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Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: I guess. Oh, you deleted it. You never just open a new window. All right, hey, this is Tony URL telling you guys to go to tinyurl.com supportpfd and subscribe to the Pork Fried Dice Kofi. All right? They got bonus content like animated gifs, webcomic, and even, like, a super secret X Tree podcast that you can listen to. So do it or I'll kill you.
Thank you.
[00:00:33] Speaker B: You're listening to the show about holding the earth on your noodly back. It's Pork Fried Dice.
I'm Eric and I'm the dungeon Master.
[00:00:45] Speaker C: I'm Abby and I play Rafina.
[00:00:48] Speaker D: I'm Alex and I play Batwack.
[00:00:51] Speaker A: I'm KT and I play Will.
[00:00:55] Speaker E: I'm Adam and I play Rosc.
[00:01:00] Speaker B: Hold on to your haversacks. Let's roll.
[00:01:06] Speaker A: The thing to remember is that you don't have to do it all at once, because, like, when we moved into this house, we had, like, nothing in it for a while. We, you know, we inherited some of the stuff from the previous owners. And then, like, slowly. I mean, I still have stuff I would like to actually, you know, make rooms, like, make more sense and stuff. But, like, you can do it slowly, and you can. And especially, like, looking for deals. Craigslist, yard sales, Dumpster diving, or just garbage days. And, like, the Salvation army or the. I'm trying to think. What is it called? Restore. Restore. Do they have that everywhere? Right?
[00:01:47] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:01:48] Speaker B: I think it's related to Habitat for Humanity.
[00:01:50] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:01:50] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:01:51] Speaker A: It's amazing. You can go there and get everything at, like, decent prices. So, like, I have so much. Yeah, I have so much to say about that because, you know, I've always been very frugal with my furniture finding.
[00:02:03] Speaker B: And the cool thing is you can end up getting stuff with more character.
[00:02:06] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:02:07] Speaker A: Because I remember, like, I'm always like, we found that on the side of the road. And we talked to this couple that was from Scotland and Ireland.
[00:02:12] Speaker B: Like, I have to.
[00:02:13] Speaker A: That is from this lady who said she traveled around the world and she was really excited to give me this because it. Like, this is from that dead person. Like, it was just, like, literally, like, that's. It's cool. Like, you have a story for the things, they feel more precious. It's more. You know, it's. It's cool to do that. I think it's fun.
[00:02:30] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:02:31] Speaker E: So we'll see. Anyway, thanks for letting me. I'm gonna talk through all the.
[00:02:35] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. I'm excited to see what's happening next. Yeah, yeah. Remember what Rafina says.
[00:02:42] Speaker E: What did she say?
[00:02:43] Speaker C: Rafina says, because Rafina listens to Brene Brown, that the unknown is where all outcomes are possible. So enter it with grace.
[00:02:56] Speaker A: All right.
[00:02:57] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:02:58] Speaker D: It's also where you die.
[00:02:59] Speaker C: Write that down in your notes.
[00:03:02] Speaker A: I guess it's true, though. It's the unknown.
That's where you die.
Oh, my gosh.
[00:03:13] Speaker D: Okay, okay, focus.
What was that?
[00:03:18] Speaker A: That was his.
[00:03:19] Speaker D: Did I roll a natural one or 20 spanacopita?
[00:03:32] Speaker B: We've done it. We've made it.
[00:03:34] Speaker A: I'm gonna have nothing to put. I don't want to put any magic personal stuff. Let's make a bunch of jokes, okay?
[00:03:41] Speaker B: You guys ever hear the one about the.
[00:03:43] Speaker C: The dinosaur. The lady and the dinosaur wearing the nice fashion.
[00:03:47] Speaker B: Yes. The lady and the dinosaur wearing the nice fashion. The lady goes. Hey, where'd you get those bloomers? And the dinosau?
[00:03:59] Speaker E: That reminds me of my struggles with clinical depression.
Oh, wait, we're trying to. Okay, we're trying to.
Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on.
[00:04:13] Speaker B: Adam, joke about killing yourself again.
[00:04:15] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
Eric put you in the face. Yeah, see? Watch out, watch out.
[00:04:22] Speaker C: Punching everybody in the.
[00:04:23] Speaker A: Abby's about to punch everyone tonight.
[00:04:28] Speaker B: Previously on Pork Fried Dice.
[00:04:31] Speaker D: Oh, I guess I have to do a recap.
That's not part of the recap.
[00:04:36] Speaker B: Oh, okay. Sorry.
[00:04:37] Speaker D: I love that I. I was inspired by your recap.
I wanted to try to do something that was even more de escalatory.
So he didn't.
[00:04:50] Speaker A: So he didn't do a recap.
[00:04:52] Speaker D: Yes, I was do anything. In the spirit of de escalation, I put an Eric style bullet list recap into an industrial process. There's no creativity involved.
Like, the recap comes in and it's swinging on a hook. And then we slice it and we debone it. We grind it into a paste, we extrude it into a mold, we run it up a conveyor belt through a waterfall of batter. We bake it, toss it into a plastic bag. Robot eye. And the ruthless quality control practice ensures it comes out the same every time.
[00:05:27] Speaker A: Whoa.
[00:05:28] Speaker D: So enjoy a 40 piece box of recap sentences.
It wouldn't feel right, though, if we didn't count them to be sure. There are 40.
Right. So, number one, you just want to see if we enjoy it.
Phileas Balaban and his mutinous gang of ten had their swords drawn in a threatening manner.
I could eat 39 more of those. Maybe two. Captain Malvolio Paisley and the juvenile winged owl bear were sliced and deboned.
That was kind of gross. I didn't like the way that one tasted.
[00:06:06] Speaker E: 3.
[00:06:06] Speaker D: Rafina and Will try to persuade Filius that Rufina is married to the captain.
4. Roscoe feels faint and says, I can't do it in the Roscoe voice. That'd be nice. A moth whose wings are dusted with the twilight's whim.
That sentence has some nice flavor. A little powdery.
5. Filius Balaban and his mutinous gang of ten escorted our party to their rooms.
6. Filius Balaban and His mutinous gang of ten are probably pansies.
Those two sentences were shaped almost identical to the first one we tried. Thank you, robot eye.
7. The party went to Rafina's room.
8. The door locked from outside.
9. Kik revealed himself to be Bat Thwack.
That sentence wasn't breaded.
[00:07:05] Speaker A: Yeah, that's right.
[00:07:06] Speaker C: Breaded.
[00:07:07] Speaker D: 10. Reed Thoren raised the lockdown and promised on his life to keep the secret. Bat Thwack promised to protect him and knocked him out.
Those two sentences were stuck together really well. It counts as one, I think.
11. A whip cracks.
12. A swirly purple orb appeared. Time hiccuped and we all became aware that Will was talking to a dark power that wants us to keep killing the other dark powers.
Oh, I don't know if I have room for 40 of these.
Nah, I can do it. 13.
Bathwhack hears a slithery slurpee gurgle.
[00:07:51] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:07:52] Speaker D: Oh, gross. Oh, crap. I dropped the rest of the sentences on the floor.
What a mess. No. What?
[00:07:59] Speaker A: Ferret. Ferret.
[00:08:00] Speaker B: Stop.
[00:08:01] Speaker D: No. Get off those nuggets.
[00:08:02] Speaker A: No. Ferret.
Yay.
[00:08:09] Speaker C: That was very well performed.
[00:08:11] Speaker A: Yeah, it was totally a performance. I love it. Barrett ate Eureka.
It was gurgly. Yeah. Breaded sentences. That's so great.
I love that. Okay, that was amazing.
We know what's going on.
[00:08:27] Speaker B: This episode brought to you by Tyson.
[00:08:32] Speaker E: I.
We need. We need somebody to be our Upton Sinclair and cast the light of truth on Alex's recap.
[00:08:47] Speaker B: Was that utopia or something? What was that called?
[00:08:49] Speaker E: The jungle.
[00:08:52] Speaker D: I think the truth is that those sentences were all made of ferrets.
Oh, I don't know.
[00:09:01] Speaker A: Carrots?
[00:09:02] Speaker C: Did you say carrots?
[00:09:04] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:09:05] Speaker A: Yeah, just for Abby's headache.
[00:09:07] Speaker E: Fine.
[00:09:09] Speaker D: All right, recap over the end.
[00:09:12] Speaker A: Great.
[00:09:12] Speaker E: Abby's hiding behind the.
[00:09:15] Speaker A: She's gonna punch you out.
[00:09:16] Speaker C: Watch out.
[00:09:18] Speaker B: She doesn't have to just say it to you. You're in the same room as her.
[00:09:23] Speaker C: That's right.
That guy. All right. He's getting congratulations from the child who was Listening on the stairs.
[00:09:33] Speaker B: Cute accolades.
[00:09:36] Speaker D: The child wanted to. Wanted to play the voice of the ferret, but the ferret didn't have a speaking role.
[00:09:45] Speaker E: You know, in a lot of homes, children, like, will, like, crouch on the stairwell, like, listening to their parents argue or, like, like, abuse each other.
And in your home, they sit there and crouch and listen tearfully to their parents.
Awesome. D and D recaps.
[00:10:10] Speaker B: And still have to go to therapy about it.
[00:10:12] Speaker A: Still have to go to therapy about it.
[00:10:16] Speaker C: At least we have all the material documented on a podcast for them. Makes it easier for the therapist to take notes.
[00:10:24] Speaker D: Yeah, there won't. There won't be any, like, hypothetical situations about what growing up was like.
[00:10:30] Speaker A: Nope.
[00:10:33] Speaker B: Oh, well documented, like you said. Okay, so we left you batwack in a unusual situation as described in your recap.
[00:10:49] Speaker D: There are nuggets all over the floor.
[00:10:50] Speaker B: You've been greeted by a begored, enlarged ferret head poking out of the.
The torso of the former Captain Malvolio Paisley, greeted in said captain's voice.
He doesn't stop on your behalf, though you may stop the. The ferret continues to undulate itself from within its cadaverous confines.
[00:11:23] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
[00:11:25] Speaker E: Jesus Christ.
[00:11:26] Speaker B: Sorry.
[00:11:27] Speaker D: It was inspired by nothing I haven't seen before.
[00:11:32] Speaker B: Usually in the bedroom, though.
[00:11:37] Speaker A: Our children are listening and they're gonna. Teary eyes, that's for sure.
[00:11:42] Speaker B: Apparently, according to the wiki for the last episode we just released, I. What I call ferret coffins or condoms.
[00:11:50] Speaker C: What?
[00:11:52] Speaker A: You said ferret coffins.
[00:11:54] Speaker B: That's what I call condoms.
[00:11:56] Speaker A: That's. Yeah.
[00:11:58] Speaker E: Wow.
[00:11:59] Speaker A: You.
[00:11:59] Speaker D: You said that, right, apparently said that. Yeah.
[00:12:02] Speaker E: Wow.
[00:12:03] Speaker B: Mark, Jess could be making it up.
[00:12:05] Speaker A: Specifically because Abby said, is that a ferret coffin in your pocket? Are you just happy to see me? And it was very funny. It was because, like, the captain was flirting with Rafina and you were so awkward. You were like, if you're any friend of yours. And then you just walked off the. It was very funny. It was very funny. Yeah. But you did call those condoms ferret coffins.
[00:12:31] Speaker B: That's what I call condoms.
[00:12:33] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:12:36] Speaker B: So, yeah, the. The ferret slithers its way out, takes a few more moments, and soon it emerges and starts to lick itself clean, basically laid out, like, end to end. Like, if this stood up on its hind legs, it'd be about. Probably about your height, actually.
[00:13:01] Speaker D: Are you kidding me?
[00:13:02] Speaker B: Wait, what?
[00:13:02] Speaker C: The height of bathweb.
[00:13:05] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:13:07] Speaker B: Oh, and otherwise it looks like a ferret.
[00:13:12] Speaker C: How did it fit inside Captain Malvolio?
[00:13:15] Speaker B: That's a good question. You don't understand how. When it came out of there.
[00:13:29] Speaker D: Do you feel okay?
[00:13:32] Speaker B: I mean. Yeah.
Do you.
[00:13:37] Speaker D: Do you. Do you need new clothes?
[00:13:41] Speaker B: No, I'm fine. I've got this fur.
You like it? And he squiggles up, does a little arch of his back.
[00:13:51] Speaker D: Are you hurt?
[00:13:53] Speaker B: No. Look at me. Don't I look good? I mean, I'll get myself cleaned up here.
[00:13:59] Speaker D: How will you grab the tiller?
[00:14:05] Speaker B: Oh, I'll figure that out.
[00:14:09] Speaker D: What the fuck?
[00:14:11] Speaker B: I wasn't usually the one to grab the tiller anyway.
[00:14:15] Speaker D: I have to go.
[00:14:21] Speaker C: Okay, wait, just to clarify, I know I'm not even there, but are you. Do you look like Kick again?
[00:14:27] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:14:28] Speaker C: Okay. All right.
[00:14:28] Speaker D: All right.
[00:14:28] Speaker B: Yeah. He had before.
[00:14:30] Speaker C: I've lost track.
[00:14:31] Speaker B: That's okay, because the magic was back, right?
Do you leave or do you just say that and stand there?
[00:14:40] Speaker D: I'm still staring at him.
[00:14:48] Speaker B: Do you have any idea where my mutinous crew got off to?
[00:14:52] Speaker A: What the.
[00:14:55] Speaker D: No.
[00:14:57] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:15:00] Speaker D: Don'T go anywhere.
[00:15:02] Speaker B: I mean, I'll go where I wish.
[00:15:03] Speaker D: But I mean, don't die.
[00:15:10] Speaker B: I don't think I can at this point. Don't worry.
[00:15:12] Speaker A: What?
[00:15:15] Speaker D: Yeah, I gotta go.
[00:15:17] Speaker B: You said that.
[00:15:18] Speaker D: Now I'm going. Yeah, I'm going upstairs.
[00:15:21] Speaker B: We're up above deck, on the top deck.
[00:15:23] Speaker D: I mean, what the crap?
I'm gonna go up to the rooms and pretend like I'm trying to find my room. Okay, but I'm listening for where everyone else is.
[00:15:34] Speaker B: Okay, the rest of you have just experienced, in one way or another, a conversation between Will and some entity.
You all find yourself occupying the same space and time once again.
[00:15:59] Speaker A: Will, is the. Is the orb still on the ground?
[00:16:03] Speaker B: No.
[00:16:03] Speaker A: Okay, good. Then I pretend like nothing happened, but I don't know what we were talking about before. Oh, we were talking about the crew.
Yeah, the crew. The. The crew.
They're stupid. I can't remember that. Like, we can. We. Like, we can probably beat them. Probably something like that. Like, I don't think we have to worry.
[00:16:23] Speaker B: Is it time for me to put hole in wall? Now.
[00:16:29] Speaker A: What is the plan? I don't know.
[00:16:31] Speaker B: I mean. Porthole open now.
[00:16:33] Speaker A: What'd you say? Portal porthole. Porthole look like horns look like corns.
[00:16:44] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, like, should I try to clamber up and up the side of the ship and come back down? Although, well, maybe the lockdown.
Is the door locked still?
[00:16:57] Speaker A: Do we feel our magic come back? Because you had said that he also. Oh, crap. This is good.
[00:17:02] Speaker C: We heard the noise, right?
[00:17:03] Speaker B: You heard the physical noise. Of things chunking and unchunking and chunking.
[00:17:10] Speaker A: We didn't hear anything about magic.
[00:17:12] Speaker B: I mean, there's not like a.
[00:17:13] Speaker A: Or feel anything. We don't feel any different.
[00:17:16] Speaker B: I don't think it works like that. It doesn't work like that. I'm the deal.
[00:17:20] Speaker A: Cool.
Okay.
[00:17:23] Speaker B: Should I. Like. I could probably fit through that hole.
[00:17:26] Speaker A: I'll try to just press the digitate sparkles or something out of my hand. Does it work?
[00:17:33] Speaker B: It's beautiful.
[00:17:34] Speaker A: Okay, Great. Cool. We're back. We're back, everybody. Math probably saved us or something.
Hopefully. Or maybe they're just really stupid and they just turned everything back on because they think we can't get out of this room.
So now what do we do?
Make sure that kick is okay.
[00:17:54] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:17:54] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:17:55] Speaker C: Let's reunite so that we can get the heck out of here. Or something.
[00:18:03] Speaker E: Was I.
I was feeling kind of weird there for a bit.
Was I acting kind of weird?
[00:18:12] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:18:14] Speaker C: A tiny bit more than usual. Yeah.
[00:18:16] Speaker E: And I don't know. I. I guess I was.
I think I had some kind of weird time collapsed fever dream about you, Will.
[00:18:31] Speaker C: I did, too.
[00:18:33] Speaker E: What?
[00:18:34] Speaker B: What?
[00:18:35] Speaker C: But in typical fashion, we're just gonna move right along.
[00:18:39] Speaker A: What do you mean?
[00:18:40] Speaker B: I mean, I would like to know what kind of shared dream you all had about Will that I didn't have.
[00:18:45] Speaker C: Oh, no. You didn't have it, Shimi.
[00:18:47] Speaker B: No.
[00:18:49] Speaker C: You didn't have, like, a whole encounter where everything was just uploaded into your brain. It felt like.
[00:18:56] Speaker B: I don't know what uploaded means, but no.
[00:18:59] Speaker C: How about you, huh?
[00:19:01] Speaker B: You want me to make the hole?
[00:19:03] Speaker A: Okay, what are we talking about here? Let's. Let's. Okay, what do we. Let's get back to what is happening, which is that.
[00:19:11] Speaker B: No, no, no. I want to know what this shared dream is. What did you guys see or hear?
[00:19:16] Speaker A: What are you talking about? If they're having hallucinations.
[00:19:19] Speaker B: Who about you?
[00:19:20] Speaker A: We're still. Okay. This.
[00:19:21] Speaker B: I want to have them.
[00:19:23] Speaker A: No, you don't. She. You want to stay firmly in reality.
[00:19:26] Speaker B: You know, I have a connection. And if they're connecting with you in a way that we're not connecting, I'm jealous.
[00:19:32] Speaker A: You don't want to have a brain aneurysm that gives you some vision of me. Okay? I'm right here. I'm standing still, describing, and I make my face look like myself for a second, Not Valencia Beigeman. Wait, no, no, I'm not at Valencia Beigeman. I turn into. Then realizing I look like myself, I turn into Valencia Beigeman. That's What I do. I'm right here. And then I turned into Valencia Blasman.
[00:19:54] Speaker E: All right, wait a minute. Wait a minute.
[00:19:56] Speaker C: Okay, Rafina, let's compare notes.
[00:19:59] Speaker E: On the count of three, let's.
[00:20:03] Speaker C: This always goes well.
[00:20:04] Speaker E: At the same time, say what we hoid. And for reference, I'm copying and pasting what we.
What we. Potentially what I saw. And if it's what you saw, maybe you could say it, too.
[00:20:27] Speaker C: Are you putting it into a chat or just right into the notes?
[00:20:30] Speaker E: Oh, just in the notes.
[00:20:32] Speaker C: I better open them then.
[00:20:34] Speaker A: Now they're hallucinating notes. Can we please get out of this room? It's. There's no oxygen in here. I think.
[00:20:42] Speaker C: All right. I have a suggestion for our shared notes. Is that we do them in reverse. Chronicle Logical. Chronic. Logical order.
[00:20:48] Speaker E: Yes, that's a very reasonable, rational idea.
Thank you. Maybe we could reorder them at a different point.
[00:20:58] Speaker C: Yes.
Okay. I've scrolled the appropriate amount.
[00:21:03] Speaker E: All right. On the count of three, let's say what our vision was.
Okay.
[00:21:11] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:21:12] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:21:14] Speaker E: Two.
Three.
[00:21:17] Speaker C: Someone was talking to Will in an instant. It is offering more control over our actions.
[00:21:30] Speaker E: Wow. I can't believe we're saying all this at the same time.
[00:21:32] Speaker C: It's so weird. It wants us to kill the Dark Powers. They don't deserve what they've got.
[00:21:40] Speaker E: Something about this one.
[00:21:42] Speaker C: This benefit.
[00:21:44] Speaker E: Somebody else's notes.
[00:21:49] Speaker C: If we knock them out.
[00:21:50] Speaker E: We knocked about. It says it said it was more.
[00:21:54] Speaker C: Than a Dark Power.
[00:21:57] Speaker E: It's.
[00:21:58] Speaker C: It seems to be. What? Oh, I missed that one. It's different.
[00:22:02] Speaker E: Seems to be trapped in the ball.
[00:22:04] Speaker A: Not a ball.
[00:22:06] Speaker C: Will said it would have to be more dire for him to agree.
It says.
[00:22:15] Speaker E: It says that that will happen soon.
[00:22:18] Speaker A: Whip crack.
[00:22:18] Speaker E: Then there's a whip crack. We both voided.
[00:22:22] Speaker C: What do you think of that?
[00:22:23] Speaker A: Guys?
[00:22:23] Speaker E: What are the chances that we would so fluidly say exactly the same thing we really at is looking at us exactly the way. The way Will is looking at.
[00:22:38] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:22:48] Speaker E: That was the best thing we've ever done.
[00:22:49] Speaker B: Clearly.
[00:22:50] Speaker C: I. I agree.
[00:22:51] Speaker E: And the worst we've ever executed.
[00:22:56] Speaker D: I was really expecting Abby to start saying something different halfway through.
[00:22:59] Speaker C: No.
[00:23:00] Speaker D: Not just taking out words.
[00:23:02] Speaker C: Not intentionally.
[00:23:05] Speaker B: Well, wow.
So who was this? Was this some new.
New entity we have to deal with?
Was this. Did this happen? Will?
Maybe that means yes. And Will speak.
[00:23:22] Speaker A: I've learned that I'm not sure all of that happened, but sure, yes. There was something that just happened. I guess you weren't part of it.
[00:23:32] Speaker B: No.
[00:23:33] Speaker A: Whatever.
[00:23:34] Speaker B: Why didn't you include Me.
[00:23:36] Speaker A: I had no control over it. She. Me.
[00:23:39] Speaker D: Oh.
Oh, my God.
[00:23:42] Speaker A: All right, can we get out of this?
[00:23:44] Speaker C: Did you experience that exact thing?
[00:23:48] Speaker A: That was really weird what you guys just did, So I don't really know if I experienced that, but.
[00:23:56] Speaker B: I mean, ignore the theatricality of it. I'm talking about the content.
We've got an ex circus guy over here. You have to. You have to expect that kind of thing.
[00:24:08] Speaker A: I think that perhaps tricks are being played on everybody because.
[00:24:13] Speaker B: Why.
Maybe that is the trick that. I didn't hear it.
Whatever. This is messing with my mind.
[00:24:23] Speaker A: I think the dark powers are messing with all of us, so I wouldn't be too worried, everybody.
[00:24:30] Speaker E: Well, why did. I don't know why. Why did we hear the same thing? Who.
Who are you talking to?
[00:24:38] Speaker A: A weird thing happened to me, but I don't know if it was the same thing as what happened to you guys. It just. Was it a yucky feeling and definitely. Probably dark powers. Ish. But it's not here anymore. And don't worry, I didn't do anything. I didn't make any sort of deal or.
[00:24:57] Speaker C: Do you talk to him a lot? Camel's called you, Katie.
[00:25:02] Speaker B: KT does, actually.
[00:25:05] Speaker A: Every. Every night.
[00:25:07] Speaker B: This whole show is inspired by reality.
[00:25:10] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:25:11] Speaker E: Was it somebody that you talked to before?
[00:25:14] Speaker A: I can't tell if it's the same person, but this. Or person. Entity. I don't know. It. It. It. If. I mean, I thought Rafina killed what this thing claimed to be, so I don't know. It's. I don't know what's going on. It's something that was.
[00:25:32] Speaker E: Wait, Raina, what.
[00:25:33] Speaker B: Who.
[00:25:34] Speaker E: What did you kill?
[00:25:35] Speaker C: I. I think. Remember the ball that was.
I know. Brace yourself. It. And it was purple and like, it just sort of disintegrated in my hands.
[00:25:49] Speaker E: Oh, Lord, I hate paws. The only good balls are disintegrating one.
[00:25:55] Speaker B: I don't know if. If Rosco was around when that happened.
[00:25:59] Speaker E: I certainly was not.
[00:26:01] Speaker C: Wait, wait, that was.
[00:26:03] Speaker B: That was pre Rosco.
[00:26:04] Speaker C: Oh, no. Oh, really?
[00:26:06] Speaker B: Pr.
[00:26:07] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:26:08] Speaker C: It must have been right before we met him then.
[00:26:10] Speaker B: I mean, it was in Bear Toggle.
[00:26:11] Speaker C: But it wasn't Bear Toggle for sure. But anyway. Okay.
[00:26:15] Speaker A: Yeah, well, I. Abby is done being surprised.
[00:26:17] Speaker B: The swirly man. That's what we're talking about.
[00:26:20] Speaker A: It claimed to be.
[00:26:21] Speaker B: Oh, so it was.
[00:26:23] Speaker A: No, it claims to be. Jimi, we don't know anything.
[00:26:27] Speaker E: This is.
[00:26:28] Speaker B: It was some dark power that Will foreswore himself to. It's where he drew all of his capabilities and magical Energies from. But he kind of, like, owed his soul to it or something, but then.
[00:26:40] Speaker A: It turned out to be my soul.
[00:26:45] Speaker B: Vistani woman. Who? They killed some dwarf, like, sacrificed himself.
[00:26:52] Speaker A: You're talking a lot for someone with one eye.
[00:26:55] Speaker B: Well, I got. I gotta make up for it.
I gotta say what I gotta say what? I can't see what.
[00:27:04] Speaker E: Wait a minute, Wait a minute. Why was it called the Swaying Man? Like, he was always going around giving people swirlies.
[00:27:09] Speaker B: What is swirly?
[00:27:13] Speaker C: And Rafina goes with her hands.
[00:27:17] Speaker E: Yeah, that's it.
[00:27:19] Speaker B: How do you give it to someone?
[00:27:22] Speaker E: I'll show it to you later.
Okay, well, look, I. I don't know what that was, but it sounds like.
Well, it said that it could help us defeat these.
[00:27:33] Speaker A: No, no, Roscoe, Roscoe. If it is who it claims to be, this is the same kind of thing as Xantris. Don't even entertain the idea of getting together with it is all I'm saying. They trick you and then they curse you. And it's not a good thing to think that you can get anything good out of a relationship like that.
[00:28:01] Speaker E: You're saying that somebody could swear allegiance to a stronger power, and then they could trick you and place you and punish you?
[00:28:18] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:28:20] Speaker B: That's like me and Will.
[00:28:23] Speaker C: Really?
[00:28:24] Speaker A: Thanks, Mo.
[00:28:25] Speaker B: I mean, you curse at me sometimes.
[00:28:29] Speaker A: Okay, well, I bought you a suit, so, yeah, it makes up for it.
[00:28:33] Speaker B: That gives me power.
[00:28:34] Speaker E: All right, fine. Okay, listen, I think we should find Pathway and see what he thinks. Okay. Is the door unlocked now? Because I don't know about you guys. I don't like mutinies unless I'm the one doing the mutiny.
[00:28:52] Speaker A: Agreed.
Actually, very much agree with that. Have you been part of one, Roscoe? That's interesting. Circus mutiny.
[00:29:02] Speaker B: Witness.
[00:29:02] Speaker E: Okay, well, you anticipated that.
[00:29:06] Speaker A: I just like the phrase circus mutiny.
[00:29:10] Speaker E: I have borne witness to my fair share of circus mutinies.
[00:29:14] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:29:20] Speaker B: Yeah. The door's still locked. I checked it.
[00:29:23] Speaker C: All right, but we have our magic back.
[00:29:26] Speaker A: Yeah, we do, right?
[00:29:28] Speaker B: Do it. Magic the door open.
[00:29:34] Speaker A: I could blast it open. I don't know if I want to do that, I guess.
[00:29:39] Speaker C: Can we just have Mo kick it down?
[00:29:40] Speaker A: What? I'm asking. Guys, they said there was going to be a guard outside the door. If we just bust the door down, somebody's going to be out there. Are we ready to fight? Do we want to kill the crew? What is the plan? This seems like the dumbest crew alive is all I'm saying. We could easily overpower them at this point. I'm assuming if we all have our magic back. And I do the same thing again just to make sure that I have magic. And I'm still Valencia looking, I guess. Yeah, we all go.
[00:30:05] Speaker B: Oh, cool.
[00:30:06] Speaker A: The thing is, like, we. I'm sure we could easily overpower this crew, but, Rafina, can you navigate this boat across the sea? What I'm asking is whether we want to stick to the original plan, lay low, and get to Gully's End or not. What are we doing?
[00:30:23] Speaker C: I feel like we can't make any big decisions until we have all of us together we need back. And I don't have a lot of experience piloting gigantic cruise ships, but I'm sure I could figure it out.
[00:30:39] Speaker A: All right, well, Rafina, you do kill dark powers and stuff.
[00:30:44] Speaker D: I assume you've read the book how to Avoid Large Ships.
[00:30:51] Speaker C: Available on Amazon.
[00:30:55] Speaker A: I potentially. I wonder if I can cast.
Let's see.
Does it have to be inoculous space? On the ground within range. On the ground within range. I guess I don't have to see it. I might cast. Okay. I might be able to get us out of this room without such a huge explosion or anything, but again, there's going to be a guard out there. What's the plan? Do we want to civilize our way through this, or do we want to kill?
[00:31:25] Speaker C: Well, maybe they're not worth killing if they're so dumb, Right?
[00:31:30] Speaker A: But they still have swords, and they want to point them at us.
[00:31:35] Speaker C: True.
[00:31:38] Speaker B: You want me to kill them all?
[00:31:40] Speaker E: Let's flip a coin.
[00:31:42] Speaker A: I like your style, Rosco, but I think it's a little too random for me. Again, we need to. I think we need to kind of maybe figure out a way to still make it to Gully's End. On this ship.
[00:31:56] Speaker C: Probably.
[00:31:58] Speaker A: I don't know what the crew plans. Do we hold them at our own sword point and make them take us to Gully's End, do we? We don't. Yeah, we don't know much where the is kick.
[00:32:11] Speaker E: Maybe we should just wait. I've heard that if you get separated from your kick, you should just stay in your room and wait for your.
[00:32:18] Speaker A: Kick to come find you.
[00:32:23] Speaker C: Or find a kick that has little kids with it. Right.
[00:32:27] Speaker B: Speaking of which.
[00:32:28] Speaker C: And ask that kick.
[00:32:29] Speaker B: Speaking of which. Kick. You've made your way up the hallway towards the staterooms.
[00:32:35] Speaker D: Oh, good.
[00:32:36] Speaker B: The hallway has one person in it. It is one of the crew members standing outside of the room. That at least was Rafina's room with their back to the wall right next to the door.
Unless you're taking extraordinary measures to keep yourself hidden away.
As soon as you come into sight, they're gonna see you and they're gonna say, that's fine. Move along to your room, please. All passengers to their rooms, per the captain's instructions.
[00:33:09] Speaker D: But I don't want to go to my room.
[00:33:13] Speaker B: Well, I'm sorry, but you have to at this point. It is mandated by the captain.
[00:33:19] Speaker D: Well, which one's mine?
[00:33:22] Speaker B: You would have to be the one that's aware of that. I don't have.
Which one is yours, sir?
[00:33:28] Speaker D: I think it's this one. The one that you're in the room.
[00:33:31] Speaker B: No, this is. This room is occupied, sir.
[00:33:35] Speaker D: No, it's mine.
[00:33:36] Speaker B: No, you must be mistaken.
[00:33:38] Speaker D: You don't know what room is mine.
[00:33:40] Speaker B: Why?
[00:33:40] Speaker D: He just said it.
[00:33:42] Speaker B: But I do know which room is not yours.
This one.
[00:33:49] Speaker D: Can I at least check?
[00:33:51] Speaker B: No, I'm sorry. This. This.
[00:33:53] Speaker D: I'll know when I see the inside.
[00:33:56] Speaker B: How about we check all the other rooms first?
[00:33:59] Speaker D: Oh, will you help me?
[00:34:02] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:34:03] Speaker D: Okay, let's go check.
[00:34:05] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:34:05] Speaker D: Can you go check that one for me and I'll check this one?
[00:34:08] Speaker B: No, nobody's gonna check this one, sir.
This. This room is checked. This is accounted for. This is not your room. Okay, fine. Oh, I see you have a. The captain's wheel there.
[00:34:28] Speaker D: Let me go in the room. If I give it to you.
[00:34:31] Speaker A: I don't remember.
[00:34:33] Speaker B: That's what I'm sure.
[00:34:34] Speaker D: Yeah, but it's like pin on something.
[00:34:36] Speaker B: Was it the wheel? Was it like a. Yeah, it's like.
[00:34:39] Speaker D: The thing he gives to the kids.
[00:34:40] Speaker B: Yeah, I just. The symbol. I was trying to remember what the symbol was.
[00:34:43] Speaker D: Oh, I don't know if I wrote it down.
Let me see.
[00:34:48] Speaker A: I probably have it.
[00:34:49] Speaker B: Just edit in whatever I said last time here.
[00:34:51] Speaker A: Pin in the shape of a ship's wheel.
[00:34:53] Speaker B: Ship's wheel?
[00:34:53] Speaker D: Yes. Okay.
[00:34:54] Speaker A: All right.
[00:34:55] Speaker B: My brain works the same today that it did then.
Now, come on, come on. Let's. Let's. Let's. Let's check these. These rooms out. Let's check this one next to this one. Maybe you just got these two mixed up.
[00:35:12] Speaker D: All right. Do. Do things. Is it safe?
[00:35:18] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:35:18] Speaker D: Why are you here?
[00:35:20] Speaker B: Well, I just. That there. There were some things that happen on the ship, and the captain just wants to make sure everything is safe. Exactly. Safe. And you are safe, sir? Yes. We just need to get you in your room so you're even more safe. Okay?
[00:35:34] Speaker D: The captain?
[00:35:35] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:35:36] Speaker D: Is the captain safe?
[00:35:37] Speaker B: Oh, yes.
[00:35:40] Speaker D: Who was that back there then?
[00:35:43] Speaker B: Where, sir? I'm sorry.
[00:35:45] Speaker D: I was coming up and there was like.
I don't know. It was terrible.
[00:35:51] Speaker B: Oh, let's. Let's not think about that. We'll forget about that. Everything's being taken care of. This is.
[00:35:58] Speaker D: All right. All right, let's go in this one. I think it's mine. It's the one right next to the room.
[00:36:03] Speaker B: Okay. Oh, okay.
[00:36:04] Speaker D: I care which one it is.
[00:36:05] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:36:06] Speaker B: So that's. That was Shimmy's room.
[00:36:08] Speaker D: All right, let's go in. She means room.
[00:36:10] Speaker B: He opens it up.
[00:36:10] Speaker D: He went. I want him to go in first.
[00:36:12] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:36:12] Speaker D: Can you go? Go. Go ahead. I need. I need to know.
[00:36:16] Speaker B: Yep, yep. Come on in. Look, it's empty. Is this your room? Does this look familiar?
[00:36:20] Speaker D: I'll go in and close the door and hit him.
[00:36:25] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:36:25] Speaker D: Really hard.
[00:36:26] Speaker B: All right. Really?
[00:36:30] Speaker D: I asked him if it was safe. He said it was.
[00:36:33] Speaker B: Give me. Give me.
Give me a attack roll. Are you just punching him or.
[00:36:40] Speaker D: Yeah, I'm not gonna hit him with my sword, so it's bear.
[00:36:43] Speaker B: Unarmed attack, whatever that is.
[00:36:46] Speaker D: I want him to go down. Yeah.
Oh, man. My. My actual voice is getting.
[00:36:53] Speaker A: Vocal.
[00:36:54] Speaker C: Fry.
[00:36:57] Speaker D: All right, so just straight up, that.
[00:36:59] Speaker B: Was like me after playing Davey and the Ravian.
[00:37:02] Speaker A: Davey and the Ravian.
[00:37:04] Speaker C: Oh, man.
[00:37:05] Speaker D: How do I. How do I do?
[00:37:08] Speaker B: It's. It's just gonna be armed. I think it's just.
[00:37:11] Speaker D: Just a strength.
[00:37:12] Speaker B: You're proficient in it, so it's plus your proficiency.
[00:37:15] Speaker D: So it's strength plus three or something?
[00:37:17] Speaker B: Something like that.
[00:37:19] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:37:20] Speaker A: I hope you.
[00:37:20] Speaker D: I mean, I'll just use strength. It won't do.
[00:37:22] Speaker A: Plus three and then permanently gets to just.
[00:37:25] Speaker B: John, you're proficient too hard. Plus four. It should be, anyway.
[00:37:28] Speaker D: Oh, okay.
If that's the case, if it's plus strength plus four, then it's 19.
[00:37:35] Speaker B: 19. Okay. Yeah, that. That definitely hits. So. So your damage with an unarmed strike, it's one plus your strength mod.
So that's six crumbles to the floor.
[00:37:47] Speaker D: Nice.
[00:37:47] Speaker B: Thank you for that. That's fine.
[00:37:48] Speaker D: Oh, is he really that. He's really.
[00:37:51] Speaker C: He's really that weak?
[00:37:54] Speaker D: All right.
[00:37:54] Speaker A: Yeah, most NPCs have, like, a hit point or two.
That's why I was knocking all those people out in Trent when I was just, like, whispering at them.
[00:38:05] Speaker B: They. Most of them almost died.
[00:38:07] Speaker A: Yeah, apparently. Oh, jeez.
[00:38:10] Speaker D: All right, and then is there anything in the room up? Like, is there anything hanging up in the ceiling? Like, is there anything that could have plausibly fallen down and hit him?
[00:38:24] Speaker B: Maybe the. The bureau could have tipped over on him.
[00:38:28] Speaker D: Perfect. Tip it over on him.
[00:38:31] Speaker B: Crunch him.
[00:38:32] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:38:33] Speaker D: Hopefully. Yeah. Hopefully I don't kill him.
[00:38:34] Speaker B: I'm not trying.
[00:38:35] Speaker D: Very carefully, though.
[00:38:36] Speaker C: Wait, there's a. I can't recall call on that one.
[00:38:39] Speaker B: The mounting brackets weren't installed.
[00:38:45] Speaker D: Nobody ever installs this.
[00:38:49] Speaker B: All right, you guys hear a crash in the other room? In the. In the wall, through the wall next to the room you're in.
[00:38:58] Speaker C: Mo.
[00:38:58] Speaker E: Put a.
[00:38:59] Speaker A: Put a hole in the wall.
[00:39:00] Speaker D: Okay, step.
[00:39:01] Speaker B: Step. Stop. Stop.
[00:39:02] Speaker A: Stop stabbing a wall. I say.
[00:39:06] Speaker D: No, no. I thought you said it was safe in the room I want. Damn it.
All right, I'm going to knock on their door. Wait, it's locked. Can I open it?
[00:39:18] Speaker C: Isn't there a guard out?
[00:39:19] Speaker B: Wait, are you knocking or are you. Is it locked? Are you opening it?
[00:39:23] Speaker D: I mean. No, I'm just going to try to open it. No, I. I'm. What do you. I am.
It is locked and I'm not.
Temporal typical.
[00:39:37] Speaker B: Good.
[00:39:38] Speaker D: I don't know. Is that a word? I made it up.
[00:39:39] Speaker B: It's because you're all shifted from having that hearing that conversation all at once in your mind.
[00:39:45] Speaker D: I knew it was locked before I opened it.
[00:39:47] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:39:47] Speaker D: Opened it before I unlocked it.
[00:39:49] Speaker B: But you didn't open it. It was locked. And is.
[00:39:53] Speaker D: And then I'll knock.
[00:39:58] Speaker A: Who is it?
I say in that voice.
[00:40:03] Speaker D: Open. Open the door.
[00:40:05] Speaker A: You open the door.
[00:40:07] Speaker D: It's locked.
[00:40:07] Speaker A: Great. Yeah, it is.
[00:40:11] Speaker D: I unlock it and go in.
[00:40:14] Speaker B: You don't see a way to unlock it? There's a keyhole, but you don't have a key.
[00:40:17] Speaker E: Oh, crap.
[00:40:18] Speaker A: Maybe the guy has it. Maybe the guard has it. Oh, I shouldn't have said that. I guess. I don't know.
[00:40:23] Speaker D: Well, that's my first thought. I'm gonna go back in the other room and see if I can find.
[00:40:26] Speaker B: Yeah, he has a key.
[00:40:27] Speaker D: Great. Come back and unlock it.
[00:40:29] Speaker B: You unlock it. It opens D and D.
[00:40:37] Speaker D: That was the first time we actually played.
[00:40:38] Speaker A: Guys.
[00:40:41] Speaker B: That'S what you've been missing out on.
[00:40:43] Speaker C: Wait, this is what it is.
[00:40:45] Speaker A: Forget it. It's figuring out how to unlock a door.
[00:40:47] Speaker B: Cabbie just disconnects.
[00:40:51] Speaker A: All right.
Okay.
[00:40:54] Speaker B: Oh, we missed you. Come on in.
[00:40:57] Speaker A: No, let's get out.
[00:40:59] Speaker B: Right, guys?
[00:41:00] Speaker D: No, no, no, no, no, no.
[00:41:01] Speaker B: What?
[00:41:01] Speaker D: No. Close the door behind me.
[00:41:03] Speaker A: No, Too many people have a key. Click.
[00:41:06] Speaker B: It's fine. Yeah, it's in the door. Outside.
[00:41:15] Speaker D: Yeah, we should go soon. But listen, the captain is not dead. But he's totally dead.
[00:41:22] Speaker C: What? What?
[00:41:23] Speaker D: Like, the captain is a giant ferret as tall as me, and he crawled out of his own body.
[00:41:30] Speaker A: Yeah, of course. Of course. That's what happened on this ship.
[00:41:33] Speaker D: He's immortal.
[00:41:36] Speaker E: It seems like we did not have the same fever dream.
[00:41:47] Speaker D: Will was brain texting me the weirdest thing about gods and dark powers and.
[00:41:53] Speaker A: I don't know, together.
[00:41:55] Speaker C: Ready?
[00:41:56] Speaker D: Just kidding. Kind of stuff. Yeah.
[00:41:59] Speaker C: Yes, we had that, too.
[00:42:01] Speaker D: Yeah, well, not all of us. A ferret. We got. We have to leave. There's a mutiny. Do you guys know that? No, wait, I didn't know that.
[00:42:09] Speaker A: Yeah, we know.
[00:42:09] Speaker D: Yes, I did. Because the captain said there was a mutiny.
[00:42:11] Speaker A: Yes, we all know the mutiny. And now there's a giant ferret that's the captain of the ship. Of course, this cruise ship couldn't have. It's gone nicely. With nice drinks and nice food and a normal person as a captain, it has to be a ferret.
[00:42:27] Speaker D: We need to leave before the guard wakes up.
[00:42:30] Speaker A: What?
[00:42:33] Speaker D: I put him under a dresser. Yeah.
[00:42:35] Speaker A: What?
[00:42:37] Speaker B: Guys, guys, guys. I think we need to know, though, Kick. Did anybody.
There was a while there where some of us couldn't use magic. Did any of anybody. See you, if you catch my drift?
[00:42:50] Speaker D: Oh.
[00:42:52] Speaker A: Oh, no.
[00:42:53] Speaker D: Yeah, one person.
[00:42:53] Speaker A: What?
Okay, now we know.
[00:42:56] Speaker D: I can't tell you who it was.
[00:42:58] Speaker B: Is he dead?
[00:43:00] Speaker D: No, he's alive.
[00:43:01] Speaker A: You can't tell us who it was.
[00:43:04] Speaker D: Well, because I know what you'll do, Will.
[00:43:06] Speaker A: You know what I'll do. What will I do? Kill him.
[00:43:10] Speaker D: You're probably right. Protect him.
[00:43:12] Speaker A: What the. Protect us. We're on the same team.
[00:43:16] Speaker D: Okay, I did. I did. I. I raised the shutters and dropped the field.
[00:43:20] Speaker A: Who it is?
[00:43:23] Speaker D: No.
[00:43:24] Speaker C: All right, can we.
[00:43:27] Speaker A: No. Because the thing is, if anyone knows, and Bathwack's judgment is not that he.
[00:43:33] Speaker D: Would never tell anyone.
[00:43:34] Speaker A: All right, you know what? I swear a lot of things to you. Bathw.
[00:43:39] Speaker D: Well, you always tell me the truth, Will.
[00:43:40] Speaker A: Yeah, you're right.
Oh, my God.
[00:43:44] Speaker D: Look, I trust this guy. He made the. He made that sign that Trophast made.
You know. You know which one I'm talking about. And then he does it. He puts his hand on his forehead.
[00:43:55] Speaker A: Yes, I know. I. Yes. But who knows if this person has the fortitude or the bravery or the ability to withstand torture in the future. What if.
But green lady shows up? What's her name?
[00:44:13] Speaker D: I don't think anyone's gonna know, though. No one's gonna know. Like, I knocked him out. It's like, you know, someone went in and deactivated everything. No. No one's gonna know. The better they're Two unconscious people.
[00:44:30] Speaker A: I think it's.
[00:44:31] Speaker D: Let's just drop it. We have big problems.
[00:44:33] Speaker A: This is. This is potentially a big problem, and it is not having the rest of us know who this person. Who is the person. If we all. Yeah, but it's all involved. Because what I was just talking about in here is whether we should kill the entire crew and try to make our way across the ocean to Gully's End. Or if we should. What. What is the. What is the alternative?
[00:44:55] Speaker D: The control room looked pretty complicated.
[00:44:58] Speaker A: Great.
[00:44:58] Speaker D: I mean, I don't know.
I couldn't have figured that out without that guy. I mean, that. Whoever that was, that person and that person with an unknown gender or other. Any other. Anything. Any. It was just a humanoid figure. So it was a guy and two legs.
[00:45:16] Speaker A: So it was a guy. Okay.
[00:45:20] Speaker B: You saw the crew.
A guy. Narrows it down.
[00:45:26] Speaker A: There was, like, a couple ladies.
[00:45:30] Speaker B: By. There's the.
There are four.
[00:45:37] Speaker C: Where's the person now?
[00:45:39] Speaker D: Will, you can't touch him.
[00:45:42] Speaker A: You can tell me what to do.
[00:45:44] Speaker D: I promised I'd protect him.
[00:45:46] Speaker A: So what, you think if I know his name, I'm going to run down there and murder him? I've been the one trying to fucking maintain this illusion the entire time. Bathwack. You can't trust me to tell me his name?
[00:45:57] Speaker D: You did murder some other guy. Or at least you had Mo do it.
[00:46:00] Speaker A: What other guy? Name the person. Who is it?
[00:46:05] Speaker D: The. The captain of the ferry.
[00:46:08] Speaker A: Oh, you mean the guy that tried to murder all of us?
[00:46:11] Speaker B: Thunder Clown.
[00:46:12] Speaker A: My bad. My bad in trying to kill somebody who was killing all the rest of us. I am a terrible person. You're right.
[00:46:20] Speaker D: Listen, we just need to get out there.
[00:46:22] Speaker C: I. I think we need to go.
[00:46:24] Speaker A: So you think that if we're wandering around, nobody's gonna care they just put us in this room?
[00:46:28] Speaker D: I'm opening the door.
[00:46:29] Speaker E: Roscoe. Roscoe and Rafina have been sitting on, like, the bed like it's a stairwell, just listening carefully as Bathwack and Will argue.
[00:46:40] Speaker A: That's right.
Well, hug.
Hug Who?
No.
[00:46:48] Speaker D: Oh, yeah. I mean, sorry. Just to be like. Anyway, I would love. You suddenly feel that.
[00:46:54] Speaker A: I would love to know. Yeah.
[00:46:56] Speaker D: I'm not speaking as Bethwork right now.
[00:46:57] Speaker A: Oh, go.
[00:46:59] Speaker D: I just wanted to say everything's cool. I'm just being. I'm being kind of difficult on purpose.
Okay.
I didn't know if I was genuinely frustrating you that you wanted to have, like, a longer conversation.
[00:47:11] Speaker B: This is an old meal. But, guys, will.
[00:47:13] Speaker A: Will have a longer.
[00:47:14] Speaker B: Hold on a second.
[00:47:15] Speaker A: What?
[00:47:16] Speaker B: Evan. This isn't all real.
[00:47:19] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
[00:47:20] Speaker E: I don't like that bit. That bit is uncomfortable.
[00:47:22] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:47:23] Speaker E: Overwhelming.
[00:47:24] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:47:25] Speaker B: What have we been doing for seven years?
[00:47:29] Speaker E: A DM who doesn't understand that this entire thing has been fantasy.
That's a. That's too much even for me.
[00:47:40] Speaker B: Even for Adam.
[00:47:41] Speaker C: Adam.
[00:47:42] Speaker B: I apologize, guys.
I went too far.
[00:47:47] Speaker E: Thank you.
[00:47:48] Speaker B: Carry on.
All right, so what's the plan? What are we doing? Where are we going?
[00:47:53] Speaker A: Will sits down on the bed, lets everyone walk out.
[00:47:56] Speaker B: All right. Where are they going, Will?
She. Me, sits next to you.
[00:48:00] Speaker A: We don't have to focus on me. If they're going somewhere, let them go somewhere.
[00:48:03] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:48:03] Speaker D: Let's go talk to the captain.
[00:48:05] Speaker C: The ferret. I want to see the giant ferret. We've got to figure out what's going on.
[00:48:10] Speaker B: Yeah. Where was he?
[00:48:13] Speaker D: Just downstairs.
[00:48:15] Speaker B: But for the record, it's not downstairs. It's over there.
[00:48:19] Speaker D: Just overstairs down the hallway. Just down, across and up and through the thing.
I opened some doors on the way.
[00:48:26] Speaker E: And Roscoe's staying with Will and Chimi.
[00:48:29] Speaker D: So over there.
Let's. Let's go. Let's walk over there.
[00:48:33] Speaker C: Roscoe's staying with Jimmy and Will and Shimmy.
[00:48:36] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:48:36] Speaker C: Oh, okay. Yep. Murphy is going. Can we never do anything together anymore? My gosh.
[00:48:43] Speaker A: That discussion did not make Will very happy, and he feels like he's completely lost control of everything. That's the thing. He's like. Well, I don't. I refuse.
[00:48:52] Speaker D: But Will never had control.
[00:48:59] Speaker E: All right, let's. Well, let me.
[00:49:01] Speaker B: Let me recommend.
[00:49:02] Speaker E: Classic. A really helpful circus philosopher named Brene Brown.
Your relationship with Control will inform the rest of your emotional life in ways you could not possibly understand.
[00:49:27] Speaker A: I'm miserable. I think I understand it. Okay, yes, I get it. I understand. But right now the problem is we have the guy that blew a hole in the wall going out and to handle the situation, and he refuses to tell me anything, so he can go. Good luck. This is his family he wants to save. I wish him all the best. Me, Valencia Bezeman, ex valet of King Doofus, is going to sit on this bed and enjoy the cruise for as long as we can be on it until this crew turns the fucking boat around.
[00:49:55] Speaker B: I mean, should we go and just start taking them out?
[00:50:00] Speaker A: Shimi?
With what? What do you have to take people out?
[00:50:05] Speaker B: Oh, I'm. We're talking about you two.
[00:50:07] Speaker A: Oh. Me and Rosco go take the whole crew out. And then what? Then we're stranded on a boat. I have to have Rafina someone knowing that B's alive.
It does. You know what? It doesn't matter to me anymore. He can do whatever he wants. That's fine. It's his family. He's risking his own family's life. Good luck calling out the door.
[00:50:28] Speaker D: Oh, crap. Alex just figured out the problem. But anyway.
[00:50:33] Speaker A: What?
[00:50:35] Speaker D: No, no.
[00:50:35] Speaker C: What do you mean the problem?
[00:50:36] Speaker D: We can role play it anyway.
[00:50:37] Speaker A: It's fine. Okay.
[00:50:39] Speaker B: All right. So you guys head over to kick. Leads the way back to where he saw Ferret Malvolio.
And the lifeless husk is still there.
And the owlbear corpse is still there.
The ferret is nowhere to be seen.
And then all of a sudden, from below, Dex, you hear.
[00:51:08] Speaker A: Big screws, but.
[00:51:09] Speaker B: Muffled because it's down below decks.
[00:51:12] Speaker D: Oh, Rafina, let's run.
[00:51:15] Speaker C: Yes, let's go. What was that scream? Let's go. We have to find it.
[00:51:19] Speaker D: I'm gonna run back toward the control room toward where the barracks are.
[00:51:22] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:51:23] Speaker D: Follow me.
[00:51:25] Speaker B: So you go downstairs.
[00:51:28] Speaker A: Oh my. I think I know what's going on.
[00:51:33] Speaker B: And. Yeah. You hear more screaming. I won't play any more of that sound as you run down and towards that big bunk room.
[00:51:43] Speaker D: Just to be clear, my intention is to go straight for the control room.
[00:51:47] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:51:48] Speaker D: Straight for the guy who.
And I should. I would have his name on the top of my head, but I don't have Reed Thorin.
[00:51:56] Speaker A: Reefer.
[00:51:56] Speaker C: Reefer.
[00:51:57] Speaker A: Or something.
[00:51:58] Speaker B: Come on.
[00:51:58] Speaker D: He was.
[00:51:59] Speaker B: He was in a deep fried, battered sentence.
[00:52:04] Speaker C: That's right. Yeah. It was that one.
[00:52:07] Speaker B: Okay. Are you just following Bathwack Rafina?
[00:52:12] Speaker C: I am, yeah. I'm hurrying.
[00:52:13] Speaker B: Okay. And Mo's with you guys too. And clock face.
Am I forgetting anybody else? She moves back with Will. Pippa's.
[00:52:22] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:52:22] Speaker B: Pippa's with you?
[00:52:23] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:52:24] Speaker A: What about the terrarium? Is it clomping along?
[00:52:27] Speaker D: Don't, don't, don't clomp.
[00:52:28] Speaker C: It's in my room still, right?
[00:52:30] Speaker B: Oh, it's with us. If you want it to stay there.
[00:52:32] Speaker A: I tap on it and look at the warping scorpion.
[00:52:35] Speaker B: Well, hold on, Will.
[00:52:36] Speaker A: I know.
[00:52:37] Speaker C: Entertain yourself.
[00:52:39] Speaker B: I'm supposed to tap on the glass. That's such a Tivoli thing.
[00:52:42] Speaker A: You're only supposed to ride inside the terrarium while rowing across a river. That's what you're supposed to do.
[00:52:48] Speaker E: I'm imagining in the Pork Fridays movie, I'm imagining a shot like, of like. Like a camera, like, following the terrarium, like clomping along like through a ship. As like fighting and mauling and Albert attacks are happening.
[00:53:03] Speaker B: It's like one of those, like, single shot thing through, like so many scenes from.
[00:53:07] Speaker E: I think from either from like in front of the terrarium, like as it walks toward the camera. And, like we see all these, like.
[00:53:15] Speaker A: All this action happening.
[00:53:16] Speaker C: And Legolas swings on to a huge mammoth thing.
[00:53:20] Speaker B: An Oliphon.
[00:53:21] Speaker E: Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:53:26] Speaker B: So you guys speed down the corridor towards the control room. The screaming and commotion seems to be coming from that big barracks room to your right as you're heading down the hallway.
[00:53:41] Speaker D: Barracks room. I'm assuming that the captain is ending the mutiny.
I don't know if that's true, but that's my assumption. And I'm going to run to.
I want to make sure that Reed. Reed Thorin doesn't get killed.
[00:53:58] Speaker B: Okay, so you come up to the control room. You open the door. It is unlocked.
You run in, and he is where you left him, on the floor.
[00:54:12] Speaker D: All right, great.
I'm gonna pick him. I'm gonna pick him up, put him over my shirt.
[00:54:19] Speaker B: He's still oozing blood from his head.
[00:54:27] Speaker D: I'm gonna throw him over my shoulder and then turn to Rafina.
[00:54:34] Speaker C: Who's this guy?
[00:54:36] Speaker D: Nobody.
[00:54:37] Speaker C: This isn't a ferret.
[00:54:39] Speaker D: No. What are we gonna do?
[00:54:41] Speaker B: That was one of crew.
[00:54:45] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:54:47] Speaker C: This is not the guard you knocked out.
[00:54:50] Speaker D: This one's. Okay, we need to. Let's go in the barracks.
[00:54:54] Speaker C: Okay. Yeah, let's figure out what's screaming. Come on.
[00:54:59] Speaker B: All right, so you knock.
[00:55:00] Speaker C: Knock, knock.
[00:55:01] Speaker B: Do you knock?
[00:55:03] Speaker C: Is the door locked?
[00:55:04] Speaker B: So polite. Is the door locked? You open it. Is the door locked?
Housekeeping.
[00:55:15] Speaker A: You sure? Limbs being torn from bodies.
[00:55:19] Speaker C: Hello?
[00:55:20] Speaker A: Towel service.
They need a lot of towels in there. Probably.
[00:55:26] Speaker C: Yes, I'm sure they need you.
[00:55:27] Speaker B: Open the door and find yourselves. You thought the hallway upstairs was bad.
[00:55:32] Speaker A: Oh, jeez.
[00:55:33] Speaker B: This is a room of carnage. There is a furry slithery noodle scurrying back and forth, tossing what appear to be at this point, corpses about up into the air.
It almost looks like it's kind of having fun, kind of playing about with a number of bodies here in the sleeping quarters for the crew of the SS Abalone.
[00:56:03] Speaker E: Yes. And bowel service.
[00:56:06] Speaker A: Nice.
[00:56:12] Speaker B: The furniture is like everywhere. Like, it's just a mess in here. It's just chaos, pandemonium. You don't see anybody alive other than the. The ferret.
[00:56:23] Speaker C: Should Rafina roll for wanting to get involved? Because she weirdly doesn't want to get involved.
[00:56:28] Speaker B: I don't think you have to roll for that. That's just something you decide.
[00:56:31] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:56:33] Speaker B: Close the door quietly.
[00:56:35] Speaker C: I'm gonna let this just happen.
[00:56:37] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:56:39] Speaker C: I don't feel reason to get involved in this. Doesn't feel like our fight.
[00:56:45] Speaker D: Rafina.
[00:56:46] Speaker C: What do you think, bathwack?
[00:56:47] Speaker D: Can you steer the ship?
[00:56:51] Speaker C: Probably.
How hard can it be?
[00:56:53] Speaker D: Let's go to the bridge.
[00:56:55] Speaker C: You'll have to grumble a little louder because I can't hear you.
[00:56:58] Speaker D: Let's go to the bridge.
[00:57:02] Speaker C: O Remember that voice.
[00:57:06] Speaker A: Very Batman.
Yeah.
[00:57:08] Speaker B: Where's Rachel?
[00:57:11] Speaker E: Where's Rafina?
[00:57:16] Speaker B: So you just leave.
[00:57:17] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:57:18] Speaker C: Sort of back out. Yep. And just sort of shut the door. Oh, wait, wait.
[00:57:21] Speaker B: Rafina.
[00:57:22] Speaker C: Oh, damn it.
[00:57:25] Speaker B: The ferret skids to a stop, turns, looks at you. It's very cute.
Just a ferret.
[00:57:33] Speaker C: But it's huge.
[00:57:35] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Very big.
[00:57:38] Speaker C: Oh, there you are.
Hi.
[00:57:43] Speaker B: Scampers up to you.
[00:57:46] Speaker C: You must be the captain.
[00:57:49] Speaker B: At your service.
[00:57:51] Speaker C: That's my line.
[00:57:53] Speaker B: I know. I love it.
[00:57:56] Speaker C: So I'm a little confused about what's happening here. I'm very confused, and I'm a little concerned.
[00:58:01] Speaker B: Well, as far as I'm aware, these.
These miscreants have taken it upon themselves to try to commandeer my ship. Probably put you at risk, my dear, and that's not okay with me. So we're just nipping that in the bud, as it were.
[00:58:22] Speaker C: I see. I feel like it would be pointless to ask you not to shed blood on my behalf.
[00:58:30] Speaker B: At this point.
[00:58:31] Speaker E: Blood drips onto her feet.
[00:58:36] Speaker C: On my behalf, on my behind trails.
[00:58:41] Speaker B: I.
I suppose that not entirely on your behalf. I mean, this was a mutiny against me, so.
But maybe some of the ferocity came from my.
Listen, I'm gonna be upfront a bit. My feelings for you, Rafina. Whoa.
[00:59:03] Speaker C: That's very forward.
[00:59:05] Speaker B: I find myself feeling much more myself now. And so feel free to speak my mind plainly.
[00:59:15] Speaker C: Well, I am touched by your frankness. And I wonder if we can have a discussion about.
[00:59:21] Speaker B: Sure.
[00:59:21] Speaker C: This event of you exiting the captain's body and what your plans are.
[00:59:29] Speaker B: Sure. Sure.
He turns his head over his slinky noodle y body and looks over the room. Maybe not here, though.
[00:59:38] Speaker C: Yeah. Let's go get a cup of coffee.
[00:59:44] Speaker B: Okay.
And he comes out of the room.
[00:59:47] Speaker C: Is there any crew left that makes coffee?
[00:59:50] Speaker B: Oh, we can figure that out.
[00:59:52] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:59:53] Speaker D: Maybe this guy can make a coffee when he wakes up. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. He's okay.
[01:00:01] Speaker B: And you come out.
The captain turns, he stands up on hind legs and closes the door behind him. What the fuck?
Turns and faces you. Bathwack. Um, no. He's certainly Complicit in. In all of this.
[01:00:23] Speaker D: No, no, he's not.
[01:00:25] Speaker B: Oh, he is.
[01:00:26] Speaker D: He.
He.
Now, I just realized that I can't.
[01:00:36] Speaker B: Say why is why he's. Okay.
[01:00:38] Speaker E: Your compelling argument that he is a follower of King Bck.
[01:00:42] Speaker B: Hold.
[01:00:43] Speaker D: It's not going to. It's not going to help. And also, I can't say that he helped us. When? During the mutiny. But I actually could. I could say. Actually, that's what I'm going to say. I could say we.
We. We tried to stop the mutiny and he raised the lock down.
[01:01:06] Speaker B: Is this true, Rafina?
[01:01:08] Speaker C: This character? Well, I wasn't there when it happened, but I can vouch for this character here. This.
I have a good sense of his bona fides.
[01:01:21] Speaker B: Okay.
[01:01:24] Speaker D: I mean, how do you know he's a mutineer?
[01:01:28] Speaker B: Well, I. He's one of the crew.
[01:01:32] Speaker D: Yeah, but surely they aren't all involved.
[01:01:36] Speaker B: Well, I mean, they were all standing over my dead body, swords pointed towards some of you, though, I guess. You weren't there kick, were you?
[01:01:50] Speaker D: No.
[01:01:52] Speaker B: You were down here.
Yeah, sort of. Prowling about.
[01:02:00] Speaker D: Whoa.
How is fishing?
[01:02:05] Speaker B: Fishing? That's nice. Fishing's a good.
Good activity.
I don't know if it necessarily befits a.
Well, I was gonna say it doesn't befit a king, but I don't know about.
[01:02:23] Speaker C: What do you mean by that?
[01:02:25] Speaker D: Talking about kings.
[01:02:26] Speaker B: Oh, no. No reason. We don't want to be talking about something like that with someone. Could be playing possum on your shoulder.
[01:02:35] Speaker A: Wow.
[01:02:37] Speaker C: I thought you were a ferret.
[01:02:40] Speaker B: Oh, Rafina, endear yourself to me more and more with every passing moment.
[01:02:50] Speaker C: Quick, let's find that coffee.
[01:02:59] Speaker B: Hey everyone. If you like what you hear, please leave us a kind review wherever you listen to us. Also, consider supporting us by subscribing to us on ko [email protected] supportpfd where you can gain access to lots of exclusive treats and behind the scenes goodies. Thanks for listening and we'll see you next time.
