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Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: You're listening to the show about keeping a low profile on cruise ships. It's pork fried dice.
I'm Eric, and I'm the dungeon master.
[00:00:13] Speaker B: I'm Abby, and I play Rufina.
[00:00:16] Speaker C: I'm Alex, and I play bapwax.
[00:00:19] Speaker D: I'm KT and I play will.
[00:00:23] Speaker E: I'm Adam and I play Roscoe.
[00:00:28] Speaker A: Hold on to your haversacks. Let's roll.
Meanwhile, Mo has devoured his stuff.
Wow. I mean, I kind of think usually you guys are silly or stupid for cooking your food, but this actually good.
Like, could other food taste like this when cooking?
[00:00:57] Speaker D: Who's he sitting with? Captain Clockface. Oh, is he saying that for everyone to the room?
[00:01:00] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:01:00] Speaker D: Okay. Yeah.
[00:01:01] Speaker A: Modus captain clock faces. Everybody hears.
[00:01:06] Speaker E: I believe what they. What they're trying to say is our compliments to the chef.
[00:01:13] Speaker A: Yeah, the chef is cool.
[00:01:21] Speaker D: So cool.
[00:01:23] Speaker B: Rafina says to mo, sometimes if you just boil stuff in water, it's great.
[00:01:29] Speaker A: Okay. It tastes like this.
[00:01:33] Speaker B: I don't know how they made this. It doesn't really taste like tea. I was thinking more of, like, sticks and stuff.
Okay, just so you know.
[00:01:45] Speaker A: And he picks up his plate and starts licking it.
[00:01:49] Speaker D: Yeah, I'm almost licking my plate. Like, will is, like, making sure every last morsel gets into it.
[00:01:54] Speaker A: You've never seen will eat this much food before.
[00:01:56] Speaker D: Yeah, he's really in the character, for sure.
[00:01:59] Speaker B: Oh, nice. Very nice.
[00:02:00] Speaker E: Roscoe will lean over to Shamey. Hey. Yeah, you take. Take your turn at the memory tradition.
[00:02:07] Speaker A: All right.
[00:02:09] Speaker D: Got this.
[00:02:10] Speaker A: I think of a good one at the kitchen door. Bathwack. The dwarf opens it. He is flustered. He's busy. They're busy in there. Like, there's a ton going on. You can peek in. And the other. The woman who's in there is bustling all around. Yeah.
[00:02:27] Speaker E: What.
[00:02:28] Speaker A: What do you need?
[00:02:30] Speaker C: Do you have the gullies and green?
[00:02:33] Speaker A: Oh, we don't do drinks in here, but I'll call down for that. You just go back to your seat. Yeah, he just, like. He's. He looks. He's not upset with you. He's upset with his self. He says, ganchar, we've got the drinks. And she says, ah, I knew we were forgetting something.
[00:02:53] Speaker D: Oh, no.
[00:02:55] Speaker C: And I'll step back and let the door close. I'm just gonna slide back to my seat.
[00:03:03] Speaker D: Bathwack. Enemy to the working class. He's a king. Of course, he's probably not gonna tip either. No, I'm just.
Do we have to tip in this situation?
[00:03:18] Speaker B: I would ask you don't know, on a cruise, sometimes at the end they just have you pay a big lump sum as a tip.
[00:03:24] Speaker D: I've never.
[00:03:25] Speaker B: A certain amount of cruise that we went on our honeymoon.
[00:03:28] Speaker D: That was our, like, Alaska, right? Yes. Yeah.
[00:03:32] Speaker B: Yes. I would have. I wish I could have tipped the glaciers, not tip them over.
[00:03:36] Speaker D: I wish I could have tipped cow. Tip the glaciers.
[00:03:43] Speaker E: Well, that's just the tip of the iceberg.
[00:03:46] Speaker B: Very nice.
[00:03:47] Speaker D: That's true.
[00:03:48] Speaker C: You just have to wait for them to get really small.
[00:03:51] Speaker A: Oh, no, you don't have to wait that long.
[00:03:54] Speaker B: No, not that long.
[00:03:56] Speaker D: All right, let's pretend we're in a fantasy world where there are so many glaciers.
[00:04:01] Speaker A: Oh, I forgot to tell you. This is all an allegory for global warming. This whole story that I'm telling.
[00:04:06] Speaker B: And the cruise ship runs into a glacier also.
[00:04:13] Speaker C: Are we going to see glaciers on this cruise? Are we going to run into glaciers on this cruise?
[00:04:17] Speaker B: Yes, we are. There's going to be. Yes.
[00:04:21] Speaker C: Oh. Oops.
[00:04:23] Speaker A: It's the Lusitania.
[00:04:24] Speaker D: Eric panicked. It really wasn't going to hit an iceberg.
[00:04:29] Speaker A: Shimi stands up. Well, I didn't know Beth whack as long as some of you did, though I guess none of you knew him that long, right? Well, Valencia, you did. You've known him your whole life. I bet we haven't exactly got your whole story. I'm excited to hear your. Your memory of the king. I bet it's gonna be a detail. Don't take too long. We don't want our meals to get our courses to get cold. But you take. Take the time you need. It'll be alright. They can reheat it if they need to. We. I expect something big from you.
[00:05:03] Speaker D: Will is looking at him just like this, like that. You know what? What the fuck, man? Like, not. Doesn't say anything, but just that face. Come on.
[00:05:15] Speaker A: But anyway, there was a time when the king. King Batwack, he had.
He had a certain tenacity to him. Had a when. When he would latch on to something as something that he knew needed to happen, knew that he wanted or needed. He did everything he could to get it. And at one point, I, due to some unfortunate circumstances, found myself in possession of a pair of shoes that he really wanted.
[00:05:56] Speaker D: Oh, God.
[00:05:57] Speaker A: They were. They were somehow magically affixed to my feet. I couldn't get them off. And that's why he wanted them.
[00:06:06] Speaker D: I mean, I brain text him if I can, and I'm like, watch it. She me.
[00:06:12] Speaker A: Um.
And so he looks over.
I was really, um, just very impressed by his. His persistence and his dedication to a task.
And he sits down.
[00:06:35] Speaker D: Well, that made so much sense if you knew Bathweck like I did, know what he had. All that was needed to be said.
[00:06:49] Speaker A: And the captain says, oh, okay.
Right.
Is everybody ready for the next course?
[00:06:58] Speaker D: Course we're all licking our feet is.
[00:07:01] Speaker B: Ready with the clap.
[00:07:03] Speaker A: All right, Rafina on 3123.
[00:07:09] Speaker B: A little faster next time, captipants.
[00:07:11] Speaker A: Oh, okay. Yes, certainly.
[00:07:14] Speaker E: I should say. It's actually tradition where I'm from, that for the next course, it's a whole game of patty cake.
[00:07:22] Speaker D: Nice.
[00:07:23] Speaker B: You mean to call the next course.
[00:07:25] Speaker E: Yeah, we all know that. You know, who wouldn't want to play patty cake with Rafina?
Roscoe's looking at. Roscoe is doing full waggling of his.
[00:07:36] Speaker B: Eyebrows at the captain so fast that, like, eyebrow hairs are flying off your face. Right?
[00:07:44] Speaker E: Yeah. Roscoe doesn't have eyebrows by the end of his wagon.
Waggles them right off.
[00:07:50] Speaker D: He waggles his eyebrows off is my.
[00:07:52] Speaker A: What's his face breaking bad?
[00:07:55] Speaker D: Oh, wait, wait. The russian guy? No, no, no. I think you're thinking of a different show.
[00:08:02] Speaker A: The Russian arrested development. Right?
[00:08:05] Speaker D: I don't actually. Yes.
[00:08:07] Speaker A: Begley and Begley Junior.
[00:08:09] Speaker B: Yes. He is alopecia.
[00:08:11] Speaker D: But he's in Breaking Bad. That's why you.
[00:08:13] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:08:13] Speaker D: Oh, no, no, he's in.
[00:08:14] Speaker B: Better call Saul.
[00:08:15] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:08:15] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a weird mind jump universe.
[00:08:19] Speaker A: Is he a lawyer in.
[00:08:21] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:08:21] Speaker A: Arrested development, too.
[00:08:22] Speaker B: A lawyer. He's in the business, I think.
[00:08:25] Speaker A: Okay, whatever.
[00:08:26] Speaker D: I don't remember.
[00:08:27] Speaker A: Ed Begley, junior.
[00:08:28] Speaker D: Ed Begley Junior. Such a cutie pie.
[00:08:31] Speaker C: I've take a quick break.
[00:08:33] Speaker D: I took a quick break. Okay, good idea.
Yeah.
[00:08:40] Speaker B: Press the button. There it is. There it is.
[00:08:43] Speaker D: I can't remember. It's like a negative thing. It's so funny.
[00:08:47] Speaker B: God, I can't let go. Or. Oh, yeah.
[00:08:49] Speaker D: Can't let go. Hold on, hold on, hold on.
God is beautiful. I love it.
I wonder. Oh, my God, is Stede Bonnet the guy that's sitting next to kick or black one of them?
[00:09:04] Speaker B: Oh, maybe.
Please, please. Eric's like, oh, they're gonna be so disappointed.
[00:09:14] Speaker D: Now I know some doofus who broke up with some other doofus.
All right.
[00:09:23] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:09:24] Speaker D: Waggles his eyebrows off was my last note. Roscoe waggles his eyebrows.
[00:09:28] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Alopecia Begley Junior.
[00:09:30] Speaker D: Yep.
[00:09:31] Speaker A: That's sitting next to patty cake.
[00:09:33] Speaker B: Yes. Patty cake.
[00:09:34] Speaker A: But they. So they did clap, I think. Yeah, yeah.
[00:09:38] Speaker D: But that clapping happens. That the pack.
No worries. We're gonna hear the body all right.
[00:09:43] Speaker A: So the kitchen staff comes out, clears your plates, come back for the salad course. We have a shrimp and cherry salad with fresh blue cheese.
[00:09:56] Speaker D: You said that because you love blue cheese, don't you? I do love blue cheese, my dear. Like, did you look up what flavor combos would go? Or like, did you this completely on your own?
[00:10:06] Speaker A: Some inspiration from like just random food and menu and meal generators online.
[00:10:12] Speaker D: Because I'm like, cherry and blue cheese. Like, that's sharp and sweet. Like, it might go like, did you get that from somewhere or maybe. I have no idea what I'm talking.
[00:10:21] Speaker A: I don't remember.
[00:10:22] Speaker D: Okay, well, cool. He loves blue cheese. That's why I put it.
[00:10:25] Speaker A: It was like 7 hours ago, so I don't remember.
[00:10:27] Speaker D: I bet the next course also will have blue cheese in it. Every course from now on is all blue cheese.
Yummy. Oh, my God. It's delicious. I eat it. Is there dressing? Oh, the blue cheese is like a dressing?
[00:10:42] Speaker A: No, the blue cheese is like fresh cut crumble blue cheese or whatever. There's like a vinaigrette on it.
[00:10:50] Speaker D: Will is like this with his vinaigrette. He's like, uh, like, uh, you know at the end where you, like, where those people, the fancy, like, I've never been in a place like this. But when they pour the thing like a KfC. Like on a KFc, you know what I mean? You know when you go to KFc and they like pour the gravy over the mashed potatoes and at the end they're like, yes, they do the little dip. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm talking about.
That's what I do.
[00:11:15] Speaker A: The kitchen staff is grating or grinding pepper.
[00:11:19] Speaker D: Yeah, you like it?
[00:11:20] Speaker B: A pepper with the pepper thing that's like 5ft long.
[00:11:25] Speaker D: Yep.
I love that.
[00:11:31] Speaker C: It goes all the way back to the kitchen.
[00:11:34] Speaker B: Five people, five of the waiters have to support it.
[00:11:37] Speaker D: Somebody's feeding peppercorns into the end of it. Hey, shoveling like a drains furnace.
[00:11:44] Speaker A: Uh huh.
[00:11:46] Speaker D: Who wants all this pepper? Why do we need all of it? Get away. We all start sneezing, knocking our plates on the floor.
[00:11:53] Speaker A: You guys are ridiculous.
[00:11:55] Speaker D: Sorry.
[00:11:56] Speaker B: Who's gonna share a memory this time? I'm enjoying these memories.
[00:12:02] Speaker D: And how many courses would they be like? I wonder if I would wait, but I think I'll just do it. Like, how many more people would know bathwhack? Like, do enough people know bathwatch?
[00:12:11] Speaker B: Well, Mo hasn't gone. Wait, Moe did go.
[00:12:13] Speaker E: No, no, we've got Moe. Moe will or Valencio.
[00:12:18] Speaker B: And Captain Clockface, who, of course, isn't going to say more than raw, but also it'd be fun to sort of make.
[00:12:27] Speaker A: Kick, do it.
[00:12:28] Speaker B: Kick do it.
[00:12:29] Speaker E: Yeah, for sure.
[00:12:30] Speaker D: What memory do you have? I just got here.
[00:12:34] Speaker B: I'm just eating.
[00:12:35] Speaker D: Yeah. I don't know.
[00:12:36] Speaker A: And with the salad, Phileas comes in through the main doors and he's bearing a tray of various drinks.
They match whatever you guys chose up in the lounge above.
Save for you, Batwack, you are brought a tray with the gully's end green. There's a glass of this bright green liquid and there's a. A slotted spoon and a sugar cube and a second glass.
[00:13:10] Speaker C: Oh, there's another glass to, like, pour.
[00:13:12] Speaker A: It into over the sugar.
[00:13:15] Speaker C: But this is good. So I can start preparing it in the way that I think it's meant to be prepared and then I can share it with the guy next to me.
[00:13:27] Speaker E: Aw.
[00:13:28] Speaker C: So this is what I'll do. I'll sort of do the things with my hands, with the spoon and the sugar cube. And the other thing that I pour. Oh, what is it? It's, um.
What am I pouring over the top like a shaker? Water? No.
[00:13:42] Speaker B: Oh. Oh.
[00:13:43] Speaker D: I don't remember. I just know there's videos about it because I'm fascinated. But.
[00:13:48] Speaker A: Yeah, I saw Moulin Rouge.
[00:13:50] Speaker D: Yeah, that whole thing was absinthe.
[00:13:52] Speaker B: So wait, is it canon that this is an absinthe drink?
[00:13:57] Speaker D: No, just said that he was.
[00:13:59] Speaker A: Alex was. He was kind of thinking of.
[00:14:02] Speaker B: Oh, got it. Got it.
[00:14:03] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:14:04] Speaker B: Okay. Yeah, I'm taking notes.
[00:14:06] Speaker C: No, we don't know what this is.
[00:14:07] Speaker B: Okay, got it.
[00:14:09] Speaker D: What did I order? Did I order anything? What? Drinks.
[00:14:11] Speaker A: You had an order. You had chosen. There was champagne, I thought.
[00:14:15] Speaker D: Yeah, I had champagne. All right with me still, huh? Okay, so we just have champagne.
[00:14:19] Speaker A: Well, they bring you a fresh whatever of what you had up there.
[00:14:22] Speaker D: Champagne.
[00:14:24] Speaker C: I pour half of it into the second glass and then slide it down.
[00:14:31] Speaker A: Oh, thanks.
[00:14:32] Speaker C: I don't really say anything. I just put it in front of him and then I drink.
[00:14:36] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:14:37] Speaker A: He lifts the glass up to you. Drinks as well.
[00:14:45] Speaker D: If it doesn't look like anyone else will do the memory thing, I guess I'll do my memory thing. Like he'll, you know, like, down a glass of champagne dramatically. Probably only the first one because I don't think he would have drank before this because he's not a big drinker, but just because it's part of the act, he'll down the first glass because there's another one coming, and he's like, I might as well share my memories.
King Bathwag, the former king. No, he'll always be king in my heart.
[00:15:16] Speaker A: Right, everyone, buckle up.
[00:15:18] Speaker B: Live long the king.
[00:15:19] Speaker D: Live long the king. Right. We say it the opposite way in Gullyzan. You're right, Rafina.
I mean, what can I say? We've been together for years. Like, I've watched him defeat so many enemies, he's conquered so many villains, he's done so many good. Good deeds in the face of true evil.
Things like defeating a whole cave of werewolves single handedly. No help.
Yeah, that's right, Roscoe. You weren't there, were you?
And you know, he saved a whole town from a corrupt mayor. This man was a paragon of virtue.
I was there when he married his wife.
I was there for the birth of his child. I know everything about him.
He was a good father. He was a good husband.
He saved my life. And then will looks confused because he's like, that's actually true. He saved my life. He saved my life. And he looks at Bathwack, and he's like.
And then he looks away because it's not actually Bathwack and he has to not. But, yeah, he's.
I don't know what I'm going to do in the future without him. And then I sit down.
[00:16:54] Speaker E: And I.
[00:16:54] Speaker D: Drink another half of my champagne.
[00:17:01] Speaker A: Well. Well said. Well said. And he claps a hand on your shoulder again.
[00:17:06] Speaker D: He cringes away a little bit.
[00:17:08] Speaker B: Thank you, Valentio.
Rafina. Thanks, Valentia. With her mouth full of salad, blue cheese flying everywhere.
[00:17:22] Speaker A: Well, I'm.
I'm here for you and your loss. Whatever that means, whatever I can do for you. I want you to feel the full support of those around you. Valencio, we've all experienced something like this in our lives, so we all can understand and empathize. Feel free to just come to any of us.
[00:17:46] Speaker D: Is he shaking me the way you're doing?
[00:17:48] Speaker A: Yeah, he just has the hand on your shoulder just, like, kind of gently vibrating you.
[00:17:52] Speaker D: Will's face?
Yeah, Will's face goes from, like, this pain, like he was acting and crying and, like. But also confused because he just said something that was actually kind of nice and meaningful to him. And then he. But his face slowly just, like, is just turning stonily into the same expression. Like he's trying to maintain it, but, like, he's shaken, like. So he's just batting my shoulder way too much.
[00:18:15] Speaker A: We're all here for you. You can rely on any of us.
[00:18:18] Speaker D: I feel it.
[00:18:19] Speaker A: I feel it. Just think of us as your family, Valencio. Any of us here, right?
[00:18:24] Speaker E: Roscoe reaches over from his table and puts his hand on Valencia's other shoulder.
[00:18:30] Speaker D: He's. He has to.
[00:18:31] Speaker E: He's reaching, like, from his.
[00:18:32] Speaker A: You're, like, half out of your seat.
[00:18:34] Speaker E: Yeah, yeah. They're there for Lucio, dead.
[00:18:38] Speaker B: Rafina looks at this and is like, hey. And gets up and runs over and hugs Valencio. I'm gonna get into this.
[00:18:45] Speaker D: That's amazing. Oh, thank.
[00:18:47] Speaker A: See? See?
[00:18:50] Speaker D: I feel good right now.
[00:18:53] Speaker A: A man is not an island.
[00:18:56] Speaker D: It's very true. Although I do feel like I'm drowning right now.
[00:18:59] Speaker A: I know, I know. Just let it out, Valencio. It's okay.
[00:19:04] Speaker D: All right.
The blue cheese, it's stinging my eyes.
[00:19:08] Speaker A: Oh, Valencia, we know you're sad.
[00:19:11] Speaker D: He is really rubbing my cheese. This is, like, too much.
He's very fatherly, but way very familiar with me. Okay.
And then I just take my fork, and I try to eat so that other people know. Let's just get back to eating like he's trying to.
[00:19:33] Speaker A: And kick.
The guy has finished his drink.
He sort of coughed after each sip.
He says, oh, I mean, I have to admit, I'm not much of a drinker, so that was a lot good, right?
[00:19:53] Speaker E: It's good.
[00:19:54] Speaker A: I mean, it's.
I think it's help.
It's helping.
And he, like, tries to stab a cherry, and he, like, keeps missing in the bowl. Tink, tink, tink, tink, tink.
[00:20:12] Speaker E: That's great.
[00:20:13] Speaker A: Um, do you.
Do you. I mean, what is someone supposed to do after.
What is. He was just.
He pushes his salad away, puts his head down on his arm on the table.
[00:20:36] Speaker D: I'm like, that's my bit. Ugh.
[00:20:43] Speaker A: The captain looks over, alarmed.
Yeah. Does kick do anything?
[00:20:50] Speaker C: Do you want to. Do you want to go for a walk?
[00:20:58] Speaker A: He's sobbing pretty loudly. You're not even sure if he hears you. He doesn't react.
[00:21:04] Speaker E: You want to go for a walk?
[00:21:09] Speaker A: I don't know. Let's. I mean, I'm still hungry.
[00:21:22] Speaker E: Yeah, that's. That's amazing.
[00:21:24] Speaker D: He's met his soulmate. They don't understand. They don't realize that they've actually met each other's soulmates right now.
[00:21:29] Speaker E: I love the idea of, like, somebody. Like, somebody having an emotional outburst at me at a meal, like, at the table. And, like, normally, yeah, this is something that, like, you'd be like, excuse me. And people are, like, expecting them to. So you're gonna go, right? No, I'm still hungry.
I mean, I'm just gonna keep having this emotional outburst here.
[00:21:56] Speaker B: It's so perfect.
[00:21:57] Speaker A: Why is he. Why he cried? Did he know? Batwack anyone? I'm speaking loud enough so all in the room can hear.
[00:22:07] Speaker B: I don't think so. I don't think I've ever met him. Rafina gets up from her chair and trots over. Hello, sir. Are you all right? Rafina phalange pot at your service. And who are you?
[00:22:19] Speaker A: No, I'm not all right. My heart is broken, too.
[00:22:25] Speaker B: Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Terrible. I'm so sorry.
[00:22:29] Speaker A: Have you ever been in love?
[00:22:34] Speaker B: Probably. But does that. Does that help you?
[00:22:39] Speaker D: Probably. But does that help you? That's amazing.
[00:22:43] Speaker A: Do you mean, like, theoretically, if you were, would it help me or the fact that you might have been in love? Is that helpful? Is that what you're asking?
[00:22:52] Speaker B: I merely wish to know what you need at this moment.
[00:22:56] Speaker A: I don't know what I need. I need him. I need him.
[00:23:06] Speaker B: Just hang on to kick, okay?
[00:23:08] Speaker D: Just hang on.
[00:23:11] Speaker C: I wonder if he's in love with the guy you killed in the middle of town.
[00:23:16] Speaker D: They broke up, and then he got murdered, so it'll never get resolved.
[00:23:21] Speaker E: Wow.
[00:23:22] Speaker B: That's what broke them up?
[00:23:24] Speaker D: Yep. That's what he calls a break.
[00:23:26] Speaker B: Death made him really mad.
[00:23:28] Speaker D: Somebody shot him with a shot?
[00:23:29] Speaker A: With a bowler. As he falls to the ground. I don't think we should see each other anymore.
[00:23:37] Speaker D: Oh, my God. All right, he says, who's kick? I think you said hang on to kick. Who's kick?
[00:23:43] Speaker B: It's your table mate. Right here. Kik, have you met this gentleman whose name I haven't heard yet?
[00:23:50] Speaker C: Yeah, we met.
[00:23:51] Speaker B: Oh, really? Well, why don't you introduce me to him then?
[00:23:56] Speaker C: Wait, what's your name?
[00:23:58] Speaker A: Yeah, are you talking to him or to Rafina?
[00:24:01] Speaker C: Well, both of you, really.
[00:24:03] Speaker A: Well, both of you, really.
[00:24:06] Speaker B: I thought we'd met. I'm so sorry that you don't remember or that I'm so sorry that I haven't introduced myself properly to you. Because I thought we had come onto the boat together, but I never got around to saying.
Rafina Phalangepod, at your service.
[00:24:20] Speaker C: Oh, nice to meet you, Rafina.
Kick.
And this guy. Hey, what's your name?
[00:24:28] Speaker A: It's Nar.
[00:24:30] Speaker D: Nar.
[00:24:31] Speaker C: Nar? Nar.
[00:24:32] Speaker A: For the wiki. It's spelled G N A R. I.
[00:24:35] Speaker D: Just spelled it nice, like a gnarled. I like that name.
[00:24:42] Speaker C: There. Now you know each other.
[00:24:47] Speaker B: Nar. I'm so sorry. Where are you headed on this journey?
[00:24:53] Speaker A: Nowhere.
[00:24:57] Speaker B: Well, we'll keep an eye out for you. Sometimes you do just have to feel these feelings and then they.
I know.
[00:25:06] Speaker A: Fucking suck.
[00:25:08] Speaker B: Yes. Yes. Just like when I accidentally murdered somebody and I was absolved of it too soon. I understand.
It's the same thing.
[00:25:22] Speaker D: Same thing, yeah, exactly.
[00:25:29] Speaker A: Well, the captain says we're all feeling some very strong feelings here, I think. Right, Valencio?
[00:25:38] Speaker D: He's patting my shoulder again, trying to.
[00:25:42] Speaker A: Do it so the mic.
[00:25:43] Speaker D: I choke slightly on some blue cheese. I'm like.
[00:25:47] Speaker A: And a cherry pit.
[00:25:49] Speaker D: Yeah, a cherry pit. There's pits in my stuff. I got the cherry pit. Salad is what I got. Of course.
Yeah. He nods while choking on some blue cheese.
[00:26:02] Speaker A: I hope someday I'm in love, says she. Me.
But though, I mean, I guess if it turns you into that. I don't know. I don't know if I've ever felt that sad, though. Of course it was sad that the king Badhwak died when he died. His real death, anyway. Well, I guess.
What?
[00:26:28] Speaker B: Rufina lifts her hands and looks at the captain expectantly.
[00:26:32] Speaker A: Okay.
Yes. Well, Roscoe, would you like to direct us in this next step for your customs?
[00:26:40] Speaker B: And she. And Rafina puts her hands down.
[00:26:46] Speaker E: I don't think patty cake needs a director.
[00:26:51] Speaker A: Well, I just. I want to make sure to honor your traditions.
[00:26:56] Speaker E: Yeah, no, I'm over the tradition. But now I'm thinking about Tanya again because of all the love shit.
Now I'm sad, too. So. Yeah, you just do patty cake. You just clapping, and then your hands touch each other like you're connected and like, you'll always be connected, but then maybe you're not.
[00:27:20] Speaker B: Pat a cake, patty cake, baker's man, bake me.
[00:27:24] Speaker D: You can't get as fast as you can.
Amazing. Amazing.
[00:27:32] Speaker B: And Rafina puts out her hands to see who wants to make that connection.
[00:27:37] Speaker A: Where are you right now? Are you still by gnar, or did.
[00:27:40] Speaker B: You go back to.
I'm more sort of. More in the middle of the room now because I've sort of backed away to look at the captain when I was looking expectantly.
[00:27:48] Speaker A: Yep. Well, if you're reaching out, he reaches out his hands immediately over the table.
[00:27:55] Speaker B: Rafina goes up and says, pat it.
And bonks their hands together and mix it, bonk, and mark it with a c and put it in the oven for captive pants and me.
[00:28:17] Speaker A: Yay.
Grinning broadly.
[00:28:21] Speaker B: Everyone else was crying.
[00:28:23] Speaker D: Will claps for the first time tonight. He claps. He's like, yes, it's happening. It's happening.
[00:28:30] Speaker A: Mo claps.
Hey, that was fun.
[00:28:36] Speaker D: Rafina's doing amazing. Like, oh, my God. I think Will is feel like everyone's so morose, and he's feeling like that, too, because of everything. This is a very feelingful room. And so he sends Rufina, like, a message that's just like, you're doing great.
And that's all he says. But it's like, you know, if you want to know the underlying. He's thinking about how she had said that I killed somebody, like, not very long ago, 30 minutes ago or so, very distraught. And so he's, like, so proud of her. She's being amazing.
[00:29:12] Speaker B: She winks at him again.
[00:29:16] Speaker A: And one of the people in the kitchen pokes their head out like they heard all the clapping, and they're not sure if it was the actual signal or not. They, like, assess the room, and it seems like everybody's good and ready to go. So they. They come out, they gather your salad plates, and then they come back out, and they're carrying these covered platters, like, individual platters for each of you with a metal bell cover on top, and they're all placed before you. And for the main course this evening, we have for you. And they sort of rush from one side to the other, pulling the covers off as quickly as they can. There's two of them.
[00:30:01] Speaker D: There's, like, six tables or five tables.
[00:30:03] Speaker A: There are eleven place settings.
[00:30:08] Speaker E: Roscoe's like, I can lift my own.
Unless. Is this like, New Jersey? I don't know.
[00:30:15] Speaker D: Nice.
When he sees Roscoe do that, he sits back. He's like, I won't lift mine up.
[00:30:22] Speaker A: For our listeners who don't live near New Jersey. Oh, yeah, New Jersey is a state pump where. Yes, it is.
[00:30:30] Speaker D: I grew up there.
[00:30:32] Speaker A: There are laws that say that all gas stations or petrol stations have to be full service. You're not allowed to pump your own gas.
[00:30:41] Speaker D: It was very weird. When I moved to Pennsylvania, I had to learn how to pump gas, and everyone always gave me such a hard time. But I will say that was one of the first things about you. You were so nice about it.
You give me a hard time later. Like, later when we were comfortable once.
[00:30:57] Speaker A: You should have known how to do it.
[00:31:02] Speaker B: Technology.
[00:31:03] Speaker D: Yeah, exactly. Like, it was so. Like, it gave me anxiety, and I didn't. You know, I mostly just stayed on campus, and I had, like, an old, like, I paid literally $500 for my car that I had junior year in college, and I had such anxiety. Like, every time I had to fill it, I just got so nervous about it.
[00:31:22] Speaker C: Having other people pump my gas gives me anxiety, too.
[00:31:26] Speaker B: Alex does not hate many things, but Alex hates New Jersey because Alex hates that he cannot pump his own gas.
[00:31:34] Speaker A: There's a full service gas station in the town.
[00:31:37] Speaker D: We've never been there, and that's how weird it is. I grew up with the full service stuff, and now I'm like, why would anyone want that? Like, why would you want that? It's awful. I went to that station once, like, a few years ago because I didn't know it was full service. And the guy came out, and I was immediately, like, never coming here again in my life.
It was very nice. It was a pleasant. I mean, if you had, like, normal brain, it would have been a pleasant experience. But I was, like, the whole time, like, just panicking, even though that's what I grew up with. Awesome. Oh, anxiety. So you're my best friend.
[00:32:14] Speaker B: Oh, anxiety.
[00:32:18] Speaker D: Individual platters with metal.
[00:32:20] Speaker A: It is New Jersey. Yes.
[00:32:22] Speaker D: Oh, wow.
[00:32:26] Speaker C: We can't have bb guns either.
[00:32:29] Speaker D: Oh, really?
[00:32:29] Speaker B: Can't do what?
[00:32:30] Speaker D: My dad had a bb gun. How did he get. My dad was such a rule follower. Is that a law now, or.
[00:32:36] Speaker C: I'm pretty sure.
[00:32:38] Speaker D: So it must be a new law, because, like, my gut. My dad never would have broken the law. He was such a nerd.
[00:32:43] Speaker A: He also never would have smoked pot either, right?
[00:32:45] Speaker D: Definitely would have went.
[00:32:46] Speaker A: And he never would have smoked pot either.
[00:32:48] Speaker D: Oh, shut up. My whole world.
My whole world.
Oh, my God.
[00:32:55] Speaker A: Oh, geez. For the main course we have, as the covers are lifted, a big plume of steam comes up. We have boiled serpent on a bed of sliced shallot, squash and pineapple.
Bon appetit.
[00:33:14] Speaker D: Boiled serpent like. Snake like snake. That's what that looks like. Does it look like a snack?
[00:33:19] Speaker A: It looks like a snack.
[00:33:21] Speaker B: Like a full water crust?
[00:33:22] Speaker D: Please. No, I love that you have these complicated dishes, but, like, what the fuck does boiled serpent. What's boiled serpent? Is it pieces of serpent like?
[00:33:29] Speaker A: No, it's a hole curled up like they're bones. Creature. I mean, there's not bones. You can see it's under skin.
[00:33:40] Speaker D: Is this something will has had before? Because I'm not like. I just don't know a boiled snake. See, like, here's the thing. I know people eat snake, and actually, I'm not averse to eating snake, but the idea of boiling a full snake sounds absolutely loathsome. Boiling an entire snake with a skin on it? Is that literally how it looks? Babe, stop shrugging.
Will panics. No.
[00:34:03] Speaker C: How to cook a snake. Step one, acquire fresh snake.
[00:34:10] Speaker E: Yeah, I don't know. This is starting to feel like some temple of doom shit, Eric.
[00:34:15] Speaker D: Right. Boiled snake. It's not like. Okay, all right. Snake, though.
[00:34:21] Speaker B: What was the first ingredient? The bed is on. I heard water crush.
And how did I think? Watercress.
[00:34:29] Speaker A: Like jean shallot?
[00:34:30] Speaker D: Exactly like that.
This is one of the ones I panic.
I am legitimately asking, like, is this. Does this seem normal? Or is it weird meta wise? Or if you want me to roll.
[00:34:47] Speaker A: Delicacy, it's not like something you're gonna get at your local tavern where they only serve stew.
[00:34:55] Speaker D: Right. Boiled serpent, though. This is something will's heard of or had before.
[00:35:00] Speaker A: Like, I feel like if anybody here has had it, it might be will.
[00:35:03] Speaker D: Really? Okay.
[00:35:04] Speaker A: Just because you will do. I like time. Had to entertain dignitaries from all corners of the. Of the nation.
[00:35:13] Speaker D: And how panicked was I the first time? Do memories come back?
[00:35:17] Speaker A: You probably have to train yourself to eat it.
[00:35:19] Speaker D: Yeah, I ate boiled serpent for two months.
[00:35:23] Speaker A: All right, Gary, cook me up some boiled serpent. I'm gonna give it another go.
[00:35:29] Speaker D: Amazing. Okay. Yeah. All right.
[00:35:32] Speaker E: Hey, who wants to lady in the tramp diss with me?
[00:35:41] Speaker D: I look at you like, I absolutely look right at you.
[00:35:44] Speaker A: Like, what, uh, which end do you want to start at?
[00:35:51] Speaker E: I mean, dips on the tail.
[00:35:58] Speaker A: And, um, Sean says, art. Now, I know looks like a lot of you have a bit of a concerned look on your face, but this is a. This is a great dish.
The serpent, when you boil it, it's. It gets this consistency. It's just. Mmm. And the flavors, you're not gonna. It changes as you go down the body.
[00:36:19] Speaker D: It's like a gobstopper.
[00:36:22] Speaker A: The middle tastes like schnozberries.
[00:36:27] Speaker D: Oh, man. I just like boiled meat in general. This is freaking.
[00:36:31] Speaker A: He picks it up and just, like. Like, grabs it on, like, two parts of it and just takes a bite, like, just out of it.
[00:36:37] Speaker D: Is it stiff or is it wiggly?
[00:36:39] Speaker A: No, it's curled up. It's boiled, so you have to pull it.
[00:36:43] Speaker C: Taught first.
[00:36:44] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. He stretches it. You hear?
And then.
No, you don't hear him bite. It seems to be soft.
[00:36:53] Speaker D: Soft with anything. Or is it just a full on snake with a guts? Is it gut?
[00:36:58] Speaker B: I think so many questions to me. It's got to be wrapped in dough. So that's like a pierogi. It's a serpent in a pierogi that I would eat.
[00:37:09] Speaker A: It's gotta be.
[00:37:09] Speaker D: It's gotta be. Only ruffians is like that. Ruffin is like, just as I wanted.
[00:37:15] Speaker B: But it was dyed to look like sneck skin.
[00:37:19] Speaker D: Snack skin. That's what I keep thinking.
[00:37:21] Speaker C: I thought you were saying, like, a snake climbed inside a pierogi and then got boiled.
[00:37:26] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. That's how they catch them.
They put out a giant pierogi, and they wait till the snake crawls inside.
[00:37:34] Speaker A: So you ask if it's gutted, if you like, start investigating with one of the various pieces of cutlery.
[00:37:41] Speaker D: I am polite as fuck.
[00:37:42] Speaker A: Yep. If you flip it over, you see that? Yeah. The underside isn't split open. The innards have been taken out, the bones and everything. It's just the take a deep breath and I go, I mean, the head.
[00:37:54] Speaker D: Four years ago, I still remember. And then I take a bite.
I do the bring. I guess that's tradition.
Pull it tight. Yep.
[00:38:06] Speaker A: What kind of serpent is this gnar takes? He's, like, still got his head. Cut it down. He pulls the plate up, like, kind of next to him. He just starts, like, pulling it over to his mouth and just eating it.
[00:38:18] Speaker B: Is Kik eating the boiled serpentine?
[00:38:21] Speaker C: I tie the end of my serpent to the front of my serpent to the end of his.
[00:38:29] Speaker A: And then I.
[00:38:30] Speaker C: Eat the shallots and the squash and the pineapple.
[00:38:35] Speaker B: Man, my servant is so long, it just keeps going.
[00:38:41] Speaker A: Look, I thought my relationship would.
[00:38:49] Speaker D: Oh, jeez.
[00:38:51] Speaker A: Um, yeah. What's his problem?
No one eats serpent.
I eat serpent.
[00:39:01] Speaker B: Everyone's eating serpent.
[00:39:02] Speaker A: I mean, it seemed like people worried.
[00:39:06] Speaker D: Will looks at him while holding the serpent and just takes a slow bite like he's doing it.
[00:39:12] Speaker B: Rufina looks at Mo out of the corner of her mouth. She says, it's just that that Indigo guy wants to talk about his business again. That's fine.
[00:39:26] Speaker A: Okay, well, as they said, bone, apple, tea. And he.
[00:39:34] Speaker D: Mo, is the originator of that phrase, eats up his serpent.
[00:39:38] Speaker E: Hey, mo, what's your memory of Bathwack?
[00:39:42] Speaker A: Hmm, let me think.
Um. Well, I mean, I always knew he leader, Batwack leader and king. He always have crown on. Um, even when he, like, hide it, it always there.
Um, and he.
I mean, I sometimes think I want to be Batwack.
Um, and now.
And now he is. He's dead.
Um, so I guess I can.
Am I leader now?
[00:40:30] Speaker D: That's not how it works, mo.
[00:40:33] Speaker A: Okay.
Oh, like election.
Uh, will you vote for me?
[00:40:40] Speaker D: Uh, no, it's too soon. Too soon for an election?
[00:40:46] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:40:46] Speaker D: Talk about it later.
[00:40:48] Speaker E: Well, we'll. We'll put together an exploratory committee when we get to Gully's. End. Okay. Good job, mo. Thank you.
[00:40:55] Speaker B: Yay.
[00:40:56] Speaker A: And if no one wants serpent, give to me before they come take away.
[00:41:04] Speaker B: Rufina gives him half her serpent because it's just too big for her.
[00:41:07] Speaker A: Yeah, sure.
Oh, Rafina, was that. Were you all right with the serpent? This was a favorite of mine growing up. I thought you.
[00:41:20] Speaker B: Yes, I enjoyed it so much. I just wanted to make sure I had room for the next course because it was a very, very intensely large serpent.
[00:41:29] Speaker A: Yes, well, I wanted to make sure you all had plenty to eat. Nothing but the best here on the ss abalone. Nothing but the best for you.
[00:41:37] Speaker B: Totally delightful and amazingly unusual.
[00:41:44] Speaker A: Oh, notable, right?
He blushes a little bit, and he raises his hands, looks over at you expectantly. Ruffina.
[00:42:03] Speaker B: And Ruffina goes like this before he gets a chance and says, ha ha.
[00:42:10] Speaker A: Oh, she got me, everybody. Did you see? Rafina got me.
And the kitchen staff comes out, they take away your cupboard platters, and they come back with a little, um, stemmed wide glass filled with, uh, like, a light green.
Looks like something chilled. And they, uh, set it down in front of each of you. Uh, here we have for the, uh, the palate cleanser, if you will, the sorbet. Uh, we have a cucumber sorbet with champagne. And they pour champagne over the. The sorbet in each of your glasses.
[00:42:52] Speaker B: Wow, that sounds good, actually.
[00:42:55] Speaker D: Yeah. What?
[00:42:56] Speaker C: Yeah. Is that a thing?
[00:42:58] Speaker D: Yeah. Did you make that up?
[00:42:59] Speaker B: Eric, can you cater our wedding?
[00:43:02] Speaker D: We're getting married tomorrow.
[00:43:06] Speaker A: I thought I was gonna get married.
No, I looked up, because it's, like, one of the courses or whatever. Like, in the traditional seven course meal, it's the sorbet. And. And it's often served with, like, literally with champagne in it or whatever.
[00:43:22] Speaker D: Wow. I've never been fancy. Wow.
[00:43:25] Speaker A: Me neither.
[00:43:26] Speaker D: Guys, let's get fancy. One day we should do it.
[00:43:29] Speaker B: Have a sort. We should just do all palate cleansing.
[00:43:32] Speaker A: Why don't I just cook this meal for you guys one day?
[00:43:36] Speaker D: I love it.
[00:43:37] Speaker B: Can you include the grilled cheese with the garlic powder in it?
[00:43:40] Speaker A: Because you don't know what the. You don't know what the last course is.
[00:43:43] Speaker E: This 7th horse meal is going to be the next special combo.
[00:43:47] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:43:49] Speaker E: Everyone on the cell doing, guys, who.
[00:43:52] Speaker D: Wants to boil a serpent special. Can we do a vegan version?
[00:43:58] Speaker A: Yeah. What's the. What's the toughest part to do? Probably the bat rib.
[00:44:01] Speaker D: Yeah, like.
[00:44:02] Speaker B: Like, I'm sure you can make a bone out of chia seeds.
[00:44:05] Speaker C: Can you? Let's go to get serpent. Can you. Can you buy a bat to cook?
[00:44:11] Speaker B: Catch it?
[00:44:12] Speaker D: Right? Like, I don't even know. Like, I'm. I'm. I'm sure I. Well, I guess there are definitely are parts of the world where you eat that. I know that. Like, again, I'm not averse to snake. It's just the boiled aspect of it. It's freaking me out.
[00:44:26] Speaker A: I wonder. I wonder if historians will be able to trace back to this episode as the source of COVID 2023.
[00:44:33] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[00:44:35] Speaker B: Not funny.
[00:44:36] Speaker A: Wasn't it? Trace two bats?
[00:44:38] Speaker D: Is it actually now?
[00:44:40] Speaker A: Was it not?
[00:44:41] Speaker D: The problem is there's just so much fucking misinformation now. I don't even know what the fuck.
[00:44:46] Speaker A: Oh. I never knew that that was disputed.
[00:44:49] Speaker D: I just wish I knew what the hell actually was the consensus now.
[00:44:53] Speaker A: So I wasn't trying to make fun of anybody who normally eats bats or serpents.
[00:44:58] Speaker C: I mean, here's an article in Nature from February 2022 and just says that bat coronaviruses are related.
[00:45:05] Speaker B: The New York. Yeah, the New York Times had a huge article of, like, a month or two ago about how we still just do not know. There's so much we don't know about it still.
[00:45:16] Speaker C: Yeah, viruses circulate in cave bats, blah, blah, blah.
[00:45:18] Speaker B: They were talking about all the controversies.
[00:45:21] Speaker C: And all the differ by only one or two. Blah, blah.
[00:45:24] Speaker A: I don't know.
[00:45:24] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. Like, all of the conspiracy theories out there and they, like, explored them and said, here's why some people give this credence, and here's. Here's why it's probably not true. Anyway, all this to say. Yeah, still, big question mark. And we probably will never know because there just wasn't, there weren't records kept. So this has been a fun.
[00:45:44] Speaker D: Sorry, I was not trying to derive it. No, I just wanted to make. I'm like, I can't remember if I just.
[00:45:50] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't know.
[00:45:51] Speaker B: Well, here's how you catch a bat.
[00:45:52] Speaker C: Plenty of bat viruses that, you know, I'm sure that PFD listeners could go and contract.
[00:46:03] Speaker D: Please don't.
[00:46:04] Speaker B: Please PFD listeners.
[00:46:06] Speaker D: Please don't leave that to us.
[00:46:08] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:46:09] Speaker D: That's the next episode.
[00:46:11] Speaker C: I'm really curious about cooking snakes now.
[00:46:13] Speaker B: Oh, jeez. The next urban dictionary search.
[00:46:16] Speaker D: Ever since I was a kid, one of my favorite movies was Crocodile Dundee. And in that movie, you know, he eats and everything. And I always thought it was so cool. I was like, what? He's roasting a snake over a fire. What the fuck? This guy's so hot. Paul Hogan. He was probably like, thousand years. Yeah, when I was a kid.
[00:46:33] Speaker A: Oh, my God. You're attracted to the weirdest fucking kid in movies. Yes.
[00:46:37] Speaker D: Father Damien from the Exorcist. I thought that guy was.
[00:46:40] Speaker C: Now I have to google this for a second.
[00:46:41] Speaker A: Dad on Mary Poppins, aka the guy from whatever.
[00:46:47] Speaker D: I'm trying to remember his actual name from bedknobs and broomsticks, but Professor Emilius Brown, I had such a crush on that old, old british man. I had such weird crushes growing up. It was all weird.
[00:47:01] Speaker E: The Nazis from sound of music?
[00:47:03] Speaker D: No, stop it.
All of them angry nazis.
[00:47:10] Speaker E: Say what you will, but they're snappy dressers.
[00:47:12] Speaker D: Oh, fuck.
[00:47:15] Speaker A: Say what you will.
Whatever you might say about them.
[00:47:21] Speaker D: Yeah, whatever you might say. Swipe that hand.
All right. Cucumber sorbet with champagne.
[00:47:29] Speaker A: Cucumber sorbet with champagne.
[00:47:31] Speaker D: Okay. Amazing. Oh, my gosh.
[00:47:34] Speaker C: I guess you shouldn't eat garter snakes. I did read that.
[00:47:37] Speaker D: Oh, are they too musky?
[00:47:40] Speaker C: I guess they get. They become poisonous from some of the things they eat. According to random web page on the Internet, which might not be true.
[00:47:48] Speaker B: One of us.
[00:47:49] Speaker C: But you can eat poisonous snakes if you cut their heads off.
[00:47:52] Speaker D: Yeah, right.
[00:47:52] Speaker A: Because they're not poisonous. They're venomous.
[00:47:54] Speaker D: Yes, venomous.
[00:47:55] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:47:56] Speaker D: That's crazy. Anyway, I never knew that about garter snakes. I love garter snakes a lot.
[00:48:01] Speaker C: I mean, I didn't think you were gonna catch one and cook it, but just in case.
[00:48:04] Speaker D: No, not. But now I won't, like, just thank you for telling me. Now remember that there's gonna go shoot.
[00:48:10] Speaker B: One with a bb gun in new Jersey.
[00:48:13] Speaker A: But make sure, Ben, then you bring it to the gas station. They have to cook it for you.
[00:48:21] Speaker D: Amazing.
What is happening?
[00:48:27] Speaker A: Seven layer jokes.
[00:48:30] Speaker D: Is that the next course?
[00:48:33] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:48:34] Speaker C: Seven layered joke cake.
[00:48:35] Speaker B: Who's going to give a memory?
[00:48:37] Speaker D: Oh, yeah.
[00:48:40] Speaker E: It's your turn.
[00:48:45] Speaker A: Captain clockface nods solemnly, pushes back from his table, gets up.
He walks out to the middle of the room and he pulls out a chair, one of the unused chairs out to the center. And he climbs up on the seat and he's hunkered down on it. He's miming, looking down, sort of at the floor, but as if he's kind of looking through the floor, like he's looking at something down below.
And he looks like. He's kind of, looks like he's hiding. And then he jumps down and pushes the chair out of the way. And he now is looking up at like, as if there's some sort of figure standing in front of him, much taller than he is, and he points at the necklace that he is wearing, and then he points up at something, and then he points back and forth, and he's excitedly sort of gesturing and sort of jumping up and down, and then he reaches out and hugs something in midair.
[00:49:50] Speaker D: Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh.
[00:49:55] Speaker E: That's so good.
[00:49:56] Speaker A: And then he goes and sits back down.
[00:49:57] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[00:50:00] Speaker B: Lovely.
[00:50:02] Speaker E: Yeah. Roscoe collapsed.
[00:50:04] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:50:05] Speaker C: Kik briefly covers his eyes.
[00:50:08] Speaker B: Covered his eyes. Oh.
Oh.
Do the wait staff come out because I clapped?
[00:50:18] Speaker A: I don't know. How did you clap in and out? The door opens, closes, opens, closes, open, closes.
[00:50:28] Speaker B: I don't know if. Does the recording pick that up? I hope it does.
[00:50:31] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:50:31] Speaker A: Well, we could hear it anyway.
[00:50:32] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:50:34] Speaker A: Yeah, it works. The door opens. Oh, yes.
The final course. Yes, please come. Good job, Rufina.
[00:50:42] Speaker B: Rufina grabs her thingy, her champagne, her sorbet, because she hadn't finished because she was listening or watching.
So what's the word? Rivetingly at clockface. And so she takes it and slurps it down really fast.
[00:50:59] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:51:00] Speaker B: Teeny, tiny detail.
[00:51:01] Speaker D: I love it.
[00:51:03] Speaker A: And, yes, you feel your palates cleansed as they.
[00:51:07] Speaker D: We feel our palates cleanse.
[00:51:09] Speaker A: You do?
[00:51:10] Speaker D: I'm writing it as a note. That's what I'm saying.
[00:51:12] Speaker E: Oh, yeah. I needed a pallidoscopy.
[00:51:18] Speaker D: Nice.
[00:51:20] Speaker E: I guess.
[00:51:24] Speaker A: And then they bring out a small plate with a little paper, like packet.
[00:51:34] Speaker D: Like, out of parchment paper or something like it got baked.
[00:51:36] Speaker A: Exactly.
It's open at one end, and they set it down in front of each of you. Now for the dessert course, the final course of this, your mourners feast for the great king bathwack. We present to you.
You each have a packet of three churros to enjoy.
[00:51:55] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh.
[00:51:56] Speaker D: That's so great. Hell, yeah.
I hope somebody else doesn't want theirs so I can eat theirs.
[00:52:05] Speaker E: Roscoe's gonna pat his pocket, and he's gonna remember something, and he's gonna stand up, and he's gonna walk around to gnar, and he's gonna.
He's gonna say, hey, I got just the sauce to put on your churros.
You're gonna love it.
And he gives him the bottle of brown treat.
[00:52:45] Speaker A: Mm hmm. Mm hmm.
[00:52:48] Speaker E: That is supposed to give him happiness. Happiness for days.
[00:52:58] Speaker A: All right.
Yeah. Well, thanks. Thanks.
Okay. Sure.
[00:53:08] Speaker E: I do. I put it on, but I think one of them was supposed to do it. And then we'll give it to the nearest kitchen. Servant or whatever.
[00:53:17] Speaker A: Oh, um, yeah, we can certainly do that. Yes. Oh. Oh, it's like a. Like a. Like a powder. Okay. Yep. Just. Any recommend? I've never heard of this. Is there any recommendation on. On.
[00:53:30] Speaker E: I don't know. I never had it.
[00:53:33] Speaker A: Oh, no.
[00:53:34] Speaker E: Yeah, you just sprinkle it on the churros, like.
[00:53:36] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:53:36] Speaker E: Like powdered sugar.
[00:53:37] Speaker B: Yeah. Okay.
[00:53:38] Speaker A: And you sprinkle it on. It's this little, like. Almost looks like cinnamon. Not quite as reddish, but over the churros and.
[00:53:48] Speaker E: Anybody else want some? Do I have enough for everybody?
[00:53:51] Speaker A: There's a lot in there. It's like a powder, so it's. You can use it multiple times.
[00:53:58] Speaker B: Is there a ceiling fan? Can you, like, throw it up at the ceiling fan? It dusts everybody's churros.
[00:54:03] Speaker E: I forget. Where did Roscoe get this again? Who gave it to him? It was the bartender, right? Or the. Trent.
[00:54:09] Speaker A: Rondell gave it to you in Trent. He was the bartender at. Yeah, the guy who had the waterfall tattoo behind his ear that we had.
[00:54:20] Speaker D: A meeting at his tavern or. For a while.
[00:54:23] Speaker E: Well, yeah, actually, I'm gonna. I'm gonna save the rest because it's kind of a rare thing, so I'll just. But. But, yeah, nor. I think you'll really like it.
[00:54:33] Speaker A: All right, I'll go. I'll give it a shot.
Sit back down to my new friend kick here. And he takes the churl, and you see him kick.
[00:54:47] Speaker C: Chomps at your o two.
[00:54:50] Speaker A: And he.
He just kind of looks down, head bowed, you know, I think.
But thank. Thank you. He looks over to you, Roscoe. I don't know if it's whatever you put on there, if it's just your.
Maybe everybody's kindness. He looks over at Rufina Pat's. Kicks hand next to him on the table.
But, I mean, yes, life. Life does go on, you know, we find ourselves experiencing these highs, these lows.
But the low just means there's another high coming.
I. You know, I may not find a love again like I had, but I know that. And he sniffs and kind of wipes his tears. He looks like he's kind of gathering himself a little bit. I know that.
Let me just say this. May. May each of you in this room, at some point in your life, find yourself an eldon.
We're gonna find out what happens next time.
[00:56:18] Speaker B: Wait, who's Eldon? I don't remember who Eldon is.
[00:56:22] Speaker E: That's a. That's a will thing.
[00:56:24] Speaker B: I figured it must be.
[00:56:26] Speaker E: Wait, wait, wait. Do I only know that because, Katie, you've. You talked to me about it before I was even a player. So has the name come up in this podcast before?
[00:56:35] Speaker C: I don't know.
[00:56:36] Speaker D: Who else. Definitely in the podcast.
[00:56:39] Speaker B: In this.
[00:56:40] Speaker D: I don't know if Roscoe. Yeah. Podcast. I don't know if Roscoe. Let's see.
[00:56:46] Speaker E: No, Roscoe has never heard that name.
[00:56:49] Speaker D: Well, the difficult part is just that Zulberdia is depicted in this poster in Bertagl as looking like Eldon.
But I don't think that Will has said that. I don't know that to anybody.
Bathwick knew that I didn't like the way his face looked because I was like, that's too specific. And that's not like, that's weird. That's happening.
[00:57:15] Speaker A: So the wiki comes to our.
[00:57:17] Speaker D: Oh, my gosh.
[00:57:18] Speaker E: Oh, yes.
[00:57:18] Speaker B: Of course it does.
[00:57:19] Speaker A: Abby, at one point, while you were looking at your Tivoli model in your terrarium that will got you, you said, there's a googly eye store in the little Tivoli town. And then I said to KT. You remember it now, Will. And Will said, it's just because Eldon wanted a craft store, and he really liked googly eyes. Okay. He was a mistake. I want to shut that place down.
[00:57:45] Speaker E: Oh, wow. Okay, so Roscoe has heard that, then.
[00:57:48] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[00:57:50] Speaker A: I'm just trying to see here this very little is currently known about Eldon's history or his relationship with Will.
[00:57:57] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:57:57] Speaker B: Oh, my.
[00:57:58] Speaker C: How did you find this? On the wiki?
[00:58:00] Speaker A: I just searched for his name.
[00:58:01] Speaker C: Holy cow. Is it really 748 pages?
[00:58:04] Speaker A: Probably.
[00:58:06] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
[00:58:06] Speaker D: This is why we all make changes for everything.
[00:58:10] Speaker E: I know. I just. I know. And I remember Eldon being a bigger. A big deal for Will because. Yeah, Katie, you told me that it was wild. That bourbon was a dragon.
[00:58:23] Speaker D: I like his.
[00:58:25] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:58:25] Speaker E: His part. His love is Eldon. Yeah. No, no, no.
[00:58:29] Speaker D: His father's.
[00:58:30] Speaker E: It's his love's father.
[00:58:32] Speaker D: Yes. His love's theadrick's father, Ellen Dale. I just remember. Cause, like, the first time I heard the name, I was like, wait a second. Is Burbage's boyfriend named Eldon? Because that is mine.
[00:58:44] Speaker A: Right.
[00:58:44] Speaker D: And I know you pronounce it differently.
[00:58:46] Speaker E: But I was like, right, but it's the same spelling.
[00:58:48] Speaker D: I was, like, crazy.
[00:58:50] Speaker B: Oh, really?
[00:58:50] Speaker D: Being weird because my character's x.
[00:58:54] Speaker E: We both independently.
[00:58:55] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:58:56] Speaker E: And so, I mean, burbage was haunted by the ghost of Eldon.
[00:59:00] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:59:00] Speaker D: So it seems like it's wild, though. Like, I couldn't even. I was like, how is that possible?
[00:59:07] Speaker B: Amazing. I love that.
[00:59:08] Speaker D: It is wild. Absolutely insane.
[00:59:12] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:59:13] Speaker E: What a nice cliffhanger. That's fascinating.
[00:59:15] Speaker D: How. Wait, okay. Tell me everything about what this guy looks like right now.
Fucking half orc. Like, that's it. I want to know, is he hot? Is he, like, what's going on?
[00:59:32] Speaker A: I mean, he's a half orc.
[00:59:34] Speaker D: Yeah, I know.
[00:59:35] Speaker A: He's your type. Yeah, well, he's a big guy.
[00:59:37] Speaker D: A big guy. Okay.
[00:59:42] Speaker A: He's brawny. He's tall.
[00:59:45] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:59:46] Speaker A: He has, like, a light green skin.
[00:59:52] Speaker C: All right, I'm not gonna read anymore in the wiki because I don't know any of this.
[00:59:56] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, it's like. Yeah, I mean, some of it, you know, some of it you don't know. I mean, I trust all of you to not metagame, but if you. If you want to make that easier for yourself, you don't have to look.
[01:00:07] Speaker C: No, yeah, I won't look. But. But, uh. Okay, so it's me. There is definitely a bunch of. There are a bunch of entries.
[01:00:15] Speaker A: There's a few things I read. The one, I think the other ones were.
[01:00:19] Speaker D: Just showed up. I know he showed up. Like, the audience knows that he showed up and he looked. I don't know, but that might have been a separate recording.
[01:00:24] Speaker A: I think. Everything else these guys don't know.
[01:00:27] Speaker C: Yeah, there are eight hits on those. On the wiki.
[01:00:30] Speaker D: That face, I mean. Yeah, like, oh, that's ridiculous. I. Okay, there has to be more than one person named Elden, but there's. I don't know what is happening right now.
How dare you? What?
Who is this?
[01:00:48] Speaker E: I love it.
[01:00:50] Speaker B: What a great recap and a fun episode. Lots of emotions and sweetness and food.
[01:00:58] Speaker A: You guys are awesome.
[01:00:59] Speaker B: And.
[01:01:00] Speaker A: Oh, but.
[01:01:00] Speaker B: And then the cliffhanger and thank you so much for accommodating my needing to start early and all that good stuff.
[01:01:08] Speaker D: It's ten after ten now, too.
[01:01:10] Speaker B: No, it's fine. It's fine because I know I wouldn't fall asleep right away. I just really should because of my stupid cold. I should wind down, and I'm sick of.
[01:01:19] Speaker E: You know what? I had. I had an idea, and I forget if it's ever come up before, but, like, sometime we should do a thing where all four of us players do a recap of the same session and, like, play them and compare and, like, see what. What we did.
[01:01:40] Speaker D: Wow, that's a great idea. I don't know if you've ever.
[01:01:43] Speaker E: Not, like, as a. Not like, as a competition or anything.
[01:01:46] Speaker D: Yeah, no, but as an experiment, just.
[01:01:48] Speaker B: To say, that's so fun, that's so creative. And we could, like, put even a little time limit on it so that we don't, like, try to, you know, like, sort of crunch them in a little bit. So we got these little mini recaps and see what.
[01:02:00] Speaker A: Or I could just take the whole session.
[01:02:07] Speaker D: Because it's.
[01:02:08] Speaker E: When it's kind of like, yeah, different memories of this. Memories of the same thing. It's like a. What's the movie? That. That's not the way I remember it. The Simpsons did a joke. That's not the way I remember it.
Because everybody remembers the event differently.
[01:02:26] Speaker D: That's awesome. I don't know.
[01:02:29] Speaker E: It's like, it's a famous movie. Well, Mark Jessen will figure it out.
[01:02:34] Speaker D: Yeah.
He's about to go on, like, a 14 day intense Internet movie.
[01:02:41] Speaker E: I hope he will research everyone remembering differently.
[01:02:46] Speaker A: I think at this point, the. The second most prolific contributor to the Wiki is Adam.
[01:02:54] Speaker E: Oh, yeah.
[01:02:55] Speaker A: After his. I guess a couple people were doing some of the earlier episodes.
[01:02:59] Speaker D: But what happened?
[01:03:00] Speaker A: He.
[01:03:01] Speaker E: I had three. I went on a spree at, like.
[01:03:03] Speaker A: Three in the morning or something, apparently. And in my episode descriptions, I've been linking to the wiki and I've been saying, here's a link to the blank wiki, and I'm giving it different adjectives.
And Ross, Roscoe, Adam decided to. To reference all of those on the appropriate wiki pages.
[01:03:24] Speaker D: Holy crap.
Oh, my God.
[01:03:27] Speaker B: Are they tagged in some way that, like, metadata wise, so that you could see a whole page of every single.
[01:03:33] Speaker A: No, I don't think so.
[01:03:35] Speaker B: That would be.
[01:03:37] Speaker E: Yeah, that's. That's a good idea. So that way, Eric doesn't do any more repeats.
[01:03:41] Speaker A: More repeats.
[01:03:42] Speaker B: Oh, not that. Not that we would do that for that.
[01:03:47] Speaker D: Rashomon.
[01:03:48] Speaker E: Rashomon is what I was thinking of. Rashomon.
[01:03:52] Speaker D: What is it called?
[01:03:53] Speaker E: Rashomon?
[01:03:55] Speaker D: I have no idea.
[01:03:56] Speaker A: It's a Pokemon. I think.
[01:04:00] Speaker E: Rashomon is a 1950.
[01:04:04] Speaker A: Oh, it's a curse on film.
[01:04:06] Speaker D: I don't know this at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:04:07] Speaker B: It's the one that's based on the hamlet, right?
[01:04:09] Speaker D: Or something.
[01:04:11] Speaker B: Where's that run?
[01:04:11] Speaker A: Throne of blood or whatever? It's.
[01:04:17] Speaker E: The philosophy of justice. Through an ingenious use of camera and flashbacks, Kurosawa reveals the complexities of human nature as four people recount different versions of the story of a man's murder.
[01:04:29] Speaker B: I love that. Oh, my gosh.
[01:04:32] Speaker E: So we could do that with recaps, and it could. And we put them all together, and it's a full episode.
[01:04:37] Speaker B: All of us can remember Batwack's death.
[01:04:40] Speaker E: I mean, and a part of it's like, we have to do we make sure that nobody uses the same song, but. No, like, maybe two people use the.
[01:04:47] Speaker D: Same song but do, like, different lyrics. Yeah.
[01:04:50] Speaker A: Just don't tell anybody what you're doing.
[01:04:53] Speaker D: Oh, my God. Someday I would love to do that. Yes, please. For sure.
We have to think of, like, the perfect one, or, like, not think of, but, like, we have to, like, we.
[01:05:05] Speaker A: Should, like, the perfect.
[01:05:06] Speaker D: Keep an ear out for, like, what we think would be a good one for that, because, like, we would all have to have a different. I mean, it could be any of them. I'm just saying there might be a.
[01:05:14] Speaker A: Good one for, like, not one where, like, there may be different, like, the episodes where people have split off and done different things.
[01:05:22] Speaker B: That wouldn't be one.
[01:05:24] Speaker A: Something where everybody has gone through the same thing.
[01:05:27] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly.
[01:05:28] Speaker D: Although that might make more sense for those times that we do that, because I remember trying to recap those, and it's like, I don't know what happened. And then.
Thanks.
[01:05:40] Speaker E: Well, this was.
[01:05:41] Speaker B: Thank you so much, everybody.
[01:05:43] Speaker E: Now I'm hungry for boiled serpent.
[01:05:46] Speaker A: Sorry, guys. I knew what would happen.
What the fuck?
[01:05:51] Speaker D: I'm so confused.
[01:05:54] Speaker A: All right, bye, guys.
[01:05:54] Speaker E: Okay, good night.
[01:05:56] Speaker B: Bye.
[01:05:56] Speaker D: Bye. Bye.
That was amazing, babe. That was amazing. What the fuck? What the fuck? How dare you?
[01:06:12] Speaker A: Mm hmm.
[01:06:15] Speaker D: Who is this guy? What does he look like? Exactly. I'll insert all of this description.
[01:06:20] Speaker A: Just draw.
[01:06:21] Speaker D: Does he look like he's just a hot half orc, then?
[01:06:24] Speaker A: I don't know. He's strapping.
[01:06:27] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[01:06:28] Speaker A: I am ugly.
[01:06:29] Speaker D: Fuck. And I'm not even really will, but I am obsessive. Oh, man. Well, I mean, who knows? There's probably other people named Eldon, right? Probably, babe. Like, in reality, right?
[01:06:42] Speaker A: Such a coincidence.
[01:06:43] Speaker D: It's not, like, the only. It's not like, the first time I ever heard that name in my life. And then, like, I'm like, oh, nobody else could be named that.
Although we live in a world full of magical other creatures who could have, like, all kinds of naming conventions. And so maybe. Yeah, maybe the same name barely exists in this world. Everyone has a completely different name, and I don't. Oh, no. But that's the worst. That's the worst outcome.
[01:07:11] Speaker A: Anguish.
[01:07:21] Speaker D: Hey, everyone, if you like what you hear, please consider leaving us a kind review wherever that sort of thing happens. Also, support us by sending us a tip on Ko Fi. You can find all of our social media [email protected]. thank you for listening and we'll see you next time.
