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Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: You're listening to the show about a lobster coal. It's pork fried dice.
I'm Eric, and I'm the dungeon master.
[00:00:11] Speaker B: I'm Abby, and I play Rufina.
[00:00:14] Speaker A: I'm Alex and I play bapwack.
[00:00:17] Speaker C: I'm KT and I play will.
[00:00:20] Speaker D: I'm Adam, and I play Roscoe.
[00:00:25] Speaker A: Hold on to your haversacks. Let's roll.
[00:00:32] Speaker B: All right, take in this first slide for context.
[00:00:35] Speaker A: Okay. Devour it.
[00:00:39] Speaker C: Horns.
[00:00:40] Speaker D: Horns.
[00:00:40] Speaker C: Corns. Not corns. Corn ital.
[00:00:43] Speaker A: Corny.
[00:00:43] Speaker C: Oh, corny. Oh, I thought that was an exclamation point.
[00:00:47] Speaker A: Oops.
[00:00:47] Speaker C: I guess I can't. Well, corn. Italy.
All right.
[00:00:52] Speaker B: And if this doesn't work, then I'm gonna have to say stop. If I press the next slide and it doesn't work.
[00:00:57] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:00:58] Speaker B: But I think it did last time.
[00:00:59] Speaker A: So I think it's cool. Previously on Pork Fried Dice.
[00:01:04] Speaker C: I thought you were gonna start singing about corns or something.
[00:01:06] Speaker E: Corn.
Rufina is mad about slaying. A bystander mournfully crying to be put away. And Will is a crab, and a lady has punched in. My plans are not working. It's a bad day.
Remember Roscoe, who has the big bones in his unreal's back? The crab climbs, building to look like he's chasing Beth. Whack. No one's to convey Rufina away, but Rufina is boneless and she flops.
But mom won't stop Rufina. He grabs there under the crab. That lady runs fast.
She puts her hand out on Rafina's hand and tells her that she is absolved. Roscoe asks her, are you trying to help my friend?
I'll do whatever I. I'll do whatever I can do. Help this town.
We are on the same side. Roscoe pretend punches the crab, who throws the lady again.
Roscoe kiss. Pomp. And on her she goes, wherever he stands. Aerodynamic Ruffian. And has regained her spirit. She urges her friend Moe to step on the gas. The crap breaks the kid down and turns to Willock and sends out complains.
[00:02:21] Speaker B: To us by a brain text.
[00:02:22] Speaker D: Jesus Christ. The syncopation.
[00:02:25] Speaker E: Syncopation.
[00:02:28] Speaker C: I can't.
[00:02:29] Speaker E: What went wrong? You were supposed to crowd control this thing. Why are there so many idioms moving around?
Magic mistlet, spirit guardian. Eldritch blast. Will's favorite all over the place.
Some stabbing shadows. Giant rufina.
Giant Rufina. Bloody, blinded. Probably now is dead.
One more victim.
Oh, well, now we're at the horse bath. Back is warming up, hovering briefly to test out his boots. It's time for a spectacle. Bath back cast. Daylight and tremors and sparkles and lights are afoot.
We'll shoot sim with eldritch. Flash. Time for the final scene. It's gonna work out just fine. The tremors don't stop in red. Lights are glowing. It shivers down everyone's spine.
The horns are not part of the cliff.
[00:03:32] Speaker B: A gaping hole opens below.
[00:03:34] Speaker E: And now we are going to die. We're dead.
Oh, my God.
[00:03:41] Speaker C: Oh, fuck.
[00:03:42] Speaker E: That's so good.
[00:03:44] Speaker C: I want to have that on a CD to listen to as I drag.
[00:03:48] Speaker E: My children to school.
[00:03:49] Speaker C: Like, people hear this fancy music coming out the window, and it's this.
[00:03:53] Speaker A: Only Moydon could have heard that.
[00:04:00] Speaker D: Stink. A patient.
[00:04:02] Speaker C: That's incredible. Oh, my God. Like, I genuinely just want to listen to it again. That was incredible.
[00:04:11] Speaker B: Thank you. Because they were horns, and I had horns on the brain. I'm like, oh, let's do a horn concerto, which Alex may have played.
[00:04:20] Speaker F: I have.
If I play music, that instrument.
[00:04:27] Speaker C: Gives so much away. No, it's gonna be impossible to edit out.
[00:04:32] Speaker A: Oh, you can leave it.
[00:04:38] Speaker D: Well done, Abby.
[00:04:39] Speaker C: Oh, my God. That was incredible.
[00:04:42] Speaker D: My other game of music league, the last one of the last categories we had was fucking. So, like, songs to fuck to.
[00:04:51] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:04:51] Speaker D: And by that point, I was already definitely going to lose, so I didn't give a shit. But I put in. I submitted a song that I legitimately have, like, when I've heard it, and I heard it in the movie the social network, and then, like, I, like, found it and would replay it.
[00:05:09] Speaker A: Like.
[00:05:09] Speaker D: Like, it is sexual to me. I submitted in the hall of the Mountain King by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross from the social network.
And, like, my friend Jordan, like, in our chat, was like, I really do not like knowing that one of us has fucked to this song.
And I was like, excuse me, Jordan. I've only fantasized about being fucked to the song, fucking to it. And he was like, all right, well, okay, I take it.
I'm still not gonna vote. But now all my straight guy friends know that I've fantasized about this, like, increasingly violent, like, pounding in the hall.
[00:06:00] Speaker A: Of the Mountain king.
[00:06:04] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
[00:06:05] Speaker D: Link to that song.
[00:06:06] Speaker C: That's amazing.
[00:06:07] Speaker D: Link to that song. Mark.
[00:06:09] Speaker A: It'll be on the music of pork fried dice page.
[00:06:12] Speaker C: Yeah, I guess it will.
[00:06:14] Speaker D: What?
[00:06:15] Speaker C: I said, I guess it will.
[00:06:16] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:06:17] Speaker C: I can't hear you. You can't hear me? Remove one ear. No, we can hear, babe.
Headphones.
[00:06:24] Speaker D: Headphones.
[00:06:26] Speaker B: I don't know why I'm joining him with that.
[00:06:28] Speaker C: We could hear that.
[00:06:29] Speaker A: We don't monitor because it drives kt insane.
[00:06:33] Speaker C: Oh, no.
[00:06:35] Speaker D: Just have. Just have one pair of headphones connected to. Oh, no, two.
[00:06:42] Speaker C: So we do. This is. We have a giant pair of headphones. Come over here.
[00:06:45] Speaker D: I miss. I misspoke.
Two pairs of headphones connected to a headphone splitter.
[00:06:53] Speaker A: We do.
[00:06:54] Speaker D: And then.
[00:06:54] Speaker C: Yeah, we do. But the thing is, like, it's just my headphones are.
[00:06:58] Speaker B: Oh, okay, you do mean a giant pair of hot headphones.
[00:07:01] Speaker D: I guess I do.
Why is this so confusing for me? Okay, melt. Melt your heads together.
[00:07:08] Speaker C: Yeah, that's what I was trying to kind of do. It was like the thinging myself to him didn't work.
[00:07:14] Speaker A: We need one of those big horns.
[00:07:17] Speaker F: Two minutes and 23 seconds long in the hall.
[00:07:20] Speaker D: The mountain ping.
[00:07:22] Speaker A: That's what the repeat is for.
[00:07:24] Speaker D: That's all you need.
[00:07:25] Speaker B: That's going for quantity. We're not going for quantity. We're going for quality.
[00:07:29] Speaker D: Okay, I've had to correct multiple guys. Like, look, I don't need you to. To last. This is fine. Two and a half minutes. Like, let's get this over with.
[00:07:42] Speaker A: Then let me show you the first season of Everwood, then let's.
[00:07:46] Speaker D: Yeah, that's Everwood. You don't need to be Everwood. I've got Everwood.
[00:07:51] Speaker C: Wow, that's romantic.
[00:08:02] Speaker E: Yay.
[00:08:03] Speaker A: What are we doing?
[00:08:04] Speaker C: We're playing our game. This is how we play.
Yeah. What is this? Oh, there's a devil guy coming. You drew this? Is this.
[00:08:11] Speaker A: No, I kind of drew it.
[00:08:13] Speaker D: Oh, we're gonna make a new friend. I can't wait to meet this NPC.
[00:08:19] Speaker F: Yeah, he's gonna join our party, right?
[00:08:21] Speaker B: I told you it was gonna be a demon. I told you that we were supposed to take it literally.
[00:08:26] Speaker F: That is what you said.
[00:08:30] Speaker C: That's why he was all worried. He tried to, and nothing happened.
[00:08:34] Speaker D: One of the horns.
[00:08:36] Speaker C: Why did I just pull on the.
[00:08:38] Speaker A: Horn to the tune of in the hall of the mountain king jerk off the horn.
[00:08:47] Speaker D: This devil would probably be totally chill if he just said come recently. Yeah.
[00:08:53] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:08:54] Speaker A: Well, maybe that'll happen as part of the fight.
[00:09:00] Speaker D: In his D and D improv.
[00:09:03] Speaker C: Slot machine.
[00:09:05] Speaker D: Giant demon ejaculate.
[00:09:07] Speaker C: Giant demon ejaculate.
[00:09:11] Speaker A: All right, so I am going to start by asking everyone to roll initiative again.
[00:09:19] Speaker C: Okay?
Bathwalk. You're just a fisherman. You don't have any score.
[00:09:26] Speaker F: I'm still falling, as far as I can tell.
[00:09:28] Speaker C: Yeah, I think I'm hiding behind a tree. I don't really. I think that's where I am.
Initiative.
[00:09:35] Speaker F: There is also. I don't know if this is all that important or not, but I used a ton of spell slots during our fake fight.
[00:09:45] Speaker D: Yeah, I used.
[00:09:46] Speaker F: And I got the crap kicked out of me by will.
[00:09:49] Speaker A: Nobody does very well.
[00:09:50] Speaker B: Rafina is very mad.
[00:09:52] Speaker C: Well, we didn't know. I mean, Rafina also didn't investigate Rafina. I investigated.
Nobody went with me. That's why I could have flown over here. I know.
[00:10:01] Speaker B: We've reached the blame stage of our even playing.
[00:10:06] Speaker C: Yeah.
Practice out ways to blame each other.
Okay.
[00:10:12] Speaker E: Oh, back.
[00:10:13] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:10:15] Speaker C: Spanakopita one.
This is gonna be very interesting. Maybe it's just a head, though. Look at that. It just kind of looks like a little head perched on a.
[00:10:26] Speaker F: Just stuck there.
[00:10:28] Speaker A: Although the way.
[00:10:29] Speaker F: Although the way. So the way it actually looks to me, though, when I opened it up, I thought it looked like a vampire with wings extended, flying.
That's what it looked like to me a little bit, because you can. Yeah. Anyway, like, its wings are the coastline that changes everything. Huge.
[00:10:49] Speaker A: That's easy.
[00:10:50] Speaker C: More. Yeah. That's insane. Yeah, that's scary. Do you see what he's talking about? Look. This and all of that.
[00:10:57] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:10:58] Speaker C: I thought he was talking about this and that, but he's talking about all.
[00:11:00] Speaker A: This and all of that.
[00:11:01] Speaker C: That's too big. Alex, stop it.
[00:11:04] Speaker F: Yeah.
[00:11:07] Speaker C: Plus, it's coming at us in the real world. It's not even looking at our characters. It's looking right at me.
[00:11:14] Speaker A: So, yeah, in terms of where everybody is. So will had gone off into, like, this little wooded area after disappearing into the orb of light the bathwick had cast, I think. Bathwick, you had made it down because you had said you were gonna snuff out the lights.
[00:11:33] Speaker F: Oh.
[00:11:34] Speaker A: When I hit the water around when you would be there. So, I mean, you are flying, so you're not.
[00:11:40] Speaker F: Yeah. So I'd be hovering just above the water.
[00:11:43] Speaker A: Yeah. And then Roscoe was waiting over towards the. Up is north on this map, towards the west. Like, kind of near the path, which isn't on this map, but it's kind of that way down the road.
And then I couldn't remember where Ruffina and Mo were. I have them kind of just on the road.
[00:12:06] Speaker B: Yeah. We were just sort of supporting the action without our location being all that important or interesting. So we didn't talk about it.
[00:12:16] Speaker A: So, yeah, basically, am I first?
[00:12:18] Speaker B: Gosh darn it.
[00:12:19] Speaker A: Yeah, of course you are.
So the people up on top, you just see kind of the horns shift and pull out away from the cliff, and they're pulsating with these bright red lines of energy or force or something like that.
Bath whack below, you can see the full figure emerging from the cliff. So it seems to be facing you. It has these glowing red eyes and this bright red, orange, glowing mouth that has opened up, but it's separating its entire body away from the cliff. Its feet are basically standing where you are. Its arms are being wrenched out of the wall. Rock is flying everywhere.
In its chest, there's this glowing. It's the same color as within its mouth. It looks like this glowing cavity, which seems to be sort of behind these crisscrossed rock lines.
And then at each of its sort of joints, there's a ball of glowing white energy, like, at its shoulder, its elbows, its knees, its ankles.
But the figure is vaguely humanoid.
[00:13:47] Speaker F: Okay.
[00:13:48] Speaker A: I mean, I guess it is. It is humanoid, but, yes, it's large. It's the height of the cliff.
[00:13:54] Speaker C: Yay.
[00:13:56] Speaker D: I have an idea.
I have an idea. Guys, can we pay this thing vouchers? Not to be a dick?
[00:14:07] Speaker C: They said they work for everything, so.
[00:14:11] Speaker B: Look, I have one that says. Oh, wait, I forgot. I keep thinking that they're coupons that.
[00:14:16] Speaker A: Are labeled specific, like, one free back rub or whatever. Yeah.
[00:14:19] Speaker B: It says, one demon not to act like a dick.
[00:14:28] Speaker A: So, yeah. Rafina with a 16, you are first in the initiative order.
Like I said, from your perspective, these rock things are just pulled away from the cliff, and the ground is shaking beneath you. So something's going on.
[00:14:44] Speaker B: Yeah, other than that, I don't hear anything else. I don't hear bathwack yelling or anything.
[00:14:50] Speaker F: I know. Yelling.
[00:14:51] Speaker B: Oh, that's true.
[00:14:52] Speaker A: You hear, like, rock.
Like, I was so wonderfully foleying before.
[00:14:59] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:15:00] Speaker A: Something's going on.
[00:15:03] Speaker B: Well, it feels foolhardy to react with a serious spell until I know what we've got here, and I don't really know what we've got here.
[00:15:17] Speaker A: So, on the map, by the way, the red box that shows, like, the space it takes up on the map, basically.
[00:15:25] Speaker B: Okay, got it, got it.
[00:15:27] Speaker F: Oh, it's right next to me.
[00:15:28] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:15:28] Speaker B: So, no, it's obviously something bad, but again, I don't even know. Like, I know there are horns, but you don't know.
[00:15:36] Speaker C: Yeah, you don't know.
[00:15:37] Speaker B: I don't know.
[00:15:38] Speaker C: You're good.
[00:15:39] Speaker B: I. Yeah, it's.
[00:15:40] Speaker C: You don't have to, like, reach out and kill everything right away if you don't want to. Don't feel bad.
[00:15:47] Speaker F: It's gonna be some good corn demon.
Raise his arms and just the ears of corn are fitness just gonna. He's gonna feed everybody close. Right, Eric?
[00:16:00] Speaker A: Right? Yeah.
[00:16:01] Speaker C: One of the three sisters, Rafina is so brave. She just moved like right to the end of the glyph.
[00:16:06] Speaker B: Yeah, I moved as far as I could so that I can probably see.
[00:16:11] Speaker F: Feet away from it's.
[00:16:15] Speaker B: Can I see from here? Oh, wait, Alex is talking. We have the same problem. We also need a giant pair of headphones.
So, Eric, are you confirming that now? I can see better?
[00:16:27] Speaker A: You would have to be. To be able to see better. What's going on?
You would have to be like right at the edge of the cliff or maybe like over to the side more and at the edge.
[00:16:40] Speaker B: May I reconsider my movement?
[00:16:41] Speaker A: You may.
[00:16:42] Speaker B: And I can go like five, like, can I go like here?
[00:16:46] Speaker A: You can move up to five squares. Yeah.
[00:16:49] Speaker B: So that and diagonals.
[00:16:51] Speaker A: Okay, so, yeah. All right, so, so, yeah, you're kind of peering over the edge of the cliff there and. Yeah, you start to. There's this figure. Now you can start to see. It's extricating itself from the wall.
[00:17:03] Speaker B: Is it looking up?
[00:17:04] Speaker A: It's looking straight ahead, like out over the. It's facing away from the cliff because.
So, like out over the bay and you can see Batwhack way down there below.
[00:17:17] Speaker B: Is Batwack looking at me?
[00:17:19] Speaker A: I doubt it.
[00:17:21] Speaker F: No.
[00:17:22] Speaker B: Okay, well, I've moved so I can.
[00:17:26] Speaker F: Looking right into this thing.
[00:17:28] Speaker A: You can.
[00:17:29] Speaker F: Giant open mouth.
[00:17:30] Speaker B: Yeah.
Gaping maw. All right, so at this point I am going to do the things that I do.
I'm going to call lightning.
[00:17:42] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:17:45] Speaker B: I'm going to cast it at level six because I'm not going to use that dumbled spell this time.
[00:17:52] Speaker D: All right.
[00:17:54] Speaker B: Do I need to throw anything at each creature within 5ft of the point?
[00:17:59] Speaker A: All right, so I need to know, you need to say where the storm is centered. It's huge. It's a 60 foot radius, which is 15. It's the size of this map, basically is the circle.
[00:18:13] Speaker B: Oh, damn it. Okay, but it doesn't mean it's lightning bolt.
[00:18:17] Speaker A: Yes. You call it down within that radius on a specific point and then it's 5ft from that point.
[00:18:26] Speaker B: Okay, so I'm gonna make him mad and probably die immediately, but I am gonna zap him.
[00:18:32] Speaker A: Cool.
[00:18:33] Speaker B: So do it.
[00:18:36] Speaker A: Alright, so you want the point basically, like on its head.
[00:18:39] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:18:40] Speaker A: Okay, so there's your call. Lightning circle.
Okay, so the figure has to make a deck saving throw. So what is your spell save? DC 16. Okay, it fails. Unless bathwhat considers it its ally. Its ally.
All right, so now you need to roll damage. So, normally it would be three d ten, but since you cast at level six, its six d ten. Lightning damage?
[00:19:19] Speaker B: You betcha.
[00:19:20] Speaker C: Hell, yeah.
[00:19:22] Speaker B: Six.
Roll.
[00:19:32] Speaker A: Ooh. You rolled two tens. A 4862. That's pretty good. That is 40. So that is 40 lightning damage to this stone beast.
Ooh.
[00:19:45] Speaker B: You gave something away.
[00:19:46] Speaker F: You're insane.
Now it's gonna turn around.
[00:19:51] Speaker A: Uh oh.
All right, so it looks like the way that the bolts have struck this, and, like, the way that rock is flying off, you think it probably has some resistance to lightning.
[00:20:09] Speaker B: Figures.
[00:20:10] Speaker A: It still hurt it, but probably as effectively as you thought it might have.
[00:20:17] Speaker B: Right.
[00:20:17] Speaker A: All right, and now this lightning will continue for as long as you can. Keep concentration, which you have to save if you take damage. Or it will go away if you cast another spell with concentration.
[00:20:31] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:20:32] Speaker A: All right, so we've got Mo.
And mo shouts.
[00:20:41] Speaker C: What is it?
I'm not there.
[00:20:47] Speaker A: No one answers him.
[00:20:48] Speaker C: Where is Mo? Who is mo talking to? That's right.
[00:20:51] Speaker B: I'm the only one who can answer.
[00:20:53] Speaker C: Okay, sorry. Mo might be close enough to Rafina.
[00:20:56] Speaker A: Yeah. You hear him say that the storm.
[00:20:58] Speaker B: It's a horn man. It's a demon thing.
It's a big giant.
[00:21:04] Speaker A: You said horn man, and then he immediately started running towards it.
[00:21:10] Speaker C: It's a horn man. And mo goes to kill him.
[00:21:13] Speaker B: I mean, like, what would I have said that would have made mo run the other way? It's a marshmallow.
[00:21:19] Speaker A: And he. And he leaps. And the demon is close enough to the edge of the cliff that he's able to just basically step onto his head.
[00:21:26] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh.
[00:21:27] Speaker A: And then he's gonna try to stab him a lot.
[00:21:29] Speaker B: Mo has, like, one hit point, though.
[00:21:31] Speaker A: Moe, I got it.
[00:21:34] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. With your knife. Good job.
[00:21:37] Speaker B: Stab, stab, stab.
[00:21:39] Speaker C: Chisel, chisel, chisel.
[00:21:43] Speaker A: It is a miss. A miss and a hit.
Okay.
And, yeah, he gouges his knife into some of those red lines on one of the horns. And these bright red sparks fly as the knife digs down deep in there.
And he's along for the ride. Roscoe, you've seen mo jump onto the head of this thing. There's a storm roiling above that. Rufina seems to be in control of. A bolt of lightning came down. You don't know where will is, and you assume Bathwack is down below somewhere. What are you doing?
[00:22:28] Speaker D: I guess I can't see whether this thing is armed.
[00:22:34] Speaker A: You from where you are, you can't see.
[00:22:41] Speaker D: You cut out my burps, Katie.
[00:22:43] Speaker C: I didn't even hear it. I think there's some cutting them out.
[00:22:46] Speaker B: Oh, that one was definitely.
[00:22:49] Speaker A: You have to keep that one in, though.
[00:22:53] Speaker F: Control c. Control v. Control v. Control v. Control voice.
[00:23:03] Speaker D: This is kind of scary.
[00:23:05] Speaker C: Yeah.
We don't even know what it wants or what it's going to do or anything. Like, we know nothing.
[00:23:11] Speaker F: But we're already attacking it.
[00:23:15] Speaker D: Yeah, we are.
[00:23:22] Speaker A: They are.
[00:23:22] Speaker C: Geez. They are.
[00:23:26] Speaker A: You guys could just leave at this point.
[00:23:27] Speaker C: I am think I am panicking right now because I don't even know. I'm trying to think of what I'm going to do, what I'm gonna do.
[00:23:34] Speaker D: With Mo being on top of it.
Jeez. I was going to.
Well, Mo can take care of himself, sure, but I was gonna try to cast puppet on it, but puppet doesn't do any damage. And I was gonna have it just walk into the sea, see if I can just keep doing that.
But I don't. I don't think I'm going to do that. I think.
I think maybe I'll have Roscoe.
[00:24:11] Speaker A: I don't.
[00:24:12] Speaker D: I'm not meta gaming, but. What did you say? Rufina noticed that it has a resistance to lightning.
[00:24:18] Speaker B: Lightning?
[00:24:20] Speaker D: Does that include thunder?
[00:24:22] Speaker F: But you. But I guess you probably didn't see it, right?
[00:24:24] Speaker C: Those are different kinds of damage.
[00:24:26] Speaker D: It is different thunder damage. Okay.
[00:24:28] Speaker C: And also, I don't even think you'd necessarily be metagaming.
You watched her cast the spell. I mean, did Rufina, like, sense that information, or did it look as though the spell didn't really have much effect?
[00:24:43] Speaker A: It would have been visible. I don't know if he would have necessarily been able to see it, but maybe. But it. Regardless, it's. The point is moot.
[00:24:51] Speaker C: You're moot. Moot.
[00:24:54] Speaker B: The opinion of the cow.
[00:24:55] Speaker C: It's like a cow.
[00:24:57] Speaker F: Oh, Abby and I were worried about the question. Where is clock face right now?
[00:25:04] Speaker B: We were worried.
[00:25:05] Speaker C: Oh, I'm sure.
[00:25:06] Speaker A: Anywhere near you.
[00:25:07] Speaker C: Yeah, like there were. Shimmy's not here either. And neither is way. Is that it?
[00:25:14] Speaker A: Pippa.
[00:25:14] Speaker C: Shimi. Pippa.
[00:25:15] Speaker B: Pippa's here, right?
[00:25:17] Speaker C: Oscar? I'm sure. Wait. Oh, maybe Oscar's here. Oh, shit, he is.
[00:25:20] Speaker A: I was assuming Oscar was.
[00:25:22] Speaker B: Does Oscar get a turn, though?
[00:25:25] Speaker A: Maybe he wouldn't have been able to keep up either.
[00:25:27] Speaker D: I low key don't want Oscar to be here remembering what happened to Roscoe.
[00:25:32] Speaker B: Yeah, for real.
[00:25:33] Speaker C: Roscoe would have had control over that. Like, totally yeah.
[00:25:37] Speaker D: Oscar might have stayed back at the tavern.
[00:25:39] Speaker A: Yeah, we knew it was going to.
[00:25:40] Speaker C: Be a big thing. Like, we didn't have a role for him to howl mournfully at. Beth, do you see Oscar?
[00:25:50] Speaker A: I don't see.
[00:25:50] Speaker C: No, he's not there anymore.
[00:25:51] Speaker D: Roscoe. Roscoe would have had old showmanship performance wisdom of, like, you never act with.
[00:25:58] Speaker A: Kids or animals, except for when you grab them by the ears and spin them around in a circle and fling them at things.
[00:26:07] Speaker C: Right.
[00:26:08] Speaker D: Or was it the tail?
[00:26:09] Speaker C: The tail.
[00:26:10] Speaker A: It was probably the tail.
[00:26:11] Speaker C: It was the tail. It's much more sturdy.
[00:26:17] Speaker A: What are you doing?
[00:26:18] Speaker D: Roscoe will try to cast, enlarge, reduce on this thing.
[00:26:25] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:26:26] Speaker D: He's gonna try to make it bigger.
I'm kidding. I'm gonna try to make him smaller and more manageable, I think, maybe.
[00:26:36] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:26:37] Speaker D: Although if I do that, then he's just gonna be down below with just mo and.
[00:26:41] Speaker C: Yeah, who cares? But I don't know.
[00:26:43] Speaker D: I like. I like that Roscoe. I don't think he's successfully. Has he successfully done reduce yet?
[00:26:51] Speaker A: Tried it on coyote and got mad at Bathwhack.
[00:26:55] Speaker D: Yeah. So I'm going to do that.
If the target is unwilling, it can make a constitution saving throw.
[00:27:02] Speaker A: Yeah, it's unwilling.
So, yeah. What is your spell safe?
[00:27:07] Speaker D: DC.
It is 14.
[00:27:15] Speaker A: It succeeds, it saves.
[00:27:18] Speaker D: All right, Roscoe leaves.
[00:27:21] Speaker B: Doesn't it shrink just a little bit?
[00:27:23] Speaker A: Nope. On a success, the spell has no effect.
What is it? I don't remember. What does enlarge, reduce look like? Bath whack. I mean, that's not your name. Did I do that last week, too? Did I keep calling you Bathwhack?
[00:27:36] Speaker C: I think you called bathwac Roscoe or, like, someone else. Ross, you were definitely confusing somebody over and over. It was weird.
[00:27:42] Speaker A: Okay.
You don't know.
So, yeah, what is. What is. What does it look like? Roscoe.
[00:27:55] Speaker D: But, like, Roscoe tries, like, I mean, the storm roiling above. I mean, Roscoe is, like, wide eyed. He's over. He's very like, this is not. This wasn't in the script.
[00:28:07] Speaker A: Nope. And.
[00:28:11] Speaker D: He'S. He puts his hands up almost to like. It's like, please stop. Please stop this from happening.
[00:28:19] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:28:21] Speaker D: As maybe the beginnings of rain pelts his face.
[00:28:25] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:28:26] Speaker D: And he has to hold on to. He holds on to his hat with one hand and tries to make this big problem become small with the other.
[00:28:33] Speaker C: It does not work.
[00:28:35] Speaker A: Your stained jacket is fluttering in the breeze.
[00:28:40] Speaker D: Oh, fuck. This is terrible.
[00:28:43] Speaker C: This is very.
[00:28:44] Speaker A: Are you staying where you are?
[00:28:46] Speaker D: Yeah, I don't think Roscoe is particularly motivated to get closer right now.
[00:28:49] Speaker A: Okay, thanks. Cool. You're welcome.
All righty, so this figure, having been struck by lightning and stabbed in the horn by a lizard man, it rears back and goes.
[00:29:07] Speaker C: Is that a word or no? Okay.
[00:29:09] Speaker A: It was a sound.
It's clock face.
And let's see here.
The red light from its skin, the red lines on its horns, I failed to mention, are sort of coursing all through its entire body.
Those lines pulse in this bright red light. Its eyes and mouth and chest cavity that you can see. I guess Rufina can probably see them now too. And bathwaxis sort of brighten intensely.
And. Let's see.
And then sort of. Sort of suck back in. And they almost dim, but as the lights sucks back in, I need batwack and Rufina to make a constitution saving throw. As you feel, basically, it feels almost like your heart is being pulled out of you, but it's. It's not physically, but that's what it feels like, so. Yeah. And the. The DC is 18.
[00:30:22] Speaker F: Okay, well, that was awesome. Add five. Add five.
[00:30:29] Speaker B: Can I add five?
[00:30:30] Speaker F: Yeah.
[00:30:32] Speaker B: All right, I got a total of nine because I got a four.
[00:30:38] Speaker A: Okay, so bathwack and Mo save and Ruffina fails.
So.
So Rafina takes.
[00:30:48] Speaker F: Now you have to live. Rafina, because you have to go back with a diamond and resuscitate that person.
[00:30:53] Speaker A: 56 necrotic damage.
[00:30:55] Speaker B: What?
[00:30:56] Speaker A: And bath whack takes half of that. So. What is that?
[00:31:01] Speaker F: Holy crap. It's 3628-2828.
[00:31:07] Speaker A: All right.
[00:31:08] Speaker F: Oh, this is Super 56, right?
[00:31:11] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:31:11] Speaker F: This is really, really bad.
[00:31:13] Speaker C: Seems like we just need to run away. What the fuck?
[00:31:18] Speaker A: And those lights and sort of the glowing energy that seems to be through this thing seem to remain faded.
So you don't think it can do that a lot.
So that's that.
And Mo collapses on top of its head, but the thing hasn't moved, so he's just, like, laying up on. On top there.
[00:31:45] Speaker B: Wait, did Moe actually get hit by something, though?
[00:31:47] Speaker A: The same thing that you two did?
[00:31:49] Speaker B: Oh, okay. I didn't understand. He was also.
[00:31:51] Speaker A: Yeah, it was a radius centered on itself.
Will, you can see part of what has just happened. The last thing you see is mo collapsing on top of this. Something's head. You heard what ruffina was yelling about, what it looked like or whatever. What are you doing?
[00:32:14] Speaker C: I have no idea. I feel like this for the first time in a while. It's like we have no idea what this creature's motivation is he looks like some kind of evil thing.
It's great to just assume and kill things when that happens. I guess, um, because it just hit everybody, obviously it's not great, but, like, will is like reason, right? Like. But will, so much of what he does is tries to distract or manipulate things and he doesn't know what the fuck this thing needs, so.
But, like, let me look at my. I got hit a bunch, too. Whoa. Okay. Um.
Fuck. All right. I think I'm going to cast just because I. He doesn't know what to do, but, like, hoping that this thing might distinguish figures from each other. He's going to make himself look like he's made out of rock and has red lines going all over him. Kind of just trying to make up the self look like this thing.
[00:33:30] Speaker A: Hot.
[00:33:30] Speaker C: And.
[00:33:34] Speaker A: The hall of the Mountain king starts to play.
[00:33:36] Speaker C: 30, 35, 40. Fuck.
Because I can fly. That would be. If I cast fly that I can't do anything else.
[00:33:48] Speaker A: You can reach him with your normal movement?
[00:33:50] Speaker C: I can reach him with. You mean like running? That would be like 30ft. I can wait. No, I just counted this. 12340. I didn't go just fully diagonal.
Well, I also don't necessarily want. 510 15 2025.
[00:34:05] Speaker B: 30.
[00:34:05] Speaker A: Fuck.
[00:34:05] Speaker C: Um.
I don't want to go, like, right next to him. I wanted to. My goal is to get out to the, um, ocean a little bit. 123-4566 make myself look like him and I guess like, or her. Is that. Or. Yeah, whatever. And this.
I. If I. No, no. Okay. Okay. No, no. I can do both of these things. I can cast a spell and talk because I didn't run or anything. Okay. I'm going to.
Oh, wait. No, no. But I changed my appearance. That's what I was trying to ask. Like, if I change my appearance using like, whatever thing. Does that take an action?
[00:34:51] Speaker A: I'd have to look at your character sheet. It's mask of many faces.
[00:34:55] Speaker C: See, I think. Yeah, it's not even on here. We don't even have it written down.
[00:35:01] Speaker A: I mean, disguise self is technically an action.
That's what it does. It allows you to cast disguise self. So. Yeah.
[00:35:08] Speaker C: All right, so then I just. Sorry. Oh, fuck. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing, but it's like, I don't think my, the most powerful spell I have is eldritch blast, which even if I roll three tension, that's 30 damage. Like, I don't know, I feel like it's not really going to do much. I feel like if I can possibly distract this for thing from other people and maybe fly out to the ocean. That's, like, his plan right now, and then get lost and saved by some time. I don't know.
So, yeah, I make myself look like this thing, and I fly out there and I, like, yell at him. What does he want? Like, what do you want? You know what I mean? Like, just because that's what I want to know. Even though I don't know if he'll even understand me.
[00:35:53] Speaker F: Got it.
[00:35:54] Speaker C: Could I say it in infernal? Like, would I think that this thing. So, like, this is my ignorance of D and D is infernal. Like, really just. I know. It's like tieflings can speak it.
[00:36:07] Speaker A: Infernal is, like, demon language.
[00:36:09] Speaker C: So is this a demon? Like, would I perceive? Like, is that. I don't know how D and D works. Like, are things with torrent. Okay, so I'm going to say it in inferno.
[00:36:19] Speaker A: What are you gonna say?
[00:36:20] Speaker C: What do you want?
[00:36:21] Speaker A: What do you want? Got it. Okay.
All right.
Bath whack.
All right, you're down at the feet of this thing, floating there above the surf, which is crashing below your feet.
[00:36:38] Speaker F: This would be really lovely if there wasn't a giant demon over my head.
[00:36:42] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't know that you necessarily can really see anybody else.
[00:36:45] Speaker F: Yeah, I was gonna ask. I mean, I didn't think I could see.
I'm not going to know anyone.
[00:36:50] Speaker A: At the top of the thing.
You do see, those lights have dimmed. You felt the, you know, at least partial brunt of that attack. You saw the lightning strike down.
Yeah. I don't think you could hear anything from up there either. So you don't hear will or you didn't hear what Rafina said or anything like that. So what are you doing down there?
[00:37:12] Speaker F: Well, I have to heal. I'm almost dead.
So that's what I'm going to use my action doing.
And then if it doesn't. I mean, since it doesn't look like anyone is in distress, I'm going to assume this thing, that this is sort of.
That it might follow me or something.
I also need to get away and play dead.
So I'll risk whatever it's going to do and I'll fly off to the.
Around the coastline. Like, let's see, 10, 15, 20.
Like, trying to get out of range. Let's even do it.
30. I can go to here.
[00:38:14] Speaker A: Okay, so you will take an attack of opportunity.
[00:38:17] Speaker F: Yeah, that's what I.
It's right next to me.
[00:38:21] Speaker A: All right, so let's see how that goes. It, um.
Roscoe had asked if it's armed.
[00:38:26] Speaker C: Noticed that he's down there.
[00:38:28] Speaker A: Roscoe had asked if it's armed. It has arms, and at the end of the arms are these large, clawed hands, and it reaches out and tries to claw you as you fly away.
[00:38:41] Speaker C: I wish that was a.
[00:38:43] Speaker A: It's a 27 to hit.
[00:38:45] Speaker F: Geez, that's a pretty good one. I would look up my armor class, but it doesn't matter.
[00:38:50] Speaker A: All right, so that does.
[00:38:52] Speaker C: This is not cool, Eric.
[00:38:56] Speaker B: I love it. We have these battles, and we get to the point where KT is just like Eric.
[00:39:02] Speaker A: I know.
[00:39:02] Speaker C: I'm like Eric.
Everyone is going to do so.
[00:39:06] Speaker A: That's nine damage nine slashing.
[00:39:08] Speaker F: Damage nine. Okay.
[00:39:10] Speaker B: It's metagaming for me to tell people about my hit points, right? Except when they're not.
[00:39:15] Speaker A: You could tell them how you're looking.
It's, you know, can be expressed in those kind of ways, so you could.
[00:39:23] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:39:23] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:39:26] Speaker B: There's a bruise on one third of my body.
[00:39:28] Speaker C: There we go.
[00:39:31] Speaker A: Nice.
All right, let's see. Who would see this. Maybe will and Roscoe. Rufina could, but I don't know if she'd notice.
[00:39:45] Speaker B: See what?
[00:39:46] Speaker A: From the road down where you came, like, down the hill towards the town, you see a figure sprinting its way up towards you.
[00:39:56] Speaker B: Emerald green robes.
[00:39:57] Speaker A: What's the word? Preternaturally fast. That's the word, right? Yeah.
[00:40:01] Speaker B: Then it must be emerald green robes, lady.
[00:40:03] Speaker A: Emerald green robes, lady.
[00:40:05] Speaker B: Not.
[00:40:05] Speaker C: Dang it, another victim.
[00:40:07] Speaker E: Hooray.
[00:40:08] Speaker A: What am I doing? Oops. Undo that.
[00:40:11] Speaker F: I had a question. The road back down on our map in front of us is off to the right, correct?
[00:40:18] Speaker A: Trent is to the right.
[00:40:20] Speaker F: Yeah, I'm trying to go the other direction along the coastline. Not the way that would.
That would follow the road along the coastline back.
[00:40:30] Speaker A: Got it. Away from the town.
[00:40:32] Speaker F: Yeah.
[00:40:34] Speaker A: And she runs up and shouts, what's going on? What's happening?
[00:40:42] Speaker D: We need your help again.
[00:40:44] Speaker C: Oh, hi.
[00:40:45] Speaker B: I'm glad you're. Thank you for absolving me. What are you doing?
[00:40:50] Speaker A: I'm here to help.
[00:40:53] Speaker F: Please help.
[00:40:55] Speaker A: All right.
Rafina, I'm sorry about your bruise. I really, truly am.
[00:41:02] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:41:03] Speaker A: DM Mo is collapsed on the top of the head of this thing, whose head seems to start to be turning towards the left, away from you.
Whether it's towards Bathwhack, Roscoe, demon, will or a fly. You don't know.
What are you doing?
[00:41:24] Speaker B: Oh, I really want to.
I just have to pick the right. One.
So I can see Mo and I can see bathwag, right?
Yes, because I'm looking over the thingy.
[00:41:39] Speaker A: Yep, you can still see bathwhack.
[00:41:42] Speaker B: All right, well, then we're gonna do a prayer of healing up to six creatures. So those. Those two and myself.
[00:41:52] Speaker A: You can also see will. You can see everybody.
[00:41:56] Speaker B: Oh, I'm sorry. Does will need healing, too?
[00:41:58] Speaker C: He might hit a lot.
[00:42:01] Speaker A: Also, this lady in the emerald green robes might if you wanted to heal her. You don't necessarily know her intention.
[00:42:09] Speaker C: We just kill her again. I'm following us, weirdo.
[00:42:17] Speaker B: Are you not dead yet?
[00:42:18] Speaker A: That's your own business.
[00:42:20] Speaker C: She's the next Ricardo Disius.
[00:42:22] Speaker A: All of you, including the demon, turn.
[00:42:24] Speaker C: And say, get out of here.
[00:42:26] Speaker E: Get out of here.
[00:42:31] Speaker B: I'm going to. I'm going to just sort of heal indiscriminately. So all of my friends, um, except. And this person I consider my friend. Um, so. And let me think. I'm going to cast it a level four.
[00:42:45] Speaker A: Okay, so it's the spell.
[00:42:49] Speaker B: Hang on, let me click the little button.
[00:42:51] Speaker A: Oh, cool. Thanks.
All right, so we got 24 because of your life domain. Uh, hit points to all those people you mentioned.
[00:43:03] Speaker C: Nice.
[00:43:04] Speaker B: Oh, good.
[00:43:05] Speaker F: Okay.
[00:43:06] Speaker B: And that was my spell, and I'm not going anywhere.
[00:43:09] Speaker A: All right, so you see. You see mo come to his senses.
[00:43:14] Speaker B: Thank goodness. Oh, mo.
[00:43:17] Speaker A: And he goes, what? What?
And he doesn't even get up. He just starts stabbing down into the head of this thing.
All right, that's a hit. A hit and a miss. So we got.
[00:43:35] Speaker F: I think I missed something. Wait, so did rafini heal all of us by some amount?
[00:43:39] Speaker A: Uh huh.
All of us by 20? What did we say 28.
[00:43:44] Speaker B: 28 for?
[00:43:46] Speaker F: So everyone gains 28.
[00:43:47] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:43:48] Speaker F: Oh, wow. Okay.
[00:43:49] Speaker C: I thought it was 24.
[00:43:52] Speaker A: Nope, 28. Wait, you're right. 24. Sorry.
Whose side are you on, anyway?
[00:43:59] Speaker C: I'm on my own side.
I just didn't want the hit points, that's all. I was just like, no, that's too many hit points. No, thanks.
[00:44:11] Speaker A: All right, and then Mo does get to his feet, but he still stays on this thing's head.
Roscoe, you tried to enlarge? Not enlarge, reduce this thing to no avail. That maybe you weren't so intentional about it. Maybe that was the problem. So Bathwhack is you can't really still see bathwax. You don't know what's going on down there. You do see this. This half orc in the robes running up to see what's happening. Will is. Well, I guess you didn't see will transform. Yeah, nobody came out looking like a little demon. And you shouted, though.
What do you want in infernal?
[00:44:54] Speaker C: So if Roscoe knows how what that is. I don't know what languages Roscoe knows.
[00:45:03] Speaker D: I'm searching the compendium for fairy fire because I'm supposed to have that in.
[00:45:13] Speaker A: My spelled with an ie, if that helps.
[00:45:17] Speaker D: Oh, I do have it already. I just wasn't looking in the right spot.
Yeah. I think Roscoe will try to cast fairy fire on this thing to help give his allies an advantage.
I. Roscoe saw that cool hit that did, like, 50 something worth of damage to. To Rafina.
[00:45:45] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:45:46] Speaker A: Yeah, that immediately just fell. Mo.
[00:45:49] Speaker D: Seriously, he's gonna maintain his distance and try to do purifier as long as this. I think he's just within 60.
[00:45:55] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:45:56] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:45:56] Speaker A: Cool.
So what. What type of light would you like it to be outlined in saving throw?
[00:46:03] Speaker D: Can I decide whether I want to expand the creativity after we roll?
[00:46:10] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:46:11] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:46:12] Speaker A: DC 14. Right.
Okay.
Oh, wait, you were gonna be like.
[00:46:28] Speaker D: Crit failed the fairy fire.
So what does that mean?
[00:46:36] Speaker A: So, yeah, go ahead.
[00:46:38] Speaker D: I want. I think, like, it's part of the. The storm that's roiling. I think.
I think, like, Roscoe lifts it after. After his hand was up to, like, aimed at this thing, he just raised it even higher to the sky and spread the, like, the storm clouds apart.
And there should just be this, like, beam of.
What is it? Lightning? Or is it like, a beam of just non storm daylight? What time is it? It's daytime.
Yeah, there's, like, instead of somebody, like, having a rain cloud over their head, this is the inverse.
Like, just a patch of daylight shining down. Like, the bright sun in the middle of this storm is shining down on this thing.
[00:47:34] Speaker A: Cool.
[00:47:36] Speaker C: Now it won't be able to see us, hopefully.
[00:47:39] Speaker A: So with. So the normal effect of fairy fire is while it's outlined in this light, everybody has advantage against it, if you can see it.
But since it crit failed, I'm going to say that during for the next round, any attacks that hit will deal max damage.
[00:48:06] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:48:07] Speaker D: I also realized something that I don't think we've ever actually done, but we might as well start now.
[00:48:18] Speaker A: Play D and d.
[00:48:24] Speaker D: The coin. We might say the necklace from Tanya that Roscoe wears.
It says, while wearing this featureless copper circle around your neck. At the start of your turn, roll a d 100.
On a 99 or 100, you negate all damage dealt to you until the start of your next turn.
[00:48:45] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:48:46] Speaker C: And I don't think.
[00:48:46] Speaker B: Did you just make that up?
[00:48:48] Speaker D: I don't think that's like an. I don't think that's an action. I think it's just like. It's just a luck thing.
[00:48:53] Speaker B: So, like, it's a feature.
[00:48:55] Speaker D: And I know, strictly speaking, this isn't the start of my turn, but will you allow me to roll d 100 and see what happens?
[00:49:01] Speaker A: Sure. Yeah.
[00:49:02] Speaker B: Come on, come on, come on. Oh, so close.
[00:49:05] Speaker C: All right, 77.
[00:49:07] Speaker B: Yeah, I like that.
[00:49:09] Speaker C: Hey, but that's pretty lucky. Two sevens. We're gonna survive.
[00:49:12] Speaker B: It's going to work out just fine.
[00:49:13] Speaker C: It's going to work out somehow.
[00:49:17] Speaker D: Well, that's. That's rascals.
[00:49:19] Speaker C: Really going to be.
[00:49:20] Speaker D: This thing is now drenched in sunlight.
[00:49:23] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:49:24] Speaker C: That's awesome.
[00:49:24] Speaker A: It's glowing with this yellow orange light. All right, so it's got this thing on its head stabbing into it.
Bath whack down below is running away.
It's gonna turn and it's gonna look sort of peer. Its eyes are just above the level of the cliff, and they're gonna first turn and cast their gaze over you, Roscoe. And then they're going to fix themselves directly at you, Will.
And mo's up on top, sort of hanging on for dear life as it rotates around, it tilts its head very slightly at the sight of you, Will, and goes, it's not infernal.
[00:50:20] Speaker C: Fuck.
[00:50:22] Speaker A: I don't think anybody here understands what it says. I'm pretty sure. Does anybody know abyssal?
[00:50:29] Speaker F: I don't think so.
[00:50:31] Speaker A: Nah.
And then it is going to start to climb the cliff, and that's about all it starts and it can get. So, like, basically it's midway up. Its torso is at the level of the top of the cliff.
Next. Next round, it'll probably be able to mount the top of the cliff and probably even do something.
But, yeah, it doesn't take any attacks or anything.
And then it's Will's turn.
[00:51:15] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:51:16] Speaker A: You seem to have its attention.
[00:51:18] Speaker C: I'm so annoyed because I should have. Like, I. Because I changed my appearance. I couldn't cast this, which I should have cast before, but I'm going to cast comprehend languages.
So for an hour, I can understand the literal meaning of any spoken language that I hear.
[00:51:34] Speaker A: I see.
Cool.
[00:51:37] Speaker C: So I cast that. Like, I'm like, fuck. Like, you realize, like, damn it. But I've never actually cast this before. Sure.
I don't even know if I have a description written down.
[00:51:47] Speaker A: I feel like you've had that one ever since you started playing.
[00:51:50] Speaker C: Basically what I don't have anything written down for it. I put a babelfish in my ear. No, I can't. It's not that, but it's like. But in this case, I feel like that just happened. Like, he turned to me and went, blah, blah, blah. I feel like I'm like. Like, it's like a Jim Carrey move. Like, stick my finger in my ear, but it's like my, like, kind of just, like, glittery magic. Like a dark, kind of stormy, glittery thing kind of glittery, like.
And then I'm like. And then I ask the same question again, but I, like, just in common.
[00:52:29] Speaker A: Okay, cool.
[00:52:31] Speaker C: And hope that he replies to me. And then I have to wait a whole other fucking round.
[00:52:35] Speaker B: Well, won't you hear it? The answer to the question. When it's his turn. Its turn.
Yeah.
[00:52:41] Speaker C: Yeah. If he says anything to anyone else. Yeah, but I just feel bad because I don't want anyone to die.
I'm just hoping if I can figure out something that it wants, we can maybe stop it, but maybe we'll just kill it before then and I'll be as useless as I mostly is.
[00:52:59] Speaker A: The.
[00:52:59] Speaker D: Does the comprehend languages not apply retroactively? To what?
[00:53:05] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:53:05] Speaker B: Well, I appreciate Adam.
[00:53:07] Speaker C: I mean, if you remember any spoken.
[00:53:09] Speaker D: Language, what he said, and then say it aloud to yourself, you should be able to understand it, I think.
[00:53:19] Speaker A: Be sure to drink your oval team.
[00:53:22] Speaker C: It depends on. I mean, like, imagine trying to repeat something in Chinese to your, like, a full on.
[00:53:27] Speaker D: Oh, I'm not gonna make that mistake again.
[00:53:29] Speaker A: No, no, no.
[00:53:33] Speaker D: I'm not. You're not gonna trick me into doing a chinese accent again.
I almost got.
No, it's just like, it would be deeply offensive.
[00:53:41] Speaker A: Yeah, I just wondered if you.
[00:53:45] Speaker E: Wait a second.
[00:53:45] Speaker C: Is this a reference that I'm not remembering?
[00:53:48] Speaker D: No. Well, you. You guys remember when we made that movie breakfast at Tiffany's, and you told.
[00:53:55] Speaker C: Me, just do it.
[00:53:57] Speaker D: It's okay. Just do the voice.
[00:54:00] Speaker F: Oh, my God.
[00:54:01] Speaker D: And I was exactly. That was so short back then, too.
So short.
All right, well, sticky move.
[00:54:12] Speaker C: What was Mickey Rooney short? Wait, that's who that was?
[00:54:17] Speaker D: Yeah, Mickey Rooney. He literally. The name of his autobiography titled his autobiography life is too short because of how short he was.
[00:54:28] Speaker C: Really? I don't know very much Mickey. I know that role because I've seen that movie, but I 520.
Wow. I had no idea.
[00:54:37] Speaker A: It's two inches taller than my mom.
[00:54:40] Speaker C: Your mom is just five. Oh, God.
[00:54:43] Speaker A: Cut that from the podcast. Okay.
[00:54:44] Speaker C: All right. Alex's mom is five foot now. Everyone's gonna know who you are.
[00:54:53] Speaker B: My mom has 5ft.
[00:54:55] Speaker C: What? Your mom's a caterpillar.
[00:54:58] Speaker B: She's a pentapod.
[00:55:00] Speaker A: I thought you were gonna say pimpopod.
[00:55:04] Speaker C: She's a pimp.
[00:55:05] Speaker A: She's a pimp. Of course she's got 5ft. What else are you gonna do?
Bathwhack?
You're flying away like a coward, taking on Will's role as he's drawing the ire of this. This thing. You don't know ire. Maybe he's going up to have a civil discourse. You don't know.
What are you doing?
[00:55:24] Speaker F: Yeah, so I see it. Turn. Start climbing.
All right, how tall is the cliff?
I'm gonna.
I'm gonna.
[00:55:33] Speaker A: 60Ft.
[00:55:34] Speaker F: Let's see, 1015.
All right, I'm gonna fly around the corner and then I'm gonna start ascending the cliffside.
[00:55:48] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:55:49] Speaker F: I will get there in another.
[00:55:52] Speaker C: Sure.
[00:55:52] Speaker F: It's gonna take me two turns to get up. I'll have to sprint the next. Can I fly faster if I'm, like, running?
[00:56:00] Speaker C: I don't think, like, running and flying.
[00:56:01] Speaker F: I just don't know if the boots have.
[00:56:03] Speaker A: I mean, well, running is basically taking your action to move again is what running is.
[00:56:08] Speaker F: Oh, got it.
[00:56:09] Speaker A: So, yeah, you got it. Got it.
[00:56:11] Speaker F: So 15.
Yeah, sure. So I'll use my entire action to move.
So I'm three quarters of the way up.
[00:56:20] Speaker D: I just realized. I just remembered that even if you had any javelins left, none of them have their tips.
[00:56:27] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:56:28] Speaker E: Oh, my God.
[00:56:29] Speaker A: So.
[00:56:29] Speaker D: So javelins. Deeply unprepared for this fight.
[00:56:33] Speaker C: Yeah.
Oh, geez.
[00:56:41] Speaker A: You are almost. Next. It is emerald robed.
[00:56:45] Speaker C: Oh, right.
[00:56:48] Speaker B: And it doesn't matter what spell I cast. It breaks my concentration when I cast a spell. Right.
[00:56:54] Speaker A: If the spell requires concentration.
[00:56:57] Speaker B: Oh, interesting. Okay.
[00:56:58] Speaker A: Otherwise, no. So that's why you cast your healing spell last time.
[00:57:02] Speaker B: That was fine. Oh, no joke.
[00:57:04] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:57:04] Speaker B: I thought for sure I would. I had, though.
[00:57:07] Speaker A: I guess you did take damage. I didn't make you save, so you lucked out there.
[00:57:11] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:57:14] Speaker A: All right. So this half orc, does she look.
[00:57:20] Speaker B: Grateful that I healed her?
[00:57:23] Speaker A: She seems to be doing better.
She turns and gives you a solemn nod and then she runs up, dashes up towards this thing as it's cresting the top of the cliff.
It has like one of its hands down on the side of the cliff. And she is going to reach back, take a deep breath, and then it looks like she punches once and kind of slow, but she actually punches it like a fuck ton of times.
[00:57:57] Speaker B: What is that called, like, the spell wise?
[00:57:59] Speaker A: Uh, it's not a spell. It isn't? It's a type of attack that she can do called flurry of blows.
[00:58:07] Speaker B: Whoa.
[00:58:09] Speaker A: So let's see. So she is all right.
Oh, and these are all with advantage. So it's 18.
So hit.
Oops.
Hit. Hit.
Just do the same thing.
Miss.
Hit. So three hits that all do max damage thanks to the crit fail on the fairy lights or fairy fire.
So that is how much damage.
So.
So that's 30 bludgeoning damage.
And it has to make a saving throw.
Which is what type of saving throw, you may ask? Why. It is a dexterity saving throw. Throw.
[00:59:18] Speaker F: She has to.
[00:59:19] Speaker A: Nope. It does.
[00:59:20] Speaker F: It does.
[00:59:21] Speaker B: It doesn't seem like a dexterous kind.
[00:59:23] Speaker A: Of creature, and it fails. And so it was like the last punch connects directly with the wrist of this beast, and it loses its grip on the cliff and tumbles down to the ground below.
[00:59:45] Speaker B: Oh, don't squish anyone.
[00:59:50] Speaker A: And it is prone on the beach.
Mo is thrown wide and is flying through the air towards the water below.
[00:59:58] Speaker C: He's awake right now, right?
[01:00:00] Speaker A: He is awake, yep. He had gotten to his feet, even, and he had stabbed it a few times.
Rafina.
[01:00:06] Speaker B: Hi.
[01:00:07] Speaker A: This thing has plummeted down to the earth below. It even took some damage from falling, didn't it? It definitely did.
So what are you doing?
[01:00:16] Speaker B: I'm going to zap him with the lightning again.
[01:00:19] Speaker A: Okay.
[01:00:21] Speaker B: Do I need to roll again? No, I don't.
[01:00:23] Speaker A: No, it has to save.
[01:00:25] Speaker B: In fact, I didn't have to roll at all. I just have to roll damage.
[01:00:28] Speaker A: But you don't, because you're doing Max damage thanks to fairy fire this round.
[01:00:32] Speaker B: Oh, yes.
Thank you, fairy fighter.
[01:00:37] Speaker A: So what was your DC 16? So it fails. So it does. What was it, 66?
[01:00:45] Speaker B: Why would I know?
[01:00:46] Speaker A: 60 ten. I mean, I believe. Oh, six level. Yeah, 60 ten. So it does. I think it's 60 damage, but as if you recall, it is. Does seem resistant. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Meta wise, resistance to effects usually means it halves the damage, just so you know.
And Mo is thrown clear, so it doesn't hurt Moe at all.
Perfect timing. Yes.
Are you still standing at the top of the cliff? Are you. Do you have any other plans?
[01:01:20] Speaker B: No, I am staying where I am.
[01:01:22] Speaker A: Cool. Okay.
Boo mo, he turns and is gonna try to dive gracefully into the water below.
Oh, he's fine.
He avoids any of the rocks down there. He knows what he's doing. That's. That's. That's within his wheelhouse. Roscoe, the creature has fallen out of sight.
Mo flew off somewhere. Bathwack. You still can't see this emerald robed figure. Hit it a bunch. What are you doing?
[01:02:02] Speaker D: Roscoe will run this way to kind of get over to the edge of the cliff so we can see.
[01:02:09] Speaker A: Yep.
See, it's down on the. On the ground there on its back.
[01:02:16] Speaker D: As Roscoe runs and his mustard stand coat blowing behind him, he clutches Tanya's necklace, praying to no gods whatsoever. Sure, but everything turns out fine.
[01:02:39] Speaker A: 79. Two points closer.
[01:02:43] Speaker D: And now Roscoe can see down to this monster lying prone on the beach.
How high? Like, what's my distance? What's the Z axis here?
[01:03:04] Speaker A: Well, since you ignore diagonals in D and D, it kind of gets a little weird, but it's essentially like 60ft.
[01:03:11] Speaker D: Away, I think from up here, Roscoe will.
Again, he's very in tune with the.
With this. He was in tune with the storm enough to be able to, like, part the clouds and create daylight.
He's going to kind of channel that and try to cast Thunder wave.
[01:03:44] Speaker A: Thunder wave.
[01:03:46] Speaker D: Which, funnily enough, I mean, this is a spell that, like, he knows he can cast. And like, this is. This is whatever.
So is.
I don't know.
It's the other spells that freak him out when he.
[01:04:02] Speaker A: When he casts thunder wave. It's too far away for that.
[01:04:06] Speaker B: Is it?
[01:04:07] Speaker A: That's only 15ft. It's like centered around you.
[01:04:13] Speaker D: Oh, yeah, because it sweeps out from me.
[01:04:16] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:04:18] Speaker D: Can't do that.
[01:04:20] Speaker A: You could hit bathwhack with it. Okay.
Hell yeah.
[01:04:29] Speaker D: Okay, well, thanks for letting me know, dm. I appreciate.
[01:04:33] Speaker A: You're welcome. That'd be so it. What a big dick I would be if I just let you cast be like. It's not even close to being near enough for that to do anything.
[01:04:42] Speaker D: Well, what I. What I can do is mind sliver did this on that scarecrow looking fuck. Now I'm going to do it on this stone guy. I'm going to try to drive a disorienting spike of psychic energy into the mind of one creature.
So it needs to make an intelligence saving throw.
[01:05:05] Speaker A: Okay.
[01:05:07] Speaker D: Against my 14 safety seat.
[01:05:10] Speaker A: All right, cool. Let's see how that goes.
It fails, so what happens?
[01:05:22] Speaker D: Yes.
So Roscoe sends into its brain the image of sunlight so strong with its shatter stone.
This is what's in your future.
[01:05:48] Speaker B: Brother.
[01:05:50] Speaker E: Brother.
[01:05:57] Speaker D: Take one. D six. Psychic damage.
[01:06:01] Speaker A: It's actually three. D six because you're 11th level.
This spells.
[01:06:06] Speaker D: Damage increases by one day effect when you reach that levels.
[01:06:12] Speaker A: Okay, Eric, no problem, brother.
[01:06:17] Speaker D: So I'll roll three d six.
[01:06:20] Speaker A: Yep.
Okay. Eight psychic damage. Got it.
[01:06:27] Speaker D: And subtract one d four from the next saving throw it makes before the end of my next turn.
[01:06:41] Speaker A: Yep.
[01:06:42] Speaker D: So for. For it to stand or become unprone, would that be a saving throw?
[01:06:48] Speaker A: No, that just takes half of its movement to get to its feet. It's automatic. But any of the spells that you're another call lightning or any of those kind of things would be sable.
[01:07:03] Speaker D: That's Roscoe's turn.
[01:07:05] Speaker A: Cool.
All right.
So speaking of taking half of its movement to get up, the demon takes half of its movement to get up, and then it is going to reach up and try to claw at the half orc who just struck it down.
So there, that is where we at.
That is a miss and a hit.
And that does nine slashing damage and 23 necrotic damage.
Yeah. And then it's going to try to climb the cliff again, but it can't get nearly as far up. It's kind of like, got, like, maybe like the top of its shoulders, above the top of the cliff.
And you had asked it something or you would cast the thing and then asked a question again.
[01:08:17] Speaker C: Yeah, but I asked it in common because I don't know his language.
[01:08:21] Speaker A: So as it, as it's slashing with its claws, it shouts, it utters another.
And you are able to understand that will is all. Must die.
[01:08:36] Speaker C: Oh, geez. Nice. Okay.
[01:08:38] Speaker B: Not ambiguous.
[01:08:41] Speaker C: Not at all. That's what it wants. Well, that's great.
[01:08:45] Speaker A: Well, you don't know if it understood you. Don't know if it understood you.
[01:08:48] Speaker C: Oh, it might just be saying that because we're hitting it. Maybe it's like the nicest, like, hit it right away. And it was like, like, hey, I like peace and love. This isn't cool. And then we hit it again. It was like, maybe.
[01:09:02] Speaker A: Maybe something got caught in its throat at the end and actually trying to say almost diet. And it's like, really?
[01:09:08] Speaker C: He's an influencer. He must die. Let's get.
[01:09:10] Speaker A: Yeah.
He climbs up and down the cliff, bursts out of it as part of his crossfit routine.
[01:09:17] Speaker E: Fuck this guy.
[01:09:18] Speaker B: Yeah, totally.
[01:09:21] Speaker A: This is his version of Ease burpees. Nice.
[01:09:32] Speaker C: Hey, everyone, if you like what you hear, please consider leaving us a kind review wherever that sort of thing happens. Also, support us by sending us a tip on Ko fi. You can find all of our social media [email protected]. Thank you for listening, and we'll see you next time.
