark Jessen. [00:57:04] Speaker D: Can we make that the podcast episode title? [00:57:06] Speaker A: There's no escaping Mark Jessen. [00:57:09] Speaker C: Yeah. Oh, yeah. [00:57:10] Speaker A: Put that in there. Yeah. Some gullies and green. I'll see what I can scrounge up for you, sir. Just give me a moment. And he leaves. So, yeah, you guys are in the lounge lounging about. [00:57:31] Speaker B: Being normal. [00:57:32] Speaker A: Alex, do you want to tell me what Gully's end green is? [00:57:35] Speaker E: I just made it up. [00:57:36] Speaker A: I know. What are you thinking about? [00:57:38] Speaker E: The green fairy. [00:57:40] Speaker A: Like absinthe. Okay, so it is a drink, a beverage. Yeah. [00:57:44] Speaker E: Yeah, but, I mean, it's up to you to. I mean, I didn't make anything else up. I was thinking about things that are licorice flavored. [00:57:51] Speaker A: Gross. [00:57:53] Speaker B: Yeah, totally gross. [00:57:54] Speaker C: So, kick. [00:57:58] Speaker D: Are you from Gully's end? [00:58:03] Speaker E: No. [00:58:05] Speaker D: But presumably you've traveled to Gully's end? [00:58:10] Speaker E: No, I just heard of it, and I've always wanted to try it. [00:58:14] Speaker D: Okay. Where are you from, if you don't mind me asking? [00:58:20] Speaker E: Insert word here. That is where he's from, which is the same place that mo is from. [00:58:26] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. [00:58:27] Speaker A: Bear toggle. Northern bear toggle, I guess maybe. Northern bear toggle. Nice to be like a cave. [00:58:35] Speaker E: No? [00:58:35] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:58:35] Speaker E: What is the. Yeah, I guess. But there was a town nearby. I can't remember where it was. [00:58:41] Speaker C: Norton. Yeah, originally Norton. Wow. [00:58:44] Speaker E: North. Yeah. So north of Norton. [00:58:48] Speaker D: Very cool. Very cool. [00:58:50] Speaker C: And your whole goal was to go to Gully's end? I applaud that decision. Will says as Valencia bejemin with pain in his eyes as he looks. Wait, was it your gold? [00:59:03] Speaker D: Wait, what is that in reference to? You just always wanted to try Gully's end green, right? [00:59:08] Speaker E: Yeah, no, I just. Yeah. [00:59:10] Speaker A: So. [00:59:11] Speaker C: Oh, I thought you were talking about. [00:59:16] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:59:17] Speaker D: Oh, okay, so you were. [00:59:19] Speaker E: Kik isn't pretending to know anything about Gully's end, except that they have this drink called green. [00:59:24] Speaker B: Oh, when you said, try gullies. Okay. All right. Funny. Typical confusion. Yeah, very on point. [00:59:34] Speaker E: It's not Kick's fault. [00:59:36] Speaker A: It's certainly not. Nothing is Kick's fault. Kick is not otic. [00:59:46] Speaker C: Kick. Sonic. What the fuck? [00:59:51] Speaker A: What is going on right now? [00:59:53] Speaker D: What is happening? [00:59:56] Speaker A: I love it, whatever it is, and. [00:59:59] Speaker B: We'Ll find out what happens next. [01:00:01] Speaker A: I'm trying to find that point at this time. Oh, my God. Holy shit. [01:00:06] Speaker D: Just kill off one of the characters. [01:00:08] Speaker C: The lights go out. [01:00:11] Speaker A: All right, so the guy went to look for Gully's end green. And while he's gone, Phileas returns, and he says, I am happy to inform you all that. Well, I'm sorry, Sean, and what the fuck's your. Sue. Sue. But the rest of you, your mourner's feast is. Is prepared. [01:00:41] Speaker B: And we all say hooray. [01:00:46] Speaker C: Come on, guys. Let's go eat. Yay. [01:00:49] Speaker A: I just eat lots of sad food. [01:00:52] Speaker D: And without bath whack. Here, that leaves all the more for. [01:00:55] Speaker C: The rest of us. [01:00:58] Speaker E: Kik looks around the room and then seems to accept the oversight that somehow he's invited. [01:01:05] Speaker A: Kik isn't invited. [01:01:07] Speaker D: Wait, would Kik be invited? [01:01:08] Speaker C: Oh, my God. No. He's nobody that is known. [01:01:15] Speaker D: It gets to stay here with Sean and Sue. [01:01:19] Speaker A: Well, sue and Shawn and kick, while you were not directly involved with the death of King Bathwat, I'm sure that you would find it within yourselves to feel the deep seated grief that comes with the loss of the leader of an entire land. So, of course, you, as guests of this ship, are as welcome, in addition to. [01:01:45] Speaker C: Oh, my God. So you changed the everybody, isn't it? [01:01:48] Speaker E: Closest friend, and now you have to keep track of two more npc's. [01:01:51] Speaker C: Yup. Poor eric. Oh, my God. [01:01:53] Speaker D: Honestly, I was thinking, like, we would probably be like, oh, no, they can. [01:01:57] Speaker C: Join us for this. Yeah. [01:01:58] Speaker B: Yeah, I was. [01:02:00] Speaker D: I'm sure that with sheemy's story, they feel like they knew bethwack themselves. [01:02:04] Speaker A: I wasn't counting on you guys being normal. I thought retcon was a much more. A much safer course of action. And so you all feel this disjointedness in your heads as you're like, wait, what actually just happened? There were two announcements that were just made at the same time. You got it. [01:02:32] Speaker C: You got it. [01:02:33] Speaker A: You got it. [01:02:33] Speaker B: Very nice. Very nice. [01:02:34] Speaker A: And you guys can figure out if that's canon by the time we meet. Next time on pork fried dice. [01:02:41] Speaker B: On pork fried diet. [01:02:42] Speaker C: Yay. Yay. [01:02:44] Speaker B: Mariners feast. [01:02:45] Speaker C: Morning feast. We'll chant on the way to the morning. Fists in the air. Amazing. What the fuck? [01:02:56] Speaker A: Oh, man. [01:02:57] Speaker E: Thank goodness someone died. I'm so hungry. [01:03:04] Speaker A: That voice is amazing. [01:03:05] Speaker C: I love that voice. [01:03:07] Speaker A: It sounds so good. [01:03:10] Speaker C: Hey, everyone, if you like what you hear, please consider leaving us a kind review wherever that sort of thing happens. Also, support us by sending us a tip on Ko fi. You can find all of our social media [email protected]. Thank you for listening and we'll see you next time.

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