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Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: You're listening to the show about zorning in the morning. It's pork fried dice.
I'm Eric and I'm the dungeon master.
[00:00:11] Speaker B: I'm Abby and I play Rafina.
[00:00:14] Speaker C: I'm Alex and I play Bapwax.
[00:00:17] Speaker D: I'm KT and I play will.
[00:00:20] Speaker E: I'm Adam and I play Roscoe.
[00:00:26] Speaker A: Hold on to your haversacks. Let's roll.
[00:00:32] Speaker D: Are you doing okay? Sure. Eric's not doing this. It's just a weird. What's. You know, it's back to school. Everything's. It's. Everything's enough.
[00:00:42] Speaker B: I know. September needs to end. I need to get through September.
[00:00:46] Speaker A: Wake me up.
[00:00:46] Speaker B: September is such an awkward. Exactly.
[00:00:51] Speaker E: Something before you go, are we doing evanescence?
[00:00:58] Speaker B: I was doing wake me up inside before you go go.
[00:01:02] Speaker A: Wake me up when September ends.
[00:01:04] Speaker D: That's what you were talking about? Yeah. I knew that one.
[00:01:06] Speaker E: Well, I think we.
[00:01:07] Speaker D: Everyone was singing.
[00:01:09] Speaker B: I can tell. We're in sync tonight, guys.
[00:01:12] Speaker A: No, that's. Bye. Bye. Bye. No.
[00:01:13] Speaker D: Yeah, I was gonna say no. We're the Backstreet boys. Yay.
I just saw a guy from. I don't know. I never was a fan of NSYNC or the Backstreet, so I don't really know their names. I know Justin Timberlake in NSYNC, but there's a guy that was in the Backstreet boys, and I just saw him with the Savannah bananas, which I want. Have you guys ever heard of the Savannah bananas?
[00:01:37] Speaker E: No.
[00:01:38] Speaker D: It's a baseball team in Savannah that doesn't play. They don't play regular baseball. They play Savannah banana baseball. It's like the Harlem Globetrotters, but for baseball, so it's much more interesting. Like, it's so cool. You should look at the rules and stuff. Like. And the whole point is, like, the owners keep it affordable for people and, like, they want everyone to have access to it. And, like. But these people, it's so funny. They, like, do all these, like, trending, like, viral dances and things like that. They're just. They're so cute. And he showed up and, like, did a backstreet Boys song. It was a backstreet's cute boys guy. He's very cute. Yeah. You guys should definitely look up the Savannah bananas, because, like, as much as I don't care about sports, like, I was like, I would. If Savannah bananas were around me, I would go to, like, all of their games. Absolutely.
It's like, yeah. Again, the Harlem Globetrotters. Like, it's different rules, but they're still essentially playing baseball. Pretty great. That's so cool.
[00:02:40] Speaker E: Fights.
[00:02:41] Speaker D: What'd you say? Are there fights?
[00:02:43] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:02:44] Speaker D: Yeah, probably all the time. They kill each other. It's actually collaboratorial. What did you say?
[00:02:50] Speaker A: It's UFC.
[00:02:51] Speaker D: Yeah, the guy from Backstreet boys died, like, right away. It was kind of crazy, but I'm surprised you guys haven't heard of that.
[00:03:01] Speaker A: You ever heard the term banana split? That's where it came from.
[00:03:03] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:03:03] Speaker D: Your sound is good.
[00:03:05] Speaker B: Okay, good. Yes, I've heard that term.
[00:03:10] Speaker A: Good.
[00:03:12] Speaker B: All right, good.
[00:03:14] Speaker A: All right, should I play this sound.
[00:03:16] Speaker D: We have, like, such high energy.
It's gonna be one of those ones where I'm like, where do I cut it?
[00:03:21] Speaker A: That's the right sound, right?
[00:03:23] Speaker D: Exactly.
Uh, and you never say anything.
You usually say plain Ashley.
[00:03:41] Speaker A: You could do it. Do an impression of me.
[00:03:46] Speaker B: Do an impression of Adam.
[00:03:51] Speaker D: I wish I could burp on command like you guys. I can't. It doesn't work.
[00:03:54] Speaker E: I wish I could work on command.
[00:04:00] Speaker D: Alex.
[00:04:02] Speaker C: Oh, nobody.
[00:04:03] Speaker A: Previously on Pork Fried Dice.
[00:04:06] Speaker C: Yeah, well, actually, now's probably the time to tell you that I sat down to write my recap, like, in 15 minutes, starting around 08:00 and I ended up doing a completely different homework assignment.
[00:04:19] Speaker D: What homework?
[00:04:20] Speaker C: I didn't end up writing a recap, but I wrote something else.
[00:04:23] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:04:23] Speaker C: And then I figure I can read that something else, and then I can tell you what I remember from last time.
[00:04:29] Speaker D: It's like it's a person. It's his personal diary.
[00:04:32] Speaker C: It's a. Yeah, it's my personal diary. This is how it goes. Goes? Fatback was dead to begin with. To play up the magical King myth. He runs and hides, he climbs up cliff sides, then finally buys the farm forthwith. Oh, and then I did another one for fun.
[00:04:50] Speaker A: That one wasn't for fun. That was for business.
[00:04:52] Speaker C: That was for all the. All the money. Here's another one.
[00:04:56] Speaker B: Ready?
[00:04:57] Speaker C: It has nothing to do with the recap, really. But I wrote it. I'll share it with you. Old Rondell was a barkeep from Trent who told us, beware where we went. Demon's leap ain't so nice once you get good and close. Beware. This is one horny gentleman.
[00:05:16] Speaker D: Oh, my gosh, that's great. And Roscoe slipped in there for a second, too.
[00:05:21] Speaker A: He did.
[00:05:22] Speaker C: He jumped into my head.
I was trying to. I totally ran out of time. I was. My first inspirational word was beigemin, and I didn't get that anywhere. And then I. And then I was. I kept thinking Zorn, but I didn't get that in, either.
So here's what I remember from last time. We. We fought the whole time with the horny gent.
And Rafina called lightning Moe did. Stabby, stabby. Batbuck mostly ran away. The demon did some, like, horrible stuff where he made this red aura or something.
And will did a lot of, like, transforming and talking and throwing eldritch blasts.
[00:06:08] Speaker A: It's a good guess.
[00:06:10] Speaker C: And Rafina healed us, and the half orc woman punched him, and Roscoe lit him up so that we could all hit him better.
And then the demon grabbed will and stuffed him inside his chest.
And Will was, like, getting hurt all the time.
And then bathrock appeared at the last moment and sorted the demon in the face. And weirdly, he died.
And then someone, I think it was Roscoe, said, now, like, now you should die. Now you should actually die. Get around to dying finally. And so it, like, fake hit bath back in the air, and he spun around and splatted on the ground.
And then Roscoe said, zorn, zorn. Except differently, probably.
[00:07:05] Speaker D: I think Roscoe had that idea to die because that lady was looking at us or something, right?
[00:07:12] Speaker C: Oh, that's right.
[00:07:12] Speaker A: She was there.
[00:07:14] Speaker D: Well, we were just worried because we had already done some kind of thing, and then this guy popped out, and then we obviously had to fight him again. I was like, now die. Now. Now die. Yeah, very smart.
[00:07:27] Speaker C: And then there was a tall, lizardful guy with tattered pants and a floppy hat.
[00:07:35] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:07:36] Speaker C: Walking down with a fishing pole and a raven that kept bugging him.
[00:07:40] Speaker B: A raven?
[00:07:42] Speaker D: A magpie.
[00:07:44] Speaker C: A magpie. Oh, it was a magpie.
[00:07:45] Speaker B: Magpie.
[00:07:45] Speaker C: I want to write that down.
[00:07:46] Speaker B: That's right, that's right.
[00:07:48] Speaker C: Magpie. Magpie. Will.
[00:07:51] Speaker D: And the only thing that I don't even. Cause we've had multiple vacations. We've had a long time in between, so I wanted to make. I wasn't sure what we actually said in the last session, but, like, because he's using the mask of disguise or whatever it is.
[00:08:07] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:08:07] Speaker D: And so we had to explain because, like, poor Alex didn't even know what the rules. We were just like, here's a disguise. You can just use this. But, like, whatever.
[00:08:16] Speaker A: It's illusory.
[00:08:17] Speaker D: It's illusory, right? Like, it's not. You can't touch it. So if he has, like, a big nose or whatever, you gotta be careful.
[00:08:23] Speaker B: We can't touch the nose.
[00:08:24] Speaker A: Yeah, try to apply an unguent to it.
[00:08:27] Speaker D: I don't think that will. I don't know.
[00:08:30] Speaker C: Yeah. So I'm gonna have a slightly, like, slightly stumpier nose until I manage to get a prosthetic.
[00:08:38] Speaker D: Oh, cool.
[00:08:38] Speaker C: And then I'll make. Then I'll get a nice alligator nose.
[00:08:41] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah. Nice. Okay.
[00:08:44] Speaker C: And so I caught that out.
[00:08:46] Speaker D: Um, yeah, yeah.
[00:08:48] Speaker C: And I. I know I had this description, like, he's got a, like, hooks in his shirt and.
[00:08:55] Speaker D: Yeah, you didn't say any of this on the podcast.
[00:08:57] Speaker C: Weird upside down dragon lure on the end.
[00:09:03] Speaker B: Upside down, like, bait?
[00:09:04] Speaker C: Yeah, upside down dragon. It's. It's the. The dragon is upside down. The lure is right side up.
Yeah. And other things, I'm sure. Uh, boring pants. That's what I said. He's wearing boring pants from the boring pants store.
[00:09:19] Speaker D: Yeah. And you said flowy things and pockets so that you could put fish in them when you catch a fish.
[00:09:24] Speaker C: He's got a fish pocket.
[00:09:25] Speaker D: You have a Gandalf ish hat made of straw.
[00:09:29] Speaker C: I don't know if it was straw.
[00:09:31] Speaker A: Or not straw because it's floppy.
[00:09:33] Speaker D: It could be.
[00:09:34] Speaker C: It could be straw. Can be, but it's definitely floppy.
[00:09:36] Speaker D: I thought he said straw last time. He might not have said it in that video that he sent. We're referring to a video he sent us about this, so just in case it's confusing for listeners, he told us the description not in the podcast, so we're trying to remember it.
[00:09:52] Speaker C: Baggy shirt, large buttons.
[00:09:54] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah, buttons. He was like. He liked the idea of buttons and sandals because you might have to walk in the water.
[00:10:02] Speaker C: Yep.
[00:10:03] Speaker D: And I think that's mostly it.
I think. Yep.
[00:10:07] Speaker C: He's walking in the water right now.
[00:10:09] Speaker D: Wow.
[00:10:10] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:10:10] Speaker B: You know, splish splash.
[00:10:12] Speaker C: Wow.
[00:10:13] Speaker A: Do we still have the walking in water? Yeah, I do. Here. Sounds like this.
[00:10:18] Speaker D: Can't hear it at all.
[00:10:19] Speaker A: It's very quiet. It is insanely quiet because it was supposed to be back.
[00:10:22] Speaker C: I thought you were going to hit the dogs falling through the windows button.
[00:10:31] Speaker D: This just makes me think of nat. Turn it off. This is what you had happen.
[00:10:38] Speaker A: That was Nat, too.
[00:10:39] Speaker B: Now it's all better.
[00:10:40] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
So.
[00:10:43] Speaker B: Okay, so remind me. So this fake bat whack is walking in water, and we are following in a close distance. What are we doing?
[00:10:55] Speaker D: You guys are, like, mourning. Roscoe and Rafina are putting on a show about bathwack being dead because there are bones, so we haven't finished that.
[00:11:05] Speaker B: Part of it yet.
[00:11:06] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:11:06] Speaker D: I think mo was there, too. Mo's there? Mo was there. I'm on the fishing pole. I'm on bath wax fish. Fishing pole.
I don't think we've seen sheami yet.
[00:11:17] Speaker A: Some of the town has come down.
[00:11:19] Speaker D: Yeah, there's a bunch of. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's people looking. People staring.
[00:11:23] Speaker A: People looking. People staring.
[00:11:27] Speaker E: Rafina.
Rafina.
[00:11:31] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. Hi. Hi. Roscoe.
[00:11:33] Speaker E: Sage one.
[00:11:35] Speaker D: Zorn.
[00:11:39] Speaker B: How was that?
[00:11:40] Speaker D: That's.
[00:11:40] Speaker E: That's what I'm talking about.
[00:11:42] Speaker B: Should I say it again?
[00:11:44] Speaker E: Yeah, keep going.
[00:11:47] Speaker A: What is Zorn?
Should I say it?
[00:11:51] Speaker E: Zorn? Yes.
[00:11:53] Speaker A: Try it out like like Grafina did.
[00:11:56] Speaker E: Or different to make it your own mo.
[00:11:59] Speaker A: Zorn. Zorn. Zorn. Zord. Zord. Zord.
[00:12:04] Speaker E: Okay. No, no, no. Do it the way Rafina did.
[00:12:10] Speaker A: Zorn.
Like that.
[00:12:14] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:12:14] Speaker B: You're breaking my heart now, now, do.
[00:12:17] Speaker E: You know what it means?
[00:12:18] Speaker A: Yes, Zorn.
[00:12:23] Speaker E: That's how it works.
[00:12:25] Speaker B: Whatever will we do now, Zorn?
[00:12:31] Speaker A: And, um, you guys see in the the crowd, some more people have been arriving. This is quite the. Quite the spectacle at this point. But you see the members of the Trent citizenship club.
[00:12:44] Speaker D: Oh, yeah. Oh, geez.
[00:12:47] Speaker A: Oh, geez. What?
[00:12:48] Speaker D: I just remember they were, like, fans of Bathwhack. They were like, oh, you're the king now. They're gonna revoke our room now.
Check us out.
[00:13:02] Speaker A: Wait, you guys were staying in those rooms? There was supposed to be six rooms for King Bathwax.
The leader, Letitia, comes up to you and says, what happened?
I guess to Roscoe and Rufina, because they.
[00:13:21] Speaker B: Did you see it? I can barely believe it. I saw with my own eyes.
[00:13:24] Speaker D: It was so.
[00:13:25] Speaker B: Did you see all the big demon. Did you see everything?
[00:13:29] Speaker A: Well, I mean, we were all approaching. I see it now. Just laying here on the ground. There was something going on. Yes, we saw it poke up over the cliffside. What's going on? Where's King Bathwack? You keep saying Zorn about him.
[00:13:45] Speaker B: He fell.
[00:13:47] Speaker E: He was incinerated. These are all that's left of him.
[00:13:52] Speaker A: No, no.
[00:13:55] Speaker E: Tries or.
[00:13:59] Speaker A: I don't believe it yet. I won't, Zorn, until I believe it.
[00:14:03] Speaker E: Okay, well, it'll be there waiting for.
[00:14:05] Speaker D: You when you're ready.
[00:14:09] Speaker A: And one of the members, I think he was introduced to you. He's kind of their. Their history buff. He is very focusedly inspecting the horned. The horny guy laying on the. On the beach.
By that, I mean Roscoe.
[00:14:34] Speaker E: Inspect away.
[00:14:37] Speaker D: Very horny.
[00:14:39] Speaker A: Oh, wait, sorry. I mean zorny.
[00:14:41] Speaker D: Very zorny.
[00:14:46] Speaker A: Such a Zorn dog.
No, he's looking at the horny guy.
The demon thing.
[00:14:54] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:14:54] Speaker A: He has, like, a notebook out, and he's, like, making notes, and he's like, looking at stuff. But she. The back to the leader. She's like. But no, it can't be. He couldn't have been.
[00:15:06] Speaker D: How.
[00:15:09] Speaker A: She looks down at the ground.
Soren.
[00:15:16] Speaker E: Yeah, yeah. Spread the wire, everybody.
[00:15:22] Speaker D: The wire.
[00:15:24] Speaker A: You got two boys in there. I think Adam's sick, by the way, so he's getting in what he can before he crashes.
[00:15:35] Speaker E: Spread the wires.
[00:15:39] Speaker B: Well, Roscoe, I think we need to start preparations for the rights of the king.
[00:15:47] Speaker E: Indeed.
[00:15:48] Speaker B: The king. The incinerated king.
[00:15:51] Speaker A: The rights of the king says, letitia. What is that?
[00:15:55] Speaker B: We must bring these bones to the bodies of his ancestors in the land of his people, the land we know, the end of the gully.
[00:16:12] Speaker A: So, like, he's gonna be, like, buried at home, like a lot of people are.
[00:16:16] Speaker D: Listen.
[00:16:21] Speaker B: Go back to Zarnag.
[00:16:22] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:16:27] Speaker E: Let us perform the ritualistic ceremonial procession whereby we carry the bones, the regal bones, true town.
And to the cruise ship.
[00:16:47] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[00:16:51] Speaker A: To the carnival deluxe.
[00:16:55] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[00:16:56] Speaker E: And fisherman.
Do you want to come with?
[00:17:03] Speaker C: I'm not even there.
I'm, like, mingling on the edge of the crowd and kind of wading into the water and looking out and trying to see if there's a good place to cast out the line, catch something small to eat or something.
[00:17:19] Speaker D: You're just hungry.
[00:17:20] Speaker C: Yeah, I mean, I. You know, I'm pretending to be interested and, you know, I looked at the. Looked at the bones and, like, you know, I saw something was happening, but I look at the demon, like. But I'm just kind of trying to stay on the edge of the crowd and just do. Do what I do, which is, at the moment, walk in the water and cast my fishing rod.
[00:17:43] Speaker B: Roscoe, do you have your owl bear pelt handy so that we can use it as a stretcher of sorts to carry the bones?
[00:17:55] Speaker E: That's a good idea.
[00:17:56] Speaker B: Why, thank you.
[00:17:59] Speaker E: Unless.
Did I bury it with sin?
[00:18:03] Speaker B: Oh, shoot, you might have.
[00:18:04] Speaker D: Dang it.
[00:18:05] Speaker E: I probably stole this other.
[00:18:07] Speaker D: Yeah, I know.
[00:18:07] Speaker B: I feel like you must have.
[00:18:09] Speaker D: Oh, this is so nice. Such a nice gesture. Let me just. Completely.
[00:18:14] Speaker A: He probably has some better ones in his room.
[00:18:16] Speaker D: Yeah, probably.
[00:18:18] Speaker B: He's not using them.
[00:18:19] Speaker E: I mean, yeah, we could use Albert Pelt as a stretcher.
[00:18:24] Speaker B: It feels much more appropriate.
[00:18:28] Speaker A: Who will bear him?
[00:18:30] Speaker B: Mo, would you pretty please bear him? You are so big and strong.
[00:18:34] Speaker E: Mo. You take a corner, I'll take a corner.
[00:18:39] Speaker B: I feel like the bones are going to bump and spill out if we all take corners. Is that going to happen?
I guess it was my idea for it to be a stretcher.
[00:18:48] Speaker A: You could, like, wrap it up like a hobo bindle.
[00:18:51] Speaker B: That's what I. That's immediately what I went to after I made the suggestion. And the guy with the fishing pole.
[00:18:58] Speaker A: He could use that as the stick.
[00:19:00] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
Hey, sir.
[00:19:04] Speaker A: Sir, wait.
[00:19:06] Speaker C: Sorry, I was too busy trying to think about what my name is.
[00:19:11] Speaker A: Yeah, you haven't had long to plan it. It's okay. You're forgiven.
[00:19:16] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[00:19:18] Speaker B: We're wondering if we can borrow that stick, that rod. For the bearing of the ceremonial bones for burial.
[00:19:29] Speaker C: What? Are you talking to me?
[00:19:31] Speaker B: Oh, I like the voice.
Would you mind assisting us?
[00:19:37] Speaker D: Okay, we just need to tie this.
[00:19:41] Speaker C: Over in the water. I'm trying to stay away from.
[00:19:43] Speaker B: You're definitely a pro at tying the knots. I can tell from the knots that are there in your pole.
[00:19:51] Speaker C: I look at the pole, which is really a fishing pole, like a stick, doesn't it? And I look at the bones.
[00:20:02] Speaker B: Little places where it has no.
[00:20:04] Speaker C: Which are, I guess, sizable bath whack bones.
[00:20:08] Speaker B: It's a naughty. It's a naughty. It's a naughty stick right.
[00:20:18] Speaker C: Here.
I hold the stick out to you.
[00:20:22] Speaker A: Oh, it's too tiny. Look how thin it is.
[00:20:25] Speaker C: I carefully take the, um. Take the dragon lure off and put it in my pocket.
[00:20:32] Speaker B: Is there still a crowd around us, or they've gotten bored?
[00:20:34] Speaker D: I.
[00:20:34] Speaker C: What? Wait, what'd you say? You don't think I have a pocket?
[00:20:38] Speaker D: You have a pocket. Well, if you. No, if your clothes are not. So this is the point I had been trying to make in the. So, again, listeners, we had a video exchange privately talking about the spell and, like, its capabilities.
We don't think that bathrock had time to change into actual clothes. He probably. What we probably did was buy these particular clothes. But what you're doing is casting an illusion that you are this other person. So you don't actually have the clothes on. As far as. I mean, like, do you think we had time?
[00:21:10] Speaker A: I don't think so.
[00:21:12] Speaker C: I'll hold it in my hand. I'm gonna try to be aware of this.
[00:21:16] Speaker B: But the stick is real.
[00:21:17] Speaker A: The stick is real.
[00:21:18] Speaker B: The rod is real.
[00:21:19] Speaker C: The stick is. The rod is real.
[00:21:21] Speaker D: You could potentially. I mean, I don't know if you would know this. Maybe it just makes sense that pathwack wouldn't know this, but, like, you could, you know, if you had your clothes positioned in the right place, you could put. You still have your clothes on. If you have a pocket, you could put it in a real pocket. It just has to. If you, like, put it in a pocket and you're reaching into something that doesn't make sense to be a pocket. It might be confusing, but since your clothes are loose, like, maybe it just works anyway.
[00:21:44] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah.
[00:21:45] Speaker B: Kind of slip it into your undies.
[00:21:46] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:21:48] Speaker C: Something. Something like this.
[00:21:49] Speaker A: But slip the lure into your underwear.
[00:21:53] Speaker C: That's right.
That's right. And then give it a yank to set the hook.
[00:21:59] Speaker A: He doesn't want to lose it.
[00:22:00] Speaker D: Give it a Yankee. If I. If will sees that he's having trouble with this lure, like, if he's having trouble, I could just grab it in my beak.
[00:22:10] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:22:10] Speaker C: No.
[00:22:11] Speaker D: Oh, you could see that and go and. Well, he doesn't.
[00:22:15] Speaker A: You could steal it.
[00:22:16] Speaker C: You could totally steal it.
[00:22:17] Speaker D: Well, okay. You want me to roll for as magnify?
[00:22:20] Speaker C: I'm not gonna give it to you.
[00:22:21] Speaker A: Like, that's why I said, do you.
[00:22:24] Speaker D: Want me to roll? Like, to just take it.
[00:22:25] Speaker A: You're gonna try.
[00:22:26] Speaker D: But it was more. I'm not, like, trying to steal it, but maybe I'm just so good at stealing stuff that I'm really good at taking it. I was just trying to help, not trying to actually feel it, but sure, I'm gonna roll. What do you want me to roll? It's my mouth, so I guess.
[00:22:38] Speaker A: So, yeah. You come down and try to take it without. You're not, like, trying to sneak it. You're just trying to help.
[00:22:43] Speaker D: I'm trying to help.
[00:22:44] Speaker A: And bath whack tries to pull it away from you, right? Is that what you're saying? Bathwack?
[00:22:50] Speaker C: Sorry.
I'm not going to try to keep. Well, I'm guessing I won't even notice that he's trying to take it because he's so fast. But I'm not. I'm not. I'm not, like, reaching up to give it to him. Right. But I'm also not. I'm not trying to, you know, I'm not paying attention. I'm just taking the lure off the end.
[00:23:10] Speaker D: So I'll be honest and say, like, the original intent was to. For will to be showing Bathwalk. Like, look, I'm right here. Like, for whatever reason. So I don't think he's really trying to sneak. He's just trying to be helpful. Maybe I'm naturally dexterous, and so I naturally try to steal it because I'm just a fucking thief. But however you want that to play out, Alex. Because I don't want to take something if you really don't want me to take it. It's just more like it was supposed to be cute, not aggressive, says will, but I'll fucking be aggressive. Here we go. What do you want me to roll? I need to be cute aggressively.
[00:23:48] Speaker C: No, it's fine. I just. You didn't really. You didn't talk to me, right? So.
[00:23:51] Speaker D: No, I didn't say any word. I just am be, like, I'm kind of liking this vibe of being a bird on a fisherman's shoulder or something like that, so I think it just makes sense.
[00:24:03] Speaker C: Wait, are you. Are you still sitting on my shoulder?
[00:24:05] Speaker D: Yeah, I think I had to if you handed the pole away. That's what I was on before. So I have to sit on your shoulder.
[00:24:11] Speaker C: Actually, I probably shouldn't do any magic right now because I think that'll. I'm not going to do anything.
[00:24:18] Speaker D: Okay, so for 30 minutes, we stand there and we try to decide what we're going to do, and then you're, Paul, do nothing. Because we're both like, I don't.
[00:24:25] Speaker C: No, no, no.
[00:24:26] Speaker D: Sorry.
[00:24:26] Speaker C: No, I was thinking. Remember I said last time, like, I. I wished. Because Will is probably still injured. I wish I'd healed him, but anyway, um. No, it's fine. Like, try to. Try to. Try to take it. I'm. I'm not doing anything to keep it from you.
[00:24:41] Speaker D: I guess I got a roll.
[00:24:42] Speaker A: All right, cool.
[00:24:43] Speaker D: Either way, I'm gonna be flapping against wherever you're trying to put it. Like, if you're trying to. Wherever you're trying to put it.
[00:24:48] Speaker A: I'm like, just a Dex check, I guess.
Nine. Dexterity. So, not very dextrous.
[00:24:58] Speaker D: Nope.
[00:24:59] Speaker A: So I guess. I don't know what your bonus is as a magpie.
[00:25:01] Speaker D: Oh, yeah. I don't know.
[00:25:02] Speaker A: Probably not better.
[00:25:04] Speaker D: Not better than myself.
[00:25:06] Speaker A: So, like, he's kind of slowish. Would you try to pull it away from him? Bath whack or.
[00:25:11] Speaker C: No, no.
[00:25:12] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:25:13] Speaker D: All right.
[00:25:14] Speaker A: There you go.
[00:25:15] Speaker B: Do you show signs of recognition of who it is?
Like, or are you completely expressionless?
[00:25:22] Speaker D: It's pathwack. He's completely expressionless.
[00:25:24] Speaker C: I mean, you were talking to me, right? You were talking to me as the.
[00:25:27] Speaker D: Magpie I had before.
[00:25:28] Speaker C: Yeah, you came to.
I know it's you.
[00:25:31] Speaker B: I'm just wondering if we will recognize that this relationship between the fisherman and the. And the bird is clearly to us.
[00:25:40] Speaker A: Give me an insight, wolf.
[00:25:42] Speaker D: Okay. I mean, also, like, I'm a bird and I look fancy. I look like I'm wearing a tuxedo. Cause I'm a magpie. Okay. So, like, that's obviously wears wig, and.
[00:25:51] Speaker A: The bird looks pissed.
[00:25:52] Speaker D: No, he's an angry bird sitting on.
[00:25:54] Speaker A: Baton's shoulder, pooping on him way more than a bird normally would.
[00:25:58] Speaker D: Stop it. I haven't pooped at all. No, never.
[00:26:03] Speaker B: Insight.
Uh oh. Did I roll with advantage or something?
[00:26:10] Speaker D: Oh, it's just good.
[00:26:11] Speaker B: I heard a million die 23.
[00:26:14] Speaker A: You probably heard wills die at the same time. If you haven't been clicking on it, it, like, rolls them all at once.
[00:26:19] Speaker D: Yeah.
Yeah.
[00:26:22] Speaker A: You think that's a pretty good chance that's will cool. It is.
[00:26:26] Speaker B: All right. I look at Roscoe, and my eyebrows waggle just a little bit.
[00:26:35] Speaker E: Roscoe waggles his back.
[00:26:37] Speaker B: Yep, not unlike the wings of this fluttering magpie trying to get the lure.
[00:26:43] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:26:44] Speaker B: Well, so is the crowd still around us?
[00:26:48] Speaker A: I mean, they're just around. I don't know that they're necessarily around you guys. The main, I think, attraction here is this fallen beast.
[00:26:56] Speaker B: Right?
[00:26:57] Speaker A: But I guess you guys have been zorning the death of a king, so that is kind of a draw as well. But once they're like, oh, it's dead, or, oh, he's dead, there's his bones. Like, what else is there to find out, right?
[00:27:09] Speaker B: Yeah. So I kind of want us to, like, go. So I wish I could talk to Roscoe in private. Let's see.
[00:27:18] Speaker D: Tiny hut.
[00:27:20] Speaker B: Tiny hut. Tiny hut. So if the crowd is sort of dispersing, we're going to start heading toward the cruise ship. I guess I'll look around. Which way to the cruise ship? Roscoe and Fisherman guy.
[00:27:39] Speaker E: I guess we head back the way we came.
[00:27:42] Speaker B: I don't remember which way that was. It was a very disorienting fight with a horned man.
[00:27:48] Speaker E: Away from the water.
[00:27:51] Speaker B: The ship is away from the water.
[00:27:54] Speaker E: Can we. How do we get back up there?
[00:27:56] Speaker A: Roscoe, didn't you take that path over there?
[00:27:59] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:28:00] Speaker B: Oh, good. Let's do it.
[00:28:03] Speaker E: Path.
[00:28:04] Speaker A: Word.
[00:28:05] Speaker E: Ho.
[00:28:07] Speaker B: But wait, that rhymes with king, bathwack, almost. Ho.
[00:28:12] Speaker A: So since this stick is too flimsy, I guess I just carry the pelt with the bones.
[00:28:16] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:28:17] Speaker B: Just don't drop them, please.
[00:28:20] Speaker C: Wait, so I get my stick back.
[00:28:23] Speaker B: Is the fisherman's name gonna be Zorn?
[00:28:26] Speaker C: No. That was good.
[00:28:28] Speaker D: Okay, he's asking for a skid stick. Stick back.
[00:28:31] Speaker A: Mo doesn't have it.
[00:28:32] Speaker D: Who has it?
[00:28:33] Speaker A: I think Rafina took it. Or Roscoe did.
[00:28:36] Speaker B: This is definitely not as naughty as I thought it was going to be. And I hand it back.
[00:28:42] Speaker C: Thanks.
[00:28:46] Speaker B: And what is your name, sir?
[00:28:49] Speaker C: Kick.
[00:28:51] Speaker B: I'm sorry, would you spell that for me, please kick.
[00:28:56] Speaker C: K I k. Oh, my brother's name is Kek.
[00:29:06] Speaker A: I know. Keck.
Keck mean blood.
[00:29:11] Speaker B: What does kick mean?
[00:29:13] Speaker A: I don't know.
[00:29:14] Speaker C: I don't know.
I don't know what it means.
[00:29:17] Speaker B: Means bile.
[00:29:20] Speaker A: Another humor. Interesting.
Okay, well, thanks for the not naughty stick. Kick.
[00:29:33] Speaker D: Kick.
[00:29:34] Speaker E: Stick.
[00:29:34] Speaker C: Sure.
[00:29:37] Speaker D: I'm gonna fly up above. Like, is the crowd.
Is it dispersing or, like, what's happening?
[00:29:43] Speaker A: They're not dispersing. They're just kind of all around.
[00:29:45] Speaker D: I want to fly around and see what the general vibe is. I know I did that last time, and then I got, like, almost killed. But I want to stay far away and see if I can hear anything about the vibe or if I can see shimi anywhere.
[00:29:57] Speaker A: Okay, if you want to find shimi. Perception, vibe, insight. Or I guess you could do both.
[00:30:04] Speaker D: Well, both. My first thought is just, like, is the crowd believing this? Like, what is happening? You know? Are people talking?
So that's the. Did you say insight?
[00:30:16] Speaker A: Uh huh.
[00:30:17] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:30:18] Speaker E: I'm hearing a lot of great buzz around that. Like, steph goes.
[00:30:24] Speaker D: Exactly. That's what.
[00:30:25] Speaker A: I'm twelve.
[00:30:27] Speaker D: Oh, my God. Come on.
[00:30:29] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, they're mostly interested in this dead, giant rock monster thing. Some people, though, seem to be maybe following along with this group as they're leaving with the bones of King Bathwak.
[00:30:42] Speaker B: Oh, really? Why? Weirdos.
[00:30:45] Speaker A: You just said you were gonna perform the rites. It's not every day you get to see rights.
[00:30:50] Speaker B: No, but we have to go all the way to Gully's ends to do the rites. No one wants to come with us for that.
[00:30:57] Speaker A: Uh, you don't see shimi?
[00:30:59] Speaker D: Oh, my God. Will has so much to say. He wants to, like, drum this up and, like, make people be talking.
[00:31:05] Speaker A: You did roll a natural 20 when it came to speaking as a magpie.
[00:31:09] Speaker D: Yeah, like, I'm a magpie and I'm bath wax magpie. I'm not a magpie. I'm not the town crier magpie. I'm not, like, far. All right, citizens, be more interested in the events over there.
I don't say anything. I'm just a magpie that's associated with his fishermen. Dang.
[00:31:34] Speaker E: Roscoe starts singing as the. As we walk.
Uh oh. Bathwac boy.
The pipes. The pipes are calling from over there all the way to over here.
You are dead now where once you were living.
And now we walk through Trent to say farewell.
[00:32:25] Speaker B: And then Rafina secretly casts thaumaturgy to make it sound like it's about to really really? Thunderstorm and rain in the hopes that everyone will run away.
Cool to shelter.
[00:32:41] Speaker C: Boom.
[00:32:43] Speaker E: Shake a shake a shake a shake?
[00:32:44] Speaker D: Crash. Shake, shake a shake a shake?
[00:32:48] Speaker B: Flash, flash, flash.
[00:32:50] Speaker A: All right. Yeah, everybody's looking up and.
Yeah, they're. They're quite a bit away, a ways away from town.
So you guys are processing up and you're. The path's kind of narrow, so you're kind of a bottleneck. So people are going to start crowding up behind you, trying to make their way back to Trent as well.
[00:33:12] Speaker B: I step aside so they can go first.
[00:33:15] Speaker E: Where are you stepping?
[00:33:17] Speaker A: The path is too narrow.
[00:33:19] Speaker E: I think they should stay behind us. I think that's processional.
[00:33:24] Speaker B: I need to get rid of them. All right, fine.
[00:33:28] Speaker E: Yeah. I missed what we needed that version for.
[00:33:31] Speaker A: Abby wants to talk. Rafina wants to talk in private.
I think other people want to make sure that this story is being sold.
[00:33:39] Speaker D: That's what will. But that's the thing. He's. He can't say anything. He's just himself or he's just this bird. And so he's kind of frustrated.
[00:33:46] Speaker A: Yep. I mean, you get to the top of the path, up to the top of the cliff, and then it's kind of open wide up. So, yeah, people can move around if you guys are going too slow and, you know. But the general crowd is heading back. There's some stragglers who are staying behind to keep checking out this quite a strange thing that has appeared on out of the cliffs of their town. Yeah. You guys start heading back down the hill toward Trent, I believe.
Is kick going with them? Where's kick?
[00:34:17] Speaker C: That's a good question.
They don't have any of my things anymore, so I guess I'm going to wander down toward the.
Near the docks and keep to myself for a while.
[00:34:34] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:34:35] Speaker E: Yeah. Rascoe totally got the vibe that bathwag wanted to take advantage of this.
This new identity.
[00:34:45] Speaker D: He just leaves us permanently.
[00:34:48] Speaker C: No, I think it's a cool thing. No, I just feel like if I suddenly glom onto the group, it's going to be just totally obvious that. Yeah, but I know outside the game, I don't plan on just sitting it out and going down to the engine room of the ship and just curling up in a corner.
[00:35:11] Speaker D: If he's. If I can tell he's just going off from everyone else. Will has to stay where the action is. So I think he's going to fly off somewhere and just change into something that is any other person, just a random figure and try to follow the group, like, as part of the crowd.
[00:35:32] Speaker A: Okay, cool.
Do you want to describe what you look like, or does it not matter?
[00:35:39] Speaker D: It doesn't matter. It's like he just tries to look. Nothing.
[00:35:42] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:35:43] Speaker D: But none of the identities he's ever had. He wants to. He also is worried about being a part of the group. Like, he's. He. What he wants to do is be Valencia Bejemin, but he has no idea what she means. Status is, chimi is still Valencia Bejemin, so he can't do anything yet.
[00:36:00] Speaker A: All right, so, yeah, you guys are making your way back to Trent about halfway between Demon's leap, or previously demon's leap, and the town gates, which were brought crashing down by you guys just a few moments before. The very recognizable figure of Captain Malvolio Paisley is seen striding up the hill toward you guys. And just the general group as well. There's some people that have gone ahead, and he's kind of pushing his way through. He's like, is that. Is that you, Rufina? Rufina.
[00:36:37] Speaker D: Zar. Oh, no.
[00:36:39] Speaker A: Rufina, are you all right?
[00:36:42] Speaker B: There was an epic battle.
[00:36:44] Speaker A: I heard. I heard. I could see someone from my ship. I hurried as fast as I could. I thought you might be involved.
[00:36:51] Speaker B: I wouldn't say I was involved. I just tried to help.
[00:36:55] Speaker A: Oh, I'm sure you did.
[00:36:57] Speaker B: Batwack is dead.
[00:36:59] Speaker A: What?
[00:37:01] Speaker B: We must take his bones to his. To the burial yards of his ancestors.
[00:37:10] Speaker A: Starts beating his chest.
[00:37:12] Speaker D: Wow.
Wow.
[00:37:16] Speaker E: I'm so proud.
[00:37:23] Speaker B: Shaping cultures this way, man.
We need to get to gully's end. Dear Captain Malvolio, whatever you need.
[00:37:35] Speaker A: My ship is still festooned in the appropriate garb for such a trip.
[00:37:42] Speaker B: Sad to say. How convenient that is. But it is convenient. Is it all right if you were to drop us off there?
[00:37:51] Speaker A: Well, yes, I believe that's where you were going to go initially. Correct, Zorn.
It's like a get out of jail free card in any conversation.
[00:38:08] Speaker D: Now, at this point, I'm going to.
[00:38:10] Speaker A: Use that in my real life.
[00:38:12] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:38:14] Speaker A: At work, I'm going to use it.
[00:38:15] Speaker D: Yeah. In the middle of a call with some annoying person so hard.
[00:38:20] Speaker A: How much is this plan going to cost me, Zord?
Well, yes, please come. And.
But also you. Did you save the town from whatever this beast was? I keep hearing about this monstrosity.
[00:38:41] Speaker B: It was not. It was a group effort, and it was so long ago in minutes that I can barely tell you exactly how it happens. But, yes, the creature is dead. Did you even know it was there?
[00:38:54] Speaker D: Now I am angry.
[00:38:56] Speaker B: Did you know it was there?
[00:38:58] Speaker A: No. What? What was it?
[00:39:00] Speaker B: It was a demon.
[00:39:02] Speaker A: A demon? Where? At demon's leap.
[00:39:05] Speaker B: Demon's leap?
[00:39:06] Speaker D: Yes.
Yes. Who the thunk it?
[00:39:11] Speaker A: I. No, I was not aware of any such thing.
I would have, of course, warned you.
[00:39:19] Speaker B: I know. I know you would have. Thank you, dear captain.
[00:39:24] Speaker A: But you defeated it. Rafina, you're a. You're a hero.
[00:39:27] Speaker B: You've saved. It wasn't me. No, no. I've seen the way you handle yourself.
[00:39:33] Speaker A: Don't be modest.
[00:39:37] Speaker D: I'm gonna pull like an Eric idol. I look like an Eric idol character. That's who I look.
[00:39:41] Speaker B: Oh, nice.
[00:39:42] Speaker D: I'm just, like. I think that Bathwalk had a lot to do with it, too.
Just. And I look really sad and scared. I can't tell whether I'm supposed to be scared of the captain, but, like, I'm sorry for interrupting.
[00:39:54] Speaker B: And now he's dead.
Long live the king.
[00:39:58] Speaker A: But he's dead.
[00:40:13] Speaker D: Hey, everyone, if you like what you hear, please consider leaving us a kind review wherever that sort of thing happens. Also, support us by sending us a tip on ko fi. You can find all of our social media [email protected]. Thank you for listening, and we'll see you next time.
