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Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: You're listening to the show about silent breakfast. It's pork fried dice.
I'm Eric, and I'm the dungeon master.
[00:00:10] Speaker B: I'm Abby, and I play Rufina.
[00:00:13] Speaker C: I'm Alex, and I play batweak.
[00:00:16] Speaker D: I'm kt and I play will.
[00:00:20] Speaker E: I'm Adam and I play Roscoe.
[00:00:25] Speaker A: Hold on to your haversacks. Let's roll.
All right, so you all hear a.
And a crossbow bolt flies from somewhere behind Roscoe and Rufina and lands squarely in your shoulder. Will.
[00:00:43] Speaker E: Oh, hey, who fired that?
[00:00:49] Speaker A: If you look back, you see there was a young person tending the bar in the ale house, and they've stepped up to the doorway, and they're holding a crossbow.
I just need to calculate the damage.
[00:01:05] Speaker D: Well, now I know where my eldritch blast is going.
[00:01:08] Speaker E: Not the bartender with the waterfall?
[00:01:10] Speaker A: No, he's not around. He maybe is exempt from opening.
You take one, damage me.
[00:01:22] Speaker D: Yep. Oh, good.
[00:01:23] Speaker E: Okay, that's good.
[00:01:27] Speaker A: Stupid.
[00:01:27] Speaker D: Pathetic.
[00:01:28] Speaker A: He says, get out of our town.
And it's now your turn.
[00:01:32] Speaker D: If I can manage it. I don't really react very much. I laugh at that, and I pull it out of my shoulder, and then I lick it. And inside I'm like, ew.
Inside I'm like, am I doing. Is this too much? I don't know. And then I just flick it onto the ground.
[00:01:52] Speaker C: Is it. Was it poisoned?
[00:01:55] Speaker D: Oh, shit, it's true. It could be.
[00:01:58] Speaker E: That's amazing.
Roscoe's definitely looking at this person, and he's like, okay, this is not part of the plan, but doesn't know what to do because trying to protect the bad guy wouldn't look good.
[00:02:20] Speaker D: No, don't hit him yet. Let him talk.
Defending him.
[00:02:26] Speaker A: Are you gonna do anything else?
[00:02:27] Speaker D: Excuse me, you are interrupting a performance.
[00:02:33] Speaker E: Do you have a ticket?
[00:02:34] Speaker D: Please?
[00:02:34] Speaker A: Silence. And put away your crossbows.
[00:02:40] Speaker C: Put your.
[00:02:42] Speaker D: Well, like I said, I licked the thing and I flicked it onto the ground like a cigarette, like it was nothing.
[00:02:47] Speaker A: Are you, like, doing any spells or anything?
[00:02:50] Speaker D: I look at that guy and I.
[00:02:55] Speaker A: By the way, you also hear, as that crossbow bolt hits home, you hear scattered applause and cheering from various places around in the street.
[00:03:06] Speaker D: So. Wait, what? I'm sorry, it's still. It's my turn that I licked the thing and I flicked it, and then I'm supposed to eat. You have, like, an action.
[00:03:12] Speaker A: Like, that's nothing.
[00:03:14] Speaker B: Licked and flick.
[00:03:15] Speaker D: Licked and flick. I licked and flicked it, just like you guys all do to ferrets.
I say, are you going to let this man fight for you, paladin.
[00:03:31] Speaker A: And take no action.
[00:03:33] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:03:34] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:03:34] Speaker D: Oh, yeah. Cool. I'm feeling good.
[00:03:36] Speaker A: Bath.
[00:03:37] Speaker C: Whack that. That's a lot of talking. And then I'm going to ram into him with my shield.
[00:03:41] Speaker D: Oh, yeah, he's right up next to me. Me as well.
[00:03:44] Speaker A: Okay, is this anything, like, a specific attack or anything, or just, like, you're just trying to. Are you trying to push him backwards?
[00:03:52] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm trying to push him. I'm trying to push him backwards. And. And. But, like, office feet and onto the ground.
[00:03:58] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:03:59] Speaker C: And. And I'm going to say, um, you know, get out of here.
[00:04:04] Speaker A: Okay, so I need.
[00:04:06] Speaker C: Leave. Get out.
[00:04:07] Speaker A: I need you to give me an athletics check. And, will, I need you to give me either a strength or a deck save.
[00:04:14] Speaker D: Dex.
My strength.
[00:04:21] Speaker A: 18 versus twelve.
All right? So since a Dex save, he does push you back, okay? But you don't end up on your butt. You're still on your feet, so you're, like, five or 10ft away from him now. But he did shove you backwards.
[00:04:37] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:04:37] Speaker A: And you're kind of close to the building on the other side of the road.
[00:04:39] Speaker C: I'm getting some terrible rules.
[00:04:43] Speaker D: I got a couple of natural ones tonight, too. It's fun. At least we know we're not gonna actually die. Or I hope.
[00:04:52] Speaker E: I think the roles in this chase scene might have to switch.
[00:04:57] Speaker D: Yeah, I know. Seriously.
Okay, so he says, leave. Get out. And he rams with a shield, and I get knocked back, and I say, yeah.
Oh, you need a whole town to back you up, don't you? And I look at Rafina, too, and I just do a mocking look at her. And then inside, I'm like, oh, Rafina, I'm still your friend.
[00:05:23] Speaker A: That sounds like KT, not will.
[00:05:27] Speaker D: Be. Like, I only need one thing.
Do you want to know what that thing is?
[00:05:40] Speaker C: No.
[00:05:45] Speaker D: That'S fine.
He's gonna fly up, like, slowly rise up off the street. Okay.
[00:05:54] Speaker C: No, actually, I'm not sure I would have said that. It's just kind of funny.
I mean, you can talk all you want, but we need to leave. You need to get out of here.
You need to leave these people alone.
I don't even know why you're here.
[00:06:09] Speaker D: I don't have a problem with these hillbillies. I have a problem with you.
And so do the dark powers.
[00:06:22] Speaker A: Dark powers?
[00:06:23] Speaker E: Dark powers.
[00:06:25] Speaker C: It seems like we're not going to avoid a fight, are we?
[00:06:28] Speaker D: Yes, we're not going to avoid a fight. I cast vicious mockery when I do that.
[00:06:34] Speaker E: Okay, that's amazing.
[00:06:37] Speaker A: You need to make a wisdom save. Was it? I think.
[00:06:42] Speaker C: I'm my own ally. I consider myself an ally.
[00:06:46] Speaker D: Oh, man. I'm not your ally, even though we are.
[00:06:50] Speaker C: It's. What is that? It's plus some.
[00:06:54] Speaker D: What's.
[00:06:54] Speaker C: It's 1515 to save.
[00:06:56] Speaker D: 14.
[00:06:57] Speaker A: It's 14.
[00:06:58] Speaker C: My armor class is 14.
[00:07:00] Speaker A: Wait, no, your spell say that's 16. Oh, you fail.
[00:07:03] Speaker C: All right, I fail.
[00:07:04] Speaker A: So you need to roll damage on that.
[00:07:06] Speaker D: Okay. What? Is it gonna hurt?
[00:07:09] Speaker A: I think it's just a d four.
[00:07:11] Speaker D: Yeah, it's just a d four.
[00:07:12] Speaker A: So go ahead and roll up, and then it has disadvantage on the next attack roll he makes.
[00:07:20] Speaker D: Gonna say thank you.
I'm sorry. I'm trying to take notes and cycle back and forth between the dice roll.
[00:07:27] Speaker A: Don't do it. Craig's taking notes for us. All right, four psychic damage.
[00:07:31] Speaker D: Uh oh.
[00:07:32] Speaker A: And the next attack roll you make, you have disadvantage.
[00:07:35] Speaker D: It's just because he's embarrassed that he's like, are we gonna fight? Yeah, we are gonna fight.
Patrick's like, oh, yeah, that one actually was about me, not fictional batwat. And.
[00:07:52] Speaker A: Yeah, so Nat's grandpa is floating. How far up?
[00:07:57] Speaker D: I don't know how it's hard because we're in turn order, but, like, I don't know, like, 1015. I mean, you could go fully rising. It's kind of dramatic. It's very dramatic.
[00:08:06] Speaker A: Okay. Out of reach.
[00:08:08] Speaker D: Yeah, out of his sword's reach.
Okay, stop slapping me around with your dull sword.
[00:08:16] Speaker A: All right, so, bathwack, you've been viciously mocked, and your enemy is floating above the ground. Out of reach. How.
[00:08:24] Speaker C: How far up is he floating?
[00:08:26] Speaker A: Sounds like ten. Well, no, ten probably isn't enough. 15ft.
[00:08:31] Speaker C: I'm gonna throw a javelin at him.
[00:08:33] Speaker D: Yay.
[00:08:34] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:08:35] Speaker D: I get to get hit by a bathwalk. Javelin.
[00:08:37] Speaker A: Well, maybe.
[00:08:38] Speaker D: I am honored. Cheers.
[00:08:41] Speaker C: Actually, you're close enough for a spear man. My rolls are terrible.
[00:08:46] Speaker A: 14 to hit. Hits, right?
That hits. All right, so you take nine piercing damage.
[00:08:54] Speaker C: Oh, no, it's disadvantage. Sorry.
[00:08:56] Speaker A: Oh, that's true.
[00:08:57] Speaker C: Because.
[00:09:00] Speaker A: Vicious mockery. Let's just roll a D 20. We'll take the OH 13.
[00:09:07] Speaker C: All right, so I miss you.
[00:09:09] Speaker D: I go like, eh. I just, like, do a little dance. Move out of the way.
[00:09:13] Speaker A: No, you don't even have to. It's.
[00:09:14] Speaker D: He.
[00:09:14] Speaker A: He second guesses himself. He's gonna stab, and then he's like, aw.
Thinking. Wait, did will actually mean that last insult? And then he kind of misses.
Rufina, Roscoe, anything you want to add?
[00:09:28] Speaker B: In here, Rufina is saying, go get him, bath boy.
Trying to cheer him on, but really hating everything that's happening.
Okay, kill him.
[00:09:46] Speaker D: Kill him.
[00:09:49] Speaker A: Mo has run out of the ale house.
[00:09:53] Speaker D: Mo forgot the plan.
[00:09:55] Speaker A: He runs up and he says, batweh.
[00:09:59] Speaker E: You need me to throw you?
[00:10:03] Speaker D: He.
[00:10:05] Speaker E: Is Mo most dressed up as somebody right there. Or she me.
[00:10:08] Speaker A: Is she me?
[00:10:09] Speaker E: Is Moe's just Mo most. Mo most just Mo. Okay.
[00:10:12] Speaker A: She means only dressed up, too. So that way it's not suspicious, the lack of a Valencio.
[00:10:18] Speaker E: I think one thing Roscoe would be doing is going up to the guy who fired the crossbow and just being like, hey, that was really good. And, like, admiring the crossbow, but trying to, like, basically make it so that this guy can't fire.
[00:10:32] Speaker A: Yeah, he was trying to reload. I love that. Yeah, he would have been like, oh, shot.
[00:10:37] Speaker E: Oh, wait, what model is that?
[00:10:39] Speaker A: I think I need to, you know, just.
[00:10:43] Speaker E: Oh, man. What kind of. What kind of horsepower does this thing have?
[00:10:47] Speaker D: Stop it, stop it.
[00:10:48] Speaker A: I want to.
[00:10:49] Speaker E: Really good shot. Where did you train?
[00:10:53] Speaker A: And he's gonna try to push you away.
[00:10:55] Speaker D: Oh.
[00:10:57] Speaker A: So you need to make an either a strength or a deck save and beat an eleven.
All right, he pushes you away, and you happen to you're able to snatch the crossbow straight out of his hands.
[00:11:28] Speaker D: Wait a minute. Is this a knockoff?
[00:11:32] Speaker E: If you look at this, you can see this isn't the exact brand name.
This isn't a.
This isn't a Gucci crossbow.
[00:11:46] Speaker A: What is it?
[00:11:48] Speaker E: A fouching crossbow.
[00:11:54] Speaker D: Wow. It shoots vaccines.
[00:11:57] Speaker E: Where did you buy this? Did you buy this, like, from a street vendor?
[00:12:03] Speaker A: Give it back to me.
[00:12:04] Speaker E: Give it back.
[00:12:06] Speaker A: All right, so you have. You have rendered this guy ineffectual, at least at shooting crossbow bolts.
[00:12:12] Speaker E: Here, let me. Let me try. This is my friend. I want to help out.
[00:12:17] Speaker D: That's amazing.
[00:12:21] Speaker E: He starts aiming the crossbow, but he's holding it backwards.
[00:12:25] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[00:12:29] Speaker E: Am I doing it right?
[00:12:32] Speaker A: Oh, he. As soon as he sees you trying to handle it, he gives you a wide berth.
[00:12:42] Speaker E: He gives birth to me.
[00:12:43] Speaker A: Yeah, widely.
[00:12:45] Speaker D: Whoa.
[00:12:46] Speaker E: Easily.
[00:12:46] Speaker A: That's what it takes.
[00:12:47] Speaker D: Come on.
[00:12:50] Speaker A: Will.
You're floating up in the air. Yeah, Bathwick tried to stab you.
You don't see any more crossbow bolts? Immediately incoming.
[00:12:59] Speaker D: Okay, but I want to look around. Are there people? Are there crowds gathering?
[00:13:02] Speaker E: Is that so?
[00:13:03] Speaker A: Like, not very close, but yes, far enough. Like, in safe distance. There are clumps of people starting to gather to watch this all.
[00:13:11] Speaker D: And where we are in front of the mug, we're in front of the mug. But, like, we were gonna go to this. This place. This.
[00:13:18] Speaker A: You were gonna try to maybe go through the market?
[00:13:20] Speaker D: Yeah.
Can I tell whether there are a bunch of people there? Like, can I tell from my height or if I have. If I. If I venture higher and just cast bonfire and maybe tell Bathwack? Like, I'm just checking to see if people are watching me and if you fucking hit me that hard again. Oh, man.
[00:13:41] Speaker A: Yeah, you can do that. What do you. You also create and bonfire?
[00:13:45] Speaker D: Yeah. Like, where I can just. Just. It's just to get people, like, I'm just asking.
[00:13:50] Speaker A: I wasn't sure what that meant.
[00:13:51] Speaker D: Like, at the corner, like, okay, so where I am, like, I create bonfire. Can I put a circle I don't know how to click and hold at an intersection where I feel like maybe other people can't see what's going on, but maybe if they see a fire spontaneously combust in the middle of the street, they'll be like, what the hell's going on? And they'll come on over.
[00:14:08] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:14:09] Speaker D: I'm just trying to grab, you know, get more people to look at us while seeing whether there are enough people to.
[00:14:16] Speaker C: So you just flew way out of range? Like, you just flew down the street or something?
[00:14:20] Speaker D: Um, I more just try. Well, I'm trying to subtly, like, look like I'm still just focused on you, but also see if I can somehow see. Oh, I don't have Bernard. See if I can somehow see if.
If people are out. Like, is it.
[00:14:36] Speaker A: If you fly towards that intersection, like, down to the southwest, you kind of get a view down multiple, which. What, assuming up is north?
[00:14:47] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:14:48] Speaker A: If you fly. Do you see where your dude is?
[00:14:50] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:14:50] Speaker A: If you fly to, like, here.
[00:14:52] Speaker D: Oh, just the tiniest bit. I'm like, yeah, I'm already there. Okay. Yes.
[00:14:55] Speaker A: Then you can see to the west, you can see to the south, and you can see it to the west, where, you know, the end of the market is. You do see people kind of streaming pretty regularly from there.
Maybe bits of them are starting to be pulled towards this direction, but not the most people seem to be going about their business down there. And, yeah, as far as you can tell, the market is hopping.
[00:15:18] Speaker C: So what, we were going to take the fight over the market, make a mess.
[00:15:21] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:15:22] Speaker C: And then get a crowd and then get into some kind of chase up to.
Yeah, I'm not sure who's chasing who, but I guess we'll figure that out.
[00:15:31] Speaker D: Yeah. I don't know. So far, it's been will and bathwack just measuring each other's penises or something, because we won't run anywhere. We're like, I'm not gonna be the one that runs. You. No, me. No, not me. You. No, not me. That's literally what's happening.
[00:15:49] Speaker A: And you guys. You guys had time enough last night to scope all this out. So, the map, you see, you know, the general layout. Just so you know, it's not unknown to you.
[00:16:00] Speaker D: Okay, well, I think I said something in a message. What did I say?
[00:16:05] Speaker A: I said, if you hit me that hard again, I'll kill you.
[00:16:09] Speaker D: I don't know exactly where to. God. But also, I'm checking things out. Didn't I say that? Wasn't that the first part of what I said? That was what I meant. I intended to tell him that I'm looking to make sure that there's enough people to watch us.
[00:16:23] Speaker A: Okay, cool.
[00:16:24] Speaker D: But that means I didn't say anything out loud, but I cast bond message, and you.
[00:16:28] Speaker A: Bonfire.
[00:16:29] Speaker D: Okay, that's a lot. That's too many things for one turn. But hopefully this is choreographed.
[00:16:33] Speaker A: All right, bathwater. So, yeah, Will, uh, Nat's grandpa. Sorry. Floats away. You get that message in your head. A fire springs up, kind of not near you. What are you doing?
[00:16:44] Speaker C: Where. Where's the fire, by the way?
[00:16:46] Speaker D: At this intersection where Eric just.
[00:16:48] Speaker A: Oh, like, below where Will is now, but.
[00:16:50] Speaker C: Okay, so it's outside the tavern and, like, down to the southwest. Yep, there's an intersection, and it was.
[00:16:56] Speaker D: Just to get people to look our way. If I can get more people to try to find out what's going on.
[00:17:03] Speaker C: Well, I mean, I'm going to chase you. I need to, like, I need you. I need to run you out of town, I guess.
[00:17:12] Speaker D: You want to chase me. You think I'm scared of you, Bathwhack.
[00:17:15] Speaker C: Yeah, sure, right? I'm going to chase him. I'm going to throw another javelin at him.
[00:17:18] Speaker D: I love that. I love that. There's this discussion again. This is ridiculous. Two stupid idiots. Can't just one of you run? Come on. And by you, I mean you. Bath whack.
[00:17:33] Speaker C: That's funny. I feel like we. We each. We talked about having the chase, and we each assumed the other one was doing the running.
[00:17:40] Speaker D: Absolutely. Absolutely. I love this very much.
[00:17:45] Speaker A: All right, you take ten piercing damage, Will.
[00:17:49] Speaker D: Great.
Wait. Okay, wait. So tell me how that hits me. Does it pierce me, like, again? Magic is weird. What the hell?
[00:17:58] Speaker A: Magic.
[00:17:59] Speaker D: Yes, I know, but you've said that the only. Yes, but, Will. But Will. I'm sorry, but Eric has explained to me before how I'm very confused. Like, how does a regular guy walk around with no armor, and he's like, you have, like, magic to you that makes things, like, not hit you.
[00:18:16] Speaker A: You can also just dodge.
[00:18:17] Speaker D: Yes, but he hit me for ten piercing. So where did it hit me? Like, what happened?
[00:18:21] Speaker C: I mean, maybe it just glanced. Maybe it just was a glancing strike. Or maybe.
[00:18:26] Speaker D: Yeah, tell me.
[00:18:27] Speaker C: Maybe I'm not running away from you.
Maybe. And maybe in the morning, bathwax screwed, unscrewed the tips off of all of his spears.
[00:18:39] Speaker D: Well, what does that mean? Stabbed with the stub? No. Yeah.
[00:18:43] Speaker A: It's all bludgeoning damage. It's half damage and it's bludgeoning. So you took five bludgeoning damage, not ten piercing damage.
[00:18:49] Speaker D: Do I actually do that? Do you really want me to do that? Oh, wow. That's rad 12345. Thanks.
[00:18:55] Speaker A: Thunk.
[00:18:55] Speaker D: Got those back. Ow. Stabbing me. No, I'm just kidding.
[00:19:00] Speaker C: Still hurts.
[00:19:01] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:19:01] Speaker C: I didn't throw it softly right in.
[00:19:03] Speaker D: The knee, do I really? So would I have known that he removed the tips? Like, should I make myself look like I'm bleeding? That's what I do. I make myself look like I'm bleeding from the leg or wherever he hit me. Like, I'm like, ah. I'm very dramatic. And I take it. I'm like, ah.
[00:19:20] Speaker A: You know, you rip off the pants there or whatever, you end up naked by the end of this.
[00:19:25] Speaker D: Whoa.
[00:19:26] Speaker A: You make sure to pull off a scrap.
[00:19:28] Speaker C: That's a strip tool.
[00:19:37] Speaker D: Okay, so what was. So he hit me with a thing. Did he say anything? We were talking in our heads. Who's gonna run? You gotta fucking run, pathwack. Okay, you want me to run?
[00:19:46] Speaker C: I'm running you out of town.
[00:19:48] Speaker D: I'm running you out of town.
[00:19:51] Speaker C: Then get to it.
[00:19:53] Speaker D: Oh, yeah? You want me to fucking hit you again?
[00:19:55] Speaker B: Cause I will.
[00:19:57] Speaker D: What is it gonna take? What are you gonna. And I realize we're just talking, and I'm like, ha ha ha. I just, like, laugh out loud. I realize that everything we said so far was silent. So I just do a big evil laugh.
[00:20:09] Speaker A: You're both just.
[00:20:10] Speaker D: I like a pose, like Gaston. Like, ha ha. But then I realize I'm old, and I'm like, ugh. And I crack my back. Yeah, that's right.
What was the last thing that was said out loud? Shit, I don't know. It's been like 30 minutes.
[00:20:24] Speaker A: What was it you said? You're gonna make this. Let this town stand up for you.
[00:20:30] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:20:31] Speaker A: That's a lot of talk.
[00:20:33] Speaker D: That's a lot of talk. Is that what Batwex said?
[00:20:35] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:20:35] Speaker A: Or something like that.
[00:20:37] Speaker D: Yeah, of course you don't want to talk.
[00:20:39] Speaker C: Then I knocked you on the ground.
[00:20:40] Speaker A: Right.
[00:20:40] Speaker C: Then you flew up in the air and you knocked. Yeah, I threw a spear at you, and I missed, and then you flew down the.
I don't know. I don't remember if you said some. Oh, vicious mockery.
[00:20:50] Speaker D: Yeah, that's true.
[00:20:51] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:20:53] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:20:55] Speaker E: I will say that this is, like. This is, like, noises off or, like, the play that goes wrong level. Like, the two actors refuse to, like, do the chase scene, right?
[00:21:05] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:21:05] Speaker D: Yeah. Exactly. It's ridiculous. I love that. I hate it for everyone else involved, but I love it for the story. Just because that's so true.
[00:21:15] Speaker C: Let's just. Let me. I'll chase you up to the market, and then you. Then the tide will turn, and then you'll turn. Start. Yeah, and.
[00:21:23] Speaker D: Yeah, and then I'll chase you out.
[00:21:25] Speaker C: Of town, and then it'll turn again. I don't know.
[00:21:27] Speaker D: Go.
[00:21:29] Speaker A: So I.
[00:21:29] Speaker E: So ice, let's Roscoe have an idea, but I don't know if Roscoe's able. Roscoe can't, like, message Kendrick unless.
[00:21:36] Speaker A: Not without a reply. Yeah.
[00:21:38] Speaker E: Yeah. Roscoe will yell out, like, bath whack. At this point. He's just taunting you.
[00:21:46] Speaker D: Just let him go.
[00:21:48] Speaker E: Stop going after him. He's just taunting you.
Trying to highlight that. Like, chasing doesn't always have to. Like. Like.
Or something. Like. Yeah, like, a chase doesn't have to be the person being chased doesn't have to be running away.
It could be taunting.
[00:22:08] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. Roscoe's got a point.
Like, you're not.
Yeah. You're not doing anything. You're not hurting anyone.
[00:22:18] Speaker D: I set everything on fire.
[00:22:22] Speaker A: Create town fire.
[00:22:27] Speaker D: Again. This is. It's weird because, like, I know we're in an initiative. I want to keep that, but, like, also, I just want to set shit on fire. Sure. Like, I'll set dumb shit on fire. I don't want to, like, set whole homes on fire or anything, but I will. I don't mind if a home is set on fire. Yeah, whatever. There's no stalls here.
[00:22:43] Speaker A: That's.
[00:22:44] Speaker D: A horse is set on fire for sure. The sign of the inn. No, that's, like, lame. I just. You know.
Yeah. Like, I. Eldritch blast again around him or at him or something. I don't know.
[00:22:58] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:22:58] Speaker D: Like, I'm just trying to cause a spectacle, but I don't know if Beth Wack's gonna chase me or whatever. It's fine.
[00:23:04] Speaker A: I don't either.
[00:23:05] Speaker D: We don't chase each other. I just fly down, and I start to pretend strangle him. Like Roscoe taught me.
[00:23:11] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:23:15] Speaker C: Which. Is that actually happening?
[00:23:16] Speaker D: No, not really. I don't know what happened last. You hit me with a javelin, and then Roscoe yelled out, bath Wacky's just taunting you. Just let him go.
[00:23:25] Speaker C: Yeah. And I'll turn. So I'll turn back to Roscoe. I just. I gotta watch this guy, and.
I mean, he's already hurt people, but you're right.
[00:23:36] Speaker D: Okay, I'll fly down and pretend to kick Beth whack in the back.
[00:23:42] Speaker A: Pretend like.
[00:23:44] Speaker D: But kick him, but, like. You know what I mean? Like, obviously, I'm not trying to kill him, but, like. Yeah, I. Sure. I want to make it look real. I. I don't know how to roll that. Kick him. All right, I kick him. Old man kick.
[00:23:55] Speaker A: Do you have unarmed strike on your character sheet at all in the attack section? You probably don't.
[00:24:03] Speaker D: I don't, actually.
[00:24:05] Speaker A: So it's gonna be.
It's a D 20, plus your strength, which is minus one, four. Okay. Yeah, yeah. You don't really hit him. I mean, you. You feel something hit your back, bath whack, but it doesn't really do anything to you.
[00:24:25] Speaker C: Oh, well, can I react like I.
Can I drop forward, like, onto my knees, like I've been hit?
[00:24:34] Speaker D: Sure.
[00:24:34] Speaker C: Like, I'll fall heavily. Heavily forward onto.
[00:24:38] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:24:39] Speaker C: On. Onto my knees.
[00:24:40] Speaker A: Yep. So it looks like Nat's Grandpa just kicked Bathwack in the back.
[00:24:47] Speaker D: Can I also cast prestidigitate to make it look like I'm hitting him with some kind of magic, like sparklies or something. Just so prestidigitate around my feet.
[00:24:56] Speaker A: Scarves explode out from the Kickstarter scarf kick.
[00:25:01] Speaker C: And then I'm gonna grab Will and I'm gonna throw him as hard as I can down toward the market.
[00:25:11] Speaker A: Do you let him grab you, Will?
[00:25:14] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:25:14] Speaker A: Okay. Okay, cool.
[00:25:17] Speaker C: He's flying, so, I mean.
[00:25:18] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah. I just want to make sure that.
[00:25:21] Speaker D: He'S just trying to go with whatever idea.
[00:25:23] Speaker C: So is this some kind of athletics thing or what?
[00:25:26] Speaker A: Not really doing. There's no real role. You guys are working together, so. Yeah. You.
[00:25:31] Speaker C: All right?
[00:25:31] Speaker A: Grab them by the leg. Maybe that kicked you and whip him down.
[00:25:35] Speaker C: Yeah, but I want to try to move the fight toward the market, so I really want to try to, like, call him over there, even if. Even if it means I throw him and hits the ground. I mean, but he can fly, so I'm not.
[00:25:45] Speaker A: Yeah. So, will, how do you sell that?
Or nat's grandpa. Excuse me?
[00:25:50] Speaker D: How do I sell what again? I'm sorry.
[00:25:52] Speaker A: Threw you.
[00:25:53] Speaker D: I throw myself.
[00:25:54] Speaker A: You're flying. So where. Where. What do you do?
[00:25:56] Speaker D: Do you land at the ground?
[00:25:59] Speaker A: He's throwing you back down the road.
[00:26:01] Speaker D: Grappling me towards the market. Flew at him. He is.
[00:26:05] Speaker A: You kicked him rowing me. Yeah, he went down on his legs, hands and knees turned around. I picture him grabbing your leg, which is still out, maybe.
[00:26:14] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:26:14] Speaker A: And then whipping you.
[00:26:16] Speaker D: Okay. I fall like I did before when he actually hit me with a sword. Like, I fly. I let the boots. I don't know if. Is it too slow motion looking if I.
[00:26:25] Speaker A: No, you can fly pretty fast. Yeah.
[00:26:32] Speaker D: I immediately get up, and I grab some citizen, preferably a child or a woman.
[00:26:39] Speaker A: Oh, okay.
[00:26:40] Speaker C: Preferably someone who looks like nat.
[00:26:42] Speaker D: Preferably that.
[00:26:44] Speaker C: No, I don't.
[00:26:45] Speaker D: Yes, and I. Preferably a cute woman without my knife or whatever. I have a small. I know I have a small knife. I've never talked about it, but it is in my thing.
[00:27:00] Speaker A: Never talk about it.
[00:27:01] Speaker D: I never. I never.
[00:27:01] Speaker A: First rule of Will's knife.
[00:27:03] Speaker D: We talk about Will's.
[00:27:06] Speaker A: Will's knife.
[00:27:06] Speaker B: Knife, Will's knife, knife, knife.
[00:27:09] Speaker A: Ra, ra.
[00:27:12] Speaker D: I have nail clippers. I know that I have small knife. Look, there it is. Small knife.
[00:27:19] Speaker A: An emery board.
[00:27:21] Speaker D: I grab some citizen. Like, I get up from the throw. I grab some citizens.
[00:27:27] Speaker A: Yeah, he kind of throws you into the crowd.
[00:27:29] Speaker D: I press the digitate, some kind of sparkly ness on the knife that I have this knife that I pull out, and I hold it to the. And I laugh as, you know, maniacally as I can, and I pull that person into the sky, but towards the market, because I think. I think I can gather that bathwax trying to get me to go towards the market. Yeah.
[00:27:48] Speaker A: And that was the plan.
[00:27:49] Speaker D: But I'm not running away. I'm taking a hostage.
[00:27:52] Speaker A: Oh, okay.
[00:27:52] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm gonna. Okay, is it.
[00:27:56] Speaker A: Yeah, sure.
[00:27:56] Speaker C: Is it my turn or. Oh, I'm gonna pull out the. The mirror that will just bought me, and I'm going to very visibly this time, you know, with large hand gestures and, you know, speaking audibly, I'm gonna cast sanctuary to try to protect the child.
[00:28:20] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:28:20] Speaker D: Yeah, we. We don't know it. Was it a child?
[00:28:22] Speaker A: Young woman.
[00:28:24] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:28:24] Speaker C: Okay. Okay.
So if you plan to target her with an attack, like, a real attack or a harmful spell, then you have to make a wisdom save. But I'm just.
[00:28:36] Speaker D: Trust me, Beth.
[00:28:37] Speaker C: No, no, it has to look real.
[00:28:42] Speaker D: So, yeah, yeah. So does she feel that or some dumb shit?
[00:28:47] Speaker A: It's visible, like, it's like this shining aura. How does it work? He has to make a save. And then what if he fails?
He has to pick a different target.
[00:28:57] Speaker D: What's my save?
[00:28:59] Speaker C: Yeah, you have to pick a different target or lose the attack.
[00:29:02] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:29:02] Speaker D: What's my save?
[00:29:03] Speaker A: What kind of a save is it? A wisdom save.
[00:29:05] Speaker C: Wisdom.
[00:29:06] Speaker D: DC 16?
[00:29:06] Speaker A: Yeah, you have to make a wisdom save.
[00:29:08] Speaker C: DC 16.
[00:29:09] Speaker A: So you fail.
[00:29:10] Speaker D: I fail. So can I tell, like, this is just a DNd question. Can I tell that I will fail if I try to stab this lady?
[00:29:17] Speaker A: You could fail, like.
[00:29:19] Speaker D: So I try to, like, push it at her, and I realize it's not actually even going well.
[00:29:24] Speaker A: I mean, are you actually trying to stab her?
[00:29:25] Speaker D: No, I was trying to threaten this person.
[00:29:28] Speaker A: That doesn't stop them.
She's struggling like crazy. Yeah, I'm trying to.
[00:29:34] Speaker D: Do I need to roll anything?
[00:29:35] Speaker A: No, you're okay.
[00:29:36] Speaker D: Okay. I'm so strong, you guys.
Strength. Negative one.
[00:29:42] Speaker A: Yeah, so, yeah, so, yeah, like, unless you're actually trying to stab her, you can get the knife as close to her as you want. It's about the intent.
[00:29:52] Speaker D: Well, I make a big deal out of making it look like I'm trying to stab her, but the spell won't work because of my arm. Won't work? That's.
[00:30:00] Speaker A: Grandpa. Anything to say about that?
[00:30:04] Speaker D: No. I'm flying away at. Flying towards the market with. With trying to stab this lady. I'm frustrated. He's getting away.
Good job, Mo.
[00:30:15] Speaker C: All right, well, I'm gonna give other people a chance to do something if.
Because I think.
[00:30:20] Speaker A: Yep. Rafina, they haven't.
[00:30:23] Speaker B: Go, Beth.
[00:30:24] Speaker D: Work. Go.
[00:30:27] Speaker A: Roscoe.
You eating more plaster?
Yeah, it's actually kind of good.
[00:30:37] Speaker E: Rascoe's sitting on the crossbow now just snacking on plaster.
[00:30:45] Speaker A: What are you actually doing?
[00:30:47] Speaker E: Um, I mean, yeah, the last thing I was doing was you.
[00:30:51] Speaker A: Yeah, you sufficiently distracted him. Now they're kind of. Will's out of range enough that you're not too worried about this guy with this crossbow? I mean, he might follow along, but.
[00:31:05] Speaker E: Abby, is Rafina following along toward the market?
[00:31:11] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:31:12] Speaker E: I mean, yes, that was the plan, is that Rafina would follow them for the chase, and Roscoe will hang behind.
[00:31:21] Speaker B: It's almost like Rufina is trying really hard to not call lightning.
Be a part of it, but not, like, get in the way.
[00:31:33] Speaker C: Sure.
[00:31:33] Speaker B: There's clearly an internal struggle.
[00:31:37] Speaker D: Oh, man. I feel like I, as will want to tell Rufina to get involved. It's okay. Like, you want to make this thing. I would send her something like that.
[00:31:46] Speaker A: Go ahead. Say what?
[00:31:47] Speaker D: Don't actually kill me, but you can try to look like you kill me as I try to stab this poor lady who's screaming and is terrified.
Shut up.
[00:32:04] Speaker B: Don't kill anybody, Will.
[00:32:06] Speaker D: Okay, fine.
[00:32:06] Speaker B: I'll come and pretend to kill you or hurt you or something.
[00:32:10] Speaker C: Gonna create a tornado over the fruit stand.
Oh, it's. Yeah. So second pineapple war.
[00:32:21] Speaker E: Roscoe will watch as Rafina kind of follows after them, and he will, like, do something he'll, like purposefully. He's gonna try to make it look like an accident, but, like, break the crossbow or something.
[00:32:38] Speaker A: Take out the firing pin.
[00:32:40] Speaker E: Yeah, take out the firing pin or something.
Yeah, it is with these Fauci. With these Fauci crossbow.
[00:32:49] Speaker D: Oh, shit. Sorry.
[00:32:51] Speaker A: I forgot about the Faucius. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:32:53] Speaker C: It's a firing rolling pin.
[00:32:58] Speaker E: Or he'll just. He fired, like, whatever bolt. If there was a bolt loaded or something, he, like, fired it, like, into the ground or something, and then he just, like, pushes it back to the guy. He's like, this thing sucks. Let's broke it. Doesn't work.
[00:33:16] Speaker A: Give it back to me.
[00:33:19] Speaker E: And then he'll kind of chase after behind. Finite.
[00:33:23] Speaker A: All right.
[00:33:24] Speaker E: But that has been. He did sabotage the crossbow. It shouldn't work.
[00:33:28] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:33:29] Speaker E: Without the firing pin.
[00:33:31] Speaker D: Sure.
[00:33:36] Speaker C: Will.
[00:33:37] Speaker A: You're floating with this poor woman towards the market.
[00:33:41] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:33:42] Speaker A: Okay. And everybody's following after.
[00:33:45] Speaker C: Yep.
[00:33:46] Speaker A: So, yeah, you get to the north end of this. This market street, and it is, in fact, bustling the north end. Things have quiet down a little bit because there's more and more attention is being drawn towards you guys. But most of it, people seem to be sort of oblivious of what's going on. There's people hawking various wares. There are, in fact, fruits and vegetables and breads. There are rugs and textiles, clothing, things you might expect to see at a market such as this. There's some. Some meats both dead and waiting to be slaughtered, like chickens and things like that. So lots of stuff going on here at the market. You can find it at the market.
[00:34:30] Speaker D: You're talking about flea market.
[00:34:33] Speaker A: So what do you do?
[00:34:35] Speaker D: Me?
[00:34:36] Speaker A: Yeah, you talking to you next.
[00:34:39] Speaker D: Grandpa is that's why chasing me? Yeah, like, everyone is.
[00:34:42] Speaker A: Everybody's following along.
[00:34:44] Speaker D: Okay.
This lady, I can't stab her, so I drop her on a stall from how high not. I'm not trying to kill her, but she might get a broken limb or two. Oh, well, that's all I'm gonna say. Will doesn't really care, you know, collateral damage.
[00:35:04] Speaker A: She falls onto the stall.
[00:35:11] Speaker D: So. Okay, like, Will is just going to start causing chaos. Like, more than might be prepared for. He's going to start, like, you know, setting a couple stalls on fire with people's livelihoods and shit. Okay, see, what does.
[00:35:26] Speaker A: How you gonna do that bonfire? Create it. You're gonna create a bonfire?
Okay. That's an action, right?
[00:35:35] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:35:36] Speaker A: Okay. So you can make one at a time.
[00:35:37] Speaker D: All right, listen, initiative, let's get this going. It's 1055.
[00:35:42] Speaker A: All right.
[00:35:43] Speaker C: All right, I'm going to use an action to make one of my toothless spears a holy weapon. Okay, so it emits a bright light now.
[00:35:58] Speaker A: Cool.
[00:35:59] Speaker C: And I'm going to cast thunderous smite again, I hope. Sorry, will.
[00:36:09] Speaker D: I'm okay.
[00:36:12] Speaker C: And then I'm gonna try to. I'm gonna try to knock him out of the sky with it under smite.
[00:36:17] Speaker A: Thunderous.
[00:36:18] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:36:19] Speaker A: All right, go for it. Roll your attack.
[00:36:21] Speaker C: All right, so that's plus. It's plus five damage to. Well, it just says plus five. I assume it's. Well, let me find out on what.
[00:36:36] Speaker A: The holy weapon thing.
[00:36:37] Speaker C: You had plus five to attack rolls made with that weapon.
[00:36:39] Speaker A: Oh, wow. Okay, well, that's a 32 to hit. Does that hit?
[00:36:44] Speaker D: No.
[00:36:45] Speaker A: Oh, okay, never mind.
All right, so, yeah, that hits. That does eleven damage. And you need to make a strength saving throw, if I remember correctly, from earlier in the session.
[00:36:58] Speaker C: Yep. Does it only. Does it. Does it do half damage? Because it's.
[00:37:02] Speaker A: Oh, that's true. Yeah. You take six bludgeoning damage from the actual spear hitting you.
[00:37:11] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:37:12] Speaker C: My intent is to bring him down into some of the stands.
[00:37:17] Speaker D: Yeah, sure. I will, uh.
Choreography. Fickle.
I will fall into the stands, but I'm still flying. Like, if I. If I think that that's.
[00:37:29] Speaker A: Well, it depends. You have to make the save.
[00:37:31] Speaker D: Oh, what save?
[00:37:32] Speaker A: Strength. Save.
[00:37:33] Speaker C: It's gonna look really real.
[00:37:34] Speaker A: If you fail, you're gonna fall prone.
[00:37:36] Speaker D: All right, cool. He keeps doing.
[00:37:38] Speaker A: Yeah, you fail.
[00:37:39] Speaker D: Okay, so I fly into the.
[00:37:41] Speaker A: So, yeah, you fall out of the sky.
[00:37:43] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[00:37:45] Speaker C: You. You also take eight thunder damage.
[00:37:51] Speaker D: Oh, my gosh. Okay, this is starting to get real.
[00:37:54] Speaker C: And it's a really loud boom. Right? Like a thunderclap.
[00:38:00] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:38:00] Speaker D: Will, you gotta look real.
[00:38:01] Speaker A: Must look real backwards and crash down into a rug stand, and the awning shatters, and, you know, rips. And you. You plop down into this stand that's selling different sized rugs and things like that. It's a pretty hard landing.
[00:38:23] Speaker C: Yeah, good news. I'm out of spears. Now. All I have are the javelins that I didn't take the points off of.
[00:38:29] Speaker D: Awesome.
I am going to. Wait, no, wait. Whose turn is it? It's other people's turn.
[00:38:39] Speaker A: Yeah, uh, Roscoe's turn.
[00:38:44] Speaker E: I'm not doing anything of note, okay?
[00:38:47] Speaker D: I am.
[00:38:47] Speaker E: Just keep following and watching.
[00:38:50] Speaker A: Okay, Rafina.
[00:38:53] Speaker B: Rafina pulls out her crossbow and holds it with the wrong hand.
[00:39:03] Speaker A: Nice.
[00:39:05] Speaker B: And aims it at will. And squints it. Doesn't really aim it at will, but tries to make it look like she's aiming at will. I'm not sure if I need to performance check. In addition to actually shooting the thing.
[00:39:21] Speaker A: Are you going to fire it?
[00:39:22] Speaker B: I'm going to fire it.
[00:39:24] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:39:25] Speaker B: Of course I'm going to fire it.
[00:39:27] Speaker A: So give me an attack roll with disadvantage.
[00:39:31] Speaker B: Okay.
A tuck roll with my crossbow.
[00:39:43] Speaker A: But since you're a halfling, you get to roll again.
[00:39:48] Speaker B: All right, well, I didn't, so just.
[00:39:50] Speaker A: Do a regular attack.
[00:39:53] Speaker B: Just having a one. Just a reg. Like, not. Not with disadvantage.
[00:39:58] Speaker A: Correct. This will just replace that one that you roll.
[00:40:01] Speaker B: Oh, got it.
[00:40:02] Speaker A: And then we'll still take whichever one's lower.
[00:40:06] Speaker B: You betcha.
[00:40:08] Speaker A: Because you can't miss that bad.
[00:40:12] Speaker B: Sure I can. I did it again.
[00:40:17] Speaker E: What are the chances? I love it.
[00:40:20] Speaker D: Wow, I love this so much. Because even if it ruins everything, I love it. I, too, naturally.
[00:40:27] Speaker B: Does it mean that I hit will?
[00:40:30] Speaker A: No, you hit this person that just ran. Scream, ran out of their booth. You strike them dead in the chest with your bolt.
Uh oh.
[00:40:43] Speaker D: That changes everything.
Hopefully nobody saw that. Nobody saw it. Don't look at that. Look over here, Rufina.
Yeah, totally.
[00:40:55] Speaker B: Oh, I scream.
[00:40:58] Speaker D: I missed.
[00:40:58] Speaker B: And I run to the person and immediately heal them with everything I have. And I spend the diamond.
I might spend the diamond.
[00:41:07] Speaker D: Does she have to. Oh, stop looking at us like that. What do you. Does she.
God damn it. He just is smiling.
[00:41:16] Speaker A: So you get to the person and they are dead.
You dealt them twelve damage. Their hit points were three. Oh, so they are dead dead.
[00:41:29] Speaker D: Oh, my God. Oh, no.
[00:41:34] Speaker C: They'Re dead. Like, can't be brought back dead, right?
[00:41:37] Speaker A: Well, they're dead. Like, lay on hands and healing word won't work. Dead. You have a round of combat to figure out what you're gonna do.
Let's see here, Will.
[00:41:50] Speaker B: Now I'm mad.
[00:41:51] Speaker D: Okay, I see that. Do I see that happen? Yeah, I don't give a fuck.
[00:41:57] Speaker A: You just wanted to make sure to say that.
[00:41:59] Speaker D: I mean, honestly. It's true. Will honestly expected, potentially, people to die during this scenario with what's going to happen.
[00:42:07] Speaker E: He's.
[00:42:08] Speaker D: That's the thing. Like, he's. Like, we have to convince. Listen, this is world saving shit, Roscoe. This is a world saving shit. The bigger picture is all that matters. Says will in his head. That's all that matters. We need to convince everyone that Bathwick is dead, that this is real, and that Juliet rusher needs to know that. Oh, that's not somebody we need to mess with so we can get to fucking Gully's end and kill the sliver. That's all that matters. That is what all will think. So he does not give a shit. He's like, oh, no, actually, no. He cares for Rafina. Because if he sees that he knows Rufina is now. That's all she's going to be focused on. Like, that's awful for her, but I still have a job to do, and that is not out of character because that's my whole life, so that happens. And I burst out of the stall that I fell into as a giant crab.
[00:43:08] Speaker A: As a crab?
[00:43:09] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:43:11] Speaker C: Whoa.
[00:43:11] Speaker B: What?
[00:43:12] Speaker C: That's cool.
[00:43:15] Speaker D: Like, the crab that I was under the lake with it. Yeah. Like, that's why I'm familiar with that shape. I just love the idea of, like, a crab.
[00:43:21] Speaker E: Like, dong, dong, dong.
[00:43:23] Speaker D: Coming out like, apples flying everywhere.
Yeah, the crabs are scary.
[00:43:31] Speaker A: That's Rafina.
[00:43:32] Speaker C: That's so awesome. That's gonna scare everyone. And you're huge. So, like, it's. Yeah. Gonna be really convincing.
[00:43:40] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:43:40] Speaker C: Time for me to run.
[00:43:41] Speaker A: What spell is that?
[00:43:42] Speaker D: That's polymorph. Thank you for telling me down. Thank you. I got it.
[00:43:48] Speaker B: I'm pretty sure the person I killed had a terminal illness.
[00:43:53] Speaker D: That's justifying not using the diamond next time. I agree.
That person definitely had.
[00:44:00] Speaker A: They were gonna die.
[00:44:01] Speaker C: They only had. They only had 50 years to live.
[00:44:08] Speaker D: Oh, geez. Oh, this. I love it, though. Abby, if you use the diamond, we all forgive you. And if anyone doesn't forgive her. Shut up, shut up, shut up. Like, it's beautiful. I love it. Like, that's terrible. Can you imagine? Rufina's like, I'm gonna participate, and then she fucking kills some random poor lady.
[00:44:26] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:44:26] Speaker E: I mean, that's wild. The diamond is just something that the party that you've had for a long while now, right?
[00:44:33] Speaker A: He stole bathwax. Stole it in Morrow's inlet after reopening his bathwick.
[00:44:38] Speaker C: Killed someone.
[00:44:39] Speaker A: Yeah, it was a big deal.
[00:44:40] Speaker E: I mean, yeah.
I mean, it could work really nicely, actually, if.
[00:44:48] Speaker D: And the scary part is because we were gonna use it for bathwhack if something happened to Bathwack.
[00:44:53] Speaker A: Right?
[00:44:53] Speaker D: That's what Raffina.
Rafina is now going to struggle with. Whether she should revive a random loser who got killed in a dumb fight by nothing.
[00:45:03] Speaker E: A random loser by nothing.
[00:45:07] Speaker A: By Rafina herself.
[00:45:09] Speaker E: I like Trent. Civilians who didn't get hit by crossbow.
[00:45:15] Speaker D: You know?
[00:45:17] Speaker E: I like Transvillians who win.
[00:45:27] Speaker D: No. Oh, my God.
Oh.
[00:45:33] Speaker A: All right, so you're crabbing it up.
[00:45:35] Speaker D: I'm crabbing it up.
[00:45:36] Speaker A: That's your action, right? Polymorph.
[00:45:37] Speaker D: Yeah, that's my polymorph.
[00:45:40] Speaker A: All right.
Okay.
Bath whack did I see?
[00:45:47] Speaker C: I guess I saw everything you saw.
[00:45:49] Speaker D: Ah.
[00:45:51] Speaker C: How far away is will? I mean, giant crab?
[00:45:54] Speaker A: Um, I don't know. 20ft.
[00:45:58] Speaker C: All right, I need to look shocked at giant crab. And then also.
Okay, so, Beth, I try. Maybe. I don't know if I need to perform this or not, but. Because I know it's just will, but I think I should look visibly concerned. I should look worried about that crab. Maybe even a little bit afraid for a moment.
[00:46:19] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:46:20] Speaker C: And then, um.
But then I think I should turn and run over to see if this person can be healed. Okay, so I'm going to run over next to Rafina and kneel down.
[00:46:31] Speaker B: There's an arrow in their chest.
[00:46:34] Speaker A: Yeah, there is.
They're. They're clearly dead.
[00:46:38] Speaker C: But they're obviously dead.
[00:46:39] Speaker A: You guys can share some words.
[00:46:41] Speaker C: Oh, geez.
We can bring him back. Or her back. Whoever it is.
[00:46:47] Speaker A: Him.
[00:46:48] Speaker C: We can bring him back.
[00:46:50] Speaker B: How?
[00:46:52] Speaker C: With the diamond.
[00:46:55] Speaker B: This is true.
[00:46:59] Speaker D: Wow.
[00:47:00] Speaker E: Rafina is fucking stone cold.
[00:47:02] Speaker C: Yeah, that's what it's for.
[00:47:04] Speaker D: Oh, bath.
[00:47:07] Speaker B: Listen, bathwack.
This was a result of this farce.
[00:47:14] Speaker D: Oh.
[00:47:17] Speaker B: I think I'm just gonna go to jail.
[00:47:21] Speaker C: I'm gonna take the diamond off of Rafina.
[00:47:24] Speaker D: What?
[00:47:24] Speaker A: Don't you dare take it off. I'm assuming you don't. Do you have it out, Rufina?
[00:47:29] Speaker B: No, of course not.
[00:47:30] Speaker A: She doesn't have it out.
[00:47:32] Speaker C: All right, well, okay.
[00:47:34] Speaker B: It's sewn into the lining of my underwear.
[00:47:38] Speaker A: For a different reason.
[00:47:40] Speaker C: Rafina, just do it.
[00:47:42] Speaker D: Just.
[00:47:42] Speaker C: Just bring him back. We'll get another one.
I'll steal another one. Wink.
[00:47:50] Speaker B: You need to be focused. You need to be focused on what you are doing right now.
[00:47:54] Speaker C: That's why you need to do this right this second.
[00:47:57] Speaker B: No, we actually have, like, ten days.
[00:47:59] Speaker C: No, we don't. We have. We have 1 minute.
[00:48:02] Speaker B: We don't.
[00:48:04] Speaker C: Do you know how your spells work?
[00:48:05] Speaker B: I know how my spell works.
[00:48:07] Speaker C: What is your spell called?
[00:48:11] Speaker B: Just you wait.
[00:48:15] Speaker C: You might have better spells than me.
[00:48:17] Speaker A: I don't know.
In this regard, I think she does.
[00:48:21] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:48:21] Speaker A: Out of character.
[00:48:24] Speaker B: Yep.
My spell out of character is called raised dead.
[00:48:29] Speaker D: Booyah. What do you say to him in character?
[00:48:34] Speaker B: We have time. We need to not act rashly.
[00:48:39] Speaker C: It's a little late for that. Don't go to jail. And then I'm going to stand up and confront will.
[00:48:45] Speaker A: All right, Roscoe, Rafina just killed a dude.
Will turn into a crab.
[00:48:56] Speaker B: Plan.
[00:48:59] Speaker E: Roscoe's turned pale. He's out. Like, I don't know if he's trying to. I'm trying to remember if or decide if there's ever. If there was ever, like, some awful accident, like, during a circus performance.
I think he's just being taken back to when, like, the ringmaster fell into the lion stem and he was, like, so stricken by, like, oh, fuck. That wasn't supposed to happen. Like, he's feeling now like, this wasn't supposed to happen.
He'll just. Yeah, he'll go over and, like, get down on his knees by the body, like, across from Rufina and be like, what the fuck?
This poison's dead. This poison. Voice poison's doid.
[00:49:52] Speaker A: You have to make sure to clarify.
[00:49:54] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah.
[00:49:57] Speaker E: Voice poisons toy.
[00:49:59] Speaker D: Nobody understood.
[00:50:00] Speaker B: Doctor Oivius.
Roscoe, this is insane.
[00:50:09] Speaker D: We could go.
[00:50:12] Speaker B: We need to get through this next moment, and then we can figure it out, right?
[00:50:18] Speaker E: You have a way. You have a way to bring her back? Bring it back?
[00:50:21] Speaker B: Well, I. I do, but it's our backup diamond.
Doesn't it look like this person had a terminal illness?
[00:50:31] Speaker E: Oh, my God.
[00:50:33] Speaker A: Or should have had one anyway.
[00:50:36] Speaker E: I mean, that he looks. He looks like the color's gone out of him a bit, but that might just be from the arrow.
[00:50:44] Speaker D: Like, he might just be losing blood.
[00:50:48] Speaker C: It's a cast. Retroactive terminal illness.
[00:50:56] Speaker E: Germinal illness.
[00:51:00] Speaker D: Meanwhile, Will is just picking up people and eating them in his crab body. No, I'm just kidding.
[00:51:05] Speaker A: What's will doing?
[00:51:06] Speaker D: Will is definitely wait. Like, this is a whole conversation. It's taking time. Will is realizing that they are upset by the death of somebody. Whatever. He's literally. He's picking up people in his big claws, trying not to kill them, but also, like, guys, if we. We need to do this, we need to kill people. He's just waving people.
Waving human bodies around in the street.
[00:51:30] Speaker C: I'm gonna. I'm gonna shout.
I'll draw it away or something like that.
And start. And.
Crap. I don't know how Polymorph works. Will's surrounded by people, right?
[00:51:42] Speaker A: Yeah, kind of.
[00:51:43] Speaker D: Or I guess they probably.
[00:51:44] Speaker A: I mean, there's a bunch of people around, so there's. It's, you know, people are trying to get away, but.
All right, it's not an yes.
[00:51:54] Speaker C: That's why I'm gonna pull out the.
I'm gonna. I am running out of things to throw.
[00:52:00] Speaker D: But.
[00:52:01] Speaker C: But some.
[00:52:03] Speaker A: For some reason.
[00:52:05] Speaker C: For some reason, I have eight apples in my inventory.
[00:52:10] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[00:52:11] Speaker C: Wait, why does anyone. Where'd they come from?
[00:52:13] Speaker D: Probably. I think I remember. It's that, like, the stand that we stopped at, like, in the rutabago. Like, there was some place that had provisions.
[00:52:22] Speaker C: Oh, that's right.
[00:52:22] Speaker D: That's, like, gameplay place or something.
[00:52:24] Speaker C: The hippo place?
[00:52:25] Speaker A: Yeah, the hippo nipples.
[00:52:26] Speaker E: So you're gonna throw apples at them?
[00:52:30] Speaker C: Is that dumb? You don't like it?
[00:52:32] Speaker D: Well, I just.
[00:52:32] Speaker E: No, I just love that. Like, you start by throwing spears and javelins, and once a person dies, then you're like, okay, time for the app.
[00:52:45] Speaker C: Yeah, you're right. You're right.
Just doesn't work. But I'm out of, like, what else can I throw?
[00:52:52] Speaker A: Do you have any nerf javelins?
[00:52:54] Speaker D: Yeah, with the whistles on them. What's around in the stands? Like, where?
[00:52:58] Speaker A: So, my.
[00:52:59] Speaker C: Honestly, my thinking is, um.
Well, that's true. All right, I'll scan around me really fast. Something javelin like.
[00:53:07] Speaker A: I mean, there's.
[00:53:08] Speaker C: There's something wrong. Like a room.
[00:53:10] Speaker A: There's splintered wood from where Will crashed into that stand. You could probably pick something up there that might not be well weighted, but.
[00:53:18] Speaker C: Could, ah, could screw it. Sorry, Will. I'm not saying that. Sorry, though. I'll throw a javelin at him.
[00:53:24] Speaker A: All right, go for it.
[00:53:25] Speaker C: An actual javelin?
[00:53:26] Speaker D: Oh, an actual javelin.
[00:53:28] Speaker C: Yeah, the real deal.
[00:53:30] Speaker D: And this doesn't have the removed spikes or anything?
[00:53:33] Speaker C: No.
I hope it doesn't end your spell.
[00:53:37] Speaker D: I'm just gonna kill you. Don't worry.
[00:53:40] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:53:41] Speaker D: I mean, is it clear to the.
[00:53:43] Speaker B: Townspeople that this crab used to be Nat's grandpa?
[00:53:46] Speaker A: Well, he will crash down into the stand, and then out from the stand emerged a giant crab.
[00:53:51] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:53:52] Speaker B: So they can sort of infer. Okay.
[00:53:54] Speaker A: I mean, if they're paying attention at all. I mean, you know how people's attention span are these days with TikTok and everything.
[00:54:02] Speaker B: You sound like Nat's grandpa.
[00:54:05] Speaker A: All these people are watching this fight on the top screen and then watching someone playing a video game on the bottom.
[00:54:10] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:54:14] Speaker C: All right. Uh.
[00:54:16] Speaker A: All right. That misses.
[00:54:18] Speaker D: Good.
[00:54:20] Speaker C: All right. But it doesn't hit anybody.
[00:54:23] Speaker A: It does not hit anybody. It flies off and scatters.
[00:54:26] Speaker D: It's ten other people.
Shish kebab. Now what do we do now?
[00:54:34] Speaker A: So, yeah. Do you see this javelin fly over your eye stalk?
[00:54:38] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:54:39] Speaker A: Crab will.
[00:54:40] Speaker D: I put my crab hands on my crab hips, and I'm like, come on.
But it just. I don't know what crab sounds.
[00:54:49] Speaker C: Are you actually talking to me in my. I mean, I'm just trying to look like I'm provoking. Like, that's what's going on, right?
[00:54:54] Speaker D: I probably can't.
[00:54:55] Speaker C: You'd figure it out. Like. Like, you have to. You have to charge me something. Like, I need to run. Right?
[00:55:01] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:55:02] Speaker C: I'm trying to draw you away. Right.
[00:55:03] Speaker D: You have to pursue whatever. Yeah, whatever direction makes sense, I'm willing to do as a crab. I think will doesn't give a fuck. He's just like, I'm a crab. Let's just drum up all the people looking at us. This is a big spectacle.
[00:55:16] Speaker A: People looking at us.
[00:55:18] Speaker D: I don't know. Can I talk? Let's see. I don't. I bet I can't communicate.
[00:55:22] Speaker A: What, use message while Molly polymorphs?
[00:55:24] Speaker D: Probably not.
[00:55:25] Speaker A: Uh, I don't think so, cuz I don't think you could talk. You don't have, like, a human mouth.
[00:55:31] Speaker D: That's true. Yeah. Because it says I have to point a finger and whisper.
[00:55:35] Speaker A: You have to whisper. Yeah. So, no, you can't use message.
[00:55:38] Speaker D: I have mouth parts.
[00:55:39] Speaker A: Yeah, I know. Yeah, you can make whatever sound your mouth parts make.
[00:55:42] Speaker D: I'm just like.
[00:55:45] Speaker A: What if crabs made that sound?
[00:55:50] Speaker D: They do? You just don't listen.
[00:55:52] Speaker C: Trying to give Will clue. I'll take, like, two steps back or something.
[00:55:56] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, you turn and make the running pose.
[00:56:00] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:56:06] Speaker A: All right.
All right. Roscoe, I think. Wait, did we get the order mixed up? Because I think Roscoe. I don't think so.
[00:56:17] Speaker B: It's Roscoe then Rufina, right?
[00:56:18] Speaker A: Yeah, I think so.
But you kind of already ran up and. I don't know.
Let's do Rufina first. Cause I think Roscoe went more recently.
So, Rafina, you've had a round of combat to decide what you're gonna do. Have you decided what you're gonna do?
[00:56:38] Speaker B: Nope. So you're just sitting there? I'm definitely still stunned and sure furious.
[00:56:50] Speaker A: It's already been 12 seconds. Get over it.
[00:56:53] Speaker D: Geez.
[00:56:54] Speaker B: I know what's wrong with me.
[00:56:57] Speaker D: So I love it.
[00:57:00] Speaker B: I'm not going. I'm definitely not going to participate. Now I do, sort of.
I look at the crab and I glare.
[00:57:13] Speaker D: I didn't even do it. It was you, Rafina.
My little mouth parts are like this.
[00:57:29] Speaker C: It reminds me of how, like, really young kids get angry at each other, like, before they can. Before they can talk. It's like.
[00:57:46] Speaker E: So Rafina's glaring at the crab.
[00:57:48] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:57:49] Speaker B: At the crab.
[00:57:50] Speaker E: Yeah, well, so, I mean, so Roscoe's like, um.
Okay, so, so we just gotta get through the next moment, you say, well, we got. We got time to deal with. With this guy, right?
[00:58:03] Speaker B: We do.
[00:58:04] Speaker D: So.
[00:58:05] Speaker E: So what do you. What's next? What do you.
[00:58:07] Speaker B: This needs to end. We need to end whatever we're doing here so that we can deal with this with a clear head and without giant crabs and bath wax flying through the air. It needs to happen.
[00:58:22] Speaker E: What do you suggest? What do you want me to do? Do you want to stick with the plan and follow them up there to.
[00:58:27] Speaker D: The plan has worked so well so far.
[00:58:33] Speaker B: Well, I'm staying here. There's a dead person here. I can't abandon this dead person. That would make it worse.
[00:58:39] Speaker E: Okay, okay.
[00:58:40] Speaker D: Uh.
[00:58:41] Speaker E: What? Okay, give me. Give me. Give me the bones.
[00:58:45] Speaker B: The what?
[00:58:46] Speaker E: Give me the bones. I have to play Rafina now.
[00:58:49] Speaker B: Oh, right. Okay, okay.
[00:58:52] Speaker D: Um.
[00:58:53] Speaker B: But you're not a healer. Do you think anyone knows?
[00:58:55] Speaker D: I just.
[00:58:56] Speaker E: We have to figure it out. On the fly?
[00:58:57] Speaker B: Yes, we're on the crab, as it were. Rafina provides passes along the bones.
[00:59:04] Speaker A: Are you just going to give him your terrarium or.
[00:59:07] Speaker B: I'm going to have to, because I'm sure there's a crowd gathering.
[00:59:10] Speaker E: You can't take them out of the terrarium.
[00:59:12] Speaker A: Well, I mean, are you guys.
Yeah. Exchange bones in the middle of the street over this dead guy.
[00:59:20] Speaker D: Take these bones. Go.
[00:59:23] Speaker E: So I'm taking a whole terrain. What does this. I'm taking the whole terrarium.
[00:59:27] Speaker D: It'll follow you. It has legs.
[00:59:30] Speaker B: Terrarium. Go follow Roscoe.
[00:59:33] Speaker E: Can I ride the terraria?
[00:59:34] Speaker A: No.
[00:59:34] Speaker D: No.
[00:59:36] Speaker B: You'll squash the warping squirrel.
[00:59:38] Speaker A: I say no, and Rafina says no for different reasons.
[00:59:45] Speaker B: Sorry. Roscoe, please don't.
[00:59:46] Speaker A: It's not a mode of control.
[00:59:47] Speaker D: Put your foot down. Don't get.
[00:59:48] Speaker B: Don't try to get into the terrarium.
[00:59:50] Speaker D: I see you.
[00:59:53] Speaker E: I'm just trying to, like. I don't know. I.
It's kind of weird to take the whole terrarium. There was just like, can I just use sleight of hand and try to.
[01:00:04] Speaker D: Get these fucking bones without anybody noticing.
[01:00:06] Speaker B: And go around a bush?
[01:00:09] Speaker D: Yeah, like, you could go in it. Nobody's looking at you. The whole point is to make it.
[01:00:13] Speaker A: Yeah, there's a giant crab.
[01:00:14] Speaker D: Hopefully, if you.
[01:00:15] Speaker E: I guess I'm not. I'm not taking the terrarium the whole way to where I go.
[01:00:19] Speaker B: So I'm taking the terrarium.
[01:00:20] Speaker E: I'm gonna try to find.
[01:00:21] Speaker A: Picture this terrarium movie moving so slowly. Yeah, that's what I was. Confused.
[01:00:29] Speaker D: Come on, hurry on.
[01:00:31] Speaker E: So as everybody's.
As everyone's distracted by the crab and everything, like, Roscoe will try to discreetly take the terrarium into, like, a nearby empty tent or stall or something and to take out the bones.
[01:00:48] Speaker A: Cool. That'll be easy.
All right. And you hear, all of you here, there's this. You know, there's crowds all around. This place is very crowded. And you hear a shout from sort of behind where the crab is.
[01:01:05] Speaker D: Get it?
[01:01:06] Speaker A: And a bunch of people come rushing out of the crowd, and they try to attack the crab.
All right, so there's four people with various blunt weapons.
Oh, one of them rolls a.
All right, see, you take.
[01:01:30] Speaker C: Those are high rolls.
[01:01:31] Speaker A: Dang. Yeah. You take three hits and one critical hit. So let's see.
[01:01:36] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[01:01:39] Speaker A: All right, you take seven damage, and then you also take five damage.
[01:01:52] Speaker C: As.
[01:01:52] Speaker A: They smack their clubs and bits of broken stalls into your carapace.
[01:02:01] Speaker D: Okay?
[01:02:02] Speaker A: And now it's your turn.
[01:02:04] Speaker D: Well, if bathwack looks like he's actually gonna follow me now, I'm gonna fucking swing. Wipe these people off of me if I can.
I don't care if I'm causing them.
[01:02:15] Speaker C: Damage, but I. I'm in front of you, so I'm.
[01:02:19] Speaker D: Oh, yeah. Am I chasing you? I'm chasing you.
[01:02:21] Speaker A: Yeah, like, he's between you and Demon's leap.
[01:02:24] Speaker D: Okay, then I will. I will start advancing on him whilst throwing off the people that are attacking me, hitting them with my giant claws.
[01:02:33] Speaker A: Okay?
So just do. Just do that. I don't know.
[01:02:40] Speaker D: I don't know either.
[01:02:41] Speaker A: Strength checks.
There's four people.
[01:02:46] Speaker D: Well, I don't have four attacks.
[01:02:48] Speaker A: As a crab, you can just. You're just swiping at them. You're not trying to do anything.
[01:02:51] Speaker D: Any of these are coming. I've clicked it a couple times. Did it. Did it work?
[01:02:55] Speaker C: Yeah, they're. They're coming through.
[01:02:56] Speaker D: Cool.
[01:02:59] Speaker A: Well, those are strength saves. Oh, I'm sorry, it's the same. You don't have any bonuses, so. Yeah, yeah. You hit two of them and they go.
They go flying off into the stalls onto the side. The other two sort of duck out of the way of your crab claws, but they're not, like, hanging onto you or anything.
They're just trying to hit you.
[01:03:23] Speaker D: Okay.
[01:03:25] Speaker A: And then do you go after Bathwack?
[01:03:27] Speaker D: Yeah, I'm going after Bathwack.
[01:03:28] Speaker A: All right. The two that you didn't hit away from, you get attacks of opportunity.
[01:03:33] Speaker E: Great.
[01:03:37] Speaker A: What's your ac 14? All right. One of them hits and does one damage.
[01:03:46] Speaker D: Nice.
[01:03:48] Speaker A: And, yeah, you guys can take off.
[01:03:50] Speaker D: Okay, I'm going.
[01:03:52] Speaker C: That's right. Come and get me, you monster.
[01:03:54] Speaker A: All right, so, yeah, the crab on.
[01:03:56] Speaker D: The back, my legs are like. You know what I mean? Like a crab.
[01:04:00] Speaker A: Uh huh.
[01:04:00] Speaker D: Climbs up on rocks and coral reefs and. Yeah. You climb over stalls and stuff like that up to the sides of the buildings and everything as they come after bathwack, for sure.
[01:04:11] Speaker A: Yep. Probably not as quickly, but very showy.
[01:04:14] Speaker D: Yeah, very showy.
[01:04:15] Speaker A: Yep.
[01:04:16] Speaker D: Yeah.
[01:04:16] Speaker A: All right, so bathwalk.
[01:04:17] Speaker D: Yeah.
[01:04:18] Speaker A: This crab is coming after you. What are you doing?
[01:04:23] Speaker C: Um, I'm just trying to go.
Yeah, I mean, I'm going to try to leave as fast as it's approaching.
[01:04:33] Speaker D: Okay.
[01:04:34] Speaker A: I think its movement is faster than yours, so you can start to use your actions as movement, basically.
[01:04:41] Speaker C: Okay.
[01:04:42] Speaker A: If you don't have anything else, other attacks to do or whatever.
[01:04:45] Speaker C: I cast zone of truth and dispel magic.
[01:04:54] Speaker A: Cast, expose warlock.
[01:04:57] Speaker D: I'm not a warlock. I don't think. Good.
[01:04:59] Speaker A: Phew.
[01:05:00] Speaker D: You can cast that all you want.
[01:05:03] Speaker A: All right, Roscoe, you've gotten the bones out of the terrarium.
The crab and bathwalk have taken off towards the north end of the market.
[01:05:13] Speaker E: Yeah.
[01:05:14] Speaker A: Are you going to try to follow them or circle around? Where are you going?
[01:05:19] Speaker E: Roscoe, I think, is gonna.
[01:05:22] Speaker A: Because.
[01:05:22] Speaker E: So we're still like, there's a whole fucking journey to go on to go up to the devil's leap or whatever it is, right?
[01:05:31] Speaker A: Demon's leap. Yep.
[01:05:33] Speaker E: Demons leap.
I don't know. I think Roscoe's gonna try to hitch a ride on the back of the crab.
It's gonna describe. He's gonna like. It's disguising. It's like, stop chasing my friend and inadvertently contributing to the death of innocent people.
[01:05:53] Speaker A: All right.
[01:05:54] Speaker E: And he's gonna grab onto it and try to hold onto the crab.
[01:05:57] Speaker A: So, yeah, you see Roscoe run at you as you're scurrying around. He, like, pops out of a nearby stall and shouts that and tries to grab onto you. Do you let him?
[01:06:08] Speaker D: I absolutely let him, but. Oh, and I can't do a message. I'm curious about Rafina. Like, why is Roscoe here? But that's fine. I'm just gonna act my part as a crab. I didn't hear that conversation is all I'm saying. Correct?
[01:06:19] Speaker A: Yep. So I just want to make sure you would consent to him grabbing onto you so you don't. You can slow down, even slightly and let him latch onto your carapace there.
[01:06:29] Speaker D: Yeah.
[01:06:30] Speaker A: Okay.
And now, Rafina, are you just sticking by the body? Is that what her plan is like, what's going on there?
[01:06:39] Speaker B: I'm assuming that there. So is there a crowd gathering around this person?
[01:06:44] Speaker A: I mean, now that the crab and Bathwack have started to move off towards the north, they will kind of start to move in. Yeah.
A woman runs up and she's very worried and is crying and starts to try to revive him.
[01:07:04] Speaker B: I think he's dead. It's so terrible.
It's my fault.
[01:07:09] Speaker D: No, no, it's my fault.
[01:07:12] Speaker B: I'm so sorry.
It's my fault.
My. I was trying to contribute, and it went awry.
[01:07:24] Speaker A: It's like that this person doesn't really even hear you. It doesn't seem like they're focused on this person.
[01:07:29] Speaker D: Listen to me.
[01:07:30] Speaker B: No, I don't say that.
[01:07:34] Speaker C: Just starts shaking her.
[01:07:36] Speaker E: Hello.
Earth to mourner.
[01:07:41] Speaker A: Eyes up here.
[01:07:46] Speaker C: One, two, three. Eyes on me.
[01:07:52] Speaker A: All right, so Bathwick has taken off towards the north end of the market. The crab is scuttling along.
Roscoe has grabbed onto the top of the edge of the back of the shell and is being scuttled along with Will.
Bathwhack, you are able to barely turn the corner out of the front end of the market. And will, you're going to give chase. And then from.
You're not sure if it's buying a stall or something like that, or a side street, a figure steps out. It is a tall half orc in these sort of deep green robes.
[01:08:35] Speaker E: What the fuck?
[01:08:37] Speaker A: And she turns and stands in front of you as if to block your path, and she says, stop. And then she reaches out, dashes forward, and begins to punch you mercilessly in the fleshy under carapace.
And so, all right, that misses.
That hits. You take eight bludgeoning damage.
[01:09:15] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[01:09:17] Speaker A: And then you take ten. Bludgeoning damage.
[01:09:22] Speaker D: Okay.
[01:09:23] Speaker E: Yikes.
[01:09:24] Speaker D: Not great.
[01:09:25] Speaker A: And she.
And then she stops and pulls her hands back behind her back again. And just stands with this perfect posture, seemingly waiting for you to do something. Bathwaik. You look back and you see her trying to bar Will's way.
And we're gonna find out what happens. You do not. You do not recognize her. Nobody does. It's this. This tall half orc in these emerald dark, emerald green robes, which has just punched Will three times in the. In the crab guts. And we're gonna find out what happens next time on pork fried dice.
[01:10:02] Speaker D: Ouch.
[01:10:04] Speaker E: What the fuck?
[01:10:06] Speaker B: Okay, well, everything's going according to plan. I'm glad we spent three sessions planning it out because it's really paying off.
[01:10:15] Speaker A: Abby, what are you doing? Rolling two natural ones.
[01:10:19] Speaker B: I know.
[01:10:21] Speaker E: I mean, that's.
[01:10:22] Speaker D: Oh.
[01:10:22] Speaker E: I mean, you know. Yeah. Having played a halfling who at least once or twice has got those double natural ones, I mean, that's. That is the best for. For storytelling.
[01:10:32] Speaker D: This is real.
[01:10:33] Speaker E: I mean, this is fucked.
[01:10:34] Speaker D: Yes.
[01:10:35] Speaker E: Dark.
I think that's great.
[01:10:38] Speaker D: Yeah.
[01:10:38] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:10:40] Speaker D: Wow. Good job, guys.
[01:10:41] Speaker E: Wow.
[01:10:42] Speaker B: Yeah. It would only be better if the person I'd killed was actual Nat's actual grandpa.
[01:10:54] Speaker E: That would fuck up the plan even more.
Whoa. His twin brother.
[01:11:06] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[01:11:09] Speaker E: Oh, my God. Jesus Christ.
[01:11:10] Speaker D: Is Juliet rusher an orc or a half orc?
[01:11:14] Speaker A: Uh, yeah, she's a half orc I'm scared of.
[01:11:16] Speaker B: Oh, she is. I thought nobody recognized this one, though. It's not.
[01:11:19] Speaker D: No, no. She says we. He says we don't recognize her, but still. And it's weird.
[01:11:26] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:11:27] Speaker D: Green robes. Wasn't that. I look up.
[01:11:30] Speaker B: Maybe she's the minion of Juliet rusher.
[01:11:32] Speaker A: Maybe she's just a minion.
[01:11:34] Speaker D: Yeah, she might be minion banana. You know what I mean?
[01:11:40] Speaker A: Oh, man.
[01:11:41] Speaker D: Minions.
[01:11:42] Speaker A: Why haven't I had any minions in my game?
[01:11:44] Speaker B: It's never too late.
[01:11:46] Speaker A: Why did I make up the ibish? I could have just had minions.
[01:11:51] Speaker B: For real.
[01:11:54] Speaker E: You're the DM.
[01:11:55] Speaker A: All right, I'm.
What's the thing where you go back.
[01:12:00] Speaker E: Minion.
[01:12:01] Speaker A: What's the thing when you go back and you change the story retroactively? There's a term.
[01:12:07] Speaker E: Retcon.
[01:12:07] Speaker A: Retconning. Yeah, I'm gonna retcon. All the ibis you've seen are minions.
[01:12:14] Speaker B: Oh, no. Search and replace the whole wiki. Mark Jeffin.
[01:12:25] Speaker D: Hey, everyone. If you like what you hear, please consider leaving us a kind review wherever that sort of thing happens. Also, support us by sending us a tip on Ko fi. You can find all of our social media [email protected]. Thank you for listening and we'll see you next time.
